How to tell if someone TRULY likes you or they're just being NICE
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- čas přidán 22. 04. 2024
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I feel like nothing ever happens if I'm not initiating.
Apparently I'm not for anyone either 😎
Don't take it personally my friend. You never know what's going on with them. At the same time, match their energy
real 😓
Same here, I seem to have to initiate.... even after I have stopped doing so...
You mfers imitiating all the time and failing all of your relationships? Btw, im a man and i will never initiate. No first move.
No one is so busy that they have no time for you. If they like you, they will make time.
Absolutely true.
Yes. We should discern whether we matter or not to the other person to move forward.
Unless they have kids, work a full time job and have other commitments lmao
@@ephemera5714 Yeah, I just thought of my brother who is a father of a bunch of kids, one being special needs. He's always busy. He's not mean or dismissive, he's just really that busy. Whatever free time he has he spends with his family.
@ephemera5714 : OH bullshit so they NEVER get laid? You rode the short bus to school didn't you?
If a person likes you, they will put in effort & make it easy & it’ll feel natural
For 25 years of my life no one has done that, I mean also friends, not just romantic partners, I'm considered pretty by some people, I definitely know I'm not ugly, I'm empathetic, I have my values, I don't know what it is that pushes people away. But I prefer to think that my people will eventually find me and for now, God is protecting me from not so good people (i think they are this and that, but maybe they are not any of those things). My problem is I attach to people without them wanting it, or without even knowing who they are and then I see their true colors and I'm disappointed. But nonetheless they are never scared of losing me, they never fight for me, I'm the only one chasing and fighting for people, but not anymore, I am done, I will choose me now.
@@user-zs6gh1xk5f I didn't use to fight for people at all. I was scared of being dependent. I never wanted anyone to attach to me. I often felt guilty about rejecting some meetings so I was rescheduling ouf of gulit, shame or fear. If people didn't have any mental issues, the video would be mostly true. Personally, I think that most people have some kind of issues, so it's never black and white. Good for you for focusing on yourself though. When I started doing it, well first I learned how much I was not okay and how much it was affecting my life that I've been hiding it for years. And that what I mistook for my empathy was just fear, of being critised, rejected or yelled at. Yk you can't be rejected by others when you reject yourself first. You can't be critised when you fail if you don't try. Finally with time I learned that people actually like me. Even when I'm down. Even when I do something stupid or childish. I even learned to like myself, with all my high sensitivity and overthinking, even if sometimes one small thing is enough for me to lay in my bed all day with my face in the pillow. Now I'm on the other end and I often come across people making excuses not to meet. Oftentimes they want to meet, but they seem to get scared when the time for the meeting actually comes. I can never now for sure what's going on on their mind, but I hope that with time they'll trust enough to talk about it or be honest why don't they actually meet. Anyway, it's probably never good to push too much. Since it's everyone's own responsibility to take care of their mental health, the video actually still works. A reliationship requires effort from both sides. You can support someone and give more than the other person when they're having a harder time, but it can't last forever or you'll drain yourself.
Is that true? A girl I knew in highschool accepted many invitations but barely tried socializing with me.
Which is never
This is bad advice and you should feel bad.
People can conceal their thoughts, their personalities, but not their energy. If you learn to read that, then you will never struggle again.
How do people "read energy"? Everyone around me feels the same.
@@frankkennedy6388intuition and body language. Some people can do it more naturally than others and some people are just kind of “blind” so to speak. Saying energy is easier than trying to describe the ability to read body language and interact in real time. Subtext is also involved. Have you never seen when the words in a conversation are an entire mismatch with the visible body language? Also generally girls are better than boys at it. I’m generalising though so please don’t jump down my throat. Posting online is a perfect example. How often we miscommunicate with people just because tone of voice is not present? Add tone of voice to sight, and looking at who you re communicating with. Then add touch. Does the person ever touch you when you talk to them? How does that make you feel? Often how an interaction makes you feel includes your subconscious telling you what the actual “energy” is. I imagine there are books and books on the topic but from what I can tell some people are masters at navigating “energy” or “vibe” or whatever word one wants to attribute to whatever is really going on behind any interaction. I am mediocre at it. I can read interactions between others moderately well but don’t find it nearly so clear when it is an interaction with me. I think that’s pretty common though.
@@frankkennedy6388ask them certain questions and see the type of face expressions they make when you ask them.
@@frankkennedy6388 you just have to observe people more and know what to look for. Eventually you will be able to just feel it without having to pay attention as much
😂 what a bs
Some people are really busy, with work, family, activities... sometimes they don’t find time to do everything they should do. So, sometimes it happens : they like you, but they don’t take time to call you back. Of course, maybe you don’t want friends like that.
I think this video is more for single people who are interested in someone. If that other person doesn't make time to spend with you then don't waste your time on them.
@Igoendez69 I mean you can apply it really in any situation. People that want to spend time with you will make time for you.
Trueeeee. Yes they can do whatever they want. Focus on work and not text back in 24hrs. I mean come on ofc u have 30secs to text back. But then don’t expect me to accept that behaviour.
Easiest thing in the world. Just invite him/her. and when she/he finds excuses not to meet it clearly means she/he doesn't really like you.
Not always. The person could have social anxiety issues.
@@ellensunden2778 Give me a break, it's rare. You Americans are obsessed with anxieties.
So, no women like any Men.
@@ellensunden2778 exactly my thoughts
@@ellensunden2778 Or maybe they are scared of your religion.
Thats what I did, i took a step back, listed all the red flags ,cons and pros, strengths and weaknesses. waited for the other person’s initiation- weeks passed by and nothing. Time to move on and Thank you, next.
False friends are everywhere! Good friends encourage you to do well and never get jealous when your doing well! Plus are happy to help when they have time.
Good point but you might be on the wrong video
I’m always too depressed so people assume I’m a weirdo but if someone asks me questions or tries to get to know me then I feel sudden spike of energy and I’m being myself again
yooo i'm kinda the same
Problem with this is, some, usually introverted or shy people might start to think, oh they're not iniating any more, they don't like me anyway I shouldn't call them.
so frustrating... makes me wanna go sonic on top of them
and that's a problem. being shy is a fault that will get no one anywhere but alone and that's just the truth. i've never seen a happy, shy individual. i'm introverted, too. but being an introvert doesn't justify being a serial recluse. your thoughts are lies that only stop you from moving things along. 💯 just do it
Because it’s true?? Then why don’t they initiate?
@@osmsksms5444 fear of rejection
@@osmsksms5444 might have something to do with the shyness/introversion...
Man, so many people are uninterested of me then. That's a lot of "moving on" I have to do. They only want my homework and services. 😔😔😔😔
That’s most people which is why generally one does well to have a few close friends. Try restarting in your forties in a different country! Plenty of courteous acquaintances but friends? That takes time work and experience.
That’s not true! I value you as a friend! Wanna hangout after school? I just need to finish my calc homework first and then we can hang. Quicker i get that complete, the quicker we can get started…
Many people want to have good friends, but not everyone is capable of being a good friend
That is a hard lesson to learn in life . Most people won't be interested in you . But the one who do , will be highly rewarding .
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
My advice would be fill your time with things you enjoy and things that help you improve yourself. My own relationship ended a little over two weeks ago, and I've had to ramp up exercise to help get through it, among other things like rekindling old hobbies
Oh! This one is easy for me because they are never interested.
Same. 😂
I'm on that boat too, but you know, those scarce times when you meet people who're really interested in you, it's x100 better.
@@alejandrop.s.3942agreed
Correct.
This one hit home lol
I stopped initiating and ended up with no social life at all.
That happened to me as well. It was hard af, but eventually all that effort that I invested into people who weren't really interested in me was well invested in other people and activities.
It's better to be alone than to feel lonely surrounded by people.
I always decline invitations, even if I like the person and want to go to the activity due to my fear of social situations and fear of people. It has nothing to do with them.
@@lancefurcinite6518 Please keep your self-righteous, condescending advice to yourself. Unsolicited advice is both rude and condescending, and I will not tolerate being spoken down to like I'm a child. Shame on you.
@@ellensunden2778 Tbh your response shows you need all the advice you can get really
@@ellensunden2778 That's funny!!! I thought I was maybe giving some helpful advice here and wasn't trying to be condescending in any way. But given your obvious attitude toward my comment, you can just piss off!!! Bye 👋
@@ellensunden2778 Oh,no wonder you fear social situations, you're obviously an asshole.I do expect this comment to be deleted like my last. Funny how you get to spew your crap out at me,but when I reply,it gets deleted. Hmmmm ?
@@ellensunden2778 I have no idea what they said but I'm 99% sure it had some truth to it and it hurt your feelings otherwise you wouldn't be tantruming and trying to guilt trip people in a youtube comment section.
Yes, sometimes it's that you may not mesh well. Also, even if they're not interested, it could most likely be for your own protection in the long run. Meaning that the friendship may end up hurting you if you pursue it, but they're not that keen, but the friendship ends up happening anyway. This has been my experience over time. On both ends - being the one who's been interested but not having it reciprocated and also the one who's not been overly interested but has been pursued.
Also they may be hiding what they're really dealing with eg. depression or anything; and it's not they wouldn't like to be friends it may be they just don't have it in them at the moment to be a good friend. And they know this about themselves, so don't want to hurt or disappoint the other.
Personally, I am genuinely happy and interested in people. I tend to see the best of most people I meet and wish to be able see them more.
But my time is limited, and I have to work a lot on improving my mental health.
I cannot count the people that are so dear to my heart and often found myself too exhausted to ask for news, even though I deeply think about them on a regular basis.
I find it hard, because my behavior doesn’t reflect how I feel.
I sometimes told people about it. But still wonder if they might think of this as being polite.
I actually genuinely like them.
But I really need time to take care of myself, and considerate enough, not make all this a burden to anyone else.
So I can be at my best when we meet, and share good times.
I still have friends I can share this with though. No worries, I’m not alone in this ;)
It is just more complicated for new friendships and relationships.
So, yeah, it is not always about you :)
Hope It will get better soon :)
Very well said. I remember a few months ago a guy at the gym was trying to build up some kind of gym friendship with me. At that time I was depressed af, and even though I could see a lot of similarities between us which could lead to a friendship, I just couldn't at that moment. He eventually grew up tired of my attitude and didn't speak to me anymore.
Sometimes we think that rejection is only due to us, when many times that person's situation has a lot do with it.
There are people that I like and love. But I am incapable of maintaining friendships over the long term. It's me, not them. So while yes, you can move on, don't make the mistake in assuming they don't like you because of this.
sometimes people don't have space for another close friendship in their life, whether because of things that are going on for them, or because they have the right number of close friendships already; so sometimes we can have a real connection with people but not be open to having a friendship we might otherwise "want" to have; so it can be confusing sometimes to feel both pulls. And sometimes people are just too polite or just weird. We all have our weird moments!
Most people are lonely as hell. It's pretty rare for an adult to just have too many friends.
That's especially true the older you get. Most of the people have a very solid group of friends since many years ago, there's no room for nobody else. I moved to a new city around 3 years ago being 30yo, and I havent managed to make real new friends yet, just some people to hang up with from time to time.
@@alejandrop.s.3942 you are right I think but I am sorry to hear you are going through this - hang in there...
I lost a friend last year because I didn't initiated often enough for her. I sent her a text every week and that wasn't enough for her. She blocked me on everything, without explaining what I did wrong. I have ADHD and PTSD and a lot going on in my life. I'm not able to text/call/see someone everyday and I don't want that. It's not only about the person who doesn't initiate (enough). Friendships are realtionships and relationships need rules and honesty. Everyone wants and needs different things. If someone doesn't initiate it doesn't have to mean they don't like you. Maybe they have chaotic life/ are busy. Maybe they only want to have contact every month, but you want it every week. I think it's important have an honest conversation about what you want from each other. You also can just ask someone if they like you. You don't have to read someone if you just talk about it
Wow! Just 2:21 minutes and I've NEVER seen someone explain and give a concrete answer to this topic even after watching 100s of hours of minutes to hour long videos!
So concise and precise, to the point and clear conclusive answer, which didn't leave me confused or like the video creator just spun some words, or just gave a pseudo-science answer and didn't answer anything which happens most of the time, and every time before this WHILE being so inclusive and letting them know that the other person doesn't mean to demean them.
This was an awesome vid, thanks to the algo for recommending and thank you for creating! 🎉👍
I used to text people from my church on holidays, they responded. Then I stopped and so did they.
Good answer. To be honest I don't want friends and I know that I hurt people sometimes but I definitely don't want to hurt them. I just have had enough of people and friendships take up my time and friendships are all about compromise. I really truly like some people I meet in life and I can admire them or their skills or thoughts but I simply don't want to invest in friendships anymore. So I'm polite and sincere but I never look to further the encounter. So as this video says don't take it personally and enjoy the moment you have and then move on.
Unless that friendship is going to be with a person who will be with you till the end and enrich your life then I totally agree that friendships aren’t really worth the time or effort .
That's honestly how I feel most days. I get it.
@paulnicolas172 yep that's right too. One special person to me is better than a lot of acquaintances.
@@ca6248And it's not a bad thing at all. I don't need followers or an audience LOL. I'm happy just being me. Best wishes.
Thanks 🙏, It's practically a harmless way to find out someone's interest.
I was not expecting such toughtful and honest reflection when I clicked this video. Glad to hear it!
In my experience , only time a girl likes you is if she is attracted to you otherwise she ignores you or hates you or is just being nice because she has to be or she wants something from you
Kind of figured this out....slow as I am...but it was good to hear it from someone else. "Let their actions speak for themselves" Put in the effort, but see what they offer in return.
Take it from a 54-year-old man who has been around the block a time or two. Outside of business settings where communication is mandatory, a man won't talk to a woman unless he is attracted to her. If he really likes you, he will not stand you up unless something catastrophic happens.
Does that include staring too?
I think the harder part is when you get invited to do something and when you ask for further details, they hesitate because they didn’t think you’d take them seriously. After that, you just can’t trust them anymore. So to be safe, you just laugh off all of their invites.
People like that are insincere and manipulative. It's best to avoid them altogether. When I invite someone, I really mean it. For me to withdraw that invitation, you need to do something that makes me change my mind about you.
Exactly what happened. I asked a guy I see regularly that wanted to talk about something and he said he was busy and then from the next day started avoiding me completely. And before this we used to talk and maybe I misunderstood his friendship for interest.
Exactly what I did.
Asked if he was here to help me. Blinnked alot smirked and said No.
Made one road a difficult one to take.
If someone likes you, they will acept to hang out with you. Even if they were in the eye of a storm.
Just learned this the heard way. Had a girl string me along for 8 months and just found out the other day from a 3rd party she never cared about me. Lesson learned.
I’m sorry to hear that, man. That probably hurt like hell.
Salience takeaways:
"You shouldn't take it personally. Not everyone is for everyone. People have diff. preferences. It says nothing about your value and you as a person, and take what it is. It's fine not everyone has to like me."
Everyone of them hates me; they’re just being nice.
It can be like that sometimes. I found things changed if my life changed so that I was with a totally different group of people. Maybe you are in the wrong "group."
Doubtful.
thank you so much for the affirmation and showing the importance of communication ❤
for me it's not personal, i just have a really hard time meeting my friends and my boyfriend and family in between my job and studies and self care routines on top of the fact i'm an introvert and i had mental issues i have to keep in check so as to not fall into a crisis, so i will probably not pursue new relationships.
I tell you my story. I had spent all my teenage, early 20's receiving breadcrumbs of affection and attention from girls, always putting in 5x more effort than they did, and assuming that it was normal, for my low self-esteem and for thinking that girls want to be "conquered". This mindset led to many frustration and few success.
Then one day, already in my late 20's, travelling abroad for the first time in my life I met an stunning girl that made me feel great, desired, she put even more effort (I assumed she was just being nice and was quite cold, which I think ignited her even more)than I...she even changed her travelling schedule in order to spend some days with me, and she visited with me places that she had already visited.
From that moment onwards, I knew what real interest is, and even though it might sound delusional, I don't settle for less than that anymore. I prefer to be alone than feeling I am just feeding somebody's ego.
Once you have felt real interest from somebody, either friendly or romantic, you cannot be fooled.
(there had been other girls who behaved like this with me, but this was the one that I really liked too)
Thank you very much this was very insightful 😊
Best and most true tip I ever heard was, if they like you, they will make it easy for you.
I initiate every time. I even brought gifts. They said they couldn’t meet. My Messages were unread/non replied. So I stopped initiating, gave them space, as you said. They didn’t approach. If they wanted to, they would. Thanks for this informative video.
Learn to tell the difference between trying, which is good, and trying too hard, which is not good. If you find yourself trying too hard, be honest with yourself as to why, so you can do better next time.
I'm lucky I love spending time alone 😂
I think you might be lying to yourself, why bother watching a video on this topic then?
@@metsrus Because I still like women
@@wayneisname4544 I respect your honesty.
@@metsrus Because I want to know more about how people work?
You certainly can tell some peoples interest or not by their body language and actions. Not everything needs to be verbal.
Shy awkward people won't initiate even if interested, so the pull back method won't work with them.
with EXPERIENCE!!! i never wanted too much experience but not entirely my fault either
Fellow initiators, just befriend each other atp 😂😂😂
Although not initiating is a surefire way to tell that someone is at least interested in you, imo you *will* get very disappointed if you were never the *popular* one at any point of your life.
Actions and words are confirmation.
Normally words cannot carry much weight in demonstrating resolve, but when we are highly emotionally vested in a venture, words are more meaningful.
A normally stoic person may force out an 'I love you' when its true or in contrast, 'I don't love you anymore' when its true.
OMG i think this insight is so beneficial for me
Thank you for sharing, it's time to move on for me.
Nicely said 👏
Their thoughts come come from their mind and are vocalizing thoughts when speaking
You're just looking for the right vibe
I really needed this reminder and advice 💯 Yes that’s what I’m doing and realized I should do before, I try take step back a lot of times and try not initiate with the one I like. Same issue I’m having with him as that girl. 😒 I try think optimistic but I still get bothered being ignored and I definitely have fear of being “friend zoned”. I know is not best timing to even bother dating him anyways. If is meant to be it will happen in divine timing 🤞 I try keep that in mind.
This video is actually facts. It’s also the reason I’ve given up on dating, because this is all you need.
And what if NO ONE makes the effort to come to you?
Pretty good advice
0:55 "but as a rule of dumb" 😭🤣
This is the reason I like this channel she says things very clear in simple language I also had a same issue with a lady I like that lady but everything was initiated by me i apple this stepback method
So what happened after using this method?
@@bimsaragunathilke4901 It's only been 20 hours so give it a few days and we'll see what OP has to say
@@bimsaragunathilke4901on to the next lol
@@bimsaragunathilke4901 I assume the person probably showed or didn’t show interest. I’ve tried this in the past tho and got no initiation or incentive from the person until we just ended up talking less and less. The person wasn’t doing well mentally however so they just needed a break and time to think and focus on their own life. After a while, we started talking more again.
Great advice! all of this is true, can relate to this 100%. I'm always the one intiating - with both sexes, always speak first, ask them out. they never initiate - most dont text or say yes to me. So i just give up, i mean how long can you keep knocking on closed doors, i just learn to never ever initiate anymore
I feel bad because I always hang out with 99% of my friends online and rarely ever meet in person unless it's a birthday or something. One of my friends doesn't use the internet much so whenever we are together it has to be in person. The problem is I never schedule because I'm stuck in my internet hangout mindset, so he ends up making every plan. I do want to hang with him and accept literally every time he initiates, but I never initiate for him unless it's my birthday
I do a lot of stepping back, and moving on… lol sighhhh your advice is awesome thanks you for at least providing some clarity to a hopeless love-seeker like myself 😅😅😭
I am sure when they get out of their own way to make my day.
What I like most is to avoid people and be avoided by them. So it is clear we don't like each other and that makes life so much simpler and more enjoyable. Loneliness for everyone! So easy in our modern, more and more digitalized world. 😊
I also really like making social interactions complicated by applying psychology on them. It would be too easy to just be a natural and good-hearted human being.
Quick tip
It’s doesn’t matter if they really like you
It only matters if you like them
Then judge the relationship accordingly and stop trying to read minds
ADHD peeps forgetting to reach out to people… 👀
If someone is making jokes that are non-suggestive consider it friendly conversation. Nothing more.
Me : it is what it is 🗿
The moment I stop initiating, my current friends don't do or say anything for like 6 months. And the friends I've met that do initiate do it EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF THE DAY and I have to cut contact for them being too clingy. Nothing beats family though, I call them and they call me, minimal effort and it just works.
Once I decided to say nothing to one person. No DMs for months
The ole “put the ball in their court.”
Extremely helpful
This exact thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I was going to meet up with this girl, but then she cancelled it the day before. Afterwards whenever I voiced my want to reschedule she would just say she was busy. I was a bit confused at first since I thought she had previously shown sings of interest towards me, but what do you know, she was already eyeing someone else. I've let go of it now though.
Excuses are a polite form of rejection.
If you chase, they will run!
Let then initiate the chase!
Thats a great rule of dumb
This works for texting as well 👍
I think this video should just be like a hint rather than a 100% fact. Making up little tests and games for others to go through without them knowing and then using that as a way to cut contact with them and end the relationship is bordering if not already crossing the line of being manipulative. Especially if you start using these tests as a point in an argument.
Cool advise
Another easy way to find out if someone likes you is if they ask questions about you
I usually use this simple trick: they are being nice.
It is different depending on country, culture, so sometimes it is more difficult. There is an old teory that is called the climate theory that say that people from cold countries are less outgoing and spontaneous. You might think that is BS but in my experience it is true. In a romantic meeting the man is supposed to drive the conversation but mine experience in the US is that some girlls talk nonstop and expect you to hum friendly!😊
If they ask things about you or questions=they're interested in you and it's more than any compliment
I think sometimes it will show through their voice tone ,eye contact or how they will interact with u when there's people with you , sometimes it will show through their humor because some people will put truth between jokes .
but when they tell you they could be lieing.. judge by actions over time, and how they treat you over time etc
this is gold
I’m doing that now. I never got anything so far huh and we followed each other everywhere..
There are over 8 billion people in the world. You'll make a new friend.
Few people I hangout with have fear of disturbing people... So not very helpful because they rarely initiate
If they don't ever initiate, they're just not interested enough in maintaining a relationship with you 9/10 times.
Body language. You must get good at reading body language. We are communicating CONSTANTLY.
Huh. This makes me rethink myself honestly. I do want to hang out with people I like but I don't initiate anything in case it turns me into a bother (rationally I know it won't always be like that but I think that'll be something I need to work on) but no wonder nothing happens when the other person no longer reaches out
If I don't have plans and someone asked me, I'd go but if I'm already doing something or has something planned or planned to do nothing(still something to do), I would just say no.
This does not account for people with social anxiety or even a strongly reserved homebody personality.
If it is toward me they r just being nice. Cased closed
I wish she just told me she wasn’t interested rather than saying I’ll be busy. And then basically ghosting me 😢
Can u say some tips for forgetting best friend or how to accept if our best friend left us
Your accent is awesome
I really like Francesca…
Nonverbal communication matters.
So does verbal.
Look for a balance. Look for character.
I like your voice ❤
Gorgeous with beautiful accent
It just feels like no one is genuine anymore and honestly I’ve done so much initiating in my life that I too would like to be initiated with but it doesn’t happen smh. It’s gotta be something with me right, there’s no way everyone in life stopped caring/talking to me genuinely because of them? I don’t know anyways I’ve accepted my own company if being alone is what I’m meant to go through then whatever I guess I don’t really know what else to do. I’ve never felt more alone in my life than recently in the passed 1-2 years since my divorce but I’ve learned it’s ok. Just gonna keep on keeping on I’ll either find my right ppl or I won’t fuck it