Everything Wrong With Paul Blart: Mall Cop In 18 Minutes Or Less
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- čas přidán 26. 01. 2022
- Paul Blart: Mall Cop sucks. It's not very funny and it's kind of lazy. Oh, and it has sins!
Next week: '90s comic book sins and fairly recent disaster sins.
Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie's sins should we count next?
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The one big sin is that after this movie ending with Blart getting everything he really needed in life, the sequel starts off with him losing it all again like just days later.
shit happens
@@tripleg2513 wait! Is this secretly a Forrest Gump sequel!?!
Wait what?!? There is a sequel?
The sin is the sequel itself.
@@onelongwordable I have no idea what you're on about
Got hypoglycemia as well. Had someone doubt me because I wasn’t as fat as Paul Blart. And can confirm, you flat out feel it for 10-15 minutes before passing out. The shakes, the tunnel vision, the cold sweat, the chest pain, and the loss of breath, before collapsing entirely. My arms feel like the muscles are bowing outward like those mutants from that old Area 51 video game. Its agonizing. Part of why I carry protein bars with me, try to keep it down to a schedule, and have balanced meals.
Hypo, meaning low. Glyc, referring to sugar. -emia, referring to presence in blood. Low sugar presence in the blood.
@@das-9962 wouldn't skittles have an increased risk of causing hyperglycemia though?
i'm not personally diabetic (although i was probably on my way with the way i used to eat), but i've looked into nutrition a lot to better understand what foods to eat. i've heard testimonies of other diabetics struggling to manage the consumption of things with high sugar content, so i'm curious how much this helps. (if you don't mind me asking)
I havent thought about that game in years. It was a lot of fun.
@@LucasTigy2 if your blood sugar is way low, you want a jolt of it. Not a huge one, but quick-absorbing. Protein bars are good to keep you from hunger and low sugar in general, sure, but for a sudden attack a hard candy or some juice is good stuff. Don't do the chocolate bar thing--- it absorbs very slowly due to the fat. It won't help in the short run and will make sugar swing upwards over the next hours.
Just my $0.02 as a diabetic finally in some remission.
Bohan Kamera no shiyo ( using security cameras)
I actually worked at the Lego store at this mall during the time they filmed this movie! They hold randomly closed off sections of the mall even when they weren’t filmed there for days. It was incredibly inconvenient. You should sin them for that.
Lol, interesting.
The movie exists ;p Thats a big enough sin honestly lol.
@@Starfals xD I suppose so.
Considering the fact that a thousand sins can get added out of thin air, adding one more seems completely pointless
@@user-tr2mb4xs7i I am still haunted by the tape they used to block the walkways. It floods my dreams. I want my point.
"... perhaps 'not being alone' isn't the greatest foundation for being in a relationship" may unintentionally be one of the most meaningful statements that I've ever heard Jeremy say.
And in a video for Pall Blart of all things.
It's something more people need to hear and understand, for sure.
As someone who went through the New Jersey State Police Academy, the reaction from the drill sergeant towards Paul Blart after he passed out is 100% authentic...
Let’s hope you get an actual reaction rather than porn spam.
Porn creators are all over you 🤣
Also: Southern football coaches.
@@SpectroSwag12 Yeah btw i can send you private videos as well if you want, im not making any money of it, im just f*cking around to show you how its done.
As someone formerly from new jersey, I have to say Yes, that probably happened.
Even as a small child, I never understood handkerchiefs, thank you from the bottom of my sinuses.
Same! Its a, as far as im concerned, maybe a 2 use tissue that you have to put in the laundry
Yeah I'm into zero waste but I would not use a hankie to blow my nose. Maybe for tears but never for the nose. 🤧
@@erainmartinez8175 what?
It's usually just a decorative thing and not actually a snotrag. Sometimes people would use them to cover their mouths while they were eating or affecting emotion or something.
The idea of a handkerchief in the curtain conceptualized tradition is based on the chivalric ideal that a gentleman should always carry an item to prevent women from getting dirty. This itself is a symbolic miniaturization of the common image in chivalric romances of a gentleman laying down his coat on a dirty piece of ground for a lady to walk over it.
In Victorian times there were also flirtatious uses of it.
So what Hollywood is doing is perpetuating the myth that handkerchiefs and snotrags are the same thing.
I always used them for wiping away sweat.
The only thing i remembered from seeing this in theaters was going into a laughing fit after the “Hey you, Scuba Dooby Doo” line cause of how fucking impossibly stupid that one liner is
I remember seeing the trailer and my mom and I laughed really hard at the sliding too short of the hiding spot joke. I asked her if she wanted to see it and she said, "That's probably the only funny joke in there." Thank God for moms!
Bro why are people hating on the movie I loved it
Really the only reason me and my Mom saw it was because Kevin James was in it. We love watching The King Of Queens.
@@Poop56566 I'm in both camps. The movie sucks terribly but I enjoyed it enough to watch it twice. Beer was involved both times, I will admit...
As Handsome Jack has told us, the trick to winning a headbutt is going for the nose.
YESSSS
Stop making me angry and tell me who Handsome Jack is.
@@heddalee there's a video game called borderlands, and he's the main villain in borderlands 2
@@edawg0 Okay. I'm still mad, but that's fair. Thank you.
I actually did that once. I didn't mean to actually hit the guy, it was supposed to be a joke headbutt, but I was drunk. Well, long story short, I broke his nose and I didn't hurt myself at all doing it.
So yeah, I concur.
As a diabetic, I have gotten to the point, just once, where I was pushing myself too hard while my blood sugar was getting too low and I just collapsed. Just saying.
The fact that you didn't sin this movie for Blart able to not only text, but operate the Segway at the same time is astounding to me, you never let things go.
I don't always like Angry Jeremy, but he kills it this time. It doesn't seem like an overreaction at all.
Does it not to you?
most of the sins were just him projecting cuz of the fat jokes
Totally seems like it to me tho
+1 sin for every time me, a mall security guard, has been called Paul Blart for the past 11 years.
+1 sin for every year I’ve been a mall security guard.
-1 sin for the only legitimately funny moment being when Paul is training the guy and they go into a corridor, Paul goes on ahead, and then shows up from behind the guy because that part is 100% true.
So how many sins was that altogether?
@@pinkatara6491 wtf
@@minottrivers5501 It's just a bot, they spam comments randomly.
Security officer*
(steps out of the shadows) The real hero of this movie... was the one who counted the Sins.
Literally the only thing I remember from this movie is the scene where he throws the hot sauce into the dude's face. And I only remember it against my will.
@Bersa Jihana Loser
Weirdly enough the only scene I remember that well was him playing Rock Band in an Arcade (I've yet to find an actual arcade that has Rock band in it, Guitar Hero yes, Rock Band, no)
I mainly remember this movie because it was filmed at the mall that I work at.
We don’t have a ball pit but we do have Shake Shack.
I remember thinking that the sauce had no right to be called Devil's Crotch if it took less than a minute for the guy who had it in his eye to get over it.
The twist villain in this actually made me laugh out loud when he was revealed it’s so bad
I couldn’t stop laughing bc it was Todd from Wedding Crashers 🤣. I was hoping in the outtakes he was going to dub the “I made you a painting” over the creepy scene with him and “discount” Anna Ferris he sinned earlier 😜
I’m pretty sure it’s made to be that way. This entire movie is just preposterous
For some reason, this film was hilarious to my 12 year old self. Maybe because I didn't watch many comedies at the time that weren't aimed at children, but I remember having a riot with Paul Blart.
Probably because 12 year olds don't research adult cellphone ownership statistics and hypoglycemia symptoms to nit pick at small details nobody cares about
@@user-tr2mb4xs7i Some of us care about those details! We're just usually assholes.....or have a harder time immersing ourselves in things because suspension of disbelief is harder when it seems like the thing trying to get you to suspend it isn't trying very hard.
yup same. i heaved and wheezed watching this at 13
Yeah 13 year old me loved it too. It was def a comedy fit more to children's tastes, hence all the stupidity, lame jokes, and nonsensicality lol
12:50 I think he was just saying what he was texting as he was typing it
Just so you know, hitting a security guard carries additional penalties than just assault. It’s legally classified as assaulting a peace officer and acts the same as attacking a police officer. Security guards are allowed to arrest you as well and most are required to if you attack them.
I don't know what state you're referring to, but I seriously have to contest that.
Security guards that are privately employed are not peace officers. Peace officers are publicly entrusted with arrest power by the state, require licensing, and are specifically employed by a P.O.S.T. recognized agency; this would be at the municipal, county, or state level.
Assaulting a mall security guard would carry the same criminal penalty as assaulting a McDonald's employee.
@@ggmanatee either way, that's a quick way to get arrested, or banned, no?
@@ggmanatee Illinois is the one I work at. And I highly doubt it’s that different in other states
In Ontario Canada (not sure about other provinces) security guards are still considered civilians but you still need a licence to be one
@@TheOneManWhoBeatYou I don’t know about Canada, I’m from the states
I'm a Paul blart and can confirm segways are really easy to fall off of. I hit a small ramp with one tire that was maybe 2 inches and the thing flew out from under me. I landed on my elbow on the concrete and now I have a permanent scar. But they are still cool
I’ve never rode one I’ve only rode a hover board and those things are real fun
I remember telling someone that this movie made me feel bad as a kid (I was overweight) and they just said "Why? He's the hero!"
And all I could say was "they made fun of his weight the ENTIRE movie!" I mean, seriously!
I liked it as a kid cuz I just found humor like this hilarious when I was younger, and I was fat AF. I get why you hated it though. Not really the kind of movie that helped with all the name calling in grade school, so I get it. Looking back at it though it was a pretty bad movie lol.
@@nicholas104 If I hadn't already been super conscious of that kinda stuff already when I watched the movie, I probably would have enjoyed it more. It was just... unfortunate timing, I suppose :P
Funny thing is, here nobody was making jokes about fat kids and stuff.
When the movie came out, people just found it boring and dull.
The fat jokes don't fly around easily here.
Hahah you were fat 😂😂
I mean it's just a joke but I guess I get it
Thanks for helping me realize how cringe the dinner scene with the mother was
I honestly feel the storyline of him and his daughter and how the mother left was pretty original. Surprised there was no sin removal for it.
Probably got drowned out in all the garbage of the rest of this movie.
Originality doesn't save a movie from being good
What was the story for that I forgot
@@franciscolaurean8550 he met his (I'm guessing) Mexican wife. They got married and had their daughter. After receiving her green card for I guess an authentic marriage and giving birth to an American citizen, she abandoned them. Daughter hates her, but paul says not to hate because she gave him his daughter. Then daughter smiles and says yeah I am pretty great. Which he repeats at the end when she tells him in the ambulance She's glad he's okay.
@@priscillajimenez27 I see thanks
I still remember this movie mainly because it was filmed at the mall I work at: Burlington Mall in Burlington, Massachusetts.
We’ve never had a ball pit or arcade but we do have a lot of restaurants now like Shake Shack.
the shake shack is fire, i miss the milkshakes at the Wayback burger tho
Best joke in the whole video was the bonus round waiting for him to finish his slide
I legit thought he was gonna say " it exists" and roll credits
It always bugged me that the only ones outside the store during the robbery where mall cops, the local PD, and then SWAT. No news reporters or onlookers! Seriously, hundreds of people were forced out at gun point of this mall and the news stations didn't get wind of this?
Also there's a part in the movie where blart's daughter is "late to her shift" at foot locker and walks right into veck the hostages...how the hell did she get in the mall with all the police outside?
I love so much that there is no explanation for the 20 sins on the fat and probably racist joke at 7:00
As a Mall Cop, the one thing that made me angry is when the guy made the announcement saying "Unfortunately, the mall is closing early." There was no radio communication, no double checking, then when they pulled out the guns, that immediately turns into an active shooter situation. 911 would have been called before Brooks got thrown out of the Security Office. Then when Paul ends his call and the mall is empty, wouldn't there be some sort of radio communication saying "All Officers, mall is locked up". Just a bit unrealistic... I would like a Segway though...
Driving a Segway that freely in the 2000s when malls were still in their prime would also be pretty unrealistic
When They made Paul Blart 2, I had a dream that they made Paul Blart 3 and the only reason that one was good was because the Game Grumps had a 10-minute cameo.
Then when they realized that, they made the Game Grumps main characters for Paul Blart 4. I have weird dreams.
I would watch Paul Blart 4 with Game Grumps as the main characters.
@@piperformerlycassette Oh, me too. Even if they had no creative control, it'd still be cool to see them in a movie.
This is unironically my favorite movie. Not because its good, but because its nostalgic and one of those "so bad its funny" movies
Actually, my dad and a couple of his friends carried handkerchiefs around and would use as a snot rag throughout the day. My dad had several hankies (as he called them) and would use a clean one everyday. He also called them snot rags.
Was gross, but it made me think all older men used hankies. He had white ones. One of his friends used bandannas, the red ones.
Yep. My dad has a white handkerchief too
My Grandma used to do that, too, and she would use actual rags ( cleaning rags) I've done that too, but only with cleaning rags.
I use the bandanas. Red, black, white, and blue. 1 clean one per day
"I suppose sometimes the mood just takes you" made me snort a booger onto my mustache. Thanks.
Drinking game: Take a shot every time someone falls
Cinemasins can sin a movie all they want it won’t change how we feel about them
it shouldn't. cinema sins exaggerates the negative aspects of movies
Cinemasins is a comedy channel about people who love movies and part of loving them is making fun of them. You'd know this if you took 10 seconds to figure this out. You should try that sometime.
Exactly. I hated Paul Blart before and after this video was uploaded.
@@crazyalarmstudios2012 I would rather get beaten up than have to watch this film again. It was a struggle just to watch the small bits that are in the sins video
@@crazyalarmstudios2012 if you like it then OK, I just can't stand this type of comedy.
It's why I can't watch a single Adam Sandlers film
The SWAT commander bullying Blart in high school is probably the most realistic part of this entire movie.
Best way to watch a movie that you don't really wanna watch. Thanks for satisfying the curiosity we all have about those heaps with loving commentary.
One sin I kept thinking of when I was watching this the other day is that those two women fighting over “the last bra in this size” absolutely do not wear the same size bra. So I feel like whoever wrote it has no idea how bra sizes work.
I really liked this movie, but am I the only one who was surprised that this video is only 19 minutes long?
2:45 Is it me or is the house the same as Toretto's one in Fast & Furious ? They clearly look the same from my memories.
I’m surprised they didn’t sin the part where that one woman says, “I need this now. I’ve got a date tonight!” And the other woman rudely replies, “Oh, really? Is he blind?”
That scene is amazing wym
Given how PC the folks at Cinemasins are, it is reasonable they would sin it
@@davisphillips993 why would Cinema Sins belong to Loblaw Companies Limited -owned Canadian store brand President's Choice® smh
?
@@davisphillips993 Well he didn't sin it...
Jayma Mays is the only celebrity to come of my county, my dad went to school with her. I think so much of her now and couldnt imagine we walked the same school halls. She may not be the biggest celebrity ever but it was nice to see someone who came from where I did make it
So we aren’t going to talk about how the minivan changes from grey to red???
Thats the red from the ribbons looks like they went from two danglies in one shot to four in the glass breaking shot
3:53 "Thusly" (ding!)
I really appreciate the time you guys put into describing the issues with the way they portray low blood sugars - a lot of Diabetes signs, symptoms and treatments are over-hyped in films and I'm sick of it, too!
Going to sin this video for using the phrase “reload clip” when “extra magazine” was clearly a better choice
“Kennedy, right?” is absolutely the funniest joke in this video. You’re a god
It's been a long time since a bonus round! I love it. And super glad I don't have to go to a separate video for the outtakes any more. Love you guys.
Just realized he wrote "You make me feel stuffed" on his daughters birthday card, it's not sentimental, just strange
I wouldn't say it sucks, I've always found Paul Blart: Mall Cop to be one of Kevin James's more underrated films, next to others like Zookeeper that's one of my favorite Kevin James films!
czcams.com/video/tvRRvxl0UZE/video.html
Fax yes.
I now pronounce you chuck and Larry
You're just a bad person for saying this. I'm not even trying to be funny.
@@chopchop1437 How does saying that make this guy a bad person? It's just an opinion what's wrong with that? or are you just one of those sh@theaded opinion nazis who think that just because they don't agree with someone's opinion they have to give them childish crap for it?
Well you see the thing is about movies, sometimes one person - we'll call them person A has one opinion about a movie, and another person, we'll call them person B has a different opinion. Person A and person B can both have these opinions about movies, regardless of what those opinions are. Because that's how opinions work.
For instance, I enjoyed this movie, but holy shit if it doesn't have its problems. Logic problems. Continuity problems. More logic problems. Fat shaming. More logic problems. And many more.
Everything Wrong With Paul Blart: Mall Cop
#1: It Existed
I'm not stuck in this mall with you. YOU'RE STUCK IN THIS MALL WITH ME!
“You’ll be as safe as the president” Kennedy right” lmao that got my like
5:48 This was actually hilarious, not gonna lie.
That JFK joke was hilarious! Great job and great episode!
I thought this video would be around 10 seconds, since it is the best movie ever made after Paul Blart: Mall Cop part 2
It feels so weird that I go to this mall at least once a month
Have you ever met Paul Blart (mall cop)
@@RubyBlueUwUsadly no, i wish
Observe and Report (also released in 2009) showed how to do this premise well.
Seriously! Observe and report was dark, cruel and gross. seth Rogan's charactor had no redeeming qualities and should have been locked up.
@@earlleeruhf3130 What's wrong with dark? It was pretty poignant satire imo. Ahead of its time too, pre Zimmerman and Rittenhouse.
YES!!!!!!!!! FINALLY! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS! THANK YOU!
I'm sad to say I couldn't even watch the sins for this movie, but THANK YOU Jeremy for holding strong and making the video.
This movie is so bad that it makes me try to skip forward through the *criticism* of the movie, that I would in turn skip forward through if (god forbid) I was ever forced to watch it. That's just goddamn impressive.
6:52 Believe it or not, that's the boy from The Nutty Professor. The one with Eddie Murphy.
Why did you give him 20 sins for nachos?🤣🤣
I went to see this in theaters, but passed out shortly into it. Thanks for showing me what I missed.
“Wha-wha-what’s up peanut blart and jelly!”
18:34 the timing on that edit is fucking genius
I can't believe you missed the antiquated screw-in style fuse in the security system box. Those things were obsolete in the 1970's
I've been trying to watch this for 4 months... Paul Blart is my guilty pleasure...
So glad the CinemaSins people added back the video end part where they put in audio from other movies. Didn't realize how much I loved that part of the video until they stopped doing it for a couple videos and I felt empty inside
Peanut Butter on a pie sounds fucking amazing.
Especially if it's apple
Brock Baker's going to have some serious thoughts on this....
Lmao I was thinking that too
You're damn RIGHT I AM!
@@brockbaker ayyy
Thank you sooooo much for bringing back the audio bits at the end
"Everything Wrong With Paul Blart"
It's blank.
Yay! I missed the bonus rounds!
Super Mario World always gets me going!
Handkerchiefs are actually really common, even in today's anti-covid scare. It's one of the few traits that I not only found slightly "gross" about my current spouse but it also attracted some of my friends to them (which I still don't understand). Something about "old-timey" and "classical" was an attractor. To me, "slimy" and "disgusting" (especially since I was doing the laundry) were words I used that differed from what my friends were saying. The invention of facial tissue should have ended the reign of the handkerchief last century when they became cheap enough for everyone to use but here they are, still holding on for dear life.
Lol "current spouse"
9:37. The answer my dear cinemasins is the same as today.
Because no one can actually PURCHASE a PlayStation 5 we still see ads and even games being produced for the PS4. Since humanity operates on cycles it is safe to assume this was also the case in 2009 especially since the console only came out 3 months prior to this.
Also have you been to a mall arcade recently? It can take YEARS for them to swap out advertisements.
How has there not been a "Everything Wrong with Grandmas Boy" one yet!?
I have an idea for your logo.
The M in Cinema sins should be an upside down pitchfork.
All I know is that this movie had me rolling when I was a kid 💀 I'm still laughing at it right now
OMG! You brought back the audio outtakes! THANK YOU!!!!
these are so great. never stop please!
Why does modern cinema sins try it's absolute hardest to play victim for any and all people of different race, culture, or with disorders?
It's crazy right? What happened? 1000 sins for being a SJW!
Their logic for unbreakable glass is to prevent people from stealing the Hallmark cards. This works 👍 😂. I haven’t seen this movie in years, so I can’t remember how Paul was able to get a card.
The Kennedy joke was gold, pure gold.
Thanks for the laughs during the quarantine man.
Glad I started paying for patreon lol
WAT HOW DID U GET HERE 23 HOURS AGO
@@mr.pancakes5198 😏😏
That’s sad tho
You thought the movie was bad, try watching a break down of this movie ... Oh wait
When Amy's phone went off and you made that comment about 'the mood' I felt like TFS's Goku. "I get it!!" lol
Lmfao the speed round was hilarious 😆 the one shot of him falling in the distance killed me 😂😂😂
peanut butter on pie is actually adding nutrition to it so it's already a flawed joke in the first place. the only reasoning is that it's one of those lower quality "corn syrup and seed oil-packed" peanut butters that is probably more sugar than peanuts.
the sad thing is, unless his hypoglycemia is genetic somehow (such as congenital hyperinsulinism), all that extra sugar is probably just making him more insulin resistant and causing the problem to get worse. if the human body is functioning normally, it can manage it's own blood sugar fine as long as you're not subjecting your metabolism to constant insulin spikes. if his condition is actually dietary, then it could be entirely reversible unless his organs have been too severely damaged
I'm going to be real but the first Paul Blart film is better than its sequel.
Yup
Which is ironic because the first one set an extremely low standard. Somehow the second one went even lower
Not only did the directors need to “holster their mind” but they also should have noted that we have skulls to do that
Love the vids🤣
I feel like basically all Kevin James movies are “look how fat and awkward he is!”
czcams.com/video/tvRRvxl0UZE/video.html
Fax yes..
Melissa McCarthy's comedy in a nutshell. Which is why I can't stand her fucking movies!
Lmao
@@jongon0848 Don't forget obnoxious
@@heintz256 VERY. Obnoxious.
Whoever wrote this movie with he one joke "haha cops are short and overweight" has never met a cop before
I've been waiting for you to sin this movie for so damn long!!!!! Ive never laughed so hard in my life 🤣🤣
I’ve been waiting for this for so long omg
Kevin James has devolved into the Chris Farley of this generation. Just screaming and rolling around in extremely unfunny ways 😵
Nah
All sins aside, this movie was pretty funny.
There was no sin here
My dad has hypoglycaemia due to type 1 diabetes. I've seen him go into hypoglycaemic shock before, and it's nothing like just randomly doing a faceplant lol it builds up over like an hour, and both times he was dumb enough to put it down to "just feeling a bit off", which slowly progresses into him walking around like a zombie completely unresponsive before collapsing into a generalized tonic-clonic seizure and needing immediate emergency care to stop the seizure and stabilize him. If Blart here were actually having hypoglycaemia severe enough to make him pass out, he wouldn't just hit the deck, he would be flopping like a fish, drooling, pissing himself, eyes rolled into the back of his head, the whole nine yards. Then again I suppose a serious medical emergency doesn't make for great comedy XD
4:42 *MatPat anger intensifies*