What happens when you take your power back from a narcissist?

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  • čas přidán 5. 08. 2024
  • Dealing with narcissistic people can be emotionally and mentally taxing. The tend to control and manipulate others to maintain their sense of superiority. But when someone begins to reclaim their sense of self, their sense of power, they can start putting their energy where it needs to be, using it more effectively.
    This video discusses what happens when someone no longer hides their true talents and capabilities, when they find their voice and begin to make decisions in their own best interest. Looking at it from the perspective of both the narcissistic person, and the one who will no longer be controlled.
    00:00 Intro
    00:58 Narcissism
    01:36 Narcissistic Reactions
    05:35 Benefits of taking control
    08:50 Summery
    10:30 Conclusion
    Why people hide their true capabilities around narcissists
    • Why people hide their ...
    The long term cost of hiding your true self from a narcissist
    • What happens when you ...
    Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse: Finding your voice, finding your way
    czcams.com/users/liveKEHqMZltgLE
    If you find this video interesting please consider supporting me on Patreon or Substack
    / dfmagee
    darrenfmagee.substack.com/
    #mentalhealth #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism

Komentáře • 68

  • @DarrenFMagee
    @DarrenFMagee  Před 4 měsíci +6

    The transcript of this video is now available on my Substack. darrenfmagee.substack.com/p/reclaiming-your-power

    • @JaneSmith.9941
      @JaneSmith.9941 Před 4 měsíci

      I would very much like to see someone do a series on the affect of using specific, popular marriage/relationship books/ programs when you're dealing with a Narcissist. Particularly "Love & Respect" and "The 5 Love Languages".

  • @BobTheSchipperke
    @BobTheSchipperke Před 4 měsíci +72

    They get worse, but you get better.

    • @tmking7483
      @tmking7483 Před 4 měsíci +3

      I'm going to help them become self aware through being more assertive _ Nark bites in reverse.
      ( reverse engineering _ take apart the whole and wait for the humpty dumpty to put themself back together again.)
      Free Will for MeMe and for YOU_U.

    • @AnonAnon1
      @AnonAnon1 Před 4 měsíci +4

      They got worse because you got better

    • @demonicusa.k.a.theblindguy3929
      @demonicusa.k.a.theblindguy3929 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Yep.✌️

  • @ricardajames5769
    @ricardajames5769 Před 4 měsíci +36

    It is extremely hard to recover from a narcissistic mother, but I'm on my spiritual healing journey 🙏 ❤. Thank you, Darren

  • @Benjaminleo815
    @Benjaminleo815 Před 4 měsíci +20

    Simply saying no after 20yrs of YES started months of silent treatment which has been GLORIOUS.

  • @WelcomeToOzzy
    @WelcomeToOzzy Před 4 měsíci +4

    I can't help but listen to a man that has those amazing iconic space ships behind him!

  • @justChrisjones
    @justChrisjones Před 4 měsíci +17

    I wish I had run for help at the first clues. Don't ignore your instinct. I did not have family to understand. But doctors perhaps could have helped.
    When they really think you are figuring them out is when it becomes dangerous in some cases. Like mine, he became horrifically terrorizing and I was officially kidnapped. 😢10 more years.

    • @Fishsticks007
      @Fishsticks007 Před 4 měsíci

      No disrespect but your comment made me think how Narcissistic abuse is a literal and figurative kidnapping. They entrap and cut one off from all other information. They become sole source of information and thus wield all the control. They run the narrative. Period. They answer ALL questions.

  • @roccafille
    @roccafille Před 4 měsíci +20

    This was just the reminder that was needed that i've grown so much and am on the right path. Thank you Darren!!

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f Před 4 měsíci +15

    Healing takes time, patience and pain but it’s worth every effort ❤ thank you Darren 😊 God bless you ❤

  • @imnoel8214
    @imnoel8214 Před 4 měsíci +20

    This is sound encouragement. Often I need to remember to be patient with myself and just keep moving forward. Darren, I just noticed your first video was almost four years ago, on April 22. Way to go! Thank you for this channel.

  • @1MNUTZ
    @1MNUTZ Před 4 měsíci +11

    I found that even when you do recover that the battle keeps going its just the devil keeps coming up with new tricks and sending new covert agents to get you right back in his trap.

    • @cyberninjasworld
      @cyberninjasworld Před 4 měsíci +1

      Yes this has happened to me

    • @1MNUTZ
      @1MNUTZ Před 3 měsíci +1

      @penijoni1316 you can catch evil spirits just by being around someone who has them if you dont have your spiritual armor on.

    • @mimimckenna7286
      @mimimckenna7286 Před 3 měsíci +3

      So true .. But I've noticed my antenna is up now.. I don't let it get past polite conversation now, I can sense it and walk away and refuse to give them the time of day..

  • @user-bn2st5kx8h
    @user-bn2st5kx8h Před 4 měsíci +11

    Covert narcs are the worst

  • @annrobinson7766
    @annrobinson7766 Před 4 měsíci +2

    That first sentence. Said everything to me.

  • @paulcoverdale8312
    @paulcoverdale8312 Před 4 měsíci +16

    For me it’s was like loosing a cloak of shit!
    Bits of it dripped away quickly an other memories have taken longer.
    Feels like several tons of shit gone.
    Thanks for all you do👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏💯💯💯💎💎💎🪬🪬🪬🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

  • @lydiagibas114
    @lydiagibas114 Před 4 měsíci +9

    This is a great series of talks. 💯

  • @user-hl9yt9vi3i
    @user-hl9yt9vi3i Před 4 měsíci +10

    Thank you very much, explains many things

  • @belladonna3249
    @belladonna3249 Před 15 dny +2

    What a truly inspirational video! I love how you go beyond what the narc does to the personal development of the 'victim'. Also recognising in myself how much healing I have managed to do! I feel cheered on! Yay Me! Thanks Darren ❤

  • @privateprivate8366
    @privateprivate8366 Před 4 měsíci +6

    I’m in the midst of it, legally. When my malignant narcissistic sister started an email sentence with, “If it weren’t for me…” that’s when I turned on the TV.
    She was trying to give herself and em ur upon me, her power. Power over what? Ensuring that mom died, in the living conditions you never helped her to improve? Skipping off with the family business website, where I know you miss orders, anger customers and can barely update the website I built? Or is it that the door to the house I inherited, is barely functional, by you kicking it in? I guess I need to be grateful, for everything you’ve done. Please do no more. You’ll be in jail, if you do.

  • @josjeboeve
    @josjeboeve Před 4 měsíci +8

    thanks again!👍

  • @bonniehaney573
    @bonniehaney573 Před 4 měsíci +3

    He has started putting me down in front of our family and people at church. I confronted him and he said I needed to be knocked down below him. He knows he can’t control me any more and is looking for other ways to betray me.

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Před 5 dny +2

      This also happened to me. We'd be eating lunch with friends after church service and he would get up without saying a word. I'd check on him after a couple minutes and discover he'd gone to the restroom and then walked out the side door, towards the parking lot! Without a word! One Sunday he drove to service and I had to come a little bit later, to meet him for the main service. When I got there, I couldn't find him. A friend said he had walked out the back, and he'd just left! He did a few other stunts where we'd be sitting together and he'd just get up and walk out without a word, leave me there. After an hour, he would send me a text message saying he had a meeting to go to...😢 I was really surprised at his brazeness at church.

  • @martinhodgson1996
    @martinhodgson1996 Před 4 měsíci +4

    We need a close up of the Star Trek display cabinet.

  • @fidelmashelton9491
    @fidelmashelton9491 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Thank you so much Darren. So hard to deal with and get worse with age, especially the covert type tends to get more overt over time.

  • @davidthomspson9771
    @davidthomspson9771 Před 4 měsíci +6

    Like your models in your display case

  • @fairygurl9269
    @fairygurl9269 Před 4 měsíci +4

    Smiles Gratitude & Much Peace

  • @rosalynmoyle3766
    @rosalynmoyle3766 Před 3 měsíci +2

    Thank you for this presentation

  • @Mochi-fc6uy
    @Mochi-fc6uy Před 3 měsíci +2

    Just simple 🙏 for your wisdom sharing

  • @artinconstruction9070
    @artinconstruction9070 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Great video Darren, I admire your content,
    Thank you 🙏

  • @Xenophanes198
    @Xenophanes198 Před 4 měsíci +1

    This was an excellebt series. Thank you, Darren. You've been an invaluable resource the last 8 months as I recover from and try to make sense of my relationship with my ex narc. I also really appreciate your calming and relaxing voice. Many thanks!!

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Im going to be MY AWSOME SELF!

  • @ivoconceicao666
    @ivoconceicao666 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Thank you

  • @fairygurl9269
    @fairygurl9269 Před 4 měsíci +2

    There Was a Funny Short Where The FireDept Answers Call From A Guy Suffering an Allergic Reaction From Peanuts Only to Discover Him Horking Down a Jar of Peanut Butter and Drinking Benadryl 😋
    If It Makes You Sick Dont Keep Consuming It.

  • @mimimckenna7286
    @mimimckenna7286 Před 3 měsíci +2

    Starting to wonder if there's a university these ppl attend and exams they have to pass to attain the title of narcissist.. they all seem to have the same MO and I keep wondering how they manage to have the energy for it.. it's so exhausting..so calculating.. why would anyone spend that much time and energy on something that is going to be their ultimate demise in the end.. but it seems with most it's their first and only go to

  • @jagibaba
    @jagibaba Před 4 měsíci +1

    Refuse to believe the lies about yourself, especially the subtle between the lines ones. Refuse to believe because it creeps up on you, especially if it's been years. Remind yourself of your worth, talents and your ability to stand alone DAILY, repeat it like a mantra even if you don't believe it at times . Fake it until you make it.

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Před 5 dny +1

      There's no need to fake it. We all have inherent worth, whether another person recognizes it or not.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 Před 3 měsíci +2

    He left me too bad

  • @jesperandersson889
    @jesperandersson889 Před 4 měsíci

    what a ludic description of what life should be despite the energy theives out there

  • @NothusDeusVagus
    @NothusDeusVagus Před 4 měsíci +1

    I might've missed an episode so please direct me to that video if my questions are already covered in it. In this instance, I speak of a situation where one recognises that another, say one's colleague or maybe even one's supervisor has and exhibits narcissistic tendencies/behaviours and rather than have to contend directly with that person or play into their hands, one chooses to conceal their true self until such times as it is no longer necessary to be in contact with or be under the influence of that individual?
    I consider myself to be a reasonable person and so by some reckoning a reasonably easy person to get along with. I've spent a good deal of my professional life working in both the retail industry and also the security industry which means I've experienced many people who might consider themselves as being under stress, as these people can be when they've ended up in the complaints department. I've seen and have dealt with people at their less than best but as a result of this interpretation I've written many of them as merely having a bad day and myself being too lazy to carry grudges, I've often chosen to leave it alone and move on.
    After having listened to some of your videos it occurs to me that I might've been in regular and relatively close quarters with quite a few people over the years who either were Narcissists or at least shared such traits and at that time I either didn't notice or didn't care that much or maybe they just didn't notice me as a threat to their world view and so didn't react to me in a controlling or hostile manner. I've never really saw them as a threat to mine... What does that say about me? Oblivious? Ignorant?
    I've long held to the understanding that whilst I can't easily control how others may think, feel, perceive or conduct themselves around me, I can at least control my self especially where these issues are concerned. It could be that through this passive method of self-defence, situations that might've otherwise resulted in someone arcing up may have been mitigated if not entirely diffused.
    Something worked because during my time in either industry I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to actively contend with overly enthusiastic persons and my professional reputation amongst my employers and colleagues was always as someone who got the job done with as little fuss or bother as was possible... In an industry that was largely word of mouth, I kept on being called back so maybe I was doing something right or maybe I was just rather lucky or maybe a combination of both.
    I've enjoyed the videos of yours that I've seen so far and I'll go out of my way to see some more. thankyou for your efforts and in guiding me to some insights in those around me.

  • @josiah5776
    @josiah5776 Před 4 měsíci

    Both my mother and former father-in-law were covert narcs. All of this is spot on. My father was a grandiose narc, and most of it matches him too.

  • @PenninkJacob
    @PenninkJacob Před 4 měsíci

  • @tanyakashyap6944
    @tanyakashyap6944 Před 4 měsíci +2

    💛🌲💛🌲

  • @symbolsandsystems
    @symbolsandsystems Před 4 měsíci

    narcissists see others as territory
    psychopaths see others as food

  • @SoniaProteau-cj6tk
    @SoniaProteau-cj6tk Před 4 měsíci

    I prefer to remain blind 😂 I m nothing like my family that s why I got out of the way

  • @Antonypradeepcan
    @Antonypradeepcan Před 4 měsíci +1

    Can you check out flower medicines? This might help victims.

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Roman soldiers would smell Roman Chamomile flowers before a battle for a boost of courage and energy. It does calm and ground you. Smells nice too. Then there is another flower with many medicinal benefits but has been maligned for decades.

    • @michignamymichigan
      @michignamymichigan Před 4 měsíci +1

      I 🧡 thyme. The smell, the mild flavor.

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Před 5 dny +1

      Why do you think Darren should check it out? You should check it out, if you're interested in it! Aromatherapy is a valid therapy, as are essential oils. But since I have lots of food and plant allergies, I became a homeopath, as Homeopathy is nutritional, 12 essential mineral salts already in your body, so you can't be allergic to them. It's a very profound healing system that I've relied on for the last 16 years.

    • @Antonypradeepcan
      @Antonypradeepcan Před 5 dny

      @@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 indeed I have flower medicine! The reason I requested Darren to check out because, mindsets can be changed for good from flower remedies. So is NPD.

  • @jimyost2585
    @jimyost2585 Před 4 měsíci

    They Ghost you (that's what my ex did to me even though I made a lot of attempts to talk to her). I haven't talked to her since the day after I left her which was on July 30, 2016.

    • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
      @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Před 5 dny +2

      You left her? So why do you think she would EVER want to talk to you?

    • @jimyost2585
      @jimyost2585 Před 5 dny

      @@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 ~ She wasn't talking to me much at all for months before I left her so when she ghosted me I was already acclimated to her silent treatment. But I still love her which makes it an unusual situation. I think she actually did love me for the first ten years of our seventeen year relationship, but then she started going through menopause and over a period of a few years of that she became a completely different person. Her adult daughter noticed it and commented about it more than once. We were both worried about the way her behavior changed so much. It took me about five years to get completely over it.

  • @tanyakashyap6944
    @tanyakashyap6944 Před 4 měsíci

    💛🌲💛🌲