How to spot a liar | Pamela Meyer | TED
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- čas přidán 12. 10. 2011
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On any given day we're lied to from 10 to 200 times, and the clues to detect those lies can be subtle and counter-intuitive. Pamela Meyer, author of "Liespotting," shows the manners and "hotspots" used by those trained to recognize deception -- and she argues honesty is a value worth preserving. (Contains mature content)
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One of the most common lies
"I have read the terms of service"
Perfect!!
This
Underrated comment
yes that being me XD
@@kokomislayyed1337 I do too lmao
The worst is accidentally smiling while telling the truth,and then everyone thinks you're lying.
HAHHAHAHAA that's right
Fr or laughing is annoying asf
Yep...
FR
FR 😂
that lady that smiled after her lie gave me literal shivers.
Yes pure evil!
yep
Oh, God yes!!😰😖☠ I grew up with a narcissistic mom: same thing there... A smile of a maniac
Spotting a liar is easy. Letting your heart admit they are lying, is the hard part.
People with social anxiety and serious introverts can show all the symptoms of lying while telling the truth because their whole personality is about being concealed, and they automatically do these things subconsciously. Their fears make them feel like they are lying although they are being truthful.
Clyde x I dont have social anxiety but I do show signs of lying when being questioned about things because I fear that ill be wrongly accused of doing so and I have this nervous smile which got me into serious trouble in school thats why I dont believe in lie detector tests or this women
Khalid Mohamed exactly. I have the same problem
Clyde x exactly I was about to say this
@@khalidmohamed1190 ip
Pmm.
The talk was about the population in general. She didn't go into the myriad of ways that people are different, or how to compensate for factors like those you mention.
Only so much you can cover in 20 minutes.
Me as a barista: “hey how are you today?”
Customer: “good! How ar-“
Me: “I want the truth, Linda”
Is that a Batwoman reference?
Hahhahah
HAHAHA
Kevin I laugh every time I go to the store. I ask the cashier if they're having fun. They always say "Yes" its a lie because they're at work. I've never had a fun job. I've had fun at my job but that was only planning what I was going to do during my time off.
*slams table and looks right in eye*
I have ADHD and some autistic traits. People often think I am untrustworthy and that I am lying because I am uncomfortable looking them in the eye. I might also figit and just look uncomfortable. The more I am misjudged, the more stress I feel in social situations. I am sure I also smile sometimes when it's inappropriate, because I have learnt that smiling can get people on side. It doesn't mean I am lying, or up to no good. I know that Pamela does say at one point that these are indicators of lying not proof, but I am sure a lot of people will forget that bit. Just please be aware that there are other reasons why people behave it these ways.
So sorry about that!
In another talk about liespotting (can't remember which sorry) an investigator talked about how you first define what is called a baseline.
A baseline is what people are like normally, like if they have ADHD etc.
It only if you know how they behave that you can tell if their behavoir is different when they lie.
I wish regular people (non-ivestigarors) did that as well!
Well said. A relative of mine is autistic, and she often smiles when it is inappropriate. I think the technical term is called "affective disorder".
Similar situation here. I'm bad at lying, but I think people choose to distrust me for not making eye contact or not being entirely comfortable around them from the start. So I just try to stay away from people that misjudge me and not waste my energy with them.
You don't need to worry too much if you have the moral high ground regardless of what they think. If they call you on something, they've got nothing and they make a fool of themselves. I like it when it backfires on them.
I am sure you are a great and trustworthy person Donna. Dont bother with those judging, its difficult I know, I am disabled because of a bike accident but sometimes people underestimate or maybe misunderstand the drive we as humans possess. You will be fine. Keep smiling and be safe.
“Oversharing - that’s not honesty.” Preach on!
Imagine her kids trying to lie to her
Same
Hnin Oo Wai Poor kids
Well, given the increased difficulty, they will adapt to it and become very good liars
#2 is sterile.
@@fifaisscripted The trick is to make sure they don't need to lie. Encourage and reward honesty, even when it is about things you really don't want to hear.
I found this in my parents watch history lmfao
Chris Rock y didn’t u just leave her?
@@chrisrock1021 So let me get this straight you have a girlfriend and a wife and hacked your wife to see if she was cheating.
@@a.j_lifetimea.j6494 just let her go instead of investigation
@@Izzy254er lmao Osrs.
@@Izzy254er he’s just trying to push some bullshit advertisement
The main lesson I learnt today was:
"Everyone is willing to give you something, for whatever it is they are hungry for."
If you do not want to be deceived, you have to know what is it that you are hungry for.
Spot on
I'm hungry for for crispy garlic chicken.
we need this now more than ever, especially now with people only being in their own little bubble on the internet, they need more perspectives, points of views, and ways to spot lies
I grew up in a home where I was constantly under suspicion. I was always the first to be accused of something. I now automatically act guilty when someone accuses me of something even if I am innocent. I even failed a lie detector test because I was under so much stress from being accused and I felt like no one would believe me.
😪😪
Yep people need to really wake up and stop believing absolutely everything the self-proclaimed body language experts say.. too many innocent people are being made to look guilty and too many honest people are being made to look deceitful .
T Harm - lol ..Why were you given a lie detecters test?
Just like when playing poker, to see if someone is lying you have to establish balance and the best way to do that is to ask them something you know they are telling the truth about but that is still a tense question. Once you have done that you have established their baseline and even if people act suspiscious when they are innocent this will usually come across in the form of physical cues. Verbal cues however tend to be pretty unbalanced, the choice of someone's wording, the tense they use, are they over defending their lie. These things tend to be pretty good indicators for these people but even for some people it can be hard to tell, this being said people will inevitably have a 'tell' because lying uses alot more of you're brain than telling the truth does
And that's exactly why they are not permissible in court
What if she's lying about how to spot a liar?
were fucked
dcos5 and you were lying calling her liar?
What if all motivational speakers are just regurgitaking of bunch of psychobabble to make lots of money that we all know is just basis common sense?
If we think its common sense then we wouldn't learn anything from this video. But we did...
YES TABOULI
This is one of the best TED Talks. She's funny and actually interesting
What wonderful voice you have Pamela Meyer...
... and I'm not lying!...
My natural introversion coupled with my low, monotone voice and emotionless expressions, always has me looking like I'm hiding something or generally just lack empathy. My wife always jokes that if she's ever murdered, they'll lock me up, even if I'm innocent.
+Dumb Troll Does Stuff. I agree! Only, I KNOW I'm telling the truth & KNOW what the truth is, but my nerves are SO bad that I'd look guilty as sin even though I'm totally innocent. Really sucks not being able to keep my cool when being truthful.
Me, too. I think for some of us, it comes partly from being young, and being interrogated by mean kids, and/or intense parental figures. It can become a thing where you associate interviews and interrogations as a prelude to physical assault, false imprisonment, or verbal assault, and as a result, you naturally try to protect yourself with evasive measures. Who can speak trustfully when they fear the person asking questions wants to do them harm?
***** I'm the same way with my son.
+James Bauer That's a pretty nice joke to tell !
+James Bauer I don't believe you.
Me while watching a tedtalk: wow this is amazing. I am now a changed person
Me, two months later: hey what was that again about spotting a liar?
Stop lying
Tell the truth, for goodness sake, that's you only a week later. 😂
Me while watching a ted talk: wow this is amazing. I am now a changed person
Me, two hours later: hey what was that again about spotting a liar?
you gotta rewatch the videos m8
Very enlightening. Thank you. My sixth sense usually tells me when not to trust. But often don't know the reason why...maybe the tell tale signs are hidden in my brain somewhere through observation and experience.
Part of the problem is that the world does not want the truth... they prefer the lie.
Sad truth
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎
This is what I realized when coming out of religion, or Christianity in particular.
That is why so many folks voted for Biden
@aba… religion is the root of all evil because it is fundamentally power-seeking.
Liars are believed more than those who tell the truth.
Because liars tell you what you want to hear. Most people can't handle the truth.
liars feed your bias and your bias blinds you to this. this is why we must question the validity of things even if they agree with our perception or opinion.
That's a lie
@@xcapematrix6002 is that your excuse to lie?
That would be because most people lie. And what people believe to be the truth is often a lie.
watching this so i can better spot the imposter in among us.
That’s exactly why I clicked on the video
Ikr
Lol
I’ve never laughed so hard
Lmao
Thank you very much, Pamela Meyer! One of the great TED talks!👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Whoever you are who can't sleep tonight, is tired or sad, believe that there will be tomorrow that will light up your beautiful days.
You just need to endure a little more, a little more, and a little more ...
Thank you for being patient, thank you for being able to survive. And as you read this, promise yourself that you will be able to get through your toughest days in the future.
Promise to keep smiling, no matter how you are ...
You deserve to be happy :)
Thank you for your kind words. The only truth that I’ve read/heard all night.
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎
anyone who smiles after saying that their kids was abused is not just a liar, its a psychopath
15:49 her smile after hearing that is so creepy
Exactly.. actually I got to the comments section trying to make that comment.. very creepy indeed. OMg
That scared me
Am I the only one who laughed at the utter ridiculousness of her words followed by the perfectly comedic timed smile? I mean, come on, it was so *blatantly bad* that it looked ridiculous. It's not creepy to me because she _failed_ so hard at trying to get away with something like that.
She's a sociopath, not a psychopath.
Psychopaths are excellent mimics/actors.
Omg yes her smile was soooo creepy I literally got chills
So there's no need to spot a liar because everyone's a liar...ironic
That's why I try to reduce contacts with people to a minimum.
@@Getoverhere666 You are missing out on life if you do that. Maybe you are more afraid of what people will see in you.
@@dawncase6330 It is just comfortable. No big deal actually.
it’s not about spotting a liar, we all are. it’s about being able to spot a lie, knowing when you’re being deceived. i don’t know, sounds pretty useful to me.
What if there really weren't no lies...how do we know lies exist in such a screwed up reality?
There’s so much science behind spotting a liar, love the speech, incredibly insightful!
*pseudoscience
R Kelly was furious during his interview about his crime, he must be innocent
i love how informative TED talks are.
The best way to lie in a compelling, unreadable fashion, is to convince yourself, in that moment, that the lie you tell is the honest to God truth.
The most terrifying lie someone can tell is the lie they tell to themselves, a lie they choose to believe in, so much so that they then begin to see the truth as completely alien. It is nearly impossible to see someone as a liar when they fervently believe their own lie.
+DarkCyberElf (Mylon Requiem) Yeah, this also goes hand in hand to what actors called, "getting into character". In which they will behave as and believe what their characters would believe. They almost lie to themselves in order to display these emotions as their character.
Kyle Scheirmann
Yeah, that's essentially the mentality I'm suggesting that one needs to assume to "properly" lie.
I just wanted to refrain from calling it "acting" simply because people can be bad actors. The key really isn't lying to other people so much as it is successfully lying to yourself long enough that you not only believe it in that moment and adamantly defend what you believe to be true, but it's also utterly impossible to tell it's false based on any physical symptom because the symptoms are all in defense of it being the truth.
+DarkCyberElf (Mylon Requiem) yes, and those lies can become 'viral' and can self-perpetuate among huge groups of people for thousands of years, like with any organized religion that I can think of
eupf horia That's cute that you turned it into a religion-bash.
Please, tell me more about how the organized institution of a religion has done more harm than good throughout history (clue: it hasn''t, you're just biased and brainwashed).
see? Now we are getting somewhere. Do I really strike you as brain washed? :)
I think there is a lot to what you are saying, but I would still argue that the harm of organized religion is the danger of thinking that dogma is infallible and that there can only be ONE TRUE GOD. Surely you'd agree that type of thinking does nothing but needlessly divide people.
Likewise, people who treat science as a belief system rather than just as an alternate way to understand the universe can do just as much harm. You just have to look to those who do nothing but ridicule anyone who professes a belief in god, and assume they are 'stupid' for doing so. Nothing could be further from the truth, it is a shared human desire or belief, or anything else you want to call it, to seek deeper meaning in the universe. The real 'harm' comes from the false dichotomy that so many people have created between science and spirituality
The lying mothers face as she did duping delight freaked me out
I've been looking for a comment like this so I know I'm not alone... I got literally frost for a while.
Exactly... I'm really glad I fell asleep, it took a lot of effort after that
***** just don't... :D
no joke! I was in a room alone and it gave me the shivers like sensing a bad spirit in your presence. Yikes!!!!
Same
She also mentioned that an honest person is going to co-operate but they can also manipulate you into thinking that they are being truthful when they are not.
Fantastic presentation. Ms. Meyer is brilliant and delightful.
"Marge, it takes two to lie -- one to lie and one to listen." (Homer Simpson)
But what about lying to yourself?
@@senoghaw fbi looking for you
@@senoghaw then you become bipolar
Great shout ^^
If it's true, I can't remember
Sometimes when I'm telling the truth and I know somebody suspects me of lying I do the lying tells, I don't know why. I want to convince them, so I try to act convincing which is also what I do when I'm lying.
Hmmm...
Antonio Silverado
Hmmm?
Yeah, that's one of the problems with lie detector tests, too. Ultimately what they measure is nervousness.
junbh2
Yeah, the polygraph is terribly inaccurate. But I'd think that lying tells would work most of the time? Eh, I don't know. I'm sure there's some science in it somewhere.
Chris Star I see. Interesting to hear. I don't usually have an anger response, I more often attempt to break the tension by laughing, but I suppose that's a personal difference.
I love your presentation on how to spot a liar, I've watched forensic male psychologists, and male FBI agents and they all are so dry and dead when they speak-I think they're liars. You're the best!
I really enjoy watching this while learning
What sucks for me is that when I’m confronted, even though I’m telling the truth I *look* like I’m lying because I’ll start to grin & look nervous. But that’s because confrontation makes me nervous, not because I’m lying! 🥺
Did you just explain me
Nervousness may also be a sign of truth, if you are nervous or anxious about what you are being confronted about. There is a sense of fear when someone confronts you and how it is done. Why do you think polygraphs are actually very wrong? In cases like yours, just tell them everything you know. if they refuse to listen, they are going to have a very bad time.
Matthew Scott same !! I have a cheesy grin when being confronted
I think you're lying!!! 😂😂😂
OMG thats sooo me! I giggle cuz my fam always thinks its be who misplaced something or did something wrong, but i mean well lol
How to know someone's lying: know everything before bothering to ask. Evidence is the most effective weapon, and is also the only ethical one. Or try making up a detail for them an seeing if they add it to their story. My brother lies compulsively so I have a fair bit of practice.
Toolman329 I actually doubt that theory now. It's easier to assume that American intelligence knew about the attack and let it happen either through incompetence or opportunism.
That is impractical for people you just met. Even in that situation who do you rely on for that information? That person, or someone they know who might still lie?
I know what actually happened, and it has more to do with mass confusion due to the Terrorists turning off the tail transponders, making them impossible to track. The only way they actually figured out they were terrorists was that the terrorists accidentally communicated the tower when giving demands. Than of course several chains of command were contacted, but the fighter jets had no clue where to go, and flew aimlessly while they tried to figure out how to track them.
Arthur Dent How are you supposed to know something you want to ask about? And if you do know, what's the point in conversing with someone who *might* lie?
vleesevlons To investigate their honesty over a series of conversations.
What a charming speaker. Can’t believe I waited so long to see this
I learned from this the only way a person can be truthful is in their own homes but wants we walk out of our front door we change instantly.
Always remember that keeping confidential information to yourself is NOT lying.
You have the right to refuse outright to answer any impertinent questions.
When someone says I like dogs does the person mean as a meal or as a pet?
That is a lie of omission and it's still a lie
@@Wildeheart79 - A lie of omission is when you omit the truth or a pertinent fact in order to deceive someone. A lie is all about deceit. You can utter a falsehood, but if you believe it to be true, then it's not a lie. You can omit the truth, or part of it, but if you didn't realize it was relevant, then it's not a lie.
As See Min Lim says, it's hard to know exactly what situation DavidFMayer PhD is talking about. Keeping confidential information to yourself is clearly not a lie, and I'm not sure why anyone would think that it is, unless you give false information in order to keep the real information secret, or deny having the information - though such lies may be justified depending on the circumstances.
And you certainly have the right to refuse impertinent questions - though what that has to do with lying I fail to see.
@@istvanglock7445 Well I suppose really it's a question of why you would want to withhold the information in the first place. If it really is a situation of "it's none of your business" then of course that's fine. But if the reason for wanting to keep the information confidential is to protect your standing and respect with the other party then the reason you're not telling them is probably purely motivated by your guilty conscience and desire to present a person other than that which you truly are. Hence a lie of omission.
@@Wildeheart79 How about asserting your 5th amendment rights ? Is one lying when they do so ?
Me : "-and thats when i found the dead body, officer."
Interrogator : "Alright now tell it to me again, backwards."
Me : "reciffo, ydob daed eht dnuof i nehw staht dna-"
Interrogator : "Just, stop."
I'm not gonna lie, this is funny
this got me laughing hard
lol
That’s German.
@@SakuraNami2618 As a German speaker I have to say that maybe that could be accurate
The truth is too much to bare , too much a burden for some, they cannot bear the weight its a burning sensation but it is freedom.
I’ve lived my life very honestly but I still lie obviously. But it’s caused me a lot of problems. The problem with being honest is nobody really wants you to be honest.
People would rather feel good than hear the truth.
True. People always say they want the cold, hard truth, but that is itself ironically a lie
Being honest is not exactly calling a fat person fat, it's more about calling yourself fat when when you are.
The biggest part of honesty is being honest to ourselves, which is a lot more difficult than being honest to others.
I've been growing up with a strict father: do this, don't do this... yes, sure. I had to learn how to lie like a pro to stay... unharmed. I've learnt how to control my face expression most of the time.
I can do what I want now, but it's still with me.
Even when I tell the truth I analyze myself: how do I look like at the moment? And the reason is that I am MORE convincing to people when I LIE than when I tell the truth. Ha-ha.
That is actually true. Growing up in a conservative family with strict parents gave me the ability to lie in a way that even if get caught there is still some truth so I always have the chance to say another thing completely and get out of trouble, I also developed great skill in getting what I want in away that convince the person it's him how want to give not me taking it. It's not the best life but it sure did prepare me for the real world.
+Underline truth I think that there's a huge difference between learning how to lie for your parents and learning how to lie for strangers. But sure, think you are who you want to think who you are.
+Ksenia Verlaine Haha Sotry of my life !! #ArabGirlProblems
+Ksenia Verlaine My Ex-wife is the same for similar reasons, she was forced to learn how to manipulate people to defend herself from her father. Her problem is that she figured that out by time she was 17 but would still never just come out and say it. We were married for 20yrs, she was seeing a shrink about her recently deceased dad, the shrink put her on Zoloft. The pills eroded her moral compass over a period of about 3yrs and eventually our marriage. After five years she threw the pills away and her behaviour improved dramatically, but during that time she had also gained a drinking habit - just like dear old dad. :(
I grew up in the 60's in a country town, had conservative parents, dad sometimes used a cane to punish us but when you take into context the prevailing parental wisdom he was everything a violent unpredictable parent is not. I can't imagine what it is like to be in your head but it sounds like you have your anxiety under control, good for you. :)
Tapecutter59 Wow thanks for sharing this!
I'm doing my best to not let my emotions control my life :)
"It is a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies, the only variable is about what". House MD
+MisterPablo that's it!
everybody lies, who's not interested about spirituality. people who are really into spirituality, never lie. and I'm not talking about going to church. it's not the same thing.
TELLING A FACTUAL LIE OR BEHAVING DISHONESTLY IN THE MOMENT DOESN'T MEAN YOU AREN'T 'LIVING THE TRUTH'...SOMETIMES IT'S MORE TRUTHFUL TO LIE THAN ''TELL THE TRUTH'...THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS 'TELLING THE TRUTH'...THOSE TEACHING HOW TO CATCH A LIAR AREN'T TELLING THE TRUTH...PERHAPS
You know house is a tv show character right?
This is off-topic.
Lying to impress or harm anyone is dangerous! It's a sign of weakness !👍
no one gonna appreciate how elegant her talk was? informative too;)
I've pretended to be a bad liar for years so people know when I want them to know I'm lying. When I'm really lying, nobody knows. It's the same way I've faked having worse eye sight, hearing, and I pretend not to understand a lot of things so people have a certain expectation of me that I've woven in to this character that I play. I'm actually a lot better at everything than you would think.
I've always found this a good technique.
+Captain Capellini I thought I was the only one!! Welcome to the "Lyer's Club"
.
+Captain Capellini it's ironic because this in itself is a lie. so the way you've become a better liar is lying that you're a liar
Believe what you will, doesn't make a difference to me.
+Captain Capellini But to what end? You don't exactly get bonus points or promotions for not being good at your job...
But..but... how do we know that this Woman is not lying to us?
Savage
You are right. I don't believe you
I came down to the comments, to leave this exact comment :P
Me too. I watched the entire video with thinking is she lying in the back of my mind.
When I said that I was lyin', I might have been lyin'- Elvis Costello
I’ve always tried to avoid lying as I’ve never been any good at it and the emotional effort to sustain it just is too much, I’m no goody two shoes but I treat people as I want to be treated.
There are tons of these programs on being able to watch facial and body motions to detect lying. You'll tell from micro-expressions, or what ever. All u can say is good luck. Ultimately, it's best to use these seminars as entertainment.
The way the first mother smiled was simply terrifying to me. Anyone agrees?
it would be hard for me to sleep just thinking about her smiling. Creeppppyyy
I freaked out a bit :[
Oh, yes. Read "Small Sacrifices" by Ann Rule. It's a classic of the true-crime genre.
i don't agree, i don't know the whole story about her and her child but what i think about this video is that every person has their own way of expressing their feelings, just because she wasn't crying doesn't mean she was lying at all.
You're right, it doesn't -- unless you're familiar with the Diane Downs case, as I am.
One of the most common lies
"I was never in electrical"
LOL
imposter is amoung us
Oh fuvk all these among us comments. That game is not even good.
Amogus
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎
Thank you for being honest. In this current day!!!
The ground around you starts to shift because so many liars are running to get away from you. Lol
I had a small amount of training in interpersonal communications classes. I loved it, the people around me not so much. I've noticed over the years that as soon as people figure out how good I am at reading people's body language and seeing when it doesn't match their lies, they are out the door and stay far away from me. It's almost comical now.
Even before college as a teenager I was always better at spotting a liar. My friends always introduced me to their new love interests for me to check out. Now I'm in no way perfect at it but being an empath and introvert give me a slight advantage because the combination tends to make you watch people and social interactions more closely. I later had psychology and communications training which enhanced my ability and that's when I really started noticing how many people steered clear of me. Sadly people don't like being asked more questions, especially when they are hiding something that they could really use help with. Being an empath it's hard for me not to ask when I can see people are pain.
It definitely made the corporate world a little harder to navigate. The tough as nails business person/boss doesn't like to be asked why they are hurting. You're not supposed to see the pain beneath their tough exterior. Being an empath with psychology training I have a tendency to lean towards getting it out is always better so it took a little while to learn who I could show sympathy for and who I could trust to know I'm sympathetic and pretty good at spotting a liar. It can be a advantage or disadvantage when people know. Some people want you on their side and some will fire you to keep their secrets, whatever they may be.
We are a society of liars. No one actually believes in the truth and only the truth but it sounds good. Even those that value the truth, prefer to have it told with some white lies to soften the blow or enhance the moment/feeling. Comics that make a living joking about their own lives know that well. Some will even throw in horrifying lies just to tell you it was a lie and soften the subject of the true joke.
I will say I think to properly understand the science of telling lies, you must truly understand Id and ego psychology. The id and ego is easy to learn it's just not commonly taught outside of psychology. Which is a shame because I really think it would help kids adjust to school life, especially in high school.
Just to clarify again, I have training in interpersonal communications and psychology not a degree. While my degree is in mass communications, I choose PR for my concentration. I took some psychology on the side just because I find it interesting. I don't like anyone to think I'm claiming I'm completely trained in either subject, it causes too much confusion. But I have to admit, PR can teach you a lot about lying too. Lol
If you cross your fingers behind your back it doesn't count as a lie.
😂😂😂
Facts
That's true! x
WTF you can't just reveal our secrets.
You can also shoot bullets if you make the same fingers into a gun. Careful tho it’s dangerous
“The best lies are best when mixed with the truth”
-Caelina sardothien.
😍😍😍
Yeah, I've seen that. People sprinkle in things known to be true, to try and convince you that their
whole story is true. They think you're stupid.
No that's dressing up the lie. Adding drama to get the reaction as if your trying to convince someone. General rule of thumb I go by is if your explaining longer than 15 to 20 seconds chances are your lying, the truth doesn't need explaining.
@Robert Slackware Except nobody believes Trump's lies anymore. And they happen daily.
Ever see that episode of Psych with the pathological liar who was telling the truth?
Great presentation, I have no dog in the fight but you held my attention until the end. Thank you, Phil
I’m liking her as well
I work in a school. Sometimes we get kids that lie. Ha ha. Often. Often, we know who is guilty of what - cameras - and we start by asking who did what. It is really intersting to watch people lie when you absolutely know they are lying. It gives you great insight for future use.
so you are lying by asking them who did what when you already know but your lying saying you dont know
Who lied to this lady that she had to write a book about it.... 😭💀
😂😂😂
I can't stand a lot of these body language people who call themselves experts... who knows how many innocent people they have made look guilty .
I'll bet you they get paid a lot more for their jobs than the average person and I'll bet you're their jobs are pretty easy if you think about it ... it's a lot of junk fake science
lmao xD
mid-life crisis at 19 I agree with what you’re saying. Although psychology is scientific.
Whoever invented her school.
@ 15:51 That smile of duping delight just freaked me out. That's a psychopath right there. Forget the liar bit. OMG.
Try the footage of Robbie Parker talking about his very recently deceased daughter after Sandy Hook and good luck with finding the truth. czcams.com/video/m6b6qPxAvY4/video.html
MIFNP
I remember when she killed her daughter (one lived, the boy is in a wheelchair for life). She was convicted and is still in prison. No possibility of parole. If I'm remembering right her daughter Christy (?) has a video on CZcams about her mother. She and her brother were adopted by the prosecutor after her mother went to jail. Ann Rule wrote a book about it called Small Sacrifices. Just looked it up on Wikipedia. She had a fourth child while in prison and that is the daughter that has talked about her natural mom. Also, she is eligible for parole in 2020. Good luck with that !!
Chris K That was freaky.. he was super happy before the take, then he acted pretty well... but no tears didn't rule in his favor.. he didn't even tear up.
Yep. Criminal bipolar psychopath. Just because you are psychopathic doesn’t make you a criminal or bad person, and is also not the same as any bipolar disorder. The word psychopath is immediately associated with crazy movie murderers, horrific home grown terrorist news stories, etc. it is not really that way. But there are people like this woman who fit the hype and stereotype perfectly. These types obviously exist.
that mother's testimony was fucking heartbreaking. Jesus.
I used to lie way too much. Even now, I seem suspicious when I’m not lying because I don’t know how people act naturally. Additionally, over time, I have noticed a scary amount of these tells, and realized the best way to lie: lie to yourself first. If you make yourself believe your lie, if you make that lie a permanent part of you or your world, you should act naturally. After all, if you don’t believe you’re lying, are you really lying?
Of course, this is very damaging to your mental health. If you end up falling into this trap, once you stop lying you will still act as if you were lying because it is instinct.
I don’t know where I’m going with this, but just keep in mind that even if lying is easy for you, it doesn’t make it healthier for you and those around you.
Wow, I wish I knew all this when I had a best friend who was a pathological liar. I didn’t think anyone would lie about mundane things, so I believed everything she said.
Sorry you had to go through that!💔
Continuous lying...even about mundane things. WARNING!
so was mine😅
That's usually the sign of a sociopath
Shes told us how to spot liars, but shes taught liars how to be better ones.
Yan Kit Lam that’s why I’m watching every video on this on YT
Yan Kit Lam lol, no it doesnt
yes it goes both ways, you dumbfuck
Si, este video es para ayudarnos, a detectar mentirosos, no para encucrirlos !!! Y justificar su mentira, jamas!!!!Suerte!!!!
@@andrealam9077 not at all lmao
oversharing, that's not honesty.
DAMN RIGHT.
2021, still waiting for a world where truth is valued
2023, still waiting ❤.
A lot of the things she saying indicate lying I actually do when I'm telling the truth because I'm nervous and/or I think the people will not believe me.
Suuuuure...
Good point. She's a crook. Not only with this -but manifold
yes, and she strikes to me as some minister who would govern you in Orwell's 1984.
Obviously. "I think the people will not believe me." is exactly how liars feel. What's she's talking about though is repeated deceitful tells along with the body language. You may be shifty because you're nervous but your body wont scream "I'M LYING".
@@JasTheKariol Haha spot on! Good eye :)!
"Hi, nice to meet you" look I've alright lied within the first sentence lmao
and you mis-spelled one word, so that really means you're a liar
@@karlshrader6997 Yuppp lol
Generic greetings don't count.
"Hello," he lied.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0302114/
@@KCN8er
Faith Arnett This is why i don’t say “nice to meet you.” I say “how are you?” I also HATE that fake hug people give when they meet for the first time.
It is crazy, how many of these these things I naturally assessed in the times I’ve been lied to, long before ever even seeing this video. 👊🏾 🧠
Always happy to learn. ❤ subbed and shared!
The thing that makes me good at lying is that I'm genuinely offended when someone thinks I'm being dishonest with them.
that's usually a sign of lying.
+Sharon Williams I'd think being upset over being unfairly accused of lying is a pretty reasonable and justifiable reaction. Especially when they're stubborn in that belief and they take your annoyance in their persistance and stubbornness as a sign you are in fact lying.
I can get pretty annoyed when people don't believe my lies. And at that point I don't even realize that i'm not speaking the truth.
To become a good liar, first you must lie to yourself and actualy believe it, then act as if that lie is true
Jqin magicka Well lets say i can make manipulate my memory as i like and that makes me a good liar also sometimes i dont know what is real and what is not ou well
Sometimes the greatest deception is the one we tell ourselves. I am more concerned about the lies I tell myself, then the lies that our told to me. IF I had been honest with myself- then maybe I would of caught others in their lies. Just food for thought.
I used her information to screen my own reactions. The more you lie to yourself, teh worse your life will be. I am trying to burn karma, not make more.
I love all the examples she used to illustrate her talk. These are some of the biggest liars in recent history.
I AM a TRUTH SEEKER!!! Always seeking TRUTH, and LOVE. No luck, so far.
Usually liars have burning pants that's way easier 🤞
LOL
Wow hilarious hahaha
Isn't that Donald Trump's signature clothing style?
their noses get longer too.
@burteriksson Are you okay up in there?
I always say that if you want to lie well, you have to believe your lies. You have to act as if you THINK you're telling the truth. It's dangerous to do that, though. You don't want to risk becoming delusional.
It takes a lot of time to make that work, well depending on what your trying to do, but deff dangerous like you said! xD
The best liars in the world are schizophrenics.
*****
why?
It's true.
Tania T.
I think pillowbugg means that schizophrenics absolutely believe their delusions are real, so they "lie" by telling what they think is the truth.
But I might be wrong.
This is my favorite TED talk :)
One of the best Ted talks I've ever seen
The lady who killed her kids half smile masking her true emotion was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen in my life. I literally have nightmares.
prqurn Omg I am not alone thank you. I literally felt my heart jump when she said those things and smirked. What a heartless human and mother
Yaaass! I ran around my house screaming with my arms flailing in the air when I saw that. She creeped the socks off of me.
prqurn wait you've never done that?
***** true, I haven't been interviewed yet
aakksshhaayy huh fd ex o
Sometimes when im telling the truth but i am not sure people will believe me i feel inclined to do a lot of the things i would to make a lie more believable. Presumably making me display many of the markers for lying.
I try to stop myself lest i make truth look like lie, but it just goes to show how careful one should be with this knowledge.
same lul
Firaro I thought she was gonna say something about this but she didn't
haha same here, im just at the beginning of the talk and was like "aha so she´s gonna say something about that...."
Firaro ya over compensating. STOP IT. You'll be fine
even i thought,she 's gonna say something about this
This is an excellent presentation, Pam.
Brilliant Analysis, Deployed Worldwide Through My Research Library...
Always tell the truth and every liar will reveal themselves.
More fun that telling lies is to tell the truth that folks don't believe.
Wow Oisin Lally. That sounds almost scriptural. Or maybe it is. I'm not making fun. Truly, when I read your comment it went through me like I had just read something profound. Do you know the feeling, when you hear or read something so important that you want to remember it and incorporate into your being.
Seriously, did you hear or read that somewhere or are you the genuine literary originator of that saying. If so, I would like to know some more of your thoughts and or writings. Please let me know if you would be willing to share and how. My sincere thanks for a memorable quote. Lisa
@@gili4612 case rested!
How can u achieve this everyday
@@rolandocuevas3959 you can't, I was generalising. Evolution cares little about truth. I just find if you treat people with honesty they are more likely to return it. You can Con an honest person but you can never fool them! "What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve" Walter Scott
“That’s the only asymmetrical expression”
*Raises one eyebrow*
And what about the smirk?
@@mattdavis3036 yeah the joke is that the facial expression she was refering to wasn't the only asymmetrical expression
That's true, but only if you smell what The Rock is cooking.
I think the joke is she's lying all through her tedtalk
*Waggles one ear*
I love this woman speaker, she uses simple words which made ma listen to her and understand her
Statistically, liars are the ones who tells you lies. Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk
I never lie, because I never leave my room so I don't have to talk to people.
For most people, they lie or do not based on what they believe, and what they were taught.
You lie to yourself.
Now that's a lie...lol
But there, of course, those who cannot believe that people could be different than themselves. These find the evil of Nazi's and celibacy of religious difficult to accept.
you dont leave your room has to be a lie unless magical people whom you dont talk to feeding you bringing clean linens stuff you need staying in your restroom you call your room that you never leave
This is fantastic, she's a study herself. I hope everyone else was noticing the level to which she was shaping that interaction, and the gestures and expression she used. She's obviously very dedicated, and makes so many things clear to me. I think her ending statement is especially poignant and the hardest for a lot of people to swallow. Our current fervor of sharing has looked a lot like a fake world to me, constantly trying to look like the most interesting people while our lives play out not too differently. I prefer a quieter world, I can explore life without having to feel like I'm obliged to socially.
I used to lie a lot, I played a different character each time I met someone new I knew I might never meet again, and sometimes I catch myself doing it still. I don't know why, I love making voices and writing characters, maybe I just wish I could experience how it is to be a different person? But it is deceptive and I would like to stop doing it altogether. It's just amazing to me how automatic it is.
Neverward - maybe you should be an actor?
KamaroPayne Haha how'd you get that out of what I said?
+Neverward you sound like you'd be a good biography, documentary, or short story writer
Ken Bower
That's really nice of you, thank you :)
pathological liar?
Fantastic speaker.
Flawless delivery!
Very good presentation! And that’s the truth! ✌️❤️😷🙏
The best liars in fact lie hardly ever. They pick that crucial moment to lie when no one expects it.
I gave up lying and now my life is hard...
Your profile picture says it all....
+Windwalker 95 oh no, that's my happy face. from way back, when I used to lie. life was so much easier back then...
Ahh. I see
I see some duping delight in this picture
Pure delight, no duping necessary!
Thank you for sharing and God bless you
"...an honest person is going to be cooperative. they're going to show they're on your side. They're going to be enthusiastic. They're going to be willing and helpful to getting you to the truth."
Ah-ha! Now I know why politicians never give direct answers to questions. Especially when they know that they might be incriminating themselves!
I’m such an anxious person, so with the right amount of questions I’m sure I’ll be guilty of anything.
I'm sure I'll be guilty too. OR be proved so by those people who really excell at it.
As someone who suffers from anxiety, this kind of bullshit has resulted in me being incorrectly accused of dishonesty over and over again through childhood and adulthood.
Same, was just thinking about that
I have bad anxiety as well so I can seem to be lying when I'm really not...
2LegHumanist if someone takes anxiety as a red flag then they’re toxic and bad informed. Or they watched too much of cop tv show. Don’t let those people get to you because they aren’t worth it
@@avahunziker5923
I agree. Though sometimes the person in question has the power to harm your career.
I am a software engineer and interview styles in my field have become adversarial in order to weed out the pretenders. There are also cases where the people in question are in my direct reporting line.
This is hokum. Far too simplistic. Not science.
Asked myself halfway through this what I was doing here, I’ve watched like 7 videos about lie detection because of my boyfriend. Had a moment of clarity now and realized nothing is this important, if he gonna lie he gotta go. Just putting my thought in the universe, a memento that I was here and realized something big in my life at this moment.
I don't like lies. Especially if my close friends tell ones to me, I get very disappointed and full of angry. But after watching this speech, I think, I should put more efforts with to try to find the reason they told a lie than spotting lies.