What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED
Vložit
- čas přidán 5. 01. 2017
- Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the process, discovered that simply asking for what you want can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends.
TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more.
Find closed captions and translated subtitles in many languages at www.ted.com/translate
Follow TED news on Twitter: / tednews
Like TED on Facebook: / ted
Subscribe to our channel: / tedtalksdirector
6 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from rejection
30 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from acceptance
Naruto Uzumaki
full circle
.....@Ethan Micallef *Underrated comment*
.............@@jesuslovesyou7130 *Underrated reply*
And he spends the next 10 years to overcome his fear of acceptance
Acceptance but no woman.
'what a nice guy' they say. 🤗
"Never reject yourself before they reject you"
- Me 2021
"If they reject you, just eject them"
- Me 2021
"Never ask who I am or what my name is, don't even say it."
- Mama, Joe. (1942 - 1969)
@@fabrizio9818 ok Mike
So many people just don't let others get to know them. Instead they present a list of all the (assumed) reasons to not like them at the very first encounter 🙄 I hear people refer to “humility/modesty” a lot these days, almost inflationary - this is certainly not what it means, though
Such a good way to put it
1. Don't run. Stay engaged.
2. Ask "Why?"
3. Relate to their emotions and mentions their doubts
4. Just ask for what you want
5. Embrace rejection
Beautiful summary
Easier said than done, but really nice summary.
"Most successful people do not let rejection define them. They let their reaction to rejection define themselves." Amazing TEDTalk!
How can i copy this
It’s not “reaction” but conscious response. If you’re afraid of rejection and you react to it, you’ll just keep running in a variety of ways (which isn’t always running away, it could just mean being more clever in how you get the other person to say yes, because it still defines as a person whether they say yes.)
insightful
wow I just asked a girl out she turned me down and this was the first video in my suggestion feed. thanks CZcams.
Hi M
r. Chicken, did you ask her why she said no? Little known fact about getting a yes for a date...you have to ask with specifics ..ask her "may I take you to ( specific place) on ( specific day) at (exact time)? ". Once that person has more specifics you are more likely to be offering something that the person wants and lessens their doubt.
@@KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN I did exactly that, I asked a girl "Hey, I'm going to see a movie on Thursday with a friend at 12:40, would you like to come?" (I texted her this)
She said no, so I asked if she is free saturday, she said she is busy working.
I'll give it a week, then ask more broadly, something like "Hey, would you be interested in hanging out somewhere, on the holidays?", so she can't go "sorry, im busy the whole holidays". (Face to face)
@@snowframe2995 Hey, how did it go? :)
jokdaris no luck :p
@@KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN you may get a yes that way if its something she wants to do , but if she isn't attracted to him which she clearly already decided. Then he is better off this way , instead of wasting time and money on her he can find a girl that is attracted to him .
Hint , use your money to buy a Gym membership and work out , everyone Male and female is attracted to people l.j e that are inshape.
Jia: Can I do a Ted talk about being rejected?
Ted: Sure thing bro
Jia: (wtf dude you're supposed to say no)
Sushant Manandhar classic Ted
His rejection got rejected!
@@everangelist I think that's what you call rock bottom?
😂😂😂😂
@@oreoflores7204 😂😂😂😂
Please also take note of this lesson he imparted: “And then, I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.” That is an underrated statement. Learning how to advocate for yourself, because you know you deserve the best is a very important life skill.
That's not advocating for yourself. Advocating for yourself is convincing people of your worth, not getting stuff while also being worthless. Everybody has something to contribute, not enough people actually contribute.
@@knifeyonline the key point is that he advocated for himself while also really trying to give his best. You can see it pretty clearly in the videos he posted: in the doughnut one he asks expecting a "no" and was caught by surprise when the cashier actually helped him. That probably helped him a lot to see his goal: not asking absurd requests and doing nothing about it but asking weird questions and backing his requests with his own capabilities. Like what happened with the lesson in University, where he came prepared with Powerpoints and everything. I hope I explained myself as English is not my first language.
@@gennarorusso9959 I was replying to the comment and not the video. "You deserve the best" is bullshit losers say to themselves and become jealous of everybody else. The truth is, you deserve whatever you earn, and it's based on how much effort you put in. If you think "You deserve the best" by default, then why even work? You should just be given everything for free if you deserve the best.
@@knifeyonline I didn't say otherwise. "You deserve the best" shouldn't be the same as "I should get whatever I want without proving myself".
@@gennarorusso9959 the best means it's something better than everybody else gets or has gotten. Everybody can't have the best, if everybody had it then it would be average... the average is never the best by definition.
Rejection is often a “chance” in disguise.
I got rejected by a coffee shop I applied to, 3 months later I got a job as a staff writer in a newspaper company.
My ex-boyfriend fed me with constant rejection, I left him and found my current bf-who’s the total opposite of my ex.
Sometimes all we have to do is accept that there are things in this world that is just *not for us*. Leave the close doors closed, let other doors open.
Congrats!!! I love your viewpoint. May I ask how you landed the job as a newspaper writer? Did you have a portfolio of writing or how did they select you? I’m asking because I’d love to do similar.
that's great , you found what is for you! I'm trying to think that way too. If something is meant to be, then it will be. Although it's hard to leave the closed doors closed, gotta move on so that doors that are meant for us will open : )
if burger refill becomes a thing, it's because of this guy
Howard Schultz might put greeters at his Starbucks just to speed up his 2020 campaign... that 5 million views sounds hot.
I peed a little lol
bottomless burger refills plz
I'll take one hamburger and gladly pay you on Tuesday.
All you can eat buffets are a thing.
Thank you Jia I guess.
Rejection hurts because it makes us doubt ourselves but the worst thing is ‘inaction’. As long as you are moving forward, you are doing ok.
My Dad's words to me. Golden!
I _loath_ inaction.
nicedog1 exactly. I totally agree. Perseverance!
nicedog1 mind if I use your quote?
And how did you receive your understanding of “Rejection”?
-it is true.
so fucking true
“When you get rejected in life , when you’re facing the next obstacle or failure , consider the possibilities - don’t run. If you just embrace them , they might become your gifts as well.”
- Jia Jiang
I embraced the rejection and got the gift of a restraining order 👍
That was a fantastic use of 15 mins of my time. This guy is funny, inspirational, and I needed that. Feeling so rejected lately and have been forgetting to see it as opportunity for growth.
Agreed
Rejected Continuously in 28 interviews....just to be a Software Developer in 29th Interview..Happy that I didn't Give Up...
hope its going well
Sweet,man. Congratulations. 😀
Great job, now keep working it’s only the beginning
holy pearl. top class, son. this is the positive stuff we need to read
👏👏👏
This was a fucking amazing TED talk
14:33 say it don't spray it
Carlos Reyes I truly agree man life is changing
Tharun Jain OZILLL
i agree, this was a GREAT talk
Carlos Reyes Absolutely. Best thing I've seen in a while!
This talk is so amazing! I laughed the entire time but then I cried at the end because I realized how much Ive let my fear of rejection control my life. I felt overwhelmed thinking of the instances Ive let my fear stop me from chasing my dreams. I intend to take back control of my life. Thank you for this life changing talk!
You can do it 💪💯🔥🔥🔥
You can!!!!!!
@Five o’clock pervert Honestly I thought the same but if it motivates people that's cool
I feel you! Been there and still are I think, but we are improving :)
@Five o’clock pervert facts
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
-Michael Scott
or was it Wayne Gretzky ? :D
@@mannyechaluce3814 ;)
@@mannyechaluce3814 it was obama
Wayne Gretzky
Traveel how tf did u forget this
I like how he turned a serious matter in life into humor
Necessary public speech skills in order to attract the audience's attention.
That’s how many comedians work.
well it is stand up comedy
@@JulyFourth1776 esssssssgssssgfsesgssxsss dog cc hahahagggxssxxf gg g GG ha ffgsgg gf ggxxcg gf g GG ggfgggxgxggh gg ggshggsgxsxgxggfxh ha ggsgcgsffgscggfgsg GG ggfgggxgxggh gfgfghfssggggghgwchfhhfs gc hcfhxgcsghhshghgg gg fhfghfgfhhfhhfhhgsgggggfhggghgghhfcgghfhhhhfhcghhhhhghgffhhhhgcgshhfhghhhghhhhhchhgffgggghhhhhghhhghghhhfhhghhghxhhhhhchhxfgfghhhhfhhhhhchhhfhhhhfghhhhfhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhgfhhfhhhghfhcggggggghffhgggghghghggghghghghhhfhghgfhhgfhcghghhhhhhhhchhhhhgsghhgfhhghhgghhhhcxhhhhhfhghhhhhxhhhhghfhhhhhgghxhhhhhfhhhhfhhhhhhhhfhhgfhhggghhhwfhfhfhhhhhffghhhgfgfgghfhhhhhhhhhhhhghhxghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhfhfgfhhfhhhhhhhhhfchhhffhhhchhhhxhfhhfhhhhhhhgfhhhghhfhxhhchhhhhchhhhgfhcchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhgfgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhgghhghhgghhhghhghhhfhghhhhhhhhhchfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhgghhhhhhhhchhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhfhhhgfhhhhhhhhhhffhhchhhhchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgfgchhhfhhhhhchhhhhchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhfchhhhhhhhhhhhxfchhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhghfhfhhhfhhhfhhhhfhhhhhhihhhchhhhhfhhhhhfhihhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhfhhfhhhhhhhchhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwchhgfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhhhhifhhhgfhhhhhhhfghhghhhhhhhhhhhihhhhghhhhhhhhhhhshhhhhshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhihhhhhhhgh8hhhshhhhhhhhhhhhchhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhfçhihfhhhhhhhhhehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchçhiih8hhhhçchhhhhhhihiffhhhhçhhhhhhhhhifh8hhhhhhhfiihhhihii8çfhiiiihiihicihhhiihiihhifh8hi8hihhhhhhçhcfçchhhhhihhhhfhhccçhfchhicfiffçfffcch8ffhfhihhhhhhiccçehçcgiffchhhfhfhhhhffhiççfcccfhhhhhhhhfffhçhcçhiççiçhhhchihhchfffhfffcchifcccccccccffccçchhhhcccchcccccfcfiifffhifccchçccccfffffihhçcccffcccffffcfffffhffcifffccçfccffcçhffffchffcccffcfhfcciiccccfiificiccchhffccccciffffihhhhffccccciccf8cçfcfccffchhhhçffccccccccciccfhfffcchhcfcchccccfcccicchhchccccfcfcffccchcc8ffffccccccchccfchchiifccccucchfcccccffffffffchcfcccccffffichhhccccccfffffhhffcccchccccccccccicccfifçhccchicchcccccffccccccffifhfchfffcchfqcccçccchçccfffffhfffccciiicihhcccccccccfhccfffcccccfçfccçhccccfffcccccfffffcffffhihcfcfffcfcccccccccccfcccccffccccffccccifhfccccifficgfffffffcccccccfcifcfhhhhhfchfcccfffccffiuccffffffhfchfhiiffffffcfffccfcccccccccccchhfhffciffffffffccccccfcccccccccccffcciccccccccccichcffhfcicicccccicccccccffcccccccccccccfffccffuçcgccicffifffcfccccffifcffffffffffffcifcifffhfffcccccccccccccccfgccccccccccccccciuicccccccccccchchfcfccccchchffffcccccffffccccccccccfffcccccffffffcfcccccfccfccchfffffffficccffcccifffffffcccfccccccccccfffffccccccccccccçcfcffcccfcccccccc gccccccccccffffffffffffhfhf hfiiccchcfhfcffhhhhhhfffhffccffccccffffffcccccffcccccccccchffcicccccfciccicffffcgfffcfccccccffccfffccfcfifffciiccccccffficccchcccffcfffffccccfchffiffcicccchfficcccihcccc chcufhfhhcfhcchccçcfcffiffccfcicccccccccccccfccfffcccccccccccccccccccfffcfcccffffcffccffccccccfcffffffcfcfffcffhffffcccccccccccfcffhhiifffcffffiffffcccccicccfcfccccccccccccffccfcc
@@TheMarkoPoloProgram ccfhffhifffccfccfffcfcccccccfffucccccccccfucccccccciccccchcfffhffcciiccccccccfcfcfccfccccccfccccccicccccccffhcchifhccccccccfhccocfffff gccfcffcfffc
The only bad thing about this talk is that it ends :(
For all my sales people out there: “Rejection” doesn’t become rejection once you’ve gotten over that fear. It turns from an emotional reaction to a logical pathway to success. Finding the true root of the concern, nothing to do with you personally.
"Sometimes you can even get rejected by lighting" LOOOL
Im gonna ask for a burger refill at every burger place now. Thank you
Then you get a bill for the burger refill!
@@toalhousecokey25 then you run (the only time the ted talker would allow it...)
Remember to ask why
got me laughing men
Take the wrapper and lay it flat on the counter when you ask 😆
It’s one thing to celebrate your successes. It’s another thing entirely to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Often that uncomfortable zone is where you find the most profound growth.
Yesterday I started my 30 day rejection challenge based of this video, wish me luck
I'll never forget being 8 yrs old in the drive-thru w/ my dad telling me that rejection is nothing to be afraid of (he IS an amazing salesperson), and then proving it by asking for a FREE large order of fries at the drive-thru speaker at McDonalds. He joked with the cashier for a second, then asked again. She laughed and said "I don't think that's possible," and my father said, "We would love it if you could do it!" and pulled forward.
What do ya know...the girl hands us our order. NO fries. Then she turns to grab something else...THE BIGGEST BAG OF FRENCH FRIES I'VE EVER SEEN. It was. an. entire. bag. of. fries. All these employees start laughing. My face must have lit up. To this DAY, I've never seen that many french fries at one time. These people EMPTIED the stockroom to make this thing. Laughter abounds. A lesson learned...
And somewhere, a lost french fry rests silently beneath the seat of an '88 Ford Taurus...
AWESOME VID!
Awesome comment! Thanks for that story 😊💜
You have such a great father. Lucky guy :)
That's beautiful.
Lead by exemple! Your father got it ;) what a good exemple to you!
Love it! Thanks for sharing.
Last five minutes of the talk, i can't help thinking: "Did you ask TED to let you give a speech?"
Lmao ur an acc genious
Damn, Ted is a really cool guy if that's true
Haahahaa gud one
hahaha
Even if he did, he gave one, right?
“The people who really change the world. Who change the way we live and the way we think are the people who were often met with rejection. “
-jia jiang
Some of the fastest 15 minutes I've ever spent. Everything was so heartfelt, relatable, and real. This was amazing and exactly what I needed to see.
After her graduation ceremony at school, my daughter wanted to have a nice dinner at a famous restaurant. When we walked in, the waiter told us that the restaurant was fully book and asked us to come back the nextday and made a reservation first.
We walked out of the door . Then I remembered something. I walked in again and asked the waiter while pointing at a reserved table : ‘when are the guests supposed to show up?’ In one hour.
So i gave him an offer : if he can prepare the food in 15 minutes, we would dine and got out of there in 30 minutes. He thought for a minute and we had our dinner there.
On the way out my wife asked me how I managed to do that. Without turning my head, I said : ‘I watched this stupid video by a guy named Jia on CZcams and gave it a shot...........’
:))) Made me happy
lol! only thing is that this isn’t a stupid video :D
Nice try mate
Only, it's NOT a stupid video! It works!
Love this. Except your choice of the word "stupid". Cmon man this one "stupid" video got you and yo fam some fancy food at a fancy restaurant. :)
damn this guy really made a career out of being rejected.
he needs to go talk to all the simps in the e-girls twitch chats.
😂
now that's not a very healthy way to look at it
Facts🤣
Fr
Anyone remember watching his CZcams channel back in the day?
He looks like he still struggles a little with self confidence but in the end he still managed to show this incredible lesson and just watching it makes me inspirational. This guy rocks!
He gave a TED talk... man
He s a step ahead most of us...
Facing back to back rejections in interviews since past two months. This video brough smile to my face. Not giving up!
My teacher once told me something that really helped. She said don't be scared to ask, all someone can do is say "no", they can't do anything worse than that. I don't know why it really had an impact on me.
My Godmother shared the exact same advice with me in my early 20's which has helped me so much.
So how many men you asked out and how many rejected you?
my friend said the same, but the girl said 'ew' :')
@@bullseye6969 fr
I asked someone to give me the vape pen and they chased me away with brass knuckles.
"when I was 30"
This man looks no older than 25
Youth has not rejected him
Its an asian thing, for some reason we look young to westerns
Except for women :/
You're right. People suck at guessing age. "hE lOoKs So yOuNg". No, he looks like he's 33-36.
@@ventithedrunk9506 I guess because western people dont take care of themselves too well. plus, asian people age in the proper way, at least most that i know.
One of the nicest and very engaging TEDx talks I've heard recently. The way he uses those anecdotes to drive home his point is absolutely brilliant. I'm positive that many people will find this talk helpful.
This is one of my favorite TED talks of all time. The idea of fear of rejection maybe simple on the surface but it's a prevalent issue for many. I also read Jia's book and his insights gained from his rejection experiment are important lessons. My favorite two are most rejections are not personal and rejection is merely a numbers game. The book is a mix of scientific research and personal experiences.
This is possibly one of the most inspiring ted talks I've ever seen.
Is that you, Bob?
@@icecreamforcrowhurst Tis I
the best one ever i was so hooked kept on repeating some words .... didnt think so many would agree with me
100% Agreed.
It's probably because it's a very relevant problem, and he has very good teaching skills.
Now go and ask Bill Gates if you could buy his company
Lol
Which one?
@Alexander Supertramp he means which company
for a 1$
Is that weird?
attendance who watch 2024
Rejection is Redirection, the biggest moment in life came after I got rejected from something. I got what I needed 🤩
wow i've watched a lot of ted talks and this is my favorite one. he's so genuine, his story is so relatable and i want a burger refill
Kelly you the man bro
Damn, Kelly taking up intellectual content.
always me last
Kelly watched smart videoss????
kelly, I love your videos man
I love how the Doughnut lady took it as a challenge and actually came out with Olympic ring donuts.
@johnnytheprick nope
@johnnytheprick It REALLY is!
We all have a traumatized little kid inside of us controlling our lives. George W. from grade school in Danboro Pa., this is your friend Marcus. You were picked on like crazy, and you didn't deserve it! If you see this comment. I love you man!
7 years later this is still the best TED talk!
In Jia's letter, he also mentions winning a Nobel prize and buying IBM by the age of 35. Cool guy.
“Sometimes you get rejected by lighting” 😅
that was the funniest part lmao
Is it rejecting when it zaps you or when it avoids zapping you? 🤣
@@Director-M depends on the situation, if you want to be zapped and it doesn't or if you don't want to be zapped and it does...😅
As a Chinese saying goes, "As long as you don't feel embarrased, it is for others to." 只要你不觉得尴尬，尴尬的就是别人
Wow, I don’t even eat Krispy Kreme donuts but now because of that one employee named Jackie in Texas...my hope in humanity has been restored
This guy should totally start a career of stand-up comedy! He's got a natural and effortless sense of humor around him
Not really.. maybe for some chines guys that have no charm
i thini it's just that his type of personality is likable in a submissive and servile way (not bad thing). i always naturally seek to benefit these people with a smile for them because i know that alphas probably regularly take advantage.
@@andyreiter6253 WTF?
Andy Reiter fucking idiot
@@jdc4316 guys he's following the pattern :p
Top 10 TED talk for sure
TED has one up for 2016; my personal favorite is the "Danger of AI"
Mihker hear, hear.
SlayerUK no sorry, wish i had
can you sare some them with us please ?
Not even close.
There's a world of difference looking for rejection and feeling rejected.
“I experienced numerous rejections in interviews, which helped me learn and, finally, I aced the interview for a position as a bilingual kindergarten teacher in Japan.”
Yes, yes and double yes!
Here's a little story from my life:
When I was 17, I was the most bullied kied in school - BY FAR!
I then saw that something like a community on that new platform called "CZcams" was building. (It was 2010)
So I also started making videos....
I got laughed at by a couple of HUNDREDS of students EVERY DAY...but I didnt quit. I thought: "When you all hate me anyways, there's no point in quitting."
5 years later I had one of the most successful CZcams channels in Germany. (It's this one :) )
Then I retired from beeing a CZcamsr and started as a consultant for social media strategies in 2017.
I got rejected exactly 68 times until I signed my first customer for 200$ (lol).
Today I have clients all over the world. (Silicon Valley, Atlanta, Berlin,...you name it)
Don't let rejection define you. It is nothing personal.
In fact, If I would not have been rejected that often, I would not have known what my niche target group even needs...I would just sit there and call myself a failure all the time.
That's amazing! Congrats!!!
Your story is amazing :) I hope you continue to grow, you deserve it.
Deine Flachwitze Videos waren der Hammer :D
Well done
Brilliant, you are an inspiration
Notes:
- Don't run in the face of rejection, sit through and experience it.
- Address any concerns the other person may have, and they will feel more comfortable with you. (ex: "Is that weird?")
i wish somebody on my family would had told me that 5 years ago when i quit school for not being good enough, now im 25 without a career and my parents keep giving me the death stare for my lack of success in life.
You know it's never too late to learn there's no certain age for learning you can start now
And no worries, most don't work with their certificate, just learn something you love and have a field of work
@@cherry-hm2lr Agree
@@onceuponarevenant9409 Id recommend you to try to learn a new language and explore your interests, from there you might have a better idea of what youd like to do in life
@John Foley I tried taking Japanese once in school, but it didn't work out. It's said that you need to be in an environment where you need to use the language. Next time I should put myself in a Japanese community, but how?
It’s a very inspiring lecture. I’m doing a similar thing right now with socialisation because I was not very social up to the pandemic. I gave myself a couple of social challenges. One of them is writing 100 comments on CZcams (this is #7 😊)
Great job! I'm so proud of you
The idea of reevaluating rejection is truly a game changer as I learned that most rejections are not personal. This helped me with my confidence.
this is one of the most helpful and necessary video for today's world, where we all are getting rejected in some or the other way. It teaches us that rejection activates the same area as physical pain in the brain and by getting rejected more, you make your system anti-fragile and come out to be stronger. This really changed my life. ❤️ 💯
"So grandma, how did you meet granddad?"
"Well kid, he was very persistent. Like, VERY persistent."
So your grandfather was a "creep"
@@domri4203 Only if he was ugly.
He asked why, and boosted his chance.
@@PlaguedByEarth too real. go to logic jail. lol
@@PlaguedByEarth who wants an ugly partner ???
After this video, I asked a girl out and she said yes. I had to explain that I didn't really want to go out with her and that I was merely... Persuing rejection.
🤦
@@bullseye6969 ^ and that's exactly what she did to my face
@@bentonrp lol are you for real?
@@betiedu I didn't really do this. It was all a joke. After all, why would she say yes???
@@bentonrp Oh alright
"It's not a rejection, it's a redirection". What is meant for you will be.
That is the best speech I have ever heard in my 64 years on this earth. Funny too!
Thought it was going to be boring. It wasn't.
Props to the dude who immediately took a note of the rejection therapy website :)
You can tell he's been through some stuff :)
I immediately paused the video to make sure my brother saw that part
LOL -
I am not crying, you are...
This came in such a perfect time after being rejected so many times now
One of the best Ted talks I’ve heard. Thank you.
I have social anxiety, tried this and asked a girl I liked if she wants to go out with me. I ended up in the hospital due to severe hyperventilation and cardiac arrhythmias. My class is now making fun of me, calling me a psycho and the girl is one of them.
Guess I should've started with something potentially less stressful.
Feuerbringer awww dont give up😉
Feuerbringer i will date u (in an uncreepy way)😂😂
damn.... i thought i had it bad. it takes a lot for me to feel bad for someone and you did it. don't worry bro. i will always be here for you. i know you are a nice guy just misunderstood.
damn.... i thought i had it bad. it takes a lot for me to feel bad for someone and you did it. don't worry bro. i will always be here for you.
Well...
That man started off weak but he grew some balls of steel
Great TED Talk!!! One of the best I've seen!
I legit needed this! So great of you to bring such subjects to us. ✨
Comfort is the enemy of achivement.
But it's not always bad to be comfortable.
unknown beauty I can still be comfortable and grow, so you’re wrong.
unknown beauty But what happens when you are in deep, COMFORTABLE sleep? Your body recharges, you regain energy, and you regrow the muscle you destroyed working out!
Comfort is the enemy of achievement, so get comfortable in achieving things.
@@TheWelchProductions sleep is for the weak
"Sometimes you get rejected by lightning"
Man, this must have been how Zuko felt
He said “lighting” but I get it
The weight of regret is far more than the weight of rejection
come back to this one every once in a while. It's so great!
It's weird that this would show up right now, I started a similar project just a week ago (not knowing about this person which om now very interested in).
I have a really difficult time just talking to people for the sake of it, and I thought that is a massive roadblock in my life. So I made this game, where every school day on the bus home, I have to sit next to a stranger and just talk to them.
It's terrifying, but I see myself getting less scared, so it might be working :)
Tusenbensen cool! That's sorta what I'm doing too this year to face my social anxiety! Good luck! 👍
Tusenbensen Do many of them actually talk back? Good on ya for getting out of your comfort zone :)
If someone insults you, agree with them. Their reactions are funny, and you can make some good inside jokes. Because I'm drunk on oxygen.
That sounds amazing!!! I would love to know how it all works out.
YoAntoNeo
Thank you, and good luck with what you're doing Too ^-^
I never asked for anything, and had huge fear of rejection. Self reliant to a fault. But you can't do it all yourself.
Same here!
Same EXACTY here
Same. Being a lone wolf is hard sometimes
@@wrldtrvlr4vr Actually, being a lone wolf is literally all I have ever been and it's my safe space. Doing everything yourself due to lack of trust towards others actually has helped me. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but being a lone wolf is the most rewarding since you don't get assistance from people.
I couldn't believe it was such a short and informative speech...Loved every second of it
There are hundreds of amazing talks in TED, I don't doubt. But this one really touches something in my soul.
Saw this video recently.
I went down to a local bar and drank a couple of beers, then before leaving I asked to speak to the manager and I told him how much I liked the placed and asked if he could give me beer on the house...
No joke he actually brought me a beer on the house!
Thank you Jia Jiang for the burger refill idea, it may not work on burgers, but it certainly worked with beer.
In the face of rejection: DO NOT RUN
1. Ask why: people usually give you a way forward
2. Mention the doubt: "Is that weird"? - gains trust
3. Just ask: keep asking and you shall receive
If you ask why and they say "no" it's a dead end. Of course there's no mention of how to get around a No.
Unfortunately no is the only answer I get. So either I have to quit, brute force a yes, or ignore whoever is gate keeping.
I agree that you shouldn't run. Running is for cowards. Cowards usually don't win and nobody likes them.
@@Ikiratuki then Just Ignore It And Say Next .. I Usually Do This And I Most Of The Time Get Rejections.
Jia Ling Rights Rejection Is A Gift !
if they say no too many times there's always heroin
@@IKamiZz lolol pls no
Indrajit Rajtilak Blah
One of the best, if not the best, TedTalks I’ve ever heard. Great Job ! ! ! !
Thank you Jia Jing and Ted. The information shared is entertaining and valuable!
I've said for years that the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure, when in fact failure is a necessary part of success. Jia Jiang you did the best job of illustrating this that I have ever seen! Great talk.
Bad example would be Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos
not true, Armstrong. doctors, attorneys, engineers from our top universities are incredible professionals. Getting great grades at our best schools isn't failure-avoidance in the least.
Well said
@@RobertMJohnson i don't think that's what he meant by failure avoidance.
@@Dave_of_Mordor that's exactly what he meant, Luigi. "the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure"
what is more "formal" than the doctors, attorneys, engineers from the top-ranked universities in the US who make the highest grades and essentially do NOT go on to "fail" but achieve great success (to your point)?
He seems so genuinely happy with his life now, teaching about rejection and social change. I rarely see that much fulfilment on someone's face, when he talked about the book and teaching near the end.
Sami Aziz agree. He seems so genuinely happy with his life.
his grandma is happy that he's finally a teacher after all :D
This might be my new favorite video. Super encouraging
Jia, this is the absolute truth. Thank you for sharing your incredible story.
I think I speak for many subscribers when I say, "This is why we subscribed".
Everyone in life will experience some type of rejection. 'Rejection does not define you. The reaction after rejections defines you'. Great TED talk
14:12
People who really change the world, who change the way we live, and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. They didn't let rejection define them. They let their own reactions after rejection define themselves. Wow!
legendary, thank you so much for this upload.
I'm 55 and I still struggle with my inner child's rejection issues. I could've been a famous writer by now. I could've been a great artist by now. I could've been someone of great importance changing the world by now. But no. I am not. Now my internal excuse is "I'm too old to start now", and I struggle with that every day when I still try to move forward to being what I want to be.
Time will pass no matter what we do. So in five years from now do you want to be a 60 year old still struggling or do you want to be the best 60 year old in the world at writing? Best wishes.
embrace rejection, I just called a girl I assumed made up an excuse to end a date. Turns out that she really did have to deliver something, and now we're setting up another date in the near future!
D.K. as long as you are at peace with yourself, there is no need to be 'famous' or 'someone of great importance'. You are enough, & have every reason to be happy.
@@JamFlexx I FULLY second this comment...by far one of the greatest replies I've read. In a world full of unreasonable expectations, so many people feel like failures because they weren't #1 at something, or the richest, or the skinniest, or the buffest, etc, etc. One of the biggest realizations is that everyone in this world is just trying to get through life. If we make it easier for others instead of looking out only for ourselves, then that is success, and that is a life well lived.
@@frankcrank6262 well said brother .
This is one lively audiance. Some other audiance would have kept quit on all of his jokes.
allmightymhingo I've always wanted to do an eulogy.
Thats Portland for you
Just like TED audiance？
He’s hilarious tho for real
I never post a comment because I think there are so many comments already who would want to hear what I have to say, but today I chose to speak it might mean nothing to others but for me it makes a difference.
This was the best Ted Talk I think I have ever seen. Wow! This guys was so real, genuine and relatable.
Jokes on you, I have 29 years of rejection !
I accept you.
You're a cool dude.
GFmanaic lol scrub 😂
Still got a long time to go then... (38 here)
beat me to it
100 days of rejection? Pfffft that’s nothing I’ve been rejected for the past 23 years and counting 😎
18 here 😔
but you haven't been keeping track of your rejections...
Please do, also upload the videos for me to launch
Haha I can't count mine it's not too many I have been rejected by jobs like 500 times but those jobs weren't for me I guess.
You almost have reddit in your last name I’m not surprised
I've been at a marketing job for 4 days and have been rejected probably 80-100 times already during slow days lmao
Jia Jiang, your 6yr old's trauma is already dramatically impacting lives of all these commentors and viewers. Superb. Please DRIVE this message to the 8 billion of us who still desperately need this message, YOUR message. In that alone, a life worth having lived. Blessings and thank you.
I've always had this problem. everytime I felt like everyone is gonna reject me. but i wanna change this. i promise myself
~Gets inspired but doesn't implement practices in real life~
Floyd steel haha i knowwww
LMAO
too real 😂
ME LMAO😭
he could haven been a great sales person
Life lesson: everyone is as terrified of disappointment as you are.... use it against them
One of the best! I didn't expect his humor or the experience. Loved it.
This video tells every fear I have.. I am blessed.. Thank you..