How To Listen More and Talk Less
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- čas přidán 17. 07. 2017
- For just one day, try this challenge. Listen more and talk less. Listen to understand. Listen to learn. Listen to empathize. Listen to validate. Listen to connect.
Don’t worry. You won’t become invisible, powerless or less impactful. In fact, you’ll become more visible. You’ll stand out as someone who cares about what others think, in a world where, generally, people are busy pushing their agenda, selling their ideas or jockeying for position.
Keeping our mouths shut is hard. So, try these three techniques to listen actively. - Jak na to + styl
1) mirror the speakers message, paraphrase what you’ve heard
2) empathy with the speakers emotion, use phrases like “oh I’m so sad about that” “that’s so cool”
3) confirm that you understand what they mean through their eyes, appreciate what they’re saying and try to show it
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I have ADHD so I want to learn how to talk less and listen more.
Me too, that's why i'm searching for a natural way of curing it. May be i should also try the yoga😂
Jane Tanael Yeah haha. I’ve heard meditation does things for ADHD but I haven’t tried it myself.
@@chilip7386 in the words of a wise man Do-it
I'm ADHD AS WELL AND I CAN'T EVER Shut up and I always shake it sucks
@@beastorjett6084 Eat healthy, sleep well, and exercise. Make lists and reminders to ease stress and anxiety. This should help you focus better. When you struggle to focus and stay on task you talk more to cope with the anxiety it causes. Technically ADHD and ADD are symptoms of other issues and not a standalone diagnosis even though they treat it as such to push the stimulant market instead of rooting out the less profitable core issue. Causes can be as simple as bad sleep or bad vision and as extreme as undiagnosed bipolar disorder.
I need to do this. No one likes "me" persay. So I'm trying to learn how to stop talking and being annoying. I'm trying to adopt the "don't speak unless spoken to" saying.
Pian Dao same here. I think everyone sees me as the annoying loud one, but I’m not just that
Same here
First step, recognize the behavior, good for you pian
How you doing?
Yup.
I was once told that I am hyperactive and I wasn’t too cool with that cos I was becoming predictable. Gladly, there’s a change now.
I can't shut and keep listening i wanna change it
Im going to try this for a day, one day at a time. Im the worst person ever to talk to because im an ineffective communicator who has nervous energy and I don't like when there is ANY silence. I started trying to be an effective communicator 20 yrs ago and haven't mastered too many days of being quiet. One day I'll get it, thanks for the video, just one of these days I'll get it.
What matters is that you keep trying. Good for you!
you are not alone.
Exactly, its like you read my thoughts, especially "nervous chatter and hating silence" i know im annoyng because no calls me and avoids my calls except one friend. She is more anxious than i am and it's the only time i'm actually silent during a conversation because she never takes a breath.lol Im 62 been doing all my life so its a very hard habit/flaw to break.
@@gracegrace3205 😂😂😂Right, I’m with you. I have started 2023 with more determination of trying to listen effectively by channeling that nervous energy. I am grounding my feet on the ground for 10-30 mins a day, burning white Sage, using my Singing Bowls, and meditating more and it’s starting to work. I’m learning that SILENCE is good🤗🤗🤗so I’ll keep trying and so will you, yes? We can do it!!!
Diamond- crush ivory You have 2 ears and 1 mouth so listen twice as much as you speak..
I keep talking about myself only to later realize that I was probably being annoying
I love when ladies talk about themselves more than anything else!
Listen more.. learn to love being silent, let go of the urge by talking to your own self !! .. no one understands u better than yourself and it’s a great reflection.. easier said than done , however practising daily, this video gives a great technique, thanks
Thank you for these tips. I will try them. I really want to be a better listener and shut up sometimes, so that I can stop feeling stupid afterwards and i can LEARN more.
I already do this with my Mom and little sister. I listen to what they say and tell me to do....and in their presence, I only talk when spoken to!
A helpful tips is to listen to the last sentence someone said and ask them a follow-up question.
When possible ask a question with the word How.
Examples:
How did your meeting go?
How did you learn how to do that?
How did that make you feel?
How long do you have before your next class?
Thank you. Now I have the tools to be a better listener and how to talk less.
I'm listening to this video today because I realised today that I'm too serious with people and I always try to push my agenda on to other people's advice
I get excited and love to talk, so I really want to learn how to listen more to my friends
Very classy and intelligent lady. Thank you for sharing!
- paraphrase what they said
- empathise with their feelings "I can see that you're upset, you sound happy, you sound scared, seems like you're disappointed"
- given the info that you just shared with me, I can tell why you feel that way.
All the points in this lesson are very important. The most important point to me is paraphrasing what you understood, as this helps to clarify and or correct any misunderstanding. This reminds me of taking a telephone order from a doctor, you always read back the order to make sure it is correct.
Great reminder in the world of fast paced healthcare.
Boy do I need this! I found my mind wandering to my own thoughts instead of LISTENING to what she was saying -- which was the reason I was playing the video in the first place. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. I'll have to work on this quite a bit.
Listening to validate stood out to me. That is really key to letting others know they have been heard. Thanks for a well done video.
Every word in this video was so clear and concise. Grateful for the time that was put into making something so informative and helpful 😇
Something I can definitely use at work and with family.
Careful with these tips. For me it bugs me because it feels like talking to a shrink.
"Oh wow I can see that this hurt you and makes you mad" "oh really that's cool so tell me more...."
It feels so prescripted and makes it sound not genuine. However I have used it on others and they lite up and happily continue.
Some people it works on others will tick them off.
I will definitely practice all three sequentially.
Thank you! I need to start today...now..
Love this! I am going to start practicing right away.
Love it 😀 thank you for putting it out there
Thank you for this, I believe your advice will help me.
Boy she's pretty!!
Very true. I read books on Client Center therapy, and it emphasized Active listening Reflections and validating others. I find it immensely powerful in this day of age, where people attention span is smaller then a gold fish
Thank you so much this is very helpful i came here because i know that i talk a lot and so i want to practice to listen more and talk less 🤗🤗🤗
Thank you! I got a lot from your take on listening.
This a goal I will have for myself, I am definitely more of a talker, than a listener. After watching this video, I realize I interrupt people to get my point across. I will strive to do better with listening.
Guys she’s only got 540 subs??? What’s going on??? If we enjoy her content, which seems like a lot of us are benefitting from, we should at least show her some support!
Well it’s growing 😆✌🏾
I know when I am not paying attention to what I am doing I tend to cut people off to get MY point across.
So I am trying to slow down and really listen to what is being communicated to me. Through this I have learned a couple of things about myself. One, if I wait for the other person to finish there isn't as much conflict and two I am a very visual person. If you bring a problem to me verbally I will listen however if I can actually see what the problem is I can usually figure out what needs to be fixed and how to fix it. As far as my clients go empathizing their frustration and telling them that they are right(if they are) and letting them vent before I speak allows the client to calm down and feel heard. Then we can work together to resolve the issue.
Good Video.
I love this
brilliant advice and so simple 👍👍
The more of anything, the less it’s worth. There are exceptions, but generally it’s true. The more words you say, the less important they are. Why don’t parents teach that to children?
Great point. Thanks for making it.
True that. Thanks !!
Thanks for this encouragement... I need to listen better
needed this!
Knowing you are ENOUGH AS YOU ARE will help you reach this goal, observe more and just know the above….
thank you for this!
Thank you for the reminder
Well said and good advice, thanks. 👌
I really need this change of behaviour as I tend to let out too many things 🙄
Anyone who has further links about this topic can please share with me or any experience that I can learn from?
Taking the challenge of being aware of becoming more of an active listener. Let the other person speak and seek out understanding of not only what they are saying but also what is not being said in words. Emotions are there, just have to pay attention.
I'm watching because I'm trying to prepare for the awkward moment after I return to work when my coworkers bring up opinions about COVID19 and the 2020 elections, which I have very minority opinions that I want to avoid leaking out.
Thank you so much!
Thank you!
Thank you
Beautiful
I feel like I needa do this alot more
I want you to know you've inspired me ...
Thank you
Thank you for letting me know. I so appreciate the feedback, and the knowledge that my work helps others.
Thanks Teresa
My mother asked me what I was drinking yesterday...😆😆 Obviously, I can talk to much..🤭🤫🙄They say an Empath can talk a lot and interrupt. Seems I do both..😔Will try this.
Thank U sis💪🏿
Damnit I got distracted during the video and have to rewatch it
Thanks beautiful..
•paraphrase
•validate
•empathize
i talk too much i want to change.thank for your teaching.👍
thank you
Lovely 🌹 msg
I cant do this without people coming at me like, why are you suddenly being so quiet? Or, whats with the mood change? Or even, are you trying to be more quiet so people will like you? Im afraid of what people will think of me
Whine less ,breathe more. talk less,say more.hate less,love more.and all good things will be yours
Thankyouu
I want to do this but if I don't say a certain amount of words in a day, I literally start to feel angry. Not sure why?!
Shaine MacDonald I feel you I become angry also
Tip Jar🎯🎯🎯🎯I become depressed and fidgety.
It's because you have a deep need to be heard and understood. Explore other ways of meeting those needs other than verbal communication.
@@mizzvxn such as? That's why I am here.
Tom Ratliff - I can relate. Expression was not a luxury as a child so I find myself fighting to express myself but honestly noone gives two fucks. So my outlet is writing and creating a podcast.
i want to be better listener i talk alot to my self and its hard to focus on what other say
personally i’m a very quiet person, i just want to learn to listen more
❤
I hv not been diagnosed but I know I hv ADHD coz all the symptoms dey matches with my struggle.. but no one understands it and they think I'm saying things but they don't know how I'm struggling every day of my life 😥😥 I used to be calm but growing up the symptoms became obvious now I find it hard to control my mouth from speaking it's like it has a mind of its own 😒💔😥
Plz add subtitle idk english too much
Music was kinda distracting hehe
Oh man I'm going to need some masking tape. :) Just kidding.
Me am talking paradox & I need
I mistickly say my precious SECRET unknownely
You are a beautiful woman inside & out!
God I can talk non stop, atimes I have to pinch myself to remind myself that I need to stop! I tend to be hyper I tend to seek attention where unnecessary, it's really frustrating 😞
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
What she said
I though i was too talkative and i was always regretting what i said and why did i talk after meeting people....but for sure talking too much is annoying my husband talks too much he never listen he want to speak only without listen like the one who is making a speach and he made me being so quiet because i see how it is not nice i m always controlling my self and i hope i will be totally quiet
In the whole video she was talking non stop and i was silent
This chick looks like some sort of pirate woman with a golden doubloon on her chest helping me improve myself.
I talk less i can never think of anything to talk about i am in secondary shcool at the moment and I don't have many friends
I'm experiencing this same problems omggg
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Whatever I say, sometimes it offended ppl 😅 yeah.. sorry my friends.
the secret is to become a capricorn guys😉
im a cap but i kept talking abt myself. even my bsf point it out
Whenever I’m with a girl I can’t help but talk all about myself 💀. Don’t be me lol
you are beautiful .
So that means I’m gonna have to lie half the time Lool. Cause a lot of the time I don’t understand where my generation are coming from
How? Stay as far away from Demonrats as possible. You're welcone.😉
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