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The Common Signs of Autism in Adults - Could You Be Autistic and Not Know it?
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- čas přidán 16. 08. 2024
- Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore some of the most common signs of #autism in adults, and how they can present differently in men and women. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd #autisticadult
⏱ Index:
00:00 - Autism in adults
02:06 - Adult diagnosis
04:36 - Common signs of autism in adults
16:42 - Autism assessment for adults
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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (CZcamsr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.
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Self diagnosing is so important cause it gives you tools to be able to advocate for yourself when talking to doctors who say shit like “you can’t be autistic cause you can speak”
Yep. "You can't be autistic because you're sociable!" 🙄🙄🙄
@@grooviechickie “you can’t be autistic you’re telling jokes” like no I use comedy that I’ve learned to help me mask and hide behind it’s a sheild
I actually became angry about my medical record showing anxiety disorder, depression. I have been feeling shame my whole life for not “getting my act together”.
Same. The irony is the people that guilt trip and shame others don't even have a accurate sense of themselves, most of them are a an utter mess when put under scrutiny. They don't like it when you sling some of their flaws back at them.
Omg same
This comment hits hard
Same. I’m unpacking a lot of anger
Agreed. Especially with the anxiety disorder, it seems to be usually a product of a life of being treated harsher and expected to do more than neuro-typical folk. I had a few teachers who would single me out because I needed to "do better", despite the fact that I was doing all I could to force my non-linear brain to learn in a linear way.
I’m 55, and I’ve often wondered why I am the way I am. I was kind of a wreck, especially my high school years, but was never diagnosed as autistic. I have forced myself over the years to read people, make eye contact, and become quite sociable because I hated the way I was. But I can’t deny that I’ve always felt different. I can’t hold conversations in crowded rooms. I hate the sound of motorcycles. I really have to prepare myself for visitors coming over. I can never achieve my ideal routine, etc. I’ve been depressed for the most part as long as I recall, but there have been saving moments of joy here and there to make things bearable.
I'm 59, and have always wondered why I was so different from others. I was told in the late 1960s that I was not autistic, but I think if I was tested today things would have been different.
I’m 66 just finally realizing I have autism and agree with everything you just said! Why was I so different, and could never pull myself together! I had bipolar too, and 3 mental breakdowns, sexually,physically emotionally abuse from my father and a mother that turned a blind eye even at her age of 89! But I know now I have autism too! Been home bound for over 20 yrs trying to heal! My husband and I have 6 children 28 grandchildren who we love, Haven’t given up yet! ❤ And I love the
Lord!
Dude. I can associate with basically everything you've said, including the being 55 bit.
I'm 51, found out 4 days ago. Jim Jefferies (comedian) is so funny and autistic so looked it up and was me too.
People have been trying to tell me for 30years and just got left in the back of my head unread until looked it up myself.
But have been working so long and not unemployed because of it never thought to think of it then BAM WTF am I not the only one?
31 year old male here and this comment is highly, highly relatable
I don't have friends either but that's because I don't want them. There's too much pressure to maintain friendships. You're expected to keep in regular contact, for example. And do things with them that most of the time you don't want to do. I'm happiest on my own when I can do what I want without interruptions or distractions.
My son was diagnosed with autism level 3 at age 2 and he's now 4 years old. I went onto CZcams for support and advice on raising a child with autism and I kept getting suggested videos on autism in adults and in females. I finally clicked and almost had a panic attack once I realized I'm on the spectrum too. Throughout my life most doctors thought my behavior came from my childhood trauma and diagnosed me with severe social anxiety, depression, OCD and I began to consider myself a bit of a basket case. I actually just got my autism diagnosis at age 30 this past summer. Now family members and extended family members are beginning to see their place on the spectrum as well. I'm so very grateful for my son for helping me discover this and I hope it will help me be a better parent to him and get him the support he needs and deserves. Thanks for sharing this information, very helpful!
I’m so grateful that you’ve shared your story. And I’m really happy for you and your diagnosis. What parenting topics would you like me to cover in videos?
I was working for the past 4 years while my husband stayed home with the kids. This summer we swapped roles and I'm taking care of the children. They're both young and need a lot of attention. If you have any tips to preventing/managing burnout, how you manage to care for yourself when you are a caregiver, or any tips about the relationship w/ your partner after diagnosis, after children, etc. that'd be very helpful. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I really appreciate it!
@@whitneymason406 I’ll definitely cover those in an upcoming video. I’m in the same situation as you, my wife works onsite and I’m home. My advice, swap back! 😆
Everyone is on the spectrum, EVERYONE.
That's amazing. I have been watching videos about autism after my brother was diagnosed. I found a video about autism in girls and started crying because I related so much. I now know that I have autism as well. I still have yet to get diagnosed though
Honesty, Blunt, desinterested
Struggle with small Talk
Take thinks literally
Difficulties with emotions
Struggle Reading Others
Lacks Friendships
Avoiding eye contact
Personal Space
Social Anxiety
Routines And Plans
Difficulties Multitasking
Heightened senses (Sensory overload)
Easily distracted
Mental illness
Meltdowns And shutdowns
Challenges with executive function
Clumsy, uncoordinated
Fatigue And Burnout
Everything on the list ?? 😂 yes everything except personal space because I need my space …. Ick 😂
Thank you for that list. I found it helpful. Have a great day
Oh wow, I basically have every single one on that list 😬
I'm autistic and my daughter is and my granddaughter is. I have a different experience than what you described. I have a few sensory issues with clothing like I have never worn shorts or gone without shoes even in the house. I hate wearing jewelry, but I'm the opposite with everything else. I love textures and I have many stims that are texture-seeking. I am attracted to and cannot perform tasks as well without complex noise, like death metal. I never experience fatigue, in fact I have trouble getting tired. I am 52 years old and still find napping during the day or at night impossible. I have trouble falling asleep and must take melatonin to do so. I get hyperfocused and accomplish many tasks. I am a very advanced oil painter and artist, sculptor, I play many instruments on what most consider an advanced level. I read books obsessively. I can read a 1000-page book in a day if I have a day off. I write novels and they've been reviewed overall with mostly 5 starsbooks. I am a recording engineer and master of the software used, as well as Photoshop and Illustrator. I have worked as a graphic designer for 8 years of my life. I can sew very well to the point of making clothing well. I have rebuilt car engines and transmissions. I am a very accomplished cook. I Bartended for many years and excelled at it due to my masking abilities. I can do many many things extremely well beyond the ordinary people I encounter, but I am autistic. I was often beaten up in school for my social awkwardness. I still slip sometimes and I infodump like crazy (doing it now). I don't know what all this means but I remember some of the feelings you describe in my very younger years. Many people often misread my facial expressions and when I emote it's kind of an act because I have to tell myself to do it, but it is authentic because I hate being disingenuous.
I love being alone and don't like taking trips anywhere. I got literally sick and tired of being around others demanding that I wasn't doing enough, and always being needled and chastized. The only downside is that I will die alone when my time comes.
That really sounds like me .
Same!!! I never understood the fascination with travel. I find taking trips sooooo overwhelming
I’m 49 and it took me an entire year to find a neuropsychiatrist that tests adults. I was finally diagnosed with Aspergers just 2 weeks ago. Totally made absolutely everything clear as to why I always behaved the ways I did/do.
Amen I'm glad they found the cause for you 🙏
What's the benefit of getting diagnosed?? Other than just for self awareness. Just seems like a waste of money to me. I don't have insurance tho. I know how my body acts. I don't need a Dr's opinion
As for personal space, I am opposite.. I am overly aware and makes me feel uncomfortable if people are too close to me... it causes anxiety. But person accidently brush up while passing me or accidentally touch me, it is almost painful.
It's impossible to explain to people that I feel like I'm being suffocated just by having a person in the same room as me, at times. For instance, if I'm drawing at my desk, if my wife comes to watch TV in the room, it feels like she's breathing down my neck when in reality she's just in the same room.
me too ..
I feel that. I am acutely aware if somebody is in my "space bubble". I wouldn't describe being touched unexpectedly as "almost painful", but it does startle me and feel... idk, icky? One of my pet peeves is if I'm at a drive thru and handing my credit card to the person at the window. I'm careful to hold my card at the edge so that they can take it without touching my hand, but sometimes they're careless and do so anyway.
I'm like this also. One of my most vivid memories from high school was when I accidentally brushed against a girl's breast who was leaning in close to me. I had to rush away because I became almost violently ill.
I’m with you I’m hyperaware of personal space & it becomes overwhelming in some situations.
I am a female senior citizen and did not realize I am atypical until my Grandson's diagnosis. My son is , I believe also on the spectrum. We are all highly functional and I believe these are the people who do not get diagnosed.
Learning at 57 that I'm autistic makes me a part of that lost generation.
Hi 🕔
@Call me by your name I'm 65 and got diagnosed at the ripe old age of 62.
I'm part of the lost generation too.
Another list one here, just figuring it out at 57.
Me too!
I'm almost 100% sure I have high functioning autism. I'm surprised I've masked so well that people don't suspect it and just think I'm weird or eccentric, usually in a good way.
I'd agree, but technically- definition wise - high functioning means an iq higher than 70... not that high and not always too functioning.
Yeah, sure….
The fact that you had to quantify the amount of autism you have, as if that’s a thing, tells me you’re telling us a story.
Go to a mental health professional and get diagnosed. You aren’t qualified to diagnose your way out of a paper bag. And even if you were, you still wouldn’t be allowed to diagnose yourself. You’d still need to go to another mental health professional to get diagnosed.
Thanks for coming out to my TED talk.
Me too! I was good at school, into art and shy. No one asked any questions lol
"Look at it like a color wheel of infinite colors"
In ASL, the sign for autism is "colorful mind" and I absolutely love it!
Thank you for sharing this! I'm HoH and use ASL. I only know the old signs for autism and I hate them. They make me sad. This is beautiful! I will educate the community here that this is the current sign.
Thank you! Thank you!
I made the interpreters spell it up until now.
@@maquis1911 I'm hearing and I think I'm autistic, and my wife is Deaf. She's the one who taught me the new sign. We're both happy to be able to share the goodness 😊
I get the concept. Did she show you the old signs for autism? They are shortsighted.
That's awesome you two accept each other's language and culture.
I struggle with my roommates' ethnocentrism.
@@maquis1911 she did show me the old signs. I think they reflect the old way of looking at neurodivergence as if the person is broken and needs to be fixed.
I think the strongest sign of autism is the lack of ability or skill in reading social situations. Difficulty in reading peoples behaviour and a lack of skill in social interactions. I suffer from severe anxiety, so I can identify with a number of the signs of autism but I definitely don't consider myself autistic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, very interesting.
I find as a woman and with ALL that socialization that says women are social, I can read social situations better than a lot of NTs, but this was 100% learned behaviour. I’ve memorized variables to consider in socialization. But I do struggle to participate in them because it is so much work to just figure out how to not mess them up.
I said yes to everything! lol But I already knew i was ASD, but undiagnosed. Also very dyslexic. I'm in my 50's now and have learned to live with all this stuff - mostly lol. I can still have my meltdowns and long depressions if I am not careful. And social anxiety is still a killer!
Great video :)
My 72 year old husband is struggling with dementia and he is exhibiting many of these autistic traits. These traits are new behaviors and were not present earlier in his life. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Maybe he's had these traits all along and is no longer masking them?
Great points. Here in the U.S. I doubt any gp would have a clue about the broad spectrum of autism.
I'm in Aus (like this guy) and I still get GPs telling me I can't be Autistic bc I wear makeup, etc. Needs specialists.
There is lots of american autistic CZcamsrs as well , so I think you might be able to to find help / diagnosis there. Have a nice day 👍
Same in Germany. Nobody, but really specialized folks have an idea about it. And these are mostly private and super expensive.
@@sweetcrusader86 I am an Australian GP, we are not trained and really need clinical psychologists or psychiatrist who know what they are doing. Don’t give up🙏
I struggle with small talk but i have a job that forces me to engage in small talk with hundreds of people every day. Its absolutely exhausting and starts causing me physical pain as the day drags on
Has it not gotten easier with time?
@@TheRedstonePlayerMC it became bearable over time. But i think because of the lockdown i was no longer seeing friends or family outside my household and at work we started offering click and collect to people shielding so i spent 6 months or more barely talking to anybody other than my wife, children and a few colleagues in passing. I feel the lack of social interaction for a very long period of time has made going back to having to talk to people again extremely hard and painful
@@somethingfromnothing8428
That's completely fair. It's at least relieving that it got bearable in due time before, let's hope everything smoothes out so that you can find that groove again! :)
Best wishes
@@TheRedstonePlayerMC i hope so too. I was never good socially and i think it was clear to most people i spoke to that i am different but it wasnt so bad that i was suffering and struggling quite like i have been for a while. I almost feel like my social skills have regressed to what they were 15-20 years ago when i was a kid. I would love to see some videos or hear from anyone else who has suffered something similar to myself during covid or whether its just me that has found my social skills & ability to mask fade away during a prolonged period of isolation
@Call me by your name i get back and muscle pain from too much social interaction. Its really bizarre how over working our social abilities causes physical muscle fatigue
Quarantine was just a series of burnouts and meltdowns for me and I had no idea why. It's because of video's like this that have helped me understand why it feels like I wasn't in control of my life. I've come to accept that I'm probably part of the undiagnosed "lost" generation of adults and that I just need to work within my means and not other people's expectations.
Same here undiagnosed adult
🙄 Quarantine was traumatic for everyone. You’re not “special”.
Quarantine? I didn't do what the government told me
The lockdown was such a peaceful time for me. Not feeling that I had to meet people for coffee or walks or whatever. No .. people in couples .. at my door every 6 months. Just one grocery-run a week, unless my husband went alone. Peace.
I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD in my younger years. Growing up, I always felt "different", out of place, like I didn't belong. I've always been socially awkward. I've never liked my arms being completely covered, it feels weird to me, so wearing sweaters or long-sleeved shirts in the fall and winter, isn't a thing. I will wear a coat, though. I've been known to be a klutz. Although I do have a husband and love him dearly, I do need alone time. If I don't get enough of it, I will feel stressed and will actually withdraw. Too much time around others, causes me to just feel mentally worn out and tired. I will randomly space out, and it's usually misinterpreted as me being angry or upset about something. I don't always pick up on social cues or will take things quite literally. I grew up being told that I'm not normal and never will be because I have problems and normal people don't have problems. That used to hurt, but now I can't help but think, "what's normal?" If being normal is what we're striving for, then I would rather not be normal and just be myself. Being myself is far more entertaining, anyway. I will be asking my GP to test me for autism.
these videos have truly been helpful to me, I get my dr results in 2 weeks. I know I am autistic. I'm 39 and just now am understanding what this is, so helpful.
personally I think it should encouraged for people to find out on their own if they are autistic considering that getting diagnosed is not an option for all people its really expensive, it's really intimidating, and doctors will often misdiagnose on purpose to have you sustain your life
My son is 17 and just got a full diagnoses. I know i have it too but i' ve never been diagnosed and i am 42 yrs old now. i showed him this video. Ive been wstching as much educational stuff on it as i can so i can better support him.
I was listening to a podcast (I’m almost always listening to podcasts and audio books) where they were taking an autism test and I like taking tests so I took it along with them. My results suggested that autism was likely and I started to look up symptoms and research it. I’m almost certain at this point that I’m on the spectrum and I think my son might be as well. I started thinking back on my life and I would stim and didn’t know that’s what I was doing. I thought lots of people shake their leg, tap fingers and I didn’t see anyone else rolling ankles but didn’t think about that one. I thought most little boys walk on the front of their feet. I thought I was just smart for watching tv learning how people would react and how situation’s might turn out. I was always just thought of as emotional and I didn’t know autistic people had emotions (I’m not describing that right). I liked eating paper towel but I thought that people just had never tried it and they didn’t know how good it tasted and how nice it felt to chew. I had friends sometimes stop hanging out with me and I wasn’t sure why. People would tell me that I corrected them too much but I didn’t know how to stop and thought it probably wasn’t a big deal. I always knew I wasn’t like everyone else but I grew up moving from state to state and had a few traumatizing experiences and became depressed at a young age and dropped out of school at 15 and went back the next year but I would stay home because I was anxious about something and then it would make going back even worse because they might try and talk to me about why I was out. I eventually just got my GED and got two perfect scores and only missed one math question, the essay was my lowest score because writing about myself has always been difficult for me and I panicked. Also as a kid I would get in trouble for taking things to literally like the time I crawled through a sewer drain because I was told I couldn’t cross the street because of the cars might hit me. I got in an argument with a girlfriend because she put black in her rainbow and I said it looked nice but blacks not a color and she said it is because people consider it a color. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship. She would also keep telling me I was taking things to literally all the time and it felt like I was always debating her. I realized a few years ago that my friends weren’t good influences and I didn’t really see them much anyways and now haven’t had any real friends for for years. I talk to my mom maybe once a week but I prefer to do most things alone. I would like to find someone to be with eventually but I’m a single father of two who has a hard time keeping things together as it is, so maybe when they are out of the house.
I was just diagnosed at 35 a month ago. I agree with a lot of this stuff. I relate a lot to the women side of the spectrum and it explains why I got missed. Loving your videos.
This was an enlightening video! I checked all but 3. Thank you! Its not nessarily about diagnosis for some of us, but being self awwre is a big step.
Having add and asd, being diagnosed with 27, I can maybe add some things, which I experienced as typical singns.
Being loyal. I moved into another city (400km),but still go to my barber in my hometown one time per month, so I go 800km just to get my hair cut.
Being susceptible to narcisstic people.
Saying the negative truth in work / study environments and being the only one, who actually wants to know about the topic itself, not just passing tests.
Constant conversation in the head about everything.
Having constantly ideas or new thoughts.
Having days, in which you can't do anything, just lie around and read or do interesting stuff.
Taking orders or tasks literally in unknown situations (like at a new work).
Eating just a few things (like 15 things).
I definitely feel you on the narcissistic people. I know I am socially awkward and am unaware when I am rude. He would tell me I was being rude to people all the time, and that they were upset with me to try and isolate me. I just didn't realize it because people do feel that way a lot of times. At first I'm off putting, but then they get to know me, and a lot of folk think I'm alright. So I would just think, oh well, they'll either come around or they won't. It didn't bother me. I am way too trusting, but I have looked up all sorts of signs now, and am much more careful.. at least I try to be.
@@maggieavilla1336 Too many humans are those flying monkeys...
I feel you deeply on being actually interested in the topic, not only to pass the test!
that's been me my whole life. I always kept asking questions in classes, thought through the topics and wanted to know more about them, often to the point where teachers said they don't know things that specific. lol.
And I've probably annoyed several classmates with being that way. But I don't really care, I've always enjoyed my childlike enthusiasm for knowledge. And that knowledge usually accompanied me a while after class, too. E.g. when I had learned about molecules and their behavior in class, I would think about it further when cooking at home for example.
and to add: I never understood the learning for the test and not being interested in all these things that make us and our world who we are. I need to be interested in topics to remember things about them.
@@piiinkDeluxe I feel that deeply. When I am at work (and luckily I work in an area that is specially interesting to me) I do think about equations or even about things people have said at work... It's like my mind constantly tries to get the truth out of everything.
It can be knowledge or it can be human behaviors.
Luckily I was able to just present my extensive knowledge in so many areas that I never had to study - I was at university once but I was more interested in the topic than the professors and that bothered me like crazy. Specially when they held on to useless rules and were not open to discuss the topic.
To me many people are really egoistic, they're not interested in the matter itself but in themselfes in the matter. I never liked that, because it is fake.
Luckily I found people in the finance industry which are to this day my real heros, because they gave me a chance. And I did stuff in one week which they thought I needed maybe 3 months for and I loved it, because I loved to learn and understand and it presents me every day of my life with joy and happiness. When someone actually critizise my work and I see he is right it makes me happy as well because I can do it better. I never come on the idea to not be responsible for my work and myself as a person. And specially in the finance industry people are just running off their own responsibility. Therefore I think people like me. They always know where they're at with me.
I am so grateful to know I am autistic. Because as a 33yo female adult, when burnout happens I can tell myself, Hey- this means something important.
TLDR: Autistic burnout in adults looks like stress or mental illness, but it's not the same. Great video, Orion! 🙌
It doesn't mean I can't succeed in life. It doesn't necessarily mean I am depressed.
It does mean that I need help with my discouragement and feelings of hopelessness.
It means social tasks (really, all tasks) will be a lot harder right now.
Burnout is an internal injury. Our autistic bodies know how to heal, if we will allow it.
It feels like my mind is filtering out small problems so I can work on the BIG problems. Focusing on emails and housework is difficult. Writing in my journal and playing Harvest Moon feels good! 😊 Well wishes. 💜
This is so familiar that all I can do is nervously giggle.
Thank you for sharing your personal burnout experiences! It has really helped me. I watched it exactly at the right time....
Agreed!!! I’m 50 and just recently released myself from the chemical shackles placed on me through years of misdiagnosis. Thank you so much! I love what you are doing!!!
You Sir, should really have more attention. An Autistic friend told me, that i should watch your content and I like it alot 🙂
For me, it took a blind-date, in the age of 37 years, to recognize that I am an autistic person myself. Then i reflected my situations with people and was able to understand where the hate, rejection, etc. was coming from. I have to admit, that people and doctors, who tries to diagnose autism here in Switzerland, aren´t really capable of doing this. 😥
Great video. I could check all the boxes for my husband. Another point I would add to clumsiness is poor spatial awareness and poor mechanical skills. I remember on our honeymoon my husband was trying to open a plastic soap container. (We were hiking and carrying everything in backpacks.) He finally threw the container into the sink and yelled "I hate things!" To do anything mechanical he would have to study it and plan out what to do. Once he has a plan though, everything goes smoothly, if slowly. It would have been helpful to have awareness of autism earlier. It is sometimes very difficult for neurotypical types to deal with autistic reactions and behavior.
Your video is definitely an eye opener. I am 51 years old. After watching your video, I can check off a good many of the things you mentioned to some degree. As an adult, I feel so behind in just about everything in life. Looking back at my childhood, I felt like a zombie. I was bored to death with absolutely everything EXCEPT what I was interested in. Sadly, I am still the same way today. Perhaps I have ADHD instead. My wife has sort of diagnosed me herself and has been consistently frustrated with me just about every single day for over 26 years. She is also very patient and loving. I know there are many things wrong with me and I should have been diagnosed a very long time ago. Thank you for sharing this.
My mother said she suspected my youngest brother had autism. So I started looking it up. Then I realized that I tick a lot of the symptoms. So I asked my mom if she ever wondered if I had it too.. and she told me she knew I did, she even had me tested for it, but they just diagnosed me with an auditory processing disorder. Autism was seen as only a boy thing in the 80s. She said she didn't bother to continue to pursue it because she didn't want them to put me in the slow classes, and the auditory processing disorder was enough to get me aids in learning. Like a tape recorder and to make sure that teachers had to provide me with written materials that I could study at home with. I remember that test. I tried so hard to pass it so I could get the icecream that was promised if I did a good job. I remember thinking I wouldn't get it because even though I managed to do most of the things asked of me, I just couldn't keep track of where the sound was coming from, or understand what was said in one ear while beeping was going on in the other. I wish she had told me. She said it didn't matter since I was high functioning...
I didn't speak until 5, I couldn't understand people's motivations.. I asked if the car lighter was hot because it didn't turn red like the one in my mom's car, and her boyfriend told me to touch it and see.. so I did. I was severely burned. I still remember the fight she had with him. She told him he had to be careful with his words because I'd take him literally.. I have learned over the years how to catch some sarcasm, and turns of phrase. I am often still baffled and have to have things explained, but I am just seen as naive and quirky. It works I guess, and as long as I am happy, I won't meet all the requirements for a formal diagnosis. Might as well save the money then.
Sadly, i was there when (doctor influencers) PTB made the paradigm change. Even autistic females nowadays believe the lie that they were accidentally 'missed' instead of deliberately reclassed under other labels (including labels to end careers, even lives) for the stolen boy agenda. Generations still being harmed (of any gender)
I'm very similar to you🙂
I sort of have the same thing as a male. I‘ve been to a psychologist provided by the school. He told me I was too good socially to be autistic. The thing is you just don‘t notice some struggles. I started the habit of just ignoring the things I didn‘t understand because people got mad at me after asking them to repeat the same thing 3 times in a row. I now just answer an ok and hope that was the apropriate response. Works 95% of the time. The other 5% I stand there like a complete idiot. I don‘t have an official diagnosis but a lot of the things I do can be explained with autism but I‘m constantly second guessing myself.
😭i hate hate HATE when ppl tell "jokes" that are just lies and call it sarcasm -_- like there is a literal tone of voice to use for sarcasm so it seems to me allistic ppl are just assholes that like using the word 'joke' as an excuse to get away with fuckin with ppl, idk. sorry to rant under your very well written comment lol. i can really relate to your story but ugh it just reminds me of every time this lighter type thing happens in my life and continues to do so even at 31 😩
@@stillnai yes you are quite right. And the harm allistics do eachother using the 'I'm joking/It's a joke' attack is greater than we who wonder.... they flat out know they are being attacked and silenced sadly. At least i can just be confused and write it off to their miswired brains.
Thank you Orion Kelly for providing this opportunity to learn more about myself and to share with others. Your videos are wonderful, keep up the good work! Ron T - ISTJ, OCD, ADD, General anxiety disorder, social phobia disorder, autism spectrum disorder. I am an Aspie and I love it!!
I like how genuine yet professional you are in the video. ;)
Second video of yours I watch after watching CZcams for years on the subject, and somehow you just describe things so good and clear, it almost feels like it is me you are describing. I just had the feeling that it is for certain without any doubt that I am autistic for the first time, thank you Orion
Thanks so much for watching.
I have been officially diagnosed already some time ago and yet, seeing this video gives me another level of “validation”. I match all the signs and it’s natural because I am an adult and autistic but with every new sign popping up in the explanation I was like “yaaaay, this is meeeeee”
This might mean I still feel lonely w my diagnosis and not seen? 🤔
thank you for this video! I feel more like a real person other than a rude freak now 😅😂❤❤❤
in terms of multitasking, I would consider that some people might benefit from using a method of using a low attentive task/activity (such as listening to music) to help bolster their productivity in more high attentive tasks. Obviously, it's worth noting in this argument that every autistic person is different, but, for example, when I was in high school, I hated doing math, it was extremely frustrating to me, even though I generally got good grades in the class. I noticed that when I was able to listen to music, it made the work flow much more smoothly for me, allowing me to finish my work without stressing too hard on it
I view it as having a combination of high total "mental resources", as well as an increased cost multiplier for tasks based on complexity. When you add into that an overall dislike of something, the attention takes a toll.
So music can solve the "I don't like what I'm doing" part of the equation, while only taking let's say 10% of our available resources. The good state of mind the music puts you in may also free up some of the resources you were using to internally lament your current activity, making the overall toll even lower. The resources from processing the music (auditory and probably semantic if there are lyrics) may even not be engaged during the task (like with the mathematics example) and thus could even be considered "free" depending on the task at hand.
I think autistics are just so sensitive to environment holistically. The sounds around you, the temperature, the lighting, the sounds outside the room, the sounds from the street outside, the buzz of electronics, etc. Even the task you're doing and the people around you are essentially your environment at the time, if we assume environment to mean everything outside of ourselves. We are constantly multitasking, if you think of it.
It's just a matter of balancing the resources around you so you can multitask on things that matter and not pay attention to 1000 different things around you all making some kind of noise. And music seems good for drawing ALL of your auditory attention so it's at least more focused. Like a "lightning rod" of sorts.
I don't have a problem with multitasking if I have total control over when to switch tasks, but if people are interrupting me then I often get to the point where I shut off all communication or quit doing all the tasks.
I was always good at math but I find music to be distracting and annoying: it's just noise to me.
Multitasking doesn't exist as you say, however neurotypicals are able to switch between tasks quickly without it effecting their thought processes. I think this is what they mean by multitasking. I can perform many tasks as long as they are all in the same grouping, ie knitting and sewing but if you asked me to think about something else like cooking I wouldn't be able to switch my thought patterns and back without great difficulty. It means I can't have casual conversation while I'm concentrating like NTs seem to need to
I always felt something was a little different about me. Misdiagnosed all my childhood and adolescence, and I’m nearly 40 and only recently was told by my psychiatrist that I’m on the spectrum?
I’d like to know more about this spectrum and what it includes; I was just so grateful to finally understand myself a little better and make sense of so much of my life up until now. I absolutely needed to find this video at this very moment.
Thanks a lot, man, you’re helping me so so much. I am so grateful for the work you do.
I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, was called a cruddy student, my mom told me she thought I was weird and was just faking being “incompetent and stupid” (she’s a mean thing...) She thought I was lazy. Ugh it kills me to think of the kids who had to grow up the way I did.
❤️
I have social anxiety, I find it hard to make friends, and only kept a few. I find it hard to make a 1 to 1 conversation, not that I cant but its really demanding and requires a lot of energy. I like to have time alone, and crowds make me uncomfortable. I have a high sense of smell and sensitivity to light (I rather go out at night, less people and less light). And I also find it really hard to focus on one thing if there is too much going on (like if I am trying to watch TV and there is people talking or doing noises in the kitchen) and I have to stop whatever Im doing. I have had depresion episodes and was bullied when I was a kid without even knowing why. I dont consider myself clumsy in general but I cant dance for the life of me... Its really hard for me to coordinate my body with the music and at the same time with someone else (even if people say I am a good dancer I feel like its difficult and I suck)
So there, I actually relate to these things, which are quite a lot, and maybe I missed a couple but those are the main ones... I always felt different to other people, is this why?
Learn to like yourself no one's perfect
@@olgatrilogymartin3143 loving myself or not is not the porblem. I accept the things I have and how I am. Its the fact the're might be people who would not understand or accept me. Its about being able to fit in today's world.
Now I wait for people to fit in my life rather to try and fit on theirs
I experience total sensory overload all the time when going outside, luckily my friend is similar and doesn't mind when we change tables over and over in a resturant because of the noise or a door or a wobble ect, also I always wear sunglasses and over ear headphones to cancel out noise and light, and people leave you alone and you dont even have to listen to anything 😃😃😃
Recently realized I'm autistic. 57 years of age. I also have CPTSD and ADHD.
Learning who am I after all this time masking.
I originally was watching your videocast, Orion, to understand one person, but now it's two. It sure is a good idea to realize that we are not all the same. Give each other some leeway. Don't assume that the rules are the same for everyone. This helps to prevent your becoming offended, when we're just different. It's a bit shocking, really. But it's important. I'm mourning a bit, because these folks are really close to me.
Used to avoid eye contact as a child. Then it became proof I was lying. Then i was staring like 'a psycho' because I 'fixed' my focus.
I have always suspected that I am autistic but no one has diagnosed me with it. So many things you talk about have shown up in my daily life since I can remember.
You are so smart. I'll bet many professionals use your data and ideas on their patients. I most certainly do have some of that "stuff" you talk about. My son and three nephews have fragile X syndrome with severe autism and MR, but it's clear to me now that me and my three sisters have enough signs to be on the spectrum.
I think another good tell sign for autism is, if you´re past 30 and still remember the majority of your childhood (for authists a lot more things can have a deep memorable inpact, like for regular people it would only happen alongside traumas), pretty much everyone I know barely remebers anything before they were 10years old while I can still recall detailed situations from my childhood before I was 5years old. I also remember how my grandma (smartest person I´ve met in my life till this day) was constantly up my arse to fight a whole bunch of obvious authism signs I was showing growing up in a less than 500 people village on the countryside, in the early 90´s no family in such a smal village wanted to be known for that and my grandma explained it to me. Just for that reason I was keep going to church, even I called god bs at the age of 4-5 years. But my grandma was awsome, ever since I called god bs she allowed me to take a toy to church and sat with me in one of the back coners, so noone will notice and start talking behing our backs. When my parents divorced at the aged of 7, I immediantly understood everthing and the consequences which will follow with that. Unless you´re not normal, you wouldn´t understand the outfall of a divorce before it actually happens and facing the consequences after it happend and played out. Knowing it my entire life, I should stop fighting and finally get the official diagnose. After what my grandma tought me I was hoping to just slip through undiagnosed no big whoop, but right now I can tell that was an enormous mistake. Trying to hide my authism really caused some very bad things to happend in the past 10 years and trying to fix that when your authist view misleads your extremly on how those things play out. I lost quite some people I liked because I was hiding my authism, it´s time to accept reality and the fact I´m not gonna be able to fool everyone about being "normal" and so many things fall appart because I´m just not the normal person I am trying to make everyone beleave I am, it´s just not working out since my logic doesn´t comply with the worlds "logic" which isn´t logical at all and doesn´t make any real sense to me. Printed toilettepaper rules the world when Plato called it bs and doomed to fail 2000 years ago? For authist, Planet of the Apes isn´t a sci-fi movie, it´s our freakin everydays reality.
[[ Idk, but I originally typed this comment under the post by Orion about a lady vacuuming leaves off her grass...I decided to repost here so I pasted my original comment from there to here]]
Finally after hearing my weekly video therapy sessions at home (aware of and allowed👍🏾😊) my parents began to say they understand me better. My mom recently said she thought about it, prayed about it, and realized: "If you could do better you would." I finally actually felt understood for once in an extremely loooonnngg time!!!!!!! It feels great when important people in your life start to get it. I'm undiagnosed besides anxiety and depression, but am feeling I may be somewhere on the high masking autism spectrum, along with borderline personality disorder as well as adhd. So many pieces fit, but I'm nervous to just bring it up to doctors who may be dismissive.
On my first therapy visit, I was poised and composed, as though it were a job interview. But slowly as I've become more comfortable, and don't fear judgment, my facade has begun(began?,lol) to fade and crack. I've had regressive episodes, also fits of tears and constant nonstop rambling in my sessions and outside. No longer poised and composed. These things may be surprising to my therapist since in our first visit, I told him my purpose is just to get back to my regular self before a huge life changing event happened and my world fell apart. I need to get my hygiene back on track, clean my room, begin working again and driving again. But now, those goals seem farther and farther away as I feel ill-equipped just to deal with daily life tasks.
🤦🏾♀️😮💨🥲😑 I'm just t-i-r-e-d. I'm exhausted but I can't even sleep well enough.
Hi, I just wanted to say thanks for the verification of my various symptoms. I had read about it in the past and so that makes you the second person to give a sort of validation. Either that or I have an assortment of similar but non-related issues like S.A.D. and others. At 60 yrs old it doesn't matter anymore to me but I guess it's better than feeling like I was more unique in my situation. Thanks again and never give up.
i had been seeing your videos in my recommended for a long time but never clicked on them because i didn't want to victimize myself somehow. growing up i always knew something wasn't right but whenever i went to my parents about it i was told i was making excuses and was trying to get out of whatever it was they thought i was trying to get out of.
nearly every single point you made described my issues perfectly and it completely makes sense now. will definitely be going to a psychiatrist
I've been doing tests online recently. The AQ test I scored 40 then 43, RAADS-R I scored 178 then 183 and the aspie quiz I scored 147, pretty high results. My son was diagnosed ASD at 5, he's now 10 and since I've been researching autism to understand it things started clicking, but it's not since the past year n a half watching videos like this with people around about my age sharing their experience that I'm now 100% convinced that I'm on the spectrum. I used to rock myself on the couch and when I was trying to sleep whrn I was younger, I suffered with sever migraines when I was younger and I've always felt like a fish out of water in social situations, constantly going over things again and again in my head, it's exhausting. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but it's certainly more than that now I've watched these videos so thank you🙏
I have test results just a bit lower than yours, but still ASD like-- that is, over the cut-off. BTW, I used to "rock" myself too-- most of the time, to get to sleep; a doc I knew said this was "normal", and not autism behavior (normal for some ppl, I guess!); also, I have migraines. Just saying... interesting. I have ADHD in my family, but not ASD (that I know of!) Also have social problems.
I have PLI and despite lacking many of the symptoms you listed, there some similarities that are really interesting. It's always good to spread awareness because many don't think I have a languages disorder and assume I'm foolhardy and insensitive. Once people get to know us, they'll see you for who you are regardless of these "disabilities"
What is PLI?
Amazes me how it became a thing 30 years ago.. Socialising, going outside & playing would completely vanquish this "Modern Phenomena."
So many do these resonate. A couple that I thought were more obvious signs didn’t, but there’s a lot more that surprised me. I’m not diagnosed, but there’s a LOT of neuro divergent things that grab me/resonate/just make sense or make life make sense since hearing them put a certain way that I’ve not heard them put before. I think growing up we learnt to mask a lot of things to stay ‘out of trouble’ but there’s also a lot that couldn’t be masked that got to a point it was just accepted & perhaps in school you just got ‘painted with that brush’ by a teacher or a number of teachers. Obviously it’s all very individual & I can’t speak for everyone & I wouldn’t want to try, but I can understand how masking can be so well done. It’s damn exhausting though.
I was diagnosed possibly as having high-functioning autism but I need another opinion from an expert. I hate small talk, traffic, bright lights, crowds, too much stimuli causes me stress and agitation. Making friends and keeping them? Spot on! I do interrupt others in conversation but working on that. I like routine as it gives me structure to an otherwise unstructured life-style but I can vary my routine and still be alright. Am looking into micro-dosing shrooms and cutting out alcohol and cannabis. The cannabis has helped me with my anxiety and being able to sleep at night. Alcohol in large amounts can cause me to fall into aggressive, angry behaviors if am not careful.
I don’t take medications because they don’t work for me. I was misdiagnosed my whole life and my whole life I have not been understood by others nor even by myself.
Being alone was an issue in my younger years but as I age, I do find solace in being alone. Its better than fighting and arguing with others.
I also like wide open spaces. Don’t like being cooped up in small, tight, spaces. Being outside in nature and walking does more for me than any medications.
My heightened senses were declared made up, pretend or even hallucinations, as I can smell and hear stuff, others can't.
There was always a difference between subjective sensation that I do experience and objective sensations that I can bring up without getting in trouble for lying.
Now that I know where the difference comes from, I just need to somehow cancel my training in ignoring everything bothersome that I can ignore.
Thank you for your content. I have a friend who is in his 50s and resolutely resistant to my suggestion that he could be autistic. He checks most, if not all, of the signs you mentioned in this video. I had hoped that exploring a diagnosis would be welcome relief to him and allow neurotypicals including me to be more accommodating. Instead his dismissal has only driven a further wedge in our friendship.
It isn’t necessary for him to know for you to understand 😉
That was...a very vast variety of personalities! So glad you gave that disclaimer at the start, you kinda got there though
I’m almost 30, am open about having been diagnosed with autism, and sometimes I still deal with some of these symptoms even during work, especially when I tend to overthink.
Unfortunately, I now hold some animosity for those around me who chose either not to say anything about maybe getting checked out, or not caring enough. Or maybe it’s their incredibly high level of inobservance and/or ignorance. Life has been hard; on the verge of giving in, I’ve found my answer. Thank you
The stereotype and fear holds people back. I spent 3 days crying and when I told a friend I think they're autistic too (like her son), she looked in horror and said "b b but I've got emotions" i felt like saying take at look at me right now, why would I being crying for 3 days if I had no emotions?
@Samara Hamilton I believe Ron means that he is upset that nobody in his life thought to have him checked out or noticed anything was different about him. Parents, teachers, healthcare professionals, etc.
Common sentiment amongst the undiagnosed.
7:55 I assumed women are better at masking in social situations because they tend to be raised with the expectation to be social and make nice. "Say hello to your aunt! Don't be rude. Smile! Keep your voice down."
That was expected of me in my somewhat conservative family. Women were supposed to be the emotional, social partners. Women are the ones who send anniversary cards and organize the parties at work.
I can do small talk, but it's a learned skill and I do feel a little like one of those pull-string dolls with a little bank of random lines. Its tiring and stressful, but in public I take the social lead because my husband is somehow even WORSE at it. We agree we're probably both undiagnosed ASD and I like to joke between us we make exactly one functional adult.
I tick a few of these boxes. I did have a telephone conversation with my GP (post Covid) but he was of the opinion that I suffer from social anxiety rather than some degree of autism. 🤔
Yes, almost all of it ... Not diagnosed. Maybe never will be. Thank you so much!
I have 2 children with autism I’m 50 now with no label but I have struggled through life wondering what’s wrong with me but being around my children has learnt me so much to what ive been going through all these years I’m ok about it just need to realise I’m different and not to stress over and making my feelings worse x
I was diagnosed in my 40s with ADHD/inattentive type. I'm highly sensitive, introverted, and have generalized anxiety disorder. My siblings seem to be on the spectrum and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm autistic too? I'm very much into details as an artist, and at my job. I've experienced meltdowns and feeling overwhelmed by too much stimuli. I've been shamed for being different in school, at work, and even in therapy in years past. I've struggled with being different all my life and so maybe I'm autistic and don't even know it? I've been exploring CZcams videos like yours plus reading about it. Thanks for your sharing your own personal experience and insight. Jenny
I’m grateful my content is helpful for your potential diagnosis journey. Thanks for watching and commenting Jenny.
When you mentioned being shamed in therapy, it reminded me of a therapist I saw for only one session (long before I knew I was on the spectrum): I told her about the problems I was having, while she continually sighed, shook her head, and stopped short of rolling her eyes at me. I know now that the problems I presented to her were mostly ASD-related traits or symptoms, but her response to them was, "You do realize that your behavior is very selfish, not taking into account the people around you," or "The only problem you have is that you're very bad at making decisions." Of course, being naive, I thought she knew me better than I knew myself. I ended up feeling even worse than when I came in, so I decided to never visit her again.
I mentioned that session to a therapist acquaintance a few years ago, and he was shocked. 😳 He said, "Now that sounds like a bad therapist!" Yay--I was glad to have my opinion validated by another therapist.
@@ClearTheRubble7 That does sound like a bag therapist who didn't really see you or listen to you. Also she doesn't sound like she was very self-aware so that she wasn't able to take a step back and observe how she was reacting to you instead of being compassionately attune to you as her client. I'm glad a therapist acquaintance validated your feelings and experience. Jenny 🙂
@@jennyfulcher8035 Thanks! I did see another therapist later on who was more attuned to what I needed, and helped quite a bit.
@@ClearTheRubble7 That's wonderful. I did too years later. Jenny
I was diagnosed two years ago at age 40. I appreciate this video, I wish I had come across it sooner.
I've been wrestling with this for the last few years.
My girlfriend, and my sister have kids on the spectrum. They've told me that they see some traits in me.
When you said clumsiness, it rang quite a large bell. Always dropping keys, catching fingers in door-handles, knocking into things, and poor balance, sometimes I overbalance when I'm standing still.
Like to be alone. Eye contact used to be something I was constantly criticized for. There's a few other things.
Doesn’t sound autistic. Maybe consider if you don’t understand what people are implying or joking about a lot of the time - do those things go right over your head ? My Asperger’s coworker is extremely literal and comes off like a robot.
I got an initial diagnosis of autism at school, but as an adult my new psychiatrist in my new neighborhood identified ADHD after hearing all my struggles. I just started Strattera to trial this week.
I've never heard of Strattera before.
@@sharonspencer2312 It’s official name is Atomoxetine.
It’s difficult to get Ritalin prescribed in Japan unless it’s for Narcolepsy. Adderall is also unavailable here too because it has a controlled substance. 🥲
I love the way you move about after couple minutes, as I get bored quickly. Learning I have autism at 47
I put your playback on 1.5 and your five minute intro still made me crazy. Thank you for diagnosing my autism.
I was diagnosed when I was 17. A little over a year ago, where I was taken into psych for almost making an attempt on my life.
Since my diagnosis I haven't really gotten any help at all.
Everything around me is crumbling now that I am entering the adult world since I never got the help that I needed from an early age.
Sometimes when I speak to my friends on the spectrum I find myself feeling stuck with feelings of jealousy since they got help much earlier than I did and thus they are in a better place in their life in terms of support.
This is the curse of being called "high functioning". Every need that I had, every little quirk I displayed went under the radar and now it feels like I'm stuck in limbo.
I don't know what to do now.
Hey man, there might be good reason to hold resentment and jealousy, life sure isn't fair, but what is it that you are missing? Job opportunities? Financial aid? I get that being diagnosed as a child is better by all accounts but don't let that injustice cloud your vision. Focus on what lies ahead and getting the help you need to get on track. You have a whole life ahead of you my friend
Don’t get stuck in “woe is me” or start playing the victim and getting stuck there. You can do it. You will be fine. I’m 68 and this video is mind blowing cause I identify with every point he makes. I survived with no help at all and you can too. Don’t label yourself because it will hold you back as you think of yourself as “disabled” or something. Get on with doing what you have to do to survive. If you need alone time, take it. At least you have a diagnosis at an early age so you do have a possibility of receiving some help. Consider any help you receive as a bonus. I had to learn myself how to act socially appropriately as best I could. You can learn skills. You have the internet to help you learn things you need to know. That’s an advantage.
@@missmayflower Don't dismiss my struggles as less important just because you are struggling too. It's not a competition.
I don't quite appreciate you pulling the "woe is me" vocabulary on me. You don't know anything about me or how I carry myself.
@@Juenyx I suspect missmayflower, likely on the spectrum herself, used a blunt wording to convey the idea that you'll do more damage to yourself with negative thoughts for yourself than positive ones (the hint of her intentions in the following 'You can do it. You will be fine.' sentences later). She might have been responding to wording like "Everthing around me is crumbling..." which sounds pretty despondent, so she probably wanted to help ('cause... well... I want to help for the same reason, heh). I'm in my mid-50s, and identify with a lot of what was mentioned in this video... maybe I was either misdiagnosed or simply not diagnosed my whole life because, frankly, we just didn't know anything about it. I won't say it was easy for me, but I had to figure out how to adapt on my own. You might need to do the same, but you can very likely do it with some focus on creating workarounds for the painpoints in your life. For example, I had to learn to establish weirdly semi-rigid time schedules; I wake at 2-3am (early riser), drink cold-press coffee at 3-4am, hot-coffee at 4-5am, walk for 30 mins at 7am (when it's warm outside, otherwise this schedule moves to around 3-4pm) then eat some fruit... and so on. The schedule helps me stay calm, organized, and helps me to avoid forgetting certain things. I have specific places I need to put things or I'll have trouble finding them, too (or I would forget them ... like putting things I would need for work near my keys so I won't forget them, since I have to use the keys to drive to work). Just a lot of little tricks I had to figure out on my own that I can do that seems to help, without being too obvious about why I do them. You can adapt. You can find a lot of videos to give you ideas for working around some of the specific challenges you face regularly, I expect. Only other thing I can recommend is to laugh at your own mistakes. If you can learn to see the humor in it, you can lesson their impact in your life, and folks around you will laugh with you, which can be a great feeling!
wow.............!!!! autism has always resonated with me through out my life, only three possible four didnt resonate with me, but everything else did and ive known people like this all my life thanks for putting this out there. very helpful from my cacoon...........
I love your shirt! Cool, thank you for the video. I have about 2/3 of those symptoms. My son is level 3.
My son was diagnosed early on age 2 with Autism and Aspergers with SAD , only when I looked into it further did I realise I too was autistic, I always just put it down to being a not very social person and anxiety and very OCD
I had a psychiatrist talk to for 10 minutes and they diagnosed me with BPD. And I really didn’t understand because I did not identify with all of the things. Like it’s like they don’t even consider that we’re autistic.Not to take away from the suffers with BPD I was just so totally missed diagnosed.
This happened to me also, I'm sorry you went through it too. 😔 I am in the UK.
On a positive note I was diagnosed with bpd however I did meet some of the diagnostic criteria but not all and my psychiatrist at the time was very sceptical of my diagnosis of bpd. I should say importantly my brother has autism, my 2nd child was diagnosed and my 3rd child is on a waiting list for diagnosis, I believe he has pda which is a profile of autism. The signs in myself being autistic just kept coming and over ten years I have pushed for help at different times and i have finally been referred. Xx
The same thing happened to me and when my direct support explained how BPD works I cannot understand what means even when it's explained in a way were I can understand it my autistic brain cannot process it. So far I've been reaching out for doctor but it's hard to find one that also specializes in Autism.
I could sort of relate to one or two of these, but I feel like they were the more generic ones (getting distracted when someone walks into the room and starts talking loudly, or finding it difficult to sit next to a ticking clock, along with poor coordination). None of the rest of it really sounds like me at all. Interesting to know though!
I discovered that the Autism Center at the University of Washington (Seattle, WA) recommends that adults simply self-diagnose Adult Autism. They state there are so few providers to do these evaluations, we shouldn't even try for a professional diagnosis! Wow!
Thank you for the time and effort you've put into making these videos for everyone. This new awareness is awesome! I resonate with so many of these signs. I've not been diagnosed but I just recently found your channel because my sister suspected I could be on the spectrum and I just happened to see one of your videos on my CZcams feed. I decided to watch it just to see what you sounded like?!?! Lol you sound great to me, btw! Anyway, that was about 2 weeks ago and I've been watching yours exclusively ever since. Concerningmeltdowns, one very recent incident comes to mind. I came home from work, kinda stressed but it wasnt a bad day, but alot of stresses had been piling up. I didnt think too much about it because that's my normal way of life, however, when I came in the back door, I found that my laundry room was covered in termites! They were everywhere! So I went about the room trying stone smash them all and get them out. My body is so tense I dont even feel it. The next thing I know I am in the middle of the floor, cradling myself like a baby, hyperventilating, crying and screaming and I just couldnt stop! That went on for about 20 mins all while I'm trying to make myself stop behaving this way! I couldnt! But when it finally subsided, I was just back to normal and that has stuck with me because it wasnt ling ago and I just had no idea where that came from! It's not the first time I've experienced a meltdown like that over something so small. Yea..extremely grateful to you and your videos, they have made me more aware of what autism is and the people who are. I may be a part of this communtiy too!
Fascinating, informative video.
I would question whether an inability to multitask really belongs on this list, because the research actually backs you up. Pretty much no one can multitask, and trying to negatively affects performance and outcomes on each task being attempted. Moreover, switching one’s attention from a given task results in a non-trivial time penalty in trying to return to the same level of performance at that task once it’s resumed.
Multitasking really is a myth for more or less everyone. Attention just doesn’t work the way we all wish it would.
Thank you for this. Maybe I'll get up the guts to ask my husband to watch something like this video. He has used me sharing this kind of thing with him as fodder in his contempt of me. I spend so much of my energy just trying to keep him supported, loved and happy that it's like a slap across the face when he's totally intolerant of my challenges with overload. I try to tell him it's coming on or explain what I need. Someone please pray for us. He says I'm more symptomatic now. I said I'm less angry now and he said that's true. I said it's because I understand what's happening now and I talk about it rather than meltdown (much more of the time. Plus medication to help my seratonin function helped. But now we've had a big move and I've been working my tail off to help him adjust well but not getting the same care in return.) Like I said his intolerance of me is just right below the surface. It's horrible. But if I'm not struggling then he's pleased and doesn't act unfriendly to me.
wow - that really sucks. Ive been married and divorced twice now. Same kind of situation as you described. I went undiagnosed my whole life, my spouses didn't like my eccentric ways and meltdowns. Now, my Rx meds really help keep me stable. I finally met someone who 'got me' and understood my quirks. She has similar ways about her, and sShe actually identified/recognized my Aspergers before I knew what that was. Now I'm clinically diagnosed, she was correct about me! She loves me just the way I am, weirdness, Asperger's and all. Don't know if that is helpful to you, but you are not alone!
Thank you so, so much. You have articulated, beautifully, my boyfriend. Off to see the doc.
I (22, female) only recently came to the conclusion that I might be autistic but already made an appointment with my psychiatrist. Realizing that I even lie or just don't tell things because they could seem weird was quite a bit to take in. When it comes to meltdowns or shutdowns, I always thought I'm just a bad person for reacting like an idiot, lashing further out because people punished me for it. A few days ago I was looking for my shoes but unfortunately I had put them somewhere differently than usual and totally lost it when I couldn't manage to find them. After my friend found them for me, I still had to sit down and take time for myself before we got to the store. These little things ruin everything for me, if it wasn't for the support of my friend, I wouldn't have gone out at all after this. We both know I react that way to some incidents or if something gets interrupted, she took me how I am right from the beginning. I just hope I can find my official *why* - no matter how long it'll take me to walk that path.
My ex probably had that too... She would go nuts! A. Pathological liar
I’ve just had the first assessment session, waiting for date of my second. No question of it at all, in my mid 40s now and going so long struggling has totally destroyed what could of been a great life. All that stress hasn’t just messed with my head but it’s wrecked me physically in places that cannot repair. Getting the gps to refer me for assessment was horrific and took many many years of been treated like crap by them, and then a few more year for the first assessment to be offered to me. Not sure where I go from here, if only I knew 30 years ago what I know now.
I hate loud noises like pressure washers gunning on a lovely day. Cars idling with heavy bass and I can get dizzy from the monoxide when I go in my garden. I can't wear tight socks. No longer wear tight clothes as I would in my younger days. I get agitated from beeping noises. I think all my life I took people at their word because I never lie. I am over 60 now and realized how my life unfolded. I could mask it most of the time. I was like a social butterfly when I was young...now it's different. I don't even want to participate, just stay home. I have a lot of physical pain. My garden is my sanctuary. I enjoy my hummingbirds. I play my old records when I hear noise out there. I play it loud!
Im disinterested, uncomfortable in conversation or small talk. Not literal, i obsess on things if it interests me. Im a loner.very introverted,don't pick up on people's signals. Hard to make friends. Ive always believes i was different. Like wearing an ill fitting tshirt and i self medicated with drugs to shut my head up. Ive learned to shut it up by meditation and mindfulness. I cant look at people or hold eye contact. Social awareness is overwhelming. I like to know if someone is coming to see me well in advance. It throws me if they just turn up 😅
Holy shit... Every single point you mentioned was me. Every single one. I always suspected. I always felt different or odd in comparison to others. This blew my mind. Time to see the gp. Thank you for your efforts in putting this here.
I am in the process of officially obtaining a diagnosis, and like you I would like to advocate for autism particularly for us adults who have gone through life with certain repeated communication issues but it only came together under the banner of autism spectrum from the mid to late 1980’s and 90’s, and it was due to marriage issues that I consulted a psychologist as our GP’s don’t have adequate education to even suspect it. They may diagnose Dyslexia, ADD or ADHD, or suspect other neurological disorders, but I am thankful for the diagnosis. When I was growing up by kindergarten or the 1st grade I had reading issues on top of being completely ambidextrous and my GP told me to pick a hand and use it to read left to right. In later life I studied Japanese and it is interesting that signs on truck can be written forwards or backward left to right right to left, horizontally and vertically. I would definitely like to coordinate and cooperate on raising awareness and acceptance of ASD as I’m certain we have had incidents in early life that were dead giveaways that we are neurodivergent. I’m into the 3rd of 6 official tests I must go through to obtain official certification. PS. I just turned 65 years old, and my unofficial diagnosis occurred in 2021.
Respectfully,
Kerry M. Berger I am in the process of officially obtaining a diagnosis, and like you I would like to advocate for autism particularly for us adults who have gone through life with certain repeated communication issues but it only came together under the banner of autism spectrum from the mid to late 1980’s and 90’s, and it was due to marriage issues that I consulted a psychologist as our GP’s don’t have adequate education to even suspect it. They may diagnose Dyslexia, ADD or ADHD, or suspect other neurological disorders, but I am thankful for the diagnosis. When I was growing up by kindergarten or the 1st grade I had reading issues on top of being completely ambidextrous and my GP told me to pick a hand and use it to read left to right. In later life I studied Japanese and it is interesting that signs on truck can be written forwards or backward left to right right to left, horizontally and vertically. I would definitely like to coordinate and cooperate on raising awareness and acceptance of ASD as I’m certain we have had incidents in early life that were dead giveaways that we are neurodivergent. I’m into the 3rd of 6 official tests I must go through to obtain official certification. PS. I just turned 65 years old, and my unofficial diagnosis occurred in 2021.
Respectfully,
Kerry M. Berger
Thank you for sharing!
I've been in the mental health system since I was 10 and I just found out I have autism in my late 30s. They diagnosed me with everything you can think of. It caused me to get PTSD because I'd get in trouble at school every day it seemed which made my parents mad at me and they thought it was tied to me smoking weed and stuff but I turned to substances so I could try to go into these environments without having a panic attack. I literally meet all of the requirements of autism. I am so upset when I think about stuff like me being put on anti psychotics when I was like 12 because that probably messed up my development.
I can relate to this. I started abusing substances at a young age in order to deal with challenges I faced, which led me down a rough road. I got clean in 2017 and realized why I had been self medicating in the first place. Needless to say, I avoid social interaction like the plague now. Friends, family, doesn’t matter. I have to force myself to visit them and the stress it causes makes it not worth it to me. But I do it to maintain some semblance of connecting in a typical way.
I’m autistic and I’m an adult! I want a boyfriend or friends who are just like me. I have social anxiety but I’m getting a lot better. I’ve been told I’m blunt. I’m very honest.
I think those are great traits. The "social games" that people play are honestly very dumb and are often acts of insecurity and confusion. At least from my view & experience. The social norms and etiquette we have established and perpetrate are often just barriers that we raise to keep each other at bay. Quite honestly - people who are completely "normal" are either very conforming and cowardly or are extremely shallow &/or manipulative.
My advice: just keep being you and find others like you, as you said, chances are that you will have way better friends than most in the end. True friendships.
I know Ive always hated "eye contact", it feels so uncomfortable to look in people's eyes when i talk to them and it always felt like a punishment if they insisted on it, sure if Im in love with someone I may look in their eyes a little, but its just really stressful and feels like a form of being violated to be forced to look into peoples eyes and what sucks is it makes people think you are either lying or evading the truth or that you dont like them. I'll never understand how people can do it all day long!
One thing that really triggers my autism, is when people take forever to get to the bloody point.
😂😂
@@fishypaw 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I first started to suspect something like autism when I read my childhood report cards, dating back to the '60's. Back in those days, in my part of the US, the teachers would grade us and also add comments. Most of the comments to my parents said things like, "He always seems to be a thousand miles away." "He rarely participates in class." "He's always staring out the window, not paying attention." "He's such an oddball." (Sorry, I made up that last one...). I also remembered my dad constantly grabbing my hands to stop their repetitive motions. It got to the point where I would walk around with my thumbs tucked in my clenched hands--and my dad would then pull my fingers open.
As an adult, I no longer do the visible stimming. Instead, I constantly run songs through my head and talk to myself out loud when I'm sure no one's around.
Lol. I had a teacher comment at high school - he (me) is an arsehole (asshole), on my report card. I've kept most of my report cards coz I find it funny... and in this case the teacher was correct and being honest.
I replaced stimming with negative stimming - smoking etc.
@@rahowherox1177 Yes, I got into negative stimming habits too and slowly over time got out of them. Fortunately, I hated smoking cigarettes right from the start, so that only lasted a few months. (Not the other kind of smoking, though, lol.) And as for being an arsehole, I never wanted to be one, but I ended up "accidentally" insulting people just by stating what I thought were facts. 😳 Prime example: I had to read about mountain gorillas for an anthropology class on the same day I was going to have my first date with a woman at work. Of course, I couldn't keep my mind on the book, so I closed it and went to my work place--a restaurant. I knew she was working that day, so I sat with her at one of the tables, feeling extremely nervous, and said, "I was just at school reading about mountain gorillas, and all I could think of was you." That was a long time ago, but I still remember her face turning red and me making things worse trying to explain what I meant. Needless to say, we never went on any dates....🤣
@@ClearTheRubble7 I can do similar... but if a teacher embarrassed me or treated me different, I'd torment and tease them... some broke down... a couple attacked me.
It's funny how in school autism can manifest so differently. I was always just called quiet and polite, and my grades were always good. But internally I felt like a prisoner. Like I was just capitulating with my captors. Politeness is like a defense mechanism for me now. To put distance between myself and others as well as preventing conflict. It was politeness for survival, not true politeness.
I have a lot of resentment towards school lmao. I'm 27 now and I still compulsively call people sir or ma'am, to the point where today I say it to people younger than me often.
i can defintely relate to almost all of these. the routine thing isnt a huuuuge issue but can bother me sometimes. ive been learning to let go and breathing a ton.
I want to say something about connection and communicating. It is important for me, bcz with the lack of nuance and gendered perspective, many people like me, will struggle for many years around the concept of neurodivergence, without being able to clearly identify with it. So, as a woman I made many many friends and I am able to keep strong connections; this aspect made me completely run out the possibility of me having autistic traits. But! Now, looking closer, I see what I did and what my behavioural pattern was. I go straight to deep conversation, emotional and intellectual with people I resonate with. This helps me form strong bonds, stemming from the fact that these type of conversations are forging intimacy and proper "knowing of each other". Now, looking closer at this behaviour, I noticed that I am completely unknowing and robotic in shallow, small talk conversation. I am basically unable to properly small talk communicate and to form any kind of relation with people that are not in some way or another, queer, intellectual or artistic (maybe many of them, neurodiverse themselves). This is how I sneaked and adapted to my needs all my life. I noticed how much I struggle only when I changed countries and had to interract more at a superficial level, also with usual people and lacking the vocabulary for complex expression which was exasperating. When I am enough rested and after enough alone time, I manage to interract with any kind of people, but I notice how I try to sway them "my way", going at least one-two level deeper into the meaningfulness of the conversations, which is more comfortable for me. Another aspect that I want to stress out is the fact that most of my friends, although also intellectual, artist or queer, being women, they share the common pronness for deeper intellectual and/or self reflective conversation. I think women tend to be more oriented towards this in general. I think we need a more nuanced description of how relationships and connections are made in the neurodiverse community. // it was weird and unfair to ruled it out just because I really successfully thrived in this area. Communication is also one of my professions. On the other hand I am the same person who vomited or melted down many times because my systems couldn't handle the amount of human interaction and flow of information from people, in combination with other overwhelming stimuli...
It’s kinda like the only social interaction I’m good at is with my husband. My children think I’m weird and they dismiss me before I even say or do anything.
Starts @4:45
God bless
Another great video, thanks :)