Why We're Not Pregnant
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- čas přidán 25. 03. 2023
- This is an Official Cole & Charisma Video Of: Why We're Not Pregnant
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About Cole & Charisma:
Welcome to the official Roll with Cole & Charisma CZcams channel! Since the start of our relationship we've gotten a lot of questions about our experiences as not only an interracial couple, but an interabled one as well. On this channel you can catch us doing travel and adventure vlogs, challenges, our inclusion series, couple first times, music, and so much more! We started this vlog to bring people into our lives, to answer some questions about how we navigate the world, and hopefully raise awareness surrounding accessibility and dating in a wheelchair. You'll quickly see in our episodes that we're all about inclusion and keeping a great attitude no matter your circumstances, so if that's what you're into, you're in the right place!
My cousin and her husband tried to conceive for 10 years, including several failed IVF treatments. Finally her doctor asked her if she wanted to be pregnant or if she wanted a baby. She said of course a baby. The doctor also had a very young lady as a patient who was looking for adoptive parents for her baby that she was due to deliver any day. My cousin and her husband met the young girl and she chose them to adopt her baby. A few days later she gave birth to a healthy baby boy and just like that, my cousin and her husband were parents. Fast forward a few weeks and my cousin was unwell (feeling run down, tired, fatigued, nauseated, etc). She went to the doctors and yep, you guessed it, she was pregnant. She delivered a healthy baby girl. The 2 were so close in age that they were in the same grade in school and everybody always thought that they were twins. Since they now had two babies so close in age, my cousin wanted to utilize birth control. She decided on an IUD. The physician assistant in the ob/gyn office put in the IUD in the office (versus the operating room). Not long after, the IUD fell out. So the doctor himself put in a new IUD (again in the office). That one also fell out. Finally the doctor decided to take her to the operating room and completely put her under anesthesia to make sure that the IUD was in there good. Part of her pre-op testing was a pregnancy test. Yep, again you guessed it, she was pregnant again with baby number 3 (another boy). My cousin swears that God wanted her to adopt first and if they would have had biological children first she said that they would have never adopted. It's all in God's perfect timing. Continued prayers for you guys.🙏 👶
ETA: Her husband got a vasectomy immediately after baby number 3 was born. 😂
Wow, what a journey.
Hi guys. I'm one of your "virtual Aunties" one of your first subbies. Retired nurse from Delaware. I'm praying that you two have a positive outcome. I've always rooted for your love, I cried when Cole's Mom took a knee for him when he proposed. I teared up again when Clarissa walked down the isle and Cole was crying. Lord knows you two deserve to be parents. It'll happen and when it does believe you me your supporters will be so very happy. Thanks for sharing your experience with us. You'll never know how much good you do for other people out here.
His mom did that?! That’s so sweet!
@Evelyn IT'S CHARISMA
@@KC-qi7gn
Charisma aka Clarissa. Lol
I’ve been around since day one too. It’s been an awesome journey.
😂
I commented earlier on my infertility journey. I remember back then thinking that those of us who have gone through it would always have a fundamental connection to others who find themselves in the same situation. I’m 71 years old and was 38 when I finally conceived, but I profoundly understand all your feelings right now. I remember I went through these two-week patterns of being soooo hopeful, then a two-week period of being so sad and depressed when it didn’t work. And then it worked. The joy was overwhelming. I wish I could promise you that you will have your baby. I can’t. But if multitudes of people praying and lifting you up can do anything (and it totally can), then you are in great shape! Keep believing and yearning and praying. Amazing things can happen, believe me!
I can’t explain how much your comment means to me. Thank you! 🤍
Oh, dear girl, I hope so! I wish I could sit with you and pray for you in person, let’s pretend it’s so❤️
What doctor did you went too
@Deborah Goodwin oh, your comment was so very kind! I wish the world had more nice people like you😊
@@bocardiistevens7505 his name is Dr. James Madden. He retired at one time and then went back into practice in Plano, Texas, a suburb of Dallas.
My husband and I tried for 11 years. 4 rounds of IUI and 5 IVF
For us none of it worked. We truly understand the mental and physical strain it has on both of you. Do share with your family. It helps alot. In our case we ended up adopting. However the month we decided to adopt our son was conceived and everything went smoothly. Looking back I think my troubles with endometriosis and fibroids were part of the problem and it just wasn't meant for us to have a biological child. We are happy now, but the road was VERY hard. I will pray for both of you. P.S. Cole your expressions about the shots were my husband up and down. He even chuckled watching you, he was "seeing hisself" and how he was.
My friend and her husband went through IVF in their early 30's without any luck. They eventually gave up, and then they got pregnant 3 times in 6 yr time period. 2 yrs between each child. They have 2 girls and boy, all happy and healthy. Best of luck to you both! I didn't have my 1st child until I was almost 38.
This happens to so many people. As my grandmother would say, only God can give you babies.
I am dating a guy who is a paraplegic and I have been telling him all about yall. I am taking your tips and tricks for travel. Please let me know if yall have any more tips. I am praying for yall to have the baby. Yall will be great parents!!!
Cole and Charisma I know how hard you want a child ! I went through 9 1/2 years of infertility with out a single positive test. In 2002 out of the blue I got a beautiful baby and yes he is my best friend!
Ur miracle baby handsome young man no doubt!
My husband and I did IUI to get pregnant, took us one year to get pregnant and got twins who are now 5 years old. Fertility treatment are hard but so worth it hang I'm there. Hope the best for yall!
Keep the faith! My daughter is now pregnant after ivf and we are about to meet our miracle baby in May. Sending love and positive thoughts to you both! ❤️
As someone who went through infertility I know exactly how you are feeling! God has a plan and you have to have faith in that. My husband and I could not afford infertility treatments but God made sure we became parents! We were able to do a kinship adoption two times and we now have a soon to be 16 year old daughter and an 11 year old son. Our journey was very hard and almost killed me but in the end it all worked out! It is perfectly normal for you to feel whatever it is you feel, just don’t linger there too long! God Bless
Thank you both for sharing your story. May God bless you both with a baby.
Remember "Faith over Fear, Prayer over all Doubt". We are praying for your success on the next pregnancy journey.
Cole is so right. How can your family support you when they don’t know. Adrienne and Israel Houghton recently shared their fertility journey on their channel “Love Always Adrienne”. Very inspiring and encouraging! I’m praying for you guys 🙏🏼
HI guys I am praying for u,can't wait to see that beautiful baby ,all the best luck in the world to both of you .
I’m getting surgery on Wednesday to remove my fallopian tubes due to my disability. It’s amazing and beautiful how everyone’s life’s journey is so different! I’m on wishing you two luck and you are in my thoughts.
I went through infertility and finally had a successful IUI. My kids are 10 now but it’s a journey you don’t forget. It was definitely emotional and you are right, no one really understands the ups and downs unless you have been through it. Hang in there and hoping it happens so soon for you guys! You will be great parents!
My niece spoke your words some long time ago and I don't think people really understood. If she'd had your video to share, it would have really helped her. It's good that you share, but I appreciate how personal this is. It's a blessing to have feelings. We were created to feel.
Awwwwww Cole you are so sensitive, I just love how you show so much love and concern for Charisma ❤
From one IVF momma to another… it is okay to have ALLLL the emotions! Excited for it to happen and Sending you good vibes!!🤍
I respect you guys for being so transparent about wanting your own biological baby. There is nothing at all wrong with that. I believe The Most High that you two will get your baby, your bundle of joy. I was so happy for you two when Charisma got a positive pregnancy test. I know if it happened once it can happen again. You two deserve to be parents. 💌
My husband and I went through the same journey as you guys, and we know the stress, highs and lows of it all!!! Do what you two feel is best for you, best for your life, best through your faith, family and your love!!! Feel whatever you are experiencing and “Let no one put asunder what God…” has in store for you guys!!! As you guys always say, “Stay Positive,” might we add, “Be Encouraged, Have Faith and BELIEVE!!!” You are in our thoughts and prayers!!! Be Blessed!!
Such a sweet comment. May GOD bless you!
I am so sorry!!! Cole, I love how compassionate you are!!! Praying for you all!! Love and Hugs from Texas
We completed our first round of IVF this February and we’re currently 7 weeks. Prior to that, we completed one unsuccessful IUI. We were also working with low sperm count and other issues. After almost 3 years, it happened. I can’t wait for you guys to start your IVF journey. ❤
congrats!! hope you and the little one will continue to be safe and well ❤❤
Wowwwww 😢😢😢My cousin did it and it was not successful
Congratulations hun..Have a safe n healthy 9mths both you n baby❤🙏
@@Aaliyah_luvs_dogs Thank you so much!
@@MZDUUVAL6986 Aw, I am so sorry to hear that. Infertility is such a hard thing to deal with. Unsuccessful outcomes can be even more difficult. I hope she continues on until she gets her baby
Cole looked like he was going to pass out when Charisma did the shot lol. Hoping for good news for you both soon! It’s such an emotional situation. I think it’s actually perfect that you didn’t get pregnant yet until moving to LA and then now just getting the house because by the time you do have a baby, in whatever way that turns out to be, you’ll be more settled in your home life which will be greatly appreciated once a baby comes in, ha.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I’m looking forward to your next journey and pray it goes well and it produces a little one. You have so much love to give. ❤
Cole is so sweet and understand this couple is so amazing for each other ..
Praying for you guys. I manage a fertility clinic and I witness the stress everyday from our patients. This is not an easy journey but definitely one that is worth it.
Good luck and I wish you all the very BEST!❤
My husband and I have been going through fertility struggles for two years. It’s hard emotionally and financially, and I 100% agree that it’s hard not to become callus! My heart goes out to those struggling to grow their families.
I send you positive energy& my prayers. I understand 1st hand. After losing 4boys I had my baby girl. DONT LOSE HOPE❤
Thanks for sharing. Support is huge! Your families are great! It’s nice that you have friends going through the same thing. Hopeful for you all. I hope you had an enjoyable time on the cruise.
There's nothing wrong with the two of you. It will all happen in it's own natural time. You'll see. God bless you both and your future baby is just around the corner! Good luck!
Here for it all! Can’t wait to watch you 2 become amazing parents!
I have been fans of yours of a couple years now! I love your energy and the love you have for eachother! You guys are going to be amazing parents! I’m happy that you guys haven’t given up! I’m so happy to see that you guys are being strong and positive with it all. Best wishes & love ❤️
Thank you so much! You’re the sweetest. And no, we’ll never give up!
Best of luck on this journey! 24 years ago we went through the super $$$ fertility treatments. After a brutal failed pregnancy attempt, we decided to adopt. We had a failed adoption (BM changed her mind after we had started parenting but still within the state allowed cooling off period), we took 6 months off from adoption and then started back up…within a couple of months we were parents (although 9-11 caused us a bit of drama trying to get across the country to pickup our daughter - TLDR we got the first flight to the west coast that was not grounded by the FAA after 9-11). Now, 21+ years later we are so thankful and happy for our parenting journey. The start may be tough and filled with challenges, sorrow, and soul searching, but trust that at the end of the journey you will be parents. Good luck and stay positive!
I really admire how y’all opened up to us, we love y’all! And wish you the best sending many prayers ❤
Wow do I know exactly how you are feeling. We tried and tried nothing. Talked to the doctor. Started hormone med(the emotions are crazy). Started testing. We chose not to do IVF. We chose adoption. Also a hard emotional journey, that is SO worth it. I could go on about all the horrible encouragement we got🙄. Thank you for being so brave to put this out there for the world. You guys got this!! Find people who have been through it. They are the best for advice, listening ears and soft shoulders ❤
Hey guys, have a great time on the boat🎉 and when you’re ready, enjoy the fertility journey. You are about to enter the biggest chapter of your lives 😊 congrats on your decision.
Praying with you both touching & agreeing for the VICTORY. I’m super excited to see your bundle of joy. GOD WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART.🙏🏽❤️🙌🏾
My boys are adults now and we have 9 grand kids but way back when we went through the whole fertility thing until we reached a point when we looked at each other and asked what we really wanted. Our answer was a family with kids so we put our limited resources into adoption. That's what we did and how we built our family. We have friends who also had fertility issues and they took other paths to building their families. Whatever path you choose, keep your wish to build a family as your goal and things will work out. Wishing you all the best.
@A J and there's nothing wrong with that either
Prayers for positive results! 🙏❤
In the name of Jesus
@@houseofmydream8157 Amen 🙏
Amen 🙏
Amen..."Thy will be done" 🙏🏽
This video hit sooo hard. My husband and I (age 30) are in the exact boat as you. We've been trying since January 2022, and a few months we got a positive test. It ended up being a 6 week MC, and since then we've gone through IUI, then IVF, with some BFN and chemical pregnancies from those.
Your comments about feeling callous and about others telling you to "stay calm" are so on point. People who are fortunate to never experience infertility or recurrent loss have a hard time understanding the physical and emotional toll. This past year has been the most exhausting of my life. I can feel the pain behind your optimism, but sharing this journey on your platform will for sure help you realize you are not alone and have a team cheering you on ❤
I also wanted to share that both my husband and i were ideal candidates for IVF. We are both "healthy" with no issues detected in any screening. After my second failed FET, my doctor performed a hysteroscopy and found that I had endometritis. This is inflammation of the uterine lining caused by a bacterial imbalance and can be triggered by miscarriage.
The only way to detect endometritis is through hysteroscopy and biopsy! Therefore, if your eggs and sperm are healthy (ours were) but your embryos don't stay implanted, definitely ask about this. I took an antibiotic for 2 weeks, it cleared, and now we are doing out 3rd FET in April 🥰
You folks are so enthusiastic and joyful, I’m praying for this baby to come. Enjoy your family and cruise.
Love y’all! It took me a year of blood sweat and tears to get preggers… he is turning 34 soon! Don’t Blink… your vlogs are a treasure for you and your child/children. 🛳 Bon Voyage ❤🎉
Herbalist and Ayurveda Practitioner here! 👋🏾
Maca Root for Charisma and Ashwagandha for Cole + Divine timing. I love you two and continued blessings!!! 💕😘
Yes I can attest to Maca root. I have PCOS and After 3 years trying I tried Maca and got pregnant in a month 😅
Maca gives me a pleasurable feeling lol 😂 😂 and more stamina 😊😊 so does Ash 😊😊
@@lourine17 I'm going to try again after I take out the endometrial polyp 😢 this will be my last try then I'm over it
Some people forget that it is ok to be not ok. Thank you for sharing and educating us throughout your journey.
I dont think they forget when people aak are they okay they mand and when they dont they mad thats thr crazy part
So happy for you two.... From that day when Cole rode you in his wheelchair earlier in your relationship I think WE all started rooting for ya'll. Your love for one another is so pure and beautiful! Don't stress it will happen...... We can't wait! ❤
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way!” & anything worth having never comes easy. Just keep your faith, it will happen! You two are some of the most amazing souls & will make the most phenomenal parents. You’ll both be in my thoughts & prayers. I know it’s just a matter of time, it WILL happen for you guys! 💗💙
Disappointment is so normal when pursuing fertility, Charisma and Cole, and I'm praying with the rest of your subbies that God will bless your womb with baby-fruitfulness! We love you both!!! ❤❤❤❤
Praying for you Cole & Charisma. You are such an inspiration to the world!
Thank you both for being open and willing to share this journey. You're both a blessing to many. ❤
My daughter had a miscarriage, he hurted. Then she got pregnant and she has a 4 month baby. The miscarriage was hard but I was here for her. Literally she thought that she had to do the fertility treatment and she sought out a naturopath. Do not give up .Stay positive. Live❤
I feel this, my husband and I have only been trying for a year and half now but it feels like so much longer with the emotional journey and I hate when people tell me to stop stressing and it will happen because it makes me feel like more of a failure! Thanks for your encouraging words
Great point. Probably sharing it with those whose not like that will be supportive
You got this guy's. I hope yall receive your blessings soon. I'm glad we get to be with yall during this journey. I have my fingers crossed 🤞
It's such a tough journey I am hoping that your journey is short ending with a sweet little person, that will be so blessed to have you guys as parents!
Thank you for sharing. Really, many people don't understand the emotions involved with not being able to have children naturally. In addition to people saying comments like "it will happen when you least expect it" and seeing people with their biological children especially during every holiday, it is extremely difficult especially when you've been trying for years (naturally and IVF). Not too many people talk about their struggles with fertility and thank you again for sharing with us.
All the Best, guys! 🙏❤️We went thru 2 rounds of IVF and my husband did the shots. Second round, I was pregnant & i got progesterone shots. Higher gave needle. When our daughter was 2, I got pregnant with our son.🙌
Hey guys so sorry to hear about your infertility journey struggles. The ups and downs are tough. I also watch “Phil and Alex” on CZcams, they have been journalling their infertility for years and might have some encouraging insights for you both.
Two things - Charisma you look so pretty in this video, but then again, you always do! Cole was so cute when you were giving yourself the shot. My husband used to be the same way. I’m so hopeful for you guys! ❤
Love from back home, I’m constantly praying for y’all. You’re absolutely correct you should express your emotions. During this time focus on your well being and your marriage.I know you all will be blessed with a baby soon. Don’t give up your hope.
Charisma is always beautiful but but the last hairstyle and this one looks so good on her. I love it
I know this wasn't easy for you guys to share but it is good for all of us. You, going through it and all those your story can help. Thank you for sharing.
Fascinating. Thanks for sharing.
Gosh, you're sooooo radiant and beautiful together. Thanks for sharing, I just LOVE the way you support each others. And all the best for you :)))
Charisma skin is so beautiful and also Coles skin is glowing
Thank you both for sharing your journey. I am praying for success. Good luck, stay positive!! Lots of blessings to you both🙏🙏❤❤
Wishing ya’ll the best in the journey to have a family. I understand the struggle and it does hurt. Have a wonderful and relaxing vacation! Hugs from Texas
I know it’s tough but God’s timing is always right and ON TIME 🫶🏽
amen!!
I agree, leave it up to the big guy, he knows best. You two are not being judges like some people. All things happens at the time God see's fit. Leave it alone and be surprise when it does happen, we will sing praises with you..👶🍼🚼
Amen to that.
Amen, Amen!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾
Amen!!
I'm so excited for your sweet little family, and may God answer the prayers of countless people all over the world as you continue your journey to parenthood. I believe in the power of prayer, and I know God will bless you with a beautiful baby. May you both feel all the love, prayers, and positive thoughts I'm sending to you. May God bless you and your miracle baby I know you will have very soon!
Hi Cole and Charisma. I am following you through this process and praying 🙏. I am here for all of it. Relax and enjoy the family cruise🚢. I am so glad you are going to share it with all of us. I need a virtual cruise!! 😊
It's going to be fine. I just know it. Thanks for sharing this journey with us. You're in our prayers.
You’re both are going to be great parents when the time comes. 😊
I'm rooting for you guys. I hope everything works out for you.
Hoping for the best for you two…a baby! I am sorry this has been such a difficult and stressful process for you. Thank you for sharing all the information and your emotions. What I find to be so beautiful is Cole’s love, support and understanding of Charisma’s physical experience on your journey. Your love for one another is so powerful and inspiring. Love, blessings and prayers for you.
Good thoughts coming your way. I’m glad you guys are being so open and honest about things. I’ve been watching you guys for awhile and I love your journey. I have SPG4 (hereditary spastic paraplegia), a rare disease, and I am one of the lucky ones, lol born with the complex version which there are only two of us in the great state of California. You two inspired me to look into starting my own CZcams channel. I want to give space and have a open dialogue about the process of finding out about the disease, I was misdiagnosed for about 35 years and I had to fight to get the proper diagnosis. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t take a close look at myself and hunt down medication and other stories. I’m am now looking for advice on how you two got started? Thanks a million.
aw I'm so sorry things didn't go as planned, don't give up, you are both going to be wonderful parents and I cannot wait to hear the news from you that you are going to have a bebe, love you guys!!
We are with you wherever you take us !! 🤗🙏💜❤️
You said some very important news. Going through failures can be extremely hurtful. Please continue to be positive. You are allowed to show your hurt, so show your stress when necessary. Thanks for sharing this.
Hello Cole&Charisma! Thank you for sharing this exciting journey to parenthood and being realistic about it! Yes, it is a deep hurt but there is still hope! I will pray for you both! Do not give up!🤗
You guys are amazing. Your attitudes are spot on! I'm sorry it didn't work. Hope yall have a great trip. And a wonderful ivf experience! God bless you both.
Thanks so much!!
Keeping for you both in my prayers.
I rode the fertility program rollercoaster in the early 1980s. I am so relieved you share the honest emotions of it all it will help so many
I’m a fan of everything that y’all do, so I will definitely be watching and following y’all’s journey to parenthood. I can’t wait to see a little Cole or a little Charisma ❤. Like you say, STAY POSITIVE!!! I love you guys. Stay BLESSED ❤
You are going to be excellent parents. Blessings to you and your family
You guys are maturing as a couple very beautifully!
STAY POSITIVE!💕🙏
Sending positive vibes and wishes to you through this journey. You deserve the very best in life. I've really loved watching all of your videos. Also, sending the same to everyone else going through the baby journey.
I can’t wait, whatever the outcome, we’re here always supporting you guys! Love ❤ you guys and praying for the best! I can’t wait for a virtual baby shower
You did excellent doing the shot for the 1st time!!! Yall I pray for your Fertility and love !!! I want u to stay enjoying each other and know that it will happen in God's time!!! Be blessed!!! Continue to inspire!!!😊 🎉❤❤❤❤
Omg I tear up every time I watch that little clip of Charisma taking the pregnancy test.
I know it’s going to happen for them.
"Tear up"? 🙄
@@yessumyessum6624 lol hi there. Yes. I’m very sensitive to other peoples emotions. So yeah, I tear up. I’m sorry.
@@amiachelle9989 no need to apologize I understand
Don't apologize for your emotions.There's nothing wrong with showing your feelings. Be yourself.😊
@yessum yessum I know right? Her own mom probably wouldn't watch that clip and tear up. Some of these people more invested than her own blood relatives
Hey! Thank you so much for this video. I needed to hear those words. I am 41 with PCOS. Pregnancy has been a struggle for me and people don't understand the hurt behind their words. Love you
Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable..looking forward to a positive future..lots of love ❤️
Years later and it’s still very emotional. Watching y’all brings me back to my own fertility journey. My husband and I were told improbable, but not impossible. Many well meaning people gave us advice. If only it were as easy as they said. For some of us it’s not. We need medical intervention. It took us a while, but we were blessed with three beautiful children. All grown up now. I truly believe it’ll happen for you too. Looking so forward to future baby announcements. Sending blessings and positive vibes your way.
What worked for you
@@ann20B Clomid and time. Amazingly, our last child was born without intervention.
We struggled with infertility for 7 years. I am praying for you all and know that we are praying for you all!
I hope that you get what you want, you have been through alot, however you can. I wish you all the best.
Hey, my husband and I lost our first baby as well and it sucked. The wait is emotional at tiimes but I hope we all get to share in the joy of being parents soon. And yes! Sharing your pregnancy and your loss is okay!
Your love for each other is so organic and precious. I pray God’s best over the two of you! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Praying for your hearts during this emotional roller coaster. Praying for God’s perfect timing.
Blessings to you both. Keep the faith on the journey!
Thank you for sharing this journey! It was so comforting to know that I am not alone in this desire to have a baby and have no success. I have been nervous about the idea of IVF and IUI. I’m still praying and waiting to see what direction to take from here. Wishing you both all the good blessings and good news of a successful pregnancy very soon!!
Keep praying and keep your heads up. God got this
I just pray things go smoothly for y'all and can not wait to see y'all on vacation with family members 😜❤❤❤ y'all vlogs enjoy them all
Praying for you guys. Thanks for sharing your story. ❤
You two are so sweet and beautiful inside and out. Good luck with your pregnancy journey. It can get tired but all worth it in the end!