My daughter is giving a presentation in school this week. Half the class just said they weren't doing it. When I was in school (I'm 44 now) there wasn't even an option to not do it.
That’s a good thing. Nobody should be forced to do something against their will. If you don’t work you don’t make no money but you have the choice. Shouldn’t force anyone to stand in front of everyone and present a project and speech or else they fail. Not right
We couldn’t afford therapy growing up. Instead we went to confession at church. When I was 15 years old (in the 80s) I was confessing to the Priest feeling like a horrible person. He leaned around the screen (which was a shock to me) and said, “You need to lighten up. You are not a bad kid. I’m not even going to make you do penance. You are free to go.” I was so shocked! I took his words to heart and now in my 50s still remind myself of that. Society at large (and of course parents) needs to reinforce to young people they are ok. It’s ok to make mistakes. To try and fail. Failure is learning in action. Failure is feedback. I wish I could give all Gen Z’s a big hug. Instead I volunteer at my Alma Mater to give talks to classes and Jen asked to do so and speak on resilience. As a mom of 3 adult sons I’m an expert. I bet you are too! Let’s be the village to support and encourage the younger generations-not mock them.
❤️ thanks for that. I’ve commented this on another post but I do feel like gen z is a product of their environment (chronic stress, fear, uncertainty, insecurity). I think it’s really hard for us to find community, support, generosity and a place where we feel safe. Instead, it feels like we are met with more judgment, fear and criticism. We are great kids but we are really struggling right now and need someone to believe in us as we are.
Fuck yes!!! Thank you for that. As a millennial who didn't have everything given to them I'm grateful as fuck for my parents and mentors. I may not have been given everything I ever wanted as a kid. However, I was given everything I ever needed.
that’s true. and they’ve been cushioned from every sad, disappointing or bad emotion. When you aren’t able to experience that and learn from it as a young kid it hits you hard as a teen and adult. The schools do this from the start. kids are supposed to socialize that way with each other but adults get way too involved and don’t let them figure it out.
What she says in the end here is the key. There is nothing wrong with feeling *all* emotions, including unpleasant or undesirable ones like anxiety or sadness, etc. All emotions are important and beneficial for different reasons. It's when you try to avoid or suppress these emotions when problems and disorders start to happen. For some reason we've come to believe that if you feel bad once in a while and aren't happy all the time then there is something wrong with you. And that couldn't be further from the truth. You can't have joy without sadness, just like there is no light without darkness. That is how it works. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
We can't come unless you give your name! What you say I utterly agree with though the key is how we "frame" this. It is the endless mental chatter that we identify with that feeds identification with the so-called negative emotions. In truth it is quite possible we have learnt to think of many of these as negative when they're actually just energy. The trick is watching thoughts and seeing they are NOT who we are. They are for the most part habitual conditioning. But would love to watch your talk if you say who you are or send a link. Take care
Years ago, my aunt lost her husband to Alzheimer's. It was a slow and agonizing death. Towards the end she had to put curtains up in the living room because he would see his reflection in the glass sliding doors at night and either try to talk to "that man" or be so scared "he was after him". Years later, after I had been married for a while, I began to have a deeper understanding of how hard that had to have been, and the weight of that hit me so hard I cried (and I don't cry). I see her about once a year at Thanksgiving, so the next Thanksgiving I went up to her and said how much respect I had for her going through that - she stuck with him to the very end. Her response to me was simple. She said, "I come from a tough family, and that's just what we do." She's a child of the Greatest Generation - an actual Boomer. We have a lot to learn from previous generations, and I'm inspired and thankful to call her "family."
I miss my strong and wise grandma who just passed❤️ I learned so much from her which I hope to pass down to my future family someday. I genuinely believe it was a greater generation of stronger folks. We can deff learn something!
@@a1islamovic It *definitely* was "a greater generation of stronger folks." My dad grew up in the 1930s; he was an old man by the time I was born. When I think about how he raised me, and what he taught me, and compare it to my friends' parents, who were generally born in the late 50s or early 60s...I was very lucky.
The "greatest generation" was the WWI survivors. My parents were the "Silent Generation" and I'm an old boomer. I wouldn't say boomers were great. But they did figure out when relatively young what the "Establishment" was up to and did what they could to neutralize them.
What really helped me as a gen Zer was staying off social media, not comparing my self to others, and dipping my hand into everything I can. when I was 18 I was admitted to a psych ward because I was spending too much time thinking and moping about how much of a loser I felt like that I was becoming delusional hoping that my life would change somehow. When I started taking action and going back to school and pursuing a career my focus shifted from “why is my life like this?” to “how can I turn my life into this?”
Good move, social media is poison! Invest that time in something else that is actually good for your future and well being. Social Media will be the exact same BS ten years from now as it is today. Instagram for instance is just a marketing tool, more than half of what gets posted are fake. People as well, don't try too hard to make people happy, It is impossible. Been there and done that, learnt my lesson when it comes to people :)
Gen X here, and I want you to know that I see a lot of promise in your generation. You are the most like us, but we need to remind you that you are very resilient more than you realize. We had to fend for ourselves and it made us tougher because of it. I also see your generation as the one that brings the country back to God. Most of our problems are because secularism allows no room for mistakes and you learn a lot from failures. Faith gives you purpose to want to improve yourself while not worrying about others or comparing yourself to others. God loves us and never gives up on us and we are all redeemable. Please remember that. Hugs to you, you guys will accomplish a lot if you lead the nation back to its roots.
No, the algorithm that the Government controls has ruined the minds of the masses! People REFUSE to see the TRUTH and what’s really going on behind closed doors! The Government won’t tell you I’m Jesus Christ and how the 🕍 tortured my soul!! We live in a simulation! The 🕍 at the “top” of the pyramid aKA “food chain” are 🪳
I’m a therapist and one of the first things I always recommend is exercise, eating healthier and getting OUT of your head and into the world. Any good therapist should know this stuff.
My daughter was born pre-mature during COVID, my wife's C Section was very dramatic and we soon found out our families truly had no interest in helping with anything. I had a really hard time for a while and all the time family, friends, and Doctors were encouraging me to get on SSRIs and to get assessed for Anxiety meds. They convinced me to see a therapist and all he did was mirror back my every thought and tell me my only path was medication and lifelong therapy. I was convinced though that my biggest problem was a lack of sleep and independence so I persevered. Now my daughter is 3, healthy, and sleeps through the night. I have free time and have found myself again and in new form. I feel great, I am not depressed, and I do not struggle with anxiety. If I had listened I would probably be locked in for life.
Don't trust a doc who's super quick when it comes to hooking you up. Especially in things regarding mental health. People nowadays wanna blow their minds out with chemicals, no matter what's up. Anything that can be done without, should be done without.
Many forget that hormones are all messed up, too. I’m a nurse and so many young men have low testosterone. Low testosterone is associated with anxiety, fatigue, and low self esteem.
what are some reasons this generation has lower testosterone? Rogan had that one lady that claimed it was plastics seeping into our systems. Anything else common that might cause it?
@@hapaharley1706Its most likely parents not giving a fuck about their kids and sticking them in front of screens to distract them. The kids grow up complacent and without doing anything physical theyre not gonna be producing testosterone right. Its the parents not parenting. Its what it always has been.
I used to have severe depression. Then I turned 28 years old and realized I had wasted over 10 years of my life dwelling on problems and negative things. I had been to therapists, AA meetings, and been on multiple prescriptions. No doctor ever asked me how much sleep I got or gave me any real actionable advice. They just let me talk. And talk. And talk. And my sadness never got better. Then one day I read a famous old saying, “A young man went to an old wise man and said, “Old man, I have 2 dogs who are fighting, which one will win?” The old man said, “The one that you feed.”” This saying taught me that whatever you give your attention to is what you will become. I do not believe therapy or prescription drugs were ever truly helpful for me. Creating goals for myself and getting involved in healthy things is what saved me.
This is basically my exact experience if you change our AA with OA-although I struggled with drinking also… finding meditation and Jordan Peterson’s work also helped me immensely. Attaching myself to another person and other people who were aiming up was huge… having supportive friends and family and cutting out toxic folk (which was basically a byproduct of the work that became self evidently necessary). I am so grateful for this video to help us raise our kids with a little more “tough love” and they get this proverb regularly as my fiancé is Native American and therefore our kids ancestors told this story… continue to tell this story. Continue to live this story… keep feeding the good wolves, friends.
I remember when I got back from the psych ward after an unalive attempt when I was younger. I had undiagnosed bipolar depression and was just starting treatment. My family asked me what they could do to help me, and I told them straight up, act like nothing is wrong. Don't treat me like I'm sick. Please, just treat me like everything is normal. If things around me feel normal, I feel better. If I'm having depressive thoughts, I'll talk to the therapist who helps me through them. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about changing up meds. But from my family, from my environment, I want stability and positivity. If everyone around me is constantly asking me if everything is okay and do I feel good today? I'm going to be thinking about why everything is _not_ okay all the time. Treating me like I'm depressed made me more depressed. I needed support and love, but not coddling. A hug and a "You'll be okay" goes a long way.
As a Pastor, this is absolutely true, I have personally seen someone who was a complete shut in, massive anxiety, panic attacks overmedicated. Step away from that, start going outside bit by bit, expanding their world bit by bit, getting exercise. Spending time in prayer, running errands etc. To now being able to walk to their local church daily and interacting with people. They are now going to go back to school and are getting their life right! Praise God! Medication and therapy typically make things worse, sometimes its needed, but ultimately, ruminating on the problem makes it bigger. Most people just need goals to work towards, daily physical exercise and IRL social time. A lot of these kids today spend all day indoors thinking. Its not good for them.
I want and they just kept asking how does that make you feel to everything I said. While looking at the clock very obviously just waiting for the hour to be over so they can go home. 😂😂😂
I was widowed 3 years ago, with 2 teenage boys and 7 year old girl. It was very traumatic for all of us, brain aneurysm at home in the middle of conversation. I had therapists want to put my 15 year old son on ssri after having talked to him for a total of 5 minutes. Wrong. This really bad crazy thing happened and you witnessed it. You need to process this event and move forward not block it out with chemicals. So that’s what we did. He felt all things as they came and we talked about it together, still do. One of my kids tried to pull the “I’m special because this happened.” Wrong. You are not special. Bad shit happens every day, it sucks. But that’s not permission to be a drain on the world around you. You can’t control what happened, but you can control your response to it. We aren’t moving on, we’re moving forward. Me specifically knowing I’ve already had the worst day of my life, I can handle whatever comes. And so can they.
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your family is doing fine. You sound like a great mother and I hope everything turns out or continues turning out alright.
I can only imagine how tough this must’ve been for you and your children. And you also sound like a very wise strong and capable woman! Your kids will absolutely thank you when they’re old enough to understand how much you’ve endured to keep them safe and allow them to grow into the same capable strong adults that you are.
Parents MUST be strong. Who else is there?? Parents are no more prepared for adulthood, let alone raising others to be adults, than anyone else. Let that sink in. Parents "step up to the plate." They wing it daily, pulling from reservoirs previously unknown to themselves, hoping those under their care (and oftentimes themselves too) mentally survive another couple days. @@Mannsy83
Sucking it up doesn't always work, if it works for some, I'm happy it does. I worked in trauma/ER and witnessed many things, unfortunately, one day while caring for my father at home he had a heart attack, and I did everything I could to save him, but he passed away in my arms before the paramedics arrived. The experience left me very confused, it was difficult to lean on my family because they were also hurting, sucking it up like I normally did, didnt work because of the love and appreciation I had for my father. I went to therapy and my life was given back to me. My therapist initially asked, "what brings you here"? To my replay, " it's difficult to give myself advice", a few takeaways from therapy. Everyone has a different threshold for pain/psychological challenges, leaning on family sometimes isnt an option, being able to speak to a neutral person who has the ability to unwed your thoughts, emotions for the sake of feeling better is self caring. Listen to what you need, I wish you all peace❤.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice. One of the many reasons and situations where therapy and the support is indeed necessary and good. God rest your father’s soul.
i agree with your perspective and so sorry for your loss. however i think the difference is you went through something genuinely traumatizing and truly awful. as someone considered gen z i believe she’s is talking about this generation of kids who are raised to have no ability to cope with basic or everyday life problems, not genuine traumatizing experiences. the issue here is that kids are so sheltered now and therapy isnt a real solution to how emotionally stunted being so sheltered makes you. again sorry for your loss god bless you and yours
Their talking about child not men! Yes what happened to you is life. But you overcame that situation. Child now and days are focused on “feelings” not navigating life. God be with you and give you strength but we need to build strong men and can lead their family!
As a parent who routinely says suck it up and get over it to my kids. Know this, it is essential to look your kids in the eye and tell them no or that they didn't do well enough.
She just single handedly expressed what I’ve been saying for years “regularly concentrating on your bad feelings will make you feel bad” simple as that
on the flip side to this, i think there's nothing wrong with concentrating on how you feel bad regularly as long as you redirect that energy to improvement or some sort of cautious optimism because you have to examine why you feel bad to overcome it. think its important to say this if someone reads this and decides to be like overly positive which is also mad annoying
@@beabadoobeefanq_q3701people who refuse to let themselves feel bad are like people who refuse to clean their home or take out the trash. When you ignore your problems, it feels like you’re having more fun and things are better, but that shit will pile up around you and start fuckin up your life.
I’ve gone through therapy and all this describes exactly how I feel about it NOW. For sure. Sure maybe it helped at first. But it’s NOT what works long term and correctly. I’ve now evolved to “everything is all shit anyways so I have to start liking shit” And it’s working for sure. I’ve become quite comfortable being uncomfortable and just expect it to be now so. That’s what I really needed to get over. Therapy does NOT address that.
I finally went to a therapist for a few months to address anxiety that I’ve had for 20-25 years (since childhood) and she helped me train my mind rather than give me meds. I think I saw her for 6 months and she was happy that I didn’t need her anymore. It was hard work but I never had that toolkit before. I think these kids need a toolkit rather than coddling .
That's great. I manage a healthcare centre & I see way too many ppl coming to see Drs & therapist with anxiety & they just get medicated to the hilt & after a while they end up with a addiction.
Please..im interested to know what worked for you as well..i am not currently in the right place (financially) to be able to afford therapy..i know everyone is different but any tips would be hugely appreciated
I was struggling as a preteen to ride in vehicles after getting into a car accident with a friend's drunk parent at the wheel. I lived in a rural area where walking wouldn't cut it and I needed to be able to be comfortable in a vehicle again. After a few weeks of my parents having to slow way down because I would become too frightened and would begin to basically freak out and start climbing the seats, they decided we had to deal with the problem. They presented the idea of facing my fear and having me ride in the back while they drove extra fast around corners to see that I could survive the fear and anxiety. It only took one time of doing this to lessen my anxiety and all these years later, driving is one of my favorite places to be. I think it can sometimes be helpful to face that which brings the most anxiety, head on. I know this won't work in every situation but it could be a great lesson for some.
Gen Z here, my husband passed away when I was 8 months pregnant. Obviously, it was awful and devastating but something curious also happened. My anxiety, I'd been plagued with since I was 9yo vanished. A social worker came to talk with me in the hospital and said, "This is going to be a trauma for you..." and I cut her off "ma'am I dont think this is a trauma, its simply just a tradegy" We are so insulated from death, in modern society, and while it's a horrible experience to endure loss, it does ground you. None of the little things bother you after enduring something so earthshattering.
Parents do need to say “ Move on “ I’m Gen x , I grew up in good times. I do not envy Gen z , especially with social media , the economy , crazy politics, lack Of Community , etc etc But they will need to figure it out - and they will ❤
Nervousness has been replaced with anxiety, sadness with depression, bad memories with PTSD, concentration with hyper focus, quirky with autistic, particularity with OCD. Basically what has happened is all aspects with everyone's personalities suddenly evolved into mental health buzzwords pushed along by tiktok and aided by better help. I can have a change in mood or a reaction to something without needing to psycho analyze myself and that's something everybody needs to relearn.
But what if you actually have autism? These mfs who fake ruin it for people who actually have it, I've felt different from anyone ever since I was toddler, it's some innate thing in me, different from you gen x
And you know why? They write laws that say any overnight on a mental health ward of a hospital\ mental emo diagnosis.., once you pick up a prescription to treat it, you are banned from owning firearms in the future. 2nd amendment can go f itself they don't need to repeal it, they can preclude it from being an issue within 30 years if no one qualifies as stable. We are cows, cows don't get guns.
I found this video fascinating. I’m a military retiree who fights the idea that I have PTSD and my therapist insists on getting me to accept it. She’s willing to label it something else, but is set on me accepting my issues the military ‘gave me’. She tells me I have ‘trauma’ from car accidents and the lack of medical treatment I got at the ER on base. She doesn’t seem to try to encourage resilience but assigning labels and reasons. This video opened my eyes to stuff I was already feeling in ‘therapy’. I was stationed at CENTCOM during a rough time and might have ‘issues’ with how we were treated, what we did or what we saw, but she is trying to get me to assign blame and almost use those things as excuses. A few of my fellow vets are in prison, one is on death row currently and the excuse is always PTSD. There’s such a bad connotation with that now that I’m ashamed to say I might have it. Medical professionals told me for years my chronic pain from breaking my back had to give me depression. Anyone with as much physical injury and pain MUST be depressed. If I believed them, I would be the most depressed pos. People don’t teach resilience and sadly, or in my case,luckily, it’s in us or iit’s not.
Read the body keeps the score. It shows fMRIs and goes into studies that show the impacts of PTSD on the brain. Sorry to hear there is a negative connotation about it. Just because other people have it and use it as an excuse for their actions doesn’t mean those of us who take accountability and manage an illness should be punished for it. I have Bipolar II and have the same issues with negative connotations. I am open about it though, if they don’t want to educate themselves on it that’s not my problem.
She is undoubtedly one of the smartest, most common sense people I have ever heard explain depression & anxiety! This is terrific! Everyone should listen to this! Great job again Joe Rogan!
I have a son with autism and a younger daughter. My daughter told me she had ADHD when she was 14. Self diagnosed lol. I knew she was fine. Just human. We had already gone through the steps of diagnosing my son with ADHD years before this, which took years. Literally. I entertained my daughter with a trip to a therapist thinking the therapist would tell her she was fine. I sat in a waiting room for 45 minutes and the therapist came to me and said she definitely had ADHD and they would hook her up with drugs right away (without talking to anyone but my daughter). Mind you, my son had MOUNTAINS of questionnaires that had to be filled out by any adult that had contact with him to be diagnosed with this just 6 years earlier. That's when I realized NO therapist is going to tell you that you're ok. That destroys their customer base. This is why every part of being human is now a "condition". They have made an industry out of feelings.
@@Andrewoo99ADHD is not real. Describe to me a single shared trait between those with “ADHD”. Not shared behaviors. Not shared thought processes. A gene, a bio marker, a brain structure. You can’t because no sure shared trait exists. ADHD is medicalization of a personality type. If you know anything about evolution by natural selection you can clearly see how advantageous the so-called “disorder” would have been in our evolutionary environment.
My mom has always been the only person to say I don't have ADHD in a sea of people telling me I do have ADHD. I feel like I wasted years believing I did and it made my focus worse instead of working to improve it. I had the perfect excuse to be lazy with my attention and speech. I'm working on it now and it's slow and a conscious effort but I believe it's working. Being deficient in crucial vitamins and minerals have contributed to it as well so I'm doing that in tandem. Maybe hard to pinpoint which is helping more, but I do feel it's both.
Millennial here. Been through the bottom of mental illness. I’m over it now and living an amazing life. #1 thing that helps me is waking up and getting tf out of bed early in the morning. Around 7am. Life changing for me.
Some excellent points were made. We have 2 girls in college, and the amount of depression and anxiety among this generation is shocking! Between social media, the weight of the world's issues, financial struggles and job insecurity it's easy to see why. Oh and don't forget social anxiety too.
@@RicoWorldPeace yeah, I actually got up at 5 today. Alarm was for 6:30 but sunrise got me up. 7 I think is reasonable because that means you can kinda wind down around 9pm, chill out, read a book or whatever. 10pm you’re brushing teeth plugging in your phone. Sleep occurs from 11pm-7am. It’s just a little more reasonable since my wife is a little bit of an evening person and I get to spend more time with her. I used to do 3am wake ups because I’d hit the gym before my construction job. That means in bed asleep by 7pm. That was crazy.
I have schizoaffective (combo of schizophrenia and bipolar) im 24 now and havent had an episode in 3 years due to sticking to treatment, the right meds, resilience and focusing on self care like journalling. If you want to get better sometimes falling on your face hard helps you realise like fck i need to do better and be better. My second psychosis 3 yrs ago came about because i stopped medication and thought i was healthy again. My ex ended things during my last psychosis and it hurt me so much because i realised i lost him and i lost myself in not treating my illness seriously and accpting that. It was a growth oppurtunity i see now and a huge life lesson.
My grandmother used to always say “Stop complaining and do something about it”. She was bipolar and raised 6 kids and was hospitalized a few times. She struggled with mental illness but also knew you had to live your life and not wallow in the pain! I also have mood/panic disorder and I lived a full life, career, marriage, children. I had a few episodes where I had to stop and get help, but came back from the setback and kept going!
The Myth of Mental Illness is a great book, back then it was simple "struggle or die." Today western culture will provide all you need to self destruct (affirmation, medication, payment from the state etc.) since there's no drive to struggle.
Imagine if you had really bad tooth pain that was all awareness-consuming and were expected to not talk to anyone about it. How would you feel about that?
The mind can play tricks on you. It is self destructive to think that you are not supposed to go through life without pain, hurdles, obstacles and difficulties. That's part of being a human being. So being told to get on with it is something that can sometimes be the answer you need to hear and not the thing you want to hear. The tooth pain is coming from a specific place and therefore you can do something about it. @@ckoperni
I’m a child therapist with an LPC but my undergraduate degree is in psychology and A big part of what I do is parent training rather than talk therapy. Parents absolutely transfer huge amounts of anxiety, over protect, and they live their life through a screen.
I was a child therapist in the school system for a while. I left the field because I could not be part of the systemic psychological abuse of children, the "therapeutic education", the weekly manipulative "circle times", the teaching boys that they are inferior to girls, the teaching and preaching that "there is no such thing as truth and right and wrong", that gender is a social construct, that the white male patriarchy wrecked the planet and oppresses girls and women, the banning of activities that boys enjoy, encouraging girls to "be assertive" and boys to "cry more", to value emotions and feelings over all else,... etc, etc.
So You say parents over do it, yet at the same time you had to give us all the credentials you had to gather before you were allowed to professionally talk with children, don't you think needing a Masters & a PHD plus all these certifications just to be a therapist is part of the problem too? By the time ya'll are allowed to practice your completely brainwashed.
I will say, as a 40 year old, screens feel safer and parents have always been transferring their fears and anxiety onto their children! I'm consciously trying to not put my issues onto my kids. My daughter is definitely not affected by my issues in the slightest and I admire her "I can do anything" attitude. I do want her to know that she will be hurt at times, but that's life's way of telling her to reevaluate things
As if decades of Journalist Activism isn't a HUGE part of the problem. Please. I like TJRE, but not this drivel. People like her are a huge part of the problem. Maybe that explains Joe's long pause after she finally shuts her yap at the beginning of the video. Would have loved to know what he was really thinking.
@@fastinbulvis2223 You have no idea what you are talking about. The causes and best treatments for anxiety have been well understood for decades but swamped and covered over with hundreds of false leftist studies that fail independent replication, and a flood of expensive exacerbation programs that further generate the problem and make wealthy careers for everyone involved in them.
This is a great clip. Feeling those things when they're not debilitating to your overall quality of life and don't pose a threat to your life (depressive unaliving thoughts, etc), are mega beneficial. Listening to this made me think back to all those moments of triumph which give me confidence today, and those memories of the journeys I went through to overcome some tough shit gives me good vibes.
Read the _Tao Te Ching._ "Regarding muddy water: the more you try to stir the dirt out of it, the murkier it gets... leave it alone, and the dirt will settle out by itself."
Even better read the bible, the word of God, not just of man. 2 Timothy 1:7: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Psalm 55:22: Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Hebrews 13:6: So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
As a nineties kid, we went to school full time and had jobs at 13-14 years old so we could get a car, save money for the future or help our parents out. But we were outside more in nature, had real human connections and contacts and more importantly we didn’t have social media. Social media, in my humble opinion, is a major factor for these issues.
That's true but people work full time and can't afford basic necessities. Kids see the "grown ups" struggle because the economy is bad and wages are low. All I'm saying is it's different now, in tje 90s we could get a bs job and afford to buy and do stuff. These kids today? They get called lazy because they won't work a sht job for sht pay smh
It can be but also it's hard to explain to the older generations how them having to work and stuff at 13-14 years old is actually a major route cause of a lot of their trauma that they don't understand. That was so wrong that you all had to do that even if the outcome is perceived as great because in reality you weren't allowed to be a kid you were stripped of it early.
@@christjosh8853I worked at 13 and I still had a childhood. I only worked on the weekends 5 hours a day. I liked the idea earning money and owned at beater car when I hit 16 .
@@christjosh8853what?? We wanted to work and make money to buy vehicles and other stuff our parents couldn’t afford for us. Over I know in the 90’s at school tried get their driving permit at 15 so they had enough time under their belt to get their DL at 16. It was great. We taught to not be victims and take responsibility for our actions and also to be respectful. Can’t say the same for gen z.
One of my favorite quotes is from a Navy SEAL who said, "toughness is putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation until it is no longer uncomfortable. "
I'm a girl , i have two sisters. And my mom raised us telling us to suck it up. Told is that life will beat us way harder then the pain we feel now. It was great. I see how we grew up so much more resilient then people around us.
Ive suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life. The best tip i can give is to find something you enjoy and are passionate about. For me it was hunting, fishing, and just being outdoors. Exercise is important to.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I went on meds for depression and anxiety and my parents would tell me they’ve also experienced very similar symptoms sometime in life but they had to push through and had responsibilities so they just did what was needed to be done. However they did help me out and never questioned my symptoms. But they also did tell me to get out of the house more and not sit alone in my room because that would force me to think and think and getting anxious. I used to get angry at them thinking they don’t understand but now after years of being off the meds, I realise how good my parents’ advice was.
@@cherobinson6371 Aside from being barely legible, that's an odd response. Not everyone needs to be medicated, and doctors prescribe and push these things a majority of the time on people with less severe symptoms. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. I have felt suicidal and unable to function, and I take an anti-depressant. I haven't always, and won't forever. Everyone is different. Don't take offense simply because someone else got good advice, and didn't need the medication themselves.
I've suffered depression on and off since I was a teenager. I spent the majority of my early 20s with untreated depression and it led to me neglecting my health and even just general hygiene. to the point that I wouldn't even brush my hair for days on end and I gained a ton of weight. It wasn't until I got on an antidepressant that I was able to have the energy to pull myself out of that funk and make positive changes in my life like going to the gym and focusing on taking better care of myself
In all my years watching this platform this woman has said what i already know in my mind bad things make you see life real life how evil people can be how beautiful people can be and how tuff the human spirit can be and endure im a 70s child so im tuff as nails and always watch over my family even when my family doesn't know i am.
Lots of people have PTSD, but usually the undereducated think PTSD is only real when you’re having a full blown panic attack or some shell shock looking episode. PTSD is everywhere, nowadays it’s most likely C-PTSD. Are people over exaggerating it ? Probably, but it’s there
@@shadow13265 Saying it's there is a MOOT point. Nobody denies the reality of its existence. It's the fact that a label is being used for the self righteous gain.
I was 10 years old when I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. For a kid of that era it was a relatively brief period of great traumatic stress that had a beginning, middle and an end in an otherwise "free range" childhood. As a retired therapist when I try to understand Gen-Z - I can't help but contrast their childhood to mine. This generation grew up with the "chronic traumatic stress" of a sort of "non-stop Cuban Missile Crisis" - with the supposed "adults in the room" constantly scaring the hell of them. For two+ decades the mantra has been - "there could be another terrorist attack at any time anywhere," "Orange Alert," "Red Alert," "if you see something - say something," "climate change is going to kill us all," "we only have five more years to save the planet or we're doomed," "covid will kill us all - or if not, the next pandemic will," and endless variations on the theme of imminent apocalypse. In other words this generation has grown up contending with a sort of chronic unresolvable fear response - in reaction to things "they are powerless to control" - all because of endless bat-shit crazy government propaganda operations aimed at controlling the minds of we adults. Perhaps these kids mental health has ended up as another form of - "collateral damage" - as the psychopaths in charge like to refer to it. We are watching these same kids now retreat into the fantasy world of "gender- ideology," and 'trigger warnings," and "canceling speakers they disagree with," and claiming that - "words can be violence." Maybe there is more to be unpacked in understanding "why" they can interpret "language" to be "violence." Maybe telling kids for two straight decades that the planet's going to be uninhabitable next year - "IS IN FACT "WORDS" - AS VIOLENCE." Just a thought.
The other form of fear is school shootings. My kids are growing up with active shooter response drills during school. I can’t imagine what that does to your psyche.
@@anybodyoutthere3208CME is a legitimate threat to electronics and the power grid, especially since we’re approaching the solar maximum, and scientists expect it to last longer than usual
Hi Gary, I was trying to find my thoughts on why I disagreed with this speaker and I think you summed it up. I do agree with some things she said, like wallowing in our pains and that those tough emotions becoming a catalyst for something great. But sometimes I get upset because gen z is looked at as losers/kids who need to get their shit together but it does feel like we are just a product of our environment. Not to mention, we grew up in the boom of electronics and social media that greatly impacted us. I want others to realize that we are great kids, we are just lacking our sense of security and safety. Sincerely Lily (born ‘98)
This summarizes the entire discussion. Take ownership, and life can improve (but it's never perfect).. Be mindful. Life is not fair, never was, never will be. People who squawk about this are trying to use (faux) victimhood to dodge that, and so remain unhappy.
The best two things my therapist would say to me: 1. "My job is to give you the tools so you don't need me. We're trying to work me out of a job." 2. At the end of a session where she felt I was fine, she'd say, "Let's not book anything until you think you really need me." Sometimes that was weeks or months or years. Therapy is great when you need it. But you should be building a skillset with the therapist's support that eventually makes them irrelevant.
I was managing a designer clothing department at Nordstrom two years ago which had a lot of Gen Z employees. This particular department was special because it was an invite only department because of the specialized knowledge you needed to sell the clothing, and the potential for way higher commission earnings. One day, my only employee scheduled for the day (23 year old gen z guy) said he didn’t wanna be there and he needed a mental health day. I asked him, “what would you do if you go home right now?” And he said he would lay down and watch a movie. I told him that there is NO difference in being at work vs watching a movie, so he might as well stay at work and get paid and also that he was my only employee that day and we needed him. He reluctantly stayed. By the end of the day he came up to me and said he had his best sales day of his career (he sold over $9k in clothes which is about a $900 commission for one day of work) and he was so happy. I looked at him and said, “yeah bro, imagine if I let you go home and waste your whole day feeling bad about nothing.” And he just laughed and said yeah. Anyways, the point of this story is stuff like this happened EVERY WEEK, and I managed almost 30 people!! Gen Z was super hard to deal with (and I’m technically a Zillenial, born late 1995 so not quite a millennial and not quite Gen Z).
Its well known that Gen Z is very soft and weak minded. Mental illness is sky high among Gen Z especially if they lean politically liberal according to polls that have been taken.
Gen Z kids have also been coddled too much. For example when Trump won the presidency in 2016 some universities were offering emotional support to students. WTF! I've heard of universities also doing this when certain speakers come on campus. Safe spaces. They treat these young adults like babies.
We are a shake it off…rub dirt in it…problem solve it household. I also try to be aware and there for him when his anxiety is high. It’s really tough to find a balance sometimes. 😞
I am a Kindergarten teacher (26 years) and I can vouch for the extreme change in children over the last 10 years. Joe’s guest is spot on in regards to all the “focusing on your emotions”… the programs focused on making sure children felt they were in a “safe space and to express feelings.” Feelings which my little friends did not even understand- horrible program. “Safe space” insinuates there is danger around you - focusing on creating fake negative feelings caused massive issues which did not even exist, prior to this “program.”
Do you have a large portion of minority children in your classes? They do tend to have more trauma in their lives? And more pedophilia is being exposed as of late.
Bingo 🎯 The safe spaces and talking about emotions is not a good thing. If you want to talk emotions why don't the parents try to get writing class to do a free journaling thing for like 10 minutes.
feminism has been an absolute disaster. people don't see the connection between letting women into power and the sudden thrust towards everything needing to be about safety and emotions. These are fine when they left to the private sphere of family where women ruled but now they have been promoted at a much larger level throughout society and our social institutions as more and more women enter into these spheres. Men need to assert some authority otherwise this will end badly for our society.
It's a big problem in the trades. We get these young kids and they are not following instructions properly, even after having them repeat what you want done. So later on when you ask them what happened and why didn't they follow the instructions they were given, they get offended and quiet. I have to stay on them in order to change them. They have to get used to being held responsible for their actions.
Gabor Mate mentioned in a video, that a study showed that during wartime depression goes away. There is a sense of purpose, helping others and survival that overtakes ruminating. This has stuck with me.
I’ve heard that too, also when your mind is on higher “hierarchy of needs “ type situations when you have more stress and things to do your mind doesn’t have time to think exhaustively about your feelings, it’s too busy with survival and getting by
I’m Gen Z. 24 now, it’s true. Started having severe panic attacks at 21. I still have them but I don’t allow myself to freak out / think im dying. It’s just something I gotta get through and I’ll be fine in 30-60 minutes
I am a millennial. I grew up poor, my parents had a horrible abusive marriage. My dad remarried a crackhead that mentally abused me. My mom struggled with alcohol. I struggled with alcohol & drugs my teenage years. I always felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I moved out of state and made some positive changes. Then, my mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 23. My grandparents who helped raise me died of broken hearts not long after that. Life is hard. We rarely get through life without struggles and hardships. There have been some really dark moments in my life but I don’t let these moments define me. I don’t live my life looking through the lens of all the “trauma” I faced. I am almost 33 years old, I am in a healthy happy marriage. I do not struggle with a single “mental health issue”. I feel grateful for my life everyday. I am happy
That's how my life was. Traumatic childhood. Sexual abuse,foster homes, alcoholism. Went to college became a nurse. You can change your life. We all have choices.Im thankful everyday I'm alive.
Therapist here. Good therapists want clients to feel better, but they want them to utilize their own coping skills and support networks rather than build emotional dependence on a therapist. I regularly ask kids in my office questions like “how will we know when treatment is successful?” If the answer is “when my anxiety and depression goes down to zero” then we have a whole other topic to discuss on the wisdom of emotions- excitement and sadness included- and building resilience in the face of stressors.
There are good therapists and approaches out there that focus on resilience. Unfortunately like many fields, we also have our fair share of malpractice and bad therapists working in the field. It’s so hard to find the good ones because people don’t want to be trying different therapists until one clicks for them. As a therapist, the first conversation with a client should touch the topic of “ok this is not a service for the rest of your life, what do we need to do to get you to graduate these services and no longer need me”
Then stop providing "therapy". If you're a social worker or masters level therapist, you do more harm than good while not keeping abreast of clinical literature. Social workers have the lowest iqs of any college major. Self serving justice warrior.
I’m 36. I worked hard and now I’m in management and oversee a team mixed with younger and older folks. I make decent money, I pay my taxes and I’m not struggling with housing or food. I live in one of Americas largest and most expensive cities. I have no college degree. Sitting and complaining about not working hard is exactly the point. I believe you can have leverage if you’re smart enough to look around at the sea of people who are often too lazy to stand up and do the work otherwise. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can say that those who subconsciously and consistently find and hyper-focus on issues with the world aren’t motivated to be successful. I’ll add that the world will never “get better” for you, or for anyone else, if you sit around moping about it. I’m also someone who struggles with anxiety (pre-current job) and while it’s a struggle, it’s something I choose to handle because that’s just the cards I was given in life. Literally everyone has struggles and while empathy is great when rock bottom hits or a real problem emerges, you aren’t special in your stressors of day to day life. Do the work, stay proud of the work, focus on growth and you’ll make something of it. Beats the hell out of sitting around and feeling miserable!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I'm glad someone is speaking about this issue. Anxiety is a baseline emotion. The four base emotions are happy, sad, afraid, and angry. Anxiety is a nuanced version of afraid. Depression is a nuanced version of sad. An anxiety or depressive disorder is when it is pervasive without a logical trigger. Most of the time people are depressed and anxious for a reason. The over-use of these terms as disorders drives me wild. You're supposed to feel depressed after abandonment. You're supposed to feel anxious towards the unknown. Those aren't examples of disordered thinking.
1st world people so detached from nature and anything natural, to the point that human emotion is foreign to them, and hard to describe. Animals have anxiety because it keeps them alive, animals without anxiety get into situations that kill them, or when they are to afraid they miss out on situations that will develop them, like public speaking.
I dated a woman with severe anxiety disorder and she hated how comfortable people bring up anxiety in small situations. Slight emotional distress isn’t anxiety. And we naturalize feeling any type of negative emotion is bad. It is part oh human nature to feel things; in both spectrums.
You know there are criteria for diagnosing depression and they are not just feeling sad right?? right??? Or you are just expressing an opinion on a very spesific matter that you have no idea about?
@@ffcrazy Yes, I do know that. A mood disorder is classified as persistent low or high mood that lasts for over two weeks without any known cause. Most people are depressed and anxious because they are under extreme stress and do not realize or address it. That is not disordered thinking. That is the body using it's natural stress response (fight, flight, or freeze). In most cases, extreme moods balance over time after making lifestyle changes. With disordered thinking, no amount of lifestyle change can help without medical intervention. A common example is SSRI medication intervention with depressive disorders. A depressive brain makes serotonin, but does not hold onto it for very long. Someone with a true depressive disorder can exercise, eat a great diet, socialize, get sunlight, etc... but none of it will matter because all of the feel good chemicals get thrown out immediately. Taking an SSRI locks the escape door so that serotonin can linger long enough to have an effect. SSRIs do not create serotonin on their own and are only effective with a healthy lifestyle. That's a big reason why those medications do not work for many patients-- they are not making lifestyle adjustments to create enough serotonin in the first place.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and I’ve grown tremendously because of therapy. I have Bipolar II disorder and I will probably be therapy in most, if not all, of my life. I have a good job, eat SUPER healthy, go to the gym five days a week, and run errands. Guess what? I still struggle with depression from Bipolar disorder, current and past trauma, or debilitating anxiety. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. Our brains ruminate naturally. Exploring that in therapy and having them intervene helps stop rumination. They are actually trained to help with rumination. Therapy does the complete opposite of encouraging rumination. I kept ruminating on an event and even kept having nightmares. After two sessions, the rumination and nightmares came to a stop. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or won’t acknowledge they are repeating their childhood trauma because they are blind to it. I was, too, until therapy. Most people grow up in dysfunctional families and wouldn’t know a healthy relationship or healthy communication if it hit them in the face. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense or something some people can push through, at least not healthily. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. Listen to Huberman, a neuroscientist who is educated on the subject. The people who don’t go are the ones who need it the most, I’ve noticed. The people in my life who won’t go to therapy have the most toxic behaviors, maladaptive coping skills, and don’t know what it takes to have a healthy relationship. This low-key set me off as it’s spewing nonsense and putting stigma back out there for therapy and is false information. She also acts like it’s the therapist's job to tell someone what to do, which is ethically wrong for therapists to practice for a good reason. No one can tell you what’s best for you. They ask you questions and guide you to come to your own conclusions and what’s best for you. If you want to read about resilience, read Supernormal. Yes, trauma is a part of life. It’s why therapists and the field of psychology exist to begin with, to help ease our suffering and cultivate better and healthier coping skills and relationships. Another good book, Body Keeps the Score, literally has brain scans that prove our brains can't just “get over” trauma to counteract that point made of just getting over it. When she gives that example of returning to school and calling it a bad memory, it isn’t that, it is a flashback look at an fMRI. The brain will show what it did as if the trauma were actively happening. We learn these things so we can better help ourselves and treat others. Just because we can say “get over it”, doesn’t mean we should. Just because we have our hands doesn’t mean we don’t use tools. Same goes for therapy, just because we have our brain doesn’t mean we can’t use tools to help ourselves make our lives better and easier. Just because we all have hands doesn’t mean some don’t get arthritis. Same with our brains. Just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t get mental illness as a result. The point is, just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t need treatment. It’s why we invent things like tools. As we keep learning about psychology and our brains the more we are learning the way we used to do things isn’t good and there are better ways to go about it instead of just ignoring our trauma and pushing things down. This whole conversation is essentially against using a tool that lessons our suffering, and progresses and educates us.
I went to a therapist from late 2020 - late 2022.Probably round 20 sessions.I had become increasingly depressed and hopeless in life and was having constant suicidal thoughts.She really helped me as she gave me some strategies and plans for dealing with my depression and anxiety and helped my structure my life better.It's the best decision I ever made but most of what she told me was basic common sense and good old fashioned advice, not some wonder cure.I think that is generally what good therapy can be just helping the person help themselves to live a better life.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijthere are a lot of reasons for this. We have more broken families that don’t talk anymore, often families members live far apart sometimes even on different continents, often older relatives also can’t understand the more „modern“ problems of younger people (talking about generational conflicts) and so on. I don’t think that a going back to what is was is going to be easy bc the world is just drastically different. And maybe „common sense therapists“ are the solution for that.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and because of it I have grown tremendously. I have Bipolar II disorder, high-functioning autism, and ADD, and I will probably be in it most, if not all, of my life. I’d have to disagree that it is common sense, not even disagree. It's more of a fact. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. If you look at our parent's generation (Gen X and above), you’ll see none of this is common sense. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or are blind to the fact that they are repeating their childhood trauma. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. People spend their lives studying this, and there is a reason they are called professionals.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijI don't go to therapy, but the obvious reason why family isn't good for this is because of conflict of interests. Normal people also haven't been trained like therapists. It's effectively a crap shoot for advice. Family members also have emotions and egos that can be hurt
First and last time I went to therapy, it was a group therapy for adults struggling with ADHD. I went in thinking it was going to be about learning and came out realizing it was for people to talk about themselves and the therapist to offer condolences, exactly as stated in this interview. And now I realize I wouldn't have overcome so many challenges if I was offered an excuse earlier in life to get out of hard work.
Yep, that’s how rehab was for me. Group therapy was often hijacked by narcissistic females. The quiet ones who were the vets never talked even though you could tell they’ve seen some shit. I would give my two cents on things like Near Death Experience stories and float around ideas like taking ibogaine to quit drugs, but people would shut me up and give me the evil eye in favor of the girl that only wanted to talk about her friend group and how she was 30 and too old to have babies and how her daddy threatened to fly in on his helicopter to take her to a more expensive rehab facility that celebrities went to.
Group therapy is about interpersonal learning and attachment repair. If you find yourself hating it and being woefully independent, that’s likely your interpersonal strategy that both helps you and generates a lot of your problems
Best motivation I got when I broke both femurs, both arm and pelvis, in a car accident and got depressed because I found out the metals in my femurs were permanent “did you want them to chew a gum and stick your bones together? Don’t ever miss physical therapy again”
I’m 34 now but I’ve had issues like this since I was younger. I spent much of my 20s intoxicated, but I weaned myself off and have been doing so much better.
I was a severely depressed and anxious teenager due to a horribly toxic abusive home life. I went to talk therapy numerous times throughout these years and EACH TIME, with EACH NEW THERAPIST, I became more depressed and anxious because all we would talk about throughout the therapy session was my issues, my home life, the past, the pain, the depression, the anxiety, why why why, how I'm feeling, etc. So my PERSONAL experience is that talk therapy makes things worse. Its also why marriage counseling is known as the kiss of death for every relationship. Sucks the life out of everyone.
When a toddler falls down and no one sees they don’t have any reaction. When everyone is looking and starts comforting the toddler they immediately loose it.
Because the toddler has no other choice but to self-sooth. You might say that's "toughening them up" but the truth is it leads to a self loathing adult that believe they're not worthy of love and comfort, making loving relationships very difficult, leading to a perveying feeling of loneliness and sadness.
@@jamesburke9865 Or the toddler looks for social cues on how to respond and if there is no knee jerk response by the parents or siblings, then they don't interpret it as a big deal and react accordingly. Like if a parent giggles and doesn't rush over to help vs smothering the child with concern causes the toddler to then be concerned. First 7 years of a child's life is mostly download mode (Theta brainwave dominant) to form the personal identity that becomes solidified as the ego.
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child” is a quote I heard recently that has really got me thinking lately. So many parents do everything in their power to set their kids up for success that the kids don’t understand how to create that success for themselves.
@@HabitualJoker I studied Ancient Greek history and the society. This is what the issue of “good times make weak men” come in. Philosophy was originally designed to address this issue and how to catch conartists when you don’t know the subject area
I applaud her for saying this. I feel that modern clinicans are taught to diagnose instead of allowing the young person to discover themselves on their pwn with a little info, a chance to talk about it and give them the keys to solving it themselves. Most people have some trauma and some grief. That can't always be fit into the frameworks of the latest updates to the DSM or personality disorders. It's as if the mental health system wants to keep them dependent on that system.
She makes an excellent point- no one talks about the adaptive purpose of depression, everyone just wants to 'cure' it. Maybe you're supposed to be depressed for awhile, even a long while, to get you to transform into a different person.
For the most part, BUT, it isn't always that simple. I believe depression for sure has a purpose but sometimes it can be so heavy, so overwhelming, that a person loses will. I definitely don't think every case of depression should be so heavily medicated. That shit is poison.
Absolutely. I went through a deep depressive period a few years ago. I mean, every morning as I woke I was upset I hadn't perished during the night. Absolute despair, no hope. But I got though it and am so much better today. This taught me that I CAN get through something like this. And now if I start to feel that downward spiral this knowledge that I can pull through actually helps me elevate my mood and get back on track. The experiential knowledge that there is hope saves me from descending into complete hopelessness.
I would say in a lot of cases yes but I’ve firsthand have watched my sibling go through crippling depression for over a year they’ve had no will to do anything and it hasn’t improved in even the slightest. I don’t know what answer there could be for them other than medication at this point
In the past year I lost one of my oldest and best friends to brain cancer at the age of 30. Two weeks after that my little brother died from a heart disorder and a month after that the new kitten my wife and I had that was 11 months old was diagnosed with FIP and died within a week, i also celebrated 3 years clean from heroin. This happened while I made the choice to go back to school at the age of 30 after dropping out when I was 16. All of this has made me feel more resilient and proud of myself than I ever have and I hope the younger generation learns the value of suffering and hardship and surviving it all. The quote that reminds me to push forward the most is by Marcus Aurelius who said " life puts no burden on a man that he is not fit by nature to bare."
I’m a therapist and i’ve been chastised by companies for releasing clients “early” Which is absolutely absurd. I am CONSISTENTLY frowned at from others in my field when I say “3-6 months my client should be discharged” if not, im collecting a check and I fully believe that. I am leaving corporate Clinical Mental Health after I am licensed. And I am committed to combating this generations feeble mindstates, because many therapists refuse to do it because yes, it lines their pockets. You will experience anxiety when a familiar situation arises. It IS a part of life, and it is ADAPTIVE and it’s so important to lean into simply understanding. Resiliency is what therapists don’t often build and that’s one of the biggest problems.
I understand. I like the phrase "moving forward with Dad". We talk about my kids' late father openly. Pictures around the house, his hat still on his hook in the hallway. His story lives on...
Therapy isn't always about reminiscing on negative thoughts and working through old trauma. Therapy for me has been a way to learn ways to break the cycle of those constant negative thoughts and emotions, and to have tools to navigate through life's challenges. I've had therapists tell me they weren't there just to be someone to vent to and those were the best therapists I have worked with.
The people in these comments tell on themselves right away. They’re anti therapy. One of the above comments said it best, “we didn’t have therapy, we had confession.” Most people still have the warped idea that religion is the only way to rid yourself of negative emotions, and that lack of religion is the cause of negative emotion. If you got Abigail Shrier to sit down with a few glasses of wine, she’d say the exact same junk.
This is important. Therapists should build relationships with their clients. Then they can break down walls and preconceptions. They can call folks on their shit and teach them new templates on how to approach life. They can grow the childish folks into healed adults. Over a quarter of therapists aren’t good therapists.
I’m 42 with a 22 yr old son and I finally have gotten him to realize that this terrible situation will be a distant memory in a short time. Every day is new and if you move forward every day you will learn to live with your issues.
Well, not dealing with situations, especially if they are traumatic is not healthy. You can bury it all you want, but it will follow you. Time isn't the only consideration in the equation.
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 Okay then how would you recommend dealing with it? My brother recently went behind my back and lied to others. Long story short, he has a history of racism. He became a democrat a couple years ago and became VERY anti racism, while still being a racist. His coping mechanism has been to accuse others of being racist. He and I had a bit of a falling out where I told him he needed to stop lying to other people saying that mutual friends had said things they never said; it doesn’t help him overcome the racist things he has said and done. He then turned around and started telling our mutual friends I called someone the n word… which is absolutely not true. I talked to him about it, he denied it. Then I proved I knew and he had a panic attack and said he had to talk to his therapist about it. We tried talking again weeks later and he refused to acknowledge our previous conversations. There’s only two options I have now. I can forgive him and move on, or I can cut him out of my life altogether. Take a guess what a therapist told me I should do lol
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Take it with a grain of salt, but in my experience, the problem with this kind of advice is that it sounds too cliche and too far outside the experiential capacity of kids to register with them. Kids don't live on the same timeline as adults, talking about how something won't affect them in the future is like telling them that they need to save for retirement, it doesn't matter to them because they don't live in the future yet. You have to speak to their current moment, because that's where they live, in the moment. Kids have to be motivated to do something right now, often times even pressured beyond their comfort levels. You have to be real, speak to their current situation and not some generalized "We all go through this and come out better at some indeterminate point in the future" kind of reassurance. Again, just my experience.
It's like telling your son to live with a broken arm instead of getting it looked at by a professional. Animals do that, live with their injuries and suffer. Some don't heal very well and they die early. Humans live long because we have doctors. We have doctors for issues including trauma. Move with the times, dude.
My father passed away dramatically and unexpectedly when I was 16. My grandfather, a retired old school physician gave me the best advice: don't take any psychiatric meds to "cope" with it. I am so grateful I didn't pick up a habit of pill popping for life events virtually everyone goes through, no matter how horrible. You need to grieve, you need a community and you need to eventually move on.
I spent damn near 30 years bottling my emotions. not into drugs, but i would always find something to erase how i feel. tried therapy a couple times. they really just annoy me after a while bc they all never understood that i am always going to feel this way. that dark stain is always going to be there. No matter what. but yet here i am still making it happen. shouts to yall for not giving up. love yall.
Do they have to understand you? My understanding of therapy is that they were supposed to help guide you out of that thing they diagnosed you for. Therapy is not a place for you to be understood or to seek inspirational wisdom
Dude I know exactly what you are talking about. The feeling that darkness is the fundamental core of your being. It would come up for me especially when high on marijuana or mushrooms. Not the feeling that I was filthy but that I WAS filth and darkness itself in my very being. It was washed away in baptism. That feeling is gone. Life is still hard but I have found a peace I could not have believed.
@chadpilled7913 thank you for sharing. I smoked herb for ½ my life. I can relate to how you describe it. I also was raised to "be a man", "shake it off and keep going", all that bullshit. I have a 8yr old son now and I protect his light/innocence bc nobody protected mine. It's strange dealing with generational trauma. but look at us. we're still here. love you brother. be safe.
Social Worker here. Something that gets forgotten is that distress isn’t the only measurement upon which therapy/counseling should be decided. Diagnoses are determined not just by symptoms but the impact of those symptoms on a person’s functioning. Bad memories and bad feelings are just that. Anxiety when passing your old middle school is not fun, but so what? Now if any of those bad memories or reactions significantly adversely affect your behavior or quality of life - for instance driving a mile out of your way on your daily commute to avoid passing your old school, or frequent nightmares, or panic attacks, or becoming physically violent with your spouse or child - then seeking professional help is something worth considering.
But what if the traumatic event isn't all that bad, and because people pushed the idea that it *is* when it wasn't, it created a horrifically false representation of a symptom that was no worse than breaking a toe? That's to say, what if someone was being convinced that their ant hill was indeed a mountain? THIS is the discussion being had. The latter seems to be on the rise.
@@AlexBizzar social media (as I assume you’re referring to by “people pushing the idea”) can’t just convince you into having a mental illness though. Now, life comparison as a result of social media can have an impact on your own perceived successes/failures which may yield a negative outcome. But I don’t think that the internet alone is gonna be the sole factor of someone experiencing severe, debilitating symptoms. Also take into the fact that in cases that severe, symptoms had likely been occurring since childhood, but obviously diagnosis and mental health awareness was significantly different than what it is now.
Dads are there to put kids in scenarios where they learn that life is hard and it sucks. More importantly dad is there to teach how to make through those scenarios.
High school teacher here. I've made a few observations. 1. The more internet/computer-centric a student's leisure time is, the more social problems they tend to have. (this could be a "chicken or the egg" type of scenario, but the fact remains...) 2. Students who engage in extracurricular clubs and sports tend to have less behavioral issues and tend to have better communication skills. 3. Those students with two parents who take active roles in their child's education tend to do better academically and socially.
I’m a older gen z. I believe that the biggest problem my generation has is not being able to do what you want. I think the most of us want a family but don’t have a good example of a close relationship. And feeling afraid of doing wrong or not feeling worthy. Therapy doesn’t always have an effect. You can’t therapy away every stimulus. Life becomes easier if you learn to prioritise and move on. PS I had a wonderful childhood and parent (happily married)am grateful for everything I have. I do well economically and socially but an acknowledge that this is fairly rare nowadays. I just wish that we could do better by the kids- the future of our world.
I don't think any generation has an example of a good relationship but they still had kids and a family. It's just a matter of passing the trauma down until one generation finally fixes it. Not saying that's what you should do btw, just that most generations didn't stop to think about those things. They just followed the animal instinct.
Confidence needs to be taught it changed my life and confidence can get you further than literally anything in life outside of that being born into rich. We do a bad job of teaching your generation confidence and giving you reassurance. I do my fair share and then some for sure. I work with your generation everyday and I watch these kids life change within moments of just being around my words. However I know for the average American this isn't a truth sadly. Just remember you can do anything and your generation is the one who's intelligent enough to change the world as we know it.
I tell my kids, "Sometimes what upsets you isn't worth being upset about. Sometimes you won't have time to be upset and you'll need to move on with life"
I really like how she talked about depression and reminiscing in negative thoughts.. Today, we have more names for negative feelings/situation. We can call it out, but there is no end step, just the statement of the trauma, and it labels us. But, we forget that humans have been going through (most) these things since the start of the social human timeline. I think it’s the connection to knowledge and the lack of socialization that made humans emotionally weaker, we cannot be resilient when we are in our thoughts and our screens. It doesn’t help that the self care industry isn’t here to help, but make money.
I tell my son to suck it up all the time. He used to hate me for it (in the moment), but now that he’s 13, and can see how he can handle so much more adversity than most of his peers, he is thankful for it - and he appreciates me for teaching him to be tough.
I’d imagine those who have stand out like a sore thumb. Probably easy to get hired for work, but a pain to manage others who weren’t brought up that way.
Trauma for a child is different than trauma for an adult. Things affect children’s differently, they aren’t talking about blood and gore trauma they are talking about emotional trauma.
Bro, I have genuine ptsd from my childhood and the first time I saw a war vet 3xperience ptsd my response was,"how tf are we diagnosed with the same thing?!"
Throughout my life, I've seen about 4 therapists. I think it's important to understand that with therapy, the first therapist you come across might not be a good fit for you. A good indication for me was that everything they were telling me made me feel like I already knew, like I could guess where they were going to take things because the questions were extremely basic and almost "boring" in a sense. There was "no breakthrough". Usually by the second visit, I knew if it was gonna work or not. One therapist wouldn't listen at all and just asked a bunch of text-book questions and would just write and write, but she was young and "new" to it I guess, idk. Another therapist, tried hypnotizing me by the second visit, and I was like, "NOPE!". It took me 4 therapists and at 28 years old, I found that a child therapist was the answer and gave me an enormous amount of help. I don't know if the fact that my trauma stemmed from childhood made the difference cause her approach was like nothing I ever experienced. We meditated, listened to music, drew maps and formulated timelines of events, journaling was also a thing and so on...and it was incredible. It saved my life. I went for 8 sessions and that was the last time I went to therapy. Also, it's important to understand that even though therapy and psychiatry go hand in hand and they work together, you don't need a psychiatrist to get well. One thing I realized is that therapy was one thing and psychiatry was another. I had to learn that on my own because that was never explained to me. It was always, you go to therapy, then you visit with the psychiatrist and then if therapy was "over" you'd then comtinue on with the psychiatrist. More than that, if you started on a certain dosage, they would start increasing it little by little because it's a chemical that your body gets "used" to, so they say and they have to continue raising the dosage. So I learned to understand that as well and because I saw what medication did to my mom, I vowed never to use it. So I did my therapy with no medication and I always voiced that to my therapists. Some would say, "well, we'll try and see..." meaning they would try to convince me of it later again and so I wouldn't go back. And that child therapist I saw simply said to me, "okay, I respect that. And we can certaintly do that." I was suffering from conversion disorder and agorophobia at the time and I never needed medicine. My conversion disorder ceased. I've never had another episode and I just turned 41. I sometimes still feel a little agorophobic in certain places, but very seldom. A low stress lifestyle, working remotely, good diet, positive social media (podcasts on spirituality like Buddhism, Ekart Tolle, BK Shivani, Affirmation Guided Meditations, how to financially stabilize myself, etc) have changed my life. So I'm an advocate for therapy 100% but you gotta understand that you have the ability to say no to the things that are not serving you. And you most certaintly got to want to get better. Of course, every situation is unique and the way I went about things is not a cure-all for everybody, some people do really need medication, but the point is that just because you go to therapy doesn't mean, they control all aspects. You have to ask questions too, and voice your concerns about your health as well. You have to make it into a conversation, and formulate an understanding of what it is you're looking to accomplish and understand the process of what it'a going to take for you and your therapist to accomplish it together.
I was depressed for years, convinced my anxiety was a feature of my character rather than a struggle I could overcome. I'm not completely free of it, but compared to how I was for the majority of my life it's like night and day. The key? Exposure, for one, I thought I had to limit my exposure to social situations because it caused me stress, but stress was what I needed, like a muscle that was weak from little use, it hurt to strengthen it, but if I avoided the pain it would last forever. I had to suffer greater pain now for less later. Lot of people just accept they're broken now and don't try to fix themselves. The only shame in weakness is the acquiescence to it.
Very valid point. Going to therapy is just a wealthy person construct. Rich people who don't have time to teach their kids how to grow up. What they call "exposure therapy," is just exactly as you said... Exposing yourself to all those environments you fear, so that you adapt and overcome. That's neuroplasticity at work. The mind essentially has to be trained to handle more stress and responsibility. Social media is probably the cause of most of these issues, because it allows you to ruminate and get feedback from like minded people about your emotions. It causes more indulgence in negative patterns and weak emotions that you'd normally have to disregard quickly.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Came to the exact same conclusion after dropping over 30 pounds in the last month & half through intense diet & exercise alone(im talking 8-9 hours of elevated heart rate & sweating from labor while wearing severel layers.drinking 3 liters of water a day & the exact amount of salty carbs. My motivating factor was to start skateboarding again & as soon as I set my goal & refused to make excuses against that goal shit changed my life seemingly overnight.
I've been to therapy twice. Weekly for a year at 27. Twice-a-month for 6 months at 44. Huge impact on my life. It gave me tools to talk to myself and to other people.
Yes for things like anxiety or self esteem it’s helpful but if your gonna go fir some heavy trauma issues? U better ask yourself is it worth going back on something that’s done with? And was it so traumatic that I actually need more than talk therapy in Fact I should go get Psychedelic Therapy?
As a therapist (LPC), there’s a lot I disagree with in practice. It’s so hard to find a good therapist that’s also affordable. But there are some out there really trying to make changes. Like all systems, it’s multifaceted and terrible and so many people fall between the cracks and there’s also a lot of people getting help they need. I love Abigail and the light she is shedding on these extremely important topics on mental health 🙌🏼
Many therapists deal only with the 'worried well'; first world problems. And I am dating myself when I share that as a kid I frequently heard from my parents "I'll give you something to cry about!" It was good 'therapy'.
I’ve felt this way about mental health for a long time. Coming from a sister who has been in therapy for most her life, on countless meds, ruminates over hard times in her very privileged upper middle class life. I’m not saying she didn’t have hard times, but I do think that years of wallowing and therapists constantly validating her and not challenging her to be brave has really stunted her growth as a person. It’s heartbreaking
Millennial here…started trauma therapy last year & my life is greatly improving. Two things can be true at once, perhaps multiple things can be true when a situation is multi faceted…parenting out of fear holds a child’s development back, neglecting children causes so much psychological trauma…doing the best you can to love & equip them as best possible for their lives is the goal.
The main point this video doesn't elaborate on is: Yes, there are cases where depression/anxiety can be debilitating and require psychiatric care. But that is like, 1/50 people nowadays. Literally everyone says they're depressed/anxious/on meds/clinically bi polar/whatever. No, no, you're not. Not all of you. It's become trendy and quirky to be mentally unstable. With the advent of social media, the problem is magnified and blown way out of proportion.
This lady is very wise. My husband is being forced into another job or career by his current boss who is, understated, one of the worst people to have employees working under him. Bad situations forces you to be strong, unfortunately sometimes they break people who are not strong or just doesn't have it in them to fight or overcome. I find that so sad because I've been there but I've been able to overcome abuse and survive and it makes me feel like I can climb mountains. Everyone should be able to do it and to feel this way! I was born in 1985 by the way, the sink or swim generation! We have loads of emotional baggage from our parents but we are mostly brave & strong (to generalize which I should not do but we were taught to get up and keep going).
I saw lots of gen z being told to suck it up. Working with kids in their homes gets you a different perspective, seeing real family dynamics. This woman is really smart and speaks a lot of truth though. Especially with regards to predatory therapists
I’ve said this for years and it ticks a lot of people off, usually it’s whiny cry babies who say words like “trauma” “triggered” and claim they have PTSD even though they’ve never been to war
True! Ukrainian with a hard life here ;) When your life is a nightmare, you do something to stay strong, survive and be happy. People who have no real problems have a lot of free time and they spend it whining and feeling sad for themselves, and it only makes it worse. I tried talking to psychologists and even to a psychiatrist, and it was never more than one conversation by the end of which I would somehow end up being the one who listens to someone else's problems😅. I got over depression, trauma, PTSD (a real one that you get from listening to explosions), anxiety, and insomnia without meds. The secret is to stay busy, find someone whose life is even harder, and help them (so you're not focused on your problems too much), stay busy (work, study, sports, art, books... whatever you can do), express love and care (family, friends, random people, pets, plants... just give more love to the world), and pray to God (even if you don't believe when life's not easy, maybe it's time to try). Works for me every time🙏.
Oh you poor victim, So much for muh feminism for living a privileged life but when it comes to defending your country hearing explosions is suddenly traumatic LMAO, is that why they made it mandatory for men and young boys to die in battle fighting for "victims" fleeing their country?
Ps. Go fight for your country and earn your muh feminism instead of preaching victimhood and living comfy while young boys and men forcefully enlist and die for you just because they happen to be men.
I’m really glad to hear that you overcame your hardships and and found a way to deal with life where you feel ok and fulfilled. However, the trauma you get from being emotionally abused by your family is just as “real” as the trauma you get from listening to explosions.
Lol alright bro. Happy it worked out for you but you are literally just not smart if you think this is what will work for the majority of people. Damn the Russian uses stoicism to deal with his pain instead of intellectually addressing his issues? Insane reality I could've never predicted. Go away.
@spaceowl5957 The only way to overcome family abuse is to understand that those who abused you, were abused themselves. Find out what happened to them, try to understand their pain, try to see why they are messed up, and forgive them. Keep a healthy distance to never let it happen again, and explain to them how to talk to you if needed. With older people, it can be hard to change anything, and it's not their fault, they might know nothing about psychology, they didn't know about their own traumas and about the consequences of their behavior. There's violence that is passed from generation to generation, and if you decide to be the last one to pass it, you can break the vicious circle. It can be helpful to remove yourself from family abuse geographically for a while. It can also be helpful to be financially independent, so nobody will tell you what to do with your life. Stay strong, and be wise. Remember that absolutely everyone is messed up one way or another, and if you can function in society, you're doing great🙃
What they don’t understand is people with anxiety like me who struggle every day to get up and actually wanna do something with our lives…. Every day, I fear that I won’t live up to expectations of people around me. I am a big people pleaser to my lack of an emotional relationship with my parents, and being told by them that I would never get into the college of my dreams. Which I didn’t and kept having to go to different colleges, and switching majors until I decided on what I’ve always wanted to do since I was little. But now because of my bad track record with school, and my GPAs, I’m not able to get into the program that I wanted to, even though I was doing so much better grade wise because I was finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do. But now married at 24, I feel like even if I do get my degree/license, I still won’t make enough money to support my husband and our future kids….While also trying to work to be able to pay some of our bills, and run a cat rescue on the side…
I had horrific postpartum depression (several factors were involved) and antidepressants were the first suggestion my obgyn went with. I didn’t take them because I wanted to actually work on the factors I knew were contributing to it. Things were awful and my relationship with my husband struggled a LOT. But it forced us to figure out what needed to change and how to make things work. I don’t regret not taking them (and our baby is healthy and happy)!
My daughter is giving a presentation in school this week. Half the class just said they weren't doing it. When I was in school (I'm 44 now) there wasn't even an option to not do it.
Wait…you can’t be serious…is that really an option now
Gen x had no option!❤💯we still don't!
That’s a good thing. Nobody should be forced to do something against their will. If you don’t work you don’t make no money but you have the choice. Shouldn’t force anyone to stand in front of everyone and present a project and speech or else they fail. Not right
@@bigzachfulthat’s exactly the problem… cringe reading your comment… my children would never
@@AFatOcelotprobably not but if enough kids just say no what do you do as a teacher?
We couldn’t afford therapy growing up. Instead we went to confession at church. When I was 15 years old (in the 80s) I was confessing to the Priest feeling like a horrible person. He leaned around the screen (which was a shock to me) and said, “You need to lighten up. You are not a bad kid. I’m not even going to make you do penance. You are free to go.” I was so shocked! I took his words to heart and now in my 50s still remind myself of that. Society at large (and of course parents) needs to reinforce to young people they are ok. It’s ok to make mistakes. To try and fail. Failure is learning in action. Failure is feedback. I wish I could give all Gen Z’s a big hug. Instead I volunteer at my Alma Mater to give talks to classes and Jen asked to do so and speak on resilience. As a mom of 3 adult sons I’m an expert. I bet you are too! Let’s be the village to support and encourage the younger generations-not mock them.
❤️ thanks for that. I’ve commented this on another post but I do feel like gen z is a product of their environment (chronic stress, fear, uncertainty, insecurity). I think it’s really hard for us to find community, support, generosity and a place where we feel safe. Instead, it feels like we are met with more judgment, fear and criticism. We are great kids but we are really struggling right now and need someone to believe in us as we are.
Fuck yes!!! Thank you for that. As a millennial who didn't have everything given to them I'm grateful as fuck for my parents and mentors. I may not have been given everything I ever wanted as a kid. However, I was given everything I ever needed.
Here, here!
It isn't okay to make mistakes or say the wrong things anymore, you will be canceled or arrested.
that’s true. and they’ve been cushioned from every sad, disappointing or bad emotion. When you aren’t able to experience that and learn from it as a young kid it hits you hard as a teen and adult.
The schools do this from the start. kids are supposed to socialize that way with each other but adults get way too involved and don’t let them figure it out.
What she says in the end here is the key. There is nothing wrong with feeling *all* emotions, including unpleasant or undesirable ones like anxiety or sadness, etc. All emotions are important and beneficial for different reasons. It's when you try to avoid or suppress these emotions when problems and disorders start to happen. For some reason we've come to believe that if you feel bad once in a while and aren't happy all the time then there is something wrong with you. And that couldn't be further from the truth. You can't have joy without sadness, just like there is no light without darkness. That is how it works. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
We can't come unless you give your name! What you say I utterly agree with though the key is how we "frame" this. It is the endless mental chatter that we identify with that feeds identification with the so-called negative emotions. In truth it is quite possible we have learnt to think of many of these as negative when they're actually just energy. The trick is watching thoughts and seeing they are NOT who we are. They are for the most part habitual conditioning.
But would love to watch your talk if you say who you are or send a link. Take care
Years ago, my aunt lost her husband to Alzheimer's. It was a slow and agonizing death. Towards the end she had to put curtains up in the living room because he would see his reflection in the glass sliding doors at night and either try to talk to "that man" or be so scared "he was after him". Years later, after I had been married for a while, I began to have a deeper understanding of how hard that had to have been, and the weight of that hit me so hard I cried (and I don't cry). I see her about once a year at Thanksgiving, so the next Thanksgiving I went up to her and said how much respect I had for her going through that - she stuck with him to the very end. Her response to me was simple. She said, "I come from a tough family, and that's just what we do." She's a child of the Greatest Generation - an actual Boomer. We have a lot to learn from previous generations, and I'm inspired and thankful to call her "family."
I miss my strong and wise grandma who just passed❤️ I learned so much from her which I hope to pass down to my future family someday. I genuinely believe it was a greater generation of stronger folks. We can deff learn something!
@@a1islamovic It *definitely* was "a greater generation of stronger folks." My dad grew up in the 1930s; he was an old man by the time I was born. When I think about how he raised me, and what he taught me, and compare it to my friends' parents, who were generally born in the late 50s or early 60s...I was very lucky.
The "greatest generation" was the WWI survivors. My parents were the "Silent Generation" and I'm an old boomer. I wouldn't say boomers were great. But they did figure out when relatively young what the "Establishment" was up to and did what they could to neutralize them.
What really helped me as a gen Zer was staying off social media, not comparing my self to others, and dipping my hand into everything I can. when I was 18 I was admitted to a psych ward because I was spending too much time thinking and moping about how much of a loser I felt like that I was becoming delusional hoping that my life would change somehow. When I started taking action and going back to school and pursuing a career my focus shifted from “why is my life like this?” to “how can I turn my life into this?”
Good move, social media is poison! Invest that time in something else that is actually good for your future and well being. Social Media will be the exact same BS ten years from now as it is today. Instagram for instance is just a marketing tool, more than half of what gets posted are fake. People as well, don't try too hard to make people happy, It is impossible. Been there and done that, learnt my lesson when it comes to people :)
Liar.
True. Thinking is a waste of time, give your self three options, weigh up the pros and cons, pick one and commit to the mfer.
Gen X here, and I want you to know that I see a lot of promise in your generation. You are the most like us, but we need to remind you that you are very resilient more than you realize. We had to fend for ourselves and it made us tougher because of it. I also see your generation as the one that brings the country back to God. Most of our problems are because secularism allows no room for mistakes and you learn a lot from failures. Faith gives you purpose to want to improve yourself while not worrying about others or comparing yourself to others. God loves us and never gives up on us and we are all redeemable. Please remember that. Hugs to you, you guys will accomplish a lot if you lead the nation back to its roots.
But could it also be due to microplastics and aluminum oxide and glyphosate.
Social media has destroyed an entire generation
It's wild....The internet is the greatest thing to happen to humanity and the worst at the same time
Pretty much
No, the algorithm that the Government controls has ruined the minds of the masses! People REFUSE to see the TRUTH and what’s really going on behind closed doors! The Government won’t tell you I’m Jesus Christ and how the 🕍 tortured my soul!! We live in a simulation! The 🕍 at the “top” of the pyramid aKA “food chain” are 🪳
Facts
#peace dopamine101
I’m a therapist and one of the first things I always recommend is exercise, eating healthier and getting OUT of your head and into the world. Any good therapist should know this stuff.
Also a therapist and yes I agree with you
Yep. Therapist here too. I always start with "natural mood-lifters" i.e. sunshine, exercise, positive social connections and positive words.
You guys rock! Movement and not ruminating on self will help a heck of a lot. Thanks Therapists. 😊
Not a therapist, but my experience with my kids is this is 100% true. And one of many reasons playing sports is so important.
My daughter was born pre-mature during COVID, my wife's C Section was very dramatic and we soon found out our families truly had no interest in helping with anything. I had a really hard time for a while and all the time family, friends, and Doctors were encouraging me to get on SSRIs and to get assessed for Anxiety meds. They convinced me to see a therapist and all he did was mirror back my every thought and tell me my only path was medication and lifelong therapy. I was convinced though that my biggest problem was a lack of sleep and independence so I persevered. Now my daughter is 3, healthy, and sleeps through the night. I have free time and have found myself again and in new form. I feel great, I am not depressed, and I do not struggle with anxiety. If I had listened I would probably be locked in for life.
Don't trust a doc who's super quick when it comes to hooking you up. Especially in things regarding mental health. People nowadays wanna blow their minds out with chemicals, no matter what's up. Anything that can be done without, should be done without.
Many forget that hormones are all messed up, too. I’m a nurse and so many young men have low testosterone. Low testosterone is associated with anxiety, fatigue, and low self esteem.
vaccines...
what are some reasons this generation has lower testosterone? Rogan had that one lady that claimed it was plastics seeping into our systems. Anything else common that might cause it?
@@hapaharley1706Could be a combination of factors.
They tried to medicate my hormones. I hit 25 and it just went away
@@hapaharley1706Its most likely parents not giving a fuck about their kids and sticking them in front of screens to distract them. The kids grow up complacent and without doing anything physical theyre not gonna be producing testosterone right. Its the parents not parenting. Its what it always has been.
I used to have severe depression. Then I turned 28 years old and realized I had wasted over 10 years of my life dwelling on problems and negative things. I had been to therapists, AA meetings, and been on multiple prescriptions. No doctor ever asked me how much sleep I got or gave me any real actionable advice. They just let me talk. And talk. And talk. And my sadness never got better. Then one day I read a famous old saying, “A young man went to an old wise man and said, “Old man, I have 2 dogs who are fighting, which one will win?” The old man said, “The one that you feed.”” This saying taught me that whatever you give your attention to is what you will become. I do not believe therapy or prescription drugs were ever truly helpful for me. Creating goals for myself and getting involved in healthy things is what saved me.
That's "the tale of two wolves". Native American proverb.
wow I have the exact same experience with therapists. What helped you stick to your goals?
This is basically my exact experience if you change our AA with OA-although I struggled with drinking also… finding meditation and Jordan Peterson’s work also helped me immensely. Attaching myself to another person and other people who were aiming up was huge… having supportive friends and family and cutting out toxic folk (which was basically a byproduct of the work that became self evidently necessary). I am so grateful for this video to help us raise our kids with a little more “tough love” and they get this proverb regularly as my fiancé is Native American and therefore our kids ancestors told this story… continue to tell this story. Continue to live this story… keep feeding the good wolves, friends.
I’m glad you were able to come out of that. It can be really hard but I’m glad you found the things that helped you get perspective ❤️
Thank you for your comment,that helped alot.🙏❤️
I remember when I got back from the psych ward after an unalive attempt when I was younger. I had undiagnosed bipolar depression and was just starting treatment. My family asked me what they could do to help me, and I told them straight up, act like nothing is wrong. Don't treat me like I'm sick. Please, just treat me like everything is normal. If things around me feel normal, I feel better. If I'm having depressive thoughts, I'll talk to the therapist who helps me through them. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about changing up meds. But from my family, from my environment, I want stability and positivity.
If everyone around me is constantly asking me if everything is okay and do I feel good today? I'm going to be thinking about why everything is _not_ okay all the time. Treating me like I'm depressed made me more depressed. I needed support and love, but not coddling. A hug and a "You'll be okay" goes a long way.
I was the same as you but I won’t demonize parents/families who check up on their mentally ill family members🙌
I hated the “you’ll be ok” I wasn’t ok, that just made it seem like they didn’t really give a flip just wanted me to shut up.
As a Pastor, this is absolutely true, I have personally seen someone who was a complete shut in, massive anxiety, panic attacks overmedicated. Step away from that, start going outside bit by bit, expanding their world bit by bit, getting exercise. Spending time in prayer, running errands etc. To now being able to walk to their local church daily and interacting with people. They are now going to go back to school and are getting their life right! Praise God! Medication and therapy typically make things worse, sometimes its needed, but ultimately, ruminating on the problem makes it bigger. Most people just need goals to work towards, daily physical exercise and IRL social time. A lot of these kids today spend all day indoors thinking. Its not good for them.
No
“I went to therapy once and all she tried to do was make me hate my Dad” -Shane Gillis
I remember that! 😂
this is truer than people even know
Ngl, a lot of Shane’s issues appear, to me, to stem directly from his father.
Idk him though 🤷♂️
@@jay3898 what issues? Seems like the dude is doing pretty well in life.
I want and they just kept asking how does that make you feel to everything I said. While looking at the clock very obviously just waiting for the hour to be over so they can go home. 😂😂😂
I was widowed 3 years ago, with 2 teenage boys and 7 year old girl. It was very traumatic for all of us, brain aneurysm at home in the middle of conversation. I had therapists want to put my 15 year old son on ssri after having talked to him for a total of 5 minutes. Wrong. This really bad crazy thing happened and you witnessed it. You need to process this event and move forward not block it out with chemicals. So that’s what we did. He felt all things as they came and we talked about it together, still do. One of my kids tried to pull the “I’m special because this happened.” Wrong. You are not special. Bad shit happens every day, it sucks. But that’s not permission to be a drain on the world around you. You can’t control what happened, but you can control your response to it. We aren’t moving on, we’re moving forward. Me specifically knowing I’ve already had the worst day of my life, I can handle whatever comes. And so can they.
You are a very strong person
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your family is doing fine.
You sound like a great mother and I hope everything turns out or continues turning out alright.
I can only imagine how tough this must’ve been for you and your children. And you also sound like a very wise strong and capable woman! Your kids will absolutely thank you when they’re old enough to understand how much you’ve endured to keep them safe and allow them to grow into the same capable strong adults that you are.
Parents MUST be strong. Who else is there?? Parents are no more prepared for adulthood, let alone raising others to be adults, than anyone else. Let that sink in. Parents "step up to the plate." They wing it daily, pulling from reservoirs previously unknown to themselves, hoping those under their care (and oftentimes themselves too) mentally survive another couple days. @@Mannsy83
But not everybody can be like you.
Sucking it up doesn't always work, if it works for some, I'm happy it does. I worked in trauma/ER and witnessed many things, unfortunately, one day while caring for my father at home he had a heart attack, and I did everything I could to save him, but he passed away in my arms before the paramedics arrived. The experience left me very confused, it was difficult to lean on my family because they were also hurting, sucking it up like I normally did, didnt work because of the love and appreciation I had for my father. I went to therapy and my life was given back to me. My therapist initially asked, "what brings you here"? To my replay, " it's difficult to give myself advice", a few takeaways from therapy. Everyone has a different threshold for pain/psychological challenges, leaning on family sometimes isnt an option, being able to speak to a neutral person who has the ability to unwed your thoughts, emotions for the sake of feeling better is self caring. Listen to what you need, I wish you all peace❤.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice. One of the many reasons and situations where therapy and the support is indeed necessary and good. God rest your father’s soul.
Obviously sucking it up for something like that is different. Although at some point you will ...even for something like that.
i agree with your perspective and so sorry for your loss. however i think the difference is you went through something genuinely traumatizing and truly awful. as someone considered gen z i believe she’s is talking about this generation of kids who are raised to have no ability to cope with basic or everyday life problems, not genuine traumatizing experiences. the issue here is that kids are so sheltered now and therapy isnt a real solution to how emotionally stunted being so sheltered makes you. again sorry for your loss god bless you and yours
Their talking about child not men! Yes what happened to you is life. But you overcame that situation. Child now and days are focused on “feelings” not navigating life. God be with you and give you strength but we need to build strong men and can lead their family!
@@estelacardenas6546 100%
As a parent who routinely says suck it up and get over it to my kids. Know this, it is essential to look your kids in the eye and tell them no or that they didn't do well enough.
She just single handedly expressed what I’ve been saying for years “regularly concentrating on your bad feelings will make you feel bad” simple as that
"Your focus determines your reality." - Qui Gon Jinn
Yup! I learned to partly overcome this for 10 years.
on the flip side to this, i think there's nothing wrong with concentrating on how you feel bad regularly as long as you redirect that energy to improvement or some sort of cautious optimism because you have to examine why you feel bad to overcome it. think its important to say this if someone reads this and decides to be like overly positive which is also mad annoying
@@beabadoobeefanq_q3701people who refuse to let themselves feel bad are like people who refuse to clean their home or take out the trash. When you ignore your problems, it feels like you’re having more fun and things are better, but that shit will pile up around you and start fuckin up your life.
I’ve gone through therapy and all this describes exactly how I feel about it NOW. For sure. Sure maybe it helped at first. But it’s NOT what works long term and correctly.
I’ve now evolved to “everything is all shit anyways so I have to start liking shit”
And it’s working for sure. I’ve become quite comfortable being uncomfortable and just expect it to be now so. That’s what I really needed to get over. Therapy does NOT address that.
I finally went to a therapist for a few months to address anxiety that I’ve had for 20-25 years (since childhood) and she helped me train my mind rather than give me meds. I think I saw her for 6 months and she was happy that I didn’t need her anymore. It was hard work but I never had that toolkit before. I think these kids need a toolkit rather than coddling .
May I ask what kind of tools worked for you?
@@SciHunter1337that’s a great question
That's great. I manage a healthcare centre & I see way too many ppl coming to see Drs & therapist with anxiety & they just get medicated to the hilt & after a while they end up with a addiction.
Good for you! Most people don't realize the point of going to therapy is to get to the point where you no longer need therapy.
Please..im interested to know what worked for you as well..i am not currently in the right place (financially) to be able to afford therapy..i know everyone is different but any tips would be hugely appreciated
I was struggling as a preteen to ride in vehicles after getting into a car accident with a friend's drunk parent at the wheel. I lived in a rural area where walking wouldn't cut it and I needed to be able to be comfortable in a vehicle again. After a few weeks of my parents having to slow way down because I would become too frightened and would begin to basically freak out and start climbing the seats, they decided we had to deal with the problem. They presented the idea of facing my fear and having me ride in the back while they drove extra fast around corners to see that I could survive the fear and anxiety. It only took one time of doing this to lessen my anxiety and all these years later, driving is one of my favorite places to be.
I think it can sometimes be helpful to face that which brings the most anxiety, head on. I know this won't work in every situation but it could be a great lesson for some.
💚🙏🏼
Gen Z here, my husband passed away when I was 8 months pregnant. Obviously, it was awful and devastating but something curious also happened. My anxiety, I'd been plagued with since I was 9yo vanished. A social worker came to talk with me in the hospital and said, "This is going to be a trauma for you..." and I cut her off "ma'am I dont think this is a trauma, its simply just a tradegy"
We are so insulated from death, in modern society, and while it's a horrible experience to endure loss, it does ground you. None of the little things bother you after enduring something so earthshattering.
this is true. I mean, the every day, earthshattering grief and constantly thinking in the past dosent help. Yet life goes on
I felt the same way when my mom died young. Since then I agree the little stuff became easy to handle
Parents do need to say “ Move on “
I’m Gen x , I grew up in good times. I do not envy Gen z , especially with social media , the economy , crazy politics, lack
Of
Community , etc etc
But they will need to figure it out - and they will ❤
Good for you standing up to these "trauma" experts.
Zoomers already out here having kids. wtf
Nervousness has been replaced with anxiety, sadness with depression, bad memories with PTSD, concentration with hyper focus, quirky with autistic, particularity with OCD. Basically what has happened is all aspects with everyone's personalities suddenly evolved into mental health buzzwords pushed along by tiktok and aided by better help. I can have a change in mood or a reaction to something without needing to psycho analyze myself and that's something everybody needs to relearn.
Dude… That needs to be shouted from the house tops. Well said.
Everything and everyone is trauma, ADHD, etc etc.
But what if you actually have autism? These mfs who fake ruin it for people who actually have it, I've felt different from anyone ever since I was toddler, it's some innate thing in me, different from you gen x
And you know why? They write laws that say any overnight on a mental health ward of a hospital\ mental emo diagnosis.., once you pick up a prescription to treat it, you are banned from owning firearms in the future. 2nd amendment can go f itself they don't need to repeal it, they can preclude it from being an issue within 30 years if no one qualifies as stable. We are cows, cows don't get guns.
Exactly bro I think it has to do w self diagnosis along w tik tok telling them to be comfortable with being mediocre
I found this video fascinating. I’m a military retiree who fights the idea that I have PTSD and my therapist insists on getting me to accept it. She’s willing to label it something else, but is set on me accepting my issues the military ‘gave me’. She tells me I have ‘trauma’ from car accidents and the lack of medical treatment I got at the ER on base. She doesn’t seem to try to encourage resilience but assigning labels and reasons. This video opened my eyes to stuff I was already feeling in ‘therapy’.
I was stationed at CENTCOM during a rough time and might have ‘issues’ with how we were treated, what we did or what we saw, but she is trying to get me to assign blame and almost use those things as excuses. A few of my fellow vets are in prison, one is on death row currently and the excuse is always PTSD. There’s such a bad connotation with that now that I’m ashamed to say I might have it.
Medical professionals told me for years my chronic pain from breaking my back had to give me depression. Anyone with as much physical injury and pain MUST be depressed. If I believed them, I would be the most depressed pos. People don’t teach resilience and sadly, or in my case,luckily, it’s in us or iit’s not.
Read the body keeps the score. It shows fMRIs and goes into studies that show the impacts of PTSD on the brain. Sorry to hear there is a negative connotation about it. Just because other people have it and use it as an excuse for their actions doesn’t mean those of us who take accountability and manage an illness should be punished for it. I have Bipolar II and have the same issues with negative connotations. I am open about it though, if they don’t want to educate themselves on it that’s not my problem.
She is undoubtedly one of the smartest, most common sense people I have ever heard explain depression & anxiety! This is terrific! Everyone should listen to this! Great job again Joe Rogan!
She's collecting royalties. If something real happened to her, you think she'd be all right? I don't see that in her.
I have a son with autism and a younger daughter. My daughter told me she had ADHD when she was 14. Self diagnosed lol. I knew she was fine. Just human. We had already gone through the steps of diagnosing my son with ADHD years before this, which took years. Literally. I entertained my daughter with a trip to a therapist thinking the therapist would tell her she was fine. I sat in a waiting room for 45 minutes and the therapist came to me and said she definitely had ADHD and they would hook her up with drugs right away (without talking to anyone but my daughter). Mind you, my son had MOUNTAINS of questionnaires that had to be filled out by any adult that had contact with him to be diagnosed with this just 6 years earlier. That's when I realized NO therapist is going to tell you that you're ok. That destroys their customer base. This is why every part of being human is now a "condition". They have made an industry out of feelings.
ADHD is really heritable btw so if your son has ADHD, that makes it considerably more likely his sister has it too
Therapists and psychologists can’t prescribe medication. Only psychiatrists can
@@Andrewoo99ADHD is not real. Describe to me a single shared trait between those with “ADHD”. Not shared behaviors. Not shared thought processes. A gene, a bio marker, a brain structure.
You can’t because no sure shared trait exists. ADHD is medicalization of a personality type. If you know anything about evolution by natural selection you can clearly see how advantageous the so-called “disorder” would have been in our evolutionary environment.
My mom has always been the only person to say I don't have ADHD in a sea of people telling me I do have ADHD. I feel like I wasted years believing I did and it made my focus worse instead of working to improve it. I had the perfect excuse to be lazy with my attention and speech. I'm working on it now and it's slow and a conscious effort but I believe it's working. Being deficient in crucial vitamins and minerals have contributed to it as well so I'm doing that in tandem. Maybe hard to pinpoint which is helping more, but I do feel it's both.
Oh you got that from your random facts in your cereal box@@Andrewoo99
Millennial here. Been through the bottom of mental illness. I’m over it now and living an amazing life. #1 thing that helps me is waking up and getting tf out of bed early in the morning. Around 7am. Life changing for me.
Some excellent points were made. We have 2 girls in college, and the amount of depression and anxiety among this generation is shocking! Between social media, the weight of the world's issues, financial struggles and job insecurity it's easy to see why. Oh and don't forget social anxiety too.
Agree and changing from your pajamas
@@lilibear62 yes. Rates of depression etc are at an all time high. I think they are also higher in women. Social media is a huge factor.
True, but 5am is even better.
@@RicoWorldPeace yeah, I actually got up at 5 today. Alarm was for 6:30 but sunrise got me up. 7 I think is reasonable because that means you can kinda wind down around 9pm, chill out, read a book or whatever. 10pm you’re brushing teeth plugging in your phone. Sleep occurs from 11pm-7am. It’s just a little more reasonable since my wife is a little bit of an evening person and I get to spend more time with her. I used to do 3am wake ups because I’d hit the gym before my construction job. That means in bed asleep by 7pm. That was crazy.
I have schizoaffective (combo of schizophrenia and bipolar) im 24 now and havent had an episode in 3 years due to sticking to treatment, the right meds, resilience and focusing on self care like journalling. If you want to get better sometimes falling on your face hard helps you realise like fck i need to do better and be better. My second psychosis 3 yrs ago came about because i stopped medication and thought i was healthy again. My ex ended things during my last psychosis and it hurt me so much because i realised i lost him and i lost myself in not treating my illness seriously and accpting that. It was a growth oppurtunity i see now and a huge life lesson.
This is one of the best interviews for a long time. So much clarity to what they are saying. This should be played in all schools.
Agreed 100%.
My grandmother used to always say “Stop complaining and do something about it”.
She was bipolar and raised 6 kids and was hospitalized a few times. She struggled with mental illness but also knew you had to live your life and not wallow in the pain! I also have mood/panic disorder and I lived a full life, career, marriage, children. I had a few episodes where I had to stop and get help, but came back from the setback and kept going!
Now your children can suffer from a lifelong mood disorder as well! Great job!
The Myth of Mental Illness is a great book, back then it was simple "struggle or die." Today western culture will provide all you need to self destruct (affirmation, medication, payment from the state etc.) since there's no drive to struggle.
Imagine if you had really bad tooth pain that was all awareness-consuming and were expected to not talk to anyone about it. How would you feel about that?
Your grandmother is very wise and agree with everything she said
The mind can play tricks on you. It is self destructive to think that you are not supposed to go through life without pain, hurdles, obstacles and difficulties. That's part of being a human being. So being told to get on with it is something that can sometimes be the answer you need to hear and not the thing you want to hear. The tooth pain is coming from a specific place and therefore you can do something about it. @@ckoperni
I’m a child therapist with an LPC but my undergraduate degree is in psychology and A big part of what I do is parent training rather than talk therapy. Parents absolutely transfer huge amounts of anxiety, over protect, and they live their life through a screen.
I was a child therapist in the school system for a while. I left the field because I could not be part of the systemic psychological abuse of children, the "therapeutic education", the weekly manipulative "circle times", the teaching boys that they are inferior to girls, the teaching and preaching that "there is no such thing as truth and right and wrong", that gender is a social construct, that the white male patriarchy wrecked the planet and oppresses girls and women, the banning of activities that boys enjoy, encouraging girls to "be assertive" and boys to "cry more", to value emotions and feelings over all else,... etc, etc.
So You say parents over do it, yet at the same time you had to give us all the credentials you had to gather before you were allowed to professionally talk with children, don't you think needing a Masters & a PHD plus all these certifications just to be a therapist is part of the problem too? By the time ya'll are allowed to practice your completely brainwashed.
I will say, as a 40 year old, screens feel safer and parents have always been transferring their fears and anxiety onto their children! I'm consciously trying to not put my issues onto my kids. My daughter is definitely not affected by my issues in the slightest and I admire her "I can do anything" attitude. I do want her to know that she will be hurt at times, but that's life's way of telling her to reevaluate things
As if decades of Journalist Activism isn't a HUGE part of the problem. Please. I like TJRE, but not this drivel. People like her are a huge part of the problem. Maybe that explains Joe's long pause after she finally shuts her yap at the beginning of the video. Would have loved to know what he was really thinking.
@@fastinbulvis2223 You have no idea what you are talking about. The causes and best treatments for anxiety have been well understood for decades but swamped and covered over with hundreds of false leftist studies that fail independent replication, and a flood of expensive exacerbation programs that further generate the problem and make wealthy careers for everyone involved in them.
This is a great clip. Feeling those things when they're not debilitating to your overall quality of life and don't pose a threat to your life (depressive unaliving thoughts, etc), are mega beneficial. Listening to this made me think back to all those moments of triumph which give me confidence today, and those memories of the journeys I went through to overcome some tough shit gives me good vibes.
Underrated tip: doing errands is great for your mental health. I love errands on a Saturday.
Read the _Tao Te Ching._
"Regarding muddy water: the more you try to stir the dirt out of it, the murkier it gets... leave it alone, and the dirt will settle out by itself."
Taoism is such a brilliant philosophy.
I like that. The Law of Reverse Effect
Even better read the bible, the word of God, not just of man.
2 Timothy 1:7: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Psalm 55:22: Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Hebrews 13:6: So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
@bendover0421 absolutely! 🙏❤️. I also love Psalms 23:4 and Ephesians 5:8
So "don't work on your problems" - not good advice for anything.
As a nineties kid, we went to school full time and had jobs at 13-14 years old so we could get a car, save money for the future or help our parents out. But we were outside more in nature, had real human connections and contacts and more importantly we didn’t have social media. Social media, in my humble opinion, is a major factor for these issues.
social media is so useful, but insanely dangerous considering mental health effects in my opinion
That's true but people work full time and can't afford basic necessities. Kids see the "grown ups" struggle because the economy is bad and wages are low. All I'm saying is it's different now, in tje 90s we could get a bs job and afford to buy and do stuff. These kids today? They get called lazy because they won't work a sht job for sht pay smh
It can be but also it's hard to explain to the older generations how them having to work and stuff at 13-14 years old is actually a major route cause of a lot of their trauma that they don't understand. That was so wrong that you all had to do that even if the outcome is perceived as great because in reality you weren't allowed to be a kid you were stripped of it early.
@@christjosh8853I worked at 13 and I still had a childhood. I only worked on the weekends 5 hours a day. I liked the idea earning money and owned at beater car when I hit 16 .
@@christjosh8853what?? We wanted to work and make money to buy vehicles and other stuff our parents couldn’t afford for us. Over I know in the 90’s at school tried get their driving permit at 15 so they had enough time under their belt to get their DL at 16. It was great. We taught to not be victims and take responsibility for our actions and also to be respectful. Can’t say the same for gen z.
One of my favorite quotes is from a Navy SEAL who said, "toughness is putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation until it is no longer uncomfortable. "
I'm a girl , i have two sisters. And my mom raised us telling us to suck it up. Told is that life will beat us way harder then the pain we feel now. It was great. I see how we grew up so much more resilient then people around us.
Yet you don't even know the difference between then and than. Maybe she didn't do such a good job after all?
Please share what you do for a living. How many people come to you for advice. What your adult relationships are like, etc.
Ive suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life. The best tip i can give is to find something you enjoy and are passionate about. For me it was hunting, fishing, and just being outdoors. Exercise is important to.
"Idle mind is a devil's playground" 👹
And push through the anxiety and depression. You can.
Add Jesus and God and you’re ready to Goooooo!!!!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Wow fascinating, being active and having interests is a cure for depression and anxiety. Almost like people knew this all along
I went on meds for depression and anxiety and my parents would tell me they’ve also experienced very similar symptoms sometime in life but they had to push through and had responsibilities so they just did what was needed to be done. However they did help me out and never questioned my symptoms. But they also did tell me to get out of the house more and not sit alone in my room because that would force me to think and think and getting anxious. I used to get angry at them thinking they don’t understand but now after years of being off the meds, I realise how good my parents’ advice was.
F anything s ever feeling suicidal or unable too function de 2 Depression? Take the meds if nothing else they stop the fall from continuing
@@cherobinson6371learn english
@@cherobinson6371 Aside from being barely legible, that's an odd response. Not everyone needs to be medicated, and doctors prescribe and push these things a majority of the time on people with less severe symptoms. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. I have felt suicidal and unable to function, and I take an anti-depressant. I haven't always, and won't forever. Everyone is different. Don't take offense simply because someone else got good advice, and didn't need the medication themselves.
@@cherobinson6371just don’t be soft
@@ds90seph Nobody is saying everybody needs to be medicated. Some do, that's a fact. Everybody is different and has different needs.
I've suffered depression on and off since I was a teenager. I spent the majority of my early 20s with untreated depression and it led to me neglecting my health and even just general hygiene. to the point that I wouldn't even brush my hair for days on end and I gained a ton of weight. It wasn't until I got on an antidepressant that I was able to have the energy to pull myself out of that funk and make positive changes in my life like going to the gym and focusing on taking better care of myself
Same here. Therapy and antidepressants got me out of the hole
In all my years watching this platform this woman has said what i already know in my mind bad things make you see life real life how evil people can be how beautiful people can be and how tuff the human spirit can be and endure im a 70s child so im tuff as nails and always watch over my family even when my family doesn't know i am.
The way people say they have PTSD so casually and commonly is insulting to people who truly suffer from real PTSD.
"trauma" 🤦
Real PTSD is fake now. The only real PTSD now comes from your barista getting your name wrong.
And to add to your point.. Anybody who actually has PTSD doesn't go around announcing it to the world. Virtue signaling is propaganda.
Lots of people have PTSD, but usually the undereducated think PTSD is only real when you’re having a full blown panic attack or some shell shock looking episode. PTSD is everywhere, nowadays it’s most likely C-PTSD. Are people over exaggerating it ? Probably, but it’s there
@@shadow13265 Saying it's there is a MOOT point. Nobody denies the reality of its existence. It's the fact that a label is being used for the self righteous gain.
I was 10 years old when I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. For a kid of that era it was a relatively brief period of great traumatic stress that had a beginning, middle and an end in an otherwise "free range" childhood. As a retired therapist when I try to understand Gen-Z - I can't help but contrast their childhood to mine. This generation grew up with the "chronic traumatic stress" of a sort of "non-stop Cuban Missile Crisis" - with the supposed "adults in the room" constantly scaring the hell of them. For two+ decades the mantra has been - "there could be another terrorist attack at any time anywhere," "Orange Alert," "Red Alert," "if you see something - say something," "climate change is going to kill us all," "we only have five more years to save the planet or we're doomed," "covid will kill us all - or if not, the next pandemic will," and endless variations on the theme of imminent apocalypse. In other words this generation has grown up contending with a sort of chronic unresolvable fear response - in reaction to things "they are powerless to control" - all because of endless bat-shit crazy government propaganda operations aimed at controlling the minds of we adults. Perhaps these kids mental health has ended up as another form of - "collateral damage" - as the psychopaths in charge like to refer to it. We are watching these same kids now retreat into the fantasy world of "gender- ideology," and 'trigger warnings," and "canceling speakers they disagree with," and claiming that - "words can be violence." Maybe there is more to be unpacked in understanding "why" they can interpret "language" to be "violence." Maybe telling kids for two straight decades that the planet's going to be uninhabitable next year - "IS IN FACT "WORDS" - AS VIOLENCE." Just a thought.
This.
The other form of fear is school shootings. My kids are growing up with active shooter response drills during school. I can’t imagine what that does to your psyche.
My son has now added solar flares to the list of things to fear everyday
@@anybodyoutthere3208CME is a legitimate threat to electronics and the power grid, especially since we’re approaching the solar maximum, and scientists expect it to last longer than usual
Hi Gary, I was trying to find my thoughts on why I disagreed with this speaker and I think you summed it up. I do agree with some things she said, like wallowing in our pains and that those tough emotions becoming a catalyst for something great. But sometimes I get upset because gen z is looked at as losers/kids who need to get their shit together but it does feel like we are just a product of our environment. Not to mention, we grew up in the boom of electronics and social media that greatly impacted us. I want others to realize that we are great kids, we are just lacking our sense of security and safety. Sincerely Lily (born ‘98)
Anxiety on Christmas morning, that’s nervousness! Anxiety shuts your brain down. I think we need to be clear with our language.
I would say it’s more like Excitement.
Love this video. Yeah my experience exactly. Once I stopped ruminating over my problems, and lived with more mindfulness, my anxiety went away
This summarizes the entire discussion. Take ownership, and life can improve (but it's never perfect).. Be mindful. Life is not fair, never was, never will be. People who squawk about this are trying to use (faux) victimhood to dodge that, and so remain unhappy.
The best two things my therapist would say to me:
1. "My job is to give you the tools so you don't need me. We're trying to work me out of a job."
2. At the end of a session where she felt I was fine, she'd say, "Let's not book anything until you think you really need me." Sometimes that was weeks or months or years.
Therapy is great when you need it. But you should be building a skillset with the therapist's support that eventually makes them irrelevant.
EXACTLY!!
I was managing a designer clothing department at Nordstrom two years ago which had a lot of Gen Z employees. This particular department was special because it was an invite only department because of the specialized knowledge you needed to sell the clothing, and the potential for way higher commission earnings. One day, my only employee scheduled for the day (23 year old gen z guy) said he didn’t wanna be there and he needed a mental health day. I asked him, “what would you do if you go home right now?” And he said he would lay down and watch a movie. I told him that there is NO difference in being at work vs watching a movie, so he might as well stay at work and get paid and also that he was my only employee that day and we needed him. He reluctantly stayed. By the end of the day he came up to me and said he had his best sales day of his career (he sold over $9k in clothes which is about a $900 commission for one day of work) and he was so happy. I looked at him and said, “yeah bro, imagine if I let you go home and waste your whole day feeling bad about nothing.” And he just laughed and said yeah. Anyways, the point of this story is stuff like this happened EVERY WEEK, and I managed almost 30 people!! Gen Z was super hard to deal with (and I’m technically a Zillenial, born late 1995 so not quite a millennial and not quite Gen Z).
You’re a millennial buddy 97 is the first year and even that’s iffy
Its well known that Gen Z is very soft and weak minded. Mental illness is sky high among Gen Z especially if they lean politically liberal according to polls that have been taken.
Gen Z kids have also been coddled too much. For example when Trump won the presidency in 2016 some universities were offering emotional support to students. WTF! I've heard of universities also doing this when certain speakers come on campus. Safe spaces. They treat these young adults like babies.
@@elg2702I’m also born in 95 where I find myself stuck in between two generations
@@elg270296*
We are a shake it off…rub dirt in it…problem solve it household. I also try to be aware and there for him when his anxiety is high. It’s really tough to find a balance sometimes. 😞
I saw Jimmy's concert Jax FL 1968. Awesome!!!
I am a Kindergarten teacher (26 years) and I can vouch for the extreme change in children over the last 10 years.
Joe’s guest is spot on in regards to all the “focusing on your emotions”… the programs focused on making sure children felt they were in a “safe space and to express feelings.” Feelings which my little friends did not even understand- horrible program.
“Safe space” insinuates there is danger around you - focusing on creating fake negative feelings caused massive issues which did not even exist, prior to this “program.”
Do you have a large portion of minority children in your classes? They do tend to have more trauma in their lives? And more pedophilia is being exposed as of late.
Same goes with inclusion programs. It presupposes that you aren't included.
Bingo 🎯 The safe spaces and talking about emotions is not a good thing. If you want to talk emotions why don't the parents try to get writing class to do a free journaling thing for like 10 minutes.
feminism has been an absolute disaster. people don't see the connection between letting women into power and the sudden thrust towards everything needing to be about safety and emotions. These are fine when they left to the private sphere of family where women ruled but now they have been promoted at a much larger level throughout society and our social institutions as more and more women enter into these spheres. Men need to assert some authority otherwise this will end badly for our society.
It's a big problem in the trades. We get these young kids and they are not following instructions properly, even after having them repeat what you want done. So later on when you ask them what happened and why didn't they follow the instructions they were given, they get offended and quiet. I have to stay on them in order to change them. They have to get used to being held responsible for their actions.
Gabor Mate mentioned in a video, that a study showed that during wartime depression goes away. There is a sense of purpose, helping others and survival that overtakes ruminating. This has stuck with me.
I can see how that would work. Strange how prosperity breeds its own set of problems.
Maybe before social media.
Love Gabor Mate, where did you see this?
Gabor Mate is phenomenal, his discussions about addiction, trauma, and child-rearing are life-changing.
I’ve heard that too, also when your mind is on higher “hierarchy of needs “ type situations when you have more stress and things to do your mind doesn’t have time to think exhaustively about your feelings, it’s too busy with survival and getting by
And I remember feeling good yesterday too! I moving out and throwing out garbage and cleaning and got so much done and feeling accomplished
I’m Gen Z. 24 now, it’s true. Started having severe panic attacks at 21. I still have them but I don’t allow myself to freak out / think im dying. It’s just something I gotta get through and I’ll be fine in 30-60 minutes
I am a millennial. I grew up poor, my parents had a horrible abusive marriage. My dad remarried a crackhead that mentally abused me. My mom struggled with alcohol. I struggled with alcohol & drugs my teenage years. I always felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I moved out of state and made some positive changes. Then, my mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 23. My grandparents who helped raise me died of broken hearts not long after that.
Life is hard. We rarely get through life without struggles and hardships. There have been some really dark moments in my life but I don’t let these moments define me. I don’t live my life looking through the lens of all the “trauma” I faced.
I am almost 33 years old, I am in a healthy happy marriage. I do not struggle with a single “mental health issue”. I feel grateful for my life everyday. I am happy
Good for you. You’ve been through a lot and survived.
God bless you
Life moves on, thanks for your post
That's how my life was. Traumatic childhood. Sexual abuse,foster homes, alcoholism. Went to college became a nurse. You can change your life. We all have choices.Im thankful everyday I'm alive.
You're a CHAMP and God bless you 🙏
Therapist here. Good therapists want clients to feel better, but they want them to utilize their own coping skills and support networks rather than build emotional dependence on a therapist. I regularly ask kids in my office questions like “how will we know when treatment is successful?” If the answer is “when my anxiety and depression goes down to zero” then we have a whole other topic to discuss on the wisdom of emotions- excitement and sadness included- and building resilience in the face of stressors.
Therapy is fake. They need Yahushua. Praise Yahweh.
Thank you for this your described it much better than I tried to do in this thread
How much do you charge? Lol
There are good therapists and approaches out there that focus on resilience. Unfortunately like many fields, we also have our fair share of malpractice and bad therapists working in the field. It’s so hard to find the good ones because people don’t want to be trying different therapists until one clicks for them. As a therapist, the first conversation with a client should touch the topic of “ok this is not a service for the rest of your life, what do we need to do to get you to graduate these services and no longer need me”
Then stop providing "therapy". If you're a social worker or masters level therapist, you do more harm than good while not keeping abreast of clinical literature. Social workers have the lowest iqs of any college major. Self serving justice warrior.
I’m 36. I worked hard and now I’m in management and oversee a team mixed with younger and older folks. I make decent money, I pay my taxes and I’m not struggling with housing or food. I live in one of Americas largest and most expensive cities. I have no college degree.
Sitting and complaining about not working hard is exactly the point. I believe you can have leverage if you’re smart enough to look around at the sea of people who are often too lazy to stand up and do the work otherwise. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can say that those who subconsciously and consistently find and hyper-focus on issues with the world aren’t motivated to be successful.
I’ll add that the world will never “get better” for you, or for anyone else, if you sit around moping about it.
I’m also someone who struggles with anxiety (pre-current job) and while it’s a struggle, it’s something I choose to handle because that’s just the cards I was given in life. Literally everyone has struggles and while empathy is great when rock bottom hits or a real problem emerges, you aren’t special in your stressors of day to day life.
Do the work, stay proud of the work, focus on growth and you’ll make something of it. Beats the hell out of sitting around and feeling miserable!
I’m sharing this video with my 22 year old daughter because she definitely needs to hear this 😊
It’s pretty amazing how many ppl in therapy feel the need to diagnose everyone around them.
You have anger issues bruh
And then 10 sessions in their conclusion is: “It is what it is” 😂
@@anjr6282 just observations! 😂
@@brophalope 😂😂
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I'm glad someone is speaking about this issue. Anxiety is a baseline emotion. The four base emotions are happy, sad, afraid, and angry. Anxiety is a nuanced version of afraid. Depression is a nuanced version of sad. An anxiety or depressive disorder is when it is pervasive without a logical trigger. Most of the time people are depressed and anxious for a reason. The over-use of these terms as disorders drives me wild. You're supposed to feel depressed after abandonment. You're supposed to feel anxious towards the unknown. Those aren't examples of disordered thinking.
1st world people so detached from nature and anything natural, to the point that human emotion is foreign to them, and hard to describe. Animals have anxiety because it keeps them alive, animals without anxiety get into situations that kill them, or when they are to afraid they miss out on situations that will develop them, like public speaking.
incredible insight, thank you!
I dated a woman with severe anxiety disorder and she hated how comfortable people bring up anxiety in small situations. Slight emotional distress isn’t anxiety. And we naturalize feeling any type of negative emotion is bad. It is part oh human nature to feel things; in both spectrums.
You know there are criteria for diagnosing depression and they are not just feeling sad right?? right??? Or you are just expressing an opinion on a very spesific matter that you have no idea about?
@@ffcrazy Yes, I do know that. A mood disorder is classified as persistent low or high mood that lasts for over two weeks without any known cause. Most people are depressed and anxious because they are under extreme stress and do not realize or address it. That is not disordered thinking. That is the body using it's natural stress response (fight, flight, or freeze). In most cases, extreme moods balance over time after making lifestyle changes. With disordered thinking, no amount of lifestyle change can help without medical intervention.
A common example is SSRI medication intervention with depressive disorders. A depressive brain makes serotonin, but does not hold onto it for very long. Someone with a true depressive disorder can exercise, eat a great diet, socialize, get sunlight, etc... but none of it will matter because all of the feel good chemicals get thrown out immediately. Taking an SSRI locks the escape door so that serotonin can linger long enough to have an effect. SSRIs do not create serotonin on their own and are only effective with a healthy lifestyle. That's a big reason why those medications do not work for many patients-- they are not making lifestyle adjustments to create enough serotonin in the first place.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and I’ve grown tremendously because of therapy. I have Bipolar II disorder and I will probably be therapy in most, if not all, of my life. I have a good job, eat SUPER healthy, go to the gym five days a week, and run errands. Guess what? I still struggle with depression from Bipolar disorder, current and past trauma, or debilitating anxiety. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. Our brains ruminate naturally. Exploring that in therapy and having them intervene helps stop rumination. They are actually trained to help with rumination. Therapy does the complete opposite of encouraging rumination. I kept ruminating on an event and even kept having nightmares. After two sessions, the rumination and nightmares came to a stop. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or won’t acknowledge they are repeating their childhood trauma because they are blind to it. I was, too, until therapy. Most people grow up in dysfunctional families and wouldn’t know a healthy relationship or healthy communication if it hit them in the face. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read.
There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense or something some people can push through, at least not healthily. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. Listen to Huberman, a neuroscientist who is educated on the subject. The people who don’t go are the ones who need it the most, I’ve noticed. The people in my life who won’t go to therapy have the most toxic behaviors, maladaptive coping skills, and don’t know what it takes to have a healthy relationship. This low-key set me off as it’s spewing nonsense and putting stigma back out there for therapy and is false information. She also acts like it’s the therapist's job to tell someone what to do, which is ethically wrong for therapists to practice for a good reason. No one can tell you what’s best for you. They ask you questions and guide you to come to your own conclusions and what’s best for you. If you want to read about resilience, read Supernormal. Yes, trauma is a part of life. It’s why therapists and the field of psychology exist to begin with, to help ease our suffering and cultivate better and healthier coping skills and relationships. Another good book, Body Keeps the Score, literally has brain scans that prove our brains can't just “get over” trauma to counteract that point made of just getting over it. When she gives that example of returning to school and calling it a bad memory, it isn’t that, it is a flashback look at an fMRI. The brain will show what it did as if the trauma were actively happening. We learn these things so we can better help ourselves and treat others. Just because we can say “get over it”, doesn’t mean we should. Just because we have our hands doesn’t mean we don’t use tools. Same goes for therapy, just because we have our brain doesn’t mean we can’t use tools to help ourselves make our lives better and easier. Just because we all have hands doesn’t mean some don’t get arthritis. Same with our brains. Just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t get mental illness as a result. The point is, just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t need treatment. It’s why we invent things like tools. As we keep learning about psychology and our brains the more we are learning the way we used to do things isn’t good and there are better ways to go about it instead of just ignoring our trauma and pushing things down. This whole conversation is essentially against using a tool that lessons our suffering, and progresses and educates us.
I stoped believing in therapists when one literally asked me what I wanted him to prescribe my child.
Therapists don’t prescribe medications.
I went to a therapist from late 2020 - late 2022.Probably round 20 sessions.I had become increasingly depressed and hopeless in life and was having constant suicidal thoughts.She really helped me as she gave me some strategies and plans for dealing with my depression and anxiety and helped my structure my life better.It's the best decision I ever made but most of what she told me was basic common sense and good old fashioned advice, not some wonder cure.I think that is generally what good therapy can be just helping the person help themselves to live a better life.
But why aren't family elders giving that good traditional, common sense advice? This is what we've lost and is being replaced by therapy.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijthere are a lot of reasons for this. We have more broken families that don’t talk anymore, often families members live far apart sometimes even on different continents, often older relatives also can’t understand the more „modern“ problems of younger people (talking about generational conflicts) and so on. I don’t think that a going back to what is was is going to be easy bc the world is just drastically different. And maybe „common sense therapists“ are the solution for that.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and because of it I have grown tremendously. I have Bipolar II disorder, high-functioning autism, and ADD, and I will probably be in it most, if not all, of my life. I’d have to disagree that it is common sense, not even disagree. It's more of a fact. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. If you look at our parent's generation (Gen X and above), you’ll see none of this is common sense. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or are blind to the fact that they are repeating their childhood trauma. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. People spend their lives studying this, and there is a reason they are called professionals.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijI don't go to therapy, but the obvious reason why family isn't good for this is because of conflict of interests. Normal people also haven't been trained like therapists. It's effectively a crap shoot for advice. Family members also have emotions and egos that can be hurt
First and last time I went to therapy, it was a group therapy for adults struggling with ADHD. I went in thinking it was going to be about learning and came out realizing it was for people to talk about themselves and the therapist to offer condolences, exactly as stated in this interview. And now I realize I wouldn't have overcome so many challenges if I was offered an excuse earlier in life to get out of hard work.
Yep, that’s how rehab was for me. Group therapy was often hijacked by narcissistic females. The quiet ones who were the vets never talked even though you could tell they’ve seen some shit.
I would give my two cents on things like Near Death Experience stories and float around ideas like taking ibogaine to quit drugs, but people would shut me up and give me the evil eye in favor of the girl that only wanted to talk about her friend group and how she was 30 and too old to have babies and how her daddy threatened to fly in on his helicopter to take her to a more expensive rehab facility that celebrities went to.
@@buttfaceloser "bro don't mention ibogaine, you're scaring the hoes away"
Group therapy is about interpersonal learning and attachment repair. If you find yourself hating it and being woefully independent, that’s likely your interpersonal strategy that both helps you and generates a lot of your problems
doesnt mean therapy in concept is bad, it means few people use it appropriately.....just like everything else humans do
Means the therapist sucks, need someone who tells the truth
Best motivation I got when I broke both femurs, both arm and pelvis, in a car accident and got depressed because I found out the metals in my femurs were permanent
“did you want them to chew a gum and stick your bones together? Don’t ever miss physical therapy again”
I’m 34 now but I’ve had issues like this since I was younger. I spent much of my 20s intoxicated, but I weaned myself off and have been doing so much better.
I was a severely depressed and anxious teenager due to a horribly toxic abusive home life. I went to talk therapy numerous times throughout these years and EACH TIME, with EACH NEW THERAPIST, I became more depressed and anxious because all we would talk about throughout the therapy session was my issues, my home life, the past, the pain, the depression, the anxiety, why why why, how I'm feeling, etc. So my PERSONAL experience is that talk therapy makes things worse. Its also why marriage counseling is known as the kiss of death for every relationship. Sucks the life out of everyone.
When a toddler falls down and no one sees they don’t have any reaction. When everyone is looking and starts comforting the toddler they immediately loose it.
Damn thats interesting
Because the toddler has no other choice but to self-sooth. You might say that's "toughening them up" but the truth is it leads to a self loathing adult that believe they're not worthy of love and comfort, making loving relationships very difficult, leading to a perveying feeling of loneliness and sadness.
@@jamesburke9865 Or the toddler looks for social cues on how to respond and if there is no knee jerk response by the parents or siblings, then they don't interpret it as a big deal and react accordingly. Like if a parent giggles and doesn't rush over to help vs smothering the child with concern causes the toddler to then be concerned. First 7 years of a child's life is mostly download mode (Theta brainwave dominant) to form the personal identity that becomes solidified as the ego.
Former teacher, I used to tell my students beware your parents love. They love you so much they will protect you from experience.
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child” is a quote I heard recently that has really got me thinking lately. So many parents do everything in their power to set their kids up for success that the kids don’t understand how to create that success for themselves.
@@HabitualJoker I studied Ancient Greek history and the society. This is what the issue of “good times make weak men” come in. Philosophy was originally designed to address this issue and how to catch conartists when you don’t know the subject area
@@Ol-T1864 yeah, I’m fully aware that I am half the man my father is and probably meant every person before him
that I am a descendant from.
@@HabitualJoker at least we know things are getting so bad we’ll either get tough or die. And we’ve always chosen get tough before this.
@@Ol-T1864 it usually takes a National tragedy or disaster to come together and get tougher. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that
Excellent conversation. I’m interested in reading her book.
I applaud her for saying this. I feel that modern clinicans are taught to diagnose instead of allowing the young person to discover themselves on their pwn with a little info, a chance to talk about it and give them the keys to solving it themselves. Most people have some trauma and some grief. That can't always be fit into the frameworks of the latest updates to the DSM or personality disorders. It's as if the mental health system wants to keep them dependent on that system.
She makes an excellent point- no one talks about the adaptive purpose of depression, everyone just wants to 'cure' it. Maybe you're supposed to be depressed for awhile, even a long while, to get you to transform into a different person.
Absolutely. Once you befriend your depression and anxiety you actually realize that it is pushing you to change for the better.
For the most part, BUT, it isn't always that simple. I believe depression for sure has a purpose but sometimes it can be so heavy, so overwhelming, that a person loses will. I definitely don't think every case of depression should be so heavily medicated. That shit is poison.
Remember, our adaptation isn’t necessarily for a “purpose” … it’s just a change an adaptation based on environment…
Absolutely. I went through a deep depressive period a few years ago. I mean, every morning as I woke I was upset I hadn't perished during the night. Absolute despair, no hope. But I got though it and am so much better today. This taught me that I CAN get through something like this. And now if I start to feel that downward spiral this knowledge that I can pull through actually helps me elevate my mood and get back on track. The experiential knowledge that there is hope saves me from descending into complete hopelessness.
I would say in a lot of cases yes but I’ve firsthand have watched my sibling go through crippling depression for over a year they’ve had no will to do anything and it hasn’t improved in even the slightest. I don’t know what answer there could be for them other than medication at this point
In the past year I lost one of my oldest and best friends to brain cancer at the age of 30. Two weeks after that my little brother died from a heart disorder and a month after that the new kitten my wife and I had that was 11 months old was diagnosed with FIP and died within a week, i also celebrated 3 years clean from heroin. This happened while I made the choice to go back to school at the age of 30 after dropping out when I was 16. All of this has made me feel more resilient and proud of myself than I ever have and I hope the younger generation learns the value of suffering and hardship and surviving it all. The quote that reminds me to push forward the most is by Marcus Aurelius who said " life puts no burden on a man that he is not fit by nature to bare."
I’m a therapist and i’ve been chastised by companies for releasing clients “early”
Which is absolutely absurd.
I am CONSISTENTLY frowned at from others in my field when I say “3-6 months my client should be discharged” if not, im collecting a check and I fully believe that.
I am leaving corporate Clinical Mental Health after I am licensed. And I am committed to combating this generations feeble mindstates, because many therapists refuse to do it because yes, it lines their pockets.
You will experience anxiety when a familiar situation arises. It IS a part of life, and it is ADAPTIVE and it’s so important to lean into simply understanding. Resiliency is what therapists don’t often build and that’s one of the biggest problems.
I understand. I like the phrase "moving forward with Dad". We talk about my kids' late father openly. Pictures around the house, his hat still on his hook in the hallway. His story lives on...
Therapy isn't always about reminiscing on negative thoughts and working through old trauma. Therapy for me has been a way to learn ways to break the cycle of those constant negative thoughts and emotions, and to have tools to navigate through life's challenges. I've had therapists tell me they weren't there just to be someone to vent to and those were the best therapists I have worked with.
The people in these comments tell on themselves right away. They’re anti therapy. One of the above comments said it best, “we didn’t have therapy, we had confession.” Most people still have the warped idea that religion is the only way to rid yourself of negative emotions, and that lack of religion is the cause of negative emotion. If you got Abigail Shrier to sit down with a few glasses of wine, she’d say the exact same junk.
I believe the topic is about the therapists that are prescription/ diagnosis happy.
This is important. Therapists should build relationships with their clients. Then they can break down walls and preconceptions. They can call folks on their shit and teach them new templates on how to approach life. They can grow the childish folks into healed adults.
Over a quarter of therapists aren’t good therapists.
I think the fact that you have had several therapists say it all
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ij a bit toxic on your part, don’t you think?
I’m 42 with a 22 yr old son and I finally have gotten him to realize that this terrible situation will be a distant memory in a short time. Every day is new and if you move forward every day you will learn to live with your issues.
Well, not dealing with situations, especially if they are traumatic is not healthy. You can bury it all you want, but it will follow you.
Time isn't the only consideration in the equation.
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 Okay then how would you recommend dealing with it?
My brother recently went behind my back and lied to others. Long story short, he has a history of racism. He became a democrat a couple years ago and became VERY anti racism, while still being a racist. His coping mechanism has been to accuse others of being racist. He and I had a bit of a falling out where I told him he needed to stop lying to other people saying that mutual friends had said things they never said; it doesn’t help him overcome the racist things he has said and done.
He then turned around and started telling our mutual friends I called someone the n word… which is absolutely not true. I talked to him about it, he denied it. Then I proved I knew and he had a panic attack and said he had to talk to his therapist about it. We tried talking again weeks later and he refused to acknowledge our previous conversations.
There’s only two options I have now. I can forgive him and move on, or I can cut him out of my life altogether.
Take a guess what a therapist told me I should do lol
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Take it with a grain of salt, but in my experience, the problem with this kind of advice is that it sounds too cliche and too far outside the experiential capacity of kids to register with them.
Kids don't live on the same timeline as adults, talking about how something won't affect them in the future is like telling them that they need to save for retirement, it doesn't matter to them because they don't live in the future yet. You have to speak to their current moment, because that's where they live, in the moment.
Kids have to be motivated to do something right now, often times even pressured beyond their comfort levels. You have to be real, speak to their current situation and not some generalized "We all go through this and come out better at some indeterminate point in the future" kind of reassurance. Again, just my experience.
It's like telling your son to live with a broken arm instead of getting it looked at by a professional. Animals do that, live with their injuries and suffer. Some don't heal very well and they die early. Humans live long because we have doctors. We have doctors for issues including trauma. Move with the times, dude.
My father passed away dramatically and unexpectedly when I was 16. My grandfather, a retired old school physician gave me the best advice: don't take any psychiatric meds to "cope" with it. I am so grateful I didn't pick up a habit of pill popping for life events virtually everyone goes through, no matter how horrible. You need to grieve, you need a community and you need to eventually move on.
I wish I had heard this from someone years ago when I needed to hear it the most. Though honestly I still need to hear it now.
I spent damn near 30 years bottling my emotions. not into drugs, but i would always find something to erase how i feel. tried therapy a couple times. they really just annoy me after a while bc they all never understood that i am always going to feel this way. that dark stain is always going to be there. No matter what. but yet here i am still making it happen. shouts to yall for not giving up. love yall.
Yup, you work through it physically and mentally
Do they have to understand you? My understanding of therapy is that they were supposed to help guide you out of that thing they diagnosed you for. Therapy is not a place for you to be understood or to seek inspirational wisdom
You can make it whatever you want
Dude I know exactly what you are talking about. The feeling that darkness is the fundamental core of your being. It would come up for me especially when high on marijuana or mushrooms. Not the feeling that I was filthy but that I WAS filth and darkness itself in my very being.
It was washed away in baptism. That feeling is gone. Life is still hard but I have found a peace I could not have believed.
@chadpilled7913 thank you for sharing. I smoked herb for ½ my life. I can relate to how you describe it. I also was raised to "be a man", "shake it off and keep going", all that bullshit. I have a 8yr old son now and I protect his light/innocence bc nobody protected mine. It's strange dealing with generational trauma. but look at us. we're still here. love you brother. be safe.
Social Worker here. Something that gets forgotten is that distress isn’t the only measurement upon which therapy/counseling should be decided. Diagnoses are determined not just by symptoms but the impact of those symptoms on a person’s functioning. Bad memories and bad feelings are just that. Anxiety when passing your old middle school is not fun, but so what?
Now if any of those bad memories or reactions significantly adversely affect your behavior or quality of life - for instance driving a mile out of your way on your daily commute to avoid passing your old school, or frequent nightmares, or panic attacks, or becoming physically violent with your spouse or child - then seeking professional help is something worth considering.
Exactly. ‘Anxiety helps your performance’ not if I don’t show up to the presentation
But what if the traumatic event isn't all that bad, and because people pushed the idea that it *is* when it wasn't, it created a horrifically false representation of a symptom that was no worse than breaking a toe? That's to say, what if someone was being convinced that their ant hill was indeed a mountain? THIS is the discussion being had. The latter seems to be on the rise.
@@AlexBizzar social media (as I assume you’re referring to by “people pushing the idea”) can’t just convince you into having a mental illness though. Now, life comparison as a result of social media can have an impact on your own perceived successes/failures which may yield a negative outcome. But I don’t think that the internet alone is gonna be the sole factor of someone experiencing severe, debilitating symptoms.
Also take into the fact that in cases that severe, symptoms had likely been occurring since childhood, but obviously diagnosis and mental health awareness was significantly different than what it is now.
Thank you.
I needed this. Thank you.
Dads are there to put kids in scenarios where they learn that life is hard and it sucks. More importantly dad is there to teach how to make through those scenarios.
High school teacher here. I've made a few observations.
1. The more internet/computer-centric a student's leisure time is, the more social problems they tend to have. (this could be a "chicken or the egg" type of scenario, but the fact remains...)
2. Students who engage in extracurricular clubs and sports tend to have less behavioral issues and tend to have better communication skills.
3. Those students with two parents who take active roles in their child's education tend to do better academically and socially.
Nice observations
What about students who sleep with the teachers?
You jealous because yours did not touch you?@@frankysalazar6857
@frankysalazar6857 They become lesbians.
I’m a older gen z. I believe that the biggest problem my generation has is not being able to do what you want. I think the most of us want a family but don’t have a good example of a close relationship. And feeling afraid of doing wrong or not feeling worthy.
Therapy doesn’t always have an effect. You can’t therapy away every stimulus. Life becomes easier if you learn to prioritise and move on.
PS I had a wonderful childhood and parent (happily married)am grateful for everything I have.
I do well economically and socially but an acknowledge that this is fairly rare nowadays.
I just wish that we could do better by the kids- the future of our world.
True but inflation doesn't help our generation 😂. Struggling to pay bills gen z is
@@luckybreak360 fr tho, we know what a good and bad relationship is we're not dumb. But we are walking into financial ruin head on hahah.
I don't think any generation has an example of a good relationship but they still had kids and a family. It's just a matter of passing the trauma down until one generation finally fixes it. Not saying that's what you should do btw, just that most generations didn't stop to think about those things. They just followed the animal instinct.
all you need to do as (gen z). Is ... study, study higher edu, work, get money, save money, use saved money for things you want.
Confidence needs to be taught it changed my life and confidence can get you further than literally anything in life outside of that being born into rich.
We do a bad job of teaching your generation confidence and giving you reassurance. I do my fair share and then some for sure. I work with your generation everyday and I watch these kids life change within moments of just being around my words. However I know for the average American this isn't a truth sadly. Just remember you can do anything and your generation is the one who's intelligent enough to change the world as we know it.
I tell my kids, "Sometimes what upsets you isn't worth being upset about. Sometimes you won't have time to be upset and you'll need to move on with life"
I really like how she talked about depression and reminiscing in negative thoughts..
Today, we have more names for negative feelings/situation.
We can call it out, but there is no end step, just the statement of the trauma, and it labels us.
But, we forget that humans have been going through (most) these things since the start of the social human timeline.
I think it’s the connection to knowledge and the lack of socialization that made humans emotionally weaker, we cannot be resilient when we are in our thoughts and our screens.
It doesn’t help that the self care industry isn’t here to help, but make money.
I tell my son to suck it up all the time. He used to hate me for it (in the moment), but now that he’s 13, and can see how he can handle so much more adversity than most of his peers, he is thankful for it - and he appreciates me for teaching him to be tough.
Keep going fr, I'm gen Z and you can see who was told 'buck up boy' and who wasn't, very easily.
I’d imagine those who have stand out like a sore thumb. Probably easy to get hired for work, but a pain to manage others who weren’t brought up that way.
Same with my father! I'm on the brink of suicide! :)
Do handle myself well tho...
Discipline is very needed
I’ve worked in law enforcement for years… seen some pretty wild stuff… and it blows my mind hearing kids talk about “PTSD” as if it’s the common cold…
Trauma for a child is different than trauma for an adult. Things affect children’s differently, they aren’t talking about blood and gore trauma they are talking about emotional trauma.
Bro, I have genuine ptsd from my childhood and the first time I saw a war vet 3xperience ptsd my response was,"how tf are we diagnosed with the same thing?!"
oink
Suck it up, James.
same thing with autism, adhd, depression, ptsd, etc. anyone can be anything and everything nowadays!
Throughout my life, I've seen about 4 therapists. I think it's important to understand that with therapy, the first therapist you come across might not be a good fit for you. A good indication for me was that everything they were telling me made me feel like I already knew, like I could guess where they were going to take things because the questions were extremely basic and almost "boring" in a sense. There was "no breakthrough". Usually by the second visit, I knew if it was gonna work or not.
One therapist wouldn't listen at all and just asked a bunch of text-book questions and would just write and write, but she was young and "new" to it I guess, idk.
Another therapist, tried hypnotizing me by the second visit, and I was like, "NOPE!".
It took me 4 therapists and at 28 years old, I found that a child therapist was the answer and gave me an enormous amount of help. I don't know if the fact that my trauma stemmed from childhood made the difference cause her approach was like nothing I ever experienced. We meditated, listened to music, drew maps and formulated timelines of events, journaling was also a thing and so on...and it was incredible. It saved my life. I went for 8 sessions and that was the last time I went to therapy.
Also, it's important to understand that even though therapy and psychiatry go hand in hand and they work together, you don't need a psychiatrist to get well.
One thing I realized is that therapy was one thing and psychiatry was another. I had to learn that on my own because that was never explained to me. It was always, you go to therapy, then you visit with the psychiatrist and then if therapy was "over" you'd then comtinue on with the psychiatrist. More than that, if you started on a certain dosage, they would start increasing it little by little because it's a chemical that your body gets "used" to, so they say and they have to continue raising the dosage. So I learned to understand that as well and because I saw what medication did to my mom, I vowed never to use it.
So I did my therapy with no medication and I always voiced that to my therapists. Some would say, "well, we'll try and see..." meaning they would try to convince me of it later again and so I wouldn't go back. And that child therapist I saw simply said to me, "okay, I respect that. And we can certaintly do that." I was suffering from conversion disorder and agorophobia at the time and I never needed medicine.
My conversion disorder ceased. I've never had another episode and I just turned 41. I sometimes still feel a little agorophobic in certain places, but very seldom. A low stress lifestyle, working remotely, good diet, positive social media (podcasts on spirituality like Buddhism, Ekart Tolle, BK Shivani, Affirmation Guided Meditations, how to financially stabilize myself, etc) have changed my life.
So I'm an advocate for therapy 100% but you gotta understand that you have the ability to say no to the things that are not serving you. And you most certaintly got to want to get better.
Of course, every situation is unique and the way I went about things is not a cure-all for everybody, some people do really need medication, but the point is that just because you go to therapy doesn't mean, they control all aspects.
You have to ask questions too, and voice your concerns about your health as well. You have to make it into a conversation, and formulate an understanding of what it is you're looking to accomplish and understand the process of what it'a going to take for you and your therapist to accomplish it together.
Thanks for sharing this. This is crucial that we continue to spread this out there.
I was depressed for years, convinced my anxiety was a feature of my character rather than a struggle I could overcome. I'm not completely free of it, but compared to how I was for the majority of my life it's like night and day. The key? Exposure, for one, I thought I had to limit my exposure to social situations because it caused me stress, but stress was what I needed, like a muscle that was weak from little use, it hurt to strengthen it, but if I avoided the pain it would last forever. I had to suffer greater pain now for less later. Lot of people just accept they're broken now and don't try to fix themselves. The only shame in weakness is the acquiescence to it.
Very valid point. Going to therapy is just a wealthy person construct. Rich people who don't have time to teach their kids how to grow up.
What they call "exposure therapy," is just exactly as you said... Exposing yourself to all those environments you fear, so that you adapt and overcome. That's neuroplasticity at work. The mind essentially has to be trained to handle more stress and responsibility.
Social media is probably the cause of most of these issues, because it allows you to ruminate and get feedback from like minded people about your emotions. It causes more indulgence in negative patterns and weak emotions that you'd normally have to disregard quickly.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Came to the exact same conclusion after dropping over 30 pounds in the last month & half through intense diet & exercise alone(im talking 8-9 hours of elevated heart rate & sweating from labor while wearing severel layers.drinking 3 liters of water a day & the exact amount of salty carbs. My motivating factor was to start skateboarding again & as soon as I set my goal & refused to make excuses against that goal shit changed my life seemingly overnight.
I've been to therapy twice. Weekly for a year at 27. Twice-a-month for 6 months at 44. Huge impact on my life. It gave me tools to talk to myself and to other people.
So 2=64
@@Mazda.Fit.he did 2 bouts of therapy. Screw your brain in
Yes for things like anxiety or self esteem it’s helpful but if your gonna go fir some heavy trauma issues? U better ask yourself is it worth going back on something that’s done with? And was it so traumatic that I actually need more than talk therapy in Fact I should go get Psychedelic Therapy?
Share the tools with us, don’t gate keep
Only girls need to "talk" about their problems to others. Men are physical creatures.
As a therapist (LPC), there’s a lot I disagree with in practice. It’s so hard to find a good therapist that’s also affordable. But there are some out there really trying to make changes. Like all systems, it’s multifaceted and terrible and so many people fall between the cracks and there’s also a lot of people getting help they need. I love Abigail and the light she is shedding on these extremely important topics on mental health 🙌🏼
Many therapists deal only with the 'worried well'; first world problems. And I am dating myself when I share that as a kid I frequently heard from my parents "I'll give you something to cry about!" It was good 'therapy'.
I’ve felt this way about mental health for a long time. Coming from a sister who has been in therapy for most her life, on countless meds, ruminates over hard times in her very privileged upper middle class life. I’m not saying she didn’t have hard times, but I do think that years of wallowing and therapists constantly validating her and not challenging her to be brave has really stunted her growth as a person. It’s heartbreaking
Same. I also have a younger sister who is exactly the same. It's truly heartbreaking
My older sister is the same way. She’s on her “live, laugh, love” journey, going on 15 years now. Arrested development.
Yeah it's called paralysis by analysis. Some people think if they can just look deeper and understand more that somehow their problem will be solved.
She could have a serious mental illness that kills people known as depression. It's not about "hard times", it's a disease of the mind.
Depending on what happened to her, I feel like telling her to just “move on” doesn’t help. Have you tried recommending CBT to her?
Millennial here…started trauma therapy last year & my life is greatly improving.
Two things can be true at once, perhaps multiple things can be true when a situation is multi faceted…parenting out of fear holds a child’s development back, neglecting children causes so much psychological trauma…doing the best you can to love & equip them as best possible for their lives is the goal.
The main point this video doesn't elaborate on is:
Yes, there are cases where depression/anxiety can be debilitating and require psychiatric care.
But that is like, 1/50 people nowadays. Literally everyone says they're depressed/anxious/on meds/clinically bi polar/whatever.
No, no, you're not. Not all of you. It's become trendy and quirky to be mentally unstable. With the advent of social media, the problem is magnified and blown way out of proportion.
This lady is very wise. My husband is being forced into another job or career by his current boss who is, understated, one of the worst people to have employees working under him.
Bad situations forces you to be strong, unfortunately sometimes they break people who are not strong or just doesn't have it in them to fight or overcome. I find that so sad because I've been there but I've been able to overcome abuse and survive and it makes me feel like I can climb mountains. Everyone should be able to do it and to feel this way! I was born in 1985 by the way, the sink or swim generation! We have loads of emotional baggage from our parents but we are mostly brave & strong (to generalize which I should not do but we were taught to get up and keep going).
I saw lots of gen z being told to suck it up. Working with kids in their homes gets you a different perspective, seeing real family dynamics. This woman is really smart and speaks a lot of truth though. Especially with regards to predatory therapists
"the incentive is for the therapist to treat the least sick, for the longest period of time" - SCARY
omg right.....and this explains why ive been refused help by so many i lost count
I’ve said this for years and it ticks a lot of people off, usually it’s whiny cry babies who say words like “trauma” “triggered” and claim they have PTSD even though they’ve never been to war
Scary and upsetting 😢
@@user-oj9ed2it9i schizoaffective?
Doesn't Joe advertise "BetterHelp" an online therapy? 😂
True! Ukrainian with a hard life here ;) When your life is a nightmare, you do something to stay strong, survive and be happy. People who have no real problems have a lot of free time and they spend it whining and feeling sad for themselves, and it only makes it worse. I tried talking to psychologists and even to a psychiatrist, and it was never more than one conversation by the end of which I would somehow end up being the one who listens to someone else's problems😅. I got over depression, trauma, PTSD (a real one that you get from listening to explosions), anxiety, and insomnia without meds. The secret is to stay busy, find someone whose life is even harder, and help them (so you're not focused on your problems too much), stay busy (work, study, sports, art, books... whatever you can do), express love and care (family, friends, random people, pets, plants... just give more love to the world), and pray to God (even if you don't believe when life's not easy, maybe it's time to try). Works for me every time🙏.
Oh you poor victim, So much for muh feminism for living a privileged life but when it comes to defending your country hearing explosions is suddenly traumatic LMAO, is that why they made it mandatory for men and young boys to die in battle fighting for "victims" fleeing their country?
Ps. Go fight for your country and earn your muh feminism instead of preaching victimhood and living comfy while young boys and men forcefully enlist and die for you just because they happen to be men.
I’m really glad to hear that you overcame your hardships and and found a way to deal with life where you feel ok and fulfilled.
However, the trauma you get from being emotionally abused by your family is just as “real” as the trauma you get from listening to explosions.
Lol alright bro. Happy it worked out for you but you are literally just not smart if you think this is what will work for the majority of people. Damn the Russian uses stoicism to deal with his pain instead of intellectually addressing his issues? Insane reality I could've never predicted. Go away.
@spaceowl5957 The only way to overcome family abuse is to understand that those who abused you, were abused themselves. Find out what happened to them, try to understand their pain, try to see why they are messed up, and forgive them. Keep a healthy distance to never let it happen again, and explain to them how to talk to you if needed. With older people, it can be hard to change anything, and it's not their fault, they might know nothing about psychology, they didn't know about their own traumas and about the consequences of their behavior. There's violence that is passed from generation to generation, and if you decide to be the last one to pass it, you can break the vicious circle. It can be helpful to remove yourself from family abuse geographically for a while. It can also be helpful to be financially independent, so nobody will tell you what to do with your life. Stay strong, and be wise. Remember that absolutely everyone is messed up one way or another, and if you can function in society, you're doing great🙃
What they don’t understand is people with anxiety like me who struggle every day to get up and actually wanna do something with our lives…. Every day, I fear that I won’t live up to expectations of people around me. I am a big people pleaser to my lack of an emotional relationship with my parents, and being told by them that I would never get into the college of my dreams. Which I didn’t and kept having to go to different colleges, and switching majors until I decided on what I’ve always wanted to do since I was little. But now because of my bad track record with school, and my GPAs, I’m not able to get into the program that I wanted to, even though I was doing so much better grade wise because I was finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do. But now married at 24, I feel like even if I do get my degree/license, I still won’t make enough money to support my husband and our future kids….While also trying to work to be able to pay some of our bills, and run a cat rescue on the side…
I had horrific postpartum depression (several factors were involved) and antidepressants were the first suggestion my obgyn went with. I didn’t take them because I wanted to actually work on the factors I knew were contributing to it. Things were awful and my relationship with my husband struggled a LOT. But it forced us to figure out what needed to change and how to make things work. I don’t regret not taking them (and our baby is healthy and happy)!