Narcissism | 7 Traits
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- čas přidán 30. 07. 2024
- Spotting a narcissist is easy… but only when you understand the signs. MedCircle expert and licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Ramani, and MedCircle host, Kyle Kittleson, walk through the 7 traits of narcissistic personality disorder aka NPD.
00:00 Intro
00:13 1. Lack of empathy
00:29 2. Entitlement
00:46 3. Grandiosity
01:17 4. Superficiality
01:51 5. Chronic seeking of admiration & validation
02:29 6. Tendency to "rage"
02:59 7. Arrogance
03:19 Are there more than 7 characteristics?
04:44 Kyle's favorite takeaways
04:56 How quickly can someone spot a narcissist?
06:28 Questions to ask a potential narcissist
07:58 Social anxiety vs. narcissism
08:47 How to handle a relationship with a narcissist
You can buy Dr Ramani's books on narcissists and narcissistic personality disorder HERE:
"Don't You Know Who I Am?" amzn.to/3Hs134A
"Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist" amzn.to/3stJ3Cx
#Narcissism #MentalHealth #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #narcissist #narcissistic #narcissists
Its exhausting to be around them!
In time you get physically ill! They are dangerous!
staying long term will cause severe chronic destruction to one's immune system and vitality
Totally true. I'm with one, and I do feel the detrimental tiredness of the defensive arguments that spring out of nowhere. It leaves you confused, and eventually just plain tired.
It is....
@@joywalker2682 please leave, im w one as well and trying so hard to leaveee
Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
Um, hello? Asexual people exist. We're not narcissists.
Well...your single now look at the bright side
..I'm single too..I'm reasonably attractive. I'm in Austin Texas...let's chat if you're also close by
Maybe they lost attraction for you and didn't want sex. Or maybe they have depression or low libido. Sounds more like you're the narcissist 😅
I am a narcissist and I am married. I read about a quarter of what you wrote , and that is all I needed to provide you with my feedback. I do not have sex with my wife. It's been many months. She feels unloved , unwanted , and a burden perhaps. It's not that I want her to feel those emotions. In fact quite the opposite. But I am unable to exert the energy that is required in maintaining a happy wife. In our 16 years of marriage I have never hit , slapped, ridiculed , or belittled my wife. Those ostentatious tendencies are not in my DNA . Yes, she has made me angry but during those times I stop talking and or go for a drive. I am nearly confident that your X must have cheated on you.. You are his wife and he could have sex with you at any given time, as indicated by your high sex drive. This irritated him because he might have wanted more of a challenge , or perhaps grew tired of intimacy with just one person. It's not you, it's him. He could be married to anyone and it simply wouldn't matter. He would repeat the same behaviors. I am sure you felt hurt , rejected but his rejection of you had very little to do with you , and more to do with what he is. I hope you are doing well.
1. Lack of empathy
2. Entitlement
3. Grandiosity
4. Superficiality
5. Chronic seeking of admiration
6. Tendency to "rage"
7. Arrogance
My ex:
1: Wanted to be loved by my family, but never showing them or me any respect. (As George Carlin said: Respect is earned, not automatic).
2: Wanted to stay in the Country (Was from China) - But didn't want to continue studying or even work a 9-5 in an established business so instead would always find loopholes that benefit her. E.g. working for a Non-Australian owned business & even setup multiple bank accounts in liaises to get around the Australian Laws. Moreover, when I left the relationship she also used her friend to get another partner & tricked him into proposing marriage in less than a month & when I asked "Do you love him" she said "It benefits me & that's what I want". - Soo cold!. Ironically, she saw OTHER races (Thai or Vietnamese) as using others for marriage & stated "I'm not like that!".
3: Always bringing up that her mum was rich & she had worked for a fortune 500 company in China as the secretary of the most important senior CEO.
4: Wanting Gucci or LV. But that wasn't enough, also had to be bought online to customise it with her own initials.
5: Seeking to be supported, loved & admired - but again this was 'expected as the norm' & not based on how she treated others.
6: OMG, the rage - I wouldn't even respond to it thinking that this may defuse it somehow, but it was an on-going issue. And now that I'm with a new partner the difference is night & day. not a single argument. I was soo on guard at the beginning with this new relationship with what was said - Cause of the fear of the same reaction, but again it's respectful & that fear has now gone.
7: She got ripped off by a customer of the business she was working for, so she wanted to retaliate (But not by getting the cops involved) & the road that she took was to essentially blackmail/threaten the customer & basically rob it back & got others to do her dirty work.
I'm missing #4 and #6 does that mean I have tendencies
I was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control it. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this hacker on INSTAGRAM tech_expert211 who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband instagram.com/tech_expert211
Thank you for making a list.
never share anything but with the highest price
pathological liars
they always witness, without anyone that can agree or disagree, so they're always right
they block projects whatever they are
in the middle of everything
etc but everything destructive for sure.
I was married to a narcissist. If you run into one, run as fast as you can away from them!!!
“Getting pleasure out of somebody else’s misery.” That is literally most of the world.
Backwards way of thinking that part
04:02 "That never happened."
This is one of the top gaslighting phrases.
So basically to be a Narcissist, you have to care only about your own desires at the expense of others and wanting only the facade of a good person while doing nothing for them. You as a narc never apologize for mistakes, get always angry at the slightest irritation, even if all someone did was setting boundaries. Expect others to obey the pecking order where you stand at the top and be condescending towards those who suffer. Be arrogant and think you are better than others while you have a lot less on the table as a person.
It seems to me that Narcs confuse control and manipulation with love and trust, which is why they get angry when you try to do things your own way or something they don't like. They might be able to love other people, but only if they can be the one who control everything and are the ones responsible for the well-being of others, which is not how relationships should work.
Honestly, sincerely, kindness, empathy, compassion and love should characterise our relationships, not blind rage, arrogannce, contempt, superficialty,bullying, abuse and control.
Your Dead On...Thanks !!
In one word: Parasites!
Wow,you describe my mother,right down to a T.
My 61 yr old brither has been a narcissist all his life. It's very true they apologize for their own mistakes, get angry at such little things, etc. He didn't even attend my Dad's funeral, such a horrible person to be around. These days, I just completely ignore him like he never existed. He takes vacations quite a bit. He told our house keeper that he took a week off because he makes too much money, lol. If he makes too much money, why doesn't he just move out and get his own place?
He doesn't pay rent or anything. All he does is go to the park and hang around there a few hrs. Then he comes home and sleeps half the day. After this, he watches MSNBC political channel. Always avoiding responsibilities, expecting someone else to do them. To top it all off, my brother avoids social gatherings like parties and going out to eat. Also. he is jealous of other people who are happy with
their lives, lol. Like I mentioned before, just ignore them and avoid as much as you can.
Excellent summary.
Trait of a narcissist is also unable to accept any sort of criticism, even if it is very light non-personal criticism. They will tend to call people "haters" after being criticized.
I would say the first sign will come from your own gut feeling which will send signal to your body telling you that this person doesn't make you feel comfortable being around him/her. The fact that you are already asking this question should alert you to be careful. Something will feel off and you won't know what it is exactly. Covert narcissists can act very charming in the beginning but there will be often also present underlying sense of superiority about them. That sense is actually deriving from them feeling insecure about themselves, so they tend to quietly degrade others in order to feel better about themselves. On the other hand if covert narcissist feels that you are above his league, he will act like your servant, trying to please you - almost annoying in a way. But make no mistake. If you decide to stay in a relationship with him, he will downgrade you and abuse you like all the others. Because in his mind, if you love him, he thinks you are unworthy of him. Covert narcissists hate themselves so if someone loves them, than they think this person is worth less than them and that they can do better. Other sign to look for is any kind of judgment towards others. If he criticises other frequently, he will more likely criticise you as well once he gets more comfortable around you. Pay attention to how he treats people that are dependent on him as well. Narcissists hate those especially if they can't get anything of of that for themselves. Moreover, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your wife of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on her of her without her knowledge of her. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,
This is so on point narcs never take responsibility and they just blame everyone for their own problems, they put people down to make themselves feel better and it’s all mental abuse, and when you confront them about it they either get pissed or laugh, they never want a real relationship they just want someone to take care of them financially while they go and do what they want I got away from my narcissistic ex 4 years ago and I’m still healing
They are sneaky, selfish people. Took me a long time to accept this as true. Ty Dr Ramani .. namaste 🙏
I was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control it. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this hacker on INSTAGRAM tech_expert211 who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband instagram.com/tech_expert211
It's exhausting in general. I am so completely drained from narcissist behavior
Some narcissist also tell you that you did something you DID NOT do , or ultimately take it out of context and rage at you. The sick part is it's not consistent its like a pattern. Once a month, Four times a year, Two times every three months, (just speculation). So it becomes confusing to your spirit because half the time they are treating you with respect. Then there is the RAGE that comes out over the littlest things, and you are left feeling like what just happened!!!! It is invalidation, after invalidation, after invalidation. You defend yourself verbally, but eventually you become sick and tired.
1.) Lack of empathy - defining characteristic of narcissism
2.) Entitlement - deserves special treatment
3.) Grandiosity - unrealistic version of the world
4.) Superficiality - concerned about appearances
5.) Chronic seeking of validation - constant need for praise
6.) Tendency to rage - uncontrolled rage, no tolerance for when things don't go their way
7.) Arrogance - "I'm better than you"
Narcissist will engage in projection, make their faults and flaws yours, and will make you question your reality.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control it. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this hacker on INSTAGRAM tech_expert211 who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband instagram.com/tech_expert211
They can also pretend to have empathy but show that they don't by their actions.
I’m divorcing one and we were married less than 6 months. It’s exhausting. It made me sick. I’m 5 months post living together and almost divorced. Lost everything. It almost killed me. 100% lost myself and wanted to. Addict. Abusive. Felon. No empathy because he’s a diagnosed sociopath with a lot of dark empathy traits.
Whew.
I’d be really interested to see a video related to the narcissistic spectrum. Some people have moderately narcissistic tendencies, while others are so much more severe. Sometimes it’s harder to relate the information out there to mid grade narcissism since everything tends to often be spoken about in more “extremes.”
I have add inattentive type adhd diagnosed in 2017, my father I can say was most certainly a psychopath, I personally think 2 are linked to each other, it's almost adhd is bread or base of psychopathy, we're distracted and inattentive, hyperactive easily bored with things, mood disregulation, low grade depression and extremely bad anxiety, most of these symptoms we share barring anxiety as iv never seen my father nervous once not once, but I agree with you can we see the levels of gradation of npd or aspd Dr ramani?
@@neillcann1609 I disagree. ADHD is a neurological disorder treatable with prescription drugs and therapies. Psychopathy is a personalty disorder for which there is NO treatment, NO prescription, NO cure and you never outgrow it---it just gets worse with age. Not even close to the same thing and not related at all.
@@neillcann1609i can see this. call me kevin has adhd hes quite evil in his playthroughs i think without the anxiety and consequences
Asperger’s
Another trait is they dont take accountability in their faults and never apologize
-lack of empathy (defining characteristics)
-Entitlement (special)
-grandiosity/grandiose plans
-superficiality
-chronic seeking admiration (needing constant praise and admiration)
- rage (poor command of other emotions and handling frustrations, no tolerance)
-arrogance (I’m better than you, snobby, devaluation of others as less than)
This channel provides me with knowledge, help and calmness at the same time😌✨
She’s so right. Took me so long to figure him out. Thankfully my kids were teenagers and the fight wasn’t long and they are with me protected from him.
I just got out of a very emotionally abusive narcissistic relationship. Tbh the whole year it was on and off and I felt miserable. So many things you guys touched on, the fact he was so materialistic, hyper critical of what I wore, where I went, constantly criticising and nit picking over every little thing, it’s exhausting! I don’t know if I trauma bonded but he reminds me of a close family member, which is one of the reasons I’m struggling to let the relationship go. I could see it was toxic a mile away, he wanted me to basically change myself and would say things like why can’t I be more homely (and how I would abandon my future kids) I tried to uphold my boundaries but when the narcissist gets under your skin it’s really hard. Also when they explode it’s scary but they counteract this with (empty) apologies and seemingly moments of empathy. The narcissist I’m talking about lacked compassion majority of the time and kept saying it’s my fault he’s angry and living in a state of anger, as he doesn’t explode at anyone else. I may even have mentioned that he is a narcissist and advised him to go therapy but he didn’t. He would blame everything on me, and it’s ironic that he ended the relationship though it was more or less mutual. He probably thinks I made him toxic but he never took proper accountability. It was always pointing the blame at me. These people are so deluded it’s unreal. There was so much gaslighting going on, and I read a lot about it, just couldn’t leave the relationship. And the thing is he is apparently socially awkward though I’ve seen him charm others. They don’t know the real him, I do. He always shuts me down, hangs up the phone when things don’t go his way, it’s pretty much all about him and how he wants me to be this perfect idealised version. 😢
Going thro the same damn thing !!!
Dr. Ramani is such a great speaker, has a brilliant mind, and a way of explaining psychological topics in a way that is clear and concise. Many thanks Dr. Ramini!
She’s awesome!!
If she was a great speaker , she have the ability to respond to her comments .
@@DKSE123 The Joey Ram Show!
What I don't like about the term narcissist is that everybody calls everybody else that. so these videos really help.
OMG, Dr. Ramani you blow my mind, you describe my Husband to a T. Unbelievable
You Dicrubbed 30 reasons, you got everyone of them. Now I know why, I doubt myself much
I never had a clue that he was a narcissist. I felt
He had a chemical imbalance or a brain injury.
My son and I were talking about you, trying to understand why my husband does this behavior.
You have put the pieces together.
Thank you, I felt so crazy.
Can’t wait for the next episode 😌 Dr. Ramani is a real life-saver. I have learnt soo much from this series. Thank you for all you’re doing to give people their sanity & self-assurance back.
Thank you Dr. Ramani. Now I know there are people who feel the way I do. I also don't feel too comfortable with charming people due to my bad experience with a narcissist. My instincts with charming people are almost always right
Love how short and sweet this was. Definitely bookmarking this one
That word, charming really triggers other narcissists. I also avoid the charmers. Narcissist can’t wrap their head around charming being a negative trait.
Until I looked up personality disorder I felt like I was literally going crazy the lack of empathy is #1 to look out for and everything else is exactly what I'm going thru with my partner. Watching this video brings clarity hope this video helps and if Kyle has a podcast I would love to join
My kids are grown now but you are 100 percent correct on the custody battle. My ex husband who is 6”3” and very aggressive not to mention physically abusive towards me, got a 2 year protection order against me. I am 5”4” not aggressive and know that if I ever hit him that would have been the end of me. He used the kids every way he could. But I hung in there and have a great relationship with my kids and without saying a word they have their own opinion of him that is not great. It was super hard for me to get through but luckily I did and I am better person today because of it.
Yup. My POS dad put a protection order against me and my mom several times and we had to go to court. Just so he could kick us out the house legally. That didn’t work so he went full on eviction.
One side of the story. A lot of dads are unfairly treated based on moms version and our "dad bashing" society.
Thank you, you guys are brilliant I have learnt and healed so much 👏👏 just got out of a narc relationship, heartsore but healing. Still dont have closure or fully understand what happened but trying to move on.
Yep I never trust a smooth talking charmer. Prefer socially awkward people.
I’ve always been put off by charming people too. 😅
kyle you have some good key points in your shows THANK YOU.
Thank you so much Dr, your videos are a lifeline. Thanks Kyle
I knew someone who I think is a narcissist. She fits a lot of those symptoms. Her focus was herself. She got angry very easily.
I HATE narcissists with a passion.
Dina Thoroughman,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are with a good man 👨!
It's amazing for me to hear this cause I know what it's like to live with a narcissistic person. This information is extremely accurate.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control it. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this hacker on INSTAGRAM tech_expert211 who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband instagram.com/tech_expert211
My stepfather has all of them … and I knew it … this video solidified it, thank you
I love Dr. Ramani and Kyle! Their videos are always so educational. And this set is lovely too
PLEASE talk about having an adult child who is a narcissist. How do you continue a relationship with your child but also "put up" with their narcissism. I am craving some insight!
Thank you, very informative! You once made an episode about the difference between narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. Could you please make an episode about the difference between narcissists and burnout syndrome too? Besides, could you please make more content about psychopaths and sociopaths too? Now, thanks to Dr.Ramani, Dr.Carter we have a lot of info about narcissism. But it seems to me, there is still not so much info about psychopaths. It would be good knowing how to spot them too.
I've been called as a narcissist by my ex.. But, I can feel empathy and empathize with people.
I'm an autist and I've trouble expressing and comprehending my emotions.
I do have my own share of insecurities.
My therapist told me that I don't fall on the narcissist spectrum.
I don't know why it's eating me up. Just this comment. It should not even bother me.
I spotted that nowadays a lot of people call other narcissist even if that person is not. Especially if that person wants to have their own needs and boundaries and other wouldn't like it. It's good to think about yourself first, it's not good when you hurt others and don't care at all about it. So ask yourself when your ex called you narcissist what happened before? Did you do something that your ex didn't like it?
I think you should tell your therapist about and trust them when they tell you that you don't have this kind of spectrum.
I was called a Narcissist by my ex last night and I’m completely tore up over analyzing second guessing myself but I keep watching Dr Ramanis education and I am constantly reminded it’s definitely not me. I may have an instance here or there but I do not have the NPD for sure.
narcissists can feel empathy, they are on a spectrum, not black and white only
@@stephanieburgess8217perhaps it's your ex who is the narcissist, and you're being gaslighted? ?
@@anndevlin7411 yes this is what I’m assuming but just the excruciating hurt over being called this is devastating. He’s a self centered jerk in many ways but I never thought he’d resort to name calling. He called me a Narcissist after I used the term gaslight becusse he’s denying things that happened and things he said and did so he can claim my assumptions we were closer than we were, bordering on a relationship again for several years, even though he told me he did not want to be in a relationship but then he did just that at times and claimed I was being delusional when I recalled him stating he loved me and in fact I have evidence on the sticky he wrote it on and then let’s not forget about the long passionate kiss after being gone for 10 days at Christmas at his sisters and he came back all about me and then 3 weeks later when he started abusing me and I fought back he got upset and came out and told me “I was going to get back together with you but I changed my mind because I decided I didn’t want to be miserable.” Really?! You don’t want to be miserable?! So who’s gaslighting here.
The hardest bit is when you question yourself if your a narcacistic person, but then you realise you're empathic af.
i was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this Instagram user (@Tech_Expert211) who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband ...i can totally recommend him to virtually everyone cause he saved my dying life..
And ever since then i always share my story to save victims out there who are frustrated with there Narc and are looking for a way out......
This is very helpful; thank you, particularly the parts about arrogance and gaslighting. And, how the narcissist really never changes, regardless of "second chances".
Yep, and they will never change at the 1000th chance. Dr. Ramani really does well at indicating that either assess whether you can ever adjust to this or get out!. Non-narcissist friends are definitely a benefit too, but hopefully the toxic person hasn’t driven a wedge towards these relationships as well given their jealousy/rage.
@@sledge6693 You're right, and I know that from a former friend (I had to sever the friendship, as he is unbelievably toxic.) In addition to all the points mentioned in the video, many narcissists will use gossip to control their friends, by spreading deceit. The amount of energy that's required to cope with these people is incredible. Even with assurances when narcissists say, "I've learned a valuable lesson", don't believe them. They will never change. They need people to be around them, and they will say anything to keep people in their grasp.
they only change for the worse
You are so right about L.A. I am a sensitive person, and I was not comfortable there at all.
Thank you both a gazillion times for this💟💜✨
Not only do you have to reassure narcs that they are great or give them validation, but one thing i've noticed is even if they appreciate you they will never stoop to telling you how much you mean to them or how good of a person YOU are, they also wont initiate contact with you usually they will actually resort to ignoring you until you message or call them first.
Well, I've stopped texting first due to (apparently) my 3 Children and their father get together in a multi text together to talk about me, when I text, what I say and they will add shit I DIDN'T say. I get the screen shots of their conversations and told this is what I said/did when, in fact, I didn't. When I ask where are the screenshots of me saying it? I'm bashed hard and called a drunk. Hmm I drink in the evening and only on a next day off. That's NOT a drunk. So, now, it's a thank you for the pictures or a Merry Christmas back. Barely 2 sentences back. They've "decided" what I need to DO with my life and where I should live and THEY'LL get my resume put together for a different area/life. Holy crap .. NO. I'm to the point of wanting to live in my car and hide from my own children. Treating me like I'm a nothing and I need controlled.
@@lorireed8046 don’t give up! You’re doing good so far, give yourself credit
@@lorireed8046 just *LET IT GO* it's not worth it. Let em' talk, leave them alone. Go hang out with NEW friends that don't judge you and talk behind your back. Don't give them any satisfaction by being angry or mad at them. Relax, smile, enjoy yourself! This is YOUR World.. 😎
This sounds horrible but I'll point out why aspd suffers are better to be around than narcs, I know my father was a psychopathic man, he was a biker, fighter and super dominant into criminality very dark natured, he wouldn't interact with me unless there was something I had or gained (goal oritated behaviour) having said that I knew what and who he was! What I was getting neglect, aggression and general coldness.. With narcissism it seems to be more manipulative and female in nature a constant change of emotes, arrogance willingness to say the most awful things and then pretentiousness of empathy is just the worst of it, at least with aspd particular socipathology you know what your getting lol
This sounds like most of the population…um lol
Listen sometimes it’s hard to spot until u know them enough (it can takes years) so protect urself never give too much and involve too much emotional attachment.
The one narcissist I know, talks empathy, but when I hung out with her, her actions didn’t support empathy or taking my needs into consideration whatsoever. It was puzzling. Now I understand. Thank you.
That's because they know how to fake empathy. I knew someone who did that. It's part of the love bombing tool to draw you back in. Run the other way,!
great talks! omg.... so much clarity in this needy needy time... godspeed..
Jane McGillivray,Hope you are not with a narcissist…
I’ve worked for two narcissist before and this video is absolutely spot on. These folks are nuts and difficult to be around for sure let alone work for. You have to stay clear of a narcissist if at all possible.
She's totally right about the gift giving thing. I get lots of anxiety when he gives me gifts. I honestly hate it. Because I know he isn't gifting me this just because he loves me. He's giving me a gift so for the next week I will tell him constantly how thankful and appreciative I am for it and how wonderful and amazing he is. He expects me to now bend over and obey his every command. If I make him even the slightest bit of angry he will use the gift against me and tell me how I'm a spoiled unappreciative brat and how dare I have a tone when he bought me something. He expects sexual favors in return for buying me literally anything. Even if it's a $5 item. We are married. He has access to my account, but I don't have access to his. When I get paid the entire check goes to rent and bills. So I literally dont have a dime. So I am stuck having to ask him to buy me every little thing, and he acts as if I now owe him, even though I'm paying the rent and bills.
It’s an eye opening to c all this. U guys r awesome 😊
Thank you ! I was just thinking about a few conversations I had in LA when you started mentioning Los Angeles.
I do believe that if you are with a narcissist in a long term relationship . You can start to pick up their traits. And keep thinking that isn't who I am. So I had to get out and get back to me. Lying is a bad thing. I would catch myself and felt terrible. No more of that for me. It's wrong!
English Upper classes, mind field, you really help people be aware of these problems, thank you
I was married, 5 kids, the dude tried to kill Me twice, initially he raped Me at 16: I was forced to marry him by My grandfather and church shaming Me.. dude later molested My kids: and yes, narcissists can manipulate therapists. Even after a charge of him beating on Me, and attacking Me with a weapon: he played the victim to a new female therapist. The experienced forensic psychologist told Me My ex was a really f#cked up pedophile, but his new therapist believed My ex, when he cried victimhood: never marry a rapist, they will only rape your children
That’s Christianity for you
Religions are sick
Shame, sorry you and your children went through that. I hope you all are working through it. Bless
I have a relative who’s spouse was molested and has had several affairs , alcoholic, perverted and even chocked her during sex . And he refuses to charge. What’s his “disorder?” I call him Evil !! 🙄
@@mrm5183 that’s not Christianity. Those are garbage people. I grew up Catholic and we wouldn’t dare force a girl to marry her rapist. Many priests would indeed say it’s not her fault, even if she becomes pregnant. They will force a woman to give birth to a child of rape (an argument being it’s not the child’s fault that it was conceived), but they won’t force someone to marry a rapist. But apparently, you took her whole paragraph and specifically reduced it to Christianity because of her father. Not to hate on the woman and I understand how difficult it definitely is, but as a grown woman, she can’t say religion kept her in that marriage. Divorce, calling the police, and leaving were all options. Again, stuff like this is difficult but it is never impossible. And hopefully she did her best in the situation that she was in
Don’t blame an organization for people’s choices without good reason
What a great video! Very informative.
I think narcissists WILL listen to you in the beginning so they know how to manipulate you
Very true,like my landlord.
That’s a relief! I am extremely empathetic & sometimes my family/friends from back home accuse me of narcissism for my ambition 🤪
Hugs from empath to empath
Imagine that.
Two people having real healthy feelings❤❤❤
Love the sofas! Love the conversation!
I think a a lot of what's being called narcissistic is not really part of a disorder but a spectrum of states that most people are capable of depending on circumstances. I've been in some really bad situations with narcissists so I know they exist and they are incredibly toxic. But when you start to try to list the traits - these are traits most people can exhibit depending on circumstances.
I think the important difference she said is, a narcissist will have at least one or more traits. Not, if you exhibit these traits, then you’re narcissist.
Similar example:
Someone who is poor will live in a inexpensive home. But not all people in inexpensive homes are poor.
Tell a narcissist you don’t believe a word they’re say and wait for the raging snap.
What if they’re missing one or two of these traits? I actually watched this video specifically with someone in mind. But this person doesn’t speak about overachieving goals. 🤷♀️
@@jackieboud2490 these disorders arent programs on a computer, you can be in between, everything is a spectrum. some ppl are more narcissistic than others.
You cannot have a disorder without traits - you must meet the criteria of traits to be considered or diagnosed. We all can experience these traits at a degree momentarily but it is not the way we consistently function. It’s wise to leave this up to the professionals because they have years of education that goes into identifying personality disorders and the consistent traits that make up those disorders.
OMG!!! Can we PLEASE have this show become a reality??!!! Ratings would be HUGE to watch Dr. Ramani put on a spy cam and work a room at a party!!! GENIUS IDEA! Lol
But... Didn't she, also, say recording someone is a narcissist trait, too? I think I've watched too many of these videos and am just more confused. Cause first I hear to record their bad behavior then I hear doing so is a narcissist trait. Also... I've been trying to figure out how someone "on the Spectrum" can't be a narcissist, too. Hmm no! That's not even true. That's like saying a POC can't be a racist. Also, not true. The amount of double information from ONE source is annoying.
I have some of these characteristics. I’m honest. That’s what makes me so special. My honesty.
You’re not special you’re evil
Omg you saved me I been in a relationship 5 years I thought she just crazy now I understand thanks so much
Listening to this actually reminded me exactly of an ex. Constantly requiring thank you for something, being superficial, be Charming to start off with, constantly seeking admiration, gaslighting me of my reality and trying to make me think it didn’t happen, tendency to have rage over the smallest things. When explaining being worried to go places and why after the first week of him saying it’s all in my head when he knew it wasn’t he would get annoyed and tell me to get over it no empathy what so ever, purely nice to me based on what he could gain from me, verbally abusive and manipulative for his own gain which came to light in the end. After the first two weeks of love bombing it was a nightmare. Nothing I done said or tried was ever good enough after the love bombing faze ended
Great session. Thanks
I've learned if you think the narcissistic person has changed and is being nice is when you want to be most cautious
Yes a show with Ramani with a hidden camera !! MAKE IT HAPPEN 🎉❤❤❤
Covert narcs can be sulking in the background, not really the centre of the party. Those are really the worst, hard to spot them, takes time to see their true colors.
Frenemies are dangerous 😵
and when you figure them out they don't go down alone.......they want you to suffer with them lol
Plus, as you’ve said in other interviews, empathy can be feigned.
Here’s a new one, putting other people down because they’re insecure
I'd love to meet Dr Ramani. It's a pretty quick trip for me to get talking about your and my inner worlds.
One of the worst things about finding out your with a Narcissist is how rarely they're held accountable & often times how things play to their advantage (Or they make it that way). For example, after leaving my ex-partner & her blaming me for everything - this essentially provoked 'trauma-bonding' to get the new partner on board towards 'his duty' of protecting her emotional state. All I can say is: He's got a world of hurt coming his way. I'm out of Shawshank! thanks to Dr. Ramani & real friends who have your best interests at heart.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control it. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this hacker on INSTAGRAM tech_expert211 who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband instagram.com/tech_expert211
The lack of empathy #1, describes my ex-wife to a T. I actually never knew it was a lack of empathy until this video. The fact that this expert put it as the number one predominant trait is very eye-opening to me. As far as my ex, she had/has 6 of the 7 signs with the only exception being rage. Even then, it was "seething" rage I suppose.
Omg I lobe this part 5:00 on how to access a narcissist quickly! The last guy I dated was a narcissist. He kept talking. Made it all about him. Blah blah blah 🙄🙄🙄
Thank you for the recognition,is about time.
I need this! Tank you!
Can you make a new video on psychopaths, sociopaths, and borderlines? I've watched the few you've made in the past but can you do another one and compare/contrast them and how they're different from Narcissism? There seems to be so much overlap between the four, even though only three of them are Cluster B.
Borderlines- are more shy than npd, not charming as much, more cautious/quiet, though have emotional outbursts, you feel hot and cold with them, etc.
Npd- Grandiose, charming, "I'm gonna be the next famous actor! The crowd will cheer my name." or "We'll go on our dream vacation and then buy our dream house!", attention seeking "Not to brag but I'm the top employee at my job ;)", embarrassing/awkward/rude "Hey, that sandwich your eating... Can I have a bit?"
Aspd (socio/psycho)-
Anger/rage, never show fear, something will feel off, they will talk randomly about dark things like dead animals, they will do weird things to try and scare you like jumping out of a closet and surprising you, or driving faster than the speed limit. "Slow down!"
Psycho: "Nah (speeds up even moreeeeee).
You will feel cold with them. They will feel empty. One day you look into their eyes and nothing is there.
Thank you thank you thank you
At last understanding
Hidden no more x
My father to a T. Corporate lawyer. I was literally his whipping post. Effed me up.
I have found that they suck up all your energy. Almost like they get charge from others.
Yes this is exactly the person I just started dating. He somehow thinks he’s successful though he barely had any property except recently bought a fancy second hand car and lived in a cheap apartment building. And he brags about how hardworking he is when he seems getting distracted a lot during work. He talks big, and seems way too charming. Almost everything I say or ask, he has a smooth answer. And he also tried to control how I look. When I told him I wasn’t feeling well today, he said I probably had COVID and showed no empathy then started talking about himself. Definitely gonna stop seeing him.
Thank you for saving me from misery.
Thank you so much for these videos. I've found them VERY helpful. Question: Where did you get those couches? Seriously, beautiful.
As far as having an “inner world” I think that is more of an introvert thing… some of these traits can also be explained by different personality *types*, not necessarily disorders… plenty of people aren’t comfortable talking about their feelings to new people, especially at a party…
Yes! That's because narcissists and other malignant people are looking for gossip material and things with whom they can later on manipulate you. People who experienced a lot that that after trusting someone, they betray that trust - they become more reserved and open up more slowly.
My MIL seems very empathetic, but her caring and willingness to help someone out turns out just to be a chance to be the hero and get commendation.
Narcissists are controlling, manipulative, egotistical and are liars! They will try to prevent you from having friends, enjoying yourself, and finding peace. This is because narcissists are very insecure and they have no soul, so they will try everything in their power to destroy yours. If you even suspect these types of traits, get out before it's too late!
Your Relationship Coach CZcamsr 💙
Narcissism is so complex I don't see how the typical person can avoid being exploited by it. I would bet that even the narcissist doesn't even realize their own affliction.
Well this is scary because my bf is definitely a narcissist, tried to leave him couple of times but he doesn’t want to leave. Have been with him for 10 years and realised during covid as we didn’t quarantine together, I started to feel myself again lost weight, start few projects, even my friends realised that, but now I’m back again feeling frustrated despite my strong character, he wanted to marry me but I didn’t say yes because I know once we get married it will
Be a nightmare even if we get kids. Sometimes when we argue he is telling me that I won’t be capable to raise kids etc. I don’t know how to end this to be honest, but I hope to find the courage to end this
My father is narcissistic. I have learned over the years of watching him to disengage from him and our relationship is extremely superficial. We never say, “I love you.” I would never initiate that.
Agreed. Jealously and making up stories living in a fantasy land, oh boy I remember I was so exhausted when she was a round.
One of my ex SOs ticks every box. We were old high-school friends, reconnected after I got sober (immediately after, couldn't see the red flags, too lonely and vulnerable) she also had a tough childhood, only child, chronic degenerative muscle condition so she gets a pass from a lot of people "she's fun to be around, energetic, leadership qualities" it got to the point where once I realized what she was doing to me, I also realized she was cheating. It kind of all clicked I to place, like those TV moments of all the pieces coming together, I thought "how could I be so blind, did I subconsciously know and just didn't want to admit it?" If I didn't firmly believe cheating is an absolute deal breaker, especially ongoing cheating, I'd probably still be in that relationship, probably have kids by now, might be looking for a way to prove what was happening to get sole custody and escape, dealing with her gaslighting everyone around me to destroy my life. Luckily it only took 5 years and we were young, so I had time to grow through it without feeling "too old to be loved". She ended up with someone who, before I woke up, I thought of as a close friend friend who turned out to be fairly pathologically childish like her, constant gaslighting, pretentious, vain. Honestly as miserable as they seem to this day 15 years later, I think they're both too terrified of loneliness to risk splitting up because I know deep down they both hate themselves, so they're the only people they know who will deal with what the other one puts out. Its really sad but I have to temper that sadness against how toxic they both were for the people around them. I lost a lot of friends in the breakup because I wasn't allowed to be mad at my wife and best friend for running around behind my back, it really showed me who my real friends were, and in the end I think "wow, it only took me five years to stop chronically trauma bonding to people who want to take advantage of me, and recognize what healthy friendships and romantic relationships look like. Not bad for a former addict battling ongoing depression, considering some people never get there." I really am fortunate for the friends and family that stuck by me and forced me to stay in touch when all I wanted to do was check out and bury my head in the sand. To this day, I still unravel new facets of my depression tied to her and my tendencies in romance, it gets a little better every day, my primary mantra is to not hate them, because as messed up as I feel, they must fell 100 times worse deep down and will likely never experience the depth of love I have found since then because it would interfere with their facades. One day I realized that their story was more depressing to me than my own, and I thought "is that me gaslighting myself for them that they are victims, or is it that I am just finally accepting myself as ok and not trash?" They are victims too, but that's their responsibility, not mine. I can't fix them, and they're toxic to me, so there's nothing for me to do but learn and move forward.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control it. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this hacker on INSTAGRAM tech_expert211 who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband instagram.com/tech_expert211
I'm here because once again I've been bowled over by another one but she's not so over the top with her symptoms and they've been slow to appear so I need to know how to spot them faster. When I first met her she seemed to be super sweet and funny. The 1st sign was the first time she came over for coffee she started bitching about how cruel her daughter was being to her but she wasn't saying anything about how she was as a parent. She later actually said she was a perfect mother. Ya, like that exists. The next thing I noticed was she wasn't returning text messages and calls. She actually let 2 weeks go by w/o a call back but then I missed her call the other day because I'm really sick and she was pissed!!! That was the last straw for me. I'm literally dying of starvation, she knows it and couldn't care less.
Don't worry about my last sentence I'll be OK one way or another it's just that I'm once again blown away at the lack of empathy yet they expect it from you 100%. I cannot wrap my brain around it.
Now I know that I'm attracted to the outgoing, funny, loud people and that's the problem! Check!!
It's over and never again!!!
Dr Ramani ❤️
Omg...this explains so much about someone I know...
Why can't I stop watching these videos 😖
Like I said I have a narcissist stalking me on Instagram & posing as different celebrities or singers! He's a a famous singer & I caught him on lies & dishonesty! I would block him & he still comes back for more
Socially anxious! Yesss! I’ve been forced out of my quiet, overly thinking, over analyzing each word actual personality because it just doesn’t jive with society, so talking about much other than my personal experiences and mostly and how they relate to what’s being discussed is typically my go to filler conversation so I don’t look like an idiot, but I’ve been chastised by my adult child, saying I only talk about myself. So I’ve always wondered if I’m a narcissist in that aspect, but it’s either talk about what I’m familiar with or don’t talk at all, the in between is horribly awkward with long pauses that drive up my anxiety. Funny thing too is that I have such an aversion to a narcissistic personality that when I met my socially awkward husband, we were literally perfect for each other. We can sit and cuddle and not say a word for hours and hours and it’s perfectly fine. Neither of us feel any pressure to converse. Our love language is cuddling and just enjoying each other’s company. My oldest two kids, though, I feel like they may be narcissistic or on some spectrum of it. Both lacking empathy, both pathological liars. I’m to the point where any communication that happens with them will have to be gray rocked because they both will turn everything around to hurt you in the worst possible way, and it gets really bad around holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, or vacations. Any sort of happy time they know about, I can typically expect to be contacted and the special occasion ruined as a result.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist that might be a sociopath or psychopath as well. The whole relationship I questioned my self worth. He would lift me up just to stomp me down over & over again for 3 years. Everyone told me to get out & run away, but I couldn’t see why, I was in love with all the good we had that I honestly pushed all the bad aside to make him happy. But the truth was he was happy when he made me feel low. He was the happiest when he knew I had given him control it. The moment I stood up for myself was the moment it got physical. He made me out to be the “crazy” woman online & his friends would laugh at me for the things he did to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed & low. The whole thing was so stressful I landed myself in the hospital with a heart problem. Even then I didn’t see it for what it was. He was no where to be found as I would collapse on the floor from poor circulation. Even then “I was making up illnesses for attention not until a friend of mind introduced me to this hacker on INSTAGRAM tech_expert211 who helped me to access my husband's phone & gave me all the necessary informations I need so i can get a divorce,now I'm free from my narc husband instagram.com/tech_expert211
It's devastating when your kids have NPD.
Thanks
I didn't want to label a particular person in my life a narcissist because i know it's overused but i find myself having to admit that this person just fits it so well.
Also props to Dr Ramani's video-friendly professionalism: When she stumbles over her words she starts the sentence again to give the editors a chance to edit out the stumble if they want to.