Therapist reacts to People=Shit by Slipknot

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  • čas přidán 12. 02. 2024
  • Therapist analyzes the lyrics of People = shit by Slipknot to discuss how people often adopt this belief as a way to protect themselves from the pain of loss or disappointment. This belief also prevents us from the power of connection. The song calls us to FIGHT against this belief and take responsibility for creating a better life for ourselves and those around us
    --
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    #slipknot #coreytaylor #therapist
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Komentáře • 603

  • @duanemusso544
    @duanemusso544 Před 5 měsíci +745

    My 14 year daughter’s first concert at 9 years old was Slipknot. This is her favorite song!

    • @vovindequasahi
      @vovindequasahi Před 5 měsíci +56

      Good upbringing I say!!

    • @windows-qj2ri
      @windows-qj2ri Před 5 měsíci +54

      you are great dad

    • @SpiderGang56
      @SpiderGang56 Před 5 měsíci +28

      She was raised right❤

    • @adrianthayer4591
      @adrianthayer4591 Před 5 měsíci +4

      Did you go with her?

    • @jeremylong7533
      @jeremylong7533 Před 5 měsíci +14

      I took my daughter to her first concert about a year ago and of course it was Slipknot. She was 14 and absolutely loved it. Proud dad 😁

  • @pitonto16
    @pitonto16 Před 5 měsíci +351

    I felt so connected to Slipknot during this era of them when i was in high school….it helped me deal with my anger. I thank slipknot and Corey because expressing their anger through their music, i was able to relief mine just by listening

    • @atomfallen2409
      @atomfallen2409 Před 4 měsíci +3

      Same.good stuff

    • @dansimard4049
      @dansimard4049 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Definitely was a gateway to deep and darker bands. Subliminal verses came out part way through my highschool days and I was hooked

    • @laternevercame
      @laternevercame Před 4 měsíci +2

      That was Manson for me. Slipknot still has a special place in my heart but I found Manson in middle school and he changed how I seen music. I stopped taking lyrics at face value and learned a lot from the genre.

    • @jonburton739
      @jonburton739 Před 4 měsíci

      Remember

    • @Alexandria87
      @Alexandria87 Před 3 měsíci +3

      Dude same! It was a glorious time to be 14-15 when this album came out.

  • @htx_screwww3959
    @htx_screwww3959 Před 5 měsíci +158

    This is by far becoming my favorite reaction channel on CZcams! You make my lunch breaks even more enjoyable !

  • @darkangel5672
    @darkangel5672 Před 5 měsíci +68

    The entire Iowa album is full of raw emotion and well worth your reactions and analysis. Got yourself a new sub

  • @jeremylong7533
    @jeremylong7533 Před 5 měsíci +77

    This is their best song to experience live. Saw the original 9 back in the day and saw them about a year ago. Still amazing and absolutely love them

    • @DaniF8492
      @DaniF8492 Před 5 měsíci +3

      Right!! I was at this show and it was epic. My 2nd ever gig and it blew my mind. I've seen them live 8 times

    • @vermili0n
      @vermili0n Před 2 měsíci

      First time I saw them was 04 during the all hope is gone era. Was a fan already since about 2000 though, I was just like 11 at the time

  • @MichaelGrubbEvolvedMinistry
    @MichaelGrubbEvolvedMinistry Před 4 měsíci +32

    I love the way this woman jams right along with the music.

  • @HankTheTank78
    @HankTheTank78 Před 5 měsíci +60

    Strap in for whenever you get around to watching Disasterpiece. It’s more metal than a kettle.

    • @StubbeFres
      @StubbeFres Před 5 měsíci +10

      more metal than a kettle 🤣🤘

    • @michaelcumming2097
      @michaelcumming2097 Před 5 měsíci +7

      More metal than a kettle is now my new favourite phrase thank you for that

  • @glendaly3344
    @glendaly3344 Před 5 měsíci +121

    You really are making your way through the slipknot songs. I think you should do surfacing next.

    • @Knotunit
      @Knotunit Před 5 měsíci +7

      appreciate the "hits" suggestions but there some real deep gems in those b sides

    • @dedo7326
      @dedo7326 Před 5 měsíci +10

      @@KnotunitI think she’s ready for scissors

    • @TEXAS_SKOLDIER
      @TEXAS_SKOLDIER Před 5 měsíci +2

      YESSSSS

    • @DaveKore
      @DaveKore Před 4 měsíci +2

      LEFT BEHIND 🤘🤘🤘

    • @glendaly3344
      @glendaly3344 Před 4 měsíci

      @@DaveKore czcams.com/video/mxZRN9XmCIs/video.htmlsi=fstL0KMK3Ur1svOb

  • @beardofben1718
    @beardofben1718 Před 5 měsíci +12

    This is the best channel ever! Beautiful therapist, great music and has helped me soo much with my mental health! Follower for life!!!!

  • @AppalachianChaplin
    @AppalachianChaplin Před 5 měsíci +52

    I watch every video because it brings back memories of being able to express myself like this. That part of me died a long time ago ina place far from home, but i still smile seeing you have the emotion. Id definitely love for you to keep making reactions👍

    • @harveyblevins74
      @harveyblevins74 Před 5 měsíci +2

      What's up my fellow Appalachian brother? You good?

    • @AppalachianChaplin
      @AppalachianChaplin Před 5 měsíci +2

      @harveyblevins74 what's up brother! We're still truckin over here, one step at a time👍 you solid?

  • @michaeldomec5275
    @michaeldomec5275 Před 5 měsíci +15

    Love how you actually let the somg play for a while and not stopping it every other word!!! Love your work

  • @jimmyjimjim3054
    @jimmyjimjim3054 Před 5 měsíci +135

    Unfortunately, "people" have proven this to be true.

  • @mitchthemetalhead2589
    @mitchthemetalhead2589 Před 5 měsíci +9

    This is the first video I’ve seen from your channel and I instantly subscribed. Your analysis of the lyrics are on another level compared to other reaction channels. I’ve been a Slipknot fan since 2000 and have never processed the lyrics like I just did watching this. I also love how you get into the music and move to it! Keep up the incredible work! 🤘

  • @MrMason29
    @MrMason29 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Highlight of my day lol great vid, thank you ❤ 😊

  • @Skeptical73
    @Skeptical73 Před 5 měsíci +1

    That was too lit, thanks for bringing that big energy!

  • @blizzyhan
    @blizzyhan Před 5 měsíci +54

    Daddy by korn… literal tears and chills every time. Deep dive into John Davis childhood trauma

    • @Ennui.
      @Ennui. Před 5 měsíci +32

      You want the therapist to end up in therapy herself?

    • @blizzyhan
      @blizzyhan Před 5 měsíci +4

      @@Ennui. hahahaha

    • @KoRn_NuTT
      @KoRn_NuTT Před 5 měsíci +1

      I'm pretty sure she's going down the KoRn rabbit hole after she's done with Slipknot

    • @Dicipleguy333
      @Dicipleguy333 Před 3 měsíci +2

      When you find out that Jon Davis was abused by a woman

    • @atheist101
      @atheist101 Před 3 měsíci +1

      This isn't a song to just request a reaction for. You have to get them to do other Korn songs before hand the let them know what they're getting into. Sending someone into that song with no clue is just plain wrong. So many people request this song from people who've never even heard of Korn and that's just mean

  • @Freekyeight
    @Freekyeight Před 5 měsíci +1

    Thanks for reacting to this song, it is one of my favs from them :) Hopefully this Slipknot rabbit hole keeps going on while i enjoy your reactions of their songs.

  • @paul.thomason
    @paul.thomason Před 3 měsíci +11

    I remember when the Iowa album first came out. I waited in line to get it LOL. When I first listened to it, it sounded 10x heavier and angrier than their first album which immediately locked me to it. As a metal drummer, I really loved the aggressiveness.

  • @ishRozeYT
    @ishRozeYT Před 5 měsíci +1

    So far this has been the best explation i've seen someone has made of the lyrics of this song! pretty impressive, keep it going 🙌🏻

  • @pod543
    @pod543 Před 4 měsíci

    Wow this is the best thorough explanation to songs I’ve seen and you actually enjoy this kind of music. Subscribed fo sho.

  • @vilifyahuman
    @vilifyahuman Před 5 měsíci +14

    I dont know if it was my request from like 16 hours ago but i requested this exact song. Your freakin awesome. You got my sub and a thumbs up.

  • @martinw2235
    @martinw2235 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I've loved Iowa since it came out and you've given me a new perspective on the song. Thank you so much!

  • @Spinksreptiles
    @Spinksreptiles Před 2 měsíci +1

    I’ve been watching a lot of videos of you watching videos I grew up with and getting stuff from my favorite songs I’ve never thought about, especially the tool stuff your actually a
    Legend haha

  • @Rignite1801
    @Rignite1801 Před 5 měsíci

    Loved it, another great video!!

  • @franzwohlgemuth2002
    @franzwohlgemuth2002 Před 5 měsíci +41

    This song and The Heretic Anthem perfectly describe my misanthropy. Yeah, I'm a misanthrope. But with everything I've been through, I have my reasons...

    • @infernaloz6486
      @infernaloz6486 Před 5 měsíci +2

      I know how you feel. I'm a misanthrope as well, abusive parents and autism tend to make an already lonely child a wee bit apathtic to people.

    • @franzwohlgemuth2002
      @franzwohlgemuth2002 Před 5 měsíci +2

      @@infernaloz6486 abusive dad, who was also racist/ homophobic, then I've done customer service for 30 years, studied psychology....

    • @jauhoprinsessa
      @jauhoprinsessa Před 5 měsíci +6

      @@franzwohlgemuth2002 Customer service alone is enough for that.

    • @SantiagoAQA
      @SantiagoAQA Před 5 měsíci +2

      It's hard not to be

    • @moncreebrown948
      @moncreebrown948 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Same here man.

  • @user-hx2py4yg9l
    @user-hx2py4yg9l Před 13 dny

    My new favorite channel! My mom is a therapist and never liked me listening to all this stuff. Me now, almost 32 years old, I’m gonna use some of what you say 😊

  • @ExplodingWaffleZ829
    @ExplodingWaffleZ829 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Heart support. Literally me EVERYDAY! Love this song!!!

  • @markhambleton-gp1fy
    @markhambleton-gp1fy Před 4 měsíci

    first time ive watched this channel one of the best ive seen x

  • @checkurhead_3472
    @checkurhead_3472 Před 2 dny

    This video came to me at an interesting point in my life. Thanks

  • @pressman45
    @pressman45 Před 5 měsíci

    Nice reaction. You changed my mind on humanity. Thank you. You are beautiful. Inside and out.

  • @SirBonzo
    @SirBonzo Před 4 měsíci +1

    This brings back some fantastic memories. I was at this show and i'm somewhere in the crowd. 2002 at the Docklands Arena in London. I remember it was early in the year and it was freezing in London! 20 yr old me had good taste in gigs.

  • @user-yf2iy9qn5o
    @user-yf2iy9qn5o Před 2 měsíci +1

    I understand this completely I have suffered from depression for a really long time and so many times I just wanted someone to listen and talk to and no one would until I found the right therapist

  • @femur8544
    @femur8544 Před 5 měsíci +22

    you should check out scissors - slipknot

  • @iamchrisrath
    @iamchrisrath Před 4 měsíci

    I watched all your reaction videos over and over and I literally am in stitches at the faces you pull 😂 thank you for making these, I actually got more out of the music after hearing your perspective, although your reactions left me in stitches 😂 God bless you, you're an angel

  • @Justin-nq6kf
    @Justin-nq6kf Před 5 měsíci +15

    This whole concert DVD is worth checking out its called Disasterpieces. Had this shit on DVD back in the day it was actually 2 DVDs.
    The songs Disasterpiece and Heretic Anthem are the other 2 popular videos from this performance. This is their prime.

    • @Oakwise86
      @Oakwise86 Před 5 měsíci

      I still have it in mint condition

    • @dheijnemans
      @dheijnemans Před měsícem

      They may well be approaching their second prime. But we'll have to wait and see what Eloy brings in terms of song writing.

  • @niteshade8546
    @niteshade8546 Před měsícem

    I’ve seen a couple now. This is the first I felt like commenting. This format is oddly comforting because I wouldn’t have guessed I would like this. Doing a run through on the channel now.

  • @sebastiank4211
    @sebastiank4211 Před 5 měsíci +8

    This concert also available on DVD is regarding energy and brutal performance imho their best at their peak and darkest point. Love your reaction and analysis

  • @sparshrastogi2646
    @sparshrastogi2646 Před 3 měsíci

    Slipknot’s music helped me through some dark times and it helps to channel my anger and rage positively. Thanks for reacting to the song and providing good analysis! Subbed!

  • @matthewcombs6993
    @matthewcombs6993 Před 5 měsíci

    An absolutely amazing breakdown of this song. Love this band for so many reasons

  • @randomblabber5209
    @randomblabber5209 Před 2 měsíci

    Literally my new favorite channel! Slipknot played a huge part in my strange teenage days IOWA was a fucking masterpiece

  • @jasonsamms6661
    @jasonsamms6661 Před 5 měsíci

    You picked the right video. disasterpieces was me favorite when i was young.

  • @KoopaTroopa013
    @KoopaTroopa013 Před 5 měsíci

    Of all my time listening to slipknot and shows I’ve gone to, never would’ve considered this perspective when it comes to this song. Love this reaction and breakdown, I love that you’re actually aware of background when it comes to the band themselves. Keep it up 👏

  • @davidmartin2631
    @davidmartin2631 Před 3 měsíci

    Thank you for helping me understand that key line in the bridge! I never knew there was any hope in this song.. just thought it was venting, but i like it even more now.

  • @Masshew69
    @Masshew69 Před měsícem +1

    The only therapist I've seen dive into slipknot and what they mean. Props to you.

  • @sherrydesort9220
    @sherrydesort9220 Před 5 měsíci

    This is great content keep it up

  • @Bolacha0000
    @Bolacha0000 Před 5 měsíci +34

    Personally, when i was going to a really bad place mentally, i was almost to the point of "ending myself"...This is the music that got me through that. And it is the reason i chose that mask to be tattoed in me, in a homage to that, to the feeling i was going through, and managed to not do it.
    "It never stops you can't be everything to everyone
    Contagion, I'm sittin' at be side of Satan
    What do you want from me?
    They never told me the failure I was meant to be, yea
    Overdo it don't tell me you blew it
    Stop your bitchin' and fight your way through it
    I'm not like you, I just fuck up"

    • @Bolacha0000
      @Bolacha0000 Před 5 měsíci

      Also, im still wishing for the day i manage a meet and greet with Corey so he can sign my left leg to match his mask on my right one.

  • @julesroulette9447
    @julesroulette9447 Před 5 měsíci

    your analysis is pretty much spot on. 👌

  • @robbuechner3647
    @robbuechner3647 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I've seen the last 3 tours, boy can they put on a show!!!

  • @HookDrumTracks
    @HookDrumTracks Před 5 měsíci +4

    I love watching non-metal heads moving and grooving to a song like this. Well done.

  • @rosettastone741
    @rosettastone741 Před 4 měsíci

    As someone who listens to metal whenever I feel "down", this channel has added a whole new layer to these songs that I listen to on a regular basis.
    I really appreciate all you guys/gals behind this channel 👍
    Thank you! 💯

  • @iaranda1985
    @iaranda1985 Před 4 měsíci

    And by the way: thank you for the Therapy Session. You & Slipknot opened my eyes to fight my way through it! 🎶🎵🎶

  • @scotthatcher5043
    @scotthatcher5043 Před 5 měsíci

    Exactly how I live my life !!! Great job Doc

  • @lubiegracwgry3625
    @lubiegracwgry3625 Před 3 měsíci

    Jo I love this channel

  • @the11theleven
    @the11theleven Před 5 měsíci

    Awesome vid!

  • @stewarthainey3751
    @stewarthainey3751 Před 2 měsíci

    Not heard a reaction/explanation like this before. Brilliant.

  • @noahcolberg2670
    @noahcolberg2670 Před 5 měsíci +2

    This is about EXACTLY, how I’d want a therapy session to go. Rock on honey❤️💪🏽

  • @razorrawb
    @razorrawb Před měsícem

    As an OG maggot from 99 you absolutely nailed it!!! i actually remember doing a research paper in high school for my english class on the meaning of slipknot lyrics and just everything they were all about! it was bigger than any of us thought! hell bigger than them!!!!! this is my favorite channel now! MUSIC REALLY IS THERAPY!!!

  • @freddiewebb2400
    @freddiewebb2400 Před 5 měsíci +15

    Not enough people react to this concert - arguably one of Slipknots best in my opinion! Iowa era Slipknot was the best. Great content and insight as always thanks!

    • @istiak.hossain
      @istiak.hossain Před měsícem

      There can't be any bigger Slipknot fan than myself, and my people around me knows this shit since 2003! They were forced to know btw.. :p
      And I completely second your opinion, LIVE IN LONDON, Docklands Arena is the GREATEST LIVE CONCERT VIDEO I've ever seen! & not just of Slipknot!

  • @willwick3752
    @willwick3752 Před 3 měsíci

    Spot on! This album got me through & helped me control or ward off my severe depression. it came out during 10th grade for me. I still use it for personal therapy.

  • @dinadiheraliyawala
    @dinadiheraliyawala Před 4 měsíci +1

    She is the coolest therapist I've ever seen 🤟🖤

  • @rodrigocampo9014
    @rodrigocampo9014 Před 3 měsíci

    Awesome hability to search and find the "gift line" in every Slipknot song...
    Respect...!!!

  • @juanpablobadino4349
    @juanpablobadino4349 Před 5 měsíci

    I can't believe how after so many years of listening to this song how on my own I came to understand the meaning of some lines, but at the same time completely mindf* by your analysis. Interesting. Really interesting!

  • @unsainted804
    @unsainted804 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Its beatiful❤

  • @chuckd1586
    @chuckd1586 Před 4 měsíci

    Damn... nice breakdown!

  • @zombiespongebob6903
    @zombiespongebob6903 Před 5 měsíci +1

    my personal favorite slipknot song... means so much in todays time

  • @JustinWilliams-ud1lw
    @JustinWilliams-ud1lw Před 4 měsíci

    I connect so much with the message in this song

  • @jonathanroofner2375
    @jonathanroofner2375 Před 3 měsíci

    I LOVE how into it you are

  • @robertdegraaf6430
    @robertdegraaf6430 Před 5 měsíci

    It’s exactly about those words, that’s why I’m still here, for me it has been a mantra for many fuckin years. It’s about discipline. Not ever give up. Really cool you mention these words (stop your… through it). Really cool!

  • @Shawn-kk7tb
    @Shawn-kk7tb Před 8 dny

    I just want to say huge Slipknot fan I am. My favorite band. Having said that I don’t always hear their lyrics but the ones I do I can’t put into perspective the way you just did. You are very intelligent. Very impressive feedback on this song.

  • @_infiniteplane_2781
    @_infiniteplane_2781 Před 5 měsíci +2

    This song has saved lives.
    It has been a favorite since 2001, original maggot here.

  • @BrianMeyers-yl3om
    @BrianMeyers-yl3om Před 4 měsíci

    XD you heard this, nice. Corey would be pleased. watched a few vids of yours. This react sold me.... i'll subscribe. Keep going.

  • @Remmy-iq3bs
    @Remmy-iq3bs Před 5 měsíci

    One of there best tunes. This song has saved me from when it first came out and still does. After being bullied Hate and made fun of and feeling like nothing. Protect yourself from bullies and your own negative thoughts. For me it helped me. Some people are shit. You just have to fight anyway but absolutely still help
    Others.

  • @stevenwiseblood2060
    @stevenwiseblood2060 Před 9 dny

    This is just one of these songs and performance that helps my mind getting quieter.

  • @bruceredwine8185
    @bruceredwine8185 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Wow someone actually listened to the song I watch reaction videos allot because I like to laugh at smart people being ignorant! But you actually got it most of Slipknot songs are not negative! It warms my heart to know that some people are not sheep! You got a new subscriber and I never comment, ever! I appreciate you for not judging you are welcome in the metal community!

  • @brandonsimmons1695
    @brandonsimmons1695 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I’ll never forget discovering Slipknot at Hot Topic when you could sample CDs. This was the first song and I froze in place and thought I needed to run to church. I then purchased it and have been hooked ever since

  • @friendly__drone9352
    @friendly__drone9352 Před 4 měsíci +1

    It's so interesting hearing a therapist dissect the lyrics that so many people use to "process" or release their frustration, anger. and sadness. And her energy is so good!
    The video editor doing a little trolling. Love it!

  • @joekirkham9891
    @joekirkham9891 Před měsícem

    Cool and good video

  • @skarlottt
    @skarlottt Před 5 měsíci

    So amazing I have missed them entirely during this time.

  • @fuzz428
    @fuzz428 Před 4 měsíci

    I’m glad you did the live disasterpiece version. My steering wheel has heard this version a lot in traffic

  • @angelsotomayor8741
    @angelsotomayor8741 Před 14 dny

    I wish I was at this London show insane but I was definitely at 2001 ozzfest 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @seminole17910
    @seminole17910 Před 4 měsíci

    7:00. My favorite part. I love when you rock out! It's awesome! 😍🤩 Interesting take on the song too. I never thought of it this way or dug to deep into it. "Slipknot" helps me manage my anger. It's very cathartic for me as is most metal music.

  • @jasonreis1337
    @jasonreis1337 Před 5 měsíci +1

    This is the best reaction video ever!

    • @Polyuncoki
      @Polyuncoki Před 5 měsíci

      I agree, love her analysing this shit. Also you can tell she is intune with herself and vibing fully.

  • @HarryzjEEE
    @HarryzjEEE Před 5 měsíci +11

    I think that whole bridge before "Stop your bitching and fight your way through it", has a lot to break down in it -
    "You can't be everything to everyone"
    "They never told me the failure I was meant to be"
    Are a couple of notable lines from it that stand out a lot too

  • @leggythe4th399
    @leggythe4th399 Před 5 měsíci

    I was at this gig , this is when Slipknot firmly put their place on the map . Great show 👏🏻

  • @tanitam.7838
    @tanitam.7838 Před 5 měsíci

    That song helped me get through rough days and bullying years ago. It's my fav song of them and Slipknot helped me deal with BPD better. They saved my life with their music.

  • @the70bbe
    @the70bbe Před měsícem

    One of my favorites.

  • @NogrimStoneson
    @NogrimStoneson Před 4 měsíci

    as a long term fan who got in to these guys at the start, this song dropped when i was mid teens going through a horrible family situation, and your introductory explanation was on the nail head.
    i was so angry i knew i shouldn't be around other people the goal was insulating myself for other peoples well being.

  • @deletado12
    @deletado12 Před měsícem +1

    Joey is insane in the groove, always!

  • @rhondaamodio342
    @rhondaamodio342 Před 3 měsíci

    I need this Therpist in my life!!!

  • @Count_Jacula
    @Count_Jacula Před 5 měsíci +1

    Id love to hear the breakdown from your point of view on metabolic an Disaterpiece

  • @babyracoon6493
    @babyracoon6493 Před 5 měsíci +1

    would love to see you react to their self-titled album!!

  • @bencoolenyama4274
    @bencoolenyama4274 Před 4 měsíci

    Nice interpretation

  • @indchang958
    @indchang958 Před 4 měsíci

    This one earns you my sub.

  • @mississippimartialartist9609

    this song change my life and made my life better

  • @Gyropilot42
    @Gyropilot42 Před 3 měsíci

    How did I just see two such awesome things at the same time?
    I love the song, but I didn't expect to be hit with this much insightful commentary
    No stretch in logic was taken, just brilliant perception

  • @user-df5sq9nv2h
    @user-df5sq9nv2h Před 4 měsíci

    You are great, more Slipknots reactions pleasee!

  • @elwood4965
    @elwood4965 Před 4 měsíci

    you have made me have a different look at this song. Between Tool and Slipknot being 2 of my top bands im loving your reactions and explanations from a physc point of view.

  • @Competitive_Antagonist
    @Competitive_Antagonist Před 3 měsíci

    I see one video by this person and now my feed is flooded with them.

  • @donkane7308
    @donkane7308 Před 4 měsíci

    God this is great. From their DVD disasterpiece. Thanx for bringing me back to 02. I watched that video so many times. Anyway you should have listened to the album version. You also need to understand the state this band was in during the early 00s.

  • @andrejsandal2382
    @andrejsandal2382 Před 2 měsíci

    Brilliant analysis, there is a certain sense of safety and security I found in anger, hostility and general misanthropy. Better not risk getting abused again, right? But the constant hyper-vigilance starts taking a toll sooner rather than later, both on my psyche and my outward life.