How to get someone with dementia to go to the doctor
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- čas přidán 17. 03. 2018
- Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)
In this week’s video, I’m going over ways to help increase the willingness of your loved one to go to a doctor’s appointment. Many times, people with dementia do not want to go to the doctor. When you try to convince them, they can become upset and angry. I hope that one of these ideas will work for your situation.
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare
I have this problem ALL THE TIME getting Mom to day care
I combine several tricks to get it done
First, I often do not tell mom what is up and instead use other excuses to get her in the car
I use a piecemeal incremental approach
Let’s go out for a walk gets her out of the house
Then I say I have errands to run... will she come with me?
Then in the parking lot I remember my doctor wanted me to sign some papers
Then in the office, the doctor needs to see me, could you come with me so you do not have to wait alone
Once you get into the exam room, the doctor has a few questions for the loved one
The loved one may be difficult with me, but is less difficult with the dr once she is already in the exam room
For me, the hardest thing was getting accustomed to deceiving my mom
But often the “idea” of doing something is more problematic than the reality
, the good part about dementia is that you can pull the same trick over and over again and Mom never remembers...lol
This is something we are trying to teach our dad to do with my mom. We'll have to get him to read your comment!
brillant idea...i will try that
sorry doesn't work for me she either will not get out of car; or if in office for other things she refused to talk to doctor; or agrees to everything then refuses to take her meds or refuses to go to specialists she previously agreed to go to; refused to see the insurance company's visiting nurse.
Love x a million, your strategies for getting a LO to the Doctor. Thanks so much! I know we can be uncomfortable with scheming or 'therapeutic lying', but sometimes the thinking about the doctor's visits is a more intimidating for them, than the actual doctor's office itself. Brilliant!
This is such a great video - needed this information
I have noticed my dads personality and memory has change a lot for a person at the age of 63. I been trying to get him tested to see if it's his medication or because he has had a few ghost strokes. It's has now been 4 years and he seems to be getting worse. I have asked at least 5 doctors to test him. I finally found a doctor who said he is showing signs. My issue now is that my dad refuses no matter what to go see the neurologist to do further testing. The struggle is real. Any other suggestions that you may have to help will be much appreciated 👍 🙂
Thanks, Dr. Natalie!
Great ideas!! Thank u 4 the help & support!
Jonda Peterson you are welcome!
Thank you Dr Natali! This is what I need.
You're most welcome!
You sound great with all these ideas. Once the dementia (supposedly not really diagnosed) basically wrote my father off. The atmosphere is once you become old, they write you off. People say go to another place. But when changing the doctor, takes months for a new appointment, have the records sent, travel, and you are rushed through your appointment. I see the system is broke and still set up for acute care and old people are thrown in to the trash. Small amounts money is being allocated to geriatrics. If some funding is allocated, its absorbed by companies and physicians who don't provide adequate treatment and care. Money needs to be shifted soon as possible. Many elderly people are sliding in to advance age and have dementia or many other sicknesses. The Washington politicians are only serving big pharma and medical device manufacturing. The throwing of large amounts of money will not correct the problem. The system needs to be updated to serve the elderly. I am concerned around hearing that we have over population and the sick and elderly need to be sent off to the rainbow bridge to reduce cost and resources. We will all die, but it's how we arrive at that time. Training for geriatrics field needs to start now and have more advocates in Washington to speak for the elderly.
I just tell my mom that we are going where the car takes us... and we may get to see our good friends.
I am taking care of my mom. She has got to the point of not wanting to eat. She will say already ate. To have her drink water and problem. She is also asking to go home to her kids that are small. She doesn't like to leave the house or even a walk. I know what you are talking about but they said u can help me and guide me through this disease. Thank you Bernadette
My love one will go, but she won't let me tell the doctor anything. She tells them she is fine and there is nothing wrong
Great tips, enjoyed the bloopers :) Cheers!
steve45ca cheers!
I tell her that I have the doctors appointment and because she is my mother, she needs to come. The doctor will look in my mouth, and then will say hmmm.... let me compare to you ... and begins his exam.
Where I live in Canada, we have Regional Geriatric Programs at the general hospitals of cities that are a population of 100K+. They feature a social worker, OT, and Geriatrician. A Geriatrician is basically akin to a Pediatrician, but for the elderly.
My loved one is now on blood thinners for life which requires going to a clinic to get her INR/Protime reading with a finger prick test so they can instantly know if she remains in range needed. We are now up to every 5 weeks for this as opposed to every 3 days in the beginning. I transport her & her newest struggle is stepping up on a 4” riser then in to the van. I even purchased a transport wheel chair so I would always have a chair to get her back & forth. She complains & repeats the same comments each time. So I agree w/ her but than verbalize “I suppose it’s better than having to go more frequently like every week - boy, we must be doing good that they let us have fewer appointments!” This makes her feel in control & doing a good job plus she feels she & I are a team & I can commiserate with it being a shame that her blood is “ sticky” ( layman’s term for clotting blood propensity). The appointment takes 10 minutes but the prep, cajoling, transporting take over an hour to 90 minutes.
I'm sorry to hear of your situation, but it sounds like you are doing a WONDERFUL job at managing the difficulty of getting her to frequent appointments. Keep up the good work!
I waited until we checked in at front desk and mom went off to bathroom. That is where I told them quickly why she kept canceling and told them what has been Going on to please let the nurse know and relay to doctor. It worked out fine. Mom hasn't been in so long, they thought she died. Also, after so many last minute cancels, they told her she couldn't miss this last appt. OR THEY WOULD HAVE TO SEND HER CARE OUTSIDE OF THE MILITARY HOSPITAL. That worked well too. She lives going to BAMC.
Karin perfect way to handle the situation! 👏
Hi Dr Natali. Thank you for all the supportive advice you provide. I've been searching your videos to see if you've made one about the actual doctor visit. How much to leave to Mom, how to help answer questions? My biggest concern is when Mom provides inaccurate information. She's in the early moderate stage of her dementia, with some lucid times, lots of confusion. I'm interested in your thoughts.
Hi Toni, This can be hard, but one thing I have seen work very well is writing down important things for the provider before the appointment. This way you can simply hand it to the nurse or doctor when you arrive and then they have accurate information and you avoid potential confrontation with your mom. Sometimes sending a message to the provider or calling ahead of time to alert them to some of your concerns may also be helpful. Wishing you the best of luck with this!
You have taught me so much. My sister has FTD and was diagnosed in 2010. Her symptoms have been few until recently. She still drives although just within 2 miles of her home - she is not a risk in driving yet. My sister lives with my 85 yo Mom and I assist with them both. This past Friday, my Sister and Mom had a tiff and my Sister packed an overnight bag and took off in her car. None of her friends have seen her and the Police are searching frantically. I have contacted many organizations who are passing along details. I have driven anywhere I thought I would find her. Do you have any suggestions? I am sick with worry. Thank you.
Regina Pollard oh my goodness! I am so sorry Regina! Hoping for a safe recovery for your sister!!!
I have one question: how about a video on how to get your loved one to go to a hospital?
I think my mom had a TIA. Since then, she's been showing signs of dementia. But the night it happened, I wanted to call an ambulance, but she got angry & said I'd better not, because she wasn't going to the hospital. She seemed to recover within a minute or so, so I didn't push it. And she said, "Do NOT say anything to my doctor about that. It was nothing. I'm fine." I don't know what to do. I live 700 miles away, so I'll have to live with her soon, because she's burned her food a couple of times that I know of in the past few weeks. There's no telling what else is going on that she doesn't tell me. I have to get a hip replacement first, so I can be sure to be able to take care of her. Appointment for consult next week.
Hi Fellow Caregivers! I could really use some directional advice. My dad is fine with going for all of his 6 month or annual check ups (PCP, Cardiologist, Dentist, Etc), but I haven't any idea how to approach him about going to the doctor re: dementia. It's early, but the signs are so obvious to me because I know him so well. Any suggestions and/or advice would be greatly appreciated! Blessings!
I'm right there with you. I know Mom won't go to the doctor about it. I just hope I can talk to her doctor about it. God bless!
Nope! Tried everything. Violence and delusions are worsening. It was for an initial @ an Aging and Memory clinic. Has a brain disease and is having severe headaches. I'm at a loss.
My mom has dementia and delirium. We had a Tesla conference call with the doctor and now have a letter that says she should not live alone as she now does. We tried to get someone to stay with her but she didn’t like the women we choose because she doesn’t want us to run her life but she won’t try to find anyone herself. She won’t go into a nursing home so we have to go to court and get guardianship of her to get her there. We are worried about getting her to court and having her stay there. Any suggestions. PS that was a teleconference call. Sally
What do you do when your loved one can’t communicate or understand any longer
My hubby has light headedness and pressure under his eyes and is blaming it on his medication. Sometimes he will take a half a pill then skips meds. Doctors aren’t addressing his lightheadedness. He thinks it is his blood pressure med. now he thinks it may be Alzheimer’s med.
My Brother has Dementia. (undiagnosed) But friends and family are all concerned. He lives in Rancho Cucamonga CA. I have tried everything to get him to go. He told me he would go end of last year. Then moved it to Spring of this year. Now he says Fall. I am at my wits end. I live in Fresno Ca. Is there a group that can go to his house?
HI Catherine, This is Trisha. Dr. Natali's social media manager. I'm sorry to hear about your situation;. Here is a CZcams video she made that I hope can help you with your situation. 💖 czcams.com/video/MlOt-vDtD9M/video.html
Mom will not let anyone touch her or even take her blood pressure. Two docs told me they will not treat her since she declines their help. Thankfully the geriatric psychiatrist still works. Without her antipsychotic meds I would not be able to handle her.
Holly von Dross it really makes a difference to have a geriatric specialist. They understand and are willing to do what is necessary to help. Glad you have a geriatric psychiatrist helping!