My Girlfriend's Family Hate That I'm Muslim. Should We Breakup? | The Dilemma
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0:00 Intro
1:14 part I: q&a
5:20 part II: group discussion
8:54 final advice
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Iâll never forget when my then boyfriend said âIâm dating you, not your family,â when I was expressing concerns about my dysfunctional family. Itâs now been 10+ extremely happy years. Find someone who loves YOU and thatâs all that matters.
Is he muslim and you christian??
thats beautiful
I don't think the girl in this case is fully committed towards choosing him and her happiness over her family but I think u were willing to do that
For me itâs exactly the same. If I love a person, their family is irrelevant.
@@SlimSHadY_10 I agree. Maybe they edited some stuff out, but to me it seems like she doesn't love him as much as he loves her
"You deserve to feel seen, heard, loved and safe." She hit it on the head with that advice. Every single episode of The Dilemma so far has been amazing! It was nice to see Matthew as one of those offering advice.
Iâm e v e r y w h e r e. Hi!
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how come his parents are allowed to do that? b/c he comes from a dirty religion and weâre supposed to feel bad?
@@jacobs5057 what in the world đ
All because her family doesnât talk to you doesnât mean they hate you. They literally gave their daughter to you. They know she has free will. If they really did hate you they would tell her to break up with you immediately. Distance is fine and you canât force someone to love you.
And also, he said that his parents are the same way, so I donât see a problem or anything serious going on. Even the fact that he is considering breaking up with her, he should just get it over with. Why waste her love, time, and devotion if your already considering leaving it all behind
Also, the reason her family may even not like Muslims because they were treated badly by them after they converted to Christianity. So itâs not just hating Muslims for no reason, itâs because Muslims hated them first.
In my opinion: being timid or shy in these situations is not an excuse to not stand up for someone you claim to love or care about. I get I love my family too but somethings people will understand or they won't. In this case if it's gotten this bad and she isn't on your side sticking up for you she's basically made her choice and it's her family
if she's showing effort there's something to fight for
Exactly, I agree.
@@middlenamexavier idk. If she's not more firm with her position, if her family doesn't change their outlook on muslims. Then they constantly rebuke her for her decusion until she'll eventually leave. But i also don't know her, so maybe im overthinking.
I donât think sheâs ready or will ever be ready to choose the relationship over her family, and it seems that the people on NO side are only holding out on the assumption that BOTH of them equally ready to branch off regardless of how evident they arenât just cause she showed hope to him once or twice. Thatâs not change, thatâs dragging someone along.
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My personal opinion: Donât start a relationship on a bad foundation, especially one related to family.
@@paulwaltersheherfeministvl521 why is your mom crying over some CZcams comments?
@@paulwaltersheherfeministvl521 If you take honesty as being mean, you have some things to think about. It's not about the comment, it's about what you hold inside.
@@thequeens420 Exactly.
@@thequeens420 did she erase another comment?
@@paulwaltersheherfeministvl521 what does the comment have to do with you? I dont get it
he literally said it looms over the relationship and that the parents donât give it a chance. it literally affects his mood and their relationship. itâs not gonna work out and itâs only gonna get worse the longer they stay together
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itâs not the girls fault tho, itâs the parents .
@@0Takethoserisks0 from the looks of it the girl isnt putting too much effort. she sees this as temporary.
@@0Takethoserisks0 itâs upto the girl to show the effort and stick up for the relationship
I mean it has only been 9 months. I had a friend who hid her bf from her parents for a few years cause of similar reasons about religion and cultural customs. They built a solid bond over that time and they got married recently. She basically built a foundation strong enough that she could go to her parents and deflect all their doubts. I just wish these two's family opinions wouldn't matter so much to them cause it's their relationship between each other that's more important. I get why it affects them so, but it is sad to hear that it's getting to a point they're both having doubts about their relationship.
In my opinion, if one person is putting more effort than the other partner is, it's a wrap for me. Life is difficult as it is. You don't need someone's lack of effort in a relationship to prevent you from seeking out great people who are wholeheartedly willing to do the work. Period.
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Preach!!
Well said đ
Both of them could be putting in the effort, only one side of the story was shared
All because her family doesnât talk to you doesnât mean they hate you. They literally gave their daughter to you. They know she has free will. If they really did hate you they would tell her to break up with you immediately. Distance is fine and you canât force someone to love you.
And also, he said that his parents are the same way, so I donât see a problem or anything serious going on. Even the fact that he is considering breaking up with her, he should just get it over with. Why waste her love, time, and devotion if your already considering leaving it all behind
Also, the reason her family may even not like Muslims because they were treated badly by them after they converted to Christianity. So itâs not just hating Muslims for no reason, itâs because Muslims hated them first.
@@David.124 you know there are more than a billion muslims in the world, how is that an excuse for the family? I do think he should let her go.
I hope jubilee does a 1 month or 6 month follow up with this dilemma series bc I still wanna know if the married guy in the âIâm gay should I come out to my wife?â episode finally let his wife go or notđ âŠ
that was the best one
Yessss, there needs be a year update. He needs more time take changes.
Once he said "it's something that looms over the relationship" that's it, no point in investing in something inherently toxic.
Ya ya
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Religion and relationships are deal breakers. You shouldn't have to change your beliefs to appeal to her family or her. It's just not worth it. It is like marrying into a racist family, but, because people often view your religion as a choice, the judgement and the pressure to conform can often be more intense.
I would break up.
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@@ItzMalick alright, bro. I gave you some love. Keep working hard and keep it positive.
But you do realize she'll have to convert because a Muslim cannot marry a non Muslim so if they continue one of the two will have to convert. Religion is definitely a deal breaker.
This
@@faith4365 muslim men are allowed to marry people of the book (so christians or jews) so its ok. Him having a girlfriend in the first place is not đđ i hope everything works well for them and they can get married
Go where you are appreciated- not tolerated. Please find someone who will love you for what you believe in.
But she loves him, her parents donÂŽt.
@@annaagapova3583 she should stand up for him
Damn. Shocked that everyone said no in the beginning. Iâm sorry, but religious conflicts are very difficult. Personally wouldnât continue a relationship as soon as I realized the religious conflict
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No one said yes in the beginning.
@@Criner05 mistake, edited the comment
It depends on whether it's a religious conflict between the two of you (as in: you are both firm in your religion) or only between the families, IMO. For the latter, prejudices can maybe be overcome. For the former, you will have to compromise so much, that will be really hard.
@@Snowshowslow Same. Her not standing up for him in regards to her family was the main issue imo
As a person with a Christian background who just got out of a relationship with a Muslim, I feel like iâm very close to this situation. I was in love. I never cared about our differences and was always willing to compromise on things we disagreed upon. But I knew that both of our families did not approve. and although we tried hard to fight through that, in the end, no matter how much you love someone, knowing that your partner will never truly be accepted by your family is something we couldnât move past. it affected both of us mentally, more so than we realized. it was heartbreaking. it got to the point where, like he said, it was affecting our ability to love. and in the end, it contributed a lot to our relationship ending. my advice - do some serious soul searching. find out who you are and what youâre willing to go through for love. because itâs not worth it unless you do.
How long did it take you to recover emotionally from this, and how are you today, do you feel deep down you still love them?
This is hard for me to read. I am Christian and my Muslim boyfriend pursued me despite knowing I often attend church/am religious. I gave him a chance because he said he respected me but wanted to make it work. He is an amazing partner but I feel I am self sabotaging because Iâm horrified for my prejudiced family to find out. Do you regret what happened? What would you change?
@@kpoplover1901 So your family doesnât about him ? What about his family ?
@@lawtraf8008 our siblings know about each other, we were going to tell our parents when we both started working. So probably like in another year and a half.
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As an Indian I can totally understand this. It sucks when we have to chose between love and family
What does your nationality have to do with it? It sucks having to choose between love and family irrespective of nationality.
@@tenzing2090 because its relateable for indians
@@-__-5412 how so? I'm curious
I love Indian girls
@@tenzing2090 these days communal divide is on the rise in india
As someone who really doesnât interact with my bfâs family and vice versa, I really donât care what my family thinks. Unfortunately, a lot of parentsâ prejudice puts unnecessary stress on relationships that theyâre not even a part of. For me personally, chosen family is just as if not more important to me because those are the people that I will continue to grow with in life.
I cared in the beginning from my situation until they showed me who they are and then I didnât care đ€·đœââïž
as bad as it sounds, learning to not care what your family thinks of you is so empowering. i feel you on that
exactly im dating you not your family
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@@xoxoevol8682 EXACTLY !!
you're not even allowed to date/have a GF as a Muslim, that's the first issue đ
It's becoming a personality rather than religion đ
foolish guy , let being with a non muslim
the Christian family here is correct
My cousin dated a Muslim guy, they're now married but they did date for 2 years and she wasn't Muslim
They are santimental muslims they just pick what they like from their religion and throw away what they dont like
@@tweetsypeasy she's not allowed to stay Christian if she's marrying a Muslim. If she wanted to get married to him she has to convert or else she's dumbed
He needs to get out of that relationship ASAP. He should not tolerate disrespect from her family on the basis of 'love' and if she's not willing to really fight for him, then it's not worth it. He needs to heal, move on and find someone who can truly accept him and bring him into a loving environment where he's not constantly worried about external forces disapproving and disregarding his existence
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He should get out of that relationship because those type of relationships arenât allowed in the first place
i mean seems like his family bogus too but
Lol u guys do same with non muslims đ
This is just my personal opinion, but if I were in someone elseâs place, I wouldnât date someone who has an entirely different religious belief or belief system that they sort of follow through. If Iâm gonna, say for instance, spend my entire life with this person, then we must share the same values or beliefs or whatever else there may be. Anyway, thatâs just something to consider when youâre currently dating someone or is planning to date someone.
Values are separate from religious beliefs. You can even be a non-believer and be a truly ethical, moral and overall decent person.
@sophia I completely agree with you, because there will always be conflicting choices whether or not you go to church, pray before you eat, the school you go to, etc. which will sooner or later start to create tensions within the relationship
So what if you really like eachother you won't be with them because you don't have the same belief I find that crazy
Understandable and whatâs even more important is both parents are going to have conflicts with whoâs morals the kids should grow up with
@@_all_around_us it's the same for some community like for muslims.
My wifes family mostly her mother hated me so much from day 1 all because I am from Mexico and not the United states, keep in mind I came here when I was 3 I don't remember anything about Mexico and I've never been back since. I was never truly accepted and a lot of hurtful actions and words came my way. This may not speak for everyone, but you have to be strong and it better be worth it.
Stay strong brother. Sheâs probably a racist and she hates that youâve married her daughter. Protect your wife from that ignorance âïž
But religion and a country is different. Having two people from different religion marrying to each other if they decide to have children it can cause confusion and problems. However, by what you said it sounds like your wife family were racist.
@@AM-mv6ro "Probably a racist", probably?
Religion is way worse than nationality
@@AM-mv6ro Shalom. How's your synagogue doing today?
We should all be respectful of everyoneâs view points but that doesnât mean we have to agree. đ€
Oh Yeah Definitely..
depends on the view points... if ppl think gay ppl should be not allowed then yeah we cant be friends like wtf
@@aprilsanimals6287 We can respectfully have a conversation and make them understand ourselves..
Muslims are not allowed to have gf and bf
@@easilysaidyeah no we canât. Anyone who can genuinely advocate against the existence of a human being doesnât deserve respect at all
Thereâs drama in my family bc of this đ My sis is engaged to a non-Muslim and he decided that he wonât convert. They both respect each otherâs religions. My parents are very traditional, so they refuse to accept it. Itâs been stressful just me being in the middle of all of this lol
Conversion as a requirement for marriage is just weird
Whyy did your parents wanted him to convert tho
Your family are acting like kids. Your sister is an adult who can think for herself so she should be able to marry whoever she wants!
@@karankapoor2701 because in Islam it's not allowed to marry a non-muslim guy .. so it's probably gonna be a civil marriage or something
So your sisters marriage is not valid
you need to think about it in the long run⊠not just if the parents get along with the partner but if the couple will last with different beliefs and also raising children under those beliefs
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This was a cute video but I honestly felt like the audience couldâve asked better questions. Bc the whole thing abt interfaith relationships is COMPROMISE. Is he willing to follow her gfâs religious traditions? willing to let his future kids follow Christianity? And how much is the gf willing to compromise. People also have to understand that belonging to a religious minority (especially under a muslim majority) can lead to generational trauma and a willingness to tie religion to their identity. Would you rlly be ok with your kid marrying into a group that had oppressed you for generations? Just some food for thought :)
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Everyone seems really young in this vid..
Which is not all bad, but I feel like he would've got better advice if they mixed it up a bit and had some more mature people there asking more experienced questions. I've been through what he's going through and while it didn't work out for me, I've seen these situations work for others.
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Being young doesn't mean that you've not experienced difficult things
@@JadaKingdom971 you sound young. Of course it doesn't mean that, but let's be honest, the older you are, the more likely youve experienced different challenges and have enough distance from it to develop the hindsight to give much better advice. I'm not saying everyone there should go, just saying it would bring different opinions
The question is already invalid because dating is forbidden in Islam even if both are Muslims.
i said the same thing, clearly they both donât take their faith seriously
Sounds like the girlfriend still lives with her parents so her parents have some dominance over her. Once she moved out I think they will come around because they are going to want to maintain a relationship with their daughter.
I wouldn't count on it. At best, it would be grudging acceptance, not warm acceptance of her choices. and at worst, they might completely shun her, which in the long run suggests that they will break up eventually, because giving up your entire family for your boyfriend is too much to ask of anybody.
@@martintanz9098 Iâve seen these situations go the other way so it just depends on the people involved
@@martintanz9098 Yeah, personally I would never be able to give up my family for someone, never .
Exactly and even if they dont, he's dating her, not her family - they wouldn't be the first relationship in the world that is based on forbidden love
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My uncle is Muslim and he's married to a Christian woman. They've been married for over 30 years.
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it doesn't seem worth it...as much as you can love someone, this will ALWAYS be a form of stress on the relationship. familial tension really stresses marriages as well :(
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Rashaad did a great job in adding input on suggestions, and his counterparts decision making on the Yes and No scenario. Itâs heartbreaking to throw away your own morals/values in your relationship away due to your religion and family beliefs, but that decision is one that both parties have to reciprocate to one another. Walking away or finding a common ground to make it work is never an easy decision!
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Relationships with religious conflicts almost always fail. Itâs a shame
Especially btw a Muslim and non-muslim
Maybe because religious is a reflection of ur morals and what you believe in? If you don't agree with each other on that, obviously it will fail... not really a shame, just you're not compatible..
@@rheemk1980 i mean, i dont think the fundamental morals differ very much from christianity to islam
@@megan31415 yes they do lol. how come when you go to the middle east, all the girls are virgins and then you look at the USA, all the girls are victims and survivors of something? Lol, that shows a difference in fundamental morals....
@@rheemk1980 itâs a shame because people are letting religion dictate their relationships with others. They arenât able to truly love and accept people because of their need for religion đ€·đŒââïž
Ironically , most of time itâs opposite, muslim parents hate their daughter/son if they have non-Muslim partners.
that's how it should be
and this loser should leave the girl
True
Warents then.
@anonymous lmao if it's opposite?
In Islam itâs okay for the Son to marry someone who is not Muslim because the Wife will most likely follow her Husband.
Ngl I genuinely believe that they should break up. Religious differences in a relationship is the worst thing ever and impossible to solve. Also who knows after the marriage his parents might force her to convert to a Muslim. Therefore her parents have some concerns. Better to just let it go. Also you're not just marrying each other but also their families and family from his/her side can always cause more problems in the future.
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Why would his parents force her to convert to Islam? They don't hate her. It's her parents that hate him.
I don't think that should be a reason for them to break up. Me and my husband had that same dilemma. We're two different religions and his family didn't want to meet me at all and pretty much wanted nothing to do with me. Once I came to the realization that our relationship wasn't about them, it became so easy. It took 5 years and us getting married for his family to actually sit down and say "hey she makes our son happy and he really loves her" for them to finally want anything to do with me. We're all one happy family now that's still of two religions.
This is very helpful. Thank u
@@pammy_land you're very welcome â€
@@terribu93 was he a Muslim?
@@Samy-dr7fu Jehovah witness
@@terribu93 that's fine, wouldn't matter much if it's other religion unlike here in the video he is a Muslim.
As a child of one parent being an orthodox and the other muslim, you can make it work. I didnât have any issues growing up. They each believe their own thing and I was free to choose what I wanted to believe in. As long as there is respect and boundaries, love overcomes differences.
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Yep. Very rare for those relationships to happen, but they do. All the Mus|ÂĄm guys I know are into Catholic wyte chicks.
So what do u believe in just curious if u don't want to say it its ok
@@waterdragon55 i am orthodox
This can only apply to Muslim men and they can only marry women from Abrahams religions.
Religious differences is an immediate no. But seeing his actions it seems heâs not too serious about being Muslim in terms of him dating. He also stated this is his first serious relationship and itâs only been 9 months⊠theyâre more infatuated than truly valuing their relationship. The root of the conflict will likely create more issues down the line. Itâs not worth if youâre just starting now and youâre already stressed.
I know Muslims can marry people of the book but Christians aren't to do so. The supposed Christian wrong too.
Bruh he even said âif I became Christianâ heâs definitely not serious about being Muslim
That make sense bc dating is Haram/forbidden in Islam but having boyfriend/girlfriend is even worse. Coz s3x before marriage is not allow. That is why we Muslim donât date we marry.
@@halalpolice7544 yeah itâs called zina putting that bro was willing to convert his religion over some girl and her parents just to be accepted by them and thatâs a big no no
@@halalpolice7544 you must be fun to be around
Christians can marry muslims.
I'm a Muslim, and this title confuses me. As a Muslim, you shouldn't be dating at all.
Iâm Christian and I know this maybe itâs because I live in the UK
I love that they brought Matthew in for this video. I love watching him. He's such a genuine, sweet guy. đ
âAre you in love?â âI think yeahâ idk it doesnât seem it lol
I love this series! Would love to see some older cast members who could give another generational insight!
I LOVE HOW JUBILEE COMES W REFRESHING CONTENT ALWAYS!it feels so nice to see different perspectives on such a important topic
The concept of this new show is just amazing! Thank you for doing this, Steven and I wish you only the best!
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I am really enjoying this new video format. Whoever thought of this -- give them a raise!
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I was in a similar situation 5 years ago. Her mom eventually accepted me for who I am but her dad was full blown dirt bag and he started posing curfew on her and it became problematic. I had to let go because I didn't want her to suffer. Ever since then I stopped dating completely out here because it's not worth it.
do you think you'll always wonder what if?
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I'm so sorry đ
@@Random-sk6hm yeah, he probably will. but the pros outweigh the cons. the longer ur attached to someone the longer it takes to move on. break up if ur considering it because of family, disrespect, or overarching ideals that do not coincide.
This is the reason why Islam forbids dating. It leaves you emotionally scarred and you end up losing trust in people đ€·ââïž
steven wherever u are- i hope ur doing okay and are surrounded by people who love and accept you and make you feel peace. ur so young and u deserve the best :)
Great episode. I hope everything works out with them he seems so hopeful for this new found love. Rashaad had great points! Matthew offered some great perspective
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This is a tough one. Family is key for both of you, but take time out and work in the relationship and just as much as you are going through these emotions she is also struggling with some of her own personal challenges as well.. frank conversations are key & trials can make you stronger
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*And to avoid this, we should always ask about his/her religion in the first date.*
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they were friends before so they each already knew
I am so confident that you should not stay in a relationship with someone who is not meeting you halfway or putting in the same effort as you
From personal experience you need to know clearly and understand what a person values, if they value their faith or family above you and both parties are not willing to compromise, it just won't work out. Even when the love is reciprocated. You have to be able to choose that person above all things, everyday and forever.
Aside from that, even if your relationship does work out, you will still need to think further down the line because your differences will affect other things like your children and lifestyle, you need to know whether that's something you will be able to handle as well.
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My parents were completely against my Christian fiance and told me to leave the family if I will marry her. I ended up marrying her because that's who I was marrying, HER!
My father didn't speak with me for 9 months, my mother was a champ, now we're 5 years married with 2 kids and my father is in love with his grandkids.
I am a Christian woman with a Muslim boyfriend. I wanted to ask how you felt your values aligned with your spouse despite religious differences? I feel like there arenât many in our case, but my boyfriend is less religious than I am. Do you feel like the religious difference is something you worry about for your children? (All genuine questions because Iâm nervous about my traditional/prejudiced family members lol)
@@kpoplover1901 literally in the same boat as you
@@kpoplover1901 from a purely biblical perspective, you really shouldn't be dating anyone who isn't also Christian
@@ezrachen8976 why? If we look at both the Qur'an and bible, whilst different in many aspects. The values aline quite a bit.
@@s0ne01 but not their beliefs and practices.
marriage is one big example. polygamy is legal in islam while christian marriages are monogamous.
second: manner of attire; there are clothing in islam that, especially women, must strictly abide to.
third: worship; christians and muslim worship different Gods, and they do not have the same worship practices.
lastly: christians and muslims have an extremely different culture and belief set.
these two abrahamic religions went on crusades against each other for a reason
What actually got me thinking was how strong is their feelings for each other? Does he LOVE her? Does she LOVE him? How much are they willing to compromise and sacrifice in the name of the relationship? Is putting their relationship with their families at risk worth it?
They way he answered to the "do you love her?" question made me think that maybe going through all of this isn't worth it. They've been together for not too long, honestly. I think breaking up for some time, figuring themselves out and then deciding if they wanna be together despite everything could be really beneficial to them.
This is very tough and depends on her a lot. Sheâs the one that ultimately has to bare most of the burden. They seem really young to deal this tbh. She has to decide whether she wants to fight for this relationship.
her parent love her, his parents tolerate her. sheâs not the victim
Crazy how mean & wicked religion can make people act towards one another just for not sharing the same beliefs as you do. Does nothing but cause more problems & create more barriers in the world than there already is.
True
Maybe his parents is thinking about what will happen when he has children.
Itâs definitely not religion. Itâs people
Why are u acting like religion is the problem?
@@DiegoMaradona566 because it is.
When I was pondering a serious relationship I wish I had some of these hard questions asked to me like Rashad in the green button down asked. Relationships have to have balance, and you have to notice the imbalance. Best of luck to Steven
this episode really reminded me of my past relationship. i was in a long distance relationship with someone and he and his family are Asian. I had met him and had visits with him multiple times over a 2 year period, and i only met his mom 1 time, which was the first time we met. Well after he went back home from that 1st visit she said we couldnât talk to each other anymore. she made him stop talking to me, and it was the worst feeling ever. We starting talking again, but over the year he would tell me the things that she would say like âher family isnât like oursâ or he would say she liked white skinny girls that had money or asian girls. They came from a very wealthy house hold and i guess his mom wanted someone for her son that resembled them. She met me one time, and i had said happy birthday to her when it was her birthday and i was always nice. She didnât like me bc of my middle class white background. thatâs not fair, she never gave me a chance. then eventually, she made him come home 2 days early and caused a whole fuss. Btw, i wasnât allowed on their property. i have no clue why but him visiting me was the only option. it clicked in me that he was never fighting for me. he let his mom make his decisions and let her ruin our relationship. he didnât fight for me like how i fought for him. btw he was 18-19 when this all happened if that matters to anyone. we broke up in the end bc he couldnât stand and there and watch me get hurt bc of him mom, pretty much.
When you are in a relationship with someone, you are in it for the person and you should be making those decisions bc that is what YOU want, not bc of what your family is telling you to do.
People definitely shouldn't be shamed or feel ashamed because of their religion. In fact, the diversity of humans is what makes us beautiful.
Wish you could tell that to the minorities living muslim countries
@@karankapoor2701 or minorities living in ANY country
@@secretmina23 not all country minorities are treated bad. Bruh
Hard to say when the population are against you
@@ManpreetSingh-kg9os except in muslim countries
They've only been dating 9 months so stop wasting each other's time when you know the answer is to break up
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Yes yes yes breakup! What if she gets pregnant??? Your child wonât be accepted or even worse they could try hurt your child!
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Breakup; religion/spirituality plays a huge role on peopleâs life, and for more people it the center of their whole life. Being respectful of someone belief is a must, it seems like there will always be problems.
I loved the Rashadâs guy! He was so real!!! Great discussion!! Keep these coming!
Wow Iâm a big fan of saint shaad itâs dope to see yâall have him on the show!
I was in a long distance relationship with a Muslim guy, I grew up Christian but then became an atheist/agnostic. As much as we talked about it in the beginning and I thought we were both okay with it, about 2 years into the relationship, he brought up religion as a reason for why it wonât work out between us. There were other factors too, because of the pandemic we couldnât meet etc. But it just goes to show that the religion was still a big reason to him. So, yeah, both people just have to be on the same page completely.
Been in this exact situation, me Christian and him Muslim, first boyfriend, young and in love for over 2 years. It's not worth the drama and outside of this issue the chances of you staying together is very slim. I don't regret breaking up, now married to the most amazing partner and supportive family.
Why is this comment section so depressing? I come from a Christian family, my boyfriend is Muslim. We grew up in different countries, with different cultures but have both spent time with each other's respective families and it's going great! Even if it doesn't work out in the end for whatever reason, we have both grown so much and have an amazing time together, I would never say it's not worth it.
@@KaceyAiram that's great that the families are supportive and you are happy. My situation was constant heartache from having to choose between ones family and ones partner. That is what isn't worth it. Peace>>>>>
Passion. But even so I am fortunate to have both now.
Itâs not called being âsupportiveâ if they are only supportive when you do what they want lol.
@@Mike-xz9dg What do you mean?
Edit: Oh! I got a notification that you replied to me so I was confused. Yeah, exactly what you are saying. I know every situation is different, but I personally wouldn't be comfortable keeping contact with my family if they didn't accept my boyfriend on the basis of religion or race. That's not family to me.
Yâall should really bring this back there are so much things going on in the world now I feel u should bring it back
So nice seeing Matthew from Cut videos, here on Jubilee! Super smart guy!! đ€
In Islam you can't even have a girlfriend, so what the heck is he even asking that question for?.
No dating for women only in Islam, men are allowed to do as they please bcos Islam benefits men only and not women.
@@toxicmaniax5719 itâs Zina, both get 100 lashes
@@toxicmaniax5719 men cannot date. it is prohibited. where are you getting this info from?
@@---345 and yet Muslim men cheat and date the most. If they gonna do it, I will do it. BRB going on tinder to find my African stud for the night like last night.
@@toxicmaniax5719 doesnt mean its halal just cuz they do it???
ooof I feel like this was guided a lot by personal experiences, traumas, and values. it makes sense because that's just life, but it was interesting to witness regardless
This new format is insanely entertaining to watch.
I was/am in a similar situation, but now weâre married and it has strained my partners relationship with his family for sure. You just have to kind of prioritize. Idk if I could make that decision under a year because it takes a lot of time to change the mind of stubborn family members. You also have to be very mentally strong to be in this position and feel attacked.
his final decision does make sense because he can try. if he notices that his girlfriend is still not doing the effort, i hope he knows that it's not worth it to strain yourself and your mental health over others. if their situation does keep improving, that's great! but if not, i hope he remembers the advice from the "yes" group.
I would have been in the yes side form jump. No point going through such grief in such a young relationship at such a young age. How people said no is beyond me.
The best part of these is that we get a follow up in the same video.
Dis new series is great just like the rest of the content on jubilee
Religious difference is HUGE. I would not worry if its a cultural difference...BUT. Puppy love is no reason to stay. Once you've grown this "feeling" will fade...BUT
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I was a little bit annoyed by this episode, because I feel like we didn't get enough information to make a judgment. There are quite a few factors that play into the decision, that were not spoken about. Like for example: He said she showed that she is willing to be with him, but I didn't hear an example of how she showed that, which is why some people in the video and in the comments think she doesn't care or put effort in. So what did she do so far to proof to you that she cares for you? What are his exact beliefs on Islam? How strong is his faith? People said he should not have to change. But he said he might even convert to Christianity which makes it seem as if it is not a big change for him and he said he still tries to figure out who he is, so his faith doesn't seem too strict as in "I have to change my core beliefs for her". What would his parents say about a conversion? How does he imagine his future with her? What are their core values in a relationship? are these values compatible?
so many open questions...
This is my favorite Jubilee show. I love the concept.
Please make more of these! I keep checking every week to see if youâve made a new one!
Iâm Muslim and dealt with the same thing, Iâm not very religious Iâve dated girls from many different cultures and every single girlâs family absolutely hated Muslims, the worst experience I had was with another Muslim family who were Shias and told the girl she would be abandoned if she were to pursue anything with a Sunni Muslim which I am
youâre not even allowed to date/have a GF as a Muslim, thatâs the first issue đ
@@h_does_living bro what are u even a Muslim?
In islam that is prohibited
This is what I've been waiting on! I can relate to this
Iâve been with my fiancĂ© for almost 4 years (in March we get married on our anniversary) itâs been very tough due to the fact that his family constantly tore me down besides his sisters. My fiance chose me and moved out and it got so much better. It wasnât until last weekend that they finally accepted me and called me family. Family can change and decide to love but your SO HAS to choose you first because if not the family will not see how serious the relationship is. This needs to be a conversation.
he shouldnt even have a gf in the first place as muslim đđ
Ennit đđđđđđ
He is a muslim, why is he even dating?
bc double standards exist for muslim men vs women
@@nailbtop no, "muslims" arn't allowed to date regardless of their gender.
@@nailbtop Unfortunately many Muslim women commit the sin of dating as well. Not sure why you're making this a gender thing.
i think sometimes, u just fall in love with the person without thinking of other factors like family, religion and such. people saying break up bc these are deal breakers, yeah i understand how difficult it is to handle and it brings pain but it really depends on how the couple would handle it. some people just really fall in love with people and that's it- some people really take their time to find "the one" and some are lucky, some hasn't. if you really love them, you can work through with it if it's 50/50 and both of you really want it.
these are great, you should make more videos like this!
Iâve been in a very similar situation.
My boyfriend (at the time) grew up in a very strict conservative muslim household. I am very progressive and have my norms and values that could be considered âoutstandingâ to them. I am confidently queer (non binary) and I was buzzcut bald when I started dating him, plus I do have a very noticeable clothing style.
He told me his parent wanted a muslim woman that they picked for him. So his parents immediately did not really approve. Our whole relationship was supposed to be a secret. We could never post on social media (because his mom would find out and get mad), we could never really go in his hometown/ neighborhood (because someone might see us) and obviously we could never chill at his house. Iâve never met his parents and never been at his house ever, and that really hurted. He was always at my place eating dinner with my parents, going on familytrips with us and everything. I was very aware throughout the relationship that I could never have the same. When they found out he was with me, they restricted him from seeing me and told him that he should break up with me. His dad even send him away to another country for the whole summerbreak. The hard part is, I couldnât get mad at him for it because he couldnât help it, even though you want to express your frustration to someone and blame them. I was madly in love with him but that was definitely the main reason our relationship didnât work out imo. Ofcourse there were a lot of other factors, i did my part too. But i think if we didnât have that issue, we could have solved the other problems easier and maybe even be together till this day. I really couldnât bare the fact that I could never be welcomed into their family or get any sort of respect that I deserve.
Did he view you as a woman even though you identify as non-binary
unfortunately, things like religion are so difficult to navigate through. I also have a religious family. Personally, i am not religious , but because of my background, i face a lot of difficulties and restrictions.
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Period that is real love keep fighting for it â€ïž
One of my parents had a contentious relationship with the in-laws (my grandparents). I still do not know what caused it. It didn't prevent us from seeing them but from a very early age me and my sisters picked up on it. It impacted our relationship with my grandparents and that side of the family in general. My other parent was willing to make compromises with his family for the sake of the marriage and our family. This resulted in us knowing my grandparents but really not the rest of that side of the family. I didn't get the impression the girlfriend is willing to even risk conflict with her parents to organize a discussion. It's hard for me to imagine what she'd likely need to sacrifice if her parents do not come around genuinely.
Um hello? Dating is a major sin. Break up, and stop dating entirely.
search what halal dating is
@@hrhrlh There's no such thing as "halal dating". If two Muslims want to get married, they can meet with each other's parents, and get to know each other and ask questions in front of a chaperone. Being alone together is completely impermissible since there's too high of a chance of fitnah.
Iâd be more concerned with the girl potentially getting kicked out of her home. Date when youâre both financially independent because I guarantee money will strain the relationship before family does.
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I like this premise but I hope the next one isnât based on a relationship like â break up or stay together â curious to see this placed on a different landscape
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This one is hard. I agree with both sides here. To me itâs about how much you can compromise to be together, or about how much you are willing to set aside. In my opinion, different religion relationships and marriage is such a beautiful thing to me. attraction and an even dynamic of interest in eachother, aside from beliefs, supersedes here.
I feel like there's 2 things to consider. 1. How important family is to you. 2. Although you ate dating the person and if you do plan on going long-term, the family is gunna pop up somewhere.
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girlfriend and muslim donât mix.. you canât date if ur a so called muslim đđ
he said his FAMILY is muslim. maybe he isnt practicing
They are santimental muslims they just pick what they like from their religion and throw away what they dont like
wait they cant even like? Meet up and do whatever couples do except for sex obviously.
Muslims all over the world have girlfriends/boyfriends. Itâs 2022 not 1669, plus they they might not even hold hands or do anything against his religion.
@@lyallp4589
Not how it works đ
I loveeeee this series !!!
So I'm sort of in the same situation me and my fiancee grew up together and our parents are close and do share the same religion but before we started dating i stopped following that religion and she I told her and she is fine with it and my parents know about it too but if her parents knew about it we don't know how they'll react they might even not let us be together at all so we just kept it secret once we get married we do intend on telling them about it or let them figure out on their own
for me personally, there is no dilemma at all. if it is supposed to be a longterm and serious relationship i see a lot of red flags and toxicity. interfaith is very difficult and more often than not does not work out in the long run. it can work, but chances are slim. it seems family matters to both of them and will matter even more once they get married or are having children. tradition and culture play a huge role. again, it can work, but it doesnt seem likely in this very case. not worth it.
What matters is how much do they love each other. Because I know people who truly loved people yet had no bravery to do whatever needed.
It depends on the priorities.
Blind love can ruin both parties :/
Love is not enough to keep a relationship strong and going.
I was surprised their first question wasn't about what his girlfriend made of the situation. If my Christian family treated my Muslim boyfriend like that we would not be family anymore. Period.
I would say it is not worth it esp since you seem so young.
I'm the product of such marriage. Even tho my parents love eachother to this day and they raised us with love but we were never treated the same by our grandparents or aunts/uncles like our cousins. This affected me and my siblings very much especially because we come from family-oriented culture.
Never change brother.. if the family don't want you just move on..you deserve better...