Doug Smith - Stabbed in the Face - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

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  • čas přidán 22. 03. 2018
  • In the process of fending off a rapist in a subway station, Doug Smith gets knifed in the face.
    Watch more This Is Not Happening: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
    Follow Doug Smith on Twitter: / whodougsmith
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 3,5K

  • @standup
    @standup Před 4 lety +305

    Ready to rumble? Check out the craziest fight stories from This Is Not Happening here: czcams.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5oyyo90i2VkGb7ImrDKdYBg.html

    • @Joe.k.e
      @Joe.k.e Před 4 lety +4

      Let Ari have his show back!!

    • @Nolan-hy2gn
      @Nolan-hy2gn Před 4 lety +1

      chlamydia

    • @karigisla
      @karigisla Před 4 lety

      ur intros piss off everyone and the videos would be good without them

    • @rileykouf7453
      @rileykouf7453 Před 4 lety +1

      What happened to the crackhead host i liked him

    • @georgebabus2030
      @georgebabus2030 Před 2 lety

      This is like if that Stavros halkias bit was real

  • @EhurtAfy
    @EhurtAfy Před 4 lety +5059

    Good thing the knife was not laced with feathers.

  • @captaintexican5993
    @captaintexican5993 Před 5 lety +5872

    So BOTH of his fights were life-threatening.

    • @Phyoomz
      @Phyoomz Před 5 lety +187

      hospital both times. What are the odds.

    • @francisco.segura
      @francisco.segura Před 4 lety +13

      BADASS

    • @DasInf13
      @DasInf13 Před 4 lety +50

      I think he was in more danger with the pillow fight, allergies are no joke except in this case

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger Před 4 lety +7

      It's a good thing New York is so anti-gun. It's really helping with that crime.
      Oh, wait.

    • @jarchdm
      @jarchdm Před 4 lety +14

      @@manictigerI agree I think the results would have been slightly different if the homeless guy had a gun getting shot in the face not quite so survivable

  • @timothybrown2398
    @timothybrown2398 Před 4 lety +3654

    "Weird growing up with an indoor cat and an outdoor friend."
    Crazy solid joke.

    • @sonquatsch8585
      @sonquatsch8585 Před 4 lety +8

      i must be dumb cuz it was the only one i didn't get.

    • @laykantheealien5722
      @laykantheealien5722 Před 4 lety +2

      I know lololol

    • @Gibbypastrami
      @Gibbypastrami Před 3 lety +23

      @@sonquatsch8585 the friend couldn't come inside because his nose bleeds, so he had to play with him outside, outdoor friend, cat lives inside, indoor cat

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino Před 2 lety +6

      @@Gibbypastrami boom joke explained

    • @Gibbypastrami
      @Gibbypastrami Před 2 lety +1

      @@Kinobambino you're welcome for the knowledge friend

  • @thepowerwithin211
    @thepowerwithin211 Před 4 lety +8817

    Y’all probably pay a lot of money to make the intros I always skip

    • @3RABBITFOOT1
      @3RABBITFOOT1 Před 4 lety +287

      🤣 one of the greatest comments yet

    • @nandimoozle703
      @nandimoozle703 Před 4 lety +88

      They get told on every video but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • @majestic-lamp3657
      @majestic-lamp3657 Před 4 lety +69

      @@nandimoozle703 i like it, its only a Little bit and interesting to see some good vfx.

    • @DatMothBoi
      @DatMothBoi Před 4 lety +13

      Real shit 😂

    • @wahidhassani689
      @wahidhassani689 Před 4 lety +35

      That’s some cool ass intro tho

  • @IICubeII
    @IICubeII Před 5 lety +8684

    Got a cool scar, a great story, and saved a person. I’d say it was worth it.

    • @unhandme6913
      @unhandme6913 Před 5 lety +266

      You know, apart from the whole getting stabbed bit

    • @nickh3788
      @nickh3788 Před 5 lety +161

      @@unhandme6913 bet he gets mad puss tho

    • @williamdennis3158
      @williamdennis3158 Před 5 lety +78

      I thought the scar looked aight aswell😂😂

    • @RamiroBelmaresJr
      @RamiroBelmaresJr Před 4 lety +135

      Also he's one of the few men who can pull off having a Mustache, while being super confident and funny as hell. I'd move to New York to offer him all my joints, he seems like a genuine nice guy.

    • @DGarza2324
      @DGarza2324 Před 4 lety +12

      @@RamiroBelmaresJr datz gay cuh...

  • @TheSkulleh
    @TheSkulleh Před 4 lety +3708

    he can actually use "Wanna know how I got this scar?" as an opener.

    • @LoreCatan
      @LoreCatan Před 4 lety +25

      reminds me of that vine lol

    • @evanduncan2139
      @evanduncan2139 Před 4 lety +31

      Even better when he gets to follow it up by saying he stopped a hobo from raping someone

    • @BlahBlah-cm1os
      @BlahBlah-cm1os Před 4 lety +15

      BeCaUsE yOu DiDn'T uSe NeOsPoRiN

    • @blakeharris8986
      @blakeharris8986 Před 3 lety +1

      Like the guy but I don't know if I could afford that opener

    • @lifeofanoreo9864
      @lifeofanoreo9864 Před 3 lety

      The fact that he didn't tells me he isn't that funny.

  • @aidanmcavoy2930
    @aidanmcavoy2930 Před 4 lety +3098

    I couldn’t stop laughing when he said “ Hey Buddy Thats a lady” like honestly how did his brain say ok this works

    • @1SGCarter
      @1SGCarter Před 4 lety +149

      Aidan McAvoy With his mustache and that line... he reminds me of a badass gentleman from the 60‘s.

    • @erikjimenez5851
      @erikjimenez5851 Před 4 lety +66

      Honestly my mind did the same thing like what should I say in this situation "hey buddy!" then he continued with "that's a lady" and I was like... where the f*ck did that part come from

    • @tallerwarrior1256
      @tallerwarrior1256 Před 4 lety +46

      It’s like when you off handedly tell the ticket guy at the movies “yeah you too” after he says “enjoy the movie”

    • @Ghettojaku
      @Ghettojaku Před 4 lety +12

      @@tallerwarrior1256 IVE FUCKING DONE THAT. I wanted to die the whole minute walk to the chairs

    • @InshasChoice
      @InshasChoice Před 3 lety +1

      😂😂🤧

  • @Bs-cu3oo
    @Bs-cu3oo Před 4 lety +1807

    Damn it’s kinda scary how he did all that to that girl and no one did anything

    • @yaint77
      @yaint77 Před 4 lety +115

      _bs420 well he ended up with a cut to the face! Incredibly dangerous to intervene but you’re right, it’s a scary world. Someone should’ve at least told him they were calling the police.

    • @ketmakura
      @ketmakura Před 4 lety +190

      It's sadly real. People don't want to get involved.

    • @macaronicheese8721
      @macaronicheese8721 Před 4 lety +56

      Seriously.. I would at the least call the police. I also have a license to carry a gun so that could come in handy sometimes.

    • @akhil-sharma
      @akhil-sharma Před 4 lety +42

      @@macaronicheese8721 But it's New York...

    • @jdotx9843
      @jdotx9843 Před 4 lety +7

      @Lancer1131 that's what makes them criminals

  • @superpulaski9767
    @superpulaski9767 Před 4 lety +6322

    This guy pretends to be soft but he’s low key a badass got stabbed in the face and continued fighting

    • @isakferm7674
      @isakferm7674 Před 4 lety +250

      You can be both soft and a bad ass

    • @ADMUFKA
      @ADMUFKA Před 4 lety +204

      Adrenaline will make you do that

    • @justinbuergi9867
      @justinbuergi9867 Před 4 lety +27

      Adrian Delgado very true. Ive made it 20 minutes before realizing I was in incredible pain.

    • @moondoff
      @moondoff Před 4 lety +43

      Most people who realise that they are in a possible life or death moment won't get stabbed and just fall and beg, I'd assume most would continue fighting with everything they've got so they can make it out.

    • @alfredospautzgranemannjuni5864
      @alfredospautzgranemannjuni5864 Před 4 lety +14

      I got run over by a motorcycle when I was a kid and has a little flap of my scalp opened, didn’t fill a thing till I put my hands on my head

  • @marshallfox1786
    @marshallfox1786 Před 5 lety +6076

    Man, it’s great how this guy carefully crafted a joke from this incident but it must’ve been scary as shit during that moment.

    • @joycor1419
      @joycor1419 Před 4 lety +26

      Marshall Fox Exactly what I thought

    • @ThePyranthos
      @ThePyranthos Před 4 lety +111

      plot twist, the scar was actually from running with scissors, but this story sounded better, lol

    • @theredball
      @theredball Před 4 lety +3

      For sure!

    • @NeroVuk
      @NeroVuk Před 4 lety +42

      Yeah, it was pretty awesome, but I feel like he could have made fewer jokes that make him sound like a pussy. Especially since he's obviously not a pussy.

    • @jellyjolly777
      @jellyjolly777 Před 4 lety +110

      That poor woman, thank god he stepped in because that shit goes unhelped by so many people

  • @chazblank2717
    @chazblank2717 Před 4 lety +492

    “This might be a cause for concern in a small town, but in a city of 8 million people... some of them are gonna be screaming”

    • @drphot6050
      @drphot6050 Před 2 lety +10

      Definitely a NYC thing to realize lol

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino Před 2 lety

      @@drphot6050 NYC is like a jungle 😆

    • @frederalbacon
      @frederalbacon Před 2 lety +1

      His little jokes during this story are great. That being one of them. Just completely separate from the story, kinda providing a little backstory, but really funny.

    • @DannySullivanMusic
      @DannySullivanMusic Před 2 lety

      i know! utterly true

    • @alexia3552
      @alexia3552 Před rokem

      that had me cackling. I mean, the math works out, you can't argue with that

  • @ryntintin5211
    @ryntintin5211 Před 4 lety +1471

    I cannot thank you enough for saving that girl from a life of trauma & rehabilitation! You are a god amongst men, well done

    • @AD-eg9cw
      @AD-eg9cw Před 4 lety +55

      Yes!! Hero doesn't even begin to describe him!!

    • @TheJellybellymonster
      @TheJellybellymonster Před 3 lety +123

      great he was able to do that-she's still fucking traumatized tho!!!!!

    • @ShubhThakkar
      @ShubhThakkar Před 3 lety +20

      @@TheJellybellymonster And this man's got a scar on his face for the rest of his life - while saving a complete stranger who may or may not have been careless about her safety

    • @TheJellybellymonster
      @TheJellybellymonster Před 3 lety +78

      Shubh Thakkar victim blaming tho... 🤔 consider doing some research on the experience of those who are sexually assaulted. Trauma doesn’t occur only when the penis goes in... this guy saving her from that part does not diminish the fact that she got felt up and basically kidnapped for an amount of time unknown to us. And her trauma here also does not diminish that what Doug did was a brave act.

    • @ShubhThakkar
      @ShubhThakkar Před 3 lety +11

      @@TheJellybellymonster I am not victim blaming though, I'm just highlighting that this man did a lot already, what more could you freakin' expect him to do for a complete stranger.

  • @sorbas-irokanshi5256
    @sorbas-irokanshi5256 Před 6 lety +10282

    No wonder the bad guy ran off...imagine you stabbed someone in the face and he continues to fight you xD

    • @CarminaMoraTheArtist
      @CarminaMoraTheArtist Před 5 lety +451

      no kidding lmao

    • @tweker95
      @tweker95 Před 5 lety +231

      Happens a lot most people don't know they were stabbed

    • @jordanhicks5131
      @jordanhicks5131 Před 5 lety +66

      Thats why you dont stab them in the face. You stab em in the neck

    • @hannahsmith3807
      @hannahsmith3807 Před 5 lety +281

      jordan hicks or, and stick with me here, maybe you don’t stab anyone at all? Radical thought.

    • @jordanhicks5131
      @jordanhicks5131 Před 5 lety +65

      @@hannahsmith3807 if i'm in a physical altercation and i have something with me that can be used to stab with, i'm gonna use it. Thats how self defense works sweetie. You use whatever you have to in order to win.

  • @shamyiamcnair1943
    @shamyiamcnair1943 Před 5 lety +6838

    It’s as if nick offerman and zac effron had a drunken one night stand and he was the result

    • @derekortiz3663
      @derekortiz3663 Před 4 lety +177

      Damn that's perfect, I had the zac effron half and wouldve spent way too much time trying to figure out the other half. Thanks for saving me four hours.

    • @joebakboord6861
      @joebakboord6861 Před 4 lety +22

      Very accurate

    • @sophirofe2557
      @sophirofe2557 Před 4 lety +12

      Kinda looks like Penn badgley mixed with Zac Efron too

    • @oscarclarke2653
      @oscarclarke2653 Před 4 lety +13

      I'd say Jake Gyllenhaal and Nick Offerman.

    • @steadywatching7564
      @steadywatching7564 Před 4 lety +3

      Yasssss

  • @Drunkyboi
    @Drunkyboi Před 4 lety +771

    I got a little teary eyed when I heard the lady go "aww" when he said the bit about the cop calling him a hero...
    Thats like the ultimate compliment anyone could say about you

  • @Patrick.Weightman
    @Patrick.Weightman Před 4 lety +458

    "I know that's not how it works - you gotta share a cup of water"
    This dude is FUNNY

  • @robluxipiech4033
    @robluxipiech4033 Před 6 lety +5468

    What a guy. True badass. Being a hero doesn't mean you aren't afraid, being a hero means being afraid and jumping into the danger to help anyway.

    • @RustinChole
      @RustinChole Před 6 lety +63

      robluxi piech damn right.

    • @sixteennumberthree5544
      @sixteennumberthree5544 Před 5 lety +49

      Words of Wisdom

    • @robluxipiech4033
      @robluxipiech4033 Před 5 lety +14

      Thanks guys, I just realized my typo I didn't mean to say fraud but afraid but I think ya got it when I used it again =) thanks again this made my night

    • @careymxsmith-thomas8134
      @careymxsmith-thomas8134 Před 5 lety +8

      Well said!

    • @jpkjnn6733
      @jpkjnn6733 Před 5 lety +43

      Damn straight, brother. We need more courage like this in the world. If these types were just twice as common the world would be a much better place. Keep fighting the good fight.

  • @missnerdynurse5923
    @missnerdynurse5923 Před 5 lety +3256

    Fighting someone after you got stabbed in the face is the most badass fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve been an ER nurse for 7 years and have heard some badass stories. This is definitely top 5. Strong work sir. You’re the real MVP.

    • @jimgritty7064
      @jimgritty7064 Před 5 lety +46

      I like this guy. He should be famous and not people like Louis CK.

    • @malimusimu5641
      @malimusimu5641 Před 4 lety +27

      what are the other four?

    • @BothHands1
      @BothHands1 Před 4 lety +9

      I'd be interested in hearing too lol

    • @NeroVuk
      @NeroVuk Před 4 lety +17

      How do you not know how adrenaline works as a nurse? :D

    • @brettnelson7518
      @brettnelson7518 Před 4 lety +29

      I've talked to a guy that got stabbed with a steak knife and he said it felt like he got punched and didn't realize he got stabbed at first. Then i talked to another guy that said it was the worst pain he ever felt and pretty much wouldn't have been able to fight back when he was stabbed. I guess the pain depends on where ur stabbed

  • @musiclaboratory9694
    @musiclaboratory9694 Před 4 lety +581

    Now he sees the funny side. Now he is always smiling.

  • @Pyranice
    @Pyranice Před 4 lety +475

    um, he is a GENIUS?!?!?! every detail of his story served a purpose! amazing work

  • @g.s.651
    @g.s.651 Před 6 lety +1562

    That, sir, is a sexy scar.

    • @sunnyoverthemountain5029
      @sunnyoverthemountain5029 Před 5 lety +33

      G. S. Thought i was the only one that found it attractive

    • @VincentGonzalezVeg
      @VincentGonzalezVeg Před 5 lety +10

      hes the hero we've been wating for till the end of the night

    • @TheForsaken666
      @TheForsaken666 Před 4 lety +1

      its not sexy until you hear the story honestlyXD

    • @TheCarlosCobain
      @TheCarlosCobain Před 4 lety +10

      That together with his dope mustache makes him look hard as fuck, honestly.

    • @idunnowhatimdoin
      @idunnowhatimdoin Před 4 lety +7

      @@TheForsaken666 - as someone who clicked on the thumbnail because of the stud with the sexy scar, I have to disagree.

  • @JamesFerrerosa
    @JamesFerrerosa Před 6 lety +2279

    I guess you can literally call him "the Joker"

  • @landonbrown78
    @landonbrown78 Před rokem +22

    "Sentenced to 15 years of having a home" killer line

  • @AlexReynard
    @AlexReynard Před 4 lety +137

    "Had it all along" caught me so off guard I almost choked. Perfect swerve.

  • @EgbertWilliams
    @EgbertWilliams Před 5 lety +735

    This guy is actually a hero... no joke.

    • @larryrestelle1434
      @larryrestelle1434 Před 4 lety +2

      Hes not a hero hes a pussy he saw what was happening and had to convince himself to do something

    • @blankshaw3285
      @blankshaw3285 Před 4 lety +17

      Bass Addiction heeee still did it ?

    • @crashycymbals
      @crashycymbals Před 4 lety +27

      @@larryrestelle1434 yo, holy shit, it's almost like this is a comedy bit and he's exaggerating the story to be less depressing

    • @GlitzPixie
      @GlitzPixie Před 4 lety +10

      @@larryrestelle1434 wow I'm sure you're so brave Larry please do tell about the time you did anything important

    • @tomjordan6092
      @tomjordan6092 Před 4 lety +4

      @@larryrestelle1434 Just go fuck yourself. He got stabbed in the face trying and succeeding in protecting someone and still fought back and you call him a pussy. You're Dad is a pussy and so are you

  • @aliceaprilmay
    @aliceaprilmay Před 4 lety +970

    i love how he’s ties it back with the pillow joke at the end. genius

    • @williamb.j.blaskowicz.5664
      @williamb.j.blaskowicz.5664 Před 3 lety

      TRULY,TRULY ALL ABSOLUTELY BEYOND UNIMAGINABLY UNIMAGINABLE TRANSCENDENT TRANSCENDENTAL TRANSCENDING BOUNDLESSNESS LEVELS OF AMAZINGLY AMAZING AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      NICE, VERY NICE.

    • @williamb.j.blaskowicz.5664
      @williamb.j.blaskowicz.5664 Před 3 lety

      TRULY,TRULY ALL ABSOLUTELY BEYOND UNIMAGINABLY UNIMAGINABLE TRANSCENDENT TRANSCENDENTAL TRANSCENDING BOUNDLESSNESS LEVELS OF AMAZINGLY AMAZING AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      NICE, VERY NICE.

    • @kickmoji8243
      @kickmoji8243 Před 3 lety +2

      This guy pretends to be soft but he’s low key a badass got stabbed in the face and continued fighting

    • @machoman2929
      @machoman2929 Před rokem

      It's a called a "call back" joke

  • @jobivuvuvfvi605
    @jobivuvuvfvi605 Před 3 lety +55

    Major respect for this man for actually helping that woman. So many people would not have done anything!

  • @nolannalon1527
    @nolannalon1527 Před 4 lety +199

    guy is down to earth person. very few people on planet earth can talk about this kinda heroism/ tragedy in funny modest way

  • @ShyShy2551
    @ShyShy2551 Před 4 lety +1319

    He's handsome & the scar is not just a bonus of making him more attractive but makes him stand out instead of like going unnoticeable good looking.

    • @yaint77
      @yaint77 Před 4 lety +60

      Chey R. And the story of it couldn’t be any more attractive! Very badass. He’s a great guy.

    • @MonkesReturn42069
      @MonkesReturn42069 Před 4 lety +55

      The scar genuinely isn't that bad, good on him for doing the right thing. Plus, now he look like a total badass with the scar and mustache combo!

    • @arthurhe5398
      @arthurhe5398 Před 4 lety +10

      He's Zac Efron regardless

    • @molassio1989
      @molassio1989 Před 3 lety +20

      A friend of a friend got shot in the face in Iraq and it didn't do a lot of damage, but gave him a very Jokeresque scar on one side, and apparently he was a handsome fellow. So girls would ask about the scar and he would say "I'm a Marine and got shot in the face."

    • @BluntStuff
      @BluntStuff Před 2 lety +14

      @@molassio1989 So presumably he has about 30 children, right?

  • @Azzataky
    @Azzataky Před 6 lety +952

    Lol this story has everything. A hero, a bad guy, suspense, comedy and a happy ending.

    • @conservat1vepatr1ot
      @conservat1vepatr1ot Před 5 lety +23

      Don't forget the damsel in distress lol

    • @yzertqhbog6597
      @yzertqhbog6597 Před 5 lety +6

      @@conservat1vepatr1ot dammit I was gonna say that

    • @DingDongDaddyFromDumas
      @DingDongDaddyFromDumas Před 5 lety +1

      The rapist/slasher got away lmao how's that a happy ending

    • @bblcommisions
      @bblcommisions Před 5 lety +15

      @@DingDongDaddyFromDumas Did you watch till the end? The guy got caught and got 15 years.

  • @jonathaneagle3554
    @jonathaneagle3554 Před 2 lety +44

    Dude's a freakin hero.., how he manages to construct comedy around his pain and suffering is remarkable

  • @hipfirehippie3474
    @hipfirehippie3474 Před 4 lety +349

    He may have gotten his face slashed, but he won the best pick up line ever.

    • @alikaandrade3435
      @alikaandrade3435 Před 4 lety +9

      Hipfire Hippie “Do you wanna know how I got this scarrrrrrrr?”

    • @pippincovington1348
      @pippincovington1348 Před 2 lety +2

      Dude the scar is the best part, it makes him so hot 🥵

  • @abremnath
    @abremnath Před 5 lety +1262

    i got slashed in the face, it's true you dont realize until it all calms down and someone points it out. Adrenaline is a crazy thing.

    • @butthugz
      @butthugz Před 5 lety +14

      this makes me feel better honestly

    • @dovehq1031
      @dovehq1031 Před 5 lety +54

      I got a tooth knocked out with a frisbee. Same thing, but wayyyy less badass.

    • @hanzflackshnack1158
      @hanzflackshnack1158 Před 4 lety +67

      I got hit by a truck and unfortunately I was wearing shorts and sandals. Fractured knee cap that got skinned to the bone literally, palms were hamburger meat, road rash all over my body, toenails on my right foot completely ground off... I have to say, I didn't even know I was injured until I got up and started looking at myself. Adrenaline is a crazy thing indeed

    • @quixoticvalkyrie
      @quixoticvalkyrie Před 4 lety +13

      I got hit by a car when I was 4. That hurt like hell so I'm quite envious of all of your "this didn't hurt at all" experiences.

    • @avalosavalos795
      @avalosavalos795 Před 4 lety +7

      Kinda true. I got cut in the face too. Missed my eye by an inch. Didn't really hurt till i saw myself in a mirror then it started to sting lol

  • @masster87production
    @masster87production Před 4 lety +410

    Damn, I just realized I was the nose bleed kid

  • @nadirimyers6643
    @nadirimyers6643 Před 4 lety +235

    Even I forgot about the weed in his backpack 😂

  • @gotskinn
    @gotskinn Před 6 lety +482

    Sentenced to 15yrs of HAVING A HOME! Brilliant!
    I like this guy.

  • @poot111111
    @poot111111 Před 6 lety +2284

    Bad things happen to good people, even ones with a good sense of humor

    • @Sigmundfraud
      @Sigmundfraud Před 6 lety +1

      Thats right, there is no karma!!

    • @richardwhite8905
      @richardwhite8905 Před 6 lety +14

      Well if he hadn't done what he did, he would be a bad guy. So, doing what was right was inseparable from the risk involved. Karma didn't have anything to do with him getting stabbed.

    • @TheKaneECO
      @TheKaneECO Před 6 lety +2

      Not in this day and age. The woman will just sue you and say you were just fighting over her

    • @kiernan415
      @kiernan415 Před 5 lety +18

      @TheKaneECO That woman was viciously attacked and almost raped. Somehow you interpret this story of a vicious a@@hole who attempted to rape a women, who also stabbed Doug Smith in the face as a victim and paint the woman who was assaulted (and only a mere mention in the story) as the problem. WTF???? All you INCELS need psychiatric help.

    • @TheKaneECO
      @TheKaneECO Před 5 lety +1

      kieran you must be new to this thread, some comments were removed. Have you not seen the woman who sued a man for saving her from drowning? Why? Because he touched her body without concent making him a rapist. Events like this happen all the time. Soon you'll be sued for just agreeing with a woman let alone trying to save/help her.

  • @kairussell7372
    @kairussell7372 Před 4 lety +117

    Thanks brother. I wish everyone would do the same as you but that's realistically not the world we live in. And especially in NYC where you're programmed to turn the other cheek or to " not get involved " . From the bottom of my heart, i thank you for acting.
    Adrenaline is crazy! Notice how he had to be told his face had an extra mouth on it? My friend got his face slashed at a concert we were at in 2007. He didn't even know it happened for the first 3 minutes. Someone bumped into him and started a fight. He gets hit, gets a couple hits in and its broken up, and the guy storms off. We all thought that was that. Like 2 hours later when we were all nice and drunk this kid walks by my friend and punches him in the face. That's what my friend thought. The kid actually stuck a karambit ( those hooked knives ) into his face and drug it all the way behind his ear and into his hair line. It was 64 or 74 stitches for him. The kid did end up being charged about a year later. There was this was this whole investigation. He was from Pennsylvania and was bragging to people that he cuts some kids face at this concert, and the detectives put the pieces together. We were from NJ, so without the detectives the kid never would have been caught. He got 10 years in prison, I think.

    • @alexia3552
      @alexia3552 Před rokem +1

      That's horrifying. I hope he recovered okay.

  • @jimbrown2701
    @jimbrown2701 Před 4 lety +91

    A ‘buck fifty’ actually refers to the cost of a slice of pizza at the time. So the term ‘ buck fifty’ means a ‘slice’. Slice of pizza...slice on the face. Buck fifty

    • @leocriss6354
      @leocriss6354 Před 3 lety +13

      Wrong it’s a prison term for how long you would be in the hole if you stabbed someone. “Such and such got buck fiftied”

    • @cam1834
      @cam1834 Před 3 lety +6

      Thank you for being the greatest running back of all time

    • @quill1260
      @quill1260 Před 2 lety +1

      @@cam1834 Right? The Browns have never been the same without you Jim Brown.

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino Před 2 lety +6

      There's 48 different versions in this comment chain. What is it

    • @dbongoloid9541
      @dbongoloid9541 Před 2 lety +1

      Wrong. Its how many stitches it takes to close up a slash from the ear to the corner of your mouth.

  • @7r3v0r
    @7r3v0r Před 4 lety +731

    he deffo got that scar in a pillow fight and his dad made this story up for him

  • @honeyrayen3549
    @honeyrayen3549 Před 4 lety +500

    That was some of the best story telling I’ve ever seen, no lie

  • @metitfour131
    @metitfour131 Před 4 lety +40

    I like how his scar brings more attention to his moustache. I look at the scar for just a second before I end up back at his perfect stache. Amazing.

  • @koosh138
    @koosh138 Před 4 lety +85

    I've usually heard that scar referred to as the Glasgow Smile.

    • @thejohn6614
      @thejohn6614 Před 4 lety +2

      That's different. A gang is glacow used to take razor blades and put them in your cheeks while they beat you. The more you scream the more it cuts.

    • @thejohn6614
      @thejohn6614 Před 4 lety +4

      @@koosh138 Google says:
      A Glasgow smile is a wound caused by making a cut from the corners of a victim's mouth up to the ears, leaving a scar in the shape of a smile. The act is usually performed with a utility knife or a piece of broken glass, leaving a scar which causes the victim to appear to be smiling broadly.
      I'm sure there's lots of ways to do it. I wouldn't call myself an expert on it. I'm from the states. That's how i understood it though.

    • @MsEssTee
      @MsEssTee Před 3 lety +2

      Glasgow smile or Chelsea grin is when the scar is from BOTH corners of the mouth extending upwards to the ears. It's caused by literally cutting the face, not razor blades in the mouth.

    • @alundavies8402
      @alundavies8402 Před 3 lety +1

      Ms. Ess it is not an everyday wound it is a punishment for grassing or something else like as an excuse for something else like getting someone to get into debt so that is the pretext for the terrible snitch mark it is saying that you are no good I am glad that although I am scarred nobody gave me one of those

  • @error404blah
    @error404blah Před 6 lety +3086

    Great story, excellent delivery, awesome crowd. One of the best TINH in a long time.

    • @zackarysimon8396
      @zackarysimon8396 Před 6 lety +35

      agreed. Never seen this guy before but he killed it.

    • @MKaponeProductions
      @MKaponeProductions Před 6 lety +11

      cant agree more i nearly didnt watch it

    • @Depuratumba
      @Depuratumba Před 6 lety +8

      +1! best of the season so far, hands down

    • @InteractiveIdea
      @InteractiveIdea Před 6 lety +2

      And they did it without ari... Somehow

    • @pts5217
      @pts5217 Před 6 lety +4

      sucksqueezebangblow Absolutely! I find that so many of these are not good. This one was perfect. And the show should be full of interesting stories that are told in a funny way. This dude got it. So many of them are pointless non-stories fluffed up with bad predictable jokes and sarcasm...Like how Joe Rogan literally told a story about somebody setting off the fire alarm in a hotel. That was the whole story. WTF?

  • @IBeSyd84
    @IBeSyd84 Před 6 lety +781

    Does he look a little bit like zac efron with a mustache to anyone else? lmaoo

  • @4WingedAngels
    @4WingedAngels Před 3 lety +17

    “Every woman over thirty has a surplus of purse napkins.” True!😂

  • @ericko5232
    @ericko5232 Před rokem +3

    His body and his speech say: "I'm a goofy thirtysomething"
    But his face says: "As a half sheriff half firefighter, let me give you some advice, son."

  • @remindmewhy
    @remindmewhy Před 6 lety +2010

    Don't be a bystander- be a badass like THIS guy! Sexiest scar in the history of scars. An actual, real-life hero. Put yourself in the perspective of that woman... WOW... Must have been absolutely TERRIFYING. Paralyzing fear... Such violence and violation... I hope wherever she is now, she is doing ok. That is a lot to go through... And to think what would have happened if this dude, Doug Smith, didn't step in... Put HIMSELF in harm's way... I don't believe in angels. But people like this guy, rare as they may be, are why the rumors of them on earth exist.
    Rooting for you now, Doug. To make THIS funny, you've got skillzzzz. Hope to see more from ya.

    • @vinny5638
      @vinny5638 Před 6 lety +39

      lol that was from the heart respect, this was my first time hearing Doug as well to make this kinda thing as funny as he did is pretty hilarious to think about

    • @k9dogtraining
      @k9dogtraining Před 6 lety +80

      Kudos to the lady who tried to stop his bleeding with paper towels. In a big city, its easy to just avoid.

    • @Maniceureka
      @Maniceureka Před 6 lety +26

      It's definately admirable to intervene like he did. But would you do the same? Because frankly, a punch on the nose or in the throat can kill you.
      So stopping a violent rape incident could easily mean risking your own life. And that's a lot to expect from a complete stranger.

    • @CBMMmercinary
      @CBMMmercinary Před 6 lety +25

      You're right. He is a hero for electing himself to get involved in a clearly life or death situation. Now imagine if he wasn't barred from owning a firearm to offset the obvious disadvantages he had in that fight with the knife wielding rapist.

    • @cheriann6461
      @cheriann6461 Před 6 lety +16

      @Carter S. : What makes you think that he is somehow prohibited from owning a gun? Even the strictest gun laws don't outright 'bar' the average person from owning a gun.

  • @Silmarieni1
    @Silmarieni1 Před 6 lety +189

    A hero, so modest he transforms his brutal ordeal into 15 minutes of delightful funny storytelling.

  • @noesunyoutuber7680
    @noesunyoutuber7680 Před 2 lety +7

    "I did not win a fight - I just got stabbed in the face" like those two points are mutually exclusive. He definitely also won that fight.

  • @dw9864
    @dw9864 Před 4 lety +47

    For some reason when i see knife wounds on white dudes face i automatically think that dudes got a scottish accent

    • @ayebing
      @ayebing Před 3 lety +2

      Why just bc his best friend is William Wallace ?

    • @johanneskeidel6515
      @johanneskeidel6515 Před 2 lety +1

      Seen a lot of "sons of anarchy" or "Gladiator" lately?

  • @tomasotreasaigh111
    @tomasotreasaigh111 Před 5 lety +700

    LMFAO! At about 12:45 this happened, he actually says "..I could push on the gland and shoot it across the room!!.."
    Lady in the audience half yells and half squeals "AWWW YEAHHHHH".

    • @Estebanmdp100
      @Estebanmdp100 Před 4 lety +73

      I hated that lady, she kept on being overly loud and annoying

    • @tropicarls
      @tropicarls Před 4 lety +3

      hah fuck i didn't notice this

    • @BothHands1
      @BothHands1 Před 4 lety +7

      lol! That lady's my hero

    • @covertbandit0114
      @covertbandit0114 Před 4 lety +8

      a drunkard wannabe heckler lmao

    • @Nungasak
      @Nungasak Před 4 lety

      @@Estebanmdp100 That's what women do. Men don't give birth.

  • @carveylover
    @carveylover Před 6 lety +453

    I read the story about the guy and saw pictures of the injury when it happened. It was brutal. I love how he could make this funny.

  • @antkiller98
    @antkiller98 Před 4 lety +16

    This dudes one fight away from becoming the real life joker

  • @sidneylowery1543
    @sidneylowery1543 Před 4 lety +83

    Yikes, I would totally marry this man.

  • @MacBaza
    @MacBaza Před 6 lety +1848

    I think the scar makes him look sexier. No homo.

    • @banksdiggy
      @banksdiggy Před 6 lety +181

      You can't choose the word 'sexy' to describe a man and finish with no homo

    • @BAgee-lw9ct
      @BAgee-lw9ct Před 5 lety +95

      Same, no hetero

    • @lolgamez9171
      @lolgamez9171 Před 5 lety +8

      @@banksdiggy watch me

    • @raymccormick6285
      @raymccormick6285 Před 5 lety +17

      When you say no homo that's sealed your a homo

    • @revfunk8823
      @revfunk8823 Před 5 lety +13

      Whatever you gotta tell yourself cutie

  • @theoverunderthinker
    @theoverunderthinker Před 4 lety +449

    if not the Joker, you can be the Smirker!

  • @andersonpommer4130
    @andersonpommer4130 Před 3 lety +15

    He's 10000% a fallout 4 character. he just doesn't want the fbi to get involved on how he came into our world

  • @conflagrationTuesday
    @conflagrationTuesday Před 4 lety +5

    That is one of the best acts I've heard in 30 years.
    Simply beautiful timing, and vocabulary, and self-reference...

  • @danoxjeani
    @danoxjeani Před 4 lety +218

    Dude has an outstanding mustache. Respect.

  • @Pedro-tl7jg
    @Pedro-tl7jg Před 4 lety +209

    When you're so good looking even a scar looks good on you.

  • @tmoney0925
    @tmoney0925 Před 4 lety +8

    08:34 "It appears to be quite severe". That part killed me LOL

  • @neilguylindberg6672
    @neilguylindberg6672 Před 4 lety +33

    Great humor! I had my left foot broken saving a gal in the same way. Ends up the guy had just gotten out of prison 10 days before - after 9 years for rape. Guy knew some tricky fight moves... Anyway, stand tall! Do right! Live laugh and love!

    • @becky2235
      @becky2235 Před 6 měsíci

      Thank you on behalf of all women. Bow did you break youre foot? Kicking the person?

  • @kiwikudos555
    @kiwikudos555 Před 5 lety +482

    First, he's gorgeous. Just gonna put it right out there. Second, he is absolutely hilarious. His delivery and timing are perfect, and his content is very witty. Third, he's got amazing stage presence. Very comfortable. ❤️ Great job overall. 👍😄

    • @BananaRama1312
      @BananaRama1312 Před 5 lety +7

      i also think that ur looks matter most. atleast in a comedy special

    • @RiggedandReady
      @RiggedandReady Před 4 lety +1

      @@BananaRama1312 Ha Ha.

    • @jb613jb
      @jb613jb Před 4 lety

      see this is why Dane Cook ever had an audience in the first place. A guy would never say "that's a talented dancer" just because she had big... well .. em.. you get my point.

  • @sunshineproject
    @sunshineproject Před 6 lety +857

    Anyone who can make something horrible like this funny is a true standup ;)

    • @RustinChole
      @RustinChole Před 6 lety +7

      Farm To Table he’s a hero man. Pretty badass scar too.

    • @doomdoomerson6524
      @doomdoomerson6524 Před 5 lety +2

      Patrick Chole hell yeah...he probably agrees I bet... PLUS he became a fuckin GREAT comedian

    • @TheTyTyXD
      @TheTyTyXD Před 5 lety

      The funniest stories are usually the most traumatic ones lmao i think thats why the best comedians have the roughest early life

    • @burntreflection4500
      @burntreflection4500 Před 5 lety +2

      You like this watch the Joey Diaz joke about taking acid.

  • @trashpanda2825
    @trashpanda2825 Před 2 lety +4

    One of the funniest parts to me us him talking about the "infected box cutter" and leaning forward to bleed out any bacteria. If you're ever stabbed and the blade has been removed, particularly if it's a small laceration and you're not bleeding out, it's not a bad idea. Immediately rinse it as well, if you can bear to rinse out a wound

  • @fossrampant5826
    @fossrampant5826 Před 3 lety +3

    1. Total hero.
    2. One of the best-crafted and well-told stories I've seen in this series.
    3. "In a city of 8 million people, some of them are going to be screaming." Totally authenticates the premise -- this man has definitely lived in NYC.

  • @jayg1438
    @jayg1438 Před 5 lety +242

    outstanding story. Made us laugh about sexual assault, AIDS, a pillow fight, 'creepy mustache guy' the homeless and getting cut like the Joker.... and nothing all that offense.
    terrific story telling and perspective, and he did a great thing to help a stranger
    the only thing that doesn't jive is he went to Manhattan for weed when lives in Brooklyn!

  • @SAMMIE_SCRIPTZ
    @SAMMIE_SCRIPTZ Před 5 lety +371

    He's very attractive

  • @Gary_Seanfield
    @Gary_Seanfield Před 3 lety +8

    The brunette at 4:28, notice how her expression changes completely once Doug declares that he's gonna intervene

  • @jakescribner9986
    @jakescribner9986 Před 4 lety +5

    My buddy’s dad (we’ll call him James) lived in Detroit and one day 2 dudes came into his house to rob him thinking no one was home. He fought both of them off and they fled after taking some hard hits to the face. A relative of his (I don’t remember if it was dad brother or uncle) came into the room as the would be robbers ran out and the guy started freaking out. James asked him why he was freaking out because the bad guys were already gone. His brother said “your back is gushing blood” and it turned out they stabbed him in the back 4 times. He didn’t even go to the hospital, he just got patched up and home. James isn’t even a big guy either, he’s just a badass.

  • @SkoalTide96
    @SkoalTide96 Před 6 lety +230

    That’s a bad ass scar!

  • @RamblinAround
    @RamblinAround Před 6 lety +716

    Great job man! Best one I've seen in a while!

  • @justtim1269
    @justtim1269 Před rokem +4

    This is one of my favorite stories from the entire series. Doug should do an hour long special he’s got great presence and delivery

  • @Voltron4ev4
    @Voltron4ev4 Před 2 lety +2

    This was by far my favourite of these and I've been binge watching for days now. What a story. What a hero.

  • @lilspliffster88
    @lilspliffster88 Před 6 lety +368

    I seen his other sets n the crowd was dead he is a great stand up Comedy Central Netflix give him a special

    • @panicwithcompulsion
      @panicwithcompulsion Před 5 lety +4

      If his other sets are this good, I hope they give him a Netflix special. They've been giving most of the slots to female comedians and they are hilarious. Though I will stipulate that they pander to women's issues as much as men pander to men's issues, which can be a turn off for a lot of male audience members; they actually got rid of comments because of how sexist and toxic it was, which is a shame. I hope Netflix invests more in comedians, the younger generations love that shit.

  • @thebigh4752
    @thebigh4752 Před 5 lety +163

    Brilliant story. Great pacing, no rushing through the retelling, interspersed with punchlines. One of the best stories this season. Thumbs UP! (Also; Hero.)

  • @DrunkDuckXD
    @DrunkDuckXD Před rokem +3

    New York is full of a bunch of cowards. How could people not have done anything? Im glad this guy helped

  • @erenjaegerbomb8653
    @erenjaegerbomb8653 Před 2 lety +3

    Ok I've watched about 20 of these, wide range of quality but this is the first time I've been so impressed I'm gonna look this guy up. Super smart, imaginative comedy and great demeanour/ delivery.

  • @missoula2213
    @missoula2213 Před 6 lety +264

    This guy is a hero.

    • @RustinChole
      @RustinChole Před 6 lety +3

      Eric Wilsey for reals.

    • @garrenbloomquist5747
      @garrenbloomquist5747 Před 5 lety +1

      Suffer No Fools here’s the article on it theinterrobang.com/new-york-slashing-victim-turns-horror-comedy/

  • @chimdikeogbuokiri1835
    @chimdikeogbuokiri1835 Před 5 lety +1810

    Best story since MEXICANS GOT BOOTS

  • @jjfarnsdad
    @jjfarnsdad Před 3 lety +9

    Doug Smith is a great comedian and storyteller. I have watched this at least 8 or 9 times and it is funnier every time.

  • @alanmassimo2698
    @alanmassimo2698 Před rokem +7

    Great story , great delivery...Got to check out more of this guys' stuff...

  • @ProjectUnity
    @ProjectUnity Před 6 lety +127

    His scar looks dope now though

  • @StormAlterWorlds
    @StormAlterWorlds Před 6 lety +11

    Protip: If you see something like that, where you *know* that the guy needs to get the shit kicked out of him, don't warn him. Don't yell. Don't push. Don't behave in any way that would be considered civil or courteous. You rush up on his blind side, and you hit him in the side of his head as hard as you possibly can. Then grab ahold of his shirt by the back of the neck, if possible, and keep hammering away. Don't stop until you are absolutely certain he is unconscious. If he turns around on you with a knife, use whatever hand is closest to grab his wrist and keep fucking hitting him in the face. Eventually he will drop, unless he's on something really potent. If that's the case, your best bet is to start screaming for help but DON'T STOP HITTING HIM.
    Too many times I see the "good guy" lose a fight because they tried to play fair. Don't. The point is to take the guy down without taking any damage yourself, if at all possible. Nowhere in there is "warn him" part of the mission. Play fucking dirty, because rapists and their like don't deserve to be treated courteously.

  • @damiansandersom7026
    @damiansandersom7026 Před 4 lety +2

    He makes the most serious situations sound hilarious! Great comedian, I can’t believe I haven’t found him since now. He just made a new fan.

  • @baxterharris2847
    @baxterharris2847 Před 2 lety +3

    I return to this video like every other month cause Doug just crushes it with this set.

  • @DocFeelGood4
    @DocFeelGood4 Před 6 lety +306

    The herd mentality of people in cities like new york... i will never understand. Props for him interfering but wtf new york?

    • @nzwaywish
      @nzwaywish Před 6 lety +19

      DocFeelGood4 bro just shut the fuck up. If you don't live here ahut the fuck up. Theres a bunch of crazy shit going on all the time , if you were to stop and give attention to all the fucking crazies you would never make it home or to work.

    • @dudeman7738
      @dudeman7738 Před 5 lety +25

      @@autisticaussieyt6416 you were probably born with a silver spoon in your mouth if you think what that guy is talking about is unreasonable.

    • @Qdawwg
      @Qdawwg Před 5 lety +12

      nassim zway it's like you're right but that's also why fuck new york, yeah I have tones of friends there and as a musician it is the greatest city on earth but I was born in the midwest (chi) and people here are just nicer than both the east and west coast that's why midwest to me will always be the best just overall kindness, manners, and respect

    • @Vincisomething
      @Vincisomething Před 5 lety +86

      @@nzwaywish so you would just watch a women get raped? There's a difference between weird guy pissing on the subway and a women getting raped...

    • @Kaydiasez
      @Kaydiasez Před 5 lety +16

      Is anyone going to point out that herd mentality has nothing to do with New York? you get a group of more than 2 and this happens. Human nature to preserve your own safety over everything else. NOTHING to do with NYC. EVERYTHING to do with humans being human.

  • @briterry4961
    @briterry4961 Před 4 lety +172

    He reminds me of Milo Ventimiglia from This Is Us and Zac Efron

    • @DGarza2324
      @DGarza2324 Před 4 lety +4

      u on point wit dat one g

    • @pandaharris5535
      @pandaharris5535 Před 4 lety +4

      I thought I was the only one seeing a skinny Zac efron , I'm glad I'm not alone

  • @3Demon100
    @3Demon100 Před 2 lety +5

    9:03 I really like the dude in the blue shirts reaction behind him. Everyone is laughing at the joke and a new fear just unlocked for him.

  • @davidadams2395
    @davidadams2395 Před 2 lety +2

    I've never heard of this guy before. He gave one of the best *This is Not Happening*'s I've seen.

  • @blasteroid9143
    @blasteroid9143 Před 6 lety +317

    yesss... i hope his friends call him scarface.. that'd be such a cool nick name..

    • @TwoGuysWithPants
      @TwoGuysWithPants Před 6 lety +1

      blasteroid damn so true

    • @Boba_Fettuccine.
      @Boba_Fettuccine. Před 6 lety +11

      or AIDs scar

    • @Berkmnn
      @Berkmnn Před 6 lety

      Wow way to fucking spoil it for me

    • @es_three232
      @es_three232 Před 5 lety +3

      Berkmnn why would you be reading the comments before finishing the video anyway?

    • @perskarva123
      @perskarva123 Před 5 lety +1

      I got a scar on my face. Got called scarface for a while...not that funny.

  • @danrom1721
    @danrom1721 Před 4 lety +161

    country zach efron is a funny dude

    • @thatherton
      @thatherton Před 4 lety

      Dan Rom hes from NYC did u watch the video or

    • @molassio1989
      @molassio1989 Před 3 lety +1

      @@thatherton I think it is maybe a reference to his mustache and/or his attire?

  • @jmfs3497
    @jmfs3497 Před rokem +2

    This guy is a great story teller. I love the "credibility" of fighting experience and face-bleeding with the pillow fighting introduction, moves into the drama, awkwardness, and blood of suddenly finding yourself in violent encounter, and then revisits the pillow fighting reference as the final punch.

  • @LizzyArmogida
    @LizzyArmogida Před 3 lety +3

    This is not only one of the most courageous stories but I kept laughing so hard during his telling of the story. Talk about a great human being and hilarious to boot! ♥️

  • @Undxscxsd
    @Undxscxsd Před 6 lety +59

    I'd like a hard count of how many times this story got him laid. It's gotta be a lot, and well deserved! He's got the scar to prove it.

  • @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate
    @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate Před 5 lety +218

    It's interesting that some men look sexy with a scar. A man who you wouldn't look at twice, you notice the scar and it's hot.

    • @jacobwebb8818
      @jacobwebb8818 Před 5 lety +18

      Sell me a house

    • @MsJenjea
      @MsJenjea Před 5 lety +29

      He’s hot to begin with!

    • @donaldwilson3579
      @donaldwilson3579 Před 4 lety +6

      Bc he saved a rape victim

    • @emilytwisp7721
      @emilytwisp7721 Před 4 lety +4

      I always notice a Tom Selleck mustache.

    • @jermainereyem7635
      @jermainereyem7635 Před 4 lety +2

      There's a scientific study where they showed a bunch of women a lot of pictures of men's faces and asked them to rate their attractiveness. Among all the different women from different backgrounds, there were two things that almost always made men more attractive: facial symmetry and scars.

  • @javierluna5235
    @javierluna5235 Před 3 lety +3

    The mustache and train tracks joke is a very underrated joke

  • @nnn248nnn
    @nnn248nnn Před 4 lety +2

    This guy is my newest favorite comedian, wow what a FANTASTIC delivery and set.