Doug Stanhope - Be Careful What You Wish For - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
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- čas přidán 3. 10. 2016
- After a bad breakup, Doug Stanhope's rebound relationship with a beautiful woman runs into an unexpected obstacle.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
Follow Doug Stanhope on Twitter: / dougstanhope
Theme by Run The Jewels. Purchase the LP here: apple.co/1ARsXOf - Komedie
In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: czcams.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ.html
CCsucks. I'll stream Tosh for free.
All kidding a side this man is brutal and funny. And I love brutal!
Ya he has the same head shape that's about it
Doug was not nearly as drunk as he should have been, very unprofessional.
Hahhaha so true for Doug
He's drinkin coffee in his latest special. Dougie boy sold out. Still love him though.
Talal Ahmed Doug probably has liver damage severely by now and has to slow down to save his life. Doug out drank and partied me by 20 years and I have a failing liver now on a downward spiral. I guess all the drinking and rampant drug use for 20 years caught up to me. but i do have good stories. Live fast die young. Difference is hopefully for Doug he can afford a liver transplant lol i can't. So life cut me off didn't have to sell out.
Jonathan Wright stop whining
lol
The fact that hes Depp's closest friend is the coolest thing I know about Depp.
Bif Webster Johnny doesn’t own The Viper Room anymore
Actually.. Marilyn Manson is depps Best friend..
@Jack MeHoff
Are you trying to speak?
@Jack MeHoff let me guess, youre a "comedian" too? No wonder I never heard of you
@Jack MeHoff let me guess, youre a "comedian" too? No wonder I never heard of you
He looks like Michael Keaton's slightly drunk younger brother
Muffin Monster yes!!!!!!
slightly drunker lmao
Kane Garvey oh shut up
@@tylerkelly9801 ?
Kane Garvey I’m just playin!
I love that he's not afraid of silence and long pauses and everyone is still hanging on every word. KILLER TERMITES!!!
I kinda lost him the entire 2nd half of the show, the whole part about Lorka, it seemed like he just doesn’t know what to say anymore. I’m happy that at least Lorka got hit by a car in the end, it helped him somehow finish the story.
His audiobook for Digging up Mother is one of the most mind blowing things i have ever heard in my life!I listened to it over 2 days(its almost 13 hours long,well worth the money)at work..it had me laughing AND crying...its a strange light to see Doug in but also its the Doug you know and love.
His podcast is fucking great. It seems totally disjointed and confusing at first but once you get to know everyone and figure out wtf is going on. You get sucked in beyond belief.
@Josiah Alexander DeLeon : From the look of your list, it would seem you haven't really delved that far into the world of comedy...Its all mainstream ppl, who thru luck or talent, made it to movies...
@@Swindel67 he's razor sharp
audiobook? What are you Tom Segura?
I dig the silence... Especially for this story. It doesn't need to be funny or anything... This is a pretty good story.
He's strategically pausing for laughter.... That's not coming.
GamerGamer yeah I’m on Comedy Central because of a good story not because I wanna fucking laugh.
For this particular story I guess I'd agree. I suppose thats why he put it in a book. Did you happen to buy it? Or did anyone else for that matter?
@douchemanextreme That is literally why you pay to see a stand up comic.
Doug has said that he doesn’t try to tell jokes now, he just says what he thinks and makes it funny. I don’t think he really even considers himself a comedian, but he’s still my favorite
Few people can make a room go, "Oh, shit!" like Stanhope. You gotta strap in and absorb the whole thing or he sounds like a rambling drunk, which he is, but it's also genius comedy. Once Renee vanished from the story and it was just Lorka, I knew something was coming. Dougie never fails to make an impression.
12:40 "...and I don't know how to close the f*kking deal."
[Takes long drink to absolute silence]
Doug Stanhope is a master. An outright artist.
Sure.
I could sit and listen to Stanhope tell stories all damn day.
Prince of Monaco. He dated Khrystyne Haje.
@2manysecrets because cheating on someone is no different from getting raped/etc....
r u incel bro?
Silly that they bleep it out but you can just read his lips.
@@heli0s2003 Gotta cover their legal bases. How could they have known there'd be so many lip readers watching?
@@magisterrleth3129 -- Uh, they posted the video on youtube. That's how.
@@swiftslick Whoosh. I'm saying this from a legal perspective. Of course they want you to read his lips, then you get the full story. But legally, all they had to do was bleep it.
Doug Stanhope is the Tom Waits/Charles Bukowski of stand up comedy.
Started off slow but was killing by the end. Especially that ending. One of the best storytellers around
Leave it to Stanhope to tell story about a moment that lasted a fraction of a second and is terrifying and make it hilarious and meaningful.
There is nobody like Stanhope.
Bill Hicks was close.
STOP
PUTTING
SPOILERS, PUNCHLINES, TAG LINES, ETC
AT THE
FRONT
OF THE
VIDEOS
You're ruining the comedic bits!
Stop doing this....it isn't necessary.
Jont Noneya pleeeeease i agree
I beg everyone to listen to this person!!!!
Is it too hard to forward the video manually?
@@zombiemachinery4868 That's what I started doing, but they shouldn't be doing that to begin with...
The story loses none of its funny because of that in fact I want to hear it even more. Hearing the punchline first means I really want to hear what crazy stuff lead up to that. The story is the funny here not the punchline, that is the end.
When he said "All my friends," it reminded me of Bukowski in Barfly.
This. Is why people. Who like Doug. Are priceless.
Stanhope looks like a substitute teacher
Or a used car salesman.
Funny, because he's actually a Mayor.
Stanhope looks like my dad. True story.
Where did you go to school?
Having been a substitute, I'd wager the alcoholism is more in line with that job than the outfit.
I didn't expect the story to end like that either 😂😂😂
Doug is a living legend. I hope to see him live one day.
Still my favorite This is Not Happening.
It says "Uncensored" but Doug finds a way to get censored.
Fucking legend.
tag
the best
The fact he openly admits this was improvised shows why he is in the top 5 comedians of all time
Elliot Brown where does he say this??
On his podcast
It's a story, of course it's off the cuff. Not a part of his act.
How does that show he's in the top 5? Saying it's improvised is more impressive than saying it's not whether it's a good or bad set. That's like saying, "the fact that a battle rapper admitted his battle rap was improvised shows he's in the top 5"....it just doesn't make sense.
Umm, it actually happened.
One of the most honest and sincere comedy sets EVER! Doug leaves his fucking heart on the stage. Couragious. Love ur work, Doug.
thats the most romantic story from Doug I've ever heard
The man literally has it down to an art.
Saw him in chattanooga a few weeks ago, working on new material, as Doug does. He tore it up as usual, I had the table by the stage door. Got to shake his hand as he went off set. A very real cool guy. You guys are going to love the new material.
Scott Rackley Bro I was there too!
Maybe ill get to shake your hand some day as i got to make my way to Clarksville 😩
I met him a few years ago in Cardiff, he did a set and after me and a bunch of mates decided to go to a back alley bar only to see Doug sat at the table next to us, we spent the night getting shit faced with him and Bingo. Really cool dude
@@TheScottelias yeah, same here, after the set in chattanooga, he went to a bar he alluded to. Everyone who was savvy knew which bar it was. So here's Doug just being regular guy and never paid for a drink, think we pitched in for a limo and the bartender called it in to get him back to hotel. His driver had long called it quits, it was like 4am. Prolly why he likes chattown and keeps coming back, we take care of him.
Chatt town for life!!
Just the energy in the room tells me this man is a legend.
Great to see Stanhope still sharp. Excellent stand-up.
I’ve been a fan for decades. Gotta say I didn’t think he’d be sharper at 2020 than 2010. His last special is HILARIOUS.
This slowburn routine is well worth the superb payoff at the end.
Doug is the level of comic where his work just breaks your heart... breaks that heart into dust with the pain and the hurt.... but somehow makes you laugh. Laugh hard.
Story tellers for a thousand generations have been critical to human development. This man is a walking monument to that impossibly ancient tradition. Here is a human being who would be as important 200,000 years ago as he is today. Telling a tale, surrounded by people simply pleased to be in earshot. Sharing a mind. Excellent.
👍🏻👍🏻
Probably the best one ever. He is a legend for a reason.
he's a cool dude, he gave me a thirty buck tip just for a few pizzas and was really nice
In this uncensored video Doug shows he's really good at making a high pitch mechanical bleep noise twice.
Prince of Monaco
@Chooch Chipperson true facts. Also RIP Norm
Doug is a legend. Just look at how Ari introduced him. He was almost flustered.
Nobody, I mean nobody, tells a story like Doug. Love his existence in the world...
doug stanhope the underground legend
He’s like a comedy assassin. Favorite comic hands down.
...above ground
Nah. I couldn't sit through ten minutes. It sounds like your washed up uncle's stories of greater days. His older shit was so much tighter, aggressive and more condensed. He's meandering as shit on this.
Only the great Doug Stanhope can tell a story with such a big build and such a contrastingly abrupt ending, and have it be satisfying, entertaining, dark, AND funny!
14 minutes not one joke yet still Doug had me entertained every second of it shows his comedic intellect. The ones who hate dirty comedy yet know the structure of jokes or story telling formats they cant denney his abilities
"We have a repertoire, we're talking..."
Wow, Stanhope is a master of his craft. One of the most underrated comics, one of the best storytellers.
Oh man this was so good , I give it 11 beers out of a case and 6 puffs outta joint
How big are we going to roll it? I can make some killer joints putting together like 5 papers lol.
I can make Origami type joints like the "Dragon puff"
checkurbrainfly Lets kick it haha
kick "it" you mean like a midget to make a field goal?
checkurbrainfly Where are you from? I guess growing up in Southern Cali' kick it is a normal word for me for lets hang out and smoke. It's legal to just go buy it at the store. Im 31... been smoking herb since i was 13. But your probably just trolling the shit out of me cause of been bar hopping and a lil tipsy
"He's the prince of Monaco."
@@AKdaJuiceGuy but cannes is located in france not far away from monaco and monaco it's a principality
@@AKdaJuiceGuy Monaco
I thought he said Prince of Bel-Air...
7 years after first commenting on this video, and I'm still here.
Any long time fans of Stanhope may recall that he has a bit on one of his specials (I think it was a closing bit) where he describes how envious he is of the incident that happened at seaworld; where the trainer got dragged down into the tank by her hair and held there for 45 minutes, all whilst families with children looked on in shock. "It sounded like the perfect amount of horror meets irony" was, I think, the general gist of what he was getting at. I think he managed to encapsulate that vibe perfectly with this 15-minute story.
His Ralphie May impression is spot on!
he actually looks a lot healthier here compared to old videos. less bloated. I think he's cut down on the drinking
no lol this would be him promoting his book tour, he was so fucked up doing this. him and Chad Shank spent a podcast putting together 2 weeks after this. Classic.
Equal parts casual and absolutely surgical simultaneously, without any effort at all. Eternally one of the GOAT
Doug Stanhope is an underrated national treasure.
My public library doesn`t have this book.
did you request that they get it? If you ask, perhaps they will. Or just buy the damn thing at a used book store.
D.E.B. B I will buy the damn thing at a bookstore, otherwise the Liberians we never talk to me again.
Rum Ham Stop typing when you're drunk, or perhaps you're really going to Liberia.
D.E.B. B Early morning typing is to blame. I spelled librarians wrong so the spell check gave me the closest thing to what I spelled, which was Liberians. Liberians come from the country Liberia. I thought it was odd to leave that in the sentence, given the context, so I left it. Incongruity is a form of hummus.
It's new. But you can ask the library to get it.
Ill always love Doug Stanhope
Doug is a master at atory telling, and putting the heartache out there in a honest and heartful way
Doug is one of the greatest comediens of all time.
quality over quantity with Doug . That ending punchline was amazing.
completely unrelated note, does anyone like racing? i hear MONACO is great.
I have never heard it soooo quiet, for Doug! Damn, these people know what a treat this is.
My memory is so bad I’ve listened to this multiple times and it’s like hearing the first time every time
Doug Stanhope! The one and fucking only...
He's still wearing the thrift store price tag on his jacket.
Blingin
That's is homage to Minnie Pearl.
He said once that he spent a lot of time & energy into putting those suits together. Can't figure out why I'm srarting to find them sexy. My father never wore one.
The answer to that is obvious: Doug Stanhope. The guy's got swagger like a god if he puts it on you bet your ass its getting worn hard.
That's the original tags, manufacturer's label! So bling the thing goes 'ting'.
Doug stanhope + run the jewels .... damn my two favs
One of the all time greats imho...long live Stanhope!!!
Stanhope is a treasure
Stanhope hands down one of the best out there :D Love him!
Pure gold. And I’ve been missing it. Doug where have you been all my life.
That is just comedy gold.
He deliberately made it bleak until the end. And then knock punch while ur still in shock and processing. Fkn genius.
Doug rocks!
Some of the stupidest shit I've ever watched/listened to and we are all now dumber for listening to this dumb This Is Not Happening bullshit clip. Dudes never been funny.
One of the greatest story tellers of all time.
He kind of stutters a lot though? I like his unusual style but it's a bit too slow and repetitive.
Colonel, That's just because he's a raging alcoholic. This show is also different from the standard stand up comedy format. You can find a lot of his specials on youtube to get an impression.
he appeals to people with attention spans, that appreciate a slow build, and don't see a good call back as being repetitive.
Genius visionary revolutionary
He's not any more that's for sure. I couldn't make it 3 minutes.
He looks so much better.
The Coach & Horse on Sunset was one of the finest 'corner bars' on Earth. Always rock'n'roll. Always a rotating cast. Always cool barkeeps. Always reasonable patrons. When i return to L.A. that The Coach isn't still there is one of the biggest heartaches around.
long time fan of Stanhope...hadn't heard/looked for anything new in years...this is Exactly what I would hope to hear from him. So dark, so perfect, so you. thank you for a voice to which only you can speak.
None better! The master. i love Stanhope, genius!
STOP PUTTING THE JOKE IN THE PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ease up on the rules, pal
@Erasmus the blasphemous haha he meant in the preview clip before the episode starts, they always play the punchlines before it starts.
@@Chris-P It's CZcams, skip ahead.
@@6plus6bar oh I know, was just explaining what the poster meant.
@@6plus6bar Yeah, and CZcams is literally giving people the attention span of a toddler
Doug’s an absolute idol, in my opinion. If for nothing else, you have to respect his brutal candor. I’ve yet to see him live, but it’s on my list, especially since his liver is just a ticking time bomb.
Doug Stanhope is a bloody legend and I wish I didn't miss him because I went to Bali
FUUUUUUCK yes. FINALLY they have Stanhope on here who is 1 of the most perfect ideal comics for this show & Drunk History! Got me a blunt ready for this. Doug is so epic!
Something tells me you have blunts ready for almost anything
@@DSPHistoricalSociety very true, but mainly for the great stuff I look forward to.
The man is a national treasure.
Then god help you.
@@sunnyjim1355 he did, by giving us Stanhope.
@@sunnyjim1355 why do you have a downs patient sailboat captain for a pfp?
Doug is number one! Best comic standing. And we love a lot of comics!
He has progressed and gotten so damn good.. love that .. and yeah its three years old!!
i love dougs shit so much i was wondering where the story was going but once it wrapped up i realize it was told perfectly
i was about to give up but glad i didn't and you shouldn't either.
Second time I've watched this, and I still can't believe he just left us like that.. sometimes you let life shape art.
That was some dark and sad story. Doug is something else.
"I didn't expect this story to end that way either." Love it
This was the best 14 min Shit I ever took.
Ryan from Copenhagen?
I'm taking a shit right now and I totally agree with you
I totally (hhnngg) agree.
God-fucking-damnit......................... I love this man.
Doug Stanhope is my spirit animal
Lee Syatt laughing at 13:04
he's a master of comedians, or a comedian's comedian, that shit, hes a fantastic storyteller
Killer termites in the fuckin house
The story has such palpable atmosphere. Amazing work.
a most honest and heartfelt story from a master
his book is great btw.
Doyle Hodges really? I've asked my mum to get me it for Christmas
This is why Stanhope is one of the best ever. He has a million great stories and bits he could have murdered with but he just improvises a random story, keeps you hanging and hanging with story line not worrying about getting laughs through it, sounding like one of your friends telling you a common story, and then he fucking drills you at the end.
Probably watched this 5 times and still laugh. Doug is stupid talented
He's simply the very BEST around!
Heh sonnnovabitch
The look of horror on their faces at the end hahahaha
3min in, the best & relatable male oops heart story.
8min.... "AWE! NOOOOOOOOO!" sorry Doug
And that is how you tell a story
Without a doubt my favorite ending to any joke or story ever
Always look both ways when crossing sunset kiddos
Learn to swim.
I think besides how funny his storytelling is, his unabashed emotional frailty and vulnerability really connects him with with his audience...
YES. YOU NAILED IT.
absolute master of storytelling.
Came back to watch again its that good!!