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Narcissist, Is it a personality or a choice?
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- čas přidán 18. 02. 2024
- Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
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It's a choice. They know what they do, they enjoy it & they are proud of it.
Mental health disorders are not by choice. Npd is a mental health disorder. This false self disorder was developed as a child. It's a choice of theirs to manipulate to lie cheat etc
Proud any time they feel control over others. A sick form of self-validation.
Agree😭
If you think they have no control over their behavior, it’s easier to cope with. But they know how to behave around others. This means they are well aware of what they are doing.
❤❤❤exactly
Yep❤
Selective charm
@@Music1art Npd is a mental health disorder. Mental health disorders are not by choice. The victims of abuse the narcissist developed this as a child in response to abuse. The child developed a false self as a response to abuse. The child didn't just say I think I will give up my original genuine self for a bogus false self. This happens when a child is abused. Saying that it's their choice is like saying the child chose to be abused so to intentionally become a narcissist.
Exactly. 🎯💯
Definitely a choice! They choose to pour on the charm or professional demeanour whenever necessary. I do believe they suffer from arrested development though because when they are pushed back against or stressed, they go full toddler! 😂
BAM!!! Straight up!
❤❤❤❤THAT A SHOW, RIGHT? THE NARC I DIVORCED, PUT ME INTO A SHELTER AND IM STARTING FRESH, LIKE TINA TURNER, KEPT THE BUSINESS NAME. TOLD SATAN IN FRONT OF JUDGE, THAT HE CAN HAVE IT ALL!!! I BUILT GOTHAM ONCE, I WILL BUILD IT AGAIN. I WILL BUY IT FOR A DOLLAR AFTER HE LOOSE IT, OH HE HAS A YOUNG THING.
Yes.. Exactly..
They choose it. They can switch it up when in public
It shows who they are by the way they treat people the way they do. They know what they are doing. They don't care at all if they hurt us.
Think they enjoy having our pain as their pleasure. Know all too well, my mother’s sadistic antics
The look in their eyes as they make you bend to their will tells me it's a choice for sure.
From my experience, Narcissism seems to be a predisposition with an opportunistic component. Narcs are not toxic to everyone , they chose the easy targets in situations which they are dominant.
"Chose" being the operative word.
Agree. My impression is there's a lot of learned behaviour, too. Dad did it that way (or mum) - and it worked for them.
They target and use other people.They choose to do this. Out in public, they can act normal. Behind closed doors, they abuse partner and children.
They choose to act this way and know the difference between right and wrong.
Yes totally true.
Any time you find joy out of someone else's pain it's considered cruelty. I believe that's a sick choice.
I've heard both sides . .. the side that pretends to care and the side bragging and taunting saying they aren't capable of caring emotions.
I remember I was crying and my mother was laughing she the one cause me the pain.. They or sick!
Exactly,they are evil they choose to to be abusers,they know what is right and what is wrong,if they didin't know they would be doing it openly for everyone to see and not behind closed doors,which is why the covert narc comes to you as your biggest ally and friend and not as your open enemy.
@@Music1artI agree. But also I believe its demonic possession as well as childhood trauma and free will of choice. Also through generational blood line. The good the bad and the ugly are inherited. We all choose which we allow to manifest ultimately
Yap Sick twisted...evil people coward they are just brave to those whom they can manipulate but in truth they are coward
It's a CHOICE! They chose to sell their soul. 🔥🔥👿🔥🔥
Mental health disorders are not a choice. Npd is a mental health disorder
It's ABSOLUTELY a choice!
They can "suddenly " change when the cop's come to the door, or when they're trying to impress friend's and neighbors. 🤢🤮☠️💩🤡🤡🤡
Omg! Yes!
My ex once jokingly told me that he enjoys piling the pressure/abuse on his victims until they break . . . and beg for peace at whatever cost . . . even if it means compromising their values and principles. So yes ,it's a choice . . .
ESPECIALLY if you compromise yourself. They LOVE that. Often that's the game.
@@mrsherwood2599 I tried to compromise my principles and values as a last ditch attempt to save the marriage by giving in to the idea of an open marriage . . . He had been cheating all along . . . So , I thought we could Live apart together . . . I couldn't hack it . . . I was dying slowly but surely . . . I packed up n left and have never looked back . . . I cannot imagine getting into another relationship or marriage ever again . The thought of it just drains me . . . No . Let me be alone happily thereafter . . . I am enjoying the solitude . . .
They choose pride and refuse self reflection. Therefore they can never repent, so they are not walking with God but with darkness. Another excellent video, thank you
They choose to grab control and power over other vulnerable people. They practice their ma nipulation skills to exploit others. It's a choice.
Both narcissists I dealt with had fathers who are narcissist, however, they are very much aware of their evil 👿 abusive behaviour.
I believe it is a choice. What's right is right, whats wrong is wrong. There is good and evil and they know the difference. They are 100% responsible for their actions, here and in the hearafter.
They are deliberate and intentional and don't care if you get hurt...which makes it evil.
I agree with the majority, it's a CHOICE. I think, because they treat everyone so differently, they know how to play the game! I can't imagine treating people like they do.
Its a choice if not they wouldn't know when to lie.
Yes, that's exactly correct. And I would also add, dishonesty is a chronic habit of narcissists. In time, lying can become so habitual that a narcissists can do it without even thinking first, or without any reason to lie, or when nothing is gained by lying.
Perhaps people of light expose those who are of darkness. We're like a light house in their presence constantly shining light on their actions.. so obviously they don't want us there.
It’s the absence of the Holy Spirit, period
My Dad ... continuously B!tched about my abusive grandmother's crap .... simultaneously ..... treats others precisely the way he complains about her treating others.
People who constantly say that it’s a disorder are those who are unwilling to take responsibility for their own behavior
Agreed it's a choice. I had to decline attending a family funeral today because the monkeys are already flying. No More!
Glad that you have that strength, and knowledge to protect yourself. Sorry for your loss.
So sad, the destruction they cause.
These evil narcissists made the choice to embrace darkness. They are evil to the core. We as empaths cannot do anything to change the free will of anyone.
I had one in my life. A religious fanatic. I have seen it coming from people who call themselves christians.
Exactly. When exposed to abuse and trauma, some people become more empathic/kind, and others choose to become abusive.
"Get them before they get me" is a choice.
Empaths are narcissists 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@GenZMother are you talking about yourself?
@@stephanniekotalik9339 Definitely not. Empath is terminology made up by a gaslighting narcissist. If you really felt what I feel then you wouldn’t be passive aggressive.
So true, they chose to be evil and evil uses them. The thing that gets me the most is that narcs believe their lies, the father of lies is the devil.
Excellent Question! I think we give them too many excuses as to the way they behave. But, I have seen them change their behavior in seconds! Causes me to think they are just plain vile, toxic, abusers. I was abused during childhood and would never treat anyone the way they treat people.
They are enabled. But, when we wake up from their spell, we learn, grow, and go! That's the only way to save yourself.
I know that they know that they are choosing the wrong, because they can and do change it when circumstances call for it. The better question is, why do I have to be punished by their behavior.
I have also seen it as the repetitive choice to reject God. As Pharaoh hardened his heart then God hardened his heart.
I would pray for my spouse, to then see God answer and bring a person with the solution that would be rejected and refused over and over. Finally at the end of our marriage he told me the one thing that would save our marriage was for me to give up all my God stuff. This was a man who went to the altar with me professing faith in Christ. No love of God in his heart. All a lie and a false front and narrative. Now I cry out to God for all our children who have nominal faith and live under lies and deception. I pray I will have the courage, wisdom and faith to trust God and that He will raise up a man of God to fight with me for the saving of this family.
I understand. I feel like I was tricked, fooled. He became an atheist! That was the beginning of his sick, abusive cruelty. He embraced very dark music, and behaviors.
Maladapted defense mechanisms. Could be a disorder. Many aspects seem to be a choice, but they also have the emotional maturity of a toddler (perhaps a child or a teenager) and lack the ability to self-reflect.
Wow. Well said.
Sometimes I think, when I think of a raging narcissist as a "toddler" I'm actually insulting toddlers. I've known some very empathic toddlers...... Perhaps "infantile" is really the more accurate age range and fits with the theory that narcissists' development is arrested at the attachment phase (< 12 months).
Since I can remember as a small child, my older sibling was always paying mean and curl “ jokes” on me… now in adulthood she’s a narcissist..
NPD is a personality disorder.
"Narcissism" is an observation, not a diagnosis, of a chronic pattern of narcissistic traits.
The personality disorder is not a choice, but narcissistic behaviors are a choice since they change based on who's watching.
Right on.. so many people are saying npd is a choice. Npd is a mental health disorder. Mental health disorders are not by choice. They fail to grasp the npd originated as the narcissist was a child in response to abuse. A child doesn't just chose to be a narcissist and sacrifice the original self for no reason. They do this as a response to abuse.
I raised a pit bull from 1 month to 17 years old. He died of old age. Sweetest dog ever. It's not the breed. Got a shelter dog that was severely abused. She is a good dog. Took a while to get her to trust. Sweetest dog ever.
What does that have to do with the topic at hand?
Indeed, many dogs which are predisposed to aggression, or who have spent time in a severely abusive situation, can be "loved" such that they are able behave and trust. With narcissists, however, this is not how it works. Narcissists exist to avoid exposure and vulnerability of their deeply shame-based fragile ego. Dogs do not have this type of ego.
"To love and be loved, we must suffer the shame and indignity of being truly seen for who we are, and this of all things [a narcissist] could never allow to happen." -- The Little Shaman
Always a choice on how you treat others...even if you are burning 🔥 with pain inside 😊...Good people don't hurt people..Narcs are evil and they like where they are and know what they are doing
It's a choice. God measures us on our acts. That means we are responsible for what we do. It's OUR CHOICE !
Yes, it’s a choice, however, they are deceivers and pray on people with charm to trap them! You believe they are being honest until falling into their web of gaslighting and underlying jokes of making fun of you!👎🏻😢
Npd is a mental health disorder developed as a child in response to abuse. Mental health disorders are not a choice.
Hey Marc
It's a choice _ if u were raised in it _ it takes time and experience and Jesus to figure this out. Many people are brainwashed in this catch 22.
@@tmking7483 npd is a mental health disorder mental health disorders are not a choice.
Superb video! I agree, they have a choice in most cases. There is an argument that says we have free will to the extent to which we know ourselves (Alan Watts, I believe. RIP) .. they say narcs are empty shells with no self but they observe, strategise and show intentionality. Life is complicated but they know what they are doing.
It’s definitely a choice. We all make choices every second of the day. We make good choices or bad choices. Good and evil exist just like night and day, happiness and sadness, hot and cold, etc people have been brainwashed by psychology.
Yup. The ICD-9 code for narcissistic personality disorder is basically a number for actuaries to tally "evil" for insurance payment purposes.... LOL!
My husband said no matter how messed up he was feeling, he always knew he had a choice.
Now that I have listened to you, I did one thing ,I stayed in the room all the time just to avoid her,at night when I could hear her snoring I went to the kitchen, grabbed a slice of bread,cup of tea.I put my suitcase ,chair.up against the door, afraid she might come in, I had three weeks of this.,waiting for my flight home, never again, contact cut. Evil at it's best.
If you see a man treating other men as equal, but then treating women - esp his partner - as lesser, or worse, with contempt, it is a choice. If he can walk on an equal footing with a male, then he can certainly do so with a female, he just chooses not to. More than that, it makes it clear that this is the type of person who is not happy unless they have someone to dominate, someone that they can emotionally (and sometimes even physically) trample to lift themselves and their spirits up. Sadly, it is a real thing that there are many, many men who believe that women are inferior to men, and that they are to live subserviently and submissively towards the dominant men in their lives. They will never ask you if this is the type of relationship you want (I would have definitely said NO!), but worse, they lure you in by making you believe that things will be equal between you two, but then it slowly morphs into where you walk on eggshells around them, and live in fear of p*ssing them off. When you accidentally do, they will rage at you and call you a bunch of awful things, then turn around a few minutes later and claim they never did anything like that, and they love you so much. Pretty soon you are so turned around that your head is spinning like a doll in a horror movie🧐, and you go on trying to survive the relationship from there when you should have been trying to figure your way out. You can't love someone out of treating you abusively. It is heartbreaking, but they will treat you according to what is in THEIR heart, not yours. 🥺
Perfectly stated!
Thanks for sharing this, and it's very true. It is mostly women (and trans people) who get abused by their partners. They are always so different in the beginning, in that love bombing stage, and then they breadcrumb you and gaslight you into staying when the relationship no longer serves you and only stresses you out further.
I personally don't care if it's a disorder or not. I just want to never ever date another one. My dad was one and I dated 4 in a row. Healing yourself and avoiding being near narcs is for me far more important
He could turn it on an off at will, within seconds, depending on the audience. Absolutely deliberate. Verdict: evil.
I think it is a choice, because a narcissistic person can pitch their behaviours carefully dependant on who they are with, they can be seriously emotionally, psychologically and mentally breaking their partner down...the person they profess to 'care about' outside, and they can be running to help a stranger to look like the "good guy," nice person....outside. sadly I think they are just deeply callous, selfish individuals who see everyone and everything directly in relation to what they can gain from ...
I was 5 years old and I was manipulating smaller children. I’m not a narcissist but I remember what it felt like to make someone happy or sad and how easy it was for me to do when I was trusted. At 5 years old I knew this and I also felt that it was real wrong. THEY KNOW just like I did. THEY HIDE just like I did. We have no clue when the mind reprobates itself. I imagine if I continued on that dark path, I’d be a narcissist. Evil is real. I know.
A shark does not have a disorder. It is a shark!
They're very much aware of what they're doing .
Kevin. This is great. Love your delivery and details of what we each know. Point blank and spot on. A sinister choice. Such manipulators.
I’d say it’s both. The disorder is something that develops in childhood in response to a dysfunctional family system, and but in adulthood they choose the same malignant behavior despite the damage it causes because it’s what they know, and they refuse to change despite the consequences of their actions.
You just nailed it!!!
Many people had terrible childhoods, but they choose not to hurt others.
SO true. It is a coping mechanism. But as an adult we are all responsible for our choices and behaviors. They know it is wrong and choose to continue with evil behaviors.@@Klikka1
TRUTH❤
@@Klikka1 It dependson the personality of the child. You know some people can manage the darkness better than others. (And the even become empaths - I am one of them - so I know). But others just can´t ... and they create a false-friend so to say ( a false-self). They switch it with their real self. And people like them for that (they are more liked - even if they are fake)... So they just stay that way (they know what they do but there are hardly ever consequences for them - so it goes on and on. Sadly they leave a lot of hurt people behind).
By choice- As Sam Vaknin says in his Video "Bullying as Art, Abuse as Craftsmanship" ... Bullies are proud of their achievements when it comes to inflicting emotional abuse.
Also Bita Saviss .."Bullies are Psychopaths who recruit others to do their bidding"
So true! My now-ex used to tell me stories about how he and his friends bullied kids at school for being overweight or socially awkward. He said all this with a smile on his face. So clearly he was proud of his behavior.
Indeed, both of your stories are consistent with what is known as the "narcissistic smirk", a look of satisfaction a narcissist has for feeling like they have the upper hand over their target for having abused them.
@@danielkaiser8971 That smirk! Once you see it...Omg. 😱 Run!
It is hard. Because I also have narcissist tendencies without even realizing it until I stop and ask myself how I would feel if someone did or said “that” to me. I think the difference is that I am truly sorry and endeavor to make things right and I am working hard to be and show more gratitude and less attitude when dealing with people that are simply just lost. On the other hand the twisting in my life is one of the most determined to be right knowing he is dead wrong but will turn life completely inside out to make certain he is right and I am going to be punished for his sins until the end. I have never encountered anyone again or since more deadly than this man. HE CHOOSES TO BE THIS WAY. He could just as easily say I’m sorry for causing so much pain. We were married 20 years. We’ve lost 2 children. The pain is endless and haunting if I let it be. I work like a warrior to keep going.
People do not have to be narcissists to pick up (learn) narcissistic behaviors in a toxic situation. You can tell the difference when the person is finally out of the toxic situation and has had sufficient time to heal enough, the learned behaviors fade away. With a narcissist, the behaviors pervade all areas of life for the entire lifetime, nearly always becoming worse with age.
Thank you both cause I have narcissistic traits but I'm an empath...
Its at 55 years of age , after leaving a 23 year marriage to a narc , that I have realized that my " loving " dad was an malignant narcissist, if thats the worst level of narcissism. I feel so sad for my mum . . . They are both gone now . . . But as I heal from my abuse , my dad's horrible behaviour towards mum is starting to add up . . . I didn't understand it as a child . . . I just lived in fear of losing mum . . . I don't remember being happy in my childhood or adulthood . I feel angry , sad at the life my mum lived . But she has rested . . . I am fighting to be at peace with that . . . We are 7 children . . . and all of us got high blood pressure at the age of 18 . . . right up to now . . . 4 of married narcs and the marriages broke . My eldest brother was also severely abused . . . He has never gotten married . . .
God bless you. You are precious in His sight. He loves you the way a true father should.
Thank you, Kevin. This makes since now. You give me strength to continue my plan to leave him. Married 18 months. Covert narcissist before marriage. Total abuse verbally, emotionally, physically. I'm working the plan. God bless you for helping us.
It is a choice because I’ve watched my narc mother for years and she can turn it on and off when certain people are around. Can not wait to leave n never look back…
My younger brother was a psychopath. He would tell you ehat worked for him--- and he was good at validation.
Our aunt, a psychiatric socialworker, told me about himcdecades ago. He would get upset if he was questioned. He told me that a pschologist that he went to explsined to him that he was a victim of psychological abuse as a kid. He said our parents lied to us.
I do not recall our parents ever lying to us.
Social worker red flag iv never met a social worker who wasn't a far left white man hating narcassist commie family hating goverment agent social services are corrupt as hell
This has me crying 😢. I feel ashamed and helpless. I have been looking at it as a disability or an illness and that has kept me in this relationship for too many years to mention. If it's not an illness then I threw away 35 years of my life. My mind is exploding and my heart is hurting right now.
Wasted 12 years of mine, I know how you feel.
I have 28 years and finally out.@@dragongamerboi13
Please be kind to yourself. You didn't know -- most of us have been there, most of us have spent years trying to help a loved one who was a lost cause and could only hurt or use us in return. You have gained some wisdom from understanding now, use that. Forgive yourself and take comfort in the Lord, and find peace there.
Sending you strength ❤ I'm so sorry that you've experienced this pain. Watching this channel has been very helpful for me during my journey. I'd also recommend checking out survivingnarcissism with Dr. Carter. I've found that his ideas have also given me strength & tools to work with.
@@drea4195 Thank you for the encouragement. May God continue to strengthen and empower you on your journey.
Truth 💯 Cboice narcissist vet hou to feel sorry for them tell you all the horrible things that happened to them and then proceed to treat you like shit. Let that make sense
THEY HATE THEMSELVES. ARE SELF-ABSORBED. AND THEY TREAT OTHERS LIKE GARBAGE
I believe that it's a combination of elements depending upon the individual. Yet, distance is seemingly best for after 50 years it doesn't get better!
True, 40 yrs for me, not going to 50! Yay💪
I ascertained the situation. Outsiders can say it was dementia. That dementia can start 15 years before a person finally passes. That it affects all of its victims differently.
And I’ve seen a couple. My grandmother had it. It was mostly memory loss. My stepfather had it and he definitely became demented.
But, my mother? She may have had some form of dementia. But the abuse began probably 10-15 years before her death and, if she did have it, it wasn’t her biggest issue. That sounds unbelievable. But, what I think I saw was someone who “might’ve been going through some type of change - but it didn’t affect her ability to launch an intellectual property case against a company, didn’t stop her from paying her bills, keeping her lights and phone on, paying her property taxes, she wasn’t having issues getting around, except that she never had a driver’s license, and she certainly wielded an increasing, unwavering campaign against me, that was strategic enough to straddle the line between morality and legality. Between me being abused and it being insidious enough, that I didn’t know she was attempting abuse, for a number of years, until it became bad and obvious.
A lot of people would say that, during the 4 last years of her life, after I left, they definitely saw signs of memory loss and confusion. Maybe. I wasn’t there. I’d offered to take her to see a psychotherapist and/or neurologist. Only thing she was interested in was getting giddy over trying to turn my life upside down. You might ask if I have any tangible proof? Yes, I do. Emails. In cleaning up her house and looking at my phone, I look at emails, from around the time I left. I’ve shown a couple to others. What dementia?
So, to the question of whether it’s a disability, disorder or choice, speaking for her situation, I believe it was a choice. I believe it was a rageful choice. A choice that, instead of living out her life, in the best way she could, with someone who loves her dearly and wanting to help her, she decided I was a good candidate for being abused and had magical thinking, that I had no choice, but to stay. She thought she could just keep getting away with things, without repercussion. Miscalculation.
Excellent & well done. Much respect for your strength💖
@@writeousone8749 thank you.❤️
They Choose to act like a devil
Intimidation, manipulation and domination is witchcraft.
I agree. In my own situation I'm reminded of Anne Rice's, Lasher. Toby was a familiar spirit that passed to one of the women from each generation of the Mayfairs.
Absolutely this is the witchcraft what they are doing : gaslighting and twisting the truth, lie ,destroy you with lies .
My father and two of my siblings, all highly intelligent and accomplished narcissists, did the same thing. They turned the tables on good people they married and associated with, turning on the charm with their intelligence, accomplishments, and implied willingness to ingratiate themselves to gain favor with good people. Once my relatives got close to these good people, BAM! Out came the abuse, lies, and contempt to control and dominate the very people they claimed to love. Some escaped the grasp of my relatives. Some did not. I have lifelong experience with my relatives, which is why I no contact with any of them.
At some point they come to an agreement about what THEY ARE GOING TO DO TO YOU.TRUE
Until now, the most enlightening answer I heard is : yes, they know what they're doing, but they don't know why...
Actually, they do know why -- they simply don't care.
Compare a shark to a dolphin. A shark does not have a disability (just because it’s not docile like a dolphin). IT IS A SHARK!
Yet dolphins have been legends as far as saving human beings from getting eaten by sharks. Reports of them ramming that predator with its nose
*My opinion: They are not human!*
They analyze very precisely, how you act and react etc.
And I watched a Video, the Presenter told, they are here, they live among us and watching our behaviour..
~~~
My experiences tells me, he is right.. There is something wrong/up!
They're demons.
@@nomadicgamer9466 They may be human, but they have embraced, and taken the demons into themselves.
They are human but taken over by evil becos they chose evil always coscience turned dark by always choosing evil..
I call them not narc but COWARDS DUWAG in tagalog becos they just do that to those whom they can manipulate...but if u become strong already becos u learned about all the stuff and u better urself then nobody can ever manipulate u anymore u become stronger courageous genuinely kind forgiving but with boundary becos God helped u thru thick and thin then u can say thanks be to God for the help to get out from that filth becos without the help of God u can never escape it's so hard ..always acknowledge God thanks Him He's the SAVIOR
Yup. I read from Sam Vaknin that narcissists has a table of emotions. They will choose the right emotion to project at a certain circumstance. They will also mimic you. They can an alien or just pure evil.
I believe it is a disorder, but definitely not a disability. I think the inability to put one self in the shoes of others (that is empathy) is a disorder/disability, but being evil is entirely a choice. If someone is incapable of empathy, they would never cross the threshold of NPD unless they make the choice to be evil... therefore narcissism is definitely a choice, and IMO it belongs more in the Criminal Code than in the DSM.
This is what kept me trapped for so long. Genuinely felt terrible they had some uncontrollable disorder that made them have zero self awareness and inevitably made relationships impossible for them. After a bit more research and really stories on Reddit giving me so much insight on how narcs themselves admit they think on threads as well as other experiences etc, I finally put 2 and 2 together and realized no one can stay with these people because they know exactly what their doing , and their dreammmm is to have you thinking they don’t. What helped me is also realizing if they truly have memory issues so bad they don’t know what they’re doing, that can actually be nothing short of dangerous for many reasons. I’ve cut my entire family off and life has been better since.
Cain killed his brother out of jealousy, due to envy. It was understandable to see Cain's disappointment, but he didn't have to act with malice.
Our mother was a full-blown narcissist, no doubt. She did all she could to train all of us kids to be like her, and she succeeded with at least one of us, and it seems he even carried the genetic preponderance to be so.
The reason I think it may be a choice is, they can be really horrible until a visitor shows up and then watch the transformation! So sweet, like butter wouldn't melt in their mouth. If they had a mental condition, I doubt it would change, it would always be the same.
It’s abuse
🎯💯👍
My X is a genetic narc. There is a malformation of the brain confirmed but that doesn't let him off the hook before man or God. Getting away came way too late. I am not just a survivor but an overcomer. PTL.
That’s right, the brain of a psychopath or narcissist works differently
In my life there has been a ton of things in my personality that needed refining. The word says “There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is destruction”. I think this goes for unlovely personality traits as well. There were things I truly desired to be changed in me and God met me there. Praise God I am not the person I use to be. I believe however, there’s just something in a narcissist that resist paradigm shifts.
When a woman told me "I will never try to understand these people", it unlocked a box for me
There is such a thing as Natural Law that God imbues every soul. Whether you hear the gospel or not you know what's right and what's wrong. They Know !!!
They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, by choice, and "He handed them over to a reprobate mind". *See Romans 1
You out here saving lives!!!! God Bless you and your family ❤
If the narc is created due to trauma in childhood, then I don't believe they had a choice at that time. My question is, was there a choice for them to make at some point after that?
Narcissists choose how to behave within a fixed narcissistic mindset that lasts a lifetime, but they do not choose to be narcissists.
Interesting take. Probably true.@@danielkaiser8971
They know exactly what they are doing . We all have a choice . . . That's why we have self aware narcs on the path to recovery . .
We all have a choice to make. ❤
No because they lost their true self in childhood. But that doesn´t mean that they don´t know what they are doing. They know exactly what they are doing. But I am sure for them in childhood there was no other choice (they felt awful - horrible...) to choose another self. It is a fake self - they lose their true self and never find it again. (Once it is lost it is forever...). So you can say in fact they died with their true self.
"It's not for us to know."
Is a very wise answer.
Thanks Kevin.
Great video dude.
I once had a narcissistic "friend" who would never be on time for things we had planned. Finally, I thought "wait a minute, she can be on time for her job, a doctor appointment, an event, a movie, etc..". That was all I needed to know.
I like the attitude of it doesn’t matter how it arrives, just get away from it ( narcissism). I like your “plain speak” ways, Kevin.
My mother is a Narcissist
Mine is a raging narc! She was diagnosed 25 years ago with having NPD, before it made the mental health headlines!
My deepest empathy for anyone who didn’t win the Mom lottery
Same here. See "Mommy Dearest" movie or book.
My father...
So is mine and my siblings. I was the chosen to be sacrified for their sins but I didn't choose the script and I don't want it. I have already lost most of my life for nothing because they won't change and if there is any chance for them to choose changing it won't be while they have enablers.
I would need another lifetime to recover and heal from this one.
I love this prespective. It makes no judgement in the litteral, it brings personal choice, personal evaluation and allows room for a balance of healthy change to be. This is healing and 100% free will of choice without the cohersion of believing or thinking in the persuasion of diagnosis, but, rather in the light of ones truth and experience. Frees the mind!
A narcissist is a different species of human. Just like a pit bull is a different species of dog (than a golden retriever). It matters because you. Can’t change a pit bull to be like a collie. They’re genetically different. SO DON’t even try!
A chimp
They are human, showing the cruelty and wickedness that we all have inside us.
They choose to embrace it, though while most people try not to be evil.
I think it is harder for them to make good choices as they are wired differently but it is not impossible,
@@debmcmurrin5901 they have a different definition for “good choice”
@@AnnaMishel I was with him 38 years. He passed away in 2013. RIP.
A spiritual issue. Jesus warned us about in Matthew 7, 23 & 24. 2 Peter 2 describes more. Psalm 52 helps us understand. Psalm 55 is a prayer about them. Psalm 56 is a prayer about their flying monkeys. Proverbs 6 describes behaviors and says how God feels about them.
Thanks for the references.
We were 4 children. She.chose to be kind to her 2 fabourite sons, ignore my 1 brother, and abuse me, her only daughter.And the weak old man I called my father, allowed it and never protected me.
Just escaping this situation. I feel like I can breathe after 15 years
It’s a sin
Amen❤
Explaining it away for decades did not make any change, but for how I contorted myself for survival.
"Choked on a meatball."
I'm dead. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Kevin this was great! From childhood abuse and neglect i have two narc sisters, i was blessed to be an empath. YOU ARE RIGHT, WE MUST I REPEAT MUST STAY AWAY!!
Light and dark don't comprehend one another!
Wow, puts clarity upon opposites attracting ❤
100% a choice. It's like someone who is on fire trying to burn the rest of the world with them. They are suffering, but in their hatred, bitterness and victimhood they want others to suffer as well.
I do have what some might see as a strange question. The interface between mind and soul seems to be destroyed in a narcissist. What happened to the childs soul.? The body and mind as far as I can see is a soulless shell. Maybe this question is more than psychology can try to answer.
Ooh, deep!💖
I agree, they aren't there anymore. Maybe oppression or possession.
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Kevin is looking more and more boss. Every video I mean the cigar? The shades? I freaking love it. This guy is a narcissist, worst nightmare. He starting to look like a marvel superhero that God sent against the forces of evil. I like it. I like it a lot. I'll take it. This guy's one of my biggest inspirations in this anti narcissistic movement. The dude inspired so much in me.
I think it can be both. It’s bad either way.
You are probably right but there is always a choice. If you've seen them change depending on who it is, there you go
It’s such a relief to hear this. Bad people choose to be bad. There’s an industry making heaps of money out of diagnosing horrible actions from selfish people, as a disorder. Thank you for naming it, expressing the truth.
It's a choice. Kiss/kick. Stop/start. Push/pull. Carrot/stick. They turn it off and on depending who they are trying to impress or oppress. The outcome is the same. I refuse to take the time to "figure out why they ... blah blah blah". It's all darkness. I'm out.
And, the Ease, and Squeeze too. 💯
Odd comparison, but governments/politicians do the same thing. It's all evil control, and abuse of power. 🤔
The only resolution is to get away from them.
Disability, disorder, choice....I get it. Thank you.
I ❤thank you for making myself, The Welfare Worker, see, it is CHOICE they make daily to not fight the impulses to hate & it isnot mental illness or BPD that rules, but choice to continue in SELF PITY & SELF LOATHING . YOU ARE A GODLY MAN WITH Gods Holy Spirit teaching you. God Bless you Kevin.
Both my partners are narcissistic and me and my brother aren't!