Extreme Parenting | Our America with Lisa Ling | Full Episode | OWN
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- čas přidán 9. 04. 2024
- From pageant parents to a "tiger mom" to parents who opt for radical "un-schooling," Lisa Ling explores the world of extreme parenting and discovers what these moms and dads have in common: they all believe their path is the best for their children. (Original Air Date: November 27. 2011 ) Watch more of Our America with Lisa Ling on the WatchOWN app. For more information visit www.oprah.com/app/our-america...
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Extreme Parenting | Our America with Lisa Ling | Full Episode | OWN
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So sad that parents often don’t address their trauma but project their unhealthiness onto their children
Absolutely! This was tough to watch.
It's so evident in this video 😢
Wonderfully said I totally agree!!
OMG! I was just thinking that same thing
Yup!!
I’d love an update on these kids now, 13 years later
I feel like the twins rebeled in a big way
One of the twins travels the world is an author model and attended Cornell.
@@jesslivinlife Enrolled in a 2 month certificate program.
@@rochellemarieb he’s still doing more than me 😆
@@BabyGirlRaven I googled his their full names the narrator says it in the film. Apparently the mom is a Forbes blah blah blah and political debator.
The 6-year-old doing endless multiplication after a full day of tennis in the summer is wild.
And who decided that they give all their birthdays toys away I mean I g t but they’re just little kids
I literally started crying during this scene. I have a 6 year old that also excels in math - the difference is that he does it for fun. To put that kind of pressure on a 6 year old is disgusting
It broke my heart when he said "I want to do nothing" because he was so done and mom kept pushing him to do more!
Child abuse
It's abuse...
Some of the parents are living vicariously through their children.
I feel like all of them are.
Yep.
YEP they sure are!!!
so true
Yep
CHOICE is what the lady in the 1st story wasn’t given by her parents & what she so desperately wished she had! Instead of realizing that shes gone & done the exact same thing to her own kids by enforcing HER desires upon them taking away their opportunity to Choose as well!🤦🏼♀️
Wow well said ❤
Exactly. And it borders on abusive. Ridiculous attitude about team sports. These kids will be selfish AF.
yup she wasn’t given the choice by her parents so now that she has control she feels she can finally make choices and she does for her children unfortunately
I worked in an international private school in Asia. Kids were losing their hair and suffering from anxiety due to the pressure. Not a healthy childhood. And not a good precedent we should set as a society.
Extreme parenting is not good, balance is always good!!!
Yes, but it's always over correction when their kids have kids.
Lawon Carney grew to 5’6”. He played some college ball but not at one of the larger schools. The good news is that he appears to be an Avionic Engineer.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the strenuous exercise stunted his growth. Similar to how the stunted development of cheerleaders and gymnasts occur. I’m glad he’s doing well.
That's awesome!🎉
Most excellent! His dad was teaching him life lessons.
@@sabrina.natalieI was thinking the same thing when they first mentioned his height.
But is he happy?
omg I feel so much sadness for the twin boys... the mother getting mad because the kid - who is 6 yo - got 9x2 wrong...
That first family, as soon as those kids get of age they will be out of there lol. Everyone knows extremes never work and will fail at some point.
They sure do sometimes a kid deserves to have fun and love.
One travels the world is a model author and went to Cornell.
@@jesslivinlife, those things may equal “success” as defined by his parent, but not necessarily happiness or fulfillment.
Sometimes it works, Tiger woods…Serena and Venus Williams. There’s a lot of Olympic athletes that were raised that way as well. It all just depends on what your priorities are, what you value.
@taraji_b Is that the big difference they learned about the basics of hard work & preparation. The biggest important thing was managing time.
I would love a Where Are They Now? episode for these families
Isn’t it interesting…the first mom begrudged her parents for giving her too much agency so she adopted a very restrictive parenting style. The second mom begrudged her parents for being too restrictive so she adopted a very permissive parenting style.
this is the ultimate point. humans blame their parents for everything bad in their lives 😂
Exactly what I was thinking about
Living Vicariously through your children, big mistakes, get some healing from your childhood before raising kids! That's how the cycle stops.
Every young child shows that enthusiasm for science and learning when you go to a fun children’s museum. Doesn’t prove that unschooling is “working”
You can say nothing works fir everyone. We are all different. As a homeschooling parent myself I have seen that in my country, homeschooling works. A huge proportion of schooled children following school curriculum are ending up functionally illiterate. Homescholled children actually tend to do better in life and further education, reaching tertiary levels earlier than their schooled counterparts and are very successful in what they decide to do with their lives. My child was held back from doing extension work at her school. They should be encouraged to do this if that's where they sit, not ignored. Not to mention all the negative consequences of schools that many children face and which can cause severe lifelong trauma.
@flaviapoetic.perfumes4700 no it is just a FORM of homeschooling. There is less structure, but so what? Some children thrive on this. Not a biggie.
@@ababy6074they were NOT homeschooling, they were UNSchooling which means that no schooling is taking place at all and children are left to basically teach themselves. Homeschooling and unschooling are like apples and oranges
@earlyjicama4302 Actually I disagree. I do know that homeschooling is different to unschooling, but I also know that it doesn't mean NO education or instruction at all and many unschooled children are instructed in things they decide to learn about. It's also not lazy parenting - the parents just recognise that children can master thinfs on their own and in their own time. Again, some children thrive without any structure, lessons etc. Learning is very natural and most children are driven to towards it out of curiosity about different parts of life.
we went to the museum and they learned and explored on weekends and holidays from school
I would love to know what the unschooled kids are doing now
Unscheduled 😮.. unschooled
Poor kids. They'll never learn how to relate with other people.
No pressure. No competition.
It'll be a problem when they're adults.
Lack of social skills.
Kudos to the parents who have the patience and the passion to teach their kids, be with them 24/7.
All of life is learning, the majority of which is not in a school setting. Most children thrive having their education lead by their own interests. If they love science, they will learn math. Etc. my mostly unschooled son is a chemist. But some children need the structure of a school setting.
Sensible 2-year-old doesn't want to go to the pageant. The mother most interested in her own "thrill." Siblings competing against each other. Prettiness viewed as the most important quality in a girl. Filling them with sugar to make them hyper. Oh my.
I can't believe what I just watched.😮 There should definitely be a parenting school as something mandatory for people who want to have children. Feeding sweets to such small children and expecting them to be good looking girls and women one day.. This type of competition should be banned for children!
Agree! Child abuse is 100% what it is.. sickening
Agreed! The lady said, "pixie sticks are pageant crack!" What??? That's awful! So the lessons are: people only value you if you are thin and pretty, drugs will get you through, your looks are your only value in life, do what it takes to win even if it makes you uncomfortable, and resist doing things that others want unless they bribe you.
She puts so much emphasis on looks but doesn’t consider the effects of them becoming conditioned to consume all that sugar
Watching this makes me so grateful for my own childhood. I had the freedom to be a kid, exercise my imagination and play but still had responsibility in looking after our pets etc. No all kids are allowed to be children. I feel sorry for these children, childhood is so fleeting.
Only kid I was impressed with was the football player. I'm not into sports but his mind set will take him a long way. He realizes his dad is working hard to provide and he wants to do his best to achieve in this World 🌎 😊
He is now an aviaion/electrical engineer. I'd say his parents did well...a well rounded kid. Imagine if they'd had the money of the Shoneys or any other well off family.
But athletes are only as good as when injuries start setting in.
I miss this show! Please bring it back
YES PLEASE!!
If this mom wants to b a Astro physicist Why not go back to school And see where Her journey takes her?
I was asking the same thing!! It's not our parent's responsibility to make our career decisions for us! She could have gone to college and studied whatever she wanted to.
The extreme parents are what lead to the extreme backlash of their kids the second they leave
Any extreme is bad , balance discipline education and letting them be kids is the way.
I had all B+ & As and somehow flunked PE (not dressing out of PE/showers) and had to take summer school. I love that my mom knew not to care and happily took me to summer school instead of berating me. Thanks Mom.
I was the same, all As, the occasional B+, but I didn't flunk PE, I played loads of sports and played flute until I was accomplished enough to teach it... I'm keen to know, did you find school easy? I did, and I wonder if that's why I got such great grades. I live in Australia so the longest time we have off school during the year is about 3 weeks, at Xmas time, how much time do you guys get off school in summer in the US??
P.s. I'm currently 44yrs old and unemployed. Bring great at school obviously didn't make my life better.
The Carneys seem like cool parents… the dad might’ve been tough but the fact that he’s an influence in the lives of other young men in the neighbourhood was beautiful 🥹
It is so important for parents to be attuned to their little ones. Like with Dominic… clearly he was tired and his brain needed to rest but his mom was not picking up on his cues. He can’t possibly learn multiplication if his brain is tired like that so it just creates strife for both parent and child… even if he is good and might even like math.
Nah she didn't CARE 😢
Great seeing Lisa Ling - even if it's her older docuseries. Love her intellect as well as compassion!
This is all so nauseating. I am a 70's latch key kid and thank god I learned independence, self-reliance, failure, team work, boredom and the word "NO".
Agree! I was a latch key kid in my youth as well in the late 70’s until graduation in high school and also am glad how I was raised as well. Riding bikes,playing with friends until dark,having freedom to be a kid. These poor kids are missing out on having fun. Feel sorry for them.
I was homeschooled as a kid. Wait until those kids are old enough that becoming independent requires a structured nine to five job. I'm still adjusting to the obligations of normal life, and I'm almost thirty.
Well, myself and all my public school friends are right there with you. Is it due to homeschooling for you, or is just working too much in the county we live in?
That unschooled concept is wild.
We do unschooling for the most part, but that family was bizarre!
The way she is doing it is wild!
@@AJ-ps2bwoh you unschooled correctly? Bah-humbug. The education system is designed to exercise the brain and teach a brain how to learn. You will learn forever. Have you ever talked with someone from a country with poor education? They get by but you can tell they aren’t firing on all cylinders. I’m sure you have decades of research and experience on how the brain works through routine tasks?
Billie Eilish and Finneas were homeschooled/unschooled.
This way is lazy. Sorry. She is raising kids that have no rules. No way of being able to live in the real world. They don’t seem to be schooling them on anything that will teach them basic skills to live in their own.
What all these parenting styles are missing is balance. Life is imperative in our lives!
I’d love to have an update on these kids- more importantly how the relationships with their parents have held up.
Guide them, support them, nurture them, protect them. Don't overload them and steal their childhood.
I hope that little baby Annalise never see this footage. Juts going to crush her little spirit to see her mom basically tell the world she doesn’t think her own daughter is pretty. So hurtful.
hopefully she just realizes her mom had warped priorities
Her mom is deranged, the fact she was upset that her other daughter won is seriously appalling
The whole pageant thing rubs me wrong, it sexualizes little girls. Also we shouldn’t be putting such an emphasis on appearance.
I agree, especially at that young of an age. There is no talent or anything going on, just little girls standing there looking pretty? So creepy
@@user-ep4wu3uj4f I don’t personally feel like it’s creepy, my concern is the lack of structure and the fact that it’s so drastically different than the norm that their children risk not being able to acclimate when they need to find a job. Employers aren’t going to tolerate employees who say “well I’m not going to do that task because I’m not interested in it.” It’s incumbent on parents to properly socialize and prepare their children for adulthood and one way that is done is by educating their children. Either the parents have to do it themselves or they send them to school. If they do it themselves they really need to think about possible outcomes; meaning will the education they provide be sufficient training for adulthood and since adults usually work parents need to consider that as they educate their children. So yes to the kid being interested in what they’re learning but no to the lack of structure. Also we have to stay in reality, sometimes in life people have to do things they don’t want to do, that’s life and parents have to teach that.
Agree with sexualization. I don't understand why we think every human is intellectually interested or capable. I think you mean letting their personal inner gifts me priority?
@@user-ep4wu3uj4f oh I see I must not have read all of your response!!!
There’s literally nothing positive about it. Tears down their confidence and sense of beauty in their natural selves. Just sick and twisted.
This episode of this different families, made me sad 😔 ,They are pushing it too far, l feel sorry for the kids.
I was one of those kids my mom pushed me 2 learn multiplication tables useless now because i just use a calculator
How can kids learn who they are, if their parents control everything they do? Wouldn’t that only teach you who your parents are?
The parents: I want what is best for them.
There are bottles of Coke and piles of junk food on the counter.. dense
Chest tats and 2 liter of Dr Pepper? I want her teaching my kids.
That house was really depressing to see
There's a major lack of emotional education from these parents. Achievements do not replace emotions and feelings. The individual will try to fill that void later on in life with something and will be impacted in their own romantic relationships that will inevitably be toxic.
Exactly what every child needs and wants , STRUCTURE & DISCIPLINE ❤ this way they feel safe, wanted, needed, loved, protected & cared for!
Many parents live vicariously through their children. Childhood lost ~
We need a follow up!
The footballer is now an aviaion/electrical engineer. I'd say his parents did well...a well rounded kid. Imagine if they'd had the money of the Shoneys or any other well off family.
Basically some chose to live through their children?
Absolutely. Setting them up for a lifetime of anxiety and feeling inadequate. And probably resentment towards their parents. I’m all for parents helping their kids achieve their dreams but it should be the kids dream, not the parents. Kids are fully formed individual humans with their own wants, personalities, challenges, strengths, etc.
HELLO!!
But i do agree with some of these practices.
So many of these parents see their kids as merely objects, an extension of themselves rather than a unique human being in their own right. The kids are effectively dehumanized as a result.
Man I would LOVE to see a follow up to these kids now!!
The unschooled kid who wants to go to space is never going to get there without formal maths and science. Theyre setting up their kids to have a very hard life. The kids are just playing video games all day...that is not learning.
13 years ago...I'd like to see where the kids are now...They need a healthy dose of structure and routine to regulate...She just thru in the few little sub par teaching lessons I assume for this recording...your kid isn't learning from video games, now if you get him into a group of kids that are into programming/ developing games..or building those towers for PC people..but that won't happen....I see the very strong minded boy Lewaun is a football player now...can't get much more info on where they are now, from the comments anyways.
Wow Lisa Ling's voice brings me right back to high school watching channel one before school started.....
OMG!! Channel 1!!! Ahhh memories
Same! It also happens when I pump gas and a video of Maria Menounos pops us
Mom, your breakfast consists of Cheerios. Who are we pushing to do better?
The unschooled kids just look aimless and scruffy
I absolutely LOVE Lisa Ling and how she conducts interviews!! Can’t wait to watch this documentary, I’m nervous 🫶🏾
@@ALLQUEEN51 Lol…right!
I cant name any beauty pageant winner... How have these parents convinced themselves that if their kid competes/wins pageants, they will be successful & become some huge celebrity..
Nooo....that was cRazy "first a 🧢 backwards ,then tattoos,then we know what's next"...😶😂His kids might start to run away from home quicker than he thinks
I couldn't believe that. Absolutely ridiculous, asinine, and gross!!
That made my blood boil 😮🤬
"Please" was my son's first word. At two, we're now working on "thank you" and "excuse me". There's nothing wrong with wanting your child to have manners.
No one will argue that, every child should be taught manners as well as respect, integrity, responsibility, consequences…..to name a few.
Manners should be part of the schooled & unschooled. Very important.
Dada. I’ll take dada over please any day. Please? Maybe pla? That’s a complicated first word.
@@LAVirgo67 And, lots of kids are in desperate need to learn manners. But, then children learn from watching their parents' behavior.
@@MrBobbo18 They are not mutually exclusive.
Mmm "I want MY own little Mary Kate, and Ashley" That just says it all !!!!!
"We make them"...That seems a strange way to refer to your children, instead of saying, "We teach them, we influence them". She feels she must usurp their free will. That's alarming...
I heard that too and that’s the first thing I thought, her choice of words said a lot about her there.
Disgusting
The first set of parents scare me!
Well as an Indian girl I don’t agree with that parenting method. My parents believe kids should be kids
Why don't my kids talk to me anymore? Why did they move me into a home? 😒🙄
There should always be a balance
Tha pagent dad is completely silent. I wonder what he thought deep down when Lisa asked if that 10grand can go towards the girls educational fund.
I feel sorry for the unschooled children.
The only children who seemed peaceful, like ved and happy are the ones you feel sorry for. Hmmm
I agree. I believe they'll have a hard time when they grow up.
They just won't be able to function in the real world when they grow up and expectations are placed on them, that's the problem.
Poor little pageant girls😢😢😢😢
I hope that whatever Lawon is doing now he is happy and thriving.
The kid’s pageantry was SO CRINGE
i’ve never understood why a grown man would have any interest in hosting little girls pageants.
Really??? Think about it...grown men wanting to be around little girls? Hint, starts with a P
I'm very curious to see about how children who are unschooled do in life.
Mine grew up to be hard-working, responsible, mature young adults who have a wide variety of skills and interests. Not using drugs or playing video games, they look after themselves well.
Oh wow, this was really illustrative of "we parent our unfinished business." I sincerely hope these parents healed their childhood wounds and found peace with their new families. This was difficult to watch.
Pageant beauty is the most extreme for me here
Child pageants shouldn’t exist
They are robbing those kids of a fun childhood !!!!! That’s huge.
Kids need to be loved first and foremost. I don't see a lot of love in any of these except the dad who wants his kid to play football.
Those twin boys are going to go crazy when they start college.
That’s what I thought- joining a frat and going crazyyyy 🍻🍻🍻
My own opinion is that this is “Child Abuse”! How sad for these two little girls 😢😢🤯🇨🇦
Thank you for posting the original air date. So helpful.
I thought that reporter looked familiar! I love Lisa Ling! Reporting journalist what she does is amazing!❤
Liza pleaasee, do a follow up want to see what happy productive human beings these type of parenting has produced
Why didn't they mention the twin's little sister?
Just like with club sports, you start too soon and they burn out by high school
My uncle pushed his son to be a professional baseball player, once he was recruited by the Boston Red Sox’s he turned to his dad and said he quit and never threw a ball again. He just wanted his dad to say his son went pro but was burnt out!
All for homeschool. Completely against unschooling.
Same
You can't say I want to work in this lab without a degree no matter how enthusiastic you are about science.
It is painful to look at that older kid just playing video games. I believe we should encourage our kids to pursue their interests. I also attended a Catholic school. Now, my child is enrolled in a private school that emphasizes personalized learning. They cultivate his interests. What does he want to learn? He practices MMA and takes private Spanish and piano lessons. I don't impose anything on him. If he decides to quit any of these activities, he's free to do so. When I was young, I aspired to be a musician, but it wasn't practical due to financial constraints and being raised in Latin America. Here in the United States, my child can aspire to anything. I've faced hardships, and now he has the opportunity to pursue his dreams. He is truly living the American dream.
It is very important to discipline your children and have a routine but it’s okay to let them have some breathing room sometimes
Parents will go through all of these extremes when the kids are young, only for them to become criminals, drug addicts, abusive parents…etc. We develop our own personality and have our own minds. At the end of the day, u do what you wanna do with your life.
Key word! Explore their dreams! for their kids
Unschooled kids will certainly have fonder childhood memories
Fascinating documentary about parents - by a long shot, it’s one of the most demanding jobs. I think the key is get a happy medium and not go to extremes 👍
Let kids be kids!!!!!
The pageant mom said it outright-that its about her, not the kids. At least the other parents are trying to help the kids
I’ve been a mom now for 5 weeks so I can’t criticize these parents because I understand they all have good intentions and love their children. I thank the parents for sharing their story and opening up themselves for judgment. I wish all these children the very best. ❤
Why do you think a non- parent & new parents can't criticise parents?
That's a dangerous way to think.
That you could only know the difference between right & wrong, or see issues about things, if you aren't in the EXACT same position?
So we don't care/think about anything outside our life & bubble..
I don't agree.
@@ingridakerblom7577 Somebody who isnt a parent has no idea what it is like to be a parent . People think being a parent is easy and that they wont make this mistake or that mistake and that their child would never do this or that etc and then they have children and the reality is very different than what they thought . Someone without kids has no right to criticize people with kids because they have no idea how hard it is or what it involves or the feelings and emotions that are involved when you are a parent .
@@shari9721exactly !!
@@shari9721Child of a severely abusive parent here - good God you are a pathetic waste of space who is literally ruining this planet
Congratulations new mom! Welcome to the club. ❤️
You’re right, you can’t know how hard it is or what the pressures are until you’re a parent. You have a human life that depends on you for everything, and you’re tasked with helping them learn how to live their best lives! It’s a lot of pressure and responsibility! I’ve been doing this 17 years now, and I’ve learned a lot. And changed course more than once. My husband died when they were tiny, so I’ve done it alone too.
It’s not at all what I expected life to look like when I planned my pregnancies! It’s a very tough, but very rewarding job! All these people in the video, whatever our opinions are of them, are doing what they believe is best and right for their kids. I think it’s all pretty extreme, I wouldn’t do any of these things! But this is America. We value freedom and independence. As long as there’s no obvious abuse, it’s not my business. Raise your kids as you see fit.
I wonder if the Pashoni's kids will ever feel good enough for their parents?
It's mashoni's
Definitely not
The dad is okay but the mom is unbearable. What a dragon lady.
There's authoritative parenting which is healthy and then there's authoritarian parents which is borderline abusive and doesn't have good outcomes for the kids well into adulthood.
The pageant moms are the worst
I could only imagine how many pedos go to those pageants
ALWAYS LOVE TO WATCH YOUR LISA LING DOCUMENTARYS.❤❤❤
I think parents should parent however they see fit. We can have an opinion but it’s ultimately up to each individual.
That kid plays tennis 3 hours a day...3 times a week! Remember the Menendez Brothers....
God forbid they turn their hats around!!😮😮
His shoulder, wrist and back will likely be chronically injured.
“I am being educated.”
Love his answer!!! Yes!!!!!
This is an amazing episode 👏👏👏 thank you for preparing this that will serve as research reference for future parents 🙏🙏🙏 Comparing each Parenting styles esp. how one does it based on what they thought their upbringing lacked or not 🥺🥺🥺
Lawan is a lucky kid!!! I am a veteran- the army was the best decision I ever made.
It gave me the discipline I needed to succeed!!❤❤ thank you Drill Sargeants ❤❤
They make them wear collared shirts….?? I mean they’re little kids…??!!
Along with that demonic, smiling at them while they're chomping, down Apple Jack's 🍎 lol 😅
@@michellemurry2180I was thinking does she blink?!
Reminds me of Alex in the tv show Family Ties just needs a briefcase
So happy that they are uploading new eposides
They ain't new. Over ten years old..
@ishotthesheriff5686 I know I was just happy of the uploads
@@diegooregon4481 same here. I love Lisa Ling and the stories she covers..