Dementia and Anxiety: What you can do
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)
Today’s video I’ve recently received several questions from Careblazers about how to help reduce anxiety in their loved ones with dementia. Today’s video reviews some of the most common reasons people with dementia get anxious and what you can do to help reduce that anxiety. Please leave a comment below if you’ve found helpful ways to calm an anxious loved one.
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare
When my husband gets anxious, I try to divert his attention by asking him about something that happened a very long time ago. If he starts talking about long, long ago things, he usually gets over the anxiety.
Very helpful. My elderly parent is a psych patient also diagnosed w dementia. Sometimes its just alot of work to be dedicated to figuring them out and their anxieties etc. Its exhausting and draining.
Our own anxiety can either provoke or exacerbate a loved ones anxiety. I find it useful to intentionally let go of my own anxiety.
Even something so important as taking medication is usually not so critical an issue as to require forcing immediate compliance with our agenda.
I have started regarding such challenges as a game where where the opponent I am trying to out Fox is the disease
I always love your perspective Ardy! You are absolutely right about your own anxiety provoking or exacerbating our loved ones! I love your ideas of re-framing challenges as a game.
My moms behavior is so erratic that I’m sick to my stomach and anxious and abrupt with her. She never stops talking and retelling old AWFUL stories, cries easily. I’m not in charge of her my estranged sibling is but I go and get her to try and cheer her up. She also calms me a lot. She has no boundaries.
Oh no.....I hope you and your mom got some help.
Dr Natalie, thank you so much for sharing all your valuable knowledge! you have been such a great help to me. My husband has mid stage Alzheimer.
I feel very blessed to have come across your sessions!
Thank you for this site...This is the only place where I can get some much needed answers...If I could hug you I would...
We all need to take a brake from caring for someone, taking care of also the caregivers. You give us comfort knowing we are not alone. For all the people that can be strong to care for someone that is family You Are Amazing and Wonderful!
I felt like I was getting dementia back in 2012, I was forgetting my customers....seemed like my mind was always in a jumble, and anxiety was part of that. I started listening to so many youtube videos on the subject.
So my conclusion, and my help was FAT....Good fat like Coconut oil and avacados, and butter....then cut the carbs very low. I started to see improvement very quickly. and lost 50 pounds.
Now I am healthy, mind wise especially, continuing my work. Maybe I did not have it in the first place.
Now my sister on the other hand, and my mother had it, but working thru my sis'........
Thank you for ALL OF your precious info!!!!
also, Cbd for the anxiousness has helped tremendously also
Great information I’m going to play this video again and again. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for your expertise. Your videos have helped me with patients and coping.
These are helpful tips, Dr. Natali!
Very helpful video. Thank you so much.
Everything you pointed out are true. Very informative. Thank you so much for sharing...
Am SO Grateful
Love your video. You are the best on CZcams. I keep sharing them
I agree!! Natali and all the care blazers have been an incredible support and help.
Fantastic video!
This is a fantastic site. Thank you so much for taking time to post this! I am wondering about the phase when my loved one no longer recognizes home. Everyday, every time we return from somewhere, every time she awakens... how long will this last? She wakes up during the night and packs her room to go "home." Takes pictures off the wall. Asks so frequently about loved ones who died decades ago. It causes the most anxiety for her...not recognizing where she is....
I'm so sorry! That's tough! Have you joined the closed FB community? It's filled with supportive careblazers in similar situations. They may be able to offer you some support and input. facebook.com/groups/dementiacareblazers/
Thank you soooo much.
Lexapro has done wonders for my mother in law’s anxiety. She would have these moments of panic that she was dying and that everyone in the family needed to be called. Very scary because what if she was having an emergent situation. She is so much more relaxed now and Happy!
100% recommend Lazarus Oil CBD full spectrum oil. I have been using .25 ml (about 12 mg/serving) every 3-4 hrs. Anxiety is substantially reduced.
Excellent video 🍃
Thank you mam .Helpful site.
Awesome site!
Thank you.
Informative. I'm learning to mimic verbal cues they use.
And literally training my last dog 🐕 who is sensitive to my facial expressions and any anger directed at her made her physically cower. I decided I didn't like seeing her cower. And that doing it for a long time accomplished nothing. She wasn't changing.
Then I changed my mind and decided being angry has negative physical impact on my body (loss of energy too) and no results with doggy anyways.
When I recognize I'm angry I stop and say "oh" out loud to include doggy and look at her and say "I think I need to (whatever self care) and Imma forget about this and move on. No one got hurt. Good." And we're both less anxious n moved on.
Thanks so much!🙏😘
You're welcome!
Thank you.
What a relief, Natali, to hear your pace to have slowed down. The speedy speech patterns make me anxious. Thanks for settling in on the presentation.
My dad has FTD and he is on 2 mg of risperidone (1 mg in the morning and 1 mg at night, we usually give it to him at 7:30 am and 7:30 pm) and also on 100 mg of Trazodone which we give at night as well. But lately he's been getting anxiety at night, I believe it is a case of sundowning as it really started when the clock went back an hour a few weeks back. He has trouble falling asleep (the trazodone doesn't seem to help with that) and when he can't fall asleep right away it gives him anxiety. So what I do is around 9:00 pm I massage his feet and then given him a massage on his back and that seems to calm him down a bit..I also give him some magnesium (family doctor says it is fine) right after I massage him and that does seem to do the trick. if he continues with the anxiety and calls out, I then tell him that it's time for all of us to sleep and if he can be quiet it will be a help to all of us and he usually remains quiet the rest of the night.
These things should be taught to caregivers in nursing homes.
My wife is most anxious during her sun downing time. She is not violent she insists on walking outside the house during times of darkness. The removal of shoes helps. Misdirection helps. Thank you.
What do you do to help ease anxiety in your loved one?
Thank you for all the helpful tips. 👍🏻😜
You are welcome!
My mother she know all the gospel songs and she's singing it and she loves singing her gospel songs but then she don't know the name of her food when I give her her food she gets upset when she got to get up from her walker she be reaching for her baby doll and I say mama you got to get up for your baby daughter get in your seat so she gets up I hope her up and then she get mad and release my hands off the Walker and almost fall down so I can't deal with this she don't for sometimes she ignored me when I be talking to her I love mom's man but this is no joke not taking medication for what see this what I got to go through why I got to take my medication my doctor said you got taking medication I ain't taking that medication in due time she and do timesheet take the medication this job is no joke but that's my mom's and I love her very much big time but did y'all been no joke
THANKYOU xox
Gracias :)
Help! My mother is so anxious that she's losing her mind, she's anxious to be alone, wants to be continually attended to. Wants 24/7 entertainment and company . But the nursing home rehab has very limited visiting hours!
My father is constantly ringing me upset, saying that he has 'no money at all'. He is now in residential care and his cash is kept in the safe in the office. When he is going out and needs some cash, the staff give him his wallet with $5 which is all he needs. All other expenses are taken care of by myself. The problem is that he wants to have money with him all of the time and feels insecure without it. He has previously hidden money and forgets where it is and thinks someone has taken it. I have explained numerous times that he has plenty of money that is kept in a safe for when he needs it. I have also written a note to this effect on his memory board in his room and shown him with the nurse, the amount of cash he has in the safe. Also I've told him he has more than enough funds in the bank for his needs and I am managing his finances for him as he requested nearly 18 mths ago. But he is still anxious and obsessed about money. I reassure him constantly. What else can I do to help him?
Some caregivers I know, give their loved one a small amount of money for their loved one to hold on to just to make them feel better and being okay knowing that the money will likely go misplaced or missing. Some caregivers are able to give their loved one fake or expired credit cards and lets them know that their money is now on the card and this helps ease their anxiety. If your loved one's cognition is really impaired, you may be able to find some real looking fake money and give that to your father. Here is a video I did on the topic. czcams.com/video/x7bxCCK-gLk/video.html
Thanks Natali. I have tried leaving a small amount of cash with him but he wants more and then loses it when I've given it to him previously. He can recognise real money from fake money so I think just giving a small amount of cash and not worrying when it goes missing is probably best. Also I have a jar of coins he can count, so I'll try that too.
What are your thoughts on medication for this anxiety will it help
I would love to see a video on how to get a loved one to see a doctor if you suspect they may have dementia or memory problems. In our case we got them to go to a check up but now they refuse to go to a follow-up appointment their doctor requested. They get very upset and defensive about the subject of the doctor now, even though we have not brought up our suspiscions to them.
paintitblackcat9 thank you for your comment. I will put this important topic into my lineup of future videos.
paintblackcat9: you might consider having the doctor or nurse come to your parents residence & they could evaluate her/him there. Just let them think that it is a friend of yours coming for a visit. I hope this helps. :-)
@@SweetThing
I’ve thought of this very same idea, and suggested it to someone in the comments of one of these videos, just tonight!
I don’t know if anyone would actually be willing to do an in-home evaluation, but it sure seems like a smart idea.
I wish I had thought of this when my wife was getting worse, and I was sure something was wrong with her.
Instead, she moved money to where I didn’t know, filed for divorce, and got a no-contact order.
This has been a nightmare, and now she’s in a nursing home.
It’s still a nightmare.
I’m financially ruined and emotionally drained.
@@patrickflohe7427 - I'm so so sorry for your many losses. Not only have you lost your loved one emotionally, mentally & physically, but in essence, you have lost control of everything you two shared together. Sounds like you may need legal council as well! We have had a nurse come to evaluate my mother and eventually she was admitted to an assisted living facility, but they seemed to have forgotten they were supposed to "assist" her! My mother was neglected there, had pneumonia, a stroke and then a heart attack (this was before Covid) and we moved her out and now she lives with us and is thriving. I hope you can get the help you need to move forward.
@@SweetThing
How much care is she requiring?
It’s sad when they move into a home & are neglected!
I worry about my wife, though it seems like a very nice place.
She’s lonely there.
Thanks so much.
I’m definitely working on the legal aspect, but I honestly believe that she no longer remembers what she did with it all.
Such a sad situation.
Frustration is not the same thing as Anxiety. During anxiety the situation is unclear while doing what is called worrying. Being treated like a Dementia is once kind of situation which our loved one might find frustrating. Which is why it is a good idea to monitor their body language well. Not all seniors are alike on what could make them feel anxious. For sure most of us cannot tell in an instant what is happening in our environment. For example a half hour ago inside my home I heard what sounded like a ladder being set against the side of my neighbors house. I looked outside and sure enough there was 3 ladders being set up while 2 men wearing black hoodies were about to continue walking on my neighbors roof of both their house and their home probable to unblock the gutters around the neighbors roof. However what if the young person couldn't hear that going on outside because they like going to rock concerts and using devices to keep them entertained when listening to music while riding the bus too while their loved one is suffering from Aphasia instead of Dementia? Instead of last winter when my neighbor instead knocked on my door to tell me police were already there only because my neighbors became so alarmed and anxious when they had seen only a couple of boys with a shopping cart on their bottle drive. The ladder sound alerted me after more than one member of my familiy including me have experienced what it is like to fall off of a ladder. In my case it wasn't far enough to cause an injury. However others I have worked with before have experienced severe injury while I was not there too to help supervise.
Also, what almost no one knows is that just having chronic illness/illnesses can make one’s mind and body react with anxiety. There does not need to be an emotional or relational reason.
We had severe anxiety early on, but with meds. It quickly slowed up. But now I am hearing that there is someone male who lives here with us and is always really angry and loud. This is new this past month. I could really use some understanding.
Information should be given to nursing home help .
Yesterday my mom was opening a new puzzle and working on the edges. I can usually leave her be when she is working a puzzle. I came back a little later and she was very anxious. She insisted it was missing pieces. I asked her if it was a new puzzle, she said no. The wrapper and all was right there. I took the wrapper away. I opened th box and showed her all the pieces. she said no there were missing pieces. I told her i would send it back. She packed it up and put it in her closet and was calmed down. This morning she showed me her new (same) puzzle. She is sitting working onit now. I have no idea what triggers it, we just ride through it.
Hello does the colour grey helps with anxiety please.
Thank you for your talks on Dementia. My husband has Dementia with aggressiveness. Why the aggressiveness .
I can’t speak to your situation, but my Mom gets fearful and agitated when she perceives that ‘stuff is moving’ around her house. In actual fact, she has developed an odd habit of picking up and moving things for no discernable reason, but later has no memory of doing it, nor does she remember where she put the missing items. I imagine that to her it’s like something just vanished. She either says someone must be in the house (though all doors/windows are locked) or accuses me of taking/moving things. I usually just say ‘don’t worry…I’m sure it’s here somewhere…I’ll help you look.’ I used to be offended by accusations, but now I can mostly shake them off, knowing that she must be terrified by the world as she perceives it when these things happen.
I can’t imagine.....
My wife was just paranoid, forgetful & accusatory, but never aggressive.
Not sure what she’s like now.
😍😍😍🙏🙏🕊🕊🙌🙌👍Thank You!!!
In the mornings I open the blinds turn on lights and open doors to let in more light but she just comes into the room and wants all of the lights off. They aren’t bright either. I feel like I’m in a cave. Not getting out and socializing and her sleeping most of the day makes for a boring, depressing life when it’s my turn to stay with her.
Sing with them!
I think my 89 yo. Mom is threatened by me. Although I am always gentle with her, she's always asking if I'm mad at her. Even when I tell her I'm not. I haven't lived with her since I was 18. Maybe she doesn't know me very well? I'm 64 now and she still thinks of me as a child. It doesn't help that she's got Borderline Personality Disorder so I don't know if she's doing it on purpose. Her apt. is 1 bdrm. and I hear everything she says. She mutters to herself for HOURS about how awful I am. It makes me angry but I don't say anything and just get over it. What else can I do?
Thank you for caring for us carers, sometimes it seems like your the only one who does.
Paranoia is a very common system of dementia.
Do something for yourself in any case! Get outside, spent time with friends, with a hobby, watch favorite shows etc. And say to yourself that she is not muttering these things about YOU, but about her frustration at things that happened in the past or even in the present. Distance yourself like you would distance yourself from an angry toddler. Don't let her words get to you.
What does the feeling of their head being filled with mush and so full it wants to overflow mean?
Because the brain is going through a degradation process, it is going to cause unusual effects in our loved one. Even when my bedridden mother is lying down, she complains of a falling backward sensation quite often.
I recently brought my mom home from the nursing home thinking she would do better here. She spends most of the day rolling around on the couch, repeating herself, moaning and crying inconsolably. I sometimes get 20 - 30 minutes of lucidity during the day. How should I react to the moaning and whaling? When I offer help, it sometimes it upsets her even more. Is this a self-soothing technique that I just need to get used to? Its really hard to listen to all day - it feels like I should be doing something.
There are certain times that the nursing homes are better options.
I see this post was awhile ago, but how did this go?
Did it get any better, or did you get some help?
@Mosquito Joe of Braintree-Weymouth I’m so glad to hear that she was able to adjust, & be with family!
Can you talk about repetitive behaviors like rubbing fingers together, doing word searches, puzzles, dot-to-dots, rubbing nose, chin, etc., almost all the time. These behaviors go on from the time my mom wakes up until she goes to sleep. Causes for these behaviors and what to do for loved one. Are these anxiety-related behaviors?
These repetitive behaviors can also be caused by medication, like Compazine, (for instance lip smacking, facial tics, etc.) so go over your mom's meds with her dr. :-)
Quite often the repetitive actions can be part of the dementia stage of the brain beginning to deteriorate as well. My mother is between Level 6 and 7. End of life stages as pointed out in my hospice booklet. My mother is constantly folding everything around her. She is bedridden, so she folds her sheets, blankets, clothing, etc. Once I redirect her attention I am able to straighten things out. It is a challenge. Trying to figure out the cause behind these actions helps a great deal. Just remember to be patient and love them through these processes.
Thank you ❤
I am caring for my husband with Dementia, he makes my life so hard when no one around. As soon he sees someone around he is completely different person even our daughter he gets very quiet and he doesn’t say a word. People think is nothing wrong with him , I am so confused can you help me on that please
Selective behavior. I experience that with my mom too. Feels almost like they're playing a game with us but they're not. They are just so frustrated with the way their lives have unfolded that the realization of experiencing no way out of their situation except through it, is very frustrating to them. When someone other than their immediate care blazer comes in, it gives them a sense of hope and positivity. Since I cannot have a lot of people come and go from our home due to Covid, I try to Skype with family and friends and my mom responds well to that, hence, I get a break too from all the harsh treatment at times.
My husband says "my mind went out" he then yells saying "you don't understand!" I don't. I try to reassure him he's going to be ok but he just gets more upset,what do I say?
Doc Natali?
I'm not an expert but sometimes it suffices to say "no, I don't understand, I am sure it is hard, I am so sorry" - just telling someone that you understand his feelings, that his feelings are valid, just acknowledging that something is hard, sad, frustrating. Just saying "it is hard, it is sad, it is frustrating, yes", can help because they don't have to explain their feelings anymore.