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ParanoidFellow
Registrace 22. 05. 2008
Official CBS site has all the monologues from August 2005 to right now available. If you, like me, don't want easy ways and have way too much time on your hands - go and find them, they're all there:
www.cbs.com/latenight/latelate
If you're more of a "common sense" type of person, click on the website, listed below.
If you're just generally lazy - sit back and enjoy, i'll be posting some that i liked here.
www.cbs.com/latenight/latelate
If you're more of a "common sense" type of person, click on the website, listed below.
If you're just generally lazy - sit back and enjoy, i'll be posting some that i liked here.
I could never finish listening to this monologue cause the audience is beyond D@MB!!? Only in show biz they always manage to find the dumbest examples of humanity, generally, in front of and behind the camera. Amazing he didn't start drinking again after this.
1:58 iooo
this man helped me alot during hard times.
I was in rehab for prescription pill abuse. Since it was on the way, my sister used to always go to her pot dealer before visiting. She'd get there high as a kite, even the staff would joke about replacing me with her, except to them it was funny, for me stuck at rehab I was desperatly wishing it became true 😂
1:46 He was not kidding at all. He literally was.
We were like the set up to a joke all we had to do was walk into a bar but we couldn't walk into a bar!
Looool I got community service in San Diego
<3
I love all the sober comments! 457 days!
Although Brosnan was my favorite bond when I got to be a fan of bond, this made me laugh my guts off!!
Britania? Isn't it still called BAFTA? Have they renamed it while I wasn't looking 🤔🤨
You wanna know how you know, as a comedian, that you have a well-earned reputation for being spontaneously hilarious? That you can turn any kind of fuck-up into a joke that WORKS? At 5:51, as a result of a glitch in this video transfer, the frame freezes and then distorts just as Craig is telling us his Mother is not a very good painter. For a SPLIT SECOND, I actually half-expected him to say, "She painted these frames of ME, after all!" 😆
«Graigywood!» «I might have it right now!»
I am now 4 months sober, over 20 years of drinking alcohol every day got to my health, had to stop.
Hi Craig, when I was about 14 years old, 10 years before you made this monologue, and about 25 years ago from today, I was looking to buy my first dirt bike. I met a guy online and we became chat buddies, and he really sold me this bike. We talked about it for months, it seemed. When he came to drop it off, it had the number 45 on it. Please keep in mind, this story is not a metaphor, although I know people like to speak in metaphors. No, I actually bought a physical motorcycle at that time. That was my personal experience. This is one story of many that I have of this nature over the course of my life. Saying all this is to say, that I feel that I was specifically set up to play this role I am playing, by outside forces, without my knowledge. So while I appreciate what you're saying,and it is all a good cause, on the other hand, it seems like no one is questioning this other side to the story. I know it's hard to relate, but as a result of all these operations, I have experienced severe derealization, not necessarily entirely because of my "personal issues", although occums razor and common sense might suggest, but because of the Truman Show esque aspect and endless guidance and manipulation over the course of my life. It has occurred to me that this narrative is a great cover story because it appeals to emotion so strongly- how could I refuse "my destiny from above" when the cause is so just? Do you see the conflict there? Hope this helps
What a storyteller!
first marathon I ran was the SF marathon finish line at the embarcadero, all of the prettiest, happiest people all around you i fkng cried, your body is so exhausted you have zero control over your emotions haha
"You knew you were well," is a very is a good deed. I do wonder, though, whatever happened to the Church of Scientology?
The only late night host I sincerely miss. All the others were shite compared to Craig.
Craig's monologue after Brittany Spears hair cutting episode was very moving. czcams.com/video/7ZVWIELHQQY/video.html
Man the audience’s reactions during these more heart-felt monologues really rub me the wrong way. I get that people are expecting jokes/to laugh at a late night talk show but let the actual thoughts breathe, people
o I am a happy gay cleaner, I enjoy my job, ahy, diced carrots again
"Have you noticed by the way that drug dealers are the only people in America who've embraced the metric system, why is that?" LMAO!!!!!!
czcams.com/video/wenqHqoSDKk/video.html Another taste of Scotland. Seems like the thing to listen to after hearing Craig talk about pirates and Robert Lewis Stevenson.
This was October 16, 2007 :)
the bit about metrosexuals / ubersexuals is just the early 2000s version of alpha / sigma male shit
There's a lot of consternation about what socially responsible comedy looks like: how does one be funny without being a bully? This is a masterclass and it even long predates "power" and "punching up/punching down" entering the lexicon.
Hahahahahahah 😂😂😂😂 9 years in Jan. Best life!
Oooo88oììioo8ooooooo88ooooooo
Are there any videos of him drunk
Best way. Be 25 years old.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏🦁🧬🌈👑✝️
🤣👏🤣🦁🧬🌈👑👏👏👏👏👏✝️
🤣👏🦁🧬👑🌈
🤣👏
My man ❤️
Finishes with "What you need are giant underpants" and it finishes with the "Worldwide Pants" logo.
I pretty much cried when he said “Good luck, Courtney” because it was so sincere. A lot of people look down on you, think they can make jokes about you if your an addict, especially if you’re a celebrity and I am sick of seeing that still happening today. People need to know more about addiction, seriously….
I appreciate your words on this. I'm not an addict but am condemned as one, as I'm disabled and have to take opioids for a bone disease. It's absolutely disgusting that so many people are brushed off as "addicts" and left to suffer They're not addicts, they're people with addictions, and even just getting a small perspective on the stigma against people with addictions breaks my heart ❤️
A lot of that, I believe, comes from the part that media plays in only putting forth the stories of "the addicts" without telling you that these are specifically the people who walked into doing drugs or getting hooked on them with their eyes wide open and made a choice. (Lest I be thought judgmental, let's remember that this is the 21st century - 99% of the people out there have had it drummed into their heads since they were kids that drugs are dangerous/addicting/not good for you. It's not like this is a new thing) That being said, that's a totally different thing than someone who became hooked on a medication or who has to take medications because of a medical condition or the like. The sad part is that most people can't be bothered to do anything but paint "addicts" with that very large brush and just write them all off as being the same.
I may be a year late but I will say that I don''t know how much people may make fun of "addicts" or "addiction" as much as they make fun of the over the top antics of people like Courtney Love who live their life in the public eye, acting in violent and outlandish ways all while seeming - seeming being the operative word - to enjoy pumping whatever they do into their veins and not caring who gets hurt by it. Granted - there are people (I know a few) to whom anyone who does any kind of drug is an "addict" and deserves whatever they get because "it was their choice." Of course, most of these people are blackout drunks or smoke weed until they can't see straight, but that's a different thing altogether, according to them. A lot of it also depends on who it is, too - Courtney Love? She's a worthless addict, crazy nutcase. Robin Williams? Oh, he's a beloved comedian, the greatest of all time that everyone loves and cherishes and is so sad that he's gone - while conveniently overlooking his multiple stints with alcoholism, rampant drug use, etc, etc. She's an easy target - and people are very selective with their compassion, it seems. In her case, forever being connected to Kurt Cobain and him chewing on the end of a shotgun probably didn't do wonders for her psyche, either. :(
There were pirates following that cake 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Craig did a great job here explaining his position on alcoholism. It was of course interjected with humor. To this day, I still believe the Brittany Spears incidents were deliberate publicity stunts, to boost her fame. It had little to do with alcoholism?. Just a young woman seeking fame in risque situations. Craig may have been sincere, however if he was, he got played some?. In the end Craig read a script from CBS. I admire him for his knowledge of the rehabilitative process. Very important. The stigma attached to alcoholism runs very deep, and should never be taken lightly or on a network celebrity show. Society will always show prejudice, in ignorance, of this chronic disease. Why?. Because over half of the world's population is caught in it's trap!. Bravo Mr. Ferguson for the effort. Some of us knew what what you meant?. Knowledge isn't always power among pogues!. God Bless
Britney was already one of the most famous people around. I highly doubt she needed to fake incidents. Everything that happened around that time led to her father gaining control of her finances (which has been a recent battle for her)
She is a multi multi millionaire, and STILL a mess 🤷♂️
How many times have I watched this??? Maybe half dozen times...??? How many times has this inspired me to check myself into rehab??? Every time. How many Times have I got sober or went to get help??? 0 times
Take it from me. 4.8.2003. Everyone wants help. You will get help when you decide you NEED help and can't go on without it. And not one minute before that. You are my prayer tonight.
They have us drunks going and coming.
All of a sudden not so funny 😐
No anonymity in Hollywood
Corey Hart sang "Sunglasses At Night" :)
LOL I'm glad he included us Canadians in his anti-Metric rant heh heh heh!
5:17 Shout out to Windows
7163 days Clean today.
13 years and no comments... hello, abyss.
hello emma
im feeling sick so felt this may help.
Need to listen more of what i suffer from. 👍