Funniest Hygiene Stand-up Jokes | Jim Gaffigan
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- čas přidán 23. 09. 2020
- Here are the funniest Hygiene jokes from all my past standups! Click subscribe if you enjoy!
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
:00 - Deodorant
1:30 - Other Peoples House
1:52 - Bath
3:27 - Showers
3:49 - Shampoo & Conditioner
5:03 - Body Wash
6:30 - Snake Oils
7:13 - Self Cleaning Animals
8:52 - Public Restrooms
11:54 - Hotels
13:41 - Shower Cap
14:05 - Hair
14:39 - Make-Up
14:57 - Eyebrows
15:23 - Japanese Cleanliness
16:22 - Napkins in Asia
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Clothing bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic bit.ly/JGCatholic
Drinking • Best DRINKING Jokes | ...
Disney • Best Disney World Joke...
Japan • Best Japan Jokes | Jim...
Fish • The FUNNIEST Fish Joke...
HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn
THE PALE TOURIST
Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
Canadian Map bit.ly/JGCanadaMap
Tapas bit.ly/JGTapas
Moose bit.ly/JGMoose
Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
Halifax Donair bit.ly/JGDonair
Rodeo bit.ly/JGRodeo
Drake Story bit.ly/JGDrake
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarathons
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
Lying bit.ly/JGLying
Dog Birthdays bit.ly/JGDogBirthday
Cold Weather bit.ly/JGColdWeather
NOBLE APE
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
My Least Favorite Doctor bit.ly/JGWorstDoctor
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada
CINCO
Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiotAbroad
Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFamily
OBSESSED
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
Bath vs Shower bit.ly/JGBathvShower
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
MR. UNIVERSE
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
Big Family bit.ly/3a6HW0L
Disney bit.ly/JGDisney
KING BABY
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffleHouse
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Pasta bit.ly/JGPasta
Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlates
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansasCBBQ
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
Garden Veggies • Eating from Jim Gaffig...
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Spain bit.ly/JGSpainJETW
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE w/ Conan - • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation • Jim Gaffigan CBS Sunda...
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600 - Zábava
Jim is a superhero. During the worst thing in our lives, he did something about it to make things better. A guy doesn't forget this.
Your jokes help me with my depression. Thanks for making my day better
Exercise, sunlight and a healthy diet will help more than screen time. A lot more. Good luck.
Best wishes dear! It does get better.
You Sir are a beacon of light in this crazy creepy tunnel we've found ourselves in. Thank you for being a good human.
You mean bacon.
I'm great with him as long as he don't get political. He did once and I was turned off for quite a while. Just recently started watching again.
Unless he's rating Trump, Hitler, and Stalin as his role models, I can take and enjoy the political. @@sharcrum
You sir... a bacon of light!
I have to agree...he is, hands down, the funniest clean comic out there...huge congrats on his success...
Yes. Funniest…’clean’ or otherwise.
I'm binge watching these jokes cause of very stressful times. I forgot to take my headache pills. Thank you for making laugh alone in my car while eating lunch.
This guy is irreplaceable, SOOO DARNED “CLEANLY” FUNNY. SOOO REFRESHING!!
Take good care Alexsa!
I know!!! ...and I've watched them all several times - I laugh every time!!!!
I work third shift by myself all night and I get really lonely and anxious and these videos always help me feel better
I’m grinding cod Cold War to get the gold skin for the Vargas 52
I love your comedy but my mom lol she LOVES you!!!
She is 85 now and it's great you make her smile and laugh...specially in the stressful times.
Cheers to you sir! Stay safe
One of my favorite clean comedian, it’s hard wfind a comedian who doesn’t drop F’ bombs every minute 😮 😆 curse words through the whole skit. Jim is clean!!
I think it's because his kids watch his comedy routines. He's a great dad & setting a great example for his kids. You don't have to be vile & nasty to be funny. 👍
Thank you for the happy distraction. You are a comedic genius. :))
9:56 This whole bit had me rolling. By the end I was in tears. "He's good guy. I'm moving in with him."🤣
My mom & dad passed away this year & while cleaning out mom's bathroom drawers & cabinets I found about 4 shower caps!! I was like, "Geez mom!" 😅 And speaking of deodorant, I've been wearing the same brand of deodorant for 45 years. It has always worked & smells good, but if I have to wear a substitute I do feel weird all day! It's like having a stranger under my armpit!! 🤣 Thanks for sharing your humor Jim. ❤
I'm sorry for your great losses. I lost my parents 2 yrs ago next month and your story made me think of my mom and her purses in her closet. Every single one had a contact case in it. Nothing else. Every one. Lol She was a blessing and I'm very lucky to have been her daughter. You take care with the deodorant! You're right too, I tried roll on and gel and I've got ptsd from what I felt like. I was unreliable those days 😆
@@nicolebarnett8702 - I'm very sorry for your losses as well. It's so hard and still seems unreal. They were both 87 and lived good long lives so I'm very blessed to have had them so long and relatively healthy up until about a year ago. My mom had dozens of handbags in her closet and in every one of hers I found Kleenex, some with lipstick stains on them. That was it. My poor girls will find all kinds of crap in my handbags when I die and they have to go through mine. Lol.
@@MLMLW I feel like Jim would make something hilarious of the fact that they couldn’t live without one another...but it is strangely pleasing that they lived only as long as each other after such a long life! I love both yours and Nicole’s anecdotes of the purse contents...humans are wonderfully quirky!😁
Right. I have the same reaction to strange deodorant. It makes me self conscious all day.
Which Deodorant do you wear? (RIP your mom and dad 🌹)
I miss the Jim Gaffigan Show, without a doubt, one of the funniest sitcoms EVER!!!😂😂
We're moving and unpacking. These jokes have kept us going. Also, the comedy has kept us civil to each other and our attitudes in check. Thanks for your help!
🤣 "who's cooking the feet? They're nearly done." 😂😂😂😂😂 Oh god, that floored me 😅
Enjoy jokes even when hearing a second and third time. I use as my therapy, instead of pills or alcohol or a therapist. Comedians earn well and deserve every penny. Thank you Jim and everyone who helps him. Bless you all!
I’m so hooked hooked on these videos! If his wife helps writing the comedy She must be hilarious too.
So many jokes are relatable and the voices he does are hilarious.
Really?! Please tell us more...
Da
Yay ya Tyra
R
Jim’s character voices are the best!!!
Jim Gaffigan is truly gifted, the main thing that's funny about him is his voiceovers he turns a simple joke into a masterpiece that has you laughing hysterically, I know if another comedian was to do his jokes it wouldn't be funny at all he's truly one of my favorite comedians. Wish he did more stand-ups!
He is so funny I binge watch all the time.
Over and over and over.....!!!!!
The hotel bit was hysterical 🤣 I haven't laughed that loud in a looooong time, thanks Jim!
Ooooohhh Nooooo! I only just realized that lots of other people have already laughed at Jim's jokes! Gross! This is worse than ABC bathroom gum! Quick take this video out and burn it. ;-)
I'm sure I've watched this video 7 or 8 times across the past few months and each time it's STILL fresh and funny 😁💙☮️
His delivery 😅😂🤣
Jim is absolutely the funniest clean comic there is, he is just awesome.
I second that 😊👍🏾
What's ironic is that it took me a few years to even notice he's a clean comic. It never occurred to me to notice whether or not he used language. He's just a really talented, funny guy, and he & his wife write hysterical jokes!
Im sure hes covered in filth from showering one a month lol
Calling him the "funniest clean comic" is an insult. He's funny, period.
Exactly!! That's why I like him so much.
Jim is hilariously funny 😆
My new routine each morning is coffee and Jim! Starting the day with laughter... yes!
My family literally started using body wash after seeing Jim discuss it, lol. Best comedy ever. Thanks, Jim
Make sure you get the body wash that has energy printed on it
We, because we’re dummies, just discovered you during lockdown. Seriously saving my mental health. I put you in for my 10 yt old grandson last night. He said he wouldn’t like “old people humor “. He hid his laughter in the couch pilla.❤️.
Thanks
Yo it
Hahaha old people humor. Awesome!
I just discovered him Monday! The “Map of Canada” was a SCREAM.
Lmao we can all unify over this genius!
I would love to see this act live! Jim is great
This man is brilliant! I watch him constantly!
Me, too. He gets me through my boring workouts at the gym.
I have laughed so hard, I’m sure it gave me back years in my life.
Love this guy so much.
My new all time favorite comedian !!
This guy always makes me laugh.
I just found your channel. I have never listened to your stand up before. Wow, I was missing something good. Your work is brilliant, thank you.
Hahaha shampoo and conditioner ( lol I need reading glasses 🤓 in my shower)!
Just ordered a Let’s Get Cookin’, Pale Force, and 2 Mike and Pat shirts. I’m all set. Thanks Jim 👩🍳
Jim is just wonderful. I listed to him for years before I realized hes a "clean" comic. It never occurred to me, hes just funny.
Jim is the cleanliest comic. He never cursed
Cursing is not funny. It is what a bad comedian uses.
"Who's got time for that?!? I'm naked!" 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for the compilations and daily posts, now your making my day daily
Thanks for the laughs today these classics never grow old.
You simply brighten up my day!😊. Thank you
I just cackled out loud about the body wash & the gum & cologne from the bathroom attendant. ❤😂
That weird couple from the Cialis commercial...lol
Thanks Jim 😁 I bring my own towels and 2 flat sheets to hotels. It saves me from losing my mind. 🤯
Are you guys making vitamins in here?
So obscure yet so relatable.
Uh oh, I was watching this while taking a bath!
I confess...I'm an idiot. Had oral surgery two days ago with stitches and swelling. Had to stop watching this because well laughing really hurts.
Been there
You’re like a walking joke factory. I’m speechless, mostly because I’m laughing but still speechless nonetheless. 😂😂😂
Jim, you make my day worth while. LOL
This is the greatest comedian ever.. he makes me laugh out loud…love him.
Yep he is definitely the funniest guy around I love the toilet paper on the table Naches kept me laughing for the rest of the day
Thanks so much Jim for posting these clips of topical comedy. I am gonna bingewatch to the end.
Jim really cleans up his hygiene jokes. Mine stink.
Robert Turner bahahaha
Ba dum tsss...
👍
🤣😂
Jim you are a pleasure to see. Thank you.
The 'Hotels' segment had me in stitches 🤣
The roll of toilet paper at the table always caused me to (inwardly) chuckle.
Ok I’m one of those weird bath people 🤣
Same
Me too
@PantoponRose Goatoe: Baths are awesome, especially the onsen (hot spring). Hopefully, Jim has given them a chance, since the rule is to take a shower before soaking in one. Therefore, no need to “sit in a pool of your own filth”, as he put it
Me too. And the absolute last thing on my mind when I escape my family for and hour or two is Cealis.
I like sitting in a pool of my own filth as well.
Jim can find THE FUNNIEST HUMOR out of every mundane thing! He's secretly a Scandinavian spy! What a ruse! 😂
Thanks for making me laugh out loud. I needed this. 😂
Happy Father’s Day Jim! Thanks for the laughs!! You’re the best ❤️❤️
"I'm gonna wash your body...(whispers) while you sleeeep"
No me canso del humor de Jim puedo ver mil veces los chistes, pero para mi hay varios Jim, parece una persona diferente en cada especial, Keep on making People laught!!!
So true about everyone's houses having their own smell. Use all the scented candles, febreeze you want. It still has a smell.
Best bathroom graffiti “WASH YOUR HANDS “
No, YOU wash your hands!
I have probably memorized by now each joke of yours and still laugh with the same joy when hearing them. Evergreen jokes. Jim Gaffigan, I thank God for creating you.
His parents created him, not your imaginary god
Why not thank his parents? They *definitely had something to do with him being alive today.
You're a blast! Thanks for the laughs!
This man is funny!!!!! I've been watching his videos and I'm a fan now 👍
Hysterical!
Better to laugh with each other in todays messed up world, than get caught up in all the hate..
This guy is hilarious!
Absolutely hilarious!
These are laugh-out-loud ones for sure! No question.
Dinner with the Gaffigans on Saturday is great.
I'm totally with the times. Just saw your Trump tweet (from August) this morning. Thank you for speaking your mind, and speaking the truth at that. You were already one of my favorite comedians, and that just made me love you that much more.
You could pull out a shower cap from your pocket for this segment. And put it on. 🛀
🤩 Jim made me laugh /howl and he never dropped one f bomb 💣 . Made my day
Thank You Jim !! Great Material
Omgosh Jim is the funniest man on the planet. I’m seriously lol at work.
Toilet paper at the table and none in the bathroom. Spot on.
Mr. Gaffigan, I find it hilarious that I got a Door dash "breakfast in bed" commercial on your video... Lol
Thanks, Jim! I look forward to these videoes. I play them at work. You have 3 new fans now!
Amazing this guy!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Love Jim!!
Jim Gaffigan ... 18 minutes??? ... OH HECK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
Bath joke was over the top
4:55 this is still one of the funniest things you've ever said.
I love your jokes Gaffigan
4 out of 5 dentists agree that Jim Gaffigan is funny.
Andrew Greene 9 out of 10 Good Sir! Lol
I love Jim Gaffigan!!
Who needs sit ups when you got Jim…😂🤣👍
Lol The shower cap is for like hair that's already been treated or done up all nice
LOVE THE JIM!!!
This is so spot on, lol.
Jim slays with this set,
Thanks for posting your comedy Jim! Loved ya in super troopers btw!
Feckin brilliant jim!
Love THE JIM
Last two were hilarious 😂
soooooooooo awesome...I dont know how you do it and remember all the things you say
Jim and Jeannie are really funny!