Stand Up Comedy Jokes about Europe | Jim Gaffigan
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- čas přidán 12. 06. 2024
- To all my European friends and subscribers out there it's not that I'm making fun of you... Its that your cheese made me feel weird.
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
:00 - Going Through Customs
:36 - Metric System
1:18 - Anti_Dutch Comedian
1:54 - Netherlands Anne Franke House
3:16 - Dutch Paintings
4:38 - French Bottled Water
6:26 - French Cheese
9:28 - German Sandals
9:52 - Austrians Not German
10:47 - Swedish Father
11:06 - Iceland Fish Juice
11:46 - Looking Swedish
12:36 - Finland Sauna
14:21 - Cross Country Skiing
15:09 - Snow Shoeing
15:42 - The Vikings
16:17 - Sweden Vasa Museum
16:58 - Norway Reindeer
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals bit.ly/AnimalsCompilation
Fast Food bit.ly/FastFoodCompilation
Jesus bit.ly/JesusComp
Clothing bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic bit.ly/JGCatholic
Drinking • Best DRINKING Jokes | ...
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Fish • The FUNNIEST Fish Joke...
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HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set) bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
Florida Man (Full Set) bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarathons
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
Lying bit.ly/JGLying
Cold Weather bit.ly/JGColdWeather
NOBLE APE
My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrainTumor
Massages bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
OBSESSED
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
Big Family bit.ly/3a6HW0L
KING BABY
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
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Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
SUPER OLD
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LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
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JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
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KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE
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Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600 - Zábava
The irony of a bottled water ad during this video is just too perfect
@Ghost Enybodykiller I get the face cream
I got shafted! Adblocker plus thwarted me again on seeing any ads.
I honestly think that like half of Google employees have the job title ' troll ' just to do stuff like that. I've watched 15 minute video explaining why something is a scam, and sure enough, and ad for the product is at the end of it.
@@PeterSedesse lol🤣🤣
I’m 61 and when I was in elementary school my teachers (and academics in general) kept saying learn the metric system because it’s coming to America. I remember even as a 3rd grader, I thought, “ Well isn’t it your job to teach it to us? You keep telling us to learn the metric system but we are a bunch of 8 year olds and you are the teacher.
I think its unfair to blame the failure of the Metric System. Well? The acceptance of the Metric System. Its not like Carter didn't try. If I remember correctly, Jimmy Carter was America's only scientist president.
one day america will switch too because metric is just better
Oh Yana, that’s hilarious! Precisely!🤣
I’m 39 and even when I was a kid we were told to expect a switch to the metric system.
I’ve heard we won’t change because nails and screws, and tools, are imperial. It would make it very hard mixing these and owning tools both metric and imperial.
Denmark here! This is just the kind of humour we like: taking the piss on everybody - but mostly on ourselves. I love it!
Yep us English do the exact same
loved Denmark and the Danes 👍🏼
@@JCs-Music Thank youvery much
- on behalf of all of us :-)
The thing that I most enjoyed in Denmark was the humor of the Danish. Always taking the piss of each other.
If I said, "I love eating a danish in the morning.", would you consider that a lewd remark?
Im Finnish and can confirm that we do not really like anything we do. Exept drinking vodka in a sauna.
Not sure about Russians not liking anything, BUT we do love drinking vodka and sit in banya aka sauna 😁
Do you like to watch Kimi Raikkonen drive?
@@desertpair2 Not really into that. But I respect his attitude. Kimi knows what he is doing and doesn't give a damm if somebody is watching.
@@iraidushka cheers to our neigbours!
And eating liquorice with caustic chemicals in it 😉
"My father was Swedish and my mother was Elton John". I really like that joke!! ❤👍🏼😆👏
“Now I know why we wear clothes” - looking around at people in the sauna… that one really got me!
"Bjorn Borg, Bjorn Borg..." I burst out laughing so hard, I sneezed, then choked, then coughed 'till I had tears running down my face. And the Austrian bit? Dead on. Beyond funny.
I feel like Jim Gaffigan seems likes such a nice person that he could say anything and it would just be funny and never offensive. It’s a perfect balance. ☺️
He could almost pass as a Canadian ( except for the standard vs metric systems).
I guess you don't remember Jim getting drunk and high and going on a crazy rant about Trump? He used to be my favorite comedian, until he opened his big mouth about politics.
@@normanbirk3075 source?
then look at his eyes... btw: most comedians are inside very angry and vicious... only a few are different (e.g. Jerry Lewis, he wasn't evil, only a very sensible and serious guy).
A comedian who doesn’t use swear words, or sex references. He is very funny, anyway!!
Lol, about the art museum... in holland our class had to see a modern arts museum, and while we where there, I wanted to test my camera, and there was an empty spot with a small plack saying “reserved for art”. So I took a picture to test the lighting and lens and all that, and as I was zooming in on the picture I had just taken, to check the quality before I start taking pictures of the art, nodding to my self, a group of Asian people who saw that I took the picture went over and started taking pictures of the empty wall... either they thought that this was the best the museum had to offer (an actual possibility) or I just fooled a bunch of tourists into taking a picture of a wall 😂
🤣🤣
Same thing has happened to me on more than one occasion. I do photogrammetry which means taking copious pictures of boring props. So i would be at versailles or something and instead of taking pictures of something interesting I'd be taking a bunch of different angles of one little section of crown moulding and for some reason large swaths of asians would always decide it was the most interesting thing they've ever seen. I'm like bitch you don't even know why I'm doing this
In some modern art museums that might be interpreted as a statement.
At least there wasn't a banana taped to the wall.
Asians are not stupid.
Dear Jim Gaffigan: We need this laughter. Thank you for this endless supply of laughter juice. 🙏🏼❤️
The laughter juice is stored in the balls
@@JohnSagin-SimViDeLucis579 Lol, five children? Clearly, this must be the case :)
🤦♀️
I agree in every level
Jim Gaffigan is by far my favorite comedian. And it just goes to show you that you don’t need to be vulgar or use a lot of bad language to be funny.
October 2020: I miss travel so much I'm watching travel jokes.
I joke so much I have to travel.
@@MichaelSHartman r
December 2020: the future’s not looking so hot buddy
Try and find a proper hobby.
Me too. I saw a picture of an airport and I started to feel homesick (we travel a lot)
I remember when they first started selling bottled water. I thought it was a scam too. Especially since Evian backwards is naive.
A great movie to watch is Topaze. A satire all about bottled movie , from 1933.
It's STILL a scam!
_Water makes money_
Oh snap
Never knew 🤯
I know this is a compilation, not a continuous routine, but is this guy always this clean and this funny?
Yes he is
Yep! Maybe a moment here and there, but yep!
best clean comic in my opinion
It's not that he intentionally works clean, or that he wants to be known as the clean comedian, it's just that he's so funny he doesn't have to "work blue" as they used to say...
Not everyone can be Robin Williams. SOME can be funny without being a total ass.
"I don't even know what it looks like but I might have accidentally packed some" 😂😂😂😂 I felt that 😂
I thought it was just me. 😂
Same
Anne Frank house: 1 star, did not hide the family very well
DAAMMNN
That’s a spicy meat ball.
I was waiting on the answer to be in a German accent.
Gut
ooof...
Jim Gaffigan is the only person I know of that grows MORE hair getting older.
Joe Biden
@@q-ball3458 Maybe Kai doesn't know Joe Biden personally. Ever think of that, JILL!
@@Whooshta maybe Joe Biden doesn’t know he is Joe Biden. 😉
@@ryandavid4570
The frightening thing is that you are probably right.
Men all grow more hair as they get older, it just changes from top of head to nose and ears.
Man, was really hoping for a Belgium mention. Favorite country I've visited thus far and it's like a blend of France, Netherlands, and the Middle East
Yes but mostly agressive middle easterns. Europe is going to be great in 50 years!
As a Belgian, this is true.
And you have created the greatest dog on earth, the malinois.
Favourite country? It’s a dump. Brussels is like a large sewer
You spelled “Border Collie” wrong
Jim I've been a comedy fan since the mid '70s but not that often nowadays. You're a breath of fresh air, you're raucously hilarious in a gentle way. Yes raucously. Thank you so much. 👍🏻
I'm Swedish, my husband is from Finland this is so funny 😂🤣
Indeed! I´m born in Finland and there it´s common to say that Swede´s are gay (due to the Finnish harshness/toughness and "just do it" mentality and the Swede´s avoidance of conflict and all the talking and no action). All of them!
Now, I live in Sweden and... sure.... they are.
@@darkoflight4938 My husbands reaction to your comment "hahaha yep true".
@@darkoflight4938 I dated a Swede. You are so right. Blaa blaa blaa ...then Nothing.
czcams.com/video/ntTNylMdVyw/video.html Mr. Sweden?
Jim Gaffigan's jokes get funnier the older he gets. He's like the Cocoon of stand up
You are my husband’s favorite comic, and now I even listen to you and watch you more than he does. Your stories are relatable and beyond hilarious. Your comedy perspectives simply enhance life.
I think everyone who goes to college and earns an undergraduate degree should be required to take a course in Jim Gaffigan stand-up comedy. Your humor makes us smarter and better.
Meth dog is the BEST description of a goat i have ever heard!
How does the “my mother was Elton John” joke manage to hold its ground so well? I’ve heard it in almost every compilation, and it’s still funny
Bc of the way we picture it
When I visited Norway, several people thought I was Norwegian and I also didn’t want to admit it 😅 so they would say something and laugh and I would just laugh back. Usually that was enough but if they kept going I had to admit I didn’t understand and they immediately “Oh my gosh you’re American!” Lol!
That works everywhere, that's what i do with the French Canadians in Quebec,,,😅😅😅
Thanks for the laughs Jim! Regards from Sweden 🇸🇪
I love Jim’s humor. I’ve been laughing and crying throughout. I needed that. Thank you!!
same
Thank you Jim Gaffigan,,
Magnificent comedy 🎭
"People who enjoy winter activities are mentally unstable" I feel personally attacked XD. Funny jokes that all had me at the minimum smiling. Ppl think I'm crazy now after watching this on a bus in Germany.
I love his sense of humor! You can't get mad at him. Bjorn Borg was hilarious and the French phrase for "what the f... kind of cheese is that?" is qu'est-ce que c'est... 😉
Jim thank you for being a comedic legend and always killing with non stop laughs and amazing content! sending lots of respect & love to you Mr. Gaffigan!
I just LOVE him. Besides being hilarious he also has good values.
Ye not very many funny comedians that a family friendly too
Oh brother!
“I’m gonna need you to be quiet… for the rest of your life” lololol
You are so great for the spirit! Thank you Jim. 🤸♀️💃
I haven’t seen him Jim Gaffigan in years and man that just gave me a hell of a laugh.
This guy has an endless supply of hilarious jokes. Amazing.
2:40 “It took us way to long to find them. One star”.
- Hans Müller.
Please don’t kill me for this.
Jim knows plenty about representing America to the world!
Yep. You just tell 'em you're Canadian 🤣
Yeah, he makes me hates us more lol we’re not the center of the universe. Why I like to travel. I don’t like conformity. Murica’s me home though
Yes, he confirms all the stereotypes about americans
Mostly stereotype's and jokes so no not really. 😂
This Canadian thanks you for the laughs. Your type of humour is rare and much needed.
Nothing like honesty to make us laugh. Well done.
Jim thank u for making me laugh. I’m going through and incredibly difficult time in my life and felt myself sinking into depression. Your comedy and helped immensely ❤️. God bless u💜✝️
Sorry to hear that you’re going through a rough patch. Stay strong but release what’s ready to go. There’s some good stuff trying, waiting to drop by for a spell. ✌🏾
Hi Jennifer Liepe. How are you doing?
I hear that. Comedy sure helps during the hard times.
Look up Brad Upton on Drybar comedy. You'll thank me later.
Stay strong.. you'll get through your difficult times..
Every joke about Finnish people and winter activities pretty much applies to people from Northern Minnesota where I grew up 😂 Makes sense since there’s thousands of descendants of Finnish immigrants there, not to mention Norwegian, Swedish, German, Polish, Italian… I have inherited so many old world European customs it can get a bit confusing sometimes trying to remember which country they come from 😂
Now I remember why I love Jim Gaffigan.
I love when David Sedaris confessed that he thought the Anne Frank House would be a fabulous apartment.
I felt the "here's our boat that didnt float" part. 👏🤣 Cus I can see it, and we are so proud!
It was a prototype,one of our warrior kings wanted extra cannons, its not something i´m proud of, its our biggest naval fail throughout swedish history.
We need to laugh more. Thank you for providing lots of smiles. Traveling is an adventure and you made it funny. Great job!
You're the best, Jim Gaffigan! Thank you so much 🥰
Jim is the best medicine. Thank you.
I got a Poland Springs add in the middle of the bottled water bit
The video games at the Anne Frank house story cracked me up. LOL
The cross country skiing skit! 🤣🤣 I needed that laugh!
You are one of the few comedians today who can make me laugh out loud
LMAO😂😂😂 The whole European bit with cheese and butter was FREAKING HILARIOUS😃😂!! And when you said "See that dog that looks like it smokes meth. Could someone milk that? I gotta hunch it make some good cheese to go with beets." LOL!!😂 I swear I lost it and almost peed my pants😂
I cried laughing lol
Americans: “I don’t know the metric system.”
Also Americans: “So I got this 9mm gun.”
Well, the most American way to use the metric system would be for guns of course.
Well the glock and m9 are European
Living abroad forced me to learn it. It's actually not that hard. A meter is about a yard.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Painfully accurate, good one.
That was a Most needed laugh. I just got home from the cardiac unit here in Chicago and I Truly needed This. God bless you and yours, All of Yours..😆 🙏..
As a Dutch person I appreciate the mentions ;)
"In Finland they drink vodka while relaxing in a sauna - which would explain why we never read any Finnish literature."
I damn near wet myself with that one.
@Risto Kempas chill it’s a joke, virgin
I admire the comedy, and persistence throughout this crazy time. Much love Jim. X
Anne Frank's house now has a 4.5/5.0 star rating. And yes people have rated one star stating there are no video games. Nice work Jim :)
I skipped it. Line was around the block. Didn’t miss much from what I heard
Not as much fun as I thought.
😉🥰🙃😇
Nice job sunshine market 👌 I could 😋 have bought it from you for .15 a 5 gallon container but instead I'm having a container delivered by prime by drone 👌...and Donald ✋😀...you only get one star 🌟🤩 rating today 😀. Because I'm down to 10 reading not reading Google stupid... doesn't anybody know how to Google my phone or my house?
Life follows art.
Thank you so much for your comedy. I listen to your sets every night. It’s the only way I can sleep!! I also just started watching Pale Force which is hilarious!! Blessings to you and your family. Stay well!!
Jim makes a good point about the bottled water. Studies have shown that, although it's not any purer than tap water, it is - literally - a thousand times more expensive.
The (French) cheese thing is a great highlight in how America pushes the dairy industry (differently). In France they don't drink milk like Americans. I remember being told if you ask for a glass of milk they will look at you like you asked for a glass of lemon juice. The French just eat cheese to supplement the calcium intake needed.
You are an AMAZINGLY funny comedian, thanks so much for posting!
Love watching you! Honestly one of my favorite things is to see your uploads every morning!
“It’s just like the Notebook!”
I was gonna say Mork and Mindy
That was funny, loved the german jokes.
Yep, those were good. But socks in sandals is a Czech thing :-D
@@amurape5497 And German. Guilty as charged.
I realy disliked the german jokes, all they did was serve to humiliate.
Currently isolating and losing my mind because of a close contact with a presumptive COVID-19 case, and this really cheered me up.
I assume that it worked out for you based on what we know about it now?
@@mattprater8828 well given my age and profile likely 1/2000 or even 1/10,000 chances of dying depending on which studies you believe, but I’m concerned when I see that 70% or so of recovered patients (regardless of severity of infection and including asymptomatic) have heart inflammation 3 months down the road, in some cases causing fatal myocarditis, so I don’t think I or even most people will know the ramifications until much later.
lol, Europe here, i have no trouble to stay home for 2 weeks, i spend 3 weeks in the alpes in September, i could use the time to upload my gopro vids and sorting my 3000 pics...lol btw, i get fully paid too, its just nice to live in a socialist country where the conseratives take care of the normal workers...!
@@BrendanRiley wish you the best and hope you are not affected
@@seymourskinner2533 Thanks Seymour!
I'm still fighting to assemble a sofa bed from Ikea so this Swedish lady won't be of any help 😁
You are one funny dude!
I appreciate your raw sense if humor.
I needed my Jim Laughagain moment! Must check-in for laughs...Thanks, Jim!
This was perfect. Was feeling kind of lame, this really helped.
Great stuff man
Jim, Thank you so very much for doing what you do. This place is better because of you.
The "appendix get ready to blow" comment is even more funny now after watching Quality Time.
So funny. i have austrian and norwegian family, and you nailed it.
Thank you very much for bringing laughter to our house , take care now.
I remember the National Gallery in London and a particularly annoying frigging guard, 💩 followed me everywhere from pre- Renaissance art art through to Impressionism, he thought he was being discrete but in truth he was beginning to piss me off so I walked around a wall to the next room and waited for him to show at the other end, as i saw him i walked back and waited for him to reappear and i would nip back and forth between the rooms before he saw me. I could see his reflection in a mirror and kept ducking out of sight as he showed, watching him running backwards and forwards with increasing panic on his face. when he finally ran down the room to where i was i quickly zipped the other way into another room where i pretended to be quietly appreciating a tiny Rembrandt until i heard his panicked clip clap shoes and his sweaty assed wheezing. then i calmly strolled out of the building, I had tears running down my face as i tried to show calm but it was totally worth freaking the annoying git out for ruining my visit. 😂
Love you Jim Gaffigan you always crack me up. So need your laughter and jokes. Thanks 🙏
After taking 2 world cruises i have been to every country you joked about. You are absolutely brilliant! Thank you so much for posting this. We need you at a time like this .
My husband sold a guy air once - true ( and HILARIOUS ) story !! I'm not gunna share all details here, but just so y'all know, he does have integrity & didn't want to ACTUALLY take the guy's $ for it, had been joking when he offered the special, winterized air for the guy's tires.... . Long story short, customer wouldn't leave until he sold him some. I just remembered, he nearly got out of it finally by pretending to find a " half a bottle in the back, on the house " but the guy still forces the $20 on him even then... .
I found a deal on Amazon for three cans of air for $10. That's not bad for retail. It wasn't winterized, of course.
@@mkvv5687 Summer Air...?
@@ilkkak3065 Yes. Summer air is less dense, providing more profit to the manufacturer.
F’n love this dude!! One of my favorite comedians of all time!! Still laughing 🤣😂🤣
Jim always cheers me up.
"I'm gonna need to be quiet now, for the rest of your life!!" 😅👌
Classic Gaffigan, that's name is known from coast to coast like butter & toast 🤣🤷
My Mom used to put butter on our sandwiches for school so the mayo wouldn't make the bread soggy.
@Ringo Garvin toaster? For a sack lunch?
So. When you got older and found out, did you tell your Mom mayo doesn't make the bread soggy?
@@desertpair2 She put mayo on top of the butter. Wasn't bad. 😝
Ewwwwwwww my Aunt put mustard on her sausage biscuit and it blew my mind.. its not bad and eggs and ketchup..
@@Soul-OnFire Oh, no. Gotta be mustard with a sausage biscuit. Ketchup? Gross.
Want to hear something gross, my sons girlfriend uses mustard to dip her french fries in. 😝
Literally everything he says cracks me up. There may be two other comedians that make me laugh like Jim, if that many
Super funny video. Love his impression of a smoking Frenchman promoting bottled water!
Absolute precision
So funny. You’re the best, Jim! Never get tired of your humor. Thanks, again!
You are fantastic! I laugh so much. Thanks
Who would possibly give Jim a thumbs-down?! This is great atufff
Some other stand up comedians
Jim. You're very funny. Thank you and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family. 🎄🙏🏻
I started buttering my sandwich bread because of this and it's so good!!! Thanks Jim.
@ J. Rebekah
Salted or non salted ? :-)
I don't care what you say, Mr. Gaffigan. You are talented. Your ideas and your tone.
Thanks for the laughs.
Best one was a girl from Jordan misspeaking and saying “I am in the USA on a terrorist visa”. That was hilarious! She meant tourist visa.
i wouldnt be sure about that!
@@Arltratlo don’t be that guy
@@seymourskinner2533
That’s called a joke.
@@LEO_M1 what? Go inject some disinfectant
@@seymourskinner2533 Yes it was a joke. Feel free to retreat to your safe space though.
i really really love u and ur family. ur one of my all time favorite comedians!!!
One of the best comedians ever! HILARIOUS!
Thank you for sharing.
You are so hilarious! Liked your comedy for a while now and being able to listen to your compilations while working from home has really helped me get through the days. Keep it up buddy and "Eat Freeeeesh"
Best video on CZcams, hysterically funny! ❤️
I was thinking about sending you some support money when it dawned on me that humor is your gift to mankind.
Yes, it was the French who started with bottled water. Thought it was silly too, but thought about trying it till I realized, Evian is actually "naive" spelled backwards.