Something Nasty in the Vault Series 1 Episode 12

we present arthur now john lewis, [ Applause, ] episode, 12, something nasty in the vault featuring john larry and ian lavender with this week's guests bill pertwee john barron and frank thornton. Here is the news, and this is john snag.
Reading it. Britain continues to be enveloped in the misery of war and not a day passes Without the skies being filled with the drone and wine of enemy aircraft, as hetlas strives to bring this country to its knees. It is wednesday morning and at swallows bank at warmington on sea, the manager mr mannering, and his chief talk, mr wilson, have temporarily put aside their home guard duties at the start of another day of commerce by the way realize what date it is now, sir, it's May The 14th exactly a year since we first heard that stirring call from anthony eden for local defense volunteers.
Oh yes! So it is exactly wilson, since we stood in this very office ready to fight for the last man. Exactly since I was appointed leader of the. If I platoon writer, sir you appointed yourself leader, why do you always have to spoil Everything come in? Excuse me, sir.
Yes, what is it there's a mr west to see you we'll have to wait till. I see him in a minute right, sir good heavens, and i've been open, 10 minutes and people are queuing up to see the manager already well, you know what they say, sir. No peace for the wicked.
Thank you wilson. I said mr west, sir. Ah, yes, Come in miss west sorry to have kept you now.
What can I do for you want to open an account? No, thank you. I'm an inspector from head office. Oh, oh, really! Well, uh! Let me take your head and guest boss, sir.
I do sit down. Thank you good lord. What are all those army uniforms doing hanging on your coat stand? They belong to myself and to two other members of my staff, who are also In my home guard platoon, we're always at the radio.
You see, sir, fully armed and trained to kill really well i'll, get to the point. Mannering your monthly reports, the head office have been getting very irregular lately. Well, i'm sorry about that, sir, but i'm afraid I not only have the bank to look after, but also the security of this entire stretch of coast from stone's amusement arcade in the west, the novelty rocking for him in the East.
You know mannering a lot of you. Chaps are going to be heartbroken when this war is over, you love being in the home guard. It gives you all the opportunity you want to dress up and strut about in uniform, good heavens.
What's that huge gun thing on your windowsill, what's it doing there, that's her as a lewis machine gun mark 1. . We keep it there in the daytime covers the entire high street from stead and simpsons to timothy whites.
Do you mean to say that you would use it to shoot at germans if they came out of timothy white's? Yes, but they might shoot back quite probably, but the bank would get damaged really mannering. This is highly irregular. You realize i'll have to report this to head office.
Ah Excuse me, sir sir. Yes, sir sorry about this, mr west, but as the alert has gone, we must change into our uniform jackets. Uh listen.
This is mr west from head office, mr west, starting with my chief clock. How do you do this? This is private prank one of my for shares good morning, mr west right. Are we ready? Yes, sir, sir good, now what day is it today, pike thursday, sir, and what plan do we use on thursday Sergeant plan b, sir right put it into operation? Is that excuse me september? Can I put plan b into operation? Please see you promised me.
I could last week that's what I like to hear. Keenness you don't mind yours, the rest of the staff are awaiting your instructions off you go. Thank you, sir attention.
All staff attention all staff plan b will be put into operation at once. All non-government members of the staff will proceed at once to shelter a Captain mannering sergeant wilson, private pilot will proceed to shelter, sea well done pike. You know wilson, there's a good potential nco material here, yeah! Yes, it is awfully good.
You see, mr west, it all works just like a well oiled, smooth, precision, machine, no panic, no fuss, very good mannering, there's just one small thing: you've forgotten! Oh, what's that today happens to be Wednesday, stupid boy, [, Music, ], hello, janet, hey, you've got back a bit, sharpish haven't you all clear, hasn't finished sounding yet well my shelters narrow the banks than yours. Where are the others? Oh mr mannering sent me on in advance, I think, he's trying to impress the inspector from head office well from the temple that mr west was in. I should think our mannering will have his work cut out.

[@joedent3323]

This is great! Thanks for the upload.
It's really interesting, as a seasoned Dads Army viewer, to hear how they translated these things for radio.
I hate to even admit it - but some of these radio shows are actually superior to the TV series!
Merry Xmas 2022
...JoE...

[@stevejohnson9234]

Brilliant

[@sergeantyork1485]

British Comedy at its best 🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰💝💝💖💖💝💝🇵🇰🇵🇰💝💖💖💖