How To Read People Without Them Knowing
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- čas přidán 18. 06. 2024
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Fans love Sherlock Holmes for his ability to notice things that most people ignore. While Sherlock is a fictional character, there are ways you can learn to read people in real life to better understand what they’re thinking and feeling without them saying a word. No individual read will be foolproof, but together they can start to paint a picture for you.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro.
0:56 - #1: Reading other people's interest.
1:45 - #2: Take note of the direction someone's feet are pointing.
3:12 - #3: Read their emotions.
3:49 - #4: Look for micro expressions on their face.
5:54 - #5: Their breathing shifts from their belly to their chest.
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#SherlockHolmes #CharismaOnCommand
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Robert Downey Jr's micro expressions are real obvious. You can tell that he's just like "I really don't want to talk about this. I'm here to talk about a movie, not my personal life. Please stop."
there are small elements of that feeling that we pick up on mostly intuitively. But he does things like pull up his nose (think of smelling a bad door), which is a disgust reaction, he squints his eyes briefly several times, and his lips drop as was pointed out in the video. Oh and he's trying to fight the urge to raise or furrow his eyebrows (raise in shock, furrow in anger). He's raises his nose in disgust when he's thinking "How dare this guy ask me this, how dare he betray my trust so cheaply", he's squinting when he's wondering what angle this scum bag might have, how he might be trying to rile him up into a poor reaction, and is sizing him up. He drops his lips when he's reliving memories he'd rather not experience, which immediately precedes the intensified breathing as those feelings trigger his flight or fight response. RDJ is weighing up his professional obligations and his desire to leave the entire time. The self control required to be able to think at all in those sorts of confrontations is intense.
Sherlock was quite interested in People's Profession and he would sometimes deduce it through people's handshakes, haircuts and so on.
Surgeons (doctors) and Musicians tend to have a softer handshake because their hands are very important for their work.
Military people usually have great posture and short haircuts.
People who do extensive manual labor, their dominant hand is usually noticeably bigger.
Kindergarden teachers potentially have dirty clothes near the knees area.
good job sherlock-kun
Mentalists like Derren Brown excel in using the cold reading techniques that you are describing. The skill of cold reading is also common among politicians, actors, psychics, etc.
@@error5753 and pickup artists
i am a musician so i know that if you look at someone hands, you can usually deduct what instrument they are playing. Pianists usually have very soft hands, people who play string instruments have rough fingertips from playing, guitarist (idk if this applies to all but I noticed in some of them) have a longer thumb fingernail.
I want to pin this comment.
The RDJ interview will forever make me feel uncomfortable.
What i thought to say " let's keep this professional and about the movies success" usually the interview is always about a project and not about a personal conflict like divorce,past drug issues or who the celeb is dating. And this is neutral not an attack
I don't think that RDJ Interviewer didn't or couldn't read the signs. I think he could and he did. He was fully aware of what he's doing and he pushed on any way.
Yep. I'm almost positive I've seen him do the same thing in another interview with someone else. What a tool.
Humans are strange creatures’
Yes but is a good example to use. Perfect example.
totally spot on.... the guy is a tw@t... he's had other similar interviews... ambush tactics for sesational reaction...
,,Not every hard swallow is a sign of dishonesty"
Why is that the most important lesson, I've learned from this.
😪 clearly u watch too much porn cause u lonely n scared to approach women respectfully
It's a meme, not a d*ck, don't take it so hard B-)
@@bugeye8749 what the frick are women?
@@Astavyastataa your mom
your personality = memes....
"There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact"
---Arthur Conan Doyle,
‘I love you’
Have you read the short book "The Present" yet? It's available free here. Just go to the website: globaltruthproject.com- click on the entry called “The Present.” What it says will turn this world around if it reaches enough people. You will see what I mean when you read the first page.
@@apogaliev2939 who's the author
Is it not 'elusive' rather than 'deceptive' ? Feel free to correct me if i'm wrong.
"People point their feet towards the things/people they like"
That's the reason why a dead guy at a funeral points at the sky
Best comment
Lol
😂
@@rexaustin2885 facts
“Lie to Me” is also a great show to watch to learn nonverbal cues. I watched all 3 seasons multiple times to practice learning subtle gestures. Plus Tim Roth was a great actor
Thanks I'll check it out
@@nihalm2684 I was SOOOOO angry when it just ended in the middle of the season right after a huge character development scene RUDE
You might like the book, Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell.
Pamela Gaudet Wth?! I was at my doctors appointment today and we were talking about this exact book!
The ability to read people well can be a blessing and a curse. People who can lie and cry simultaneously have the power to dance around dragons with a straight face 😊
Huh I had a fake friend who was this. She lied well, decieving most everyone, but not me. But when confronted she burst out of tears so that we would get in trouble (we were schol aged then)
@@aarna6853 Damn, you had those skills in school, noice.
This is very true. Anyone raised in an abusive environment quickly learns to read people, even if it's subconscious.
very wise
That’s how I got out of mandatory military service lol
that's the frailty of genius, john. it needs an audience
The interviewer knew full well that Robert Downey Jr. was uncomfortable. He just didn't care.
Which is likely why RDJ had no problem handling him like a chump.
An honest mistake is one thing. But he literally couldn’t have made it clearer that the dude was treading on thin ice, and that it was rapidly getting thinner. Man just figured he’d plow on anyways, and wound up taking a cold bath in RDJ’s contempt.
That interviewer stepped right into one of the pitfalls of interviewing... He presumed that it's somehow a reporter's duty to make interviewees uncomfortable. There's a fairly popular myth that "Good reporters ask hard questions"... AND that's not exactly the way it works.
Watch a bunch of interviews, both great and awful, and you'll notice the best interviewers made the space feel comfortable enough for the interviewees to open up. Some interviewees even gave up unsolicited personal information without even being asked...
...not because a reporter kept probing...
...but because the interviewee felt safe in revealing.
If you're asking someone difficult questions, you have to be careful. It's easy to cause them to "clam up" and just refuse to share anything anymore... and even the hardest boiled detective runs out of tricks when the communication just gets cut off. Your "subject" can't be lying to you so you can read anything if he doesn't say anything at all. One sides conversations get you nowhere... and they don't take their time about it.
...remember that. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Exactly. This dude makes it absolutely clear it's about his career and ego
scoring "points" with his professional circle and that he really doesn't give a damn about his interviewee. Nobody wants to deal with an asshat like that.
@@JamesRDavenport You are correct, up to the point that he'd be fired in half the "professional interviewing circles" I've known... You get no points for not getting answers. THAT is basic "101 stuff" or even high school level.
Some people can get by with being a bit of an asshat. Most of us can't...
It's just worth pointing out, this guy has no excuse for not noticing how uncomfortable he was making the whole room... NOR does he deserve a pass for deviating so hard away from the promotion, when we ALL know that was the whole point of arranging the interview in the first place... "epic fail"
Some bosses might let one screwed up interview pass... BUT not most of them, and certainly not this badly. ;o)
The lessons from watching CoC videos are absorbed and then acted out without thinking about them. I don't need to take notes and consciously remember to act a certain way. And this is why I appreciate the sheer output of this channel - gives me a lot to work with.
You mentioned people stand ridged when they're uncomfortable. Subconsciously I somehow always knew this tell. There was a girl in High School that I was interested in. We talked a lot, we got along well, and there were other tells as well that I was picking up on as well. She was making eye contact, but would look down at my lips while I was speaking, she'd giggle nervously, and her cheeks would flush.
Me being the teenage boy filled with confidence, I broke the touch barrier by taking her hands into mine while subtly implying that she should follow me down a hallway before classes started for the day. Instantly, she seized up. She went ridged and her smile dropped. I thought I had misread the situation. Unfortunately, I read it correctly the first time. It was years later when she told me over Instant Messenger that she had a crush on me, and she thought I wasn't interested in her because I let her go after she seized up.
Morale of the story is, when someone is uncomfortable, it's not always for the reasons you think. Turns out she was preparing herself for a serious make out session, and I read it as her getting ready to tell me I was in the friend zone. Such is life...
I started dating a girl and on our 2nd date, we were on a Ferris wheel, I reached over, put my arm around her and tried to pull her closer. She stiffened up so I backed off... We spent the rest of the evening together and I didn't do anything, she seemed stiff for the rest of the evening.
When I took her home, I walked her to the door, I think I kissed her on the cheek and said, "Thank you, take care!" She stopped me. She told me that she really likes me, just sometimes has trouble letting people to get close to her. She ask me to give her another chance. We dated for 5 years after that!
I’m not sure to congratulate you or send my condolences
Arent you thinking of maybe getting back to her?
Aww that's kinda... :(
@@greencertifiedweb Thanks for sharing that experience..brings back memories. :)
Usually the *smallest movements and signs* are a _big_ hint about how people are feeling.
You don't just need Sherlock's observation skills, you also need to have enough knowledge in almost everything to guess correctly.
Read a lot, enjoy learning and have the kind of memory to retain as much of it as possible.
Soooo happy you finally did this! I remember requesting this over a year or two ago. Sherlock is one of my favorite shows! ❤
“Crime is common. Logic is rare.”
Interpersonal tact requires the ability to read the room.
E.V.A V2000
😉
Rigid body is a deceiving sign. Is the sign of discomfort but it may be due to high affection for example. Or uncertainty.
Omg actually love Sherlock so much very helpful thank you can’t wait to use these tips
Omg I’ve ALWAYS wanted to watch a video like this- yes! I’m so excited to watch this- Sherlock is AMAZING!
I (probably being on the spectrum but not growing up in a household that promoted such ideals of mental health for the high functioning) got really good at reading body language. My attention to detail and the smallest things and watching sherlock deduce things paired really well for me in learning more about people. I became and still am really really good at reading people generally speaking. I still have other struggles but body language doesn't lie. I just haaate making eye contact. I found that focusing on the bridge of the nose makes the person perceive eye contact, and equally allows me to asses the micro changes of the face well enough to generally understand what they mean - almost to well at times. This video is a nice collective of what I've been able to intuitively guess at for a long time.
Sherlock Holmes is my favorite and inspiration when I have a conversation on anyone. In fact I had used the point you given and they shock every word I said. Thanks for the video guide to improve my skills and I love it.
Please make part 2 on this please it helps helps me a lot
Oh thank you, i was waiting for Benedict's from a long time.
Thank you times 100
YEEES!! This book is amazing! It change my life, really!
That book is very helpful to learn how to build rapport with anyone. I've used some of the tactics and practices in the book on my coworkers and it works like magic. Really awesome to see how it applys to real life
oddly enough i already did these, but it's pretty cool learning that these are helpful/good!
I've waited for this video for so long
Yes! Finally, a Sherlock vid...
this is brilliant!!
I HAVE NEVER CLICKED THAT FAST
Excellent advice. I also use this channel to pick Netflix shows I can watch that will teach me inter personal skills while being entertaining at the same time.
Yes! Thank you so much for this
Ooo I was getting so stoked on applying these to my own bodies observations, cheers for suggesting that mind control is best first and foremost applied to ones self Jocko willink wisdom
Opened up french captions and now i can read anyone in french!
Really was waiting for a BBC sherlock breakdown , been a great fan❤ , Thank You Ben...
Wow this is one of your best videos
this was the most awaited video on this channel
The best video since Ben started doing videos again.
Great Video! Love the topic!
Big thank you so much
More videos like this about Sherlock, please
Amazing one started this book yesterday
thanks for time stamps
Wow! Very good episode 🔥 !
07:34 - i am on the cusp of finishing it as we speak and can atest it's a very good book/read.
Thank you!!
This was a great video.
Gotta take a moment to appreciate your editing
5:17 That's My Sherlock Holmes , He applied it in real life 🥰
I Loved Guy Ritchie's Movies more than Series
I hope this video all my life THANKS
Great job.
Love this video
The book that is recomended at the end is GOLD
God knows how long I've waited for a tutorial like this
every since I watched Sherlock, I've started to pay attention on...everything. Obviously I can't be as good as Sherlock :D like...never, but I still can practice (like, I would be a bit better someday, than I am now).
Favorite vids on CZcams
I read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie my senior year in college. As I began to apply it’s principles to my everyday life I saw a huge leap in my popularity. Each new friend I made reinforced my ability and confidence level so that when I joined the workforce as an independent CPA I could talk to a CEO or a apprentice plumber with equal ease. I took each new meeting as an opportunity to expand my network and business contacts. It works!!
Thanks!
The point on"yourself" ❤️
Agreed! That Dale Carnegie book should be mandatory reading for anyone who deals with the public. I've read it numerous times!
You totally got me, Charisma on Command. You knew that if I saw a picture of Sherlock, I would click. Good move!
How about analyzing Davos seaworth's method of negotiation
I already can do that! It’s my talent
Hi, can you please do a video on Tekashi 69 and how to be charming even though everyone around you hate you (something like that ). His interviews are very interesting.
Ok this one finna be good
thank you finally
Liked before watching the video..
How convenient. I just finished re watching the series 😊
Same 😂
Hell yeahhhh i asked for it along time ago mann i love sherlock plus Benedict cumberbatch
Superb.
Gosh I love the sherlock clips
He estado esperando por este vídeo
This is the video I’ve waited years for😂
This guy is awesome
Nobody:
Me: *feels like a sherlock for knowing how to read body language*
I'm am waiting for you to do a breakdown of Raymond Reddington of blacklist. Great content tho
Many points are from Joe Navarro's book
I like this video as it's a quick revision
Hey, please make a video for the punisher of jon bernthal, we all can learn more about being fearless
Please do a charisma study on Elijah Mikaelson from "The Originals"
The show Lie to Me is a great show on micro expressions
I noticed the part of microexpressions, and I was wondering if you could make a video about microexpressions?
There is a series called Lie To Me which is all about it, and also teaches people about it
I figured it would be a great thing to make a video about
"If they're looking around the room, they're probably either bored or uncomfortable."
I wouldn't say that's consistent enough to even give as a tip. They could be talking about people spread across the room, aspects of the room, maybe they're the sort of person who does that in conversation regardless, maybe they're easily distracted, etc.
True, I usually look around the room when I am casually talking because there really isnt anything important on the other person's face. I only look at them directly when its something serious.
True. I really like this channel, but this one is super generic and I've seen a lot of interviews with former CIA agents who've said that these really aren't reliable.
As a socially anxious person, I look around constantly because I'm just not comfortable staring at the other person's face constantly.
ericpowell96 can you maybe name the channel or some Titels from the videos because I would love to watch them
Yeah, you've got to take the situation in consideration. Say if you and a coworker are in Sales on a Showroom floor working and having a conversation. You or they looking around can't be factored in, as it is literally your job to be constantly looking for mark--er--- I mean prospective new clients. ;)
Hey big fan! Please can you do a breakdown of either jesse pinkman or walter white from breaking bad?
Suggestion, start doing vids about enhancing your video conferencing presence (Zoom, Teams, Etc). The skillset (and tech) feel a little different.
Not more than a week ago I was wondering if they'd do a sherlock video. I'd also like to see a breakdown of V from V for Vendetta
Have you ever looked at the show ‘Lie to Me’ great for the micro expression
A few years ago, when I had just stepped into adulthood, I used to be really tough on myself and call myself a weirdo, and think that I’m superbad at reading people. I’m not autistic or aspie, but I do have ADHD and my social skills were less than average. So I worked on that part and improved myself, and now it feels like most adults I know, are worse in reading others than I ever was! People really take it for granted, but it’s important.
Actually, body language gives us a lot of information. Sometimes I feel I read it unconsciously, but I believe if I pay more attention to these details I would interpret the people's information more efficiently.
Step 1: spend months if not years studying behavioral psychology, reading practical psychology books and practicing reading people in your day to day life
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit
"Time to go to work, Work all day, We need hey!
We won't stop until we have !
Yum tum yummy tum tay!"
I love the book too by Dale carnigie
Hi , can you make video about Cristiano Rolando charisma ?
Than you so much
break down shawn spencer from psych! he has a very unique style of charm
Ah yes, the art of deduction. Elementary my dear Watson
I definitely need to get better at reading myself and be aware of these things so other people can't read me like a book 😎
Looking forward to be able to use these methods to help me, thanks!
@Lambert Simnel 😂😂😂😂😂this is funny
Can you do a video on Raymond Redington's from the series 'the blacklist' ?
The game Mrs. Hudson is on!! [Theme plays]
Everyone wears a mask now, so I guess facial expression is out
@@gurkiratsingh8747 Not true. Eyes can be very expressive on their own. If someone's smiling, their eyes will start to squint a bit, the eyebrows will raise, and the skin underneath the eyes will raise as the corners of the mouth push the skin of the cheeks upwards.
Kelsey W
Correct, this is called a Duchenne smile, for those that don’t know. When someone is smiling as described, the smile is drawn from genuine emotion. This is how it’s easy to tell if someone is feeling happy when wearing a mask.
I dunno. You can sometimes read smiles based on the eyes. I guess it depends on the person. Closed body language you'd have to be blind to miss tho.
The eyes and eyebrows are the biggest sources of expression. You also get a lot from people’s breathing pattern, body direction, arms crossed, and voice tone. Literally the only thing that the mask covers is mouth. That’s only 15-20 % of what you need.
@@gurkiratsingh8747 if they don't smile with their eyes it isn't a genuine smile, it's a polite smile.
Pls lord I hope nobody can read me when I'm masking my social anxiety 😶 (this is my fav channel for teaching me how not to flub conversations btw. 💜)
I’m so bad at conversations with people I’m not comfortable with yet😪
I don't know why, but I think this is one of the best videos made by Ben.