Loving PEOPLE without ATTACHMENT
Vložit
- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
- Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
Learn to love people without attachment.
Social Media
Facebook: p...
LinkedIn: / orion-taraban-070b45168
Instagram: / psyc.hacks
Twitter: / oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanps...
Orion's Theme: • Enrico Deiana - Orion'...
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tap....
GRE Bites: / @grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
/ @psychacks
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanps...
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #love #attachment
Bro is training to be a jedi.
POV: You're Anakin Skywalker researching how to get the rank of Master
I was going to say the same thing...
He could dress up as a young Obi-Wan!
anikan needed psychiatrists and counselors, not space wizards
@@SonOfTheChinChin Mental health professionals have said he has borderline personality disorder & ptsd.
I’ve actually been doing this for years… I outright tell women: I will love you like I love cats, if you want to be loved on, petted, hugged, adored and cuddled, you will choose to be around me… But if you don’t… I will not try to do those things with you…
That is why women love cats so much. Finally someone who gets it 🤣
Ngl males love pets too. I seen their dating profiles. I remember my sister had downloaded a dating app a few weeks back and she was shocked to see so many men with cats & dogs on there 😂😂😂 I was like yeah, its not just women even though we get so much hate.
@@Joe-sg9ll I said pets.
@@Joe-sg9ll In this context I was talking about how both men and women love pets. I wasn’t talking about his analogy.
@@-glitch-8195 women get teased because they become cat ladies. this is very different from having a cat or a dog. women as they get older and are alone tend to get CATS, multiple cats, like 6+ cats.
@@khaosklub No, it’s not different. The amount of women that have like 6+ cats is very far and in between. It’s just something for you to poke fun at. However, the truth is, even males have cats & dogs because they’re lonely. For a group of people who make fun others for that, it’s ironic that you’d go get a pet rather than having a healthy relationship. Not to mention, there are more men that are lonely than women. The projection is real.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just can't, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her
wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
It's because she left. It's hard because you're also dealing with the rejection not just the ending of your relationship. Let it burn. It will go after a time.
I'm sorry. I wish I was in her shoes.. I don't know what happened between you two, but i wouldn't leave you.
This is a setup advertising the "spiritual adviser" involving both parties here...
I hate without attachment, i wake up extra early to do so
Because you want to be the first to flip the sun the bird?
Good comment. Bad reply.
@@mrsherwood2599
Be better
@@forgottenfuryan I said it first, Festus.
😂
I think at some point in our lives, we will feel immense attachment. As much as people wanna make it seem like they're indifferent & nonchalant. They're not. Some of the most emotionally invest people pretend not to care. The important thing is you process the attachment. Not that you're "unattached." Even if you tell yourself that you love without attachment, there has to be some level of attachment there for it to even be love. Whats also interesting is sometimes the avoidance of attachment all together can actually cause the relationship more damage. There's nothing more peaceful that you can ever experience than a profound conversation about how you both came to be & how you both chose each other. In essence, attachment isn't bad, but trying to control things outside of your control isn't good. So less structuring of attachment & more of accepting the organic nature of attachment.
If a person is securely attached to being alone, relationships become superfluous.
Perfectly said. Agree 100%. Has to be a level of attachment, but "love like their free." (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Great comment! Exactly, I agree!
@@2WOKE-
Suffering is a product of desire. Relationships are for the weak.
Maybe we should replace the word attachment with neediness. We should be free of neediness. I believe in Jesus and he has been the one to fulfil my emotional needs too, because it would be too much of a burden for a human being alone.
This sounds like a person with a secure attachment style. You’re able to deal with people as they are. If it doesn’t work for you, you’re able to let it go. So it’s not that you’re not attaching. You’re doing so in a healthy way but aren’t focused on trying to force someone to meet your needs or give you what you want.
Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces. Being happy alone is a better risk to reward ratio for men.
@@forgottenfuryan ok then be alone. You don’t have to announce to the world that what’s in fact going on is that you have an avoidant attachment style and do not know how to cope.
@@TheMatchMaker_16
Half of women in every generation after the boomers are childless, with only 1% being by choice. All you girls can do I threaten no sex or no coupling... it's your only card. I've had beautiful women chase me all my life and I'm wrecked up with cosmetic damage. I was telling jokes to a girl for an hour a few weeks ago, so women are easy. 60% of mothers are single and raise 80% of inmates and 85% of children with behavioral disorders. Women are one big money hustle and no amount of "muh attachment style", from a bunch of molly coddled princesses is going to change the fact that most men don't live life on easy mode like women so we can't afford to be so blissfully ignorant.
in order words, that's exactly non attachment. attachment means to attach. letting them come and go is exactly just the opposite, not attaching
@@Curdledmayonnaise That’s not what that means. You can attach and still not engage in manipulation. Granted it seems this message is for insecure attachment style, mainly anxious.
I'm learning this at 52. Wished I'd learned it at 32.
I agree again, so much. Specially hard at first when one is inexperienced, its crucial for the happiness of both parts.
Also reminds me to one thing I said to an overly possessive girlfriend I had, something like "with you I'm happy but without you i'll still be happy, a little less but still happy, I like to be with you but not like this". Didnt work, she got even worse but you get my point.
Also makes you stronger in case of an infidelity, its so much easier to handle and overcome that situation.
So simple yet so profound! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
lol he's good at that. Even though the the title didn't grab me, I clicked on it anyway. I figured there'd be a good little analogy in here... and there it was lol
Dear Orion, this is one of the best pieces of relationship advice I have ever received. I am no longer stressed about working towards relationship with a man. Life is so much calmer when I treat him like the foxy cat that he is. And he’s my pal, too.
This is the #1 rule to do great with women. By not being attached you'll care less which makes you less needy, more masculine and less of a yes-sayer, which are all attractive traits for a woman. You'll also be able to ask her to f*** off if she cheats or disrespects you. Stay in control, stay unattached.
It's not so much about remaining unattached as it is about having the ability to detach when necessary.
Preventing new expressions and opportunities from manifesting isn't a healthy way of controlling things. It will bring you quickly into the scarcity mindset. Instead, I'd suggest allowing everyone to be themselves and not letting it affect you so deeply. Remember, you are your own person, and that, in itself, provides a healthy level of detachment from others as-is.
Being securely alone is the way. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces.
....but most want women to need them. How will it turn out?
@@sarahsarita4852
Women are a net tax burden and statistically speaking, the sex dries up after a year. You're projecting hard right now.
@@sarahsarita4852 It's a different thing for women. For a woman it's OK to be attached because it's feminine energy.
On a spiritual basis, you develop a deep love that can either be given to you, or take it away from you, and you choose to share it with those who appreciate it, including your boundaries and values
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
If I was you I talked to Jesus because he can do miracles! If she really is the love of your life then team you with Jesus and let him take over your life for the better.. seek Him, get to know him.. and he will do miracles for you!
Comparing a woman to a cat is actually spot on.
cats are more rational and far less emotional
@@SPACEDOUT19the opposite really...
Meditation 🧘♀️! I love feeling free & light in relationships! I can be more present, & move on from unhelpful experiences w/out getting all stuck & emotional. 😅
I truly believe there needs to be a more detailed video on the subject.
There is one.
@@avve9001 can you be a diamond and tell me the name of the video
@@acc2mdk1How to love without emotional attachment
There is one. And it's useless.
Thanks to the teachings of BHAGWAD GEETA ❤
This is deep I needed that skill for my rotation of favourites
It's best to view most persons from a point of indifference.
This is what I've been needing. Thankyou!
Man the cat metaphor is brilliant. Yes, that’s exactly how mature relationships are. Striving to make our own needs clear while also respecting our partner’s.
And woman will live on your money, takes your things until she gets bored and leaves you to find another
source.
There are different types of attachment. Some are bad. Some are healthy
This is too funny. My husband told me i have the personality of an cat.
Men have been saying that for eons. A record low number of women have the ability to refer to their husband.
Because you bury your own sh!t?
Makes sense. Needed this today.
I love this analogy. It’s such a perfect way to think and act with women. I also grew up with cats and can say it is exactly like you have said as I have also had a long relationship and short ones.
And woman will live on your money, takes your things until she gets bored and leaves you to find another
source.
This is a brilliant analogy, thank you for this.
I’ve always thought this! Thanks for the video man
Treat people like cats, this must be why I prefer dogs
sdooooooooooooooo true lol, i have had cats many times but i prefer dogs any day over a cat, they are loyal friendly and fun to be around and i have never had one bite me because they were being stupid.
@@edwardmylnychuk5774 dogs are stupid like hell.
Brilliant analysis and anology.
I freaking love cats. All my life I've been telling people that we can learn a lot just by watching them. It's like love without chains
Yes! I have learned so much from my cat! The best teacher ever!
Let me go through life loving people like cats. Brilliant!!!
Dude I love this practical advice 🐱
Good perspective
The problem for most guys is that absolutely nobody comes to us when we ignore them. I focused on finding my purpose, but the only things I inherently find meaning in do not attract women, or even create interaction with them. I'm not interested in living someone else's purpose in order to "get out there"
This is so true! I Love my wife to bits but if she left tomorrow I would get a new one tomorrow 😂
By attachment is he referring to connection/good dynamic or constant closeness.
This is a pretty interesting approach to relationship with a woman.
Orion is next level.
Tried it and was successful but it gets tiring so preferred being alone
Seems consistent with the legal and cultural rules of society these days. People are free to come and go as they please whether it be dating or MARRIAGE of all institutions (not the norm for most of human existence). So let them. When people get tired of having no concrete bonds with each other and dealing with the lack of dependability then maybe things will change. Maybe not...who knows.
60% of mother cats are single and raise 80% of jailbirds and 85% of kittens with behavioral disorders, so the yard must become one big litterbox for things to change.
No one loves without attachment
Love is not an echo....
Frank! Yeah my cat comes when I call him. I hope my lover does too lol. I think I need to watch more videos.
Cats may be angry or annoyed with you but ultimately they will stick around and not leave you when you lose your job or they start sleeping with a waitress 15 years younger than you.
Cats will definitely go to those who feed them 😂😂 they can’t help if their owner is jobless and can’t even fulfill their basic needs
I'm seeing more and more men make women carry their own weight and if not, those men leaving for younger women.
@@forgottenfuryanprecisely! 😢
@@cheekymonkeygirl3378
Women are a net tax burden so it's ironic. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces so men are getting a bad deal even if single.
@@forgottenfuryanmen should have always made women carry their weight. But men care more about simping for women than being worthy
I've said that for years
I was just going to say the same this. ... but most don't get it or want to do it
This is the cutest kind of love 😻😻😻
My three favorite cats came when I called them, every time (unless they were hiding from the thunder and I had to coax them out from under the couch)
Please keep up with the shorts, there are good reminders after watching the full videoa
For me as a woman I don't like this actually but I feel like I have to adapt..
😂lol perfect analogy : truly amazing
Yea. Judges tour relationship based on value. Just like women do. If she's loyal take care of her if not leave her in the another bang zone.never love any like you love your child
I have a cat. Im not sure what percentage of the year I like it. I think its smaller than the percentage of it I dislike it or ignore it completely beyond covering its necessities.
So glad Obi-wan got his PsyD 🥲
This sounds an awfully similar to avoidant attachment in many ways
Loves is interesting. You really can't truly love anyone without empathy. If you can't empathize, you will not be able to love either. It's also highly unlikely that you will ever be loved for free without it costing you anything.
I love without aTtachment
No attachment, no marriage contract, no worries!
Translation: I have never had a deep, meaningful relationship with a woman. It's funny how the Manospherians can be so perceptive in certain observations about women yet fail spectacularly on basic relationship advice.
Immensely powerful
Ok, but what if we are 1 year into the relationahip and obviously attached to someone toxic...amd it's hard to leave because you are attached.
And she won't leave.
And she broke a 75 inch QLED last night because she's on her period.
There goes 2 grand....
I think I answered my own question.
Just need to choose the right time to kick her out I think.
I don't think that works with romantic relationships.Definitely works with friendships though.
Do you mean this behavior between spouses as well?
My cat always comes when I call
Then it just not love.. love without attachment not possible for ego..
Do you practice that Dr. O or trying ?😊
Me I'm practicing and it feels me well . I practice without attachment by being occupied with something that is productive like projects, gardening, engage in community , cooking, reading, and other things that make my mind and body works . Also by relaxing and sleeping 😊.
Some people are like cats most often they're lazy 😁.
Ps.. goodnight 😴🙂 Bless you there in Bay area 🙏
Ace tha game of life my dear friend, do not run away from bit
how do I stop thinking about her?
Meaoow❤❤😊
It’s funny. I don’t get people, but I definitely get cats.
If you're emotionally healthy and don't have a personality disorder, why on earth are your only relationship options games of control and the emotional roller coaster? 🤔
Where my dog people at?!
Is this the jedi dating class I knwo we are supposed to keep things casual.
Cats are cool though.
My husband loves my cat😂
If you're in love, you're ALREADY attached lol! If you're consciously trying to not be attached, you already ARE being controlled. That LOVE is controlling and changing your behavior to protect yourself.
Im not so sure loving without attachment is the goal. That feels a bit like treating people like they're disposable. "I love you.... for now"
But i was attached to my cats
😸🙌🏻❤️
I like dogs. They are pack animals just like humans 😂
Dogs are loyal
This guy is getting weirdier by the day
✝️
This.
Im legit a cat whisperer....no cat can stand my spspspspspspsp
Children are definitely like cats. They will shove, kick, and scream to get you away sometimes and scream, bite and pull on you to get attention (yes, for half an hour straight). You can call it mind games what you have to do to make them cooperate, but really it's more like making yourself more fun and attractive to them. Threats and punishments aren't very effective and comes with backlash. So maybe treat people like actual children and not like the school master (villain) trope.
can you paraphrase that again?
Cats > Dogs
Pspsps! Over here, bish! 😅
I think it would be impossible for me to have sex with a woman, and not feel some attraction or emotional attachment. I have never been to a prostitute. I just couldn't do it. I am amazed that some guys can sleep with 304s and not feel anything. I think being celibate would be a better option then having empty sex with women...and I totally love sex.
Lived 42 years with Cats....
Did Not apply to a man who emotionally absent...WHO seduced me....😢😂❤
Thank you❤
if a cat harasses you because you give it no attention, the cat can't love you without attachment. If a cat scratches you because you want to per it when they don't the cat sounds a bit disregulated.
Thats why i dont like cats. I prefer to be surrounded by dogs. Loyal as fuck lovers sensibles smarts friendly protectives. Let the cats go, find yourself a dog that you know is going to welcome you the best way when. You get home
Wait do u have to be the cat or act as if they are the cat
Hi some people might be scared of God child
I’m gonna start calling these women miss meow
This is sum shit a Jedi would say, lol.
Cats manipulate their carers🤔
I want to be the cat.
So that's why Catwoman turned evil? Didn't get stroked enough by Batman.
I’m the cat’s person this is a huge red flag by the way