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The "Never Again Relationship". I feel ya' on that. Been there, got the T-shirt!

Felt

I totally feel like I am a npc in a game where someone else is the main character. I’m not important, whether or not I’m happy isn’t important, whether or not I’m alive isn’t important, because this isn’t my game, the world is others, it’s never mine.

i was heavily advised towards nursing growing up and that’s what i thought i wanted for a long time. i got my cna license right after graduating high school and went to community college for my A.A. in nursing where i ended up with 5 classes my first semester. ugh it was much more than i could chew and plus i was working 40hrs/week (not smart!). my mental began to decline and i just felt extremely overwhelmed and with other things happening, i ended up burning out at 19 too! it took time for me to find my desired major but i finally figured it out and went back to school at 21 for psychology. i was able to finish in a year and now im off to uni at 22 for my bachelors and im soo nervous/excited to go, im living on campus and this will be my first time at uni life. i honestly appreciate school more and take my classes very seriously and i think that comes with being older and knowing myself more. i get to pick courses that feel right to me and now i apply myself to the fullest. also it feels right to start uni more matured than the traditional way since it’s such a big decision and commitment!

Not only does life feel like unpaid labor when you have no purpose, goals, or aspirations, but when the simple pleasures in daily life and the opportunity to just vibe comfortably still don’t feel like a fair exchange for the amount of work you put into keeping yourself alive every day, life truly does feel completely and utterly forced upon you.

Right now I got no aspirations or visions

Have you had any experience with an Asian guy?

I'm black, queer, have complex trauma and potentially ND. I love and appreciate the content you put out

Everything you've said in this video is just spot on. Like yourself, i thought I could save my ex, I thought I could fix him. I had to realize it was a generation of narcissistic traits passed down from previous generations. Fortunately for you, you are done but I have to deal with mines..

뭔가 하고싶은게 있어도 자꾸 현실에 부딪히니까 결국 포기하게 되고, 아무것도 하지 않고싶다. 대학에 가는게 맞을까 취업도 안 되는데

I went through the same thing for almost 5 years girl & finally ended the relationship for good 😩 Hope you’re doing well🫶🏽

Sometimes I think the CZcams algorithm can read my mind because I know this video was posted like a year and a half ago…but I was literally just thinking yesterday that the discourse surrounding autism reminds me so much of the discourse around abuse/SA/the “me too” movement. So many people want to claim people (aka women…) are making things up, exaggerating, doing it for attention, and just want to be perpetual victims and blame everyone else for their problems. All while ignoring the real issues at hand. Like yeah there may be a few people that lie about these things, but the vast majority of people are just speaking their truth and no one wants to hear it because that would mean there are huge problems in our society we have to address. So they’d rather focus on the 1% of people lying for social media clout or whatever reason than the 99% of people who are actually genuinely deeply hurting and struggling with these very real issues. I am 32F and just recently got diagnosed with autism and adhd and I’m so sick of people dismissing me and telling me “oh everyone struggles with things like that, we’re all on the spectrum” or “you’re just hopping on a trend you’re hopping on because you’d rather have an excuse and something to blame for where you are in life.” Like I had been told by several doctors and therapists for 20 years it was “just social anxiety and depression” yet no medication or therapy has ever worked for me and I just thought I was broken and bad at being a human. So I’m glad autism is “trending” because now I know what is actually going on with me for the first time in my life. I certainly didn’t pay thousands of dollars to get diagnosed for fun or for attention. I only told a few people and quickly regretted it due to their reactions. The only reason I got formally diagnosed is because I need work accommodations in order to survive and I will be paying off this debt for a while. Unfortunately I just hit a breaking point and could no longer continue on with my life as I had been. So for my own family to say “oh everyone is a little autistic these days it’s so over diagnosed” makes me feel more isolated than I already did. It’s crazy to me people will just speak on something they know nothing about rather than take the time to listen to me or any other autistic people about our experiences. So far only one friend reacted well and was completely non judgmental and just asked me about my experience and how I felt about it and was very supportive. I wish everyone would be open minded like that instead of being too uncomfortable to even discuss it or believe it’s a real thing. Anyways sorry for the rant but I just have so many feelings about this, so thank you for making this video and sharing your perspective. I hope one day more and more people will gradually start listening and educating themselves about autism with the help of people like you speaking out. ❤

We have reached peak of innovation and ecosystem revolution so it is super hard to find a goal or thing to pursuit.

Shrooms gave you a bad trip and made you realize you should be more empathetic towards a narcissist??? And you got pregnant??? Dude! I was in a phase of my life where everyone was talking about shrooms like i should try it for the first time & that i will have spiritual awakening & it will wake me up to realizations in my life. Maybe i shouldn’t take shrooms!! Sounds like a bad idea. I’m grateful i was not exposed to drugs. I got exposed to cigarettes & weed but that’s all i’ve tried thus far and alcohol & thankfully i am not addicted. I just like it from time to time. I’m not dependent on them.

I rarely got comments on my nudes. I got the silent treatment often & when i questioned him why he stopped taking me out & why he would ignore me for weeks at a time. Andhe would arguewith me A LOT and say I didn’t care about HIM. He would not let me break up with him a lot of the time. He would cheat on me & ghost me. Break up with me on text message & find me a year later in person & ask for me back. It turned into a fuck buddy relationship. And he would complain if i ever asked for anything. I was mainly only allowed to ask for food or sex. Fuck buddy relationship. He would always keep a texting relationship with me & he never had our relationship in person. He had rage attacks every now and then. He could not see my perspective at all. I had bad examplesof love growing up. Both my parents were narcissists and alcoholics. They made my brother narcissistic.

first .56 .......everything you have said I immediately know and in my head im screaming TWINNNNN

Wow this video is so short but so meaningful! Like a music videoclip. Enjoyed it! Me too, I don't have aspirations or dreams (well, I have something that interest me, but when I imagine the path to it, I always doubt and ask myself, is it really something worthy considering all the effort, struggles and time dedicated to achievement of it). And, I enjoy mediocre moments of my mundane life. And honestly, I don't mind if I end up 'miserable' by society standards with no career or no status. Genuinely, I want to end up in a peaceful state of mind and in a quite place. I really don't understand people chasing their ambitions, where do they find motivation and energy to stress so much and for what?

I think you should look into PMDD, if you are having 2 good weeks and 2 bad weeks. The mood swings may be it related to your menstrual cycle specifically the luteal phase. That estrogen drop after ovulation is the worst and can be super debilitating. I was just prescribed estrogen during that 10 day period and its a miracle in a bottle.

i just remembered you from 2018 and spent an hour trying to find this channel 😭💞

I have no goals too, but I'm content with life, I enjoy the small things

I don’t go for skin tone, I go for hair type and facial structure. Judging my those standards idk how people think you are mixed. You have a broad nose, big lips, rounded face, no eyebrow ridge, and no defined jawline, with most likely 4C hair.

I absolutely love every second of this video

I’m so lost right now. I’m a 19yo college student and to tell you the truth, I don’t know where I’m heading. I don’t have a passion or a particular skill, I have a hard time with my studies, I just want to live a comfortable happy life and make my mom proud somehow, spoil her and give her a worry free life. But I don’t know how to get there. I want to travel, I want to try new foods, go sky diving, I want to buy a house someday with a partner. But I don’t know what to do.. all I do is imagine these scenarios and drift to dreamland whenever I feel depressed about pitiful me… I’ll come back if anything changes/find a passion.

thank god I found your video I am in such a similar place to you, currently 24 and just signed back up for school and I am too going back for film and media and let me tell you I was sooo scared for a while to just choose the major and like commit but I truly do believe we are ready to go back now, its OUR choice now, love your video thank youuuuuuuu

Im here rn @ 26 just wondering how life is passing me by and still don’t have anything going for myself and it saddens me everyday cause I feel so useless

I’m lost

Thank you

Sounds like a Rue monologue from Euphoria😂. Anyway, I hope for the best for you.

Sex outside of marriage is sin. God created sex for husbands and wifes only. Sex outside of marriage leads to a lot of consequences such as STD's, unwanted pregnancies, soul ties, etc.

Oooh girl!! They do not like boundaries and they talk about the future right away…

Also my ex wanted to move in with me less than a year and he wanted to get married.

Wow this sounds like my experience He always talked about his ex’s multiple. Comparing me to them. It’s. NOT. Okay to do comparison. When I opened up about things, he never emphasized. Narrow minded. I felt like he was always causing problems and didn’t come up with solutions either .. I was the fixer and the solution oriented person.. so exhausting

Most relevant/favorite video I’ve ever viewed. Thanks ❤

Everyone acting here like nobody has any passions. There are a lot of people knowing EXACTLY what to do in live. Its all your own fault

Ima cancer man and i agree... be afraid.. be very afraid..

I'm attracted to lighter skin women why can't you women accept the truth dark skin is unattractive and society will keep reminding you that until you have it drilled in your head.

I think the main issue really, it’s the interpretation of “self diagnosing”

I used to think I had dreams for my future, but now I think I’m realizing the reason I tried so hard was for my parents. I graduated high school with excellent grades, I was a part of the student council, and I did 3 sports all four years of high school. I kept very busy. Now that I’m in college and there’s no one really to hover over my shoulder, I’ve noticed I have a lot less motivation. I’m an architecture student, but why? Simply because I wanted a career my parents would be proud of. I have a harder time keeping up with work because I don’t really care to be an architect. I do need a job in the future, so I’m sticking with it. It’s not that I hate what I’m studying, it’s just that I don’t really feel like doing much at all now that there’s no one in person to tell me what to do.

I suffer from a lot of adhd and autistic traits...like MANY of them but in my own opinion I am NOT autistic nor do I have adhd. I know because I didn't have any symptoms like I do now when I was a kid nor a young adult..

It's even more difficult when the things you loved become mundane. Writing poetry, reading books, listening to music, playing video games, drinking and smoking, researching from a huge curiosity. Then you add the fact you have to trade most of your time just for money, working a bunch of jobs you hate. At this point I'm just happy to be alive and turning 29. So I'm just going to try & take it one day at a time. Cause one day we all gotta d!e. Might as well try to live in peace while I'm still young, before the problems of becoming old come.

autism doesnt exist, people who claim to be "neurodivergent" are just narcissists who want to pretend that they are better than everyone else.

The first time I watched this video I was with my narcissistic boyfriend at the time and he matched up with a lot of what you went through but I never really understood that he was a narcissist and that was my experience too but months now that we’re not together I can relate even deeper to you and your experience I’m grateful for your platform I don’t think anyone else truly understands what it’s like being in a relationship with a narcissist especially in my interpersonal relationships and I’m grateful that I can now see what I do and don’t deserve in a relationship ❤

Kai is your twitter gone for good?

Your mention of how allistic-written analysis tends to pathologize reminds me of how the DAMN DSM uses the term “stereotyped movements.” So they’re saying that a symptom of being autistic is…acting autistic.

Ooooooh shiiiiiit the comparison to false abuse allegations is something I never thought of

Ambition is overrated and a killer.

Sometimes I think seeing things this way is me being bitter or jaded from disappointment of things not working out for me but yeah, maybe it’s actually just the realization of the truth and the reality of things but we are too bummed out to accept it. I’m Im at a stage in life where I’m trying to redefine what I’m going to live for now because the version of me that is crumbling was annoyed and exhausted with keeping up in the competition, numbers and people pleasing.

I feel like it might be time for me to consider that I might be autistic but I am still in denial. I have three diagnosed autistic friends and they are always telling me that it is so clear I am one of them but I spent my whole life thinking it was just anxiety and thus somewhat resolvable so the idea of making such a transition in thought scares me.

Dark skin women aren’t the preferred choice, so what. Nobody owes you their choice. If you want preference, go to a country that loves darker skin. No one owes dark skin women their desire. Dark skin women need to focus on just being happy with themselves. You can’t shame men into liking what they don’t like❤