I know my parents mean well, but yeah. They do feel strict a lot. One thing I've noticed is that for everything you get to do as you get older, the stricter punishments become, and the less freedom you have. I've been making the same mistakes over many years, punished longer and longer, but I've been grounded for months at this point
@@ericdurish1254 they're not THAT bad. They provide for me, give me stuff i like most of the time, and have been helping with schoolwork and such, they're just not great at understanding why i have problems with them sometimes. Heck, they're willing to help with finances and such for college. They're willing to raise me better than their parents treated them, and that's an improvement at the very least. While i do want to live my life my way, I appreciate that they at least try, and do better than their parents. Perhaps they deserve a stern taking-to, but Hell is way too much
You hit it right on the head. I had a strict military father and I agree wholeheartedly. I made a promise to myself to never treat my child the same way. My daughter (16 yo) even brought up parenting styles she learned in class and thank God she sees me as the opposite of authoritarian. Also I was physically punished too as a child that made me very confrontational and aggressive towards anyone I thought was trying to hurt or disrespect me. Also as a teen I equated love with violence, it didn’t occur to me until I got therapy. Now I’m much calmer and kinder to myself. Thanks for the video I love the style!
My mom was young when she has her. 21. So my older sister and brother were met with a totally different parenting style than me and my little brother. We are way calmer than the older two.
Parents these days are absolute boomers. They don't understand the fact that they are actually abusing people like us, and put the whole blame on them because they think they're teaching us the right way. No, they're not! They shout at us whenever we make mistakes and tell everyone this is not abuse! This IS abuse! That's all there is for us.
One even worse thing is all the physical issues developed as a result of chronic mental damage and stress. I developed so many health issues out of seemingly nowhere which I assume must be due to the years and years of stress I had to go through 24/7.
oh yeah it's so true I'm like a teen, but gosh, everything hurts me - my arm's joint, my leg's muscles, only to realize that i push my body too far out of anxiety, and the constant exhaustion comes with a reason
India Is The Worst Country In parenting As I Am An Indian I Know How Here Parents Actually Are Over caring And Toxic And Trust Me If When I Checked From Psych2go Video "Signs That Your Parents Are Actually Toxic" Then I Found All Signs In Parents Of Toxicity And Currently I Am Just Thinking To Grow Up And Get Away From Here
Yet another video where I'm thinking "how did they perfectly outline what I'm struggling with?" Perhaps my parents were too strict, but not out of malice. I know they did the best they could, considering both of them came from very dysfunctional families themselves growing up. A lot of the hurtful behaviors I was subjected to was considered "normal" to them, and they couldn't understand why I've been behaving the way I was/am. At least I understand why now, and can forgive myself for the issues that have haunted me for years. It's not my fault.
For parents: being strict on some things is fine, but temper it with compassion, empathy and a sense of humor. Raising healthy kids is hard and you're not going to be perfect because nobody is. Everybody messes up their kids in some way. Have rules and expectations, but know when to bend them if necessary and be willing to talk and listen to your child. Don't assume that as the adult, you always know what's best. Teach your child that it's okay to ask for help and explore different experiences and it's okay to be different. Let them know you're a safe place/haven always, no matter what, even if they do something wrong or bring home bad grades. You can let them know there will be consequences for actions, but still let them know it's safe to come to you and you'll love them no matter what.
My mom for example only is interested in my studies, she doesn’t care about my personal interests, passions, or even about my friends. Back when I lived with my parents if I brought up a new TV show I’m watching she’s like “and you are wasting your time on that instead of studying?” If I was playing a video game trying to relax for an hour she would berrate me about my grades and what not” if I talked to her about my friends she could not give two f*ks and would tell me she doesn’t even remember their names, and being an only child made me grow up lonely and I became really quiet as a teenager
@@JCardo2502 the absolute same is with me i have really hard classes i got b- in the end of year but i was grounded for a month for not doing better and now they have cameras all over my house to spy on me and make sure i don't have friends over play video games or even play with my dogs and i have all a's. whenever i tell them what i want to do as a career they tell me to f*ck off and think realistically. i was telling muy mom about a party i was invited too and she was just saif f*ck those b*tches, your not going. and now i barely even talk to anybody and am just always depressed locked in my room.
My mother was neglected as a child. I think she was trying desperately to make sure she didn’t end up repeating her parents’ mistakes, but instead of being left alone, I was never alone. She wanted to give me a better life than what she had. But she mistook her desires and unfulfilled desires for my own. Without intending to, she tried to mold me into the person she wished she could’ve become.
I was speaking with a friend recently who grew up with physically abusive, religiously zealoted, helicopter parents. He joined the military to get away from his family and said that the PTSD, nightmares, and flashback from military service are still better than living with his parents. Let that sink in just how bad abusive parents are.
Timestamps 1). The inner critic 0:37 2). The bad person 1:31 3). The art of lying 2:17 4). The rules 3:01 5). The rebel 3:49 6). The sadness 4:31 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
I was raised by a really strict mom, which I think it's really similar to most stories here in the comments, so I will not go onto details. Nowadays, Im a young adult with some issues, but mostly I turned out "fine". Most of my problems comes from a excess of perfectionism, and a lack of sense of selfworth whose translate itself on a need to nurture and protect those close to me. You guys basically hit the nail on the head, the "good liar" part was essentially me as a teenager, which was a quite useful hability to have in order to get what I needed, and sometimes protect me and my friends from their parents, as some of them had really similar stories to mine, while they became more vulnerable than I was, I became adapted, and developed this weird sense of family with them. It's a long story, but as I matured at least that I could say I turned out well enough. As for my parents, and specially my mom, I forgive them, not because they apologized or recognized their mistakes (she still says to this day all she did was for the greater good of me, and I would probably do the same to my children, like hell I will but ok) but more on the aspect of it's not worth it for me to dwell in a hatred and resentiment I had as a teenager, they are still my parents, and even if I can see their flaws, it's not like I love them less for it. Each family has it's problems, the good, the bad and the ugly, and I still love the good, and learned over time to fight like hell against the bad, and accept the ugly. I write this to any kid or teenager who might've or might be going through this like I did, stay strong. Find your motivation to keep going, I found mine, and I powered through all, with their help. Each story is different, but keep 2 things in mind. Never Surrender, Never, keep fighting, be proud, know your self worth and remind yourself of self worth of others, you might find a strong group of people to keep yourself together. And most importantly, don't let the shadow of your parents define you, it's not your fault of any of that, but it's also a choice to choose to stay and keep being the "injusticed" forever, be the adult, one day, in due time, you'll mature and have the strength to grow and let that hurt child rest one final time, the agony of every abuse one day will give space to happier memories, and maybe that child would be happy to see that.
@@ericdurish1254 indeed some of them are, it's just not me that it's going to be the executioner in that trial, I have my life to live, and in my case I made my choice. It's a personal judgement, and you should always do what you think it's right, but I chose my peace of mind in place of holding a vendetta.
OMG! This is exactly what I am experiencing! I was born in Hong Kong, and growing up in a very harsh environment, where I had been beaten and forbidden to play games if I was 'naughty', even it's just not getting a mark above 90. We have moved to England, and I am still living with them (as I am only 16), but I support myself up no matter how sad and stressed I feel every day. For anyone who are the same as me, I hope you do realise that overall, no one is perfect and can control your life except yourself. I will always be here if you need me. Let's try to recover together! :)
I just developed schizoid personality disorder and schizophrenia; when the world is hostile, build your own, just try not to get trapped. Btw, positive reinforcement is a much better form of social engineering for those around you, rather than positive and negative punishments
Well theres some things parents dont understand like: I cannot pause the game online, You sometimes think "you know what imma be a responsible child imma do the dishes" and on your way to do the dishes your mom (or dad) says "hey make sure you do them dishes" see now its not calming for me cuz when i do it by myself its calming for me but when they say you need to do it now your required to do it...
just wondering if anyone else feels this way after watching: my mom is a good mom, she is nice and lets me do things but is still very forceful with grades and is disappointed when i do a lot of things. but i saw that i do or have experienced most of the things in the video. i just cant wait to go to college and just leave this house but i also feel bad for feeling that way
4/6 I knew I grew up in a strict household But I also grew up in a household where you were going to cry when you were getting yelled at your acting hard done by, this taught me how to lie, how to act around them and how to never cry Yikes
I have, but I’m not living with them anymore. Thankfully. I also just wouldn’t stop beating myself up, until my therapist mentioned it. I’m very glad that you make these amazing videos! ❤ Keep up the good work ❤
I think another important factor with this issue is the culture a child is raised in. There are probably some societies and cultures where its more expected to be less or more strict with children than others. I think this would be an important topic to cover sometimes, while also being mindful to be fair and balanced towards judging those specific cultures.
I love my mom, I really do, but having a helicopter parent is exhausting. A thing that really sticks out to me is that she treats me and my sister as adults only when it benefits her, all the other times we are her "little" kids. She wanted to rent an apartment for her and my dad to live in the town near my university so we can be closer (I'm 20 years old now), even though they currently live only 2 hours away by car. She sometimes gets angry that my sister doesn't live with her anymore and complains how she "abandoned" her now that she has a husband- my sister is 30 years old. The constant closeness just smothers you and doesn't let you develop into a competent adult who can stand on their own two feet.
To be honest, I feel the same. My stepfather is not so stricted but my mom, she really is. She thinks her way is the best, she jugdes me how I am dressed, how I do stuff, she still argues with my stepdad that really irritates me and I becoming more rebelious toward her. I love her but, her strict rules and behaviour really annoys. And how many times scared me or threatened me to send my back to Poland is, out of mind.
I know you might not find this, but thank you for your work. I have learned to let go of toxic relationships because of your channel and i’ve learned to recognize them too
I hate to think of my parents that way but... damn do some of these really hit hard. -I'm very happy to no longer be totally under their control but at the same time, I end up being extremely unproductive without the kind of formal structure I grew up with. -I sometimes rebelled against the strict (and probably unnecessary) video game rules my parents set for me (I don't really rebel against anything these days, but I have learned to really think for myself) -I'm really paranoid and overly sensitive to criticism partly because of how many different things my parents decided to punish me and make me feel bad for -I'm autistic. I couldn't make friends in school because I couldn't socialize the same way non-autistics do, thus I usually kept quiet because I knew it would be better to be ignored than to be bullied for my social awkwardness - which I was very heavily bullied for at one point when I did actually put in the effort to befriend someone. Yet for so many years my parents would insist that I "wasn't trying hard enough" to make friends with kids who clearly didn't accept people like me. I was so afraid to tell my parents about about the bullying I faced in middle school because I was worried they'd blame me and make me feel ashamed for not being able to make friends like they always did in the past. This was the start of the self-worth issues I deal with to this day I really don't want to make my parents out to be anything more than moderately authoritative, but some things really did push the line now that I look back on it. Since I'm an adult they're very lenient now, which I am so relieved about
I am The Rules. When i went out into the world it was almost a culture shock to make my own decisions. I was scared af to say or do ANYTHING. For 2 years being on my own i had to learn to break away from being fearful of uncertainty and ambiguous answers. Being exposed helped me a lot to get over it quickly. Now im not afraid to ask questions when im confused.
I've had the same thing. I definitely feel uncomfortable outside of specific settings too because I don't know the "rules." I wish the video gave some advice on where to go from here
I was a helicopter parent to my only child but not at all harsh or a disciplinarian. As a stay at home Dad who volunteered at school more than any other parent I know I knew what was going on with my daughter as well as her friends and classmates. I did set high expectations but I also told her as long as she did her best I would never criticize the outcome. My daughter is a new mother to her own little girl now and she asked me to be just as involved in her life as I was her moms and I can’t wait!
I'm starting to feel as if there was some major shift in my childhood that went from one end to the other. Or, maybe some of the strictness was arbitrary. I was comforting myself this morning about some of these and other behaviors, and one of the things I said to myself was that my childhood didn't make any sense. It never really did, and I tried my best to give meaning and reason to it, but at the end of the day, I just have me. I remember both being locked in the house for days on end, not being allowed to go outside, and I also remember a time when I got locked out of the house and forced to stay outside. Had I not been so afraid, I may have given in and started breaking windows, because I was so angry. It's weird how I remember having ultimate, envious amounts of freedom, but I also remember moments of arbitrary fear and restrictions. Of strict adherence to the rules and only really being comfortable at school and work, but also a complete lack of self discipline and meaningful structure. I guess days were more like weeks when we were kids, and a year used to last a lot longer when every day was a larger part of our life. A day seems to mean so little now, but I remember as a child they felt like they would never end, and a year as a 7-12 year old felt more like a 5 year stretch now, and every day had so much more meaning and impact and trying to remember each and every one is an undertaking, and allowing myself to accept that 3 months as a child was enough to really affect me while as an adult it's like wind howling at a mountain of experience, just with lots of blizzards
This is so crazy. As an adult I’m realizing a lot of things now that I go to counseling. My mom is a major helicopter mom even to this day and I’m 33. I had a suicide attempt 5 years ago and I do feel like some of it stems back to her making me feel like I have to be what she wants and I’m always at the mercy of what she wants me to be.
I def grew up with this. Could say i woke up to it at about 9 or 10. Bear with me, but it was finding out Santa and all that wasn’t real. The part that made me so angry was that I’d been taught not to lie, yet was lied to about this. I’m now going to be 28 in June and live in an apartment with my partner. I’m often still lost with being able to do whatever. I actually sleep better now and I’m a lot more relaxed. I still have a lot of tendencies from coming from an abusive household, mostly if not only from my mom. I’ve had my life threatened twice as a 20 year old. I swore to myself if it happened again, I’d call the police. Even my coworkers have noticed I’m a lot happier now. It’s nice but still weird having my own freedom. Not really anything about moving out has come as a shock, other than the freedom that I’ve been craving so long. Later this year, I plan on talking to my doctor about my mental health. Maybe even get some therapy, we’ll see
I watched this to check my parenting style....but ended up learning that I display ALL of these side effects (yes, I grew up with a super strict parent). Time for another round of self development.
this hits way too close to home I wish I could try to learn how to fly on my own tho but I have health issues that are overseen by my mom due tto me not being able to walk very well hopefully I am able to roam free like a bird soon
While I do recognize myself in traits 1 to 4 and 6 in some measure, I do not think that it's because of my parents. They are oblivious to it (even now), yet I set those high self-expectations on my own because I isolated myself willingly. At the end of the day, I still think that you can decide to be whoever you want. At the end of the day, there is no "Who you are." It's always your choice to be the kind of person you are, even if your aren't aware of it. I guess your worst ennemy is always going to be yourself. B/
Same, i show all signs, but my parents aren't strict at all, im way stricter with myself, and im putting on myself tons of pressure (which caused some mental problems) i didnt understood why i show all signs till you mentioned it, which does make sense
I had a helicopter sister. She was also a bully, but we also have older brothers and they were bullies to her and she would speak up to them,but they wouldn't listen to her so she took it out on me. So, I kind of understood where she was coming from so I didn't care that much how she treated me because it wasn't exactly her fault, but I felt like I should have stood up to her and them at leas5 every once in awhile, but I didn't. So they grew up to be bullies.
The fact that I was grown up in a overprotective childhood, it's not easy for me for telling everything how I feel, cause they were born in a different generation and they say that insecurities or anxiety are just Nonsense. I couldn't go out with friends, while I was on secondary school, cause my parents were critical about me socializing with them and my friends didn't want to deal w that. As a result, I still didn't learned completely how to set up my own boundaries, some important life lessons and how to say no. I couldn't go out with my friends, till I was at the age of 18.
Most of the things related to me expect drugs then, but it scares me to grow up, it's like if every path I have to chose can kill me. I never found anyone write about this thing, and it makes me feel even more anxious.
I’ve never felt that my parents were strict, but strangely, I relate to most of these (don’t worry guys I’m nowhere near depressed I’m the feral funny gremlin in school) It hits really weird because me and my parents are really close. We talk, we laugh and we spend time together bonding and I’m almost certain we have a healthy relationship, so I’m not sure what happened for me to feel this way. Any advice??
I feel like i kinda know what you mean, I have strict but not too strict parents but we still get along pretty well, especially me and my dad. I have no idea why I am so sad and negative and keep judging myself. I just get worse and worse socially too (which seems a little different from you though) and I have no idea why, I just suddenly seem to not be able to make many new friends, but those really good ones I have, I’d do anything for.
I understand you and it´s exactly the feeling I have right now... I think, and this is what I do most of the time, you should go your own way: 1 Don´t scream your toughts out loud in a discussion about the rules, because that will make it worse and your parents will be madder, and perhaps the rules even stronger 2 Think about the rules they have, why they are there, what you would change later and why -You'll get a deeper understanding of why these rules are there, but ofc I know there are rules that are just useless :| 3 Build your own way inside -What I mean by this is make a whole world yourself from the inside like you want it to be, this helps with escaping from sadness about rules (idk if this really works, it just yeeted through my head) and, lastly 4 If you think a rule is too strict, talk about it with your parents -talk about why they have this rule and why it needs to be so strict. BUT: !warning! don't get mad, angry or whatever because this will be a sign to your parents to make the rule even STRICTER Sorry for the long tekst, but I hoped it helped :)
Sign number 1#:They buy a suspiciously high amount of kerosene and when you ask them why do they do that,they are programed to say "Go clean your room" or "Go do your homework"
This disribes me so much my moms strict an plus my past of my father dying an me getting beat by stepdad I just feel numb an I only feel happy when people get hurt in my family but when it’s my friends I feel remorseful
Damn, this video hit me harder than expected.A lot of things happened in my childhood, including some "raising technics", causing the deepseedet mental health issues I've been dealing with, for almost as long as I can remember. I'll be fine, I by now learned through a lot of therapy some ways how to cope with mental toll, but this video setting me back a bit speaks to its quality. The talked about effects are very real and I'm really happy you made this video, making me feeling understood. Thank you ^^ ♥️
The family is the reason, the first thing that builds the personality of the individual. You may see a person who succeeded in his life only because his family was like a shelter for him, but you can see the same person who took a different path and entered into crime, fanaticism and anger only because of his family.
@@beagrothus7916 No, it's just a picture, I know what it means, but frankly, I find it beautiful... But it's funny to know that this picture has a direct relationship to the video. You can only imagine if the father of the Nazi leader Adolf Hitler treated him well, we wouldn't have known such a thing as Nazism. See how abuse has changed the world
Grew up in a home where my Mother would constantly beat me, mock me or psychologically insult me while giving praise to my brother all the time who (only during school, not anymore...) academically did well. While everyone was crying at Uni when their parents were saying bye for the first day they left them, I was so excited and so happy. I never moved back home, and never want to again - my hometown feels like a shit place and I hate it whenever I have to go back.
When I became a parent, I knew that structure was only necessary for safety, so that my child would be able to explore the world around them. He has hobbies I don't understand, but I support them. Next, he's getting a pet that he's old enough to care for, with support from me, even though most would consider it "creepy"
Can you make a video on the effects of unhealthy parenting methods. Because due to my parents and school trauma as a child and being spanked and punished even if it wasn’t my fault has caused me to become detached from life. I no longer want to go out, I no longer want to go to school. I get bored easily and don’t want to see family often and when I do I can’t stop thinking about home. My defense for myself is not doing anything more than what’s asked because if I try I might move something or do something that makes them upset. I’m constantly apologizing for little things and am not comfortable sharing even the smallest of feelings. Sometimes I lay in bed for hours and hours staring at my phone because I don’t want to deal with the responsibility and expectations. I feel alone a lot. I’m always tired, I have no motivation I feel happy passing with a B- but my parents patronize me about it. I play on my computer for hours and hours and only have fun when I have a friend. But by myself I’m detached and I always have the feeling wanting to socialize but also wanting to be alone all the time.
Reflect on your life right now. Do you have enough alone time? Not loneliness, but solitude… spending quality time with yourself like you would with a best friend. Breathe in and assess the balance of time for yourself versus the time you give to others. Everyone will have a different balance. The question is - does yours match up in a way that feels right to you?
I grew up with so much criticism that I became very shy and rarely raised my hand in school, and dreaded having the teacher call on me. Then, when I was a teen, my father criticized me for not being more social! Can't win.
Can you guys make an episode about tourettes/types of tics cause I'm curious since I think I have something called "simple motor tic" and I just wanna learn more:')
I think my parents are a pair of AH-64D Apache Longbow attack helicopter, everytime I asked for a bit more freedom in my life they just responded with a 30mm gatling cannon fire and several volleys of AGM-114K Hellfire missiles
who else had parents that would control the order in which you ate your food but didn't teach you how to do taxes because they were too busy being controlling that caring
1:50 this- It was my best friend who taught me I had to losen up learn to make mistakes and actually be true to myself without caring what others think. without realizing I was being let down because of my past trauma- and cousins excelling in school(excelling as in honors, gifted, and specialized high schools qualified for IVE League) (i do well but my mom tries to take ALL of the credit….) ….
I’m in the middle of watching this and my dad comes out of his office (I’m sitting at the kitchen counter because if I’m in my room I’m supposedly “hiding something from them”), makes a beeline from the fridge to me, looks over my shoulder, says in the most condescending tone “what the hell you’re always on your phone” (which isn’t true I’m usually writing, reading, playing my instruments, or at work), and he has the audacity to reach over and TURN OFF MY PHONE, chuckle, and leave. Keep in mind I’m 18 years old, my parents keeping me home for my second year of college and want me to commute to school so I haven’t had a break from them😭.
You wanna know what's funny. Parents become so overprotective that they end up being the most dangerous people in our lives. They are not different from strangers. We do not want to trust them and be close them. We don't want to be around them. Some parents protect their ego more than their kids from them. They put their feelings and emotions above yours and make your feelings and emotions invalid even when it comes to how they make you feel as a teen. They expect you to live important aspects of your life by how they feel. Like their feelings and emotions are more important than yours all the time. They want you to be a slave to them just because you're a teen because that's what they believe teens were meant to be treated. I thought my Mom learned that slavery was bad when our race was facing it for years, but I'm still seeing her treating me like a slave making me go against the things that I want to achieve all because she can't control her emotions. She don't ever listen to me, and she forgets that I want respect. She doesn't care about letting me trust my self for shit. She got in the way of my horror story for no reason. She thinks that she's protecting me when really she's just showing how much she doesn't trust herself that she taught me right from wrong. She be saying "You may become violent from it or change from it" when not all teens are affected by violence and horror, but of course, parents don't care about listening to us just because of our fucking age.🙄I blame investigated discovery and crime shows for this. Also she gets in the way of my dream as a CZcamsr. Like why?! She thinks I won't be safe being one. She's afraid of me becoming famous and people finding us, but there's no need to be that overprotective when you just ban this from me all together. This isn't teaching me to be wise. This is just teaching me to be a coward of taking risk and following wishes that I have with my own life. Life is too short to be a slave to my Mom's feelings and emotions. I don't want to go through this world not becoming things that I wanna become because of her. If I'm seeing kids younger than me living their lives as Gaming CZcamsrs and Musicians with no danger, then it's not impossible for me to be safe on here. She makes decisions out of fear, and it causes her to do cruel, low down, and unfair actions and uses force all the time instead of taking the chance to understand me. I'm 19, and I've been through a lot of shit with her. I don't know if God meant for me to go through this, but I'm against her being this way to me because this is not how I want to remember my young life. She shows no remorse for treating me this way which makes this even worse. Like here I am giving my free love to you, and this is the bullshit I get in return. You do realize that the only reason that kids that are going through this are saying that they love you is because they have the fear of going to hell right. The only reason kids are loving their parents today is because of the bible and out of fear of going to hell, and that's sad. Just because it says to "honor your father and mother" doesn't mean you get to treat your kids like slaves. They don't care about taking accountability for the wrongs that they do neither. They just manipulate you into putting up with their bullshit by making you think you're wrong by standing up against it. The worst thing about this is that they wait too late to make things right with their kids. These are the parents we are forced to love and support by the bible. Selfish, emotionally immature, manipulative, careless, overprotective, overcontrolling parents that don't care about how they make us feel as human beings. These are the parents that are responsible for a teen's emotional suppression. They force us to tell the truth about everything except about them as parents and call this disrespect all because they can't handle the truth about them. They want us to care about their feelings and emotions when they don't even care about ours. I'm suppose to care about how I make them feel when they are treating me like this. When I'm facing depression because of my Mom, sparring her emotions is the last thing that's on my mind. I want to shatter her heart to pieces at this point because she be the main one saying that she love me when she doesn't care about truly showing it. She don't care about putting in the true effort to maintain a relationship with me. She just cares about forcing a relationship with me. She forces me to be close to her instead of making me want to. She asks "Are you depressed" when she gets in the way of the wishes that I have with my own life. What pisses me off is that she forces me to think that how she's treating me is ok. I have every right to feel how I feel. Always making struggling a contest "You have no right to be depressed because you have no bills to pay" Do they ever think about themselves as the reason why I'm depressed? No, they don't. There's a difference between parents that think they know how to love you and have a true relationship with you when in reality they don't vs. parents that actually care about knowing how to make a relationship with you or know how to. This is the worst generation of parents we've ever had in our lives. They make it hell for us alive, yet they expect us to support them when they are dead.
I feel I had decently controlling parents. I would always hide away in my room if anything was going south. I've had things taken away from me because of my grades, including my guitar. In school, I was just absolutely crazy and wild because i just wanted people to spend time with me. I'm 26 now. I'm at work thinking I'm constantly being hyper-monitored, and I go home thinking [knowing] people look down on me like im not doing enough. It's just a hole that I can't seem to climb out of
The thing is my parents don’t give any punishments. They are just not assertive whatsoever. My mom is completely passive while loving and unassertive. My dad is snarky, complex, unassertive and just so normal and non-thinking
I really like the new style of the people its like an evolucion which is nice also thank you ive been seeing this channel 2 months and i know thing such as fake friends toxic parents etc. Thank you!
“Mothers gonna make all of your nightmares come true. Mothers gonna put all of her fears into you. Mothers gonna keep you right here under her wing. She won’t let you fly but she might let you sing.”
Jeez, this hit me right in the feels. My mother is by no means cold or unloving, (thankfully) but she was strict about certain things to protect me. While alot of the time those things protected me, I realized over time that I had a very strong pang of guilt/weakness when it came to criticism. My mom has emotional issues and she takes medication for them. But as for me, I've had an illness similar to fibromyalgia since I was about 9. So I confuse wether it's because I'm sick all the time, or because of my mom. Don't get me wrong, my mother is the most loving person I know. It's just she ended up making some mistakes because of taking wrong medications at times. I was extremely depressed in elementary school... I never knew why...
Honestly this feels like me that my parents are helicopter ing me a lot. I feel so sad and depressed. Omg I felt completely the same the way u explained it. Idk what to do. Thank you showing the video
My parents don't really care if i make a mistake, but more likely my classmates do, like you make 1 teeny tiny mistake and you get sent to hell. Quite literally
…actually my parents do care about the mistakes- they kept telling me I would not graduate on time even said I am only graduating becaus eonfthe school system… i was heartbroken… bursted into crying during lunch- felt like all I did was not worth at all-
I noticed most of these signs from my parents. Especially if I make one mistake, they get on my case. Or I did not do anything good enough, I’m a mess. But they have to realize too we’re human at the end of the day. There has to be a balance of strict and non-strict conditions. That’s how I see it.
NOOOO PLS STOP CALLING mE out like this i really can't function without rules to go around to and i bully myself for every little imperfection, only because my parents realised i can do so far better and now they want even more of it ...or it's probably my brain again that has accepted that fate i really can't tell between real and fake anymore
Can we talk about how two different parent types can mess up a kid? I have an absentee father and over-protective mother. My dad never took the time to pay attention to me unless it was annoyance or throwing a new game at me (metaphorically) to shoe me away. My mother always did everything for me. As I aged up my freedoms didn't grow with me. I didn't even know how to spread peanut butter on bread till 11. I'm 23 and totally unprepared to live on my own. I'm barely able to use an oven on simple box foods these days. I also have a crippling fear of driving at least partiality born from my mother commenting on how my dad's driving is reckless, and me experiencing this 1st hand on his few times doing things with me. I'm an adult that is developmentally behind by several years.
"Parents" are just a temporary home. Sometimes, and I learned this they need to be shedded like an old skin because you outgrow and out live them inevitably.
I thought im a helicopter parent cuz my partner calls me that. Im just scared of them being hurt, damaged and me not being there to protect my kids. Outside world is terrifying.
I know my parents mean well, but yeah. They do feel strict a lot. One thing I've noticed is that for everything you get to do as you get older, the stricter punishments become, and the less freedom you have. I've been making the same mistakes over many years, punished longer and longer, but I've been grounded for months at this point
Sounds like your parents need to go straight to HELL!!!¡!
@@ericdurish1254 they're not THAT bad. They provide for me, give me stuff i like most of the time, and have been helping with schoolwork and such, they're just not great at understanding why i have problems with them sometimes. Heck, they're willing to help with finances and such for college. They're willing to raise me better than their parents treated them, and that's an improvement at the very least. While i do want to live my life my way, I appreciate that they at least try, and do better than their parents. Perhaps they deserve a stern taking-to, but Hell is way too much
You hit it right on the head. I had a strict military father and I agree wholeheartedly. I made a promise to myself to never treat my child the same way. My daughter (16 yo) even brought up parenting styles she learned in class and thank God she sees me as the opposite of authoritarian. Also I was physically punished too as a child that made me very confrontational and aggressive towards anyone I thought was trying to hurt or disrespect me. Also as a teen I equated love with violence, it didn’t occur to me until I got therapy. Now I’m much calmer and kinder to myself. Thanks for the video I love the style!
My sister needs therapy. She cant find love without violence.
My mom was young when she has her. 21. So my older sister and brother were met with a totally different parenting style than me and my little brother. We are way calmer than the older two.
I hope you're feeling well, everybody has problems haunting them from time to time.❤
I just wanna be kind and express any emotions, whether that's happiness, sadness, or fear, anger, maybe even love
Parents these days are absolute boomers. They don't understand the fact that they are actually abusing people like us, and put the whole blame on them because they think they're teaching us the right way. No, they're not! They shout at us whenever we make mistakes and tell everyone this is not abuse! This IS abuse! That's all there is for us.
Sign 1: they own a helicopter
Helicopter helicopter ♫
@@SeVen0807-m4fi thought the same thing
Bahaha 😂
Sign 2: they know how to operate a helicopter
Sign 3 : they have another helicopter
0:39 inner critic
1:34 the bad person
2:18 art of lying
3:03 the rules
3:51 the rebel
4:33 the sadness
5:02 risk of suicide
5:42 nobody is perfect
💀
@@Ambattukam what
@@unknown11215 nothing
One even worse thing is all the physical issues developed as a result of chronic mental damage and stress. I developed so many health issues out of seemingly nowhere which I assume must be due to the years and years of stress I had to go through 24/7.
oh yeah it's so true
I'm like a teen, but gosh, everything hurts me - my arm's joint, my leg's muscles, only to realize that i push my body too far out of anxiety,
and the constant exhaustion comes with a reason
Same!!
What advice would you give to someone who has strict parents?
Run away from them
find a friend or group of friends who encourage you in the way your parents won’t.
Suffer
India Is The Worst Country In parenting As I Am An Indian I Know How Here Parents Actually Are Over caring And Toxic And Trust Me If When I Checked From Psych2go Video "Signs That Your Parents Are Actually Toxic" Then I Found All Signs In Parents Of Toxicity And Currently I Am Just Thinking To Grow Up And Get Away From Here
Tell them to mind there dam business
Yet another video where I'm thinking "how did they perfectly outline what I'm struggling with?" Perhaps my parents were too strict, but not out of malice. I know they did the best they could, considering both of them came from very dysfunctional families themselves growing up. A lot of the hurtful behaviors I was subjected to was considered "normal" to them, and they couldn't understand why I've been behaving the way I was/am. At least I understand why now, and can forgive myself for the issues that have haunted me for years. It's not my fault.
👏👏
yeah. me contemplating my life while watching this video
For parents: being strict on some things is fine, but temper it with compassion, empathy and a sense of humor. Raising healthy kids is hard and you're not going to be perfect because nobody is. Everybody messes up their kids in some way. Have rules and expectations, but know when to bend them if necessary and be willing to talk and listen to your child. Don't assume that as the adult, you always know what's best. Teach your child that it's okay to ask for help and explore different experiences and it's okay to be different. Let them know you're a safe place/haven always, no matter what, even if they do something wrong or bring home bad grades. You can let them know there will be consequences for actions, but still let them know it's safe to come to you and you'll love them no matter what.
My mom for example only is interested in my studies, she doesn’t care about my personal interests, passions, or even about my friends. Back when I lived with my parents if I brought up a new TV show I’m watching she’s like “and you are wasting your time on that instead of studying?” If I was playing a video game trying to relax for an hour she would berrate me about my grades and what not” if I talked to her about my friends she could not give two f*ks and would tell me she doesn’t even remember their names, and being an only child made me grow up lonely and I became really quiet as a teenager
@@JCardo2502 the absolute same is with me i have really hard classes i got b- in the end of year but i was grounded for a month for not doing better and now they have cameras all over my house to spy on me and make sure i don't have friends over play video games or even play with my dogs and i have all a's. whenever i tell them what i want to do as a career they tell me to f*ck off and think realistically. i was telling muy mom about a party i was invited too and she was just saif f*ck those b*tches, your not going. and now i barely even talk to anybody and am just always depressed locked in my room.
My mother was neglected as a child. I think she was trying desperately to make sure she didn’t end up repeating her parents’ mistakes, but instead of being left alone, I was never alone. She wanted to give me a better life than what she had. But she mistook her desires and unfulfilled desires for my own. Without intending to, she tried to mold me into the person she wished she could’ve become.
I was speaking with a friend recently who grew up with physically abusive, religiously zealoted, helicopter parents. He joined the military to get away from his family and said that the PTSD, nightmares, and flashback from military service are still better than living with his parents. Let that sink in just how bad abusive parents are.
Timestamps
1). The inner critic 0:37
2). The bad person 1:31
3). The art of lying 2:17
4). The rules 3:01
5). The rebel 3:49
6). The sadness 4:31
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
💖
❣
I was raised by a really strict mom, which I think it's really similar to most stories here in the comments, so I will not go onto details. Nowadays, Im a young adult with some issues, but mostly I turned out "fine". Most of my problems comes from a excess of perfectionism, and a lack of sense of selfworth whose translate itself on a need to nurture and protect those close to me.
You guys basically hit the nail on the head, the "good liar" part was essentially me as a teenager, which was a quite useful hability to have in order to get what I needed, and sometimes protect me and my friends from their parents, as some of them had really similar stories to mine, while they became more vulnerable than I was, I became adapted, and developed this weird sense of family with them. It's a long story, but as I matured at least that I could say I turned out well enough.
As for my parents, and specially my mom, I forgive them, not because they apologized or recognized their mistakes (she still says to this day all she did was for the greater good of me, and I would probably do the same to my children, like hell I will but ok) but more on the aspect of it's not worth it for me to dwell in a hatred and resentiment I had as a teenager, they are still my parents, and even if I can see their flaws, it's not like I love them less for it. Each family has it's problems, the good, the bad and the ugly, and I still love the good, and learned over time to fight like hell against the bad, and accept the ugly.
I write this to any kid or teenager who might've or might be going through this like I did, stay strong. Find your motivation to keep going, I found mine, and I powered through all, with their help. Each story is different, but keep 2 things in mind.
Never Surrender, Never, keep fighting, be proud, know your self worth and remind yourself of self worth of others, you might find a strong group of people to keep yourself together.
And most importantly, don't let the shadow of your parents define you, it's not your fault of any of that, but it's also a choice to choose to stay and keep being the "injusticed" forever, be the adult, one day, in due time, you'll mature and have the strength to grow and let that hurt child rest one final time, the agony of every abuse one day will give space to happier memories, and maybe that child would be happy to see that.
No one is entitled to forgiveness. Some parents can go to hell . Yes . Hell .
@@ericdurish1254 indeed some of them are, it's just not me that it's going to be the executioner in that trial, I have my life to live, and in my case I made my choice.
It's a personal judgement, and you should always do what you think it's right, but I chose my peace of mind in place of holding a vendetta.
OMG! This is exactly what I am experiencing! I was born in Hong Kong, and growing up in a very harsh environment, where I had been beaten and forbidden to play games if I was 'naughty', even it's just not getting a mark above 90. We have moved to England, and I am still living with them (as I am only 16), but I support myself up no matter how sad and stressed I feel every day. For anyone who are the same as me, I hope you do realise that overall, no one is perfect and can control your life except yourself. I will always be here if you need me. Let's try to recover together! :)
Omg i was born in Hong Kong too!
You described me (except that i am 13 and not 16 rn)
Let's recover together
Yeah I feel you… my mom IS from Hong Kong…. So yeah I see the pattern she’s a helicopter parent
I just developed schizoid personality disorder and schizophrenia; when the world is hostile, build your own, just try not to get trapped.
Btw, positive reinforcement is a much better form of social engineering for those around you, rather than positive and negative punishments
Same brother
Well theres some things parents dont understand like: I cannot pause the game online, You sometimes think "you know what imma be a responsible child imma do the dishes" and on your way to do the dishes your mom (or dad) says "hey make sure you do them dishes" see now its not calming for me cuz when i do it by myself its calming for me but when they say you need to do it now your required to do it...
Same me too
just wondering if anyone else feels this way after watching:
my mom is a good mom, she is nice and lets me do things but is still very forceful with grades and is disappointed when i do a lot of things. but i saw that i do or have experienced most of the things in the video. i just cant wait to go to college and just leave this house but i also feel bad for feeling that way
I sympathize.
I do feel the same, except it's both of my parents....
tell her a number ona piece of paper is worthless
4/6
I knew I grew up in a strict household
But I also grew up in a household where you were going to cry when you were getting yelled at your acting hard done by, this taught me how to lie, how to act around them and how to never cry
Yikes
I have, but I’m not living with them anymore. Thankfully. I also just wouldn’t stop beating myself up, until my therapist mentioned it. I’m very glad that you make these amazing videos! ❤ Keep up the good work ❤
I think another important factor with this issue is the culture a child is raised in. There are probably some societies and cultures where its more expected to be less or more strict with children than others. I think this would be an important topic to cover sometimes, while also being mindful to be fair and balanced towards judging those specific cultures.
They also micromanage you and prevent/protect you from making mistakes.
I love my mom, I really do, but having a helicopter parent is exhausting. A thing that really sticks out to me is that she treats me and my sister as adults only when it benefits her, all the other times we are her "little" kids. She wanted to rent an apartment for her and my dad to live in the town near my university so we can be closer (I'm 20 years old now), even though they currently live only 2 hours away by car. She sometimes gets angry that my sister doesn't live with her anymore and complains how she "abandoned" her now that she has a husband- my sister is 30 years old. The constant closeness just smothers you and doesn't let you develop into a competent adult who can stand on their own two feet.
My parents aren’t that strict but I do manage to behave myself
To be honest, I feel the same. My stepfather is not so stricted but my mom, she really is. She thinks her way is the best, she jugdes me how I am dressed, how I do stuff, she still argues with my stepdad that really irritates me and I becoming more rebelious toward her. I love her but, her strict rules and behaviour really annoys. And how many times scared me or threatened me to send my back to Poland is, out of mind.
I really did get called out in this one
I know you might not find this, but thank you for your work. I have learned to let go of toxic relationships because of your channel and i’ve learned to recognize them too
🇯🇲thank you for all you guys do. Big up. In jamaica we dont talk about this stuff; especially when not talking is contributing to our crime rate.
I hate to think of my parents that way but... damn do some of these really hit hard.
-I'm very happy to no longer be totally under their control but at the same time, I end up being extremely unproductive without the kind of formal structure I grew up with.
-I sometimes rebelled against the strict (and probably unnecessary) video game rules my parents set for me (I don't really rebel against anything these days, but I have learned to really think for myself)
-I'm really paranoid and overly sensitive to criticism partly because of how many different things my parents decided to punish me and make me feel bad for
-I'm autistic. I couldn't make friends in school because I couldn't socialize the same way non-autistics do, thus I usually kept quiet because I knew it would be better to be ignored than to be bullied for my social awkwardness - which I was very heavily bullied for at one point when I did actually put in the effort to befriend someone. Yet for so many years my parents would insist that I "wasn't trying hard enough" to make friends with kids who clearly didn't accept people like me. I was so afraid to tell my parents about about the bullying I faced in middle school because I was worried they'd blame me and make me feel ashamed for not being able to make friends like they always did in the past. This was the start of the self-worth issues I deal with to this day
I really don't want to make my parents out to be anything more than moderately authoritative, but some things really did push the line now that I look back on it. Since I'm an adult they're very lenient now, which I am so relieved about
I am The Rules. When i went out into the world it was almost a culture shock to make my own decisions. I was scared af to say or do ANYTHING. For 2 years being on my own i had to learn to break away from being fearful of uncertainty and ambiguous answers. Being exposed helped me a lot to get over it quickly. Now im not afraid to ask questions when im confused.
I've had the same thing. I definitely feel uncomfortable outside of specific settings too because I don't know the "rules." I wish the video gave some advice on where to go from here
I was a helicopter parent to my only child but not at all harsh or a disciplinarian. As a stay at home Dad who volunteered at school more than any other parent I know I knew what was going on with my daughter as well as her friends and classmates. I did set high expectations but I also told her as long as she did her best I would never criticize the outcome. My daughter is a new mother to her own little girl now and she asked me to be just as involved in her life as I was her moms and I can’t wait!
I'm starting to feel as if there was some major shift in my childhood that went from one end to the other. Or, maybe some of the strictness was arbitrary. I was comforting myself this morning about some of these and other behaviors, and one of the things I said to myself was that my childhood didn't make any sense. It never really did, and I tried my best to give meaning and reason to it, but at the end of the day, I just have me. I remember both being locked in the house for days on end, not being allowed to go outside, and I also remember a time when I got locked out of the house and forced to stay outside. Had I not been so afraid, I may have given in and started breaking windows, because I was so angry. It's weird how I remember having ultimate, envious amounts of freedom, but I also remember moments of arbitrary fear and restrictions. Of strict adherence to the rules and only really being comfortable at school and work, but also a complete lack of self discipline and meaningful structure. I guess days were more like weeks when we were kids, and a year used to last a lot longer when every day was a larger part of our life. A day seems to mean so little now, but I remember as a child they felt like they would never end, and a year as a 7-12 year old felt more like a 5 year stretch now, and every day had so much more meaning and impact and trying to remember each and every one is an undertaking, and allowing myself to accept that 3 months as a child was enough to really affect me while as an adult it's like wind howling at a mountain of experience, just with lots of blizzards
This is so crazy. As an adult I’m realizing a lot of things now that I go to counseling. My mom is a major helicopter mom even to this day and I’m 33. I had a suicide attempt 5 years ago and I do feel like some of it stems back to her making me feel like I have to be what she wants and I’m always at the mercy of what she wants me to be.
I def grew up with this. Could say i woke up to it at about 9 or 10. Bear with me, but it was finding out Santa and all that wasn’t real. The part that made me so angry was that I’d been taught not to lie, yet was lied to about this. I’m now going to be 28 in June and live in an apartment with my partner. I’m often still lost with being able to do whatever. I actually sleep better now and I’m a lot more relaxed. I still have a lot of tendencies from coming from an abusive household, mostly if not only from my mom. I’ve had my life threatened twice as a 20 year old. I swore to myself if it happened again, I’d call the police. Even my coworkers have noticed I’m a lot happier now. It’s nice but still weird having my own freedom. Not really anything about moving out has come as a shock, other than the freedom that I’ve been craving so long. Later this year, I plan on talking to my doctor about my mental health. Maybe even get some therapy, we’ll see
I watched this to check my parenting style....but ended up learning that I display ALL of these side effects (yes, I grew up with a super strict parent). Time for another round of self development.
HELICOPTER HELICOPTER
this hits way too close to home
I wish I could try to learn how to fly on my own tho but I have health issues that are overseen by my mom due tto me not being able to walk very well
hopefully I am able to roam free like a bird soon
While I do recognize myself in traits 1 to 4 and 6 in some measure, I do not think that it's because of my parents. They are oblivious to it (even now), yet I set those high self-expectations on my own because I isolated myself willingly.
At the end of the day, I still think that you can decide to be whoever you want. At the end of the day, there is no "Who you are." It's always your choice to be the kind of person you are, even if your aren't aware of it.
I guess your worst ennemy is always going to be yourself. B/
Same, i show all signs, but my parents aren't strict at all, im way stricter with myself, and im putting on myself tons of pressure (which caused some mental problems) i didnt understood why i show all signs till you mentioned it, which does make sense
I had a helicopter sister. She was also a bully, but we also have older brothers and they were bullies to her and she would speak up to them,but they wouldn't listen to her so she took it out on me. So, I kind of understood where she was coming from so I didn't care that much how she treated me because it wasn't exactly her fault, but I felt like I should have stood up to her and them at leas5 every once in awhile, but I didn't. So they grew up to be bullies.
Your siblings need to go straight to Hell . Sorry , but that is my honest opinion.
@@ericdurish1254 yeah, you're not the first person to say that to me about them.
The fact that I was grown up in a overprotective childhood, it's not easy for me for telling everything how I feel, cause they were born in a different generation and they say that insecurities or anxiety are just Nonsense. I couldn't go out with friends, while I was on secondary school, cause my parents were critical about me socializing with them and my friends didn't want to deal w that. As a result, I still didn't learned completely how to set up my own boundaries, some important life lessons and how to say no. I couldn't go out with my friends, till I was at the age of 18.
Most of the things related to me expect drugs then, but it scares me to grow up, it's like if every path I have to chose can kill me. I never found anyone write about this thing, and it makes me feel even more anxious.
I’ve never felt that my parents were strict, but strangely, I relate to most of these (don’t worry guys I’m nowhere near depressed I’m the feral funny gremlin in school)
It hits really weird because me and my parents are really close. We talk, we laugh and we spend time together bonding and I’m almost certain we have a healthy relationship, so I’m not sure what happened for me to feel this way. Any advice??
I feel like i kinda know what you mean, I have strict but not too strict parents but we still get along pretty well, especially me and my dad. I have no idea why I am so sad and negative and keep judging myself. I just get worse and worse socially too (which seems a little different from you though) and I have no idea why, I just suddenly seem to not be able to make many new friends, but those really good ones I have, I’d do anything for.
I understand you and it´s exactly the feeling I have right now... I think, and this is what I do most of the time, you should go your own way:
1 Don´t scream your toughts out loud in a discussion about the rules, because that will make it worse and your parents will be madder, and perhaps the rules even stronger
2 Think about the rules they have, why they are there, what you would change later and why
-You'll get a deeper understanding of why these rules are there, but ofc I know there are rules that are just useless :|
3 Build your own way inside
-What I mean by this is make a whole world yourself from the inside like you want it to be, this helps with escaping from sadness about rules (idk if this really works, it just yeeted through my head)
and, lastly
4 If you think a rule is too strict, talk about it with your parents
-talk about why they have this rule and why it needs to be so strict. BUT: !warning! don't get mad, angry or whatever because this will be a sign to your parents to make the rule even STRICTER
Sorry for the long tekst, but I hoped it helped :)
Hdkxoepnshfiek thanks guys 💖
(Seriously tho, they better give us our plain pink heart emoji soon 🤣)
Same here
Same, but i guess that im the strict one, because i am very critical with myself
Most notable sign:
The song Helikopter Helikopter starts playing in the background whenever they appear.
Sign number 1#:They buy a suspiciously high amount of kerosene and when you ask them why do they do that,they are programed to say "Go clean your room" or "Go do your homework"
This disribes me so much my moms strict an plus my past of my father dying an me getting beat by stepdad I just feel numb an I only feel happy when people get hurt in my family but when it’s my friends I feel remorseful
You’re telling me my parents are HELICOPTERS??
I have helicopter parents, and I hate it, I lost my life because of them, there's nothing I can do, they own my soul, there's nothing I can do.
Damn, this video hit me harder than expected.A lot of things happened in my childhood, including some "raising technics", causing the deepseedet mental health issues I've been dealing with, for almost as long as I can remember.
I'll be fine, I by now learned through a lot of therapy some ways how to cope with mental toll, but this video setting me back a bit speaks to its quality.
The talked about effects are very real and I'm really happy you made this video, making me feeling understood.
Thank you ^^ ♥️
The family is the reason, the first thing that builds the personality of the individual. You may see a person who succeeded in his life only because his family was like a shelter for him, but you can see the same person who took a different path and entered into crime, fanaticism and anger only because of his family.
I enjoyd your comment but mind explaining your profile picture it has a . You propobly already know flag on it. (Nothin Personal btw)
@@beagrothus7916 No, it's just a picture, I know what it means, but frankly, I find it beautiful... But it's funny to know that this picture has a direct relationship to the video. You can only imagine if the father of the Nazi leader Adolf Hitler treated him well, we wouldn't have known such a thing as Nazism. See how abuse has changed the world
Grew up in a home where my Mother would constantly beat me, mock me or psychologically insult me while giving praise to my brother all the time who (only during school, not anymore...) academically did well.
While everyone was crying at Uni when their parents were saying bye for the first day they left them, I was so excited and so happy.
I never moved back home, and never want to again - my hometown feels like a shit place and I hate it whenever I have to go back.
sign 1: they are helicopters
sign 2: they can fly
*"HELICOPTER, HELICOPTER-"*
When I became a parent, I knew that structure was only necessary for safety, so that my child would be able to explore the world around them. He has hobbies I don't understand, but I support them. Next, he's getting a pet that he's old enough to care for, with support from me, even though most would consider it "creepy"
1,2,3,4,5,6! And this is why you are my comfort youtuber🙂 I got all of them🙁
Can you make a video on the effects of unhealthy parenting methods. Because due to my parents and school trauma as a child and being spanked and punished even if it wasn’t my fault has caused me to become detached from life.
I no longer want to go out, I no longer want to go to school. I get bored easily and don’t want to see family often and when I do I can’t stop thinking about home. My defense for myself is not doing anything more than what’s asked because if I try I might move something or do something that makes them upset. I’m constantly apologizing for little things and am not comfortable sharing even the smallest of feelings. Sometimes I lay in bed for hours and hours staring at my phone because I don’t want to deal with the responsibility and expectations. I feel alone a lot. I’m always tired, I have no motivation I feel happy passing with a B- but my parents patronize me about it. I play on my computer for hours and hours and only have fun when I have a friend. But by myself I’m detached and I always have the feeling wanting to socialize but also wanting to be alone all the time.
Both my parents are helicopter parents in their own ways.
Reflect on your life right now. Do you have enough alone time? Not loneliness, but solitude… spending quality time with yourself like you would with a best friend.
Breathe in and assess the balance of time for yourself versus the time you give to others. Everyone will have a different balance. The question is - does yours match up in a way that feels right to you?
I never share any problems with my parents lol
Helicopter Helicopter
Paracofer Paracofer
I grew up with so much criticism that I became very shy and rarely raised my hand in school, and dreaded having the teacher call on me. Then, when I was a teen, my father criticized me for not being more social! Can't win.
Title: signs you have helicopter parents
My brain: * suddenly plays the helicopter meme *
I definitely feel that way!! I still do and I'm almost 46.
48 here, same
Makes sense. I absolutely hate rules and it’s cuz of my mom.
i have the inner critic, the rules thing and the sadness 😢
That’s how a broken villain was made 🙌🏻
I can relate to number 1, and number 2, as an adult.
Can you guys make an episode about tourettes/types of tics cause I'm curious since I think I have something called "simple motor tic" and I just wanna learn more:')
I think my parents are a pair of AH-64D Apache Longbow attack helicopter, everytime I asked for a bit more freedom in my life they just responded with a 30mm gatling cannon fire and several volleys of AGM-114K Hellfire missiles
sign 1: they T-pose
sign 2: they spin
sign 3: *HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER*
who else had parents that would control the order in which you ate your food but didn't teach you how to do taxes because they were too busy being controlling that caring
Why are all of these exactly what is happening to me.
I almost cried watching this cuz even Psych2Go knows that we’re suffering than our parents do 😓
I preferred the Villager News Helicopter!
1:50 this- It was my best friend who taught me I had to losen up learn to make mistakes and actually be true to myself without caring what others think. without realizing I was being let down because of my past trauma- and cousins excelling in school(excelling as in honors, gifted, and specialized high schools qualified for IVE League) (i do well but my mom tries to take ALL of the credit….) ….
I’m in the middle of watching this and my dad comes out of his office (I’m sitting at the kitchen counter because if I’m in my room I’m supposedly “hiding something from them”), makes a beeline from the fridge to me, looks over my shoulder, says in the most condescending tone “what the hell you’re always on your phone” (which isn’t true I’m usually writing, reading, playing my instruments, or at work), and he has the audacity to reach over and TURN OFF MY PHONE, chuckle, and leave.
Keep in mind I’m 18 years old, my parents keeping me home for my second year of college and want me to commute to school so I haven’t had a break from them😭.
You wanna know what's funny. Parents become so overprotective that they end up being the most dangerous people in our lives. They are not different from strangers. We do not want to trust them and be close them. We don't want to be around them. Some parents protect their ego more than their kids from them.
They put their feelings and emotions above yours and make your feelings and emotions invalid even when it comes to how they make you feel as a teen. They expect you to live important aspects of your life by how they feel. Like their feelings and emotions are more important than yours all the time. They want you to be a slave to them just because you're a teen because that's what they believe teens were meant to be treated. I thought my Mom learned that slavery was bad when our race was facing it for years, but I'm still seeing her treating me like a slave making me go against the things that I want to achieve all because she can't control her emotions. She don't ever listen to me, and she forgets that I want respect. She doesn't care about letting me trust my self for shit. She got in the way of my horror story for no reason. She thinks that she's protecting me when really she's just showing how much she doesn't trust herself that she taught me right from wrong. She be saying "You may become violent from it or change from it" when not all teens are affected by violence and horror, but of course, parents don't care about listening to us just because of our fucking age.🙄I blame investigated discovery and crime shows for this. Also she gets in the way of my dream as a CZcamsr. Like why?! She thinks I won't be safe being one. She's afraid of me becoming famous and people finding us, but there's no need to be that overprotective when you just ban this from me all together. This isn't teaching me to be wise. This is just teaching me to be a coward of taking risk and following wishes that I have with my own life. Life is too short to be a slave to my Mom's feelings and emotions. I don't want to go through this world not becoming things that I wanna become because of her. If I'm seeing kids younger than me living their lives as Gaming CZcamsrs and Musicians with no danger, then it's not impossible for me to be safe on here.
She makes decisions out of fear, and it causes her to do cruel, low down, and unfair actions and uses force all the time instead of taking the chance to understand me. I'm 19, and I've been through a lot of shit with her. I don't know if God meant for me to go through this, but I'm against her being this way to me because this is not how I want to remember my young life. She shows no remorse for treating me this way which makes this even worse. Like here I am giving my free love to you, and this is the bullshit I get in return. You do realize that the only reason that kids that are going through this are saying that they love you is because they have the fear of going to hell right. The only reason kids are loving their parents today is because of the bible and out of fear of going to hell, and that's sad. Just because it says to "honor your father and mother" doesn't mean you get to treat your kids like slaves. They don't care about taking accountability for the wrongs that they do neither. They just manipulate you into putting up with their bullshit by making you think you're wrong by standing up against it. The worst thing about this is that they wait too late to make things right with their kids. These are the parents we are forced to love and support by the bible. Selfish, emotionally immature, manipulative, careless, overprotective, overcontrolling parents that don't care about how they make us feel as human beings. These are the parents that are responsible for a teen's emotional suppression.
They force us to tell the truth about everything except about them as parents and call this disrespect all because they can't handle the truth about them. They want us to care about their feelings and emotions when they don't even care about ours. I'm suppose to care about how I make them feel when they are treating me like this. When I'm facing depression because of my Mom, sparring her emotions is the last thing that's on my mind. I want to shatter her heart to pieces at this point because she be the main one saying that she love me when she doesn't care about truly showing it. She don't care about putting in the true effort to maintain a relationship with me. She just cares about forcing a relationship with me. She forces me to be close to her instead of making me want to. She asks "Are you depressed" when she gets in the way of the wishes that I have with my own life. What pisses me off is that she forces me to think that how she's treating me is ok. I have every right to feel how I feel. Always making struggling a contest "You have no right to be depressed because you have no bills to pay" Do they ever think about themselves as the reason why I'm depressed? No, they don't.
There's a difference between parents that think they know how to love you and have a true relationship with you when in reality they don't vs. parents that actually care about knowing how to make a relationship with you or know how to. This is the worst generation of parents we've ever had in our lives. They make it hell for us alive, yet they expect us to support them when they are dead.
Wow ! You are right !
I can relate to those feelings of uselessness, loss, anger, lying...and then some. The feeling of being a prisoner trapped inside a snow globe.
Ahhh, that serene, beautiful and "choice" voice! 😇
I feel I had decently controlling parents. I would always hide away in my room if anything was going south. I've had things taken away from me because of my grades, including my guitar. In school, I was just absolutely crazy and wild because i just wanted people to spend time with me. I'm 26 now. I'm at work thinking I'm constantly being hyper-monitored, and I go home thinking [knowing] people look down on me like im not doing enough. It's just a hole that I can't seem to climb out of
Was just waiting for this
I can definitely relate to this.
Sign 1: Rotating blades
Telling people how I am always ends in my parents angery
The thing is my parents don’t give any punishments. They are just not assertive whatsoever. My mom is completely passive while loving and unassertive. My dad is snarky, complex, unassertive and just so normal and non-thinking
I really like the new style of the people its like an evolucion which is nice also thank you ive been seeing this channel 2 months and i know thing such as fake friends toxic parents etc. Thank you!
“Mothers gonna make all of your nightmares come true. Mothers gonna put all of her fears into you. Mothers gonna keep you right here under her wing. She won’t let you fly but she might let you sing.”
Jeez, this hit me right in the feels. My mother is by no means cold or unloving, (thankfully) but she was strict about certain things to protect me. While alot of the time those things protected me, I realized over time that I had a very strong pang of guilt/weakness when it came to criticism. My mom has emotional issues and she takes medication for them. But as for me, I've had an illness similar to fibromyalgia since I was about 9. So I confuse wether it's because I'm sick all the time, or because of my mom.
Don't get me wrong, my mother is the most loving person I know. It's just she ended up making some mistakes because of taking wrong medications at times.
I was extremely depressed in elementary school... I never knew why...
Honestly this feels like me that my parents are helicopter ing me a lot. I feel so sad and depressed. Omg I felt completely the same the way u explained it. Idk what to do. Thank you showing the video
My parents don't really care if i make a mistake, but more likely my classmates do, like you make 1 teeny tiny mistake and you get sent to hell. Quite literally
…actually my parents do care about the mistakes- they kept telling me I would not graduate on time even said I am only graduating becaus eonfthe school system… i was heartbroken… bursted into crying during lunch- felt like all I did was not worth at all-
It’s completely right I’m good at lying. People never caught me lying because it sounds make sense
*Off topic but the first thing that came to my mind when I read the title was "🚁HeLiCoPtEr HeLiCoPtErrrrr🗿" 😭*
I do get bored every once in awhile even when I do things like watching this video, and thinking about my upbringing just makes me cry... 🥹
My parents have had one hell of a life. Im experiencing the back lash because of it, they mean all well and good but some times im ready to exploed
I noticed most of these signs from my parents. Especially if I make one mistake, they get on my case. Or I did not do anything good enough, I’m a mess. But they have to realize too we’re human at the end of the day. There has to be a balance of strict and non-strict conditions. That’s how I see it.
NOOOO PLS STOP CALLING mE out like this
i really can't function without rules to go around to
and i bully myself for every little imperfection, only because my parents realised i can do so far better and now they want even more of it
...or it's probably my brain again that has accepted that fate
i really can't tell between real and fake anymore
I thought my parents were fine, but all the points match....
I honestly formed my own inner-critic, causing me to have terrible depression. I have had these since I was little. 😀
Can we talk about how two different parent types can mess up a kid?
I have an absentee father and over-protective mother. My dad never took the time to pay attention to me unless it was annoyance or throwing a new game at me (metaphorically) to shoe me away.
My mother always did everything for me. As I aged up my freedoms didn't grow with me. I didn't even know how to spread peanut butter on bread till 11.
I'm 23 and totally unprepared to live on my own. I'm barely able to use an oven on simple box foods these days.
I also have a crippling fear of driving at least partiality born from my mother commenting on how my dad's driving is reckless, and me experiencing this 1st hand on his few times doing things with me.
I'm an adult that is developmentally behind by several years.
"Parents" are just a temporary home. Sometimes, and I learned this they need to be shedded like an old skin because you outgrow and out live them inevitably.
4:33, why do i see among us on that pillow, sussy pillow lol.
I thought im a helicopter parent cuz my partner calls me that. Im just scared of them being hurt, damaged and me not being there to protect my kids. Outside world is terrifying.
2:18... seems relatable
2:21 Omfg this hit so hard.....
Sign 1.) They have spinning fan behind their back.