How to Process an Emotion
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- čas přidán 18. 02. 2020
- I'm going to teach you how to process an emotion so you can both build emotional intelligence and learn how to deal with your emotions better.
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What was your biggest takeaway from this talk?
If you're interested in the Shift Society, here's the link for easy access. We'd love for you to join us. It will change your life from the inside out. courses.juliakristina.com/the-shift-society
I would love to join btw my name is Kamhari
I can't join at the moment I don't have sufficient funds and don't get paid till the 1st but even then I still have a few major Bills like paying off for my moms cremations, gas-tabs for car/house, cell, license renewal, food etc, and I'm currently homeless in car. I'd love to take your course and have a better happier and more fulfilled life but I just can't at the moment
Such a helpful concise explanation of what a feeling is, thank you! Can you please do a video - even a short one - that helps to explain the difference between feelings and emotions? 🙏🏼
I noticed you were not talking about how to process an emotion right away so I started jumping around and only heard you talking about things people do that get in the way of processing an emotion. So, my take away is that you don't have anything useful to say or you just felt the need to add a ton of filler. You could always relable the video as "How to not process an emotion".
Your link doens't work!
To save you the time:
1) Feel feeling
2) look at feeling - why do you have it - don't judge yourself
3) what do you want to do? how do you want to deal with it?
Keep repeating for new feelings. Feelings will become less over time.
4) I’d personally caution from analytically thinking about it. Noticing emotions and processing them are not left brained activities to solve.
I am a huge 'overthinker' I am full of emotions, mostly negative about myself, this video really helped me process these feelings ❤️
I'm angry, hurt & rejected. I'm simple tired of being sad, depressed & having anxiety attacks. I just shut down, stay to myself & become numb.
@@neilkiots Jesus 🔥🔥....thank you!!
I do too!! I'm hoping to work on myself bc I'm tired too.
same. It’s horrible.
You will have to process false beliefs that block you from experiencing deeper emotions
I overspend on spas, shopping and right now - a room in a nice hotel that I thought would make me feel better or help me run away from the reality, but now I am worried about the money I spent. Such a circle. Thank you for this video!
Really hope your journey is improving. ⭐️
@@PersonalGrowthNow I feel a lot better. Thank you. Leaving a traumatizing relationship helped me heal a lot. I was in a bad place when I wrote this 6 months ago, and so glad I can look back and know I have overcome it.
Jovana Dubljevic Amen
Controlling emotions doesn't mean not feeling them - impossible
It means knowing what they are, intellectualising them and acting rationally.
Amen brother. We need a huge change in how we relate to our emotions instead of thinking we shouldn't have them.
You've been trained perfectly Mr Patriarchy.
Can’t intellectualizing too much be a bad thing?
I sent this to my daughter. I’ve started realizing all this over the past year or two after a bad period when I had to figure out why my parents helped form such an insecure and abused child who only continued to bump into more dysfunction chasing love. Now I’m trying to help my daughter. Your videos speak to a lot of our learned behavior. Thank you. I’m finally free mentally at 62
Whenever an emotion arises that I need to deal with, I busy myself with reading a book, writing in my journal, getting on Facebook, go for a drive or call a friend to distract me from dealing with my feelings (especially when they're painful). I grew up in a deeply critical and judgemental family of origin.
Hugs
This is something I have to be more intentional about. When negative emotions hit me I tend to get a shaky brain, hot around the ears and then irrational things fall out of my mouth.
Thank you Julia!
I keep myself so busy, so I can avoid my feelings and thoughts.
Do you know why you're avoiding them so much?
@@juliakristinamah I guess my feelings hurt a lot, and i'm affraid if I let myself feel I will break down. I see a Psycologist once a month.
Mermaid Do you really know what others are feeling? Sometimes I find it difficult to figure out what I'm feeling!
It's easy to compare ourselves to people around us and assume they're handling their feelings much better than we are. Humans are pretty good at pretending all is fine!
Also, we don't know how others are truly handling their feelings behind closed doors.
I imagine we're like swans - gliding around looking as though nothing's bothering us, yet under the surface we're paddling like mad!
I hope you find some resolution and strategies to help you handle the inevitable pain that comes with life. ❤️
You completely helped me not be so intimidated by my own feelings, thoughts, perspectives, and assumptions. I can breathe better through them.
Thank you ! Julia Kristina I’m 41 I understand now. I think you just save my life! I am forever in your debt:)
So damn simple, yet missed by the majority of people. It’s ok to feel your feelings. Do NOT judge any feeling that you’re feeling. It’s temporary and will move through if you give it the space and time.
I really hope that we heal and our kids will look at us funny when we tell them we struggled with this because we taught them well and they do not.
I've never thought of self-criticism as a form of emotional avoidance before, but that's so true! 🤯
I’ve been “doing the work” on my emotions the last couple of days. Basically I sit with my journal, set a timer for 25 minutes, and write and feel anything and everything I can. But it’s almost felt like a moot point because I keep thinking “I can’t just bring on these emotions whenever I want,” or when I do grasp onto a feeling that I need to process, it’s not all that strong and I end up thinking I’m “faking it” or something. But you said that the emotion, the feeling itself is *not that strong,* it’s the secondary and tertiary feelings that are destructive, I realized I am “doing the work” doing exactly what I’m doing. It’s no coincidence that everyday I do the work, I exercise too and generally feel better. I’m not stopping now! Thank you for this! ♥️ PS- I love the black & white, it makes you feel very accessible and there are no distractions from your knowledge.
Julia its called "vacating," when you escape from a feeling(s)....these feelings are like little street post or light ...that goes off to tell you, you are not inaligment with your soul.
( each time you get a feeling/ street post, light ITS LIKE A GIFT) welcome it and embrace it. :-)
Amen. Feelings are information that we're having thoughts to get curious about.
At some point I felt like I have started to hate myself just because I can't reach some "super" goals and I am wasting my life. But even if it is so - I am doing my best and not taking this crap seriously. Still I am 28 and I haven't have a girlfriend, expect very short painful experience. Ou, and I am living in area where war is a thing. Occupied part of Ukraine. I have felt that it would be better to get back here and actually I have healed my inner weakness, that was horrible (awful mood, bad immunity, alcohol addiction a bit). Now I am gratefully learning what such people shears with community and feeling myself actually better then ever. I see the progress ) I wish everyone enlightenment and inner power!
So powerful...this resonates with me so much. I have terrible coping techniques because I hate to feel. I was rejected back in Nov 2019 and it sent me down a dark hole and I'm not out yet. I overeat, excessive drinking and criticizing myself, sleepless night. It's been difficult dealing with my feelings
I definitely need to, if I want to heal.....Thank You xoxo
What do you need to hear from yourself right now Mickey?
Hi Julia! You are great. Thanks for all that you do.
Always my pleasure. Glad you're here.
Someone told me I need to get myself hooked up with a psychiatrist and I told them No I dont! I watch someone on CZcams that makes videos on mental health and it seems like every did is designed just for me and is exactly what I need to hear every time. And it's true every time you upload a video its EXACTLY what I need to hear at the moment.
ahhh, yes brother! I'm so grateful t hear that.
I’m especially looking forward to this video, I’ve been working on sharpening my emotional intelligence for quite some time and need all the advice I can get!! I hope you have an amazing rest of your week! 💝
Thanks brother. I hope it blew your mind ;-)
Julia Kristina Counselling You’re absolutely welcome! It did blow my mind for sure ;-), your videos always make contemplate life and see things in a better, healthier light!
When I’m feeling down, I do one of two things. I either don’t eat or I eat a lot of sweets. People don’t realize I do that because I feel down when I overindulge.
I have gotten better about it, and I know where that comes from. And at first , I felt bad about it when I would finish a pint of ice cream in less than a week. But now that I recognize it, I do remind myself “I promise myself that I am going to be kinder to myself, and my body. Overindulging on these snacks while tasty, does not benefit me. I am training my mind, and body to be the very best I can make them, and it starts with being kind to myself. I deserve that despite other people’s judgements, and insecurities.”
You will get better lovely! Keep on working on yourself.
I am a feeling person who basically goes through them on a daily basis. I want to learn how to process my feelings and not express wrong ones toward people when they don't deserve it.
I just wanted to thank you because you put into words what I've been experiencing without noticing exactly the process of going from the first primary feeling to this third heavy feeling. Thank you very much.
My feelings control me. I cant think straight and even my hearing goes out. All I have is the beating of my heart and my thoughts that paralyze me. I really want to learn to be in control of my feelings so I don't jump to conclusions and make bad choices.
Thank you!! A feeling is just a physical sensation in your body. That’s brilliant! If you will let it, the physical sensation will pass by. That is so liberating!!
My sister shared your CZcams site with me. What a gift! I have been listening on my way to work. I appreciate the insight and tools....it is helping survive public school! God bless.
Glad you are here, I am at this time attending post secondary and her content helps me to see things differently and to enable me to have a better learning experience in school
Appreciated. Watching your videos in Kikuyu, Kenya... for 6 months now. They are really helpful. Thanks a bunch!
Recently I understood this, (a couple of months ago, tops) almost all my life I learned to disconnect from my emotions at the point I perceived them as a concept, as the idea of being upset, as a general unrest, but not as the actual specific sensations in my body. It has been a whole new discovery for me, LOL
It's almost incredible to me how many people don't know how feel their feelings. Should be normal and intuitive, right? But, I guess many of us learned the opposite, how to numb them. 😕 Nice video!!!
Thank you Julia love your videos.
And I love having you here.
Coping mechanism is usually a roller coaster of trying to understand the other person and then justifying my own actions or thoughts. Mostly continuing an argument alone and trying to think myself to a positive viewpoint. It takes weeks sometimes.
I find that helping somebody else that needs help helps me feel better about myself . Also eating healthy , exercises and spirituality helps a lot
I eat and I distract myself... We never learned or we taught how to deal or even what our emotions really are... This is great information. That what feelings are information... It's telling you something is off... Or wrong... Letting you know what's up...
Thank you for all your videos
Always friend. Glad you're here.
great video, amazing energy, glad I found the channel
Stuck in my feelings. Thank you I needed to hear this
One of the reasons why I feel I have tried to escape or numb or repress is because of the constant gaslighting from narcissistic individuals so I would internalize and doing so "gain control/ find confirmation" meaning of I overtly exert myself excessively then I can comprehend and justify my actions vs being taken advantage of. I say what I eat when I want too, because drinking makes me an alcoholic, drugs makes me a criminal, and you not listening or hearing me makes me crazy so I need to validate myself because I know I am Not. 🚭 Working on cutting back for those who smoke is a good way to "counter" things out of your control, drinking less often and in amount but reducing it to a weekend/timed thing, you don't have to go from 0-60 in .34 second to make a difference in your life. Just take steps in a different direction. Start with giving up vices slowly, vices are habits set in a routine that one does to get by, then break the bad habits, bad habits keep you stuck or on a repetitive cycle, then form new habits ( which by this point if you have lessened your vices and broke your habits then you have already been forming new habits, so congratulate yourself at this point, the hard part is over), forming new habits means you start integrating things that bring you joy, totality, entirety, peace of mind (of you don't know what you like it's best to get away from what you don't like, find something that makes you feel strong and empowered and liberated) then repeat application of new habit, note: DO NOT do in rapid repetitive, instrumentally inconsistent.
I learnt how to deal with my emotions thanks to adhering to a healthy lifestyle and establishing boundaries in my social life…plant based diet, training regularly, no drinking and not over committing to events…. I changed my job to a less stressful one, and accepted the pay cut with it, I now read real books (hard copy)…. I went from being a storm of emotions to become a chill marshmallow 😂. I am not perfect in any way but feel inner peace most of the time 😊
Going for a nice walk or gentle exercise can really help thanks Julia 😍
Amazing!
Thank you so much for your videos! My work computer takes forever to work. I am so lucky! I watch your videos while I wait for it to work.
Thank You
Yes a feeling is just a sensation in the body. It helps immensely to realize that, then identify it!
I'm remember this topic from your recent live talks, but I don't think I answered correctly, but the thing I end up doing sleeping! That way, I can shut my brain down and not have any of those feelings or sensations. It's weird to know when you have these feelings that are just sensations. It's like knowing your enemies so you can defeat them...or in this case overcome them.
Yes brother. And also knowing they are not the enemy, they are information that we are thinking in ways that aren't serving us.
@@juliakristinamah Oh good point!
Me too
Wow you seem to deliver the messages that I desperately need to hear. Numbing feeling with destraction seems to be my life work. My take away that I will repeat to myself is feelings are just a temporary physical sensation.
I emotional eat and don’t feel good about my weight anymore. So you are absolutely right with creating bigger problems. Therapy hasn’t help me yet much
Great video on emotional intelligence! 💕
Thanks sister. Glad it connected.
This was a very helpful video for me. I find that I have a lot of different voices in my head From others and myself that tell me I am NOT allowed to feel this feeling because of X,Y, and Z.
I really hope that we heal and our kids will look at us funny when we tell them we struggled with this because we taught them well and they do not.
I like how you described about feelings. And for myself dealing with feelings. Especially when I'm going through some like factors. I like to use. Breathing exercise as equally biblical meditation I pursue. Wish I call. Holy emotions which is Joy safe goodness kindness gentleness These emotions are very powerful. It takes the course. Of my life in the censorship and the relationship with our heavenly father I appreciate you. Thank you so much. Is very helpful watch your videos.
Good morning Julia,
Last week a friend's behaviour was disrespectful to me. I felt a little hurt and angry especially when she made excuses rather than apologize. I chose to "man up" and pretend I was not bothered at all. A couple of days later, an opportunity came up where I teased her in a funny but cutting way, knocking her down a few times. It seemed more automatic rather than planned The good news though, we have talked and made amends. Using humour as a weapon in a passive aggressive way is a well entrenched behaviour of mine, today's video was very helpful.
Thank you.
I do overthink. Talk about whatever happened a million times. My adhd also makes me hyper focus on the situation. 😞
I believe that men and women feel feelings differently.
Julia, Christopher here I've been listing and watching you for a few months now off on here in the past week things are really coming to a head for me and let me just say WOW I WISB I COULD GIVE U A HUGE HUG BC I THEE MODEL PERSON HERE UGH FOR SO LONG... Im doing what I can today and now to fix and beat this.. I've turned to opioids for so long now and this video is yes me.. ughhh
THANK YOU for sharing your divine wisdom, I really needed to hear your words and I appreciate how you explain things so clearly. God Bless and Celestial Karma to you.
Sometimes when it really hurts, yes. The ‘escape’ is a relief. However I will say that I am very aware that that is what I am doing. I am starting to journal more now.....
I do all this and then some. Before it was mostly binge eating or watching Netflix but then turned into mindlessly watching random videos but not a really paying attention.
My issue with emotions is always practicing mindfulness. When I meditate regularly I will feel things but I can stop and think about it. When I stop for too long then my emotions get in the driver's seat and it takes some real effort to take control back again.
Usually beat myself up pretty good afterwards about how I allowed myself to feel that way so I turn to video games, TV and food to tune out.
Gotten better at not using those forms of escape because of how harmful it can be in the long run.
Plus it's just another form of avoidance of real life problems that can be really detrimental to your resilience and lead you to feel even more miserable and look for more harmful ways to cope.
Feel it, recognize it, accept it, process it and then let it go.
This so mind-blowing. Feel like i just get punch for the entire video. Thank you, Julia. This video slap me hard
Finally! Where have you been all my CZcams life?
Become aware of your thoughts and your self-talk. Your thoughts determine your emotions. If you are having sad thoughts, how do you think you are going to feel? It is your choice what you want to focus your attention on!! Have a positive self-talk, understand yourself :)
That is my problem. I rarely get physical sensations I attempt to interpret. To the contrary, I tell myself I am a loser then a frown and sluggishness follow.
Been working with the concept
emotions are the instant sensation
feelings are the long lasting sensations
which are being processed by
a thought train.
This is helpful
your vids are fantastic and very helpful, this was an excellent example. I do all of this even after many hours of therapy but a light came on after you pointed out "its just a feeling." Could you do a video on breaking through denationalization, derealization. Thanks for all you do.... Take care
Hey Julia, I am Miriam, first time coming across your video.
So, I am having an incredibly tough week emotionally, as I have recently lost my job, my mum attacked me verbally because of my sexuality and my faith, and how my life is not as good as it could be, then the person I was dating decided to put a brake on it, which is fair as we only started dating for 3 weeks, but things went too fast and we ended up crashing. In the midst of all this, I think I am guilty of the way things happened, or some of them anyway. And yesterday I had a full on breakdown and spent the whole afternoon crying, but funnily enough, still keeping myself as busy as possible. Going out for shopping, going for a walk, playing music, then turning to porn and food and watching things to distract myself temporarily from the real issues and emotions that need to be dealt with
I keep myself distracted whenever I overthink and whenever people say something bad about me. I don't know if I'm only escaping it but I believe it's the right thing to do. Though distraction is just temporary so I'd still want to deal with it normally. Like I can control my emotions that's about to burst especially when people insult me straight out.
I eat and keep myself very busy to “cope”. Between the stress from Covid-19 and health challenges in my family I need to learn to process my emotions instead of bottling them up and shoving it down with food and busy-ness.
I'm glad to finally found your channel.
-Fatima Choudhry
Wow when she said feeling your feelings.. if you want another way to do this, what I imagined as she said it was doing yoga, to be present with that feeling and process it. ~✨
Process, by just being with a feeling and whatever rises surface of your consciousness, listening. Processing
Feel all the feels
Hi Julia ...in case u see my comment ...then ..listen
I want to change myself completely ..my habits,my thoughts about myself ,my self esteem and everything ...I think I am awared what are my problems
1.procrastination
2.fear
3.i am sad always
I find myself trying to escspe, telling myself "oh no!!! You're such a loser!!! Why are you STILL doing, crying, getting angry, ect AGAIN!? IM SOOOOO STUPIDI!"
Never miss a video now...love your wisdom, insight and directiveness with compassion. You've helped me SOOOO much!! After 28 years marriage I AM FREE physically,, mentally, emotionally and now....able to DO ANYTHING I want and do it well!!! Never knowing my potential!!!! God is ssssooooooooooo good! Ty for ALL you do! Blessings and Merry Christmas! #nolongerstrugglinginoklahoma
Hello I'm a new subscriber and I LOVE your videos so far....... I am in school to get my GED and after I finish that. I plan on going to college for psychologist I want to eventually get my masters but how long does it take to get your bachelors degree and what online school if any do you prefer! Thanks
The feeling I don’t want to be having is a deep and wholehearted love for a dear, sweet friend who is working hard to survive and progress through ( successfully it is clear) , the intense pain and heartbreak upon her from untimely bereavement of her most beloved. Although on waving terms and saying a very brief and rare “hello”, and how are you, I am kept at a distance.
I think it's taking it bit by bit. Don't be hard on yourself when you watch your favourite show because you're sad and need some distraction, just set aside some time to journal and think through your feelings small bits at a time, so you're not overwhelmed with grief, or pain. I think it's fair to be gentle with yourself when you're going through something. As long as you along yourself to feel it a bit at a time until it's not so painful anymore.
Drug use and sex is something I have done to suppress feelings. I feel I almost OD from drug use or could have done. I had an awakening moment from last use. I had an awakening moment and so looking at feelings
Ok.. to be honest when I'm sad or I'm feeling down i eat a lot , doesn't matter what I'm eating , healthy or not, i eat as long as i can .. also sometime i give myself physical pain like extreme exercise until i feel pain or not eating all day long, also what i do a lot is listing to songs on full volume untill my head hurts ...
I can’t stop crying
Hi there, it is nice to meet you. My name is Leslie and I really like your CZcams clips!
Hey Leslie - great to have you here. Welcome!
When I get an uncomfortable feeling I tend to hyper focus on it and try even harder to do what needs to be done to overcome it but tends to lead to me becoming even more uncomfortable in the end
What will you try differently after watching this Axl?
I don't think the point is to have fewer emotions, it's being able to categorize them into areas that one can easily draw upon and process through. The physical sensations that arise are actually the aftermath of the emotion that has surfaced. As described in the wonderful and insightful video by the lovely Julia Kristina.
When uncomfortable feelings arise the most the common "reaction" is to run away and hide or find some way to "escape". Well honey bees, we can't runaway from ourselves. Besides l, we can be our best allies and our worst enemies. Choose.
When we want to escape it because that little kid wants to save and protect the good in them. When you have been abused by others, especially chronically, it has a negative affect. We escape to Finally have that moment to ourselves we been hoping for; but because we have been starved of this moment, we get desperate and panic(this is just behavioral repercussions from exhaustion). That why we do stupid thing in excess. We want to "take advantage of the time we have", the panic makes us think it's going to be the ONE AND ONLY time though, it doesn't tell us in that moment we are being presented an opportunity to learn patience and pacing ourselves, we just think Gotta Have IT! Well even if that is true, no one tells us that having it doesn't mean right away sometimes, sometimes we got to work for it, sometimes we got to wait for it, sometimes we gotta change to get it;
My biggest problem I suffer from regularly is NOT ASKING FOR HELP. I don't know how to face the fear of rejection and or being a burden again. I'd rather suffer in silence and "act" like nothing is wrong. I know better. I would delight in helping myself, but I still haven't been able to face the violating factors that play against myself from myself. So I run, move forward, press on, ignore me because no one is around to care enough to stop me from wasting away, everyone is ok with staying at a distance. So, I am
(Nutshell Complete)
Hi Julia, thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Just a quick question for my understanding, this set me off a little bit: Why do you open the registry section for the Shift Community just a few times per year? What is the benefit compared to letting the registry open continuously? Thanks so far.
Ah, many you mentioned. I don't think many people are taught how to feel the range of emotions in a healthy way. After weight loss surgery I found new ways to avoid feelings, but not how to process them!
I feel like I constantly think about my trauma because I’m trying to analyze and see the cause and effects of everything and ig that’s how I process my emotions
Someone that I still care about and I still love said that our year together was a waste of their time. I wasn’t perfect in our relationship/situation, far from it. But I’m hurting right now and I don’t know how to process the hurt. Out of habit I offered a half ass apology instead of processing my feelings.
Unhealthy coping mechanisms for me include having a drink, watching TV, sports... Feelings are sometimes so hard to decipher Adam can hurt if unresolved. But how much is too much drinking? And how much is too much TV?
That's a good question. Are you numbing and avoiding with them?
Eat to forget!
Some of the thoughts, feelings and emotions I have, are sometimes quite overwhelming!
Mary Rice I agree with your comment. This video did not teach how to process my emotions. I went back & listened twice thinking I somehow missed it. I learned how to identify, be with, & feel my feelings, but then what? I need a step by step process for how to get BEYOND feelings associated with Christmas so I can MOVE ON & enjoy it again. Disappointed in this one...
Overthinking apparently for me my ‘friends’ say, is one of my problems.
Hi Julia i am Moushumi and i live in Mumbai India. Currently studying counselling psychology masters degree.
Get very nervous and afraid.
Agitated...many etc
Cry...tears...fear...anixoty...
Feelings how to feel them/experience them and let them work through the body...
Or just relax and fine something to go to...🚶 or 🏃 or workout...
Music therapy...
Let yourself let yourself have the feeling...examine after then find a positive activity...for me something that resembles or opposite...
Treadmile- work out the struggle
Like that
Take good care
I believe one of my coping mechanism is drugs when I don't wanna be sad or feel the pain in my heart I run to drugs because I know drugs will make it so I don't have to go thru the emotion
after watching this video do you think it will fee less difficult to feel your feelings?
I feel like it may be easier because knowing it the first step
And learning what feelings really are how they're just a sensation within and I guess we just gotta let em pass and not dwell in em
I perseverate... over and over. My mind beats me up and tries to explain or understand it away...
I tell myself to suck it up and get busy fixing, cleaning, organizing to take my mind off what’s bothering me 😖
I Tried to join the shift society, however it wouldn’t take my information correctly. I responded with I’m in and then it kept slipping off that screen so I couldn’t put in my PayPal account or my credit card. I’d really like to join at your next available opportunity thank you, Denise
My unhealthy coping is shopping, I’ll shop alot to feel better.
I want to achieve tools to process my feelings and grow
I play a lot of video games, watch youtube videos and read books and sleep to avoid dealing with my emotions.
Hi
My names taro keens
I have been numb to a lot of feelings since my mother passed in 2009
And Iv learn to feel again but I do suppress my feelings in circles to not feel. Or feel to a certain level
I just learn a new word: feeling
Great!