These People in Thailand Are Not Your Friends!
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- čas přidán 27. 05. 2024
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This video dives into the real side of friendships in Thailand for expats.
I share my experiences and insights about the journey from making initial contacts to developing deeper relationships.
I discuss how different it is to identify true friends from mere acquaintances, especially in an expat setting.
The video provides a straightforward look at the social dynamics expats face, from the joy of shared experiences to the challenges of understanding a new culture.
Enjoy the video? Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments below!
00:00 - Kev in Thailand
00:46 - The Excitement of Becoming an Expat
02:39 - Cultural and Social Differences
04:12 - How to Connect with Other Expats
04:34 - The Reality of Reinventing Oneself
06:13 - Survival Mode and Jealousy Among Expats
08:15 - Warning Signs to Watch out For
12:34 - Final Thoughts on Making Friends Abroad
#expat #thailand #digitalnomad
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@@nedtaylor1983 hey Ned he's only giving you advice that's true it happens in Thailand, phillipinnes, Vietnam too . Take it as gospel
@@nedtaylor1983 Just as you have done now? Hi Pot. I am Kettle.
@@gregmcqueen4540curious but can't see your comments. Please repeat if you don't mind
I don't lend, I don't borrow, I don't lose and I don't owe anyone, always trust your gut.
Never been there and your statement is juvenile.@@josephmessina3587
😊yes😊
Old maxim - The borrower is servant to the lender. Another - Neither a borrower or a lender be … 😎
I don’t get why the f**k would anyone lend anyone money that they don’t even know! Stupidity prevails no offense!
Word up
"Quickest way to lose a "friend" is when you borrow or when you lend."
Thanks for that, mum.
I was raised never loan what you can't afford to give.
Never borrow Never lend and your always have a friend!!
thats really not true! if the "friends" wont help each other to lent / borrow, than thats not a real friendship! so Your friend isn't worth any money to you? thats just stingy and selfish. @@bernardblackman2378
Thank Shakespeare too😂
@@studleyjb3172 Except he never said it (Francis Bacon, maybe), but my mum did.
Brett, your a young man. This applies back in the UK too. All my "friends" have long disappeared. My father told me exactly that when I was 14. Son, you'll be lucky to be able to count your friends on one hand. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. I only realised that when I was 46 (7 years ago), left my marriage and my "friends" were nowhere to be seen.
Truth
Theonly person that really cares about you is your Mum or your Dad….to everybody else youre expendable..
My mum said the same to me back when.she was dead right
My grandma told me the same things ... 💯 True.
I'm a nice guy and have met many good people but most come and go...
@@michaelchristophergutierre7244 people need to grow up….to keep the same friends all through life would stunt your mental progress..if you’ve got a lifelong friend youll know that your relationship just stays in the infant mode…so you just have to move on….parents only see their little children unless theyre simple then they will respect a child’s mental maturity..
I met a bloke in my wife’s province who was a middle eastern man, he asked me about my visa status and said he could get me permanent residency visa and all I had to do was travel to Pattaya with him and give him my Australian passport for three days. F off was my immediate reply and that was the end of the conversation !
As soon as he Said Visa , you should have turned around and run 🏃 fast .
You made some valid points. As an Australian backpacking around the U.S. in my mid 20's, I'd land in a youth hostel and more often than not, go out for a few beers with another Australian I'd met because l thought we may at least have something in common. I lost count of the amount of times we'd be 3 beers in and I'd be thinking to myself that had we been back in Australia l would of had nothing to do with this person, our accent was the only thing we had in common.
America is the most superficial country in the world.
I had a beer in Devon with an Australian….it was an interesting moment..
You're lucky, I never met an interesting Australian.
I live in canada but was treated better in the states. I have nothing in common with average canadian but fit in very well in the states. Im more into the red states not this liberal canada
Travis: I'm always curious as to why when people leave a country that they've lived in all their lives and they get to a foreign country, why do they all hang out together?
BTW, I had an Aussie friend when I lived in Thailand that avoided all Aussies & their bars. He felt the same as I did.
In Cambodia, all the Aussies hang out and drink beer with other Aussies and at Aussie bars. Why not just stay in Australia? Maybe because the wankers can't get laid?
If I find out where the Americans go (another clique) , I avoid that place at all costs. The same goes for Aussies because they don't like "yanks." Why would a person go to have a drink at a place where the clientele doesn't like you simply because of where you come from? One thing about Aussies is that one on one they're OK. More than that, they want to insult you, gang up on you. It seems that they tend to act the same when in the presence of others from the UK, too.
Reminds me of another "ethnic" group that's the same way!
When I lived in Thailand, '02-'13 everybody got along regardless of where that person originally came from except for Udon, where it was a clique expat setup. Myself, I'm easy to get along with and friendly unless someone wants to fuck with me!
The expats that are here now have changed over the last 22+ years.
A mixed bag of advice and some good perspectives. I've lived in 12 countries, ranging from 1 to 10 years, some great, some not so, but the common denominator in all is that I very rarely if ever, carried friends onwards to other countries. I would advise the following ;
1. Don't rely too heavily on those well meaning expats you initially meet who will ' help you through and give you the inside tips'. Discover your location and new culture yourself. Form your own impressions.
2. Don't get sucked in to an 'expat' mode where you attend events that mostly contain other expats. Break out and try local experiences, no matter how strange they feel.
3. Never assume you will EVER be local, no matter if you are 10,20,30 years living somewhere. You are always the foreigner, no matter how subtle.
4. Don't educate locals on how things should be done. Either show them practically, or work with them in such a way that it appears they are the ones making the changes.
5. Treat any invitation you get from a local to their personal homes for any reason with respect and humility. Find out about what to bring and remember to match the cultural expectations where you can.
6. There's always a group of know all expats around town. Male or female, they are there. Stay clear, even if you think you need them.
7. Don't end up speaking 10 words of the local language. Make an effort, it's appreciated. For example, living in Dubai doesn't mean you should punctuate or finish your sentences with the famous Expat Arabic expressions 'Inshallah' or 'Khallas' every time you speak in English. Knowing swear words in the local language is only helpful when you can use them effectively and in context.
8. Alcohol is not a friend. Don't become the stereotypical expat.
9. Make sure you have a will, a blank cheque in the safe and stay away from those expat money advisors who cold call you as soon as they know you are in town. Do your own investments and NEVER give your money to a local either, for any reason, no matter how you think it seems.
10. I took the good from each country and tried to leave the bad behind. I learned more than I could have ever dreamed of, lost connection with my home country after 30 years out, which was sad, but I now live in a country that I am happy in, feel at home and will retire in.
Life as an expat is HIGHLY recommended, but it comes with loss and gain. Be ready to extract what you need from it, stay grounded and remember that corny old cheese wedge ; it's not the destination, it's the journey.
Nice tips!
Which 10 countries have you lived in?
100%
Yes. 10/10.
Great advice. Resonates almost entirely for me. I have, however, carried lots of friendships on after I left countries. For instance, a few minutes ago I was texted by a Russian friend I haven't seen in five years. I think the trick is to avoid the expat drinking crew. I get the feeling most people in it like the drink more than the people. All you have to do to be accepted in that circle, is enjoy drinking. When people leave a country, other drinkers just arrive and take their place. I knew someone who got kidney disease and had to be flown back to the UK. Even though he constantly had the shakes, other expats were happy to buy him rounds. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't know if he's still alive today.
Lol im not a local anywhere. Unwanted and adopted then unwanted. Moved about every 2 yrs all my younger life. Now im older and wanna settle down but ya no town is my home. Locals welcome me in and treat me as local but not my home so 5 or 6 yrs later i disapear. They say stay but not my home and i dont wish to ever over stay my welcome. Be nice to one day find a forever home but ya that wont happen
I'm Thai and I love hearing your perspective on how the nomads in Thailand establish your own community and forming your own culture within the country. As a Thai listening to this is reminding me how big the world really is, even if it just within my own country. Best wish. 🙏👍
thais doesn't want to befriend foreigners. they won't forgive badly spoken thai.
I found most expats don’t want anything to do with other expats. I don’t have any friends in my home country so I don’t expect to any living in Thailand. True friends are rare. The only people whom I think of as true friends are people I grew up with that we know each others family.
Often true. I find many of the retirees are the friendliest
Count me in! Dirt bags that are bottom feeders to me are obvious now.
Well, I would imagine. Wouldn’t finding other expat friends simply defeat the purpose of leaving the native country to begin with??
😂😂😂😂
@@Zambineaux305 No because many people are looking just looking for a cheaper cost of living.
Not sure I agree with most expats not wanting to have anything to do with other expats. Never been my experience. I do find that uneducated weirdos from my home country also tend to be uneducated weirdos in foreign countries so I do avoid those people like the plague
It's not just in Thailand but everywhere. Once we are out of our house , everyone is an acquaintance
I have lived in different countries in Asia, in London, and the Middle East. I have learned that what this older guy said in this video is absolutely true. You really only make acquaintances. Especially with other foreigners. I have had some of them asking me for money. Etc. Plus I had to deal with politics. Didn’t need that. I usually don’t have the need to be with other people. I just don’t. With all my traveling and living overseas I am used to being alone. And I don’t mind. Some people have to be with other people. Otherwise they feel lonely. Well, not me. I don’t get lonely. I don’t. Like ever! It’s not about the quantity of friends that’s important but the quality of friends. Less can be more.
Same here, I had a wife that left and my son grew up and left home after I raised him 12 years.
I was very lonely at first, but Once you get used to living by yourself an traveling alone, you start not to get lonely anymore.
I also think the best rule of thumb is to find your purpose here before going hunting for friends. That purpose will be the catalyst to being around the right people for you.
That is true. Very indeed. May all of you here have your hopes and dreams bring the happiness in your life, no matter which country you retire in.
I only lived a year in Thailand, but I lived 8 years in Germany and 5 years on Ibiza and I can absolutely relate to everything you say, it happens and it happened to me, you have to be sooooo careful who you associate with!
I mean this is normal in normal life too. Adults should already know this by the time they move to another country
@@FSVR54the difference is that in normal life you are in a racially heterogenous environment. When you’re in a racially homogenous environment, you tend to stick out like a sore thumb. Every where you go people look at you with either curiosity or as their own personal lottery. In the states I don’t walk around with a target on my back. When I visit China it’s very clear I’m the odd one out.
@@DewTime Fortunately mainland Chinese don't seem to be very good at hiding their intentions. Scammers there are very easy to spot.
While still a young boy in my high school years, my father had this same question for me. "How many friends do you have? But... are they REAL friends? Can you count on them or are they acquaintances?? Turns out we actually make very few friends. Most are simply acquaintances - circumstantial at best. This is true for ALL COUNTRIES.
exactly lol. I don't know why this conversation is directed at expats...like did you not experience regular life in your home country before moving as an adult to another country?
@@FSVR54 So, the complete conversation with my Dad was, if an angel came to you at the end of your life and offered you extend life years if you could name just one friend who (at the end of HIS life) also named YOU as HIS lifelong friend - then HE too would receive additional years. If they did not name you - then years would be removed, etc...
It makes you wonder who your friends really are and what they really think of you as well. By the end of my college years I began to realize that REAL friends are extremely rare and mostly do NOT exist. They are what I call 'situational' friends. "Real Friends" are ones that can look into your eyes and FEEL your pain and make it their own. Who really does that?
So, I live and travel alone. My MOST and BEST REAL friend - is myself. As narcissistic as that may sound - for the sake of survival, Dayenu. Tazel Mov.
I disagree. I taught at a university where students from all over Africa came to study. They lived cheek by jowl with each other for four years. They studied together in the day, then played football together, then ate together, and slept in dorms together. I was shocked when I contacted them a year or so after graduation and asked about their friends. Universally none of them stayed in contact. They had their contact details but had no idea what they were doing, what their jobs were, etc. Cultures really are different. The same is true of Chinese students. They leave uni, get a job and start a family. Their uni life is in the past and they don't tend to bring their friendships with them. In the UK people meet up with their uni friends throughout their lives.
@@paulwally9007 I don't see your disagreement. All you have said agrees with the premise stated here - NOT that there aren't acceptations. There will always be acceptations to any rule especially culturally. How many couples get married and raise large families only to later divorce and never see each other again in their entire lives.
For me, it is a great sadness. I have ALWAYS tried to stay in touch with both friends and family. But, after a few holiday conversations on the phone are met with, "Why are you calling me??" you just give up.
My mother too was a wonderfully gifted social person but she was also met with the same nonplussed response over the years.
Europe is a little different - culturally - and they TEND to stay in touch more. But, that too is changing in todays' "world culture" of disconnection and narcissism.
The only answer is to not let it affect you. Recognize it for what it is and move forward. I met a loner mathematician once. He rarely socialized for any occasion and I asked him how he did it. How was he able to stay so isolated? He answered, "I have a lot going on - IN HERE" then pointed to his forehead. Besides, you must establish a relationship with yourself before you can have a successful relationship with others.
@@paulwally9007 it depends on the person really.
I’ve always been more of a loner. I have “friends” but I am not close with them. I save my close relationships for family. I prefer to go out alone and enjoy myself on my own terms.
Rarely will I accept an invitation to hangout with someone. If I want a companion, it will be with a lady. I’ll sit with guys only to watch a ball game or short chat. Acquaintances would be a better description of the people I know.
Some may think this is a lonely existence or odd, but it works for me, and I find comfort in it. He gives good advice here, but it really is just common sense and having your wits about you.
Yes ofc
You’re not alone.
Nobody has any real friends
@@user-is5bs8qb4y actually he said he prefers to be alone ha ha
My 10 years as an expat have taught me these things: 1) you can be friendly with everyone, but friends with very few of them. 2) Ask yourself this, would you be friends with the person in your home country? For me, usually the answer is no because my beliefs are often opposite of a typical expat. 3) the only reason we truly become acquaintances is because we are in the same boat. We rely on each other for our own sanity and survival. That being said, I hate big cities and my experiences are usually in cities with far fewer expats. In my 10 years, I have one true, diehard friend that has seen us go through thick and tin. Once other expat "friends" have moved on, crickets can be heard, with an occasional "hey man, what are you up to?" chat. Actually, the strongest "friendships" I have developed are with locals. Even those have waned to chats occasionally, versus the deep conversations we shared when I was in China.
well said. we can be polite and professional. we make aquaintances. thats not bad. as we get older we will have a few close friends and thats about it.
I learned this in my last country the hard way. I thought that people who lived in another country for more well-rounded. I should have learned when I met Peace Corps volunteers who were nothing but show off when I was still in the US . Fast forward that I move overseas and I had already made friends with locals but I wanted to get out more because my local friends decided to sit at home . I got in with the wrong crowd of expats who were not there for good reasons. They do nothing but gossip gossip and there have been constant attacks on the ever since . I have since moved on it but they have not.
It was never that I didn't try to make local friends. I actually had local friends and continue to make others. But when they do who I was hanging out with they would come after my friends.
If you can get past that, local friends are definitely the best to know. Just avoid the one that are too much wanting to get out of their country or be like your country. Also avoid the ones that always want to talk about politics. The same rule that we have in the US should apply worldwide🤣🤣🤣 and yes. Every time you meet somebody asked if you would be friends with them in your country.
Going forward, I am trying to avoid most expats because many are just troublemakers.
Totally agree I'm in China now and true friends I can't even count on one finger. But if they want something 😂 your friends.
@@petermavrenski6602everyone now
I think Y'all are disappointed cos you expect too much.. how about you be someone's friend instead of expecting other people to be yours and just roll with the punches.. life is temporary anyway, just be grateful for the good times and stop whining so much. 😅
Truth. I’ve been here 21 years and I’m leaving for all these reasons that you have clearly explained. I regret the last 10 years of making excuses and rationalizing staying on because of the comfort and convenience, which is ultimately deadly at the end of the day. The only point I disagree about is the guy who doesn’t communicate with his family back home - there is a high likelihood that he escaped toxic situations and people and made the right decision for himself. I respect people who make a clean break and discover who they really are.
It isn't always the expat. Many many people have no choice but to get away from toxic, abusive crazy people at home. I come from such a "family of evil narcissists and despite years and years of sincere love, effort and generosity have always been met with ingratitude, ridicule, theft, lies and cheating. I finally had enough and only speak and interact with one sibling.
If and when people ask I tell them the simple unvarnished truth. A man's enemies will be those of his own household. Matt. 10:36
I stopped trying to have friends years ago because I realized most people are too imbalanced, too needy or too greedy.
And having lots of friends or family around takes up way too much energy and takes away from creative pursuits etc.
I am my own best friend!!!
That's my situation. My life has become very peaceful since I separated from my family. I have a clear mind and less stress. It's easier bow to pursue my goals without interference or sabotage
@@user-eu3qy8uf7f I was quite introvert as a child and could very easily amuse myself.
As I got older I opened up more, found it easy making new friends, my door was always open and so was theirs.
After years of this I had enough tbh, I needed more peace and quite in my life so swung back 90% to my root DNA and am embracing that introvert within me, life has certainly become far more relaxing and I'm so grateful that I really enjoy my own company.
I still have some of those friends, most I don't bother with often but it's nice that way.
I don't or at least very rarely, get caught up in nonsense like drama etc.
I do have a Good family relationship though, although I never get too involved too often, this probably helps in that respect.
Yep, your right, I have the same problem with my toxic family.
They constantley cause trouble, they use you, dont pay money back,
slander your name behind your back with lies,
and even stole my million
dollar inheritance.
Nah, Ya Cant blame a guy that wants to get away from that.
@@marcusmccloud8394This. x10. I emigrated from the UK nine years ago. Central Europe is home now. Peace, sanity.
Worked in Thailand several times and have one golden rule. If they are into the whole bar girl thing, drugs and/ or on the piss, then avoid. BKK is a huge city and has all the social levels as back home.
dont lump us weed smokers with hard drugs users, alcoholics, and whore addicts. Some of us are cool people who just prefer a smoke to a drink
My golden rule is avoid weed smokers
yes😊
lol@@Ken_oh545
@@user-ub5qp8sq1w you are a total clown if you think that
100%. I recently am visiting Thailand and met up with my Cousin who I havent seen since Covid. Within 2 days, he was asking me for money. He was looking to invest thousands with this American he met in Thailand for a few months. This guy convinced my cousin that he was some millionaire back in the USA and was looking to build a business in Thailand. I met the guy and my BS radar was going off the charts. As a Entrepreneur myself back in Canada, none of his backstory made any sense to me, and his knowledge about business had many holes. I told my Cousin my concerns and that he should not be giving the rest of his money to this shady character. But my Cousin is absolutely convinced that this guy is legit, and would never betray him, and got mad at ME for even questioning this guy. Now my Cousin gave this guy the rest of his savings, without any insurances or protection, except blind faith that this American is going to pull through for him. Its a disaster waiting to happen, and im expecting within a few months that this guy will rob my cousin blind, I will say "I told you so", and bring my cousin back to Canada with just the clothes on his back.
Cousin sounds like an idiot
what kind of business?
@@jpants5144 Jet Ski Insurance.
You are right on point! I have traveled around the world and lived in various countries. I avoid any communities with large expat numbers. I found that expats don't leave their prejudices, biases and negative baggage in their home countries! I prefer to associate and live among the locals in any given country.
Same here --When I go to Thailand I love the locals in the country --Not the big cities
Absolutely 100% agree with your comments Kev, which after 24 years here I’m heading back home to good ole England, never made any friends here, sick of the leeches and in my case they are mostly Thais asking for money. The weather and my health was the main reason for staying ,but I now miss home and can’t wait to get back to the humour😊
🤣🤣🤣
Could you share what happened back in Thailand regarding the leeches? I'm Thai and I'm quite interested in your story about your time in my country.
Dee: Why do you need "friends" in order to make your existence complete? A lack of self-confidence, maybe?
Back to the land of "bad weather and bad food"!
@@skipperclinton1087 Dress appropriately and the weather/climate is fine for many people, Good food is not an issue when you can cook and enjoy doing so.
I like the UK and have travelled around quite a lot of it, also Ireland as I live in the North of it anyway...foreign places ain't for everyone I guess.
My wife and I went to Tenerife almost 30 years ago, that was enough.
We tried to get a plane home after one week but they wouldn't let us change the tickets, we were there for two.
The last week we hung out in Irish and English bars in the evening as it felt more like home 🤣
A small group of my single mates are all heading out to Thailand soon for a long holiday so I've been watching many videos about it, it will be fun when they come home and I ask them, "did you go there" and what was this or that place like...plus I'm curious what all the hype is about anyway; I have a better idea now.
@@petersutherland1985 where's the source for this?
Kev in Thailand was a bit of an institution in Pattaya. He had that charisma and was a real character. Sad that he passed away. The points you make are bang on. Best to keep them at arms length
I hadn't followed for a while, when did he die? What happened?
People NEED to hear this. This is something that a lot of people don't talk about or forget to talk about. The dark side of not only Thai people but other foreginers as well. I like what was said at 6:35: Some people go abroad or somewhere to try to better themselves, but not everybody is truly able to better themselves (I'm paraphrasing).
Be wary of people who left the home country because they burned all their bridges.
Real,honest refugees who fled persecution are a group of people on their own.
Economic refugees who go somewhere to get rich are predators. Those who go for a better class of poverty are not.
This is Florida in a nut shell. "Florida Man"
@@sumdude4281 It is many countries,including Thailand, the land of the free,and America, the land of the free,and Australia,the land of the free,and Denmark the land of the free. Basically every country a certain group of people who are repressed got to, to recreate the repression they left.
@@martinsaunders7925 'Basically every country a certain group of people who are repressed got to, to recreate the repression they left.'
And bring nothing but misery and take everything they never paid for.
@@secondchance6603 I see you understand.
The only wise thing to do while in a foreign country is.....
just interact as normal but be cautious at all times without showing visibly....
Be nice, be humble, immerse the culture, stay out of trouble and mix with more good people.... You will be fine.
That's how I survived 12 years abroad ✅
You from the West don't even believe in yourselves because you live in such societies. There are places, countries where there is always safety, good people, culture, and when you see it, you don't believe it exists. My country is like many countries in Europe. And that exotic country somewhere in Asia is not even close to civilization, and it won't be.
I have been an Xpat since 2009. An Xpat must learn to walk alone. Very rarely does one meet someone that becomes a real friend. You must always stay vigilant and be careful of who you share company with. The advice gleaned from this video conversation is the real deal.
A new subsciber and well said, you have hit this topic on the head and as an Australian expat living and working in Indonesia and now Thailand, I meet these people all the time. I'm generally an easy going guy and recently married to a Thai lady, but you always need to keep your guard up unfortunately with other foreigners regardeless of where they are from. The world is a crazy place people.
I learned a long time ago I have no friends, just acquaintances. It's sad to say but I trust no one but myself, not even family. I have just returned to UK, was staying in small town in khon kaen. I could count the number of falang on one hand. I made zero effert to talk to any of them. The last thing I would ever do is lend money to any of them, not one baht. It's quite lonely but I prefer my own company, at least I'll get interesting conversation. 😊
Excellent advice - I found out within a year of first living in Thailand. Mistakenly tried to 'help' a newbie Expat and they just kept asking (and expecting) more and more help with all things they were doing or thinking of doing. Took a bit of effort to get rid of them too - they just refused to 'go away'. I actually moved to a new place just to get away from them and even blocked them on p[hone and Line and email. Not interested ever again in 'helping' anyone else in Thailand - got a couple of 'mates' I have known for years and that is it.
Yes yes for sure
I’ve had this experience here in Cambodia. Unfortunately, me deciding to put distance between me and scrounges, clinger ons, e-beggars, people living in fantasy land and other general drains on my energy, causes ill feeling on their part and on occasion, an unpleasant atmosphere. Best avoided in the first place.
@@htee7426That’s exactly why I don't go out. If I want to drink, I buy my alcohol and drink at home!
@@htee7426... e -beggars ?
Everything that you said can be applied anywhere in the world. Even in your home country.
People will always be who they are, no matter where they are. At this point of my life, I only have few true friends who will be there for me, and I will also be there for them when there's a hardship. Choose your friends wisely. Great insight 👍
I am an American who has been living in South Korea for over 20 years. Yeah, weirdos are easy to spot. Be safe everyone!
weirdos are easy to spot anywhere in the world...because they're weirdos lol
Well put!
Im planning on moving to thailand in 2025 to teach (my first time living so far abroad) and videos like this are invaluable. Thanks! Please make more like this to save me from any naive mistakes!
Brett the thing you said about the SAS is absolutely bang on the amount of guys walking round Pattaya claiming they were in the SAS 😂😂😂 like mate even if you were in the SAS do you think this Thai woman you’re chatting up even knows what the SAS even is I sat next to one guy in Soi buakhao telling me he was in the special forces but couldn’t tell me which branch he was in.
Every guy you meet used to be a wealthy ladies man.
Shit loads of Walter mitty's here in Thailand, I served 26 years in the British army and 1000000% ex special force's DO NOT GO BRAGGING ABOUT IT, these dudes will have made/killed many enemies all over the world, there is no chance in hell they will broadcast the facts of there past
He could'nt tell you the branch he was in because he would have had to kill you afterwards.
The amount of special forces guys I've met in Thailand is ridiculous. There must be some secret treaty between Thailand and the rest of the world to ship retired special forces guys straight to Thailand 😂
Bret I really like your channel and how you look at things. For the most part good people have the same type of behavioral tendencies . Look at these few things in people
1. Look at how they treat others
2. If they just randomly lie
3. If they talk about other people behind their back
4. One thing I do in general. I will loan them money but not much. because i know most likely, i will not get it back. I look at like this. I just got rid of that person forever. They will not bother me again. 10 dollars is not much to get rid of a problem lol
@@anthonysmith2295 lol thanks bro
I once lent a leech of a'friend' $50 for bus fare - I gave him $80 so he could go further away - best investment I ever made
@@Darryl_Smith I shall now call these loans...My Forever Loans! Because I aint gotta see your arse again aka forever gone. lol
I find not loaning even a small amount often gives the same result. They either avoid me, are gone or turn out to be alright with me to one degree or another.
Lean the local language and be self sufficient; befriend with locals when you are comfortable with the culture. Never rush a friendship or relationship, sit back and observe.
It is the exception when an individual, genuinely, has one friend.
The vast majority of people conflate 'friends' with 'acquaintances'.
Acquaintances are a commodity. Friends are extremely rare.
The above is not exclusive to Thailand...it's universal.
@elgar6743 Well said. Absolutely true. 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
this reminds me of a time back in 2005 when i was in Kuala Lumpur and met a guy who claimed he comes from Robben Island in South Africa; the guy was engaged to an African lady he met in KL, she's from Tanzania.. The lady even told me that she sometimes talks over the phone with his mom back in Robben Island :). She had no clue that the island was a prison and is now just a museum.
As a South African myself i could easily tell that the dude is Nigerian who has not spent a lot of time in South Africa and probably just using an illegally obtained passport.
Oh my goodness. This is the same in all the countries I've lived in for multiple years at a time. It takes quite a few years to separate the fools and frauds from the honest down to earth real people.
Warning signals to watch out for from other foreigners living abroad.
1. Someone who assumes familiarity after talking to you for a short time.
2. Someone who presses you to share contact info.
3. Someone who in conversation lets it be known that they have access to a huge amount of money (this is to implant and image in your mind that they are wealthy).
4. Someone who presses you to share where you get your money and how much you have.
5. Someone who presses you to buy land / go in on a bar / buy crypto from / with them.
The list could go on and on. There is a line in a Bob Dylan song that goes ‘been shootin’ in the dark too long, when something ain’t right it’s wrong, you’re gonna make me lonesome when you go’.
When you feel that something ain’t right, it’s wrong. Take the message and get away from that person.
very well said, mate. I was SO naive when I moved to Europe from the U.S. and later Miami..and later was on the road. I learned a great deal and wouldn't want to have missed those opportunities but man... I should have trusted almost zero percent of the folks I met.
I've watched my wife live this experience in the US as a Thai living here. She is very wary of her fellow Thais. She feels everyone is out for one thing only. Money. It's a good instinct. She does have a few Thai friends here because she is very selective.
She is right to her instinct ! Thai ladies are always wary of one another.
Sounds like my wife, exactly the same here in my country
This video is absolute FACTS and TRUTH. People from western countries abuse the word "Friend" so much that they don't know what it really means anymore. When an American says "My friend" they really are saying "That person was nice to me" or "That person said something that made me feel good" You can't travel around the world while thinking everyone is your friend.
I've upset a lot of people by not calling them my friend because they haven't qualified yet.
Anglo-saxons... Never had an anglo-saxon friend. After 30 years working with them. Lots of acquaintances, but friends none. Very lonely souls. I believe their base religion is too individualistic.
@@marcoprolo7318may be they saw no value in having you as a friend alot of people are like that not just Anglo-Saxons
@@marcoprolo7318 where are you from, out of interest?
Thank you for your advise Brett. This is classical experiences for whom living in abroad. I'm a thai woman who's been living many decades in Europe . It 's the same old story to make friends. If you are new there, you'll be happy to see your mate with your home country because you are still naive. But as long as you know them from various backgrounds and differences lifestyle, you would rather live alone with your family. Nowaday it's easier to connect your best friends at home or anywhere.....but if you find good one ....keep them. Look on the bright side of life.Good luck.😊
Great advice. I like the way you laid this out. ‘People you meet aren’t your friends, they’re acquaintances’. In truth, the only honest friend you have is yourself. I’m getting ready to travel, and I’m digesting as much information as I can. I’m glad I saw this. Thanks Brett 🙏🏼
As someone who has lived full time in Thailand for 15 years I have to say this is one of the better vlogs I have seen. I live in a rural area and rarely rub elbows with other foreigners but a few of your observations hit the nail on the head. In Thailand, I have almost never met retired service people who worked in routine tasks, they are always ex SAS, ex Navy Seals, ex Delta, ex Blah blah blah. I found it shocking when I first came here how people would clearly lie with no shame, and no remorse. Unfortunatly I would like to say this behaviour is limited to either Thais or Foreigners but truthfully it is not. Now that I live in rural Thailand it is a bit better but to be honest, not by a lot.
I can't think of anything more vulgar than pretending to be something one isn't. I know one an ex-QDG officer here, but that's it.
Kev was very correct. A nice guy and sadly missed.
Sex Pat with some nasty attacks on other people
Kev was a true Gent and the 1st Thai channel I got into. He was lucky to have Thailand Rob as a true friend who was with him through Kev's health struggle. Respect to Thailand Rob. RIP Kev
The Thai friends I have do not live in Thailand and nor did I meet them there. I met most of my Thai friends in HK but also in the UK. A Thai 'friend' in Thailand is an acquaintance.
One of the best Thailand 🇹🇭 videos I have watched, honest and informative 👍🏻
Just stay to yourself. Stay out of bars. Live by yourself. There are plenty of things to do in Thailand without having to worry about idiots.
Sounds a boring life m8
@@Ardoyne10And you sound like another expat loser!
This video randomly popped for me and i have LEARNT MUCH MORE than i expected!! Thank you for this content.
This is true for most countries, not just Thailand but the Philippines and other countries as well. Unfortunately it’s really hard to make real friends. Most people are superficial friends, they are into the same things you are into. But if you go broke or have big problems how many will stand with you.
It’s probably easier to make friends with the locals. As they are naturally very friendly and kind. But even then unless you’ve been there forever there will always be some sort of divide.
Great video. Love the honesty; keeping it real.
A little from the past .
In the 60's and early 70's
The place alot of people congregated was at either overseas visitor clubs , Like the one in Earls Court , or at the American Express . There were messages
Posted and info shared .
Alot of people just hung out . There was a real mix . Older , younger ,
All nationalities , beatnik
Hippy types , fresh faces Japanese . Another place was the local laundromat . Life was
Alot more easy . People's
Adventures were not video streams . They talked and shared .
In Asia and specifically SE Asia, you need to invite people for dinner in your home if you want to be friends...otherwise you re juat an acquaintance
They too would then invite you to their homes
Its best when you move to a location to hold a party and invite neighbors
Giving food is a sign of friendship...like picking up the tab once in a while
That's crazy I am not inviting a bunch of strangers to my house. Would you do that in the U.S. in these times? Maybe invite a few neighbors out to a nearby restaurant for lunch and decide if you want them to come to your house in the future once vetted. They may be crazy, drug addicts or broke leaches.
@@cathylake9072
Thats the difference in culture
ever heard of dinner parties? it's very normal in the US lol. At least in latino culture. You clearly are not very American@@cathylake9072
Nothing of that help you to get „friends“! You want a true friend? Get a dog!
@@hasnanhashim4386 No it is human nature anywhere in the world. Broke people or those on drugs do desperate things. You do not invite unreferred, unvetted strangers to your home especially with your wife and kids there, what if someone robs and kidnaps you? Can barely trust people you know much less those you don't. Many expats are running from something in their home countries and or going broke so that is why they move to the 3rd world. Too many desperate broke locals also. Get to know people BEFORE inviting them to your home. This would be a great horror movie or who done it. New neighbor goes around the neighborhood and invites all to his house warming. Could be called "House Warming" or "Come One Come All" or "Expat." Thanks for the idea because I really would have never thought any adult would invite complete strangers to their home when they have no frame of reference or knowledge of their history. CZcams is great to get new ideas when you have writer's block.
SAS veterans.
In America we get the same scenarios,Viet Nam Combat Veterans, the majority of whom were A-Tunnel Rats ,B-Door Gunners.
I don’t feel this way after living in the Philippines for over 15 years. We live in a community where we all know each other around us. We socialize, party & attend the many custom events that take place, weddings, deaths and holidays. 💞
Where in the Philippines, if you don't mind sharing? I've seen the drama of Dumagete, so curious where would be a better place to go?
sorry not my cup of tea.....
Yes! Especially in the Philippines. They are overly friendly, always talk sweet to you and give their fake smile, always pretend to be innocent, extremely polite, humble and religious for no reason. They always talk shit behind your back and just love to take advantage of Western men.
That is being friendly. There is a huge difference between being friendly and being friends. Nothing you just details describes these people as being friends. Just acquaintances.
Wow, almost sounds like ... a community. Didn't know those still existed.
Thank you very much for this information,hopefully people watch and learn❤
Very proper & well formulated sound advice indeed, well done Brett!
This was great! I liked the topic And I like how you put in your digital nomad skool in this video the best.
Great advice full of wisdom based on experience. For those of you new to living abroad or considering, take every tip in this video to heart and mind.
yes, so true
This is some solid advice right there, thank you for the heads up man
What a brilliant and informative vid! great stuff fella. Subbed!
Good points here, but as someone that is 29 living in America, all my "old" friends eventually stopped talking to me and was left alone. Someone told me "Sometimes your day 10s will be more important than your days 1s" and I didn't get that until I got older. I started making a lot of money THEN my old friends slowly started talking to me. They never cared when I was at my worst.
I'd honestly rather go abroad and meet new people with that small chance I could make friends. I realize you don't need to have friends for life, it's okay not too. It's okay to have friends for a few months and just keep in touch every now and then.
I experienced this in Germany as well, but not that often. In Thailand and many other places elsewhere you find such people. I never lend anyone money after a bad experience anymore and myself I never asked others lending me money. This gets only trouble and I had to learn this in the past as well. Getting in touch with other people is easy, if you go to crowded places. But these are, as you said, aquaitances. You can have a nice time, and in most of the cases you must move on. Near all of them will travel onward, you will not see them in the future. This said, act like the situation. To be homest, I can not understand that there are people giving other people they don´t know some thousand $. But I think this happens, you read it from time to time. Or some of the "good friends" visit you and rob you. It is the same like the Scams on telephone from India or Pakistan. You can lose all your money. With this: Don´t show you have money and don´t lend money.
Great advice Best way to lose friends is to loan them money
If you lived in Germany, you maybe heard the German saying: Bei Geld hört die Freundschaft auf. 😅
Great advice!! Keep it coming!!
Thanks for this video! Great advice 🤍
Excellent post, absolutely correct. When you meet and greet people on holiday everyone's in a holiday mode, exchanging holiday experiences with each other. Your happy, excited and always agree with each others dialogue.. However your not really seeing that person in the real light, you don't know what there like in there own country. You don't know anything about that person, so you need to be careful. Ex pats you see everyday are more reliable but again don't get to friendly.
Well said!
I'm in Chiang Mai from beginning of February for 3 weeks...I've just bought a house in San Pak Waan, Hang Dong, so hopefully we can meet up sometime. Take care and God bless 🙏
Great subject that I've never seen discussed anywhere. You also have to look out for the locals as you're a prime target.
My standard response is: "I'm not a bank. Go see one if you need money".
As you've explained people try anything to keep "the dream" alive when they should have returned home long ago.
Yes, there are a lot of shiffty scumbags about that will roll you for a few bucks.
This is a very insightful video, and it highlights how important it is for people to remain vigilant and never let their guard down, especially when it comes to their money. Keep doing what you are doing.
Truly appreciate your honesty and frank divulgence which are extremely useful. Thank you so much for your sharing which is invaluable.
I laughed out loud when you said there's a ton of weirdos in Thailand . I made
my first trip
to Thaialnd (I'm a Taiwan YTer) and we encountered a lot of odd foreigners, I mean A LOT! Man do we have some stories! haha, great video, no wonder this has blown up, congrads!🎉
Makes so much sense. I always thought meeting a brit in thailand or wherever was a good thing but ive learned valuable lessons. They arent your friends be aware.
Great video with goods insights. The jealousy thing and being asked for money is really relatable and sometimes it's exhausting.
You have nailed it mate, 100%, great vlog Brett
You should put expat relations in your title...but good points... I went to Cambodia and Thailand so I have been reflecting on meeting the natives there...and being blown away at how nice everyone was and everyone was smiling all the time. While I understand it can be considered part of their culture as manners, but also a large percentage of the population get their living from tourists.. so it benefits them to be super nice and friendly but most prob do not have any interest in being your friend ...as I found myself getting attached to many natives because they were so nice lol
I loved the comment "there are a lot of SAS retirees here." Same in the US. You meet a lot of former Navy Seals but rarely a Navy cook. HAHA. Also, my rule of thumb is, when ever I go somewhere new, I never make friends with the first person to say Hello to me. They are the desperate ones.
Thailand does have a lot of mercenaries that come here.
I've said similar to people going off to university; 'The people you are friends with at Freshers week, won't be the ones you are friends with when you graduate.' Initially, they're all thrown in together, all too enthusiastic about it. Slowly they realise most of them are idiots.. Some UK universities want the Freshers to live in Uni dorms on campus, so they can feel their way around under the Uni umbrella.
@@terencejay8845 My daughter did this for her First year before finding a group to share a rental with, in her 4th year and three rentals later, yes; the group has changed from her initial dorm group and even her first rental.
The dorm idea worked good for the First year until she got a Good grasp of things, leaving home was a little exciting but somewhat terrifying for her to begin with.
FaceTime was handy though and helped a lot, she could see her beloved dog she had since she was only ten years old.
The dog's been just fine though 😆
Truly eye-opening short clip.
Wise words Brett, great video
Bang on with borrowing money, I did it to a French guy I worked with, in Thailand, he kept fobbing me off every payday, I got angry and a Thai lady who worked with me told the boss, payday came and he told him his wages and then said and you owe him xx - so you get this now! His face was a picture he walked off and then payed me + what the French guy owed me! Thanks Mr Sumai 🙏❤️🙏
"Wherever you go, there you are."
Many do want to change, but few do.
As an American emigrant to Peru (+40 years), I agree with this guy.
My mother once told me that if you find one true friend in your life, consider yourself fortunate. I have four. The only reason I visit my birthplace is to see my true childhood friends and family.
Here, I have no true friends, only acquaintances.
This guy knows what he is talking about.
Good point. It's the feeling I had in the first place. Problems is, most don't speak Thai, so it's just too easy to be alone and feel lonely, unless you find THE woman, but even this is hard. Thanks
There's definitely a lot to take away from this video. Most of it I agree with. I do think due to the possibility of loneliness and wanting to find a "tribe" so to speak, we tend to move people up to friends that should be acquaintances if we have not been somewhere for a long time as an expat. I've been guilty of this myself plenty of times. Also agree that you can run into a lot of weird behavior abroad, especially in SEA. Big agree about lending money too, I've turned down people I've known for years it was an amount I was not comfortable with losing.
What I don't fully agree with is relationships back home. If someone has been away for a long time, there's a very real chance that relationships from home are going to fade besides core family members and closest friends even if they are a decent person. People grow apart because of these life experiences and not being physically present hurts these close relationships. I can definitely understand a decent person not feeling like they can relate to people back home after years on the road. What I think should be a red flag here is if there is legitimate hatred on both sides, then that's a problem.
Can you elaborate on "weird behavior in SE Asia". I want to travel to Asia (not move) for the first time this year. Might make a trip to Thailand/Japan
Thank you so much for an advise !!!
you nailed it!! This is what i can't agree more
Really good blog and I agree 100% with everything you say and I could say / add a lot more. I've lived 14 years in Isaan and have got to the stage where I don't want to mix or meet any more farang. I have two really good friends and we all agree to the same psyche, which is most farang are either skint or on overstay and live in fantasy world.
I've lived here for just over 4 years now and I agree with you 10000000000000%
I don't have friends here, only acquaintances. I have a family tho, so it doesn't really affect me.
N.B: If you live in seedy areas like Pattaya, beware. So many scammers, criminals and just over all bad people live there.
Very well said mate! First time I have seen your videos! I should watch your videos more often!
Wise words. Good to remember wherever you are.
Everything you said I totally agree,So true x
Good Video Brett. So So True.
Just found your channel and I like your advice. I subbed and will be watching more after my morning hike
Excellent, helpful tips! THANK YOU!!!
Good video, for people coming to Asia for the first time, this is essential
I think true words- the vast majority of people you meet overseas there's that 'foreigner abroad' commonality which can imitate genuine connection.Then there's the complete nut-cases which I met so many of I began to spot certain patterns of behaviour & avoided like the plague. Then just like back home, if you're lucky, you'll run into those absolute diamonds of people you'll click with & become lifelong friends. Maybe I got lucky (I believe I was), but I have expat friends I've known for over a decade who I still keep in contact & meet up with. Regarding making new friends abroad I'd advise to be sceptical, but avoid being cynical, there are good people around
Thanks brett this was a very important educational video
Great video, very insightful.
Asking for money is always a big red flag, even if its just a few bucks or a cigarette-wide birth.
Yeah that is very true.
A cigarette?
You don’t want to really trust people that spend a lot of time in the bars.
Among the best advice on youtube . Thank you 😊 🙏
Hello there ! Nice to see you still there after all those year !