The Influencers Glamorizing Autism
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- čas přidán 20. 04. 2024
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📒 Sources 📒:
Chloe Hayden Tiktok: www.tiktok.com/@chloeshayden?...
HeyitsMaryAlice TikTok: / heyitsmaryalice
www.tiktok.com/@heyitsmaryali...
www.tiktok.com/@heyitsmaryali...
Paige Layle Tiktok: www.tiktok.com/@paigelayle?la...
Glamourise Definition: dictionary.cambridge.org/dict...
www.vocabulary.com/dictionary...
Reasonable Adjustments for Autistic People: www.england.nhs.uk/south/2023...
How long has autism been a spectrum: www.spectrumnews.org/news/evo...
Extreme Male Brain: www.cambridgeindependent.co.u...
Pretty Privilege: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_pr...
Ellie Middleton Instagram: elliemidds...
Paige Layle Reddit Thread: / tiktoker_paige_layle_o...
Disabled People are Stigmatised: business.scope.org.uk/article...
Autism and Eating Disorders: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Christine McGuinness Unmasking my autism: www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articl...
Finding out you're autistic after having a child: www.itv.com/news/2024-04-18/s...
Christine McGuinness and her Autism Journey: • Christine McGuinness O...
What is Dopamine Dressing: www.thewardrobeconsultant.com...
Dopamine Dressing Reel: / c5wtdc_mmpa
Glamourising Autism is apparently problematic and creating a false narrative: www.kidspot.com.au/news/holly...
What is Autism: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
NHS Autism Wait Times are Terrible: www.rcpsych.ac.uk/news-and-fe...
Autism and Mental Health: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Early Autism Research Focused on Boys: www.keranews.org/health-welln...
Beautiful is Good Effect: clarkrelationshiplab.yale.edu...
Bright Hair and Autism!: www.tiktok.com/@catastrophicl...
Chloe Hayden and Insulting Comments: www.tiktok.com/@chloeshayden/...
The general public has low knowledge on autism: www.sciencedirect.com/science...
Autistic People are Judged by Neurotypicals quickly: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28145...
DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.
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I feel like there’s a lot more I could say on this topic, but I’m excited to know what you think!
If you missed the one reacting to the Harvard Psychiatrist who thinks obesity is the cause of autism: czcams.com/video/pR9bC9bHWRc/video.html
Or if you want to look at some funny autism memes with me!: czcams.com/video/okCnoFC5WS4/video.html
Anyway, back to listening to Tortured Poets now 😂😭💛
I did not expect that sponsorship on this channel
I feel the same way about the Barbie Doll Tarot card readers...
For real that album is lovely but it’s long 😭 I feel so bad for Taylor like she’s working so hard
good job
@@tr-st_me_bro I did not expect a raccoon 🦝 to be using google/ a.i. 🤖 social media.
"the oldest autistic person i worked with was seven and therefore i know exactly how every single autistic adult looks like" is such a weird take
Yeah well she's an ABA therapist. I wouldn't take anything she says with a grain of salt, I'd take it with a whole salt shaker. For those who have trouble with idioms, that means that she does not need to be taken seriously because what she is saying is not accurate.
She says "of course she doesn't know how an adult autistic person behaves" in the same breath as well, yeah she doesn't.
And she know so LITTLE about autism as an “autism professional” that she ignores the obvious fact that they work children whose autistic traits are recognized earlier. She COMPLETLY IGNORES the fact that a enormous percentage of autistic people internelize, suppress, and mask their struggles and challenges as autistic children be.g. or they are super quiet and introverted, isolate so they sometimes they aren’t diagnosed until their teens or adulthood. This “autism specialist” thinks “all austic kids” pass through her ABA training ignoring that autistic children can have a wide spectrum of autistic traits and behaviors. She is ignoring the fact that she has never even encountered autistic children with a different autistic profile than the narrow specific group she has worked with.
It’s as if non-autistics psychologically need to express their superior status as Entitled Judges” on if we are autistic. And, if we do Autism Advocacy then we’re “Fake Autistics and grifters”.
Brrr.
Does she work with the children's parents? If she does then she likely knows adults with autism
EXACTLY. Someone whose job is to torture autistic children into being “normal” has thoughts on what “real” autism is.
"You don't look autistic" = "you're challenging my assumptions and I feel weird therefore it's your fault."
The unrecognized cognitive dissonance is strong in some people. 🙄
Yes. This. Although I actually find being autistic means that I usually only talk about topics I know a LOT about and so if you have some knee jerk opinion on the topic based on a headline or two you read, I will happily correct you for an hour because I want to share all my knowledge. Which makes them feel attacked because now I've technically decimated their original position. And now I'm the a-hole. So that's more how I experience this. I actually don't get anyone coming right and saying I don't look autistic... Which I guess means I do.
Ypu don't look like a nice person
And this goes for every stereotype, ppl literally do the same thing with racism. My point is it's terrible and hopefully one day it happens less.
@@jclyntoledo including the lgbtq
I’ve always been scared to wear headphones in public even though it helps me tremendously. Seeing a well known actress wearing them AND making them look cute makes me much less anxious about wearing mine.
In what situations would you need them and therefore are afraid? Like, would you need them at work and aren't allowed, or with your kids if you have kids?
I'm asking bc I've always been a headphones girly who wears them everywhere and I think they are widely accepted as of now - especially lately with the bluetooth in-ears. And people don't know if you just have them with noise cancelling on or really listen the music. I also bought loops earprotection (look them up online) for when the earphones get too heavy on the crown of my head. I also use them in public spaces, cause they actually look cool and noone bothers you, BC they look like headphones. 😊
I really recommend looking up the loops earplugs. They are amazing and have different intensities and are actually quite affordable and a sustainable longterm option 😊 if you don't loose them lol
I'm not am affiliate or smth, I'm just really convinced 😊
@@violakarl6900so many people have recommended loops to me! the pubs i work at had a few saturdays with live music, and it was one of the only times i was allowed to wear my headphones behind the bar. im not diagnosed, but it’s something that i relate to so hard, especially with having a high needs younger brother, that i feel like it’s what fits. using the same advice given to most autistic people has actually saved me in my daily life.
@@violakarl6900I’ve looked into these for my autistic daughter but I’m worried they will be uncomfortable bc she has sensitive ears so she usually prefers over the ear ones. 😬
Earplugs are what I use, I haven't tried headphones yet to compare so I don't know which is better/worse. Loop earplugs are really good though, I have the Quiet model and it gets rid of a lot of the little sounds like the damn electricity AND the big sounds. I went to a concert with them for the first time and I could hear the people I was with talking in the middle of the crowd mid performance, it blew my mind 😅
As a Registered Behavioral Technician myself, I can 100% say we DO NOT have the power to diagnose autism or not. That would be a BCBA or a Doctor/psychologist. That person definitely should get fired if that’s what they’re doing
I mean technically in most places BCBAs cannot even diagnose, we can only do treatment plans so this is Willlllld.... And I do hope she was fired
I am an RBT and I have autism. I work with children because I know how it feels but also am not selfish enough to give misplaced diagnosis. It confuses me when people self diagnose or say to others "Oh you must have (insert any mental trend)". I feel some people get in to the field for the wrong reason. They want to feel like they are validated for their own personal reasons. It makes me angry for those who are in the field to actually help. Do I make sense?
I really don’t think BCBAs can diagnose…also fuck ABA
No one has the power or the responsibility to judge or diagnose anyone else on the internet regardless.
being autistic is hard but it isn't all doom and gloom. it's not glamorizing autism to express your joy
YESS! SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE FOLKS IN THE BACK
exactly, this world sucks ass, find and create joy where you can.
Like alot of things, its rooted in abelism. Since most saying this arent autistic, they cant possibly imagine finding joy in what they see as a condition or disorder. This goes for alot of differences/disabilities. Same reason why people say to those with amputations or prosthetics things like "im so sorry for you" when ita not needed or "youre so strong i wouldnt be able to go on if i was like you" they want these conditions gone because in a world made for them, its an outlier. This self loathing and pain can be present in nd people too, obviously in a world not made for us to be apart of it, its hard to be autistic sometimes. But thats different to feeling as if theres no joy for you yknow. I hope i was able to explain well
that's why I hate the "talking about mental illness in a not horrible way means you're glamorising!" rhetoric on social media is bullshit. Like you know a disorder can make you suffer but also have an upside to laugh about? Like I have DID and it's horrible in so many ways, wouldn't wish it on anyone BUT I'll definitely laugh about how one of my alters is super sarcastic and likes acting as if me and her have beef and making sarcastic snarky comments because it's her sense of humor or how another alter and my boyfriend get along so well and he hsas a GREAT time with her or whatnot. Doesn't negate the trauma, the suffering, confusion, anger, blahblah. 🤷🏼♀️ same for everything tbh.
ESPECIALLY AUTISM THAT'S NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS AND YOU CAN HAVE A GREAT LIFE AND BE AUTISTIC AND BE SO HAPPY AHHHH
We are allowed to be happy, too; joyful, even. And we don’t have to fit their narrow definition of autistic to be real.
I did not choose to be glamorous. Glamour chose me.
It definitely did!!! 🔥😂💛
Dang!🎉👏
exactly
relatable.
A good response to someone who says you don't look autistic, "oh. Well, that's funny, because you do." 😂
So, they're mad at Chloë for dressing 'quirky' but they're also mad at Paige because she looks 'normal' and 'preppy'? Someone make it make sense. 😵💫
Also, the person who was a child behavioral specialist has no background in autism diagnosis, so I don't know why they would feel qualified to speak on someone's diagnosis. I'm also sincerely curious what they think _the point of their own job even is_ if they expect an adult who has been seeing specialists *since they were 8* to act just the same as the 7 year olds they're currently working with. Like, so does the therapy work, or not?
I'm 2.5 mins in and I really hope we address how this is a result of misogyny and the sexualization of mental illness and normal human idiosyncrasies in women as "quirkiness" and "manic pixie dream girls"
I was thinking this as well. Like maybe people are thinking Autism is being "glamorized" because some of the actions/appearances/etc can look similar to the manic pixie dream girl archetype. Obviously, the only way that would happen is if one is intentionally seeking attention, not that people can just have preferences that don't conform to societal norms (/s).
@@erinc5138ironically this is exactly what a lot of Tik Tok creators do bc it's the version of autism that is very marketable to a large audience. Like we have to remember that Tik Tok is full of carefully curated personas that are meant to appeal to large amounts of people through edited and mostly scripted videos.
"They only share the good parts of autism"
... Like, has that person never been on social media before?
I'm not sure what autistic creators they're seeing if they think they're only showing the good parts. I'm afraid to go into the autism community on TikTok, but the CZcamsrs I follow share the challenges, but they also share some positive stuff too. I think that's important because autism or any other disability doesn't mean that your life has to just be one big marathon of suck your whole life. Personally I already know about the suck, so it's nice to see an autistic being happy.
respectfully have you? what level 3 tiktokers do you know that go viral every time for posting?
Yeah, and when you share the bad parts you're whining and EvRyBoDy DoEs ThAt 🤪
@@Brainjoy01 well, there are a lot of accounts made by Level 3's Parents that often exploit them, and that's an issue by itself...
As for those that go viral - well, they don't exactly control that 🤔
@@b666rchd5you can dance around it as much as you want but it doesn’t change the fact that autism is misrepresented and misunderstood thanks to TikTok and people only wanting to see the quirky cute parts of autism
id rather see someone "glamorizing" autism than someone recording someone else have a meltdown
Allistics capitalizing on autism being more acceptable than autistics "glamorizing" it totally make sense, but only in our absolutely screwed up timeline
without their conent you mean. it's wrong to suggest people don't show their high support adult children's darknest momments. because , saying such words is saying "some people need to be hidden". trust me on it. someone told me that is wrong. like autismwarriormama. we can't say mean things about those videos. suggesting her son not be on social media.
@kaiyodei of course without concent we are tired of seeing abusive videos being posted to punish the child or talking about them like they are animals. These people should not be hidden but without care and concent, it just puts them in danger
@@kaiyodeiWould you post your child's revenge porn online? No? Then don't post them in a mental health crisis.
@@kaiyodeiYou know, this has the same exact premise as revenge pr0n, but you don't see "autism moms" doing that... Because its illegal. You know, Posting someone's private and intimate moments online to punish them.
You nailed it with the scarcity mindset- ‘you’re taking (attention, sympathy, “resources”) from my child and there’s not enough to go around, you’re not worthy.’ There’s also a “virtue through suffering” thing in America, I don’t know the roots. But if you’re not suffering sufficiently for everyone’s satisfaction, you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and stop expecting help or sympathy. If I can’t visibly see and measure your suffering, you’re just making excuses.
You mean "martyr culture"?
@@SuperMonaLisaBros not sure exactly what you mean- it’s like an anti-martyr culture. You have to be a Righteous Victim, or you’re not worthy of compassion. Is that what you mean?
@@user-dm6jy5jr9o Yes. The sort of "you must suffer for your cause". A "holier than thou" mindset mixed with a victim complex.
@@SuperMonaLisaBros right- and it seems like the underlying issue is some of these moms feel like THEY are the martyrs (sacrificing all for their disabled child) and these level 1 ASD people are getting sympathy without having to suffer or sacrifice “enough.” I really don’t think it’s about taking away imaginary resources (in the US at least, ASD level 1 gets absolutely no help of any kind as long as you can work), it’s about the threat to their righteous identity.
Temporarily embarrassed millionaire mindset
the idea that happy stimming is glamorizing autism is so funny to me because shes being made fun of in the same way we all are when we stim 😂
On point! ❤
"they're glamorising autism" ...They're just putting makeup on. like? huh?
they are making themselves glamorous
Ikr so autistic people can't use makeup? I even put a tiny bit of blush on my nonverbal autistic therapy client. She loved it.
Reminds me of when Candace Owens complained that wheelchair bound person was in an ad for underwear.
@@tatiana4050 HUH?? god forbid wheelchair users need undies 💀
@@humanintelegence4695 I'm sure she is kind of person who would see any type of disabled person (autistic/amputee/down syndrome) putting on make up, and fancy clothes and posting on social media, and say they are glamourising their condition.
I think people assume autistic people need to suffer to truly be autistic
Yeah, we can be happy if they'd only let us, lol. I feel like I'm in one of those Victorian boarding schools with them.
24/7 suffering, apparently. My childhood was agonizing, but now that I've learned effective coping mechanisms and am in an environment where I feel relaxed and safe, I've either "outgrown" my autism or am misdiagnosing a rough childhood. 🙄
Yep. I can't help but think of the whole Bury Your Gays trope and the way society can only accept a so-called misfit if they suffer. It's still somehow connected to the idea of moral purity to not not be disabled or "devient" in any way. There are some really fucking deep wounds there and most people aren't even aware.
To the point where we internalise it. That's where the horror really starts - when not suffering triggers guilt and self doubt.
Most are, but they want and mean miserable all the fucking time with No ways to cope, No Moment of being at ease No happyness ever . . . Like wtf?!
the glamorizing --> feminising autism thought line was SUCH A GOOD POINT!! have not thought about that before but love that take
They're mad at her for being happy. They're calling her disrespectful for sharing that she's experiencing joy and also she is autistic. I'm sure she experiences those social difficulties, those meltdowns, but why the hell should she have to stew in that misery? She deserves to enjoy her happiness.
"how dare you be conventionally pretty and also disabled," basically.
yeah, people really do feel this way even if they don't say it out loud. especially about disabilities regarding the mental side of things. they almost have an identity crisis or something if you disclose your autism to them, like theyve never considered the possibility they could ever find someone "like you" attractive. it's really insulting to be honest.
No she just doesn't act like a person who struggles with autism. People who have those struggles don't want her speaking for them. I am a person who overcame autism. She no longer has autism. She clearly overcame it and no longer suffers from the traditional symptoms. This is what people are really saying.
@@LadyVandMrT are you trolling? You can't cure autism lol.
@@LadyVandMrTYou cannot “overcome” Autism. It is a neurotype, not a disease to be cured.
@@LadyVandMrTyou can not “overcome” autism it is a lifelong genetic disability.
What's wrong with making ear defenders cute? "Hey that person who decorates their wheelchair in cool rainbow colours shouldn't do that because some people need wheelchairs." LOL
Yeah, let US have our little Moments of happyness
@@SingingSealRiana For real. Just because *I* don't look cute in something doesn't mean no one can look cute in it. Another point is that if people 'making it cute' cause there to be more cute options for everyone else, where's the downside? It's like people complaining about gluten free being 'trendy' - who cares! It means more GF options for those who need it! Back in the 90s all there was was cardboard bread that turned into masonite when you toasted it. OK, I'll stop now lol.
I'm both autistic and a wheelchair user, and unfortunately people do get annoyed or even accuse wheelchair/mobility aid users of faking if we decorate them :/
but I agree that we should be able to decorate autism aids like ear defenders too! really any kind of disability aid we should be able to decorate or make cute or fun to be honest
Nothing, but according to ableists, we're not allowed pretty disability aids, they have to be plain and ugly because we shouldn't want nice things.
Hearing-aids can be whatever colours we want FFS. Why do they have to a boring beige?? Let me spark a bit of dopamine despite hating having to wear the thing day in day out.
The whole "they only show the good parts" always confuses me because like of course I'm not gonna film a meltdown and post it online. And if someone else filmed me having a meltdown I sure as heck wouldn't want THEM to post it.
If someone chooses to post their own meltdowns to show what it's like, that's their prerogative, but no one should be expected to do that.
Im so glad you talked about not all special interests being like…fnaf and train sets and shit. My special interests are literally skincare and haircare!
I love that for you!
yesss! I have ADHD and autism, and idk if that's why I have quite a few special interests, but I definitely do have a revolving door of long term intense special interests and skincare is one of them! My oldest beauty related special interest is definitely alternative fashion, that one's been around since I was at least 12. I've been into lolita fashion around 4 years now, I can tell you exactly which year exclusive dresses from my fav brands were released in, including if they were released multiple times and how you can tell which year yours is from based on the manufacturing differences and special colors that were only released in one shop in japan in 2011 lol.
Makeup is one of mine!
@@AliceBunny05YESSS alternative/kawaii/ lolita fashion is one of mine too! I haven’t seen anyone else w the same special interest!
i wish my special interest was skin and hair care 😮💨 maybe i’d be able to fix my face lol
I hate the "what about me" people on the Internet.
"Oh, your Autism makes you seem quirky, but that's not _my_ experience, so stop sharing _your_ experience." 🙄
Yeah, like "what about me?" Is a personal question they gotta find their own answer for in life.
Those "what about me" people should start sharing their experience then!!
"I'm miserable so everyone else has to be too."
to be fair people now think autism is a joke because of them so thats why... i have to let doctors know i was diagnosed before tiktok. that should give you context
@Brainjoy01 but that's not those people's fault, that's abelism talking. Sometimes they can be a bit more positive then negative, and if your really struggling that can feel annoying. But I think what they are doing is really good, I'd rather accept the fact I'm Autistic than hate myself for something I can't be ride of.
Imagine telling Stevie Wonder that he's "glorifying" blindness because he wears different styles of super cool sunglasses all the time. How unbelievably stupid that would be... yet here people are telling Chloe she can't accessorize with an object she was gonna have to wear anyway... to a place where she will have her picture taken over and over and over.. i swear... *people.* i mean seriously: wtf...
THIS! This exactly!
Fr
Believe it or not, there are people out there who think that Stevie Wonder is faking his blindness. In fact, blind people have to put up with many of the same hardships as autistic people that are mentioned in this video when it comes to their disability because blindness, like autism, is a spectrum. Many people who are medically diagnosed as blind do have some vision, but severely limited. There are even cases of people testing blind people by placing obstacles in their way in efforts to try to prove that they are lying. It's unbelievable the kinds of things people do to other people who have medical conditions that they don't understand and don't bother to educate themselves about.
As someone with severe internalized ableism (cerebral palsy), seeing positivity from the disabled community is honestly amazing for my mental health. Whenever I feel down, I can find people like me with uplifting stories. Seeing people making light fun of their struggles makes me feel less alone
Have you seen Tina Friml? She is amazing when it comes to talking about her disability 😊
Do they forget that our interest could be make up and fashion ?
I'm and artsy one , my face is like another canvas for me to paint !!
Omg that's 100% ME!!!! ❤❤❤❤
Same!
People say that fat people, trans/nonbinary people, chronically ill people, and ND people are "glamorizing" or "just want oppression points", but really, i think they just hate seeing marginalized people being happy. It doesn't match their perception that marginalization means suffering 24/7.
Legitimately the same ones who say “Stop complaining and victimizing yourself” in the next breath if someone is honest about their struggles. They just want to hate and criticize us in whichever way possible.
But I also see miserable autistic people jealous of happy autistic people; instead of feeling inspired and motivated they deal with it by trying to tear fellow auties down.
Also being afraid of what they dont understand/putting people in a box and if u dont fix that box or how they see a stereotype they claim fake or glamorizing it
And those same people are the same ones being like why are you always so negative
On our hard days
as a transsexual person there are def ppl faking being trans it’s very annoying and harmful to me. most of them spread misinformation about my condition and also end up reinforcing dumb gender stereotypes when they act like they wanna abolish gender (ie. i cut my hair so that makes me trans/this man wears a dress or likes feminine things so he must be trans, etc) i’m also somewhat gnc and sooooo many fakers mistake me for being the opposite gender but transsexual just because i like some stuff of the opposite gender and look androgynous or they shout “WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS” to only me in front of people who see me as cis and then it makes them suspect im trans/question me and it puts me on the spot which fcking sux. also sucks to be misgendered or told im an egg bc transfacers think im transitioning to my og sex. they also love to say “gender≠sex” and other weird bioessential isms when uhh that’s the opposite of true, i’ve changed my sex as well as the majority of other transsexuals so please don’t refer to me as my og sex when it doesn’t physically match most of my body thanks. the last thing transsexuals want is a fckton of cis people invading our spaces, oops, too late, all the cis transfacers invaded my (and many others’) safe spaces and say slurs and other transphobic shit to transsexual people then cry transphobia when they’re told off, as well as spreading misinformation and calling actual trans ppl bootlickers. i don’t think they realize most of us are liberal and want to be as far away from them (cis people) as possible. so idk whose boots they think we’re licking cause it’s def not theirs lmaoo
Thinking advocating for autism awareness is glamorization is a huge indication of this persons ableist beliefs.
are you referring to the person making the video or someone else? because she literally states she doesnt think that is glamorizing even before the 3 minute mark
@@kris_underrune the commentor dude with autistic friends
^THIS^ people need to be aware ableism is hurtful!
@@0verpricedcoffee553 ah okay thank you
@@mysmirandam.6618 internalized ableism as well? Because I'm currently dealing with extreme levels of it.
I was commenting to someone i knew since childhood that I was an ugly duckling as a kid, and ostracized for it, and they responded, "You were always really pretty to everyone, you were just incredibly weird, and it was easier for everyone to say it was your apperance, vs something they couldnt quite put their finger on." And it completely changed my whole perspective about my chilhood.
(This person wasnt saying it to be mean, I always ask for complete honesty, even if it might hurt my feelings and they were doing what i asked)
Whoa. Someone has said something just like that to me, too.
I am 21 and I uh can't really function. I'm so scared right now 😅 I can only manage to work 3 days a week otherwise I have constant meltdowns and those often include self owies. I don't have family that would support me. I'm on a waitlist for a diagnosis but it's a year wait. I'm currently in my bed with my one comfort snack (goldfish), at least 10 stuffed animals, my ds, a notebook, sound canceling headphones, and I'm still crying. But if you saw me at work I'm awesome at masking! You'd likely not know I struggle so much with EVERYTHING. I wish people would just take a few seconds to consider what people are hiding to protect their image. Good or bad. Nobody is inherently wanting to hurt each other. We're all trying to get by and some of us if not all of us need help from each other. Kindness is free.
❤❤❤
@@sakura3e3 💙
Holy, cow, "Nobody owes you their darkest moments" is a quote for the ages.
Holy cow😮
Being attractive looking while also misunderstanding people's intentions can also make you very vulnerable to manipulation and abuse.
Good point! Also people have so many preconceived notions about attractive people, and, when those notions aren't met, it's almost as if you are seen as even *more* "strange" than an "average" looking person with autism or whatever they picture someone with autism should be. I am conventionally attractive to my culture's standards and people think I am aloof and stone faced (which is fair imo). People who get to know me often say they thought I didn't like them. Would my general lack of emotional displays be so obvious if they didn't want my attention? Would they not label me as arrogant or stuck up if that wasn't a stereotype of good looking people?
I recently watch this video about "autism and pretty privilege" by Of Herbs and Altars and it really rocked me to think about it from that perspective. Even though I grew up bullied for being pale with acne, I was also the only femme person in cis male dominated spaces (mostly gaming) so comparatively I still had "pretty privilege," but all the problems with making friends and understanding people's motives and intentions that many other autistic people have. I really recommend it czcams.com/video/qOIrQ1m8p7o/video.html
THIS!! OMG THANK YOU
@spOOkytimes Yes! I tend to be overly chatty and friendly without seeing social cues easily... so I run into men thinking I'm interested when I was just being nice. I'm 39, so I've learned to not make eye contact or say hello unless a man initiates (then: BE CAREFUL!) or it is a woman. Simply being in a man's vicinity too long can signal interest. It is all so dumb and Animal Planet-y in a bad way that I've noticed I limit interactions more and more despite being a gregarious person.
We are already disliked within seconds once recognized as "different" unless the other person is ND in some way (or that rare person whose life experiences allows them to see different as a good thing potentially instead of it triggering a version of Uncanny Valley). Being a ND is hard, add being a woman with the risks and expectations that go with that, and then add being attractive even just a little with the risks and expectations that go with that... It's hard in a way that people don't get. any pretty privilege you get is outweighed by bullying and abuse. Dating... don't even get me started on how BAD dating NTs is since the only ones to stick around have cluster b issues from hell! Thank God for finding a ND guy!
@@elizabethlondon7754 I definitely agree. My partner is also ND and I think it's part of why we work so well together. We just get eachother's "unusual" tendencies, thought processes, communication, etc. I've gotten very good at masking but it feels nice to take the mask off.
I've always felt that my special interests and hyperfocus gives me easy access to a type of happiness that seems to be rare and fleeting for NTs. That upsets a certain type of people.
I think this comment just shifted my outlook on life for the better. I've never seen someone call out that "type of happiness" but I know exactly what you're talking about (the hand-flappy kind) and I've neglected it for years in a search for happiness towards what I'm "supposed" to be happy about.
There's a tendency for us to talk about how we struggle to feel feelings and recognize what our body is doing, but I know I'm very familiar with this one. I wonder if really we just experience very different feelings than NTs and keep trying to look for experiences that NTs have where we won't find them?
@@colbyboucher6391 I think you're right; far too many of us abandon our happiness to be "normal," especially when we're young.
When neurotypicals talk about true happiness, that sounds like what I would describe as being content. My happiness seems childlike in comparison, and it looks like neurotypicals lose the ability to feel that way as they grow up.
And thank you! Reading your post put a smile on my face. I'm glad my words resonated with you.
Thank you for this, I've been trying to put it into words for a while now and you just hit the nail right on the head.
I’ve met Chloe Hayden at an autism walk. She’s sweet and authentic.
It's quite telling when the amount of people telling autistic influencers: "You're doing bad awareness for people who actually have autism" AREN'T EVEN AUTISTIC THEMSELVES!
Yes you have to love the white knighters that believe that they know what is best for all different minorities and speak over people from that minority to do so.
Yes! It's highly likely that I'm autistic (as in, psychologist said I have symptoms and I spent hours of research into the topic because that's what I do) and meet what I've seen of the diagnostic criteria. Will I speak for the community? No. Will I educate others on what I know the autistic community prefers to help fight misinformation? Yes, but will note that I am not diagnosed autistic myself. Like if even I'm careful to not speak on behalf of the autistic community, these people shouldn't be speaking on behalf of the community at all.
Actually some of us with cr!ticisms of the ‘community’ actually fit all of your criteria for autism. Now what?
That's the typical double standard we've always been faced with: everyone seems to be allowed an opinion on autism except autistic people themselves.
@@mykittenisaferociousnugget I'm undiagnosed too, but Autism makes the most sense. I've been continuing to watch videos to inform myself, but I'm not an expect. I do wonder about some of my coworkers being on the spectrum, but I don't know for sure if they are.
Welcome to "Are the Neurotypicals alright?" episode 254.
😂 Yes, basically!
Sadly there are plenty of autistic guys who get like this too. They feel they have "real" autism and attack as a faker anyone they think is suffering enough. Mostly women because that group has a lot of crossover with incels.
Should be a sub like are the cis OK?
Are you a comedian? Because I would absolutely love to go to your shows! 😂
No they aren’t okay, but they never really are.
A large part of this I think comes down to “how can people be broken and happy when I’m normal and miserable. Those people should feel worse than me.”
After this girl last year found out that I have autism, she said that I couldn't be autistic "because you're not dumb". I didn't even know how to respond
Just shows her ignorance!
I feel that her reaction to seeing whales is the most appropriate reaction to seeing whales or any animal that is impressive
That's like saying "How dare you show your child with cancer playing with their toys and laughing! You are trivializing the disease!" No one ever says that. It's because it's mental vs. physical. People, for some reason, still struggle to take mental stuff seriously.
Thanks for this
@@daisysummer514 I think that it is because science knows so little about the brain so people fall back on old ideas that anything mental is made up.
Definitely big stigma with mental disabilities and illness.
But I think there's some other elements too:
Visible vs invisible. I have both mental and physical disabilities, but the physical is all invisible and poorly understood so similar issues about being dismissed.
Cancer is its own category I think, and I can't unpack it all here but here's a couple of points. Cancer is well understood and well funded. It is a potentially - hopefully- curable disease. People can have a "war or cancer" and looking for a cure is not problematic. Cancer support groups, sympathy for sufferers, people aren't scared of "catching cancer" from someone, etc. It's also the go-to terrible thing to randomly happen to someone
though if it was an adult with cancer showing just their happy moments maybe their diagnosis would be doubted too lol. you'd be surprised how much people also question physical disabilities
Like the brain isn't a part of the body, and that it doesn't control *everything* we will experience in our lives.
Because I am an etymology nerd, I can't resist pointing out that older definitions of _glamour_ don't refer to looking elegant or appealing. It literally means a mask or disguise! And masking is always a hot topic in the autism world. So _masking_ could be referred to as "adopting a glamour" of being more normal, convivial, casual, etc.
Ha! Excellent point. So perhaps many of us specialize in glamorizing autism then.
Or would it be "we need to stop glamorizing as neurotypical"? Either way this is cool to learn.
This reminds me of the Lunar Chronicles (Book series) where *glamour* was used to describe an illusion-type magic
@@c4tac133 Intriguing, who wrote this~?
this is super cool, thanks for sharing voltijuice
You really hit the nail on the head with this video. I'm a part of the Autism subreddit and regularly see posts like "Can we stop acting like level ones have it bad?" and talking about how level ones can't complain. They also complain heavily about the parents of children with autism and completely negate the struggles of being one. They lambasted a poor woman for having the gall to open up about her experience and how she is struggling to create a world for her son. They called her an abuser and said CPS needed to be called on her. All for saying her child's condition was really hard to handle. The subreddit is filled with people looking for an echo chamber and I regularly step in to remind them that it is a spectrum and they can't sit and bleat it if they don't mean it.
I felt 100x better when I got diagnosed. It was so refreshing to know that I’m different. It has helped me understand why I freak out easily when overwhelmed and over stimulated. And taught me how to do more research and accept myself as I am.
It feels like if someone afab talks about their autism, sometimes people don’t believe it because autism often means needing more support. And girls aren’t supposed to need support. They’re supposed to handle everything, because they’re “more mature” and “independent”- unless someone wants to control them.
"you can't be autistic because you don't need support. also how dare you need support and make any demands of me instead of making yourself as small and invisible as possible"
These comments are so real
Had not connected those dots before but it makes a lot of sense actually; it fits very well into the whole separation that was created for "female autism" because girls supposedly mask "instinctually", when in reality it has to do with the different expectations and limitations that society puts into girls growing up in comparison with boys. It is becoming blatantly obvious that people nowadays 9/10 go after afab creators for not fitting the autistic canon they have in their heads and I have yet to see the same level of energy directed at amab creators sharing their experiences (not that they do not experience ableism as well, obviously, just not this level of witch hunting for being "fakers'' and "bad representation" or whatever).
AFABs are often misdiagnosed or late diagnosed because of this mindset, it's like a feedback loop unfortunately
I mean in recent years it flipped and I think that is due to more men being recruited from the alt right, which is fustrating.
Im a 32 year old autistic man. Ive dated three autistic women. They were complete polar opposites.
One was extroverted and outgoing, not very sensitive to sensory overload (hyposensitive) and had special interests revolving around socialising.
The other was very introverted and socially isolated, and hypersensitive to sensory overload.
Both were fantastic women and the best relationships ive ever had.
Now im dating another extroverted autistic and ADHD woman.
Ive always felt happiest with neurodivergent women.
There is no one single expression of autism.
how can you be outgoing and autistic at the same time? was she rich and overpriveledged?
thank you for this comment
Thank you for this
This is quite lovely
we had an assembly about autism awarness and info today and evyones was saying they were trying to 'normalize autism' and they 'shouldnt have a whole assembly' UM wtf??
thanks for your vids they taught me a lot
i was into alternative fashion in high school because i knew people looked at me as weird so i felt really drawn to emo and scene fashion because people in those subcultures talked proudly about being weird. it just made me more comfortable wearing styles that were already seen as weird to give people a reason to see me as weird i guess
It's very in for a penny, in for a pound. many people who are already labeled weird by society or by others will figure that if they're always going to be considered a bit weird, why not lean into the things they like which are also weird. people will never see me as normal so why should I not accept and participate in things I like that also aren't seen as normal. there's no use in denying myself the "weird" things I like if people will see me as weird whether I embrace them or not.
I really wish autisms weren't in such short supply. I have waited forever to get an autism. The gatekeepers should just simply manufacture more so that we have a backup autism in case the first one gets shut down or confiscated or something. When I'm issued an autism, I'm totally getting insurance for it in case it is stolen.
Pandemic shortages, amiright? 🙃
@@misspatvandriverlady7555 Good thinking. That's probably it.
I blame the Evergiven jamming up the Suez. I've been waiting for my autism to arrive for *ages*!
@@Hexane88yes, I want to exchange my ableism for an autism so my ticktock get more likes, said no one ever. 😅
Pfizer needs to step up their game 😤 /s
People who get angry at somebody making their adaptive equipment look cute betray their real complaint: They think that disabled people exist to suffer, and are angry that some disabled people are able to find joy.
legit.
True. Another commentor compared it to decorating a wheel chair. I challenge these people to go up to someone in a wheelchair and say that their decorations are unacceptable. Edit: clarification
I'm not sure its that. I think its more an efficiency/utility thing. Its normal in protestant cultures to see utility as moral and ornament as immoral so the combination of ornament and utility is perverse to them.
Its a recent thing, walking sticks used to be decorated with a variety of handle styles and be beautiful varnished wood but now they're all these identical plastic and metal things so you're not even allowed to be old and dignified anymore.
Its a weird "well if you're treating it frivilously you don't need it and don't deserve respect" thing rooted in insecurity. Probably arising from how modern society doesn't respect anyone, able bodied people just get the illusion of having dignity to lose.
The other element is cute = childlike and to modern people children = a burden so its easy to resent cute things and think people trying to be cute are demanding something from you rather than self-motivated but that's probably closer to your point after the comma.
@@AC-dk4fp i wonder why it changed👀
@AC-dk4fp you've SO hit the nail on the head... I was in the Lake District recently and outside a cute 2nd hand shop seen a stand with so many beautiful ornate walking sticks all hand carved lovingly out of polished wood. Why is everything nowadays grey and generic?!
great video! it’s interesting to hear how misogyny plays a part in this discussion. it’s so stupid bc with this wave of autism acceptance has also come a wave of misinformation, which is what people SHOULD be mad about.
After a couple months of the algorithm providing your videos to me, this is your first video that im viewing. I did NOT expect you to share so many images of yourself! Maybe its typical for you but it (along with other editing choices) provided a really open and welcoming energy.
Me and my younger sister are both autistic but my sister fits the stereotype of the "5 year old nonverbal autistic nephew" so I went most of my life undiagnosed and was told that I "just didn't listen" 😭😭
Same I had my autistic brother so the comparison was right there :( he was 2 years younger and I just got ignored unless i overachieved or took care of my 3 younger siblings a lot..... im an RBT as well the difference is I just recently went through aba therapy training. It's changing theres new research popping up and different more effective ways redirecting maladaptive behaviors
aaah same !! My sister was diagnosed at 3 years old and Im only getting my traits recognised by my mum now ahah
Same but with an older brother. It was very obvious when he was a kid so he got diagnosed young, then my other brother with ADHD and i, as the youngest, was mostly left to be the ‘normal’ one because my parents were too busy dealing with my older brothers. I was only diagnosed at 17, which is young in comparison to some, but a little shocking considering my parents had looked after another autistic child for longer than me. I just hid it better because i was expected to be normal, but its likely that my parents are ADHD and on the spectrum respectively so they’ve struggled with their own issues too. Funny how it all works out
Same with me and my older brother! Neither of us got diagnosed back then but he got all the attention because he had behavioral problems, was aggressive towards class mates, combative with teachers, extremely rude and stubborn etc. I was pretty much the polar opposite - extremely compliant, people-pleasing, overachieving, so everybody was like "she's fine, she doesn't need anything". Ironically, my brother ended up with much better mental health in the long run because he never gave a poop what anyone else thought of him and he just followed his interests; when I got diagnosed at 34 I barely knew who I was and had to start building self esteem from nothing.
My younger sister might have autism, and in general needs much more assistance and has meltdowns often. As a result, I’m undiagnosed and will probably stay that way until I’m an adult.
I think they are projecting. They are shocked they could be ATTRACTED to an AUTISTIC PERSON and cognitive dissonance takes over, they reject the idea that pretty young women can have extreme struggles they have never seen and do not understand the reality of. Thank you for talking about this!
but wait, the whole stereotypical high school structure says that autistic people should fall into the “undesirable nerds, geeks, and freaks” categories. I can’t comprehend that someone with autism could be sorted into the “cool kids caste”. I find this unconscionable. I mean, autism is such a blight on other people’s lives that we need to actively push it out so we don’t have to deal with it (at least that’s what the popular kids say). So clearly something must be wrong here since I’m attracted to that which we should be pushing away. I mean, obviously I should inherently have the “appropriate response” towards autism, therefore *_I_* can’t be what’s wrong about this situation. I’m not immediately aggressively repulsed by it, so they must be faking. My “autism-realness radar” sends me into fits of exclusionary violence. So you’re wrong, not me, you.
"Ooooh but ewwwww. You're pretty but such a kid. Stop that."
On the plus side we know they're not a, uh.... ~ahem~ pedalo? XD (Yes I know it's incorrect, quoting Inside No9, but it gets around the robot.)
Thank you ❤
So much kindness LOL love u guys
I've seen the term "Aspie Tradwife" coming up lately. 🤔
Very insightful take on "glamorizing". You are right, men don't get accused of glamorizing anything.
I was recently diagnosed and am still on a full diagnosis journey with autism, but finding your account has helped me realize so much and been so helpful. When you said that becoming obsessed with things like working out and doing makeup as a form of masking to appear 'not autistic' I almost started crying...I have been doing that for so long. It lead to a lot of disordered eating and rearranging my schedule completely to be able to go to the gym or do my hair. I'm realizing now, as I've gained a bit of weight during my diagnosis journey, I am finally allowing myself to relax those thoughts and it's scary but also very freeing. I have so much more time for hobbies and reading now. Thank you for this video
take a drink for every time someone compares an autistic adult to an autistic child as a "gotcha"
That will cause death
i'd rather not die, thanks
@@maroonai a drink doesn't have to be alcohol though
@@lilysnape6520 yeah ig instead of alcohol poisoning you could just hydrate yourself well lol
Water toxicity is still a thing
You're like the internet's anti-bully. I really admire how respectful and logical you handle people that don't share your opinion.
Boosting this comment
I haven’t had the same experience from her followers. They’re still dog piling me for a comment I made and stop replying to a month ago. 😂
agreed, she is so kind and handles situations very good!
@@bluecannibaleyessus
@@bluecannibaleyes And I wonder what that comment must have been..? 🤔
People will never grasp the concept of how we’re not all the same and that is all their prejudices of how they think we should be
I just wanted to say that your content is always extremely well done with impressively high production value. Idk if you do the editing yourself, but whoever does has an eye for detail & quality. I always look forward to seeing what B roll footage you’ll insert , of yourself and others doing/wearing/acting out/etc whatever topic you’re discussing in that moment. I’ve learned a lot of practical & applicable info from your channel/content bc despite not having autism, there’s a ton of overlap with what I experience having ADHD & PTSD. You’re doing great & important work that shouldn’t BE necessary, but bc it IS, you’re providing an invaluable resource,
especially for younger people on the neurodivergent spectrum…bc these conversations become the actual bridges between societal standards (created & upheld by neurotypical patriarchy) and (the many people people participating IN) society. You are literally closing the gaps, by fighting stereotypes & dispelling myths. We can’t make changes while ignoring the problem. Thank you for sharing your voice, your story & your experiences with us❤
Autistic Person: Has one positive interaction and am happy.
Random Commentator: You are glamorizing your autism.
Autistic Person: I am just showing that I am happy despite my struggles of autism.
Random Commentator: But you are acting like autism is a cute thing because I know an autistic person thats no doing well. You are glamorizing stuff.
Autistic Person: That doesn't even make sense autism is a disability you are acting like I am recruiting people for autism but I just want to share positive stuff.
Random Commentator: But I don't like that.
Literally what these commentors are saying. They are getting mad at neurodivergent people wanting to live a happy life and sharing happyness.
This is perfect
It literally feels like they're just trying to drag others down. It's like they're saying I suffer from it so you should suffer with it too, you can't find any good in the bad.
What's even worse is the amount of people in my town alone, let alone the entire world, think that ND people and mentally ill alike should be limited in what they should spend financially. To them, they shouldn't be buying pop, fast food, vanity items, or anything that isn't just plain foods and water. No smoking weed (even if that's your genuine medication recommended to you), no alcohol, just a boring miserable life. That mindset has always irked me to no end. If I don't walk away from someone that talks like that, I will curse them out anymore.
Don't argue with these people, just reply with, "cope, seethe, mald."
Rp: ypu shpuld be wearing a helmet and drooling like my cousins, friends, doctors son
you know, as an autistic person who has a bit more support needs than many others, i hate when people pit autistic people against each other. i have lots of struggles when it comes to my autism and need help with lots of things, yet i don't mind people being happy with their autism (i have autism pride myself, even)
Your name is a wild ride. I love your response, though
I wish everyone would be like you in this regard.
@@franki1990 and the pfp! Beautiful 😭
Thank you for making these videos- please keep doing what you're doing, Meg. I went on a social media platform to ask for advice after a meltdown in the workplace after being harassed and unfortunately it got a lot of negative attention and a lot of trolls really leaned in to tearing me down and making fun of me. Even though it was anonymous, it was enough for me to delete my account because I was already in a bad mental space and was looking for advice/support, but was unable to handle the attacks and bullying. It takes a certain kind of person like you who can go online and speak truth about autism, both the positive parts of our lives and the struggles we face, and in doing so unfortunately open yourself up to personal attacks. Please keep doing what you're doing because it has brought me and so many others a sense of mutual understanding, support and also much needed humor and lightheartedness when things are really difficult.
The one article claiming "People who can't speak up for themselves" is such a telling phrase. Why is it every time someone has an autistic child their first move is to say their child couldn't possibly advocate for themselves.
because autism speaks exists and it is a bad organisation with a lot of power
Good point, Meg. Autism is not a competition where we try to "outautistic" each other.
Speak for yourself, I for one have won two gold medals in Autisming in the Olympic Games
(joke)
It is a competition. I actually won regionals last week by doing 2 more autisms than the rest of competitors. Wild.
😂 Also, in my experience "we" aren't trying to out-autistic each other. The NTs are trying to get us to race...maybe they want to place bets or some such?
So, there's casual autism and ranked competitive autism? This opens up new opportunities for us autistics like scholarships and national leagues! 😀 👍
@@quinn0517I don't know, it seems like that sometimes though..!
"Nobody owes you their darkest moments"seriously resonated with me
that is why so many want to be "plural"
Thank you for the effort you put into consistently creating content and discussing things with grace. I feel seen during difficult times.
This channel is incredible, these essays are top tier. Will join the pates rn.
When I entered public school in the late 70s, I was...
1. Hyperlexic & doing calculus problems for fun
2. Placed in the EMR classroom / labeled the R-word
3. Given a cruel nickname for my hand-flapping
4. Relentlessly bullied & patently disinterested in socializing with peers
5. Multilingual
6. Phobic of dogs, crowds, being touched & various other random things that terrified me but rarely bothered others
7. Extremely sensitive to smells, sounds & sensory assaults that no one else seemed to notice
8. Called a tomboy, in spite of my hyperfixation on dance & tendency to wear girls' leotards 24/7
9. Synesthetic to the point that the (wrong, to my brain) colors of the alphabet on the classroom walls irked me
10. Perfectionist & desperately afraid of making ANY mistakes, but hopelessly inept in social settings
Just 2 years later, I was placed in the gifted program. In the same school where I'd been labeled low-IQ.
I've never been able to pass for NT, but I've also never been formally recognized as ND, a situation that I strongly suspect is far more common among others of my generation than anyone wants to believe.
I'm glad to see younger people advocating for themselves & having a level of self-awareness that enables them to identify & embrace neurodiversity in all its various manifestations.
I was in a remedial English class of 2 whilst also having the highest maths score out of 250 pupils.
I was exclusively identified as gifted as a kid. I was diagnosed ADHD-PI at 22 and am currently working on an autism diagnosis while sorting out that I’m really quite autistic, but it’s been partially accommodated by my intelligence. I recently remembered my father telling me to stop doing things because I looked “like a spaz”; probably obvious stimming; but I COULDN’T have been identified autistic, or even “Aspie”, because of the lack of a clear speech delay! 🤦♀️
What are your opinions on formal recognition of ND people who are managing to do well in school, academically and socially?
Like, imagine a kid who has learned to mask well and practiced a musical special interest enough to become very popular in school, who also shows clear signs of AuDHD - what advice might you give to their patients?
Back then autistic people were locked up
Im an 80s child. I was considered possessed by my kindy teacher, but my behaviour was always blamed on my mother (despite my older sister being a "very good girl") at best I got a "hyperactive" diagnosis. But often, my rages weren't taken seriously because I was too cute. So I learned to lean into the cute. I figured out how to get away with existing under the surface. It's so wonderful seeing people being exactly themselves now. It just brings me so much hope for the future.
I'm not even 5 minutes in, but that chick who works with autistic kids 7 & under really thought that made her an expert in adult autism? like for real? I hope she lost her job and that wasn't just a rumor
right??? like- expecting autsitic adults to act like the autistic children you see everyday is stupid
I'm an RBT and KNOW a ton of adults on the spectrum and I would NEVER even think of diagnosing anyone besides my self let alone someone i never met in a 3 minute video!!!
@mysmirandam.6618 I’m surprised an allistic RBT would even be interested in content like Meg’s, considering she’s extremely neuropositive and your industry is the equivalent of conversion therapy for Autistics.
She said she's an RBT, so that means she's ABA, unless there's a different kind of RBT that works with autistic kids. I've heard there are some good ABA people out there, but judging only by that rant she went on, I'd be wary of sending any of my family members to her.
-You're an ABA therapist, or is there any other kind of RBT who doesn't do ABA?
This is the first video of yours I’ve seen, and I’ve subscribed! This was an excellent discussion of the varied experiences of autistic women. I’m not on TickTock so I don’t know any of these creators, but I’m tempted to download it just to follow and support these creators ❤. I’m 53 and wasn’t diagnosed until I was 49. I’m disabled and have been fighting to get on disability for three years (I’m American). So much of my life has become clearer to me since my diagnosis, and I love to discover channels like yours to help me understand my own experiences. I look forward to catching up on your content. Take care.
I had a hard enough time explaining to people about my autism years before this trend. Now more than ever I don't want to tell any one. I don't ever use my diagnosis as an excuse but when people understand it does help. It's hard to interact socially and having to mask even more is exhausting. I don't want to have to constantly be someone I am not. It isn't quirky. It isn't something to use to infantize me and call me "cute". I don't know how I feel. People react two ways. Like the "Awww good for you" as if my high functioning is enduring or they don't believe me. It feels so lonely all the time. I don't have any other autistic friends and I don't really want to make any. The social media craze of having "adhd" "Bipolar" "autisim" etc really is invalidating people who have actual diagnosis and symptoms. There are many online that act the part and it hurts those who really are autistic. This is a long rant. Sorry. I am done.
“Omg I can’t believe that these influencers are glamorizing autism and ignoring the ppl who REALLY suffer with autism!!”
*influencer talks about how they struggle with autism*
“BOO HOO! YOU’RE NOTHING LIKE MY NEPHEW’S FRIEND WITH AUTISM!! STOP CLAIMING THE AUTISM LABEL FOR OPPRESSION POINTS!!”
I’m thirty two, I was diagnosed like five years ago, there is ZERO help in my area for autistic adults unless you live in a home with people who need more services than I do. So I don’t understand the people saying we’re “taking services from others”. I’m frustrated I can’t get any help at all.
This is common.
I've had this on my feed for a few days, and decided to watch it, because I took inspiration from Chloe Hayden's hairstyle on the vid cover art- gave myself bangs, and put my hair up in messy pigtails. It changed my whole self outlook, with a simple snip to make bangs, so thanks Chloe- I feel cute now! I had an autism assessment over 20 years ago, but was told I wasn't autistic because of the hitchhiking I had done for many years off and on. Noone asked me why I did that hitchhiking, that it was self preservation, the fact I had a hard time getting and maintaining jobs, would feel a need to leave to another town because I had overstayed my welcome and people no longer wanted to deal with me and my plethora of issues. Instead, I was slapped with the label of schizotypal, because in order to cope, I had shielded myself with an intense fantasy world. I was told to take anti psychotics, anti depressants, and anti anxiety meds, for which I did not take, and so glad I had that insight. I felt utterly unsupported, though a few years later, that diagnosis did give me a disability pension, which saved my life, even if it also traps me. I'm currently seeking reassessment, and hope that can happen, because it would explain, well, everything. Anyone who sees me, knows I'm not neurotypical, I did get an ADHD diagnosis 2 years ago, thankfully, but I know it's far more than just ADHD.. Folks with autism Have to mask and control themselves in some way. Meltdowns are not socially acceptable! And who on social media wants the whole world to see how much struggle they go through in a day or moment by moment basis? I certainly don't.. Whoever sees my social media offerings, they'll see this quirky odd person that dresses in bright clothing, much of which is vintage Little Mermaid sweaters, and showing off my found rocks and glass shards, along with piles of equally colourful art projects! Noone would know I think of unaliving myself every single day of my life. Noone would want to know that. Suggesting influencers should share more tangible evidence of the hard-core struggles is ridiculous. Let's celebrate being different, while also rejoicing in what connects us all. And funding and support for anyone with disabilities should be a right, no matter the disability, no matter the person or demographic, not something one has to fight tooth and nail for, or not have access to. Many of us have hidden disabilities. People have criticized me being on a pension, like I'm too lazy to work, because they don't see what's wrong with me. Anyone who truly knows me, knows I'm not lazy.. Sorry for the rant
I am not autistic, but I have ADHD and it has SEVERELY AFFECTED my entire life.
I had many different diagnoses and medications and treatment and nothing ever helped, nothing ever changed.
I was referred to a highly experienced psychiatrist who spent time talking with me, asking about my life, and ultimately decided to test me for ADHD. Even just answering the questions I began to cry, feeling understood for the first time in my entire life.
I was diagnosed 5 years ago and have been receiving treatment and also re-organising my life to make it work for me. I have literally never been happier or more fulfilled.
I obviously struggle with things but now i understand, and i know what to do to help.
I hate when people think I am not "really" suffering these things (ask my family and friends how much they love seeing all of the incredible, positive changes in my life, internally and externally, since!)
Everybody experiences things differently, everybody presents differently, lets love and trust each other and support each other. Judgement and gatekeeping never healed anybody.
that "what does autism look like?" "it looks like my 5yo autistic son" video made me laugh out loud, that is so on point 😂
Because of how much of a struggle being autistic can be, I've dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression most of my life. I've had to fight really hard for the happiness and the positive attitude that I have today. It makes me sad that others would think I'm "glamorizing autism" or faking it just because I experience joy. The joy that I worked so hard for.
I feel you, I'm not yet at the joy stage of it, but I am trying very hard to get there. I don't want to hate myself for something I can't control. Sad people can't see that aspect of it.
Same here. Before I knew I was autistic, I was convinced I was born defective with some unknown mental disorder that caused me to be a burden to everyone around me and cause them severe pain without even being aware of it. I thought for a long time that the only way I could actually provide anything of value and joy to the lives of my loved ones was to take my own life to ease their suffering. The only reason I am still alive today because I finally met other autistic people and they always loved me for who I was, even at my worst moments.
I worked EXTREMELY hard to get where I am today and I deserve to enjoy life.
"the joy that I worked so hard for" that made me tear up, I feel that so hard
This comment made me realise that an underlying belief that a lot of this criticism some coming from is that you’re not allowed to be autistic and happy 😮
I am not sure why exactly, but it does seem like a lot of people are coming from that as their underlying belief or framework
I’m so relieved to see someone experience that as an autistic person. That may sound weird but I’ve felt this exact same way. Why can’t I be autistic and happy?! People see disabled people as constantly suffering… but no, it’s just how our brain works. Yea it can be debilitating but that honestly comes from people who treat us like the ableists shown in the video. I’d suffer less if autism wasn’t looked down upon. It’s ironic, isn’t it, that allistics can’t understand that autism isnt all “black and white”. It literally just is. We wouldn’t be us without it. People think of autism as just a list of problems…. When in reality having an autistic brain has its issues but it isn’t a problem itself.
I clicked on this video wanting to understand the other side of this and you actually have changed my mind! thank you for explaining things the way you do.😊
This is so like my experience as a autistic woman. People either think im childish or just weird. I wish people would just understand that autism is a spectrum.
It's just another classic case of "I don't like when autistic people blend into society and express joy because it makes it harder for me to ostracize and belittle them."
.
My autism has made me miserable for more than half my life. I almost took my own life because I felt like my suffering was inescapable. I would not be here today if I ignored the positives to constantly wallow in the negatives. I deserve to feel happy in my autistic brain. I'm tired of suffering and hating myself. I'm ready to enjoy life and love my autistic self.
I think a lot of us are more bitter that autistic traits are only acceptable when the person that has them is attractive. So seeing attractive people try to normalize these behaviors feels insulting because autistic traits just look “quirky” on attractive people while unattractive people get bullied for having them. God forbid you are autistic and fat, POC, visibly disabled or otherwise don’t fit into conventional beauty standards
I’ve also felt this way most of my life. I’m glad you’re still here though. You deserve to live just as much as the next guy! ❤ Autism is hard but it’s not always bad. We all deserve love and support, I hope you get nothing but joy and prosperity in your future (and present)❤
We’ll get there one day ❤ as for now let’s involve ourselves with the people we know understand :)
@@yeehawneehaw5215It definitely varies though. not everyone who is attractive will cross paths with people who think their autistic traits are more acceptable because they're attractive. I'm usually judged harder than my other autistic friends irl who don't put as much effort into their appearance or aren't as "conventionally attractive" because the people around me and that I usually run into are caught more off guard when I display obvious traits. 80% of the time people won't believe me if I disclose because they don't think autistic ppl cant be that pretty, and then 15% will gripe that "you're such a pretty girl, you'd be so much better off if you didn't act.. that way". the remaining 5% are completely chill. I completely understand that your complaints are valid and there definitely are people who are more accepting of autistic traits when they're portrayed by someone attractive, and that's really shitty. I just mean to say that not all of us get that end of the stick even when we are pretty.
As someone who was recently diagnosed with autism and adhd I would change a lot of things about my brain like it being extremely hard to make friends, more easily overstimulated and being very forgetful but honestly I feel like in a lot of ways a lot of my autistic traits are good things to have.
Cheers to embracing your wonderfully unique self! 🎉
I feel this I have recently started having negative reactions and side effects to ADHD medication. I’ve been taking which is not the one I was supposed to be on. We haven’t been able to get the one I’m supposed to be on since Covid because of the shortage so for a while now I’ve just been switching medications and the one I’ve been on for the past year or so has these side effects that I have now starting to experience including panic attacks in the middle of the night. About a week ago I was crying because of this and wishing I could “fix” my brain so I would no longer need the medication that was causing this and I just felt absolutely horrible about myself and what I could not do due to my disability. It really sucks.
As someone who was diagnosed with autism a while ago, overstimulation and difficulty making friends are often due to societal norms (and in some cases official policies) that that weren't created with autistic brains and needs in mind. These rules and public opinion don't have to stay this way and seeking out / reaching out to neurodivergent / autistic people who will be able to empathize and respect your needs will probably help in the meantime but I don't know your specific situation.
same. the social struggles are the hardest part for me, but i also like being super passionate about my interests and being unique in my own way
I couldn't bring myself to watch this video for many days because i thought it would be like the title, that you actually thought people are glamorizing autism. But it wasn't and I love the video!! People don't know how different autistic people are and no one autistic person is exactly like another, like all people. Thanks for your great content!!
22 year old woman who just got diagnosed with ASD here! Life before my diagnosis was very confusing and life felt hopeless at times, but since educating myself and learning more about my disability, it has helped me immensely to navigate life. That being said, finding a content creator who is around my age AND A WOMAN who makes content about this stuff if really validating and makes me feel seen and heard. I appreciate you. Have a wonderful day.
What I hear whane people say someone is glamourizing any mental illness/condition is : "you're seeking well-being and happiness and thriving and sharing that with other when you're supposed to struggle and hate your life and not achive anything, this is not okay"
and this is disgusting
I wonder whether it would be considered a symptom of a mental illness in itself? What else might provoke someone to be upset about another person's happiness? Do they think autism should always be a visible struggle or just constant difficulty in general?
Maybe they're jealous that other people are capable of accepting themselves?
@@skachor I don't think it would be a symptom of illness to not be accepting. They just can't think people can struggle more than average and still be happy sometimes. They can't see that accomodated disability mean kinda less disabeled, too, or more healthy and happy at least. I also think they can't see disabeled people as whole people, who have a life, emotions, coping mecanisms, things they like and dislike outside of their disabilities, people they like, love and who love them back, desires and aspirations and so on
@loikira5841 I mean more the animosity that comes with it. Although, in some sense I see a connection between understanding/accepting and the emotional reaction. If they truly understood and accepted, they'd be more empathetic, yet in hostility I can't see any reasonable explanation but jealousy.
Yeah, it's pretty messed up when people say that. I think the only time it can be argued that a disability or disorder is being glamorized is when the media portrays something without proper education rather than individuals sharing their stories. Specifically OCD comes to mind for this since it's frequently portrayed as little "quirky" things most people do rather than something that causes great distress without proper management/treatment
And yet when people do struggle it's "everyone struggles just pull yourself back by your bootstraps and get the he11 over it!" Can't win with people that refuse to listen.
Soo basically what they're saying is "you're happy with yourself = you cant be autistic cus autism=unhappy n endless suffering"
Why are people mad that the creators only show their good side, why do u feel that they're obligated to show u their vulnerable side, maybe they don't want to, they don't feel comfortable sharing their most vulnerable moments on the Internet for anyone to judge and comment on it, whatever their reason might be you cannot hate someone for just sharing whatever they want to share with the world, everyone is obligated to hide what they want to and they shouldn't be judged for it.
This!!! It’s the Autism $peaks mentality. “Being autistic is a tragedy that ruins the lives of the autistic person and everyone around them. Therefore, you cannot possibly be autistic because you have experienced joy/success/beauty/positive relationships/anything else positive.”
I mean, everyone has whatever feelings they have, but criticizing people for being happy does seem like a behavior people might want to examine in themselves! 🤔
That's actually a point I didn't even think of. It never crossed my mind that some of these creators may be uncomfortable sharing a very vulnerable side of them. Or they may feel it could affect their real life, or that it may not be safe to do so. Or even that they are trying to stay positive themselves and that's why they lean more positive. No one's obligated to show a venerable side of them to prove they struggle. Thank you for this comment.
Hey, I really appreciated this video. I’m not autistic, I have ADHD, and the social backlash you describe is extremely similar. Thank you for putting this out there. It is immeasurably awesome to see how alike we are.
They're talking about level 3. You don't look level 3 which is what autism is represented in mainstream
What irritates me is those people who are talking about “glamorizing “ autism are just irritating because they don’t realize that for a long time only people with the “look” or a severe set of symptoms were diagnosed and taken seriously while everyone else was misdiagnosed or brushed aside. The diagnosis comes with multiple categories and with a list of symptoms under each. You don’t have to have them all and they can be at different levels of severity so just sit and try to contemplate the massive unimaginable number of different combinations and step back and realize you know the name of the diagnosis you barely understand it.
She was expressing utter joy. Why does that bother everyone so much? Be happy for her and move on.
They think autistic people can't experience moments of joy and that we're supposed to be suffering 24/7.
It was for WHALES. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE WHALES???? THEY'RE COOL!!!
If you don't work on a boat or oil rig, not very often I assume XD
Dude, Truth. I'm loving your content my dear. Oh how you are on the nail every time lol.
Oof, I came here to be pissed because of the title. Now I'm very thankful for you and your comment section, needed this. ❤
The worse are the "experts" going around saying that autism numbers had gone up because of our diet. Like autism is something we can contract or develop like diabetes or HPV. Not more accessible of diagnosis or normalcy that autismis an spectrum. Are there more male autistic or less females getting accessed?
Can you link the study?@@Sarah-with-an-H
"Are there more male autistic or less females getting accessed[sic]?" this is a false dichotomy. Both can be true and there is empirical evidence to support both.
Drop the title off the study and the name of the first author and people will be able to easily search it
@@Sarah-with-an-H I agree 100% gluten and sugar definitely affects me a lot. I meant they actually saying that the child wasn't autistic at all and because of food it develop autism. Some were doctors and some were doctors interviewing scientists to justify to their pount of view.
I should probably finish watching before I comment. But goodness, I struggle to understand the whole “your struggles don’t look exactly like my struggles, so you must have it easier and aren’t deserving of a diagnosis.”
which is such a wild thing to think, especially about autism considering it's literally called autism SPECTRUM disorder and the diagnostic criteria only outlines a handful of different things that all autistic ppl need to have relatively in common. and those things still often look a little different between people. the rest is completely individual experience and is different for everyone. not everyone who's autistic will have so much trouble with black & white thinking and perfectionism like me. I do have some general rigidity but not nearly as much as some other autistic people. I am more sensory seeking than avoidant on average and I don't super frequently have meltdowns or shutdowns over sensory sensitivities, only occasionally and usually in costco because for some reason their checkout area is hell on earth without proper ear protection.
Just wanted to say I love your content. Thank you for making it 🖤
1. Some 'health' professionals, like some professionals in other disciplines, can be extremely opinionated and stubborn (inflexible) to the point of being open to new concepts that may run contrary to what they have spent the time and money to be accredited.
2. You're too beautiful to be autistic.
a) Inferring, you're too ugly not to be autistic
b) While beauty is in the eye of the beholder, autism is in the brain of the autistic person
c) the age old belief that correlates physical and mental health with physical 'perfection'. As Johhny Rivers wrote in the song 'Secret Agent Man': A pretty face can hide an evil mind.
Thank you for posting your reaction. ❤
After I got my apartment the property manager said I can’t be autistic because I’m not like her 8 yo nephew… and that she didn’t think I was as disabled as her because she has fibromyalgia. I have nerve damage that makes me unable to sit down.
Some people are just absolute idiots.
I’ve never been told “you don’t look autistic,” but I think that’s just because I’m a white boy.
I’ve never been told that either, and I think it’s because I can’t mask. :’)
@@thediscodevil0949 I've never been told that, and I think it's because I can mask!
Nah that's just because they think you don't look 'disabled'. Whatever that means.
Closest I've been was by my uncle, I probably should have said - "that's only because you are too"
That entire side of the family is very neurodivergent (and actually the other side of my family too but the other side of the family is poor so their traits don't hit all of the stereotypical tropes).
Ohhh wait someone did say "But there's nothing wrong with you" and I said "yes".
I just don't understand how someone can see genuine joy in a person, regardless of who they are or how they present themselves to the world, and move to snuff it out. There is little enough of it around these days that it feels like just the fact that people are kind enough to share it with us is a kindness. I hope everyone has the day they deserve.
Thank you so so much for this. I couldn’t answer the poll because I’ve never been brave enough to tell anyone.
People with other disabilities get the same crap comments on social media. There is a CZcamsr with pinpoint vision (nearly completely blind) AND a completely blind CZcamsr that constantly get told they must not be vision impaired because they don’t act blind. They have guide dogs. They talk about their “blind-person moments” (thinking your outfit looks a certain way and realizing it’s completely different from what you meant to put together). I’m sorry, are these people expecting constant footage of them running into walls, completely unadapted or unacclimated to their own homes, or what would it take?
GOD FORBID SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY ISN’T LIVING IN A CONSTANT STATE OF MISERY.
I LOVE it when disabled content creators glamorize their lives or show joy. It shows other people with disabilities that that is something they can find in their lives, too.
Are you talking about Paul from Paul and Matthew?
@@romyjane17 yeah, and Molly Burke
If you aren't in a constant state of confusion and chaos, then are you truly blind? /s
if you have a disability...their is no such thing as joy or happiness. Autism = pain and suffering. only 1% can adapt properly....usually rich and overpriveledged....or giving excessive support. its unrealistic and hurts those that actually have a disability.
I was just googling if you can reheat halloumi and I accidentally wrote ‘can you reheat autism?’ 😂
Oops. I would love to see what Google did with that.
You can reheat autism but I recommend an oven or toaster, as the microwave can make it a bit soggy
@@jacwest7406😂😂😂
Is autism an instrument?
This was brilliant. So well said and I loved your presentation of it too. :)