i dated a narcissist and this is what happened.
Vložit
- čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
- resources
narcissistic parents: the complete guide for adult children
www.mindbodygr...
www.verywellmi...
www.choosingth...
join my patreon community: / kaifoster
business inquiries: kaifosteryt@gmail.com
check out the merch:
teespring.com/...
my socials:
twitter: / kaimfoster
instagram: www.instagram....
tik tok: www.tiktok.com...
spotify: open.spotify.c...
my outfit:
shirt: forever 21
my affiliates:
society 6: society6.com?curator=kaifoster
foreo luna mini 3: go.magik.ly/ml...
ello masks: ellomasks.com/...
faq:
name: kai (kye) foster
age: 21
camera: canon g7x/iphone 11
editing: final cut pro
support this channel:
cashapp: $kaimfoster - Zábava
Anytime a person tells you that they don’t deserve you, believe them. A hard lesson to learn but narcs use that line almost every single time.
Yes they do
😳 😬
💯💯💯💯mine told me directly she wasn't shit.lmao. and she definitely proved it. 🤷🏿♀️
And the MF I was with use to tell me all the time that I deserve better.
very true
It's so crazy how you can be in such a toxic and harmful environment and it isn't until you remove yourself that you realize how traumatic and unacceptable it was. Wish you nothing but healing 💔
🎯🎯🎯
Your preaching sis
He should have tried to help you and understand how you felt ,when you told him that you were pregnant instead of leaving you.
Lord yeah I just removed myself and sometimes it takes something really traumatic to shake your entire life up before you can do it.
I remember when I left my SA relationship, I didn’t think much of it, I was type of my problem aren’t important & how never talk about my problem in front of people even family & friends. When 2020 hit, i had no job, no school, I stay all day & only with my thoughts, I realized that how I treated, being used, constantly & how I protect my r*pist but he never protected me, I knew that it would be hard but I never knew it would be so painful
“I thought I had an anxious attachment style, but I really just had anxiety over valid experiences” wow… you just gave me a huge realization 😳
Holy shit me too…….
Yeah it really helps to remind yourself who you were before you met the guy. If you know you are not jealous or insecure but you become that way only with him, there’s gotta be a reason for that. For me the light clicked when I moved on and realized that thinking about being with other guys, I didn’t feel unsafe or anxious AT ALL and all my attachment problems just magically melted away smh 🤦♀️
Me too 😭
this one!!!!
Bro i literally paused the video to say oh shit 😭
Narcissist are the most sarcastic people ever. They’ll catch you off guard by saying what they mean through a joke. Jokes just aren’t jokes coming from them! Them jokes are truths😬
Omggg this and they’ll say “I’m just sarcastic” as a way to manipulate you into thinking you’re overreacting
They'll say they cheated in a SARCASTIC way, so u take the truth...and set it aside since it's sarcasm. U think "ah they're being dramatic and sarcastic, they didn't do it" u explain alot of stuff away bc the mere thought of it hurts. They jokingly do it to paint that pic in ur mind to emotionally hurt you.
When that happens, catch the "joke", expose it to them and watch them give you the "STARE" 😳
@@daviedood2503
They'll use sarcasm to expose the ugly truth about themselves right in your face (the old trick of exposing truth blatantly because you'll automatically think they wont say the truth out in the open) but they will.
@@curli-lettey4319 yep. Lot of truth in them JOKES as well
i said what i said. these are my opinions, most narcissists don’t go to therapy or even receive a diagnosis. im not messy for talking about my trauma or for speaking out before i am truly healed from something. if you feel attacked or hurt, take it to a therapist. have a great day :)
Period
PERIODT. TELL EM KAI
You have every right to speak on what other people put you through. These abusive people thrive when their victims are silent
Speak your truth girl!!!!
Thank you for sharing your story.I fell for a narcissist as well and I didn’t know shit like this happened until I went through it and through therapy I learned what went through.Most ppl won’t understand this unless they’ve been through it.Narcissist sometimes operate in very subtle ways to the point you don’t know what’s happening.They feel entitled and consider you their property.Even after you end things they might stalk,harass and start talking shit about you to their new partner making you look like the bad guy when they’re actually the ones who fucked up.It’s a mindfuck game.
The beginning of this video caught me waaay off guard
SAME I was like *oop*
💯
i deadass thought i clicked the wrong video 💀
Same but I’m not mad at it 🤣
Same I was like is this an old vid or did y’all meet up…?
I literally dated a narcissist. Let me tell you, these people do not think they are ever wrong. If they are on your foot they will make you feel bad because your foot was in the way. It is so exhausting. It’s very much their way or the highway and then I was there trying to stop things from falling apart and I wasn’t even to blame. I don’t have a place in my heart for narcissist - you gotta take that mess somewhere else. I relate to this video soooo much
Sounds like most bw
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️ peace and much healing to you , unfortunately I know how you feel
Healing from narcissistic abuse is so hard
All the pain , anger and emotions is very overwhelming at times to deal with you
Keep growing, healing , living and loving take it a day at a time
In Full agreement with you 🤞🏾
Just got out of a relationship with a narcissist and this is exactly what it felt like. Wow.
!!!!!!!!!
Strategies I noticed he used:
- Flying Monkeys
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love Bombing
- Isolation
Watching Dr. Ramani’s videos via YT really helps you digest, detect, and cope when dealing and having dealt with Narcissism
@Just Jahaan Agreed. Both have taught me so much!
Watch Assc. Direct videos on utube, he breaks it down and throw in some jokes to make you see its not your fault, anyone can fall into the trap, he was a victim too.
All of these 💯 Also if you’re dealing with narcissistic parents/family check out crappy childhood fairy
Sr. Ramani, Angie Atkinson, Narc daily, inner integration all wonderful resources!
Dr. Ramani has been such a Blessing to me!
Girl all the red flags in the beginning 😭😭 I didn’t even notice them back then 😫
They came off as jokes 😬
I’m happy you noted that you didn’t notice because people always say “I always could tell” when people talk about break ups which can be invalidating
@@miraclehuntrockit Have an ex friend who I suspect has NPD. He is very charming and normally the life of the party- and has been a serial dater for as long as I knew him. He always said inappropriate or very dark jokes that we'd all just laugh off - it wasn't until we lived together and he let the mask down that I realized that most of the stuff he would pass off as just jokes were actually the messed up way he really felt. And he increasingly said more and more messed up things with this "chess game" look on his face and wanted to get into long debates while I would just be trying to grab my cereal. He tried therapy a few times, abut claimed he was too smart for his therapists and often bragged about how much of a genius he was. He was also abusing alcohol and would lie and say he was "practicing making cocktails" with water even though I would see the amount of whiskey bottles he'd go through in a week.
But it really hit the fan when I decided I could no longer deal with walking on eggshells in my own house and decided to move out - that was a whoooole can of worms where he guilt-trip over the weirdest things, like me taking a shower curtain I bought. I stopped responding to his texts because they were emotionally manipulative. Five months later, our mutual friends organized a sit down with us to get everything on the table- and I was open and honest about my experience, the ways I was hurt in the situation, and was accountable for all the ways I could've handled the situation better.
He, on the other-hand, spent the whole time scoffing, laughing off my experience, manipulating and twisting the things I (and my friends) said, never apologized or even held himself accountable for anything (even the petty texts) and ultimately when he realized none of us was buying it- he started crying and saying how none of us could understand his trauma. He also stated to blame my friends, saying he wasn't being invited to events and they weren't reaching out to him enough. When he realized that also was not working, he "got a call" and fled, but not before breaking down in sobs in the middle of the restaurant and complaining that I didn't invite him to my 30th bday (which happened after our move-out/fall-out). I left with relief, honestly, because I said everything I had pent up for months and came honest and open about everything and I knew that my friends were finally getting a true glimpse of the other side I had been talking about. Again, he's undiagnosed- alot of people with NPD never get to the point of being diagnosed because you have to actually acknowledge that there is a problem first and be honest in therapy. But its honestly sad to witness- especially since I still genuinely love and care about him. When he walked away sobbing, all I saw was a sad child- distraught for being caught being naughty and trying weaponize sympathy. I truly hope one day he realizes and seeks true help- but I just won't be the one holding his hand to get there.
@@LeeyaMakesNoise it is good that you recognized it, tried your best, and moved on. Trying our best is all we can do for someone who doesn’t want/know how to help themselves.
@@LeeyaMakesNoise your description of this just made me realize that my childhood abuser, my older brother, might be a narcissist too.........ive always known he was a weirdo and super extreme and delusional and unable to ever recognize his own role in this or admit that he's not the smartest person in the world. you just gave me so much to think about omg
I was in a situationship with the devil himself! lol got manipulated until I literally couldn’t take it anymore. Stay strong no contact.
Was his name Greg cus that sounds like the dude I was with for 3 years. LOL. didn't even know how bad it was until I finally yanked myself away. Glad we got out.
this
literally same one day i just woke up n i stg never looked at my ex the same i was repulsed by him n how he treated me
@@nla5307 LOL no his name was David but they’re both awful names 🤢🤢
If his name is Nikolai stay tf away lmao
If we truly want to be DEEPLY honest. This whole entire ERA is flooded with extreme Narcissism. That’s the philosophy this country had been built on. It’s just been magnified and fed into, ever since the internet got involved. That’s why we’re living in such unprecedented times
ERA...? The Equal Rights Amendment?
@@PS-qf9fj the word. Literally the word era. I didn’t put dots to indicate an acronym lol
@@jhoniikemp ohhhh LOL I was really thrown by that. Agreed, the era is over run with it. When I saw the caps I thought it was a title lol
@@PS-qf9fj no, I pretty much use caps for EMPHASIS 😬
some might call it self-love.
Narcissists lack empathy. It’s more than just a personality disorder. Thinking you can help a narcissist “ heal” is your first mistake. That’s your empathy and compassion as a good person and that’s great but the best thing you can do when you realize you’re being manipulated and gas lit, distance yourself immediately!!! Cut off all contact and be strong 💪🏾 💪🏾 💪🏾
Facts 👏🏾👏🏾
Yes!! These are entire unclean spirits that have in some way entered into these people. It’s uncanny how they do the exact same things and say the exact same things and have the same tactics and tendencies throughout the world. It’s been so many people including myself that is catching on to what is really going on out here. I agree that this thing is beyond a clinical diagnosis, what we are dealing with is Nasty spirits and demons and they come to steal, kill and destroy. Please stay spiritually strong and protected out here because it’s getting worse. Beware of the music that you listen to and the things that you watch, I believe that all of this stuff is working hand in hand to keep people functioning in a low vibration it’s like we’re breeding hell on earth.
In order to cut her off I have to divorce
@@KnicksNYanks84 same 😫
Sis exposed the shit outta him lmaooo!! A lot of men use women as placeholders as well. Men will literally be in a relationship with someone just for consistent sex or to level up until they meet the woman they truly wanna be with. One of the best ways to avoid this is to trust your instincts and to vet them, not just in the beginning but also throughout the relationship. Observe how they act in public, around your friends and their friends. This is why dating so important, don't fall for the house dates, get to know them first. You're honestly so brave for speaking up Kai! A lot of women spend yeeaarss with a man in hopes they will change; we be giving up our best years to these fools. BTW I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (I'm 20 & on the verge of failing college and at life at this point); do you mind making a video on stimulant medication (are you taking any?), the stigma surrounding it, and just your overall opinion/experince, please?
Hey. I’m also struggling with the adhd stuff and not yet diagnosed.
In a past video Kai said she’s on adderall
I also want to highly recommend the How to ADHD CZcams channel.
@@beko____ Thank-you so much!
Wow sis! I am one of those women who gave 21 yrs! 4 kids and now I have to deal with that generational curse trying to get ahold of my children! I have a 13 yr old junior who I should have never named him after his father….we just try to keep the family unit together but this guy…this guy is impossible! How can someone fix themselves if they don’t feel there is anything wrong with them?! I’m done I’m gone and yeah now I have to correct my children as they grow…I will never be completely done with him! The fool had the nerve to put down part of his retirement on our first home purchase then the dictatorship got real!! Long story short judge gave him a 3 yr move out/restraining order! They got something for narcissists too! God don’t play about His children and that karma oh boy! All the women on his phone, Trich, my baby aint his, all that my boys jumbo….now it’s time to pay the piper! So sad because I actually loved him and he was a horrible boyfriend and a horrible husband! Too needy and possessive was gonna kill anybody that I dealt with or tried to get with friends just too much! Now I’m cleaning up my act raising his children, my children and I refuse to allow them to be that guy! Ever!!!
@@ronakeeaustin8168 smhhh I'm so sorry you had to go through this. My mother went through so much with my dad and it's now that we found out that my dad had ADHD this whole time (and passed it on to me lol). This is why therapy is so important. I wish you the best & keep moving forward. You got this!
Whew ,Hot Damn . You said a mouthful fr 💯
I was talking to a narcissist and it was the scariest thing I ever experienced. He would gaslight me and I was so confused! I had to cut him off and I’m so happy I’m just 100% single and focused on me now. It finally makes sense when you said narcissists attract empaths it made complete sense.
What does it mean for someone to gaslight you?
@@LovelyLipsxoxo making you feel like your concern is only in your head. Discrediting what you’re saying and not even acknowledging it.
@@LovelyLipsxoxo Say you bring up sexual assault or rape crimes and a man says men get raped too so shut up. That’s gaslighting.
Indeed it does
@@LovelyLipsxoxo It's a tactic abusers use. An example is if the abuser threw something at their partner and the partner brought it up later, the abuser would say something like 'What? That never happened.' They want their victim to question their own reality basically. Other things they might say are things like 'You're crazy' or 'Your memory is awful'
Being with a narcissist is one of the most painful things you could go through. We broke up in July and he is already on to his second or third relationship and he still has stuff at my house. It's insane how quickly they move on. Can't be alone with themselves at all. Just jump from person to person.
@virtual asylum I've been no contact since Oct and my friend said she saw him today Jan 1st, with a new girl....but I was accused of cheating 🙄
So true! It’s unbelievable 🥺 my ex broke up with me one night around a month ago found out two days later he went straight back to his ex the next night and slept with her stayed round hers that week then the next week got in another relationship with someone else.. for my first boyfriend aswell it’s done a lot of damage 😖
gosh he will come back!my ex did he same thats why i knew he will come back....et him pick the stuffs, have a nice life without garbage!
They NEED new supply. It will be over with the next person too.
@@BFswithGFs so true but sad at the same time :(
when u said “they’ll tell u what u need to hear and then do the complete opposite” 💯 u spot on sis 🎯
im currently finding my strength 🥺🤞🏼 glad u found yours ✨
I’m going through this right now. I’m in the process of isolating myself. Like this year, I want to focus on myself. I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. And i shouldn’t feel forced. This shit is so draining.
Done dealing with Narcs!! Can’t even tell the difference between who’s good and bad anymore. Therapy it is. 🤧🥺
Me too 😬
I swear 😔
After you survive narcissistic abuse your scared of feeling that pain ever again 💯
I feel ya
@@MZPOETSKYLOVEBLACK So true! Never again.
In full agreement with you sis
*THE BEGINNING* 😭🤭 lolol he finna be mad when he see this.. stay safe! glad you know your worth
I was dating a narcissist on and off for two years and to say it was a emotional roller coaster is an understatement! I was always made to feel like the bad guy when all I tried to do was make things work. My grandma was on her death bed and I felt so alone and he was the first person I called for comfort and he thought I was lying to get attention because we weren’t speaking at the time. I was so hurt, I asked why he thought I would lie about that and he said his ex lied about having a miscarriage to get back with him. The whole relationship was a waste but I learned so much about narcissists and how to avoid them.
Right
I realized that you can’t give people too much information. They’ll use it against you to see if you’ve truly learned from the last time.I know it sounds messed up and I wish that people were more trustworthy but their not.I’m sorry what happened to you and I’m glad that you made it out.
Only toxic people use what you share against you. You can share with healthy people all day. Don’t allow toxic people to stop you from sharing your truth.
@@PrettyINCs that’s a fair statement. I only said that because sometimes ,some people are really skillful at hiding their true intentions , leaving a very vulnerable you in a fucked up situation.
So aren’t they still a narc anyway regardless if I shared my past abusive ex with them or not.. and the next person there with won’t matter? Either way
@@VictoriaMeeker I’m confused about your question , but I’m also a little tipsy lol I’ll address this in the am
@@kaylapopplewell4510 like I told him about my past more through out and why he was hurting me so bad. In therapy. He knew about my past abusive partner. I’m saying either way this person abused me, lied to me, cheated, has a wife in another country, suicidal if I didn’t get back with him, 2 years I chased him I guess questioned my sanity. Degraded Me. Abortion all that. Didn’t care if I died before. Threw me across the room. Choked me. Shoved me. Etc.. my other ex did most of these things he kind of knew about it. Either way this person that just left me won’t they still be the same for anyone either way regardless of a past story shared or not? Would this person still be this perosn for any other female because he’s married in another country and I had to do the digging and got called crazy the entire situstionship even though I proved right. And talked to me about trust. Making up stories and white lies and fabricating himself and looking for validation through me. I was his “first” girl or whatever that kept pursuing here since he moved here for three years. He destroyed me but thinks I abused him and traumatized him when he took my pain and used it for his own and manipulated me in my own trauma he did to me. It’s very crazy and sick. No worries. Enjoy your night lol.
Damn why was he so rude with the answers in the beginning
What was rude?
I just assumed that that was the way they joked w each other at the time. It weird how context can change the way we view him now
@@bbbryne893 Yeah I didn't get how it was rude either. It was cute when their video first came out but now that he's a "narcissist" those same comments are rude. Not saying that he isn't a narcissist but I couldn't tell from the answers to the questions in the beginning
@@AmiriHipHop Eh.. well we really don't know what he was feeling in that moment do we? But I would say men in general don't want to hear that type of compliment honestly. Men like to fix things. If she followed up with, you make me feel better or you help me solve problems, I think he would have appreciated that.
@@AmiriHipHop All right, fair enough. I was just going off of personal experience.
I dated a narcissist and I've noticed that at a young age that I always said yes to things when i didn't want to bc I would feel bad or scared they'd treat me differently. That led to many accounts of having intercourse when i didn't want to but more so convinced to. Being told I'd like it and it'll be fun when I wasn't aroused at all and it would hurt. I'm 23 now and i finally am able to say no without the guilt in my heart.
It took me awhile but i noticed red flags now and the things he used to do he didn't do when he got me, I would question it and he would say that he didn't need to anymore, it was just to impress me.
Take a year off from relationships enjoy your singleness. Keep building on the positive aspects of your self. Don't look for validation from people you will always be short changed. Or if your going to jump into a relationship focus on building on the nonsexual components be vocal about it and follow through. If you can vibe and they are down then you might have found someone worth keeping.
Stop breaking your own heart by trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work. You can't force someone to care about you. You can't force someone to be loyal. You can't force someone to be the person you need them to be. Sometimes the person you want most is the person your best without. You got to understand some things are meant to happen, but just not meant to be. Some things are meant to come in your life, just not meant to stay. Don't lose yourself by trying to fix what's meant to stay broken. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to give it to you. And you might not understand why now, but I promise you your future will always bring understanding of Why things didn't work out. Don't put your happiness on hold for someone who isn't holding on to you. Some chapters just have to close without closure
Beautiful wise words.
I am just floored at how similiar all of our stories are when dealing with these people...
Yes!!!!!! But they are the victim. Very eeirrrr and sickening🤮🤮. Loving my peace from the demonic spirit.
Always the victim and they shift the blame - never apologize or take accountability
In fact, we end up apologizing
this just made me realize alot of things…
Sending love 💕
The beginning 💀💀💀
this reminds me of my ex. so many similarities. he definitely struck me as being narcissistic after I finally realized how much better off I was without him... he would constantly manipulate me, accuse me of cheating when he was the one always cheating on every girlfriend he had, ignoring me for days at a time, etc... he never had any remorse for how he treated others. it was always everyone else against him and he was always the victim. one of those "all my exes are crazy" types... it was traumatizing. i hope you find your healing from this
Sounds like we were dating the same person, but my ex was a female covert narcissist
@@davon_DaGod the coverts are the ones who’ve mastered narcissism and know how to cloak it for longevity.
this whole video triggerd my fight or flight , I sadly relate to almost everything discussed. I literally had to pause this video to stop and cry, i am really deeping everything right now . Wishing you and everyone else who has experienced this love and light
I too felt a strong reaction to this video
Your not alone peace and divine healing to you love keep your head up ❤️
Kai if you have the energy or strength to do this, please start a podcast. I relate to you so much & I love your perspective on things. I would love to hear you dive deep into more topics like this through a podcast. Sending peace and genuine relationships your way 💓💓
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Would definitely listen if this is something she wanted to do!
Yesss! She’s so well spoken, I would listen 100%
Yes!
Yeah she had like a few episode of a podcast in the past.
But I believe discontinued it due to not having the time
I love the amount of emotion near the end of the video when talking about how even though you never met your child they still saved you. Incredible sentiment
I love how you articulate your feelings. Learned something about a saying I heard.... "You attract what you are".... That doesn't mean you attract "you"....but that you attract what needs you or could use you. So you are correct that empaths attract narcissist. I hope you find peace on your journey. You truly are an amazing individual. Much Love Much Light Kai
This brought me to tears because dealing with a narcissist is really sad and mentally exhausting. They really don’t see any wrong in what they do at all. I literally had to pay money and almost had my credit messed up dealing with a narcissist. Everyone around him just viewed me as the crazy and did not believe that he would do what he did. Narcissist love to play face HEAVY and they have to keep up this appearance for everyone else so nobody really know who they truly are. The best way to het over a narcissist is to heal and starve them of communication. Kai, I wish you nothing but healing, love, and light and I am so proud of you for speaking your story ❤️✨
Girl, you articulated this so well. I’ve been in a situation similar to this and I’ve never been able to put it into words exactly. You’re so strong for putting this out there. Thank you.
I agree
hearing this sounds like you are describing my ex to a T. it’s CRAZY how narcissists are exactly alike.
All of them are very textbook.
I thought the same thing.
Same here 🥺 they all got different traits thought it’s crazy. Same here ..
Yup my ex’s reaction to therapy was like a demon being singed by holy water. It doesn’t serve a narcissist to face themselves. I swear is there a website where we can start reporting them??
Glad you got out alive! ❤️
IM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR POSTING THIS KAI! 💜💜💜YOU’RE BEYOND STRONG AND BRAVE! THANK YOU FOR BEING AUTHENTIC EVEN WHEN IT’S DIFFICULT!!!!!
Ooooooo the tea is hot….😧😂😂…yes Kai point him out
The blank stares when you’re upset like what’s going onnnn. My ex tried to get me pregnant and then when I actually was scared and getting tested ghosted me at my most vulnerable. I’m so sorry that happened to you it is the worst feeling, indescribable. Sexual trauma is so difficult to our self worth when I had a body issue going on and couldn’t have sex and he left and cheated. The love bombing and lying was so strong I thought he was at his friends and nope. It started in my family also as it usually does. Thank you for sharing - needed this reminder today. I realized in the last year that I have developed adhd and ocd also and it was a response to trauma.
“They make you feel small so they can feel bigger” well said
i really appreciate you talking out about this even though its hard to talk out about a traumatic situation that youre still healing from! it takes courage to talk about something that so many people go through. i wish you peace and healing
So glad you're talking about this, especially with the way narcissism works. i have the same fear of speaking out because I know there will be more people who would not believe me about that person than it would be people who would believe me. I believe you, especially since I have my own story about my parents being narcissist and my last romantic partner being a narcissist as well. These attributes and personality traits you are speaking of are very familiar. Again, thank you for sharing. This is helping me if that was your goal.
I got tired of asking, "what did I do?" It got tiresome. No contact is usually best.
His hair is died blonde 🚩🚩🚩 Mama always told me don’t ever trust a man who sits and gets his hair dyed.
Lol I’ve never heard but I’ll keep that in mind. Ask her why and comment back to me please lol lol I really want to know
Lmao
😂😂😂😂.
watching this kinda made me reflect on my most recent past relationship and i don’t know why but i never thought of my ex as a narcissist when in actuality he really is the textbook definition of one. literally from the love bombing, sharing trauma to trap me, non-affectionate, everything being about him and the classic “nice” guy act. i mean this guy worships a very well known narcissist, so i don’t know why i never put the pieces together 🙃 shit traumatized me so bad i haven’t been in anything serious in 5 years. thank you for sharing your story and i’m so sorry that you had to experience something like this.
i wish you nothing but healing
if u dont mind me asking, who is the well known narcissist?
@@Elle-oq2cw kayne west
@@fionagallagherapologist5968 thank you💛
Same thing. My ex worshipped the ground his malignant narcissist brother walked on. I dont know how at the time i couldn’t see he was a narcissist too. He wasn’t malignant like his brother, he was covert, but still a narcissist.
One of the main things I noticed when you were telling your story is how grateful you are. It is truly a beautiful thing to see; that you are able to still find gratitude in the most painful of experiences. I am sending you love & healing, thank you for sharing ♥
Yeah, this just confirmed my experience... Stay strong, Kai.
I think they detach as soon as they start to feel like they’ll care about you or love you because they’re so used to that self sabotaging
So they don’t get past a certain level of like or love
They just love that honeymoon phase because it’s addicting to them
Phewwww after that intro I came here to immediately give you you’re props! A lot of women don’t even realize who theyre REALLY dating so big ups to you for posting this!
Girlllll, you literally just explained my entire situation. We FINALLY ended it after 1 year but it took so much out of me that I’m traumatized. I pray that we both heal from our past ❤️🥺
You are so brilliant & courageous at 21! You are an amazing young woman. I'm 44 & it took me 40ish years to end receiving narc abuse cycles
Ps your child definitely saved you and I'm an Aries! ;) You are doing amazing work in yourself & sharing helps so many people
Keep doing & loving you!
I’m really glad I stumbled upon this video. I broke up with my narcissist back in August and I am practically yelling at the other end of the phone because our experiences are so parallel even down to the ADHD and pregnancy. I could go on forever but you are incredibly brave for this especially knowing the type of mental strain and confusion this stuff puts one through. Any neurotypical person dealing with a narcissist can go insane let alone someone with a hyperactive brain. My heart goes out to you, and I’m wishing you lots of peace through your grieving and growth. X
First time I’ve ever watched/ listened to someone explain the experience of being with a narcissist / someone with narcissistic traits, and genuinely felt some kind of relation. I’ve seen lots of videos about what a narcissist is like, but not the experience of being with one. How draining it is, isolating, like fighting a losing battle, the mind games, emotional manipulation.
Although overcoming it now, I think I never acknowledged the fact that I’ve always felt alone in my experience. So simply I appreciate you for sharing yours.
there’s 2 types of cancers:
the angelic, emotional, empathetic ones who love self reflection, & try to be a better person… and then there are the ones like kai’s ex.
-HTTV
Facts!
True.
It’s him being dragged publicly 😭😂😂😂
I love how much your energy’s shifted towards stability within yourself rather than giving all the best parts of yourself to others. Here for it❣️
if you don’t enjoy your high with someone, it’s a wrap i learned that lesson lml
Lmaooooo yep
I needed this video. I was so depressed today. Going through a break up with a narcissist as well and it’s been 2 months today was rough. My eyes we’re literally puffy af from crying all day. Then I saw this vid I felt every single word you said. Thank you.
Aww babes! I hope you’re doing well today, 9 months later! 🤎🥹
so, so, SO proud of you!! This makes me so happy for you. As a fellow Sag sun, i experienced a highly similar relationship with another covert narcissist. I broke things off in June of this year, when I finally found out that he was physically cheating on me for at least 8 months (as far as I know). I came up to very similar conclusions post-relationship: he’s really insecure, needed validation, future faking, love-bombing, lying, manipulation, tore me down-you name it! I’ve learned so much about myself and what I will not tolerate ever again. I will never feel inadequate for asking for basic love needs again! So so so so proud of you. ❤️ you are so heard and seen!
Would like to add that I also went through a post-breakup glow up phase and boosted my confidence. We’ve been in no-contact for 5 months! He’s prob been on a smear campaign about me…but it is what it is! You are so loved.
Watched a video by DoctorRamani titled "the dark empath". It's about narcissists with just enough empathy to reel you in with affection, love and understanding but not enough to maintain the love throughout the relationship. It sounds like exactly what you described. Wishing healing to anyone who ever has to go through being with someone like that.
Dr Ramani is the best
This is one of the healthiest explanations I’ve heard about narcissism yet. Your articulation is so strong. Big things for you.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this. My ex literally said to me: "I'm nice to everyone except for you." The sick thing is, my brain was so warped by that point in the relationship that I interpreted that as intimacy because it implied that he felt safe being the "real (demonic) him" around me. Everything you said hit the nail on the end.
Didn't realize I was dealing with a narcissist until I recently got out of my relationship. Crazy how this video popped up on my recommend a day before everything went down. I didn't want to see my ex in your ex, but everything that you were saying opened my eyes for sure. I thank you so much for this video queen. We are beautiful souls who just needed our eyes to be more open. Good luck to you on your life journey and I wish you NOTHING but the best
You just had me nodding and crying throughout this whole video. This is so comforting, thank you.
Girl i'm just glad that you were able to grow and become a better and wiser you. I'm gonna pray you
I hope you heal from this. I've been raised by narcs myself, surrounded by toxic person after another (friends/family), and just got out of a long term relationship with a narc guy. The whole time I thought he supported me, but in reality he was the living replica of my mother and father. He had asked me if I was happier being alone than being in his company. I found out his lying and cheating, then moved back home forgetting how toxic it was 😒. Narcissism has been getting louder and louder in these times.
The same sun moon AND rising girl. AND RISING?!? yo that was a demon 💀
I can honestly say that after watching this video I been knew after me and my ex broke up that I was in fact dating a narcissist and he also had depression and adhd but although we all suffer from some kind of mental illness it’s never an excuse. Us as humans know right and from wrong and I tolerated so much and in the end I had to choose me . Because I was with this person for 10 months and made myself weak , co dependent, Vulnerable , and lost one within myself . I lost who I was . And being with a narcissist made me realize I am such a people pleaser and I’ll rather be with an ain’t shit ass guy who was literally the bare minimum, just for the sake of any company because I get anxiety if u be by myself and I just have anxiety period . It’s a process and I have to forgive myself for living a person who really don’t know a single thing about love . And I hope u do too ..❣️ much appreciated this video kai
No, listen...Thank you for validating my experience. I thought I was gong crazy, I thought that I was at fault. This confirmed so much! I hope we all heal.
I was talking to a narcissist on and off for over and a year and I just realized that’s what he was. All these flags you talked about are literally him. I’m finally done giving him my time and energy
I just spent five years living that exact life with someone and none of the people we’ve known for years would ever believe me because he is so nice and giving to EVERYONE else in the world. Absolutely charming to them and manipulative to ME.
Five years? Yes, 5 years because I walked on eggshells and went back after hundreds of breakups during that time.
When you call a Narcissist out on their sht they tend to put the blame on you or others.
This explains my ex boyfriend’s behavior. He immediately went to blaming me for not caring about him because i wanted to know why he was putting in such low effort in the relationship. And that i felt like a fuck buddy. He never asked about me. Not truly. It was just breadcrumbing butit was not authentic. When he asked how are you? He really didn’t care & i could tell
KAI... its the fact I'm a Sagittarius sun and had a similar situation happen to me with a nigga.. THIS YEAR. The depression during pregnancy and the abortion really fucked me up. You're so strong and authentic and continue to inspire me heavy. Sending lots of love and healing energy your way!!
I had a pregnancy and abortion with a man like this before, and I had a panic attack bc he started screaming in my house and then he went outside and kicked my car door in and then told me it wasn’t him because he did it when I didn’t see. When we were the only ones home. Girl when I tell you I raged harder than I ever have I called the cops instantly I was so hormonal
@@hopeg02 omg I’m so so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you’re doing well now and you never put up with a situation like that ever again
Talking about the family structure and past made so much sense. We can be so used to toxic situations it really can mess you up in relationships.
Oh the bad mouthing of exs is a huge red flag 🚩 I understand being upset at the end of the break up but if it's been years....like get over it! The narcissist I'm dealing with always bad mouths his baby momma so I can imagine what will be said about me once I'm gone.
You always amaze me with how authentic and open and thoughtful you are.
Your videos really are everything. It makes me confront the things I’ve ran from. I am thankful for you Kai. Truly, you are appreciated.
Wow this hits deep, this is exactly the relationship I’m having. I really agree with the fact that they think they have to be in the relationship because they are obligated to not because the genuinely love you. Im so sorry this happened to you, I appreciate you sharing this. I definitely look up to you! Thanks boo 💕
You hit sooo many valid points in this video! I recently realized I’ve been dealing with a narcissist myself. But I’m glad you’ve been able to find your peace again, no one deserves to be made small.
Wowwwwww. You said my thoughts perfectly I also dated a narcissist I still think about that shit today I hate it but it was a lessons learned. When I see those red flags I don’t even entertain them shut them down immediately
your maturity and self compassion is so inspiring.thank you for being brave, I relate to this a lot as a 21 yr old who also just got out of a narc relationship. sending so much love and healing
I’m soooo glad the issue on narcissist is being spread more and more people are talking about their experiences because if it wasn’t for people like you I wouldn’t be able to survive and find myself again. So thank you and never let people’s views on what you went thru affect YOUR experiences because they don’t know what you went thru.
My ex wanted me to get an abortion so bad. He said he would push me down the stairs if I kept the baby. Such an evil jerk. So full of it
Your mental and physical health is what really matters to begin with at the end of the day. I’m glad you’re not in that type of environment anymore because you deserve much better. Don’t pay mind to the negativity of others because you’re a queen. Kudos to you for speaking out on how you really felt. More life & blessings to you Kai. 🙏🏽
As a cancer who has dated a cancer male... never again
what's wrong with yall? seriously. never met such broken nonhuman humans
I was in a situationship with someone who I’m pretty sure is a narcissist and I never want to go through that experience again. And I do not like looking back on that time because it was so emotionally draining and my anxiety was through the roof. And I can’t believe I allowed myself to be in that situation for as long as I was for someone who couldn’t really respect me or my feelings. Like the similarities between my story and yours are so striking, it’s wild.
I’ve been in a similar situation. one of the things I noticed about my ex is I felt like an accessory I was around to be seen not heard . Whenever I spoke about a problem he would listen but offer nothing of substance but whenever he talked about his issues it was like some incredible hardship . One other thing I noticed about my ex is he felt so deserving of love like whenever he brought up his ex it was always in the context that she didn’t appreciate all the wonderful things he did for her and his inability to keep a women was not because of him but because of them
thanks! i finally know my dad is a narcissist! but no honestly, sorry you went through this. not fun. i def can relate
You’re literally my favourite CZcamsr. Your channel is constantly help me to grow and hopefully be the best person and eventual partner I can be
you have no idea how much this video means to me. as someone who has been through hell and back with a narcissist last year and finally broke away in june, you took the words right out of my mouth. everything you described from overcoming the trauma and breaking generational curses and the love you knew as a child--just know that i hear you. and I understand you. and i'm so glad that there is someone else out there that has been through the shit i have and has grown from it and is choosing to create a new path. something that helped me break free from my narcissist was the thought that my future child deserved to have a mother that was truly and genuinely loved. thank you, thank you, thank you. much love
Sometimes narcissistic people are usually jealous too,
This made me realize that I too dated a narcissist and it’s been 3 years of still feeling attached to this person and not knowing why
I could feel your love for that child. You’ll get your chance to meet them one day when you’re healed and ready. ✨💫 Take care of and protect yourself until then!
The "Never Again Relationship". I feel ya' on that. Been there, got the T-shirt!
“I thought that I had an anxious attachment style, but really, I had anxiety being triggered for very valid reasons.” THIS
this video couldn’t have come at a better time. i needed to hear that i’m not alone in this experience and that i’m not crazy or making it up. i was absolutely dating a narcissist. this really helped me and i feel like the healing process is gonna be a lot better for me now knowing that i wasnt insane and that someone else had a similar experience. i’m sorry that you had to endure that, and i am so happy that you’re on the other side of it bc i know it doesnt happen that way for a lot of people. sending you all the love and support. thank you for being so vulnerable and transparent about your experiences. i am in awe of you, truly.
Whew thank you for sharing! This is so so helpful. My parents are narcissists too - can definitely relate to crying in front of someone and them ignoring you, them playing a role out of obligation but not out of love. Would you ever make a video about how to define a relationship/set boundaries with/love narcissistic parents?
I also just finished the video and heard the part about developing OCD from not feeling good enough. Same girl same.
Crazy we had the same exact relationship.. like we were dating the same guy except a decade later 😩
Thank you for being so transparent. You’re healing so many hearts as you continue to heal.
You speak so eloquently, and are very intelligent. Your right about it all! I’m an empath with adhd and ocd as well, so I completely relate in terms of dealing with narcissists.
I feel so heard & seen watching this. Thank you for being so brave and sharing this with us Kai. Praying for you 💜
This video was so cathartic to watch, and gave me revelations with my own interactions and intimate experiences. I pray for your continual growth and happiness, you have helped others (such as myself) along the way too. You’re amazing! 🖤