How I Learned to Love Being Alone (and how you can too)
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- čas přidán 11. 04. 2021
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This is how I learned to really enjoy my alone time.
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Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I help people build themselves physically/mentally through fitness and self help videos.
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watching you is like watching a boy slowly go insane at the reality of life. Psychologically analysing yourself to paralysis... slowly losing everyone around you because you're a bore to be with because you lecture everyone.
Hahaha awesome comment
This Doc must fun at cocktail parties
as a doctor, you should know when someone gives negative comments, they themselves don’t have self love! You feelin bad doc?
Is this a cry for help
I love how Cole pinned this comment! 👍❤
Love ya man! You're a true inspiration
“It is better being alone than being with someone who makes you feel alone.”
Self-love and self-care is the highest type of love ..don't waste it on a person who make you feel bad in yourself
I had this in my most recent relationship. I'm thankfully I now have this time to develop myself that I've neglected for so long!
Definitely true. I have noone I really care about around me right now and they have made it clear they care about me less. I feel much better about the situation when I don't even try to interact with them.
Exactly. When I were people around me, I feel extremely lonely.
Yes
I learned to love being alone when I realized everyone is only pretending to be positive because that is what society demands, but on the inside they are all miserable.
I know what you mean...Learning to love being alone is one of the greatest gifts you’ll give yourself!
I actually just published my first video on how the London lockdown taught me to love being alone. You should check it out! :-)
Thats that Bruce Wayne mindset, you’re totally right
Boom!
Nah. /
A thousand percent true and there's nothing we can do about it. People will continue to be fake-happy and expect you to be a robot as well.
As an introvert, i clicked on this at the speed of light.
You're not alone. Flash
@@emmanuelimumolen8660 +1
You're not alone~
Like, I can't be an introvert and not okay being alone yfm😂
me tooo... i was always taught not to stay alone cz it makes you insane but this lockdown alone days has made me mote sane..
"A wise man can always be found alone. A weak man can always be found in a crowd.” - Bruce Lee
Loved it
its facts
❤️❤️❤️
Bruce lee had friends, ones that helped him so much in his journey
wow, i feel boosted. My introverted soul feels ecstatic
12 critical things you should never tolerate
1. Unhappiness at work.
2. A long commute.
3. An unhealthy lifestyle.
4. Draining relationships.
5. A disordered living space.
6 negativity.
7. To much stuff.
8. Financial problems.
9. Living out of your integrity.
10. Living without fun.
11. Accepting ignorance and inertia.
12. Lack of communication.
Facts.
What do you do about unhappiness at work? I’m not unhappy per say, but I’m making $13 an hour and I’m 23. That’s not terrible for my age obviously or in general, but it’s be cool to be making 20+$ if possible lol
@@StrafezLIVE try your best to find a way to make more money. You might have to take an xtra qualification, do some work in your free time that will help you gain the skills for a better job, or simply keep applying to other things.
I'm facing all of this. Fuck this life
@@leandrofernandes285 you can’t give just yet my friend hang in there you got this man🗣💯
The best career advice that I learned is don’t ever attach your-self to a PERSON, a place, a company, an organization or a project. Only Attach your-self to your mission in life and your PURPOSE. That’s how you keep your power and keep your peace!
How do we find our purpose?
Not to jump on you but that's really not a healthy mindset. You WANT to be attached to people, it's normal and healty, but you should NOT be attached to the outcome, that's a bit different. :)
@@yungmau9258 Try anything and everything that sparks your soul. Until you stumble on what resonates with you the most.
@@druuiden 🙂 appreciate everything and attach yourself to nothing.
yassss queen🔥
if u already know ur purpose then u'll gonna see what's real in this world... some of ppl here still sleeping
hope they find their purpose too 🙂
Im 20 and I've always been alone, no relationship, no friends and I tried so many things and learned everything by myself.
- electric guitar
- cooking, baking
- doing sports: football, gym, running, dancing, horse riding, shooting, fencing, swimming, freediving (these last two are my love)
- meditation, breath hold exercises, practicing lucid dreaming and mindfullness
- playing the piano
- drawing, painting, crocheting, sewing, knitting
- video and photo editing, photography
- spending time with my dog
- reading books and articles of all kind, writing my own book and translating
- learning languages (I speak 4 now)
- doing exercises to improove my skills, like memory
- gardening, taking care of my plants, wandering in nature
Many of these things are part of my daily routine and Im doing the rest regularly too. Ive always had serious problems with self love and being alone, family issues, I have struggled with self harm, depression and suicidal thoughts in my whole life, but its been over 2 years already since my deepest point ever and I'm really striving to change and accept and love myself and really love being alone.
You should definitely be proud of yourself 👏
😊 find one is not impossible
@@rajeshnvijo-dj7dk what should I find?
There is one issue.
We cannot always remain alone in our lives. Humans beings are social beings and they need each other to fulfill their needs. They need each other to express their thoughts and feelings.
How long can you live this way?
You've also admitted that you've struggled a lot with depression and suicidal thoughts.
It gives me this feeling that you're sweeping it under the carpet!
The way to resolve this is not by ignoring it.
We have to face with it in its natural way.
If family members and friends have hurt you a lot in the last couple of years of your life, then the solution is not staying alone but trying to find the right people for yourself.
It was never supposed to be easy in this modern life.
Of course by staying alone and having enough time to learn more languages in your life, you can still feel good and positive about yourself. But there's something incomplete here.
You can't fix your car by going to a dentist or vice versa.
Everything, every problem has its own solution.
To be honest, it's gonna be a much more difficult life for you if you wanna deal with problems like loneliness like this.
@@Matin1999_unique but how am i supposed to find the right people? I dont even know where to look
Last month my ex-girlfriend walked out of my life with my ex-bestfriend. We just bought a house 6 months ago in a new city, 4 hours away from any family or friends. I'm taking care of it on my own now and I've been reading a lot of books on stoicism and more recently started listening to the David Goggin's book "Can't hurt me". (Highly recommend for Cole's viewers). I wanted to say that happiness is a choice you have to make everyday irregardless of the external forces you are being subjected to. You have it within yourself to be that person you dream of being. End everyday by truly saying "I did well, I had a good day." Then each good day will become each good week, and each good week, will become each good year, until eventually you can say you have a good life.
jezzs bro.....what the heck..... sorry... but ive been there sadly too
Damn, I wish I resorted to channeling my energy for positive change like pursuing higher studies, joining some fitness club, charity works and alot of self improvement during the breakup period. It was a tough time and I made bad choices. My ex went back to the ex partner and we used to live together. Almost the same stuff and it was very difficult to handle at that time. Quit my job and went on a self remorse mode for years. That was 4 years ago. Just in 2020, I finally learned to accept things. When I get sad, being still alone, I learned to shift my mind to the things I learned to love like animals and nature. I just wish I dealt with it sooner. It seemed so difficult at that time. You are very strong to have to figure that out. Sometimes we wait for reconciliation or just an apology but learning that some people actually never feel guilty for hurting you is a lesson learned the hard way. God Bless you
This is one of the reasons I fear relationships. The thought of my girl leaving me for someone else is hard enough but to leave for someone I know and even worse a best friend, to me is unbearable. My condolences
Perhaps calling another human being “ my girl” (equating it to ownership ) isn’t the best way to approach relationships. Nobody wants to be owned, and would definitely run away from that mentality 🏃♀️
@@ernestgutierrez6428 actually a lot of women do like that
A man who lacks purpose distracts him self with pleasure.
What you mean to say with this one ?
@@Wilson-PT comfort zone
I feel attacked.
Bro quote them at least.
Damn 222 likes. This quote is legit me
Being alone has a power that very few people can handle 💪🏽
You’re completely right about this, it is like a superpower eh?! 🦹🏽♂️
Lol it’s not a power.
I love being alone
@Lucia Tat Today, I drove to the theater and bought 1 ticket for a Yogi Berra movie, and prior to entering I smoked some wax and enjoyed my own company while I was the only person in the theater room.
I love going to the Manhattan and people watch and enjoy myself to attractions and food while I chief on some mary Jane. Absolutely great time. I love being single and hanging out alone. I have about 2 3 great freinds who we occasionally go out together to catch up but we all have our own lives. I give myself alot of self care and love and many things fall in place including careers and love life.
@@MrBUGS713 it takes strength
I love being alone but hate feeling lonely. I feel the loneliest and the most misunderstood when I’m surrounded by a bunch of people that I don’t really like or have a connection with and find it difficult to find people who want to connect on a deeper level.
This statement is word perfect for what I was trying to express.
Me too. Going through the dark night of the soul has you feeling like this. Can't even pretend to blend in or do small talk anymore, I need deep connections or nothing
Yes I want connection on a deeper level
This are my lines!! I wonder how it will be like if our type of people grouped together through instagram and we will be the no toxic people (good and kind people who got rejected or betrayed or stabbed).?
Friends are like shadows, they're at your brightest moments, but gone at your darkest moments.
Those aren’t friends. A person is blessed if they have one or two true friends and they are there in your darkest moments.
I did this for years I wish I didn’t have to get out of bed to pay my rent after so much money was stolen from me. I’m very content with living alone. It would be helpful if I could pay someone to help me when I need an extra set of hands or if I could live in a reasonable place. I have problem with being alone doesn’t pay the cheapest rent I will never live with anybody again, they take me away I hope to die
One man, 5 tortillas? Get up and exercise for no reason?
Real
Not true ones
The confidence you gain from learning to love your own company and be okay okay with being alone, is what will attract a lot friends to your life.
For sure
Better than toxic company that drains you prefer loneliness
Oooo yeah very true, great point’
I know what you mean...Learning to love being alone is one of the greatest gifts you’ll give yourself!
I actually just published my first video on how the London lockdown taught me to love being alone. You should check it out! :)
That's so true and actually so very attractive.
Sometimes having 2 or 3 close friends isn’t so bad but being alone is great, cause some people are meant to be in your life forever while others just change and drift away and that’s okay.
If you can count your friend group on one hand, but those friends are true, then that's all you really need.
You sound like me but you aren’t me wtf
Same thing happens to me & all of us we try make everyone like us & accept us but it’s not good to go seek other people approvals
And there 2 types of friends the good ones that motives you to keep moving foward to keep training and the toxic ones who says you to drink and smoke
The fact that I needed someone to feel happy sucks. I don't wanna rely on anyone for anything honestly I wanna make sure I adore myself with and without people!
It's been a struggle being alone after ending a 12yr marriage. It's good to hear that it's ok.
stay strong life can be hard sometimes but wish you all the best mate
@@A-gs5yg Likewise my brother
I hope you are okay, bro, take care🙌
Stay strong
Every sincere person in this world facing difficulties in his/ her lifeeee
Over the years, I ignored the negative feelings of "being alone". I used my extra time, energy, and money to advance my career, study nutrition, exercise, etc. What was the result? I had a fantastic career, made a lot of money, retired early, am very healthy and fit, etc. What about those close to my age who had girlfriends or wives during all of this time? Almost nothing good. In debt up to their eyeballs, children that went bad in drugs or alcohol or other troubles, children that want little or no contact with them anymore, etc. And how do these "married with children" people look now? Most look horrible. Years of stress and not enough sleep took its toll on their health and appearance. Do you not know that the majority of successful singles never go through a "midlife crises" when they hit their 40s or 50s? It's the married people who make up this category. A midlife crisis for a man happens because he wakes up to a huge mess in his life and family- decades later. With face in hands he says to himself "How did I get in this mess?" Stop thinking that the missing link to a happy life is finding a mate.
-Don’t wish it was easier; wish you were better -Jim Rhon
Whats your IG mate?
@@ungax4591 temzzo or temzzofit
Jim Rohn is legend. Mentor to Tony Robbins. Better than Tony
being alone is my favourite feeling, you learn you and it’s easier to work on your goals
This is very true💯✅
Usually my favorite feeling as well
Yuhh
@@ColeHastings o my dear friend if you want to know more about yourself plzzz search acharya Prashant video u tube 🙏.
God bless you 🙏.
Thank u 🙏
The pandemic completely changed my life, I realised so many thing about my life!
I actually just released my first video about how the lockdown affected me and what I learned from being alone. You should check it out. :-)
I used to have a close friend group in high school and we all drifted apart after graduating. I've learned over these last few years trying to force everyone to get together and failing that it's best to get comfortable with yourself and not trying to be with other people. You don't need other people to enjoy life, it's just icing on the cake
Same thing for me. I finally realized no one else wanted to get together. Not everyone remembers the past as fondly as I did it seemed. So, instead of questioning myself with things like "what's wrong with me", I changed it to "fine, I can do other stuff even on my own". I gave myself the power and do not worry about those past relationships any longer.
@@dt8787wow bro you re so strong your words gave me positive energy like ITS FINE RELAX LIVE UR LIFE
@@user-jm3hh3cf1b Being single gives us the full freedom to get right with GOD, to build into existence once lost relationship, between GOD and creation, between PARENT and child.
1 Corinthians Chapter 7 KJV
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
this world presents love as lust, and if you`re not always touched, then you are not loved = lies and fear propaganda. All of it because the MK ULTRA PROJECTS from masons.
John 15:13 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
And being ALONE (not on your own) does bring forth sober mind.
What I have witness in my short life so far is, souls get together for money and because they are bored and the 3th reason is, the pressure of peers and older generations. “People around me repeated daily, get married and have children and move out, so I did. Am I happily living after? NO, i`m bitter, angry, sad, broken, in fear, heavy leaden, in darkness, always in somewhat contests with people around me, who has something better, something more and so on…, I succumbed to the fear of the opinions about my life of others, thats the hurtful truth.”
KJV Bible says;
Matthew 6:31
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Luke 12:22
And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.
Matthew 6:25
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
I've lost so many people in my life especially this past year, I mind my own business. I've become a lot more selfish because I used to be a very selfless person. The reality is I'm 100% okay with being alone. I've never struggled with it because I've gotten to see what humans with hate and selfishness are capable of. It gives you perspective. I don't miss anyone and I love it. Having your own path, building positivity and working towards it is what counts. It took me a long time to learn this but I'm glad I finally did learn it. Especially with overprotective parents. Know the difference between losing people and making time for yourself. Or go do something you really don't what to do by yourself fuck everyone if they don't want to don't be scared of self growth.
The truth is being with lots of people usually puts you in situations where you don’t feel good. Great video idea
Learned this in my teens
100% bro
I feel the same way
Yes, that's true
@@ColeHastings me too bro, it fucked me up at that time but I’m getting better
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone," by Blaise Pascal
Gd one
damn so where are all my problems coming from...? :'(
Being alone is the best thing that you can do to get ready for the next stages of life. You learn to love yourself, spend time with yourself and do productive things you like. Trying to get into a relationship just because you don’t wanna be lonely is a big mistake. I‘m 27 years old and most of my life I did everything by myself not relying on a relationship and now that I‘m married and I have a lady just as mentally mature as I am makes me feel so happy that I made the right choice. It’s better to be alone than in bad company and regret it later.
Over the years, I ignored the negative feelings of "being alone". I used my extra time, energy, and money to advance my career, study nutrition, exercise, etc. What was the result? I had a fantastic career, made a lot of money, retired early, am very healthy and fit, etc. What about those close to my age who had girlfriends or wives during all of this time? Almost nothing good. In debt up to their eyeballs, children that went bad in drugs or alcohol or other troubles, children that want little or no contact with them anymore, etc. And how do these "married with children" people look now? Most look horrible. Years of stress and not enough sleep took its toll on their health and appearance. Do you not know that the majority of successful singles never go through a "midlife crises" when they hit their 40s or 50s? It's the married people who make up this category. A midlife crisis for a man happens because he wakes up to a huge mess in his life and family- decades later. With face in hands he says to himself "How did I get in this mess?" Stop thinking that the missing link to a happy life is finding a mate.
I grew up very isolated so I didn’t know this wasn’t normal. I did EVERYTHING by myself and now I struggle being around people sometimes especially groups. Not sure if I woulda preferred it the other way around or not but I absolutely love being by myself, has made me hyper introspective and very aware of my mental state and emotions.
How do you handle a work place environment?
I think I can relate, I guess that's why while I see the value in being alone, I think there's also value in spending time with others.
Same
The opposite feels horrible, probably best you had it reversed 😅
Practicing self-love and self-care is the key for all your problems because why would you greive and rely on someone to love you when you can actually give yourself the ultimate amount love you need?
Im going through a painful breakup and I've learned the hard way but trust me, you need nobody but yourself.
I know what you mean...Learning to love being alone is one of the greatest gifts you’ll give yourself!
I actually just published my first video on how the London lockdown taught me to love being alone. You should check it out! :)
you can practice self love and self care without isolation.
100% agree. I got dumped yesterday by my boyfriend of 4 and a half years, but before him and while living with him, I loved being alone. I know the pain I am going through right now is temporary, but there is no better feeling than 100% loving yourself
@@MrBUGS713 point being? Tf what does that have to do with there comment
Being alone can be dangerous for me, because I suffer from depression. I realized, I was always happy when I had a girlfriend because it distracted me from my own internal thoughts. But, I find that being alone gives me a chance to improve myself, always learning from past mistakes. Since ending things with my last girlfriend a few months ago, I feel like the heartbreak that stemmed from that has really allowed me to improve a lot of things in my life, allowing me to grow into a better person. I don't regret anything in life. I see everything as a learning experience.
I feel the same way. But it can get hard at times because of isolation a man can be tempted to watch porn all day. This is one of the greatest enemies.
Over the years, I ignored the negative feelings of "being alone". I used my extra time, energy, and money to advance my career, study nutrition, exercise, etc. What was the result? I had a fantastic career, made a lot of money, retired early, am very healthy and fit, etc. What about those close to my age who had girlfriends or wives during all of this time? Almost nothing good. In debt up to their eyeballs, children that went bad in drugs or alcohol or other troubles, children that want little or no contact with them anymore, etc. And how do these "married with children" people look now? Most look horrible. Years of stress and not enough sleep took its toll on their health and appearance. Do you not know that the majority of successful singles never go through a "midlife crises" when they hit their 40s or 50s? It's the married people who make up this category. A midlife crisis for a man happens because he wakes up to a huge mess in his life and family- decades later. With face in hands he says to himself "How did I get in this mess?" Stop thinking that the missing link to a happy life is finding a mate.
@@BicycleForHealththough I’m not a man, Im a woman, but I’ve met so many idiots Im considering this option, because relationships has caused me so much stress Im starting to feel better when Im single and not in one at all… the only bad part is, I dont really have close friends, I dont have siblings and I worry whats going to happen when my parents get really old. I will have no family at all.
@@chankero4776 I understand your dilemma. But having children doesn't guarantee that someone will be there to take care of you. My grandmother had 6 children. She outlived 4 of them. The remaining 2 children did a horrible job of taking care of her. Neglect was at the forefront. Instead of rolling the dice with children that most likely will not take care of an aging parent, a person would be better off investing that money. The gains can be used to live in a decent place in their golden years and eat good food. This is the opposite of what you will get with most children! Most people don't care. They just want your money and property after you die.
1. Take care of yourself in healthy ways (cooking, workout)
2. Have a goal you’re working on ( find something you liked as a kid)
3. Mediate, read or journal you’re thoughts (change you’re mindset on how to view you’re time alone)
Too much self care is what makes everyone lonely
Went around chasing people who weren't meant to be in my life, was exhausted felt depressed, but now I can tell that i've overcomed that! I never regretted what had been done because it has taught me alot of lessons in life.
For the few people seeing this i wish success and prosperity on you all 💪🏾⛩
Be blessed too ✨✨
Rakhasan?
You too man!!
Read a quote the other day "alone doesn't have to mean lonely"
Love it
This is true, people often confuse these two
Don't ever expect anyone else to complete you, such as a girlfriend. Too many people go about this sort of thing in the wrong mindset, thinking that they need someone else in order to be happy. You must first love yourself, upon which everything else will fall into place.
I agree! It makes u look weak, desperate and thirsty expecting a girlfriend to complete u and make u feel happy. U definitely have to love urself 1st and take care of urself.
@@dennismolina9033they are times when I'm happy being single and alone and other times were Im feeling lonely and desiring to have a girlfriend really bad.
@@dgxkeyboards4535 i know that feeling! That feeling comes and goes! It's like when ur in a relationship, the girl can have ridiculous high expectations of u, it's like ur just a warmup until another better guy comes along.
@@dennismolina9033 I think it's also how society sells you being in a relationship. In commercials, movies, rom coms make you believe that finding that special one will make your life complete. But at times I've learn from other people experiences that they end up worse getting married.
@@dgxkeyboards4535 i know! It's like in the beginning, ur in a lust honeymoon stage but then later on, the real trial begins! Most of the time, people are not in love, they're in lust
I love being alone. It took me into my 30's to embrace it though. I always felt alone even in a crowd. I remember seeking out quiet, lonely places, and these are the places i've always felt most comfortable. I fought it for along time. I used to feel like i was missing out if I didn't go out to a bar, or hang out with friends. After a bad breakup, and something i perceived as a betrayal by a friend. I cut out most of my closest friends. Haven't talked to them in years and I've never been happier. I have a few friends that I love, and they live out of state which is perfect. I have associates that i'm friendly with, but i don't consider them friends. Now I can't wait to be alone. I like to find my own spaces, such as my bedroom, or my truck, or any place I can just be me. There is nothing better than being alone. When I'm not alone, I think about being alone. I love it.
There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely
For me, i don't see any difference
I am alone and lonely and it is unbearable 😔
@@benigabor7300 Being alone is by choice
Being alone is choice being lonely is a situation!
“Some steps to be taken alone. It’s the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be.”
Bro that's like your 3rd comment, we get it lol
And he took that personally
What a beautiful quote!
Being alone has always been the biggest fear I’ve ever had and life has forced me into having to be alone and it’s definitely been very rough. Not sure I will ever get used to it.
Why has it been a biggest fear? Is clinging to people beneficial? I think if one is happy to be alone it's a blessing. One can do many things without any interference from others.
As an introvert, I'm most comfortable when I'm alone at home. I was married for 38 years, single in a relationship and currently single and not dating. Dating is unenjoyable to me and I find being around people draining for the most part. I love the peace and freedom of being alone at home in my cozy, comfy, clean, organized home doing whatever I want. I even hate now when I get an intrusive-feeling knock at my front door and most of the time don't answer. I guess that makes me a hermit now, but I'm liking it more each day.
I have two large dogs that I love, so technically I’m never alone. We never have arguments, they never complain and they always have my back :)
I hated being alone, but during this pandemic there are times that i had to be alone for more than two weeks at a time. One important thing I learned during that time is: you cannot truly love a friend or any person before you can accept being alone. Before the pandemic, I hang out with people everyday; I thought I loved them as friends, but I found I really just used them to not be bored or even to get attention. I did not respect the people I hanged out with, and I didn’t really enjoy the times I spent with some people. Now that I am completely alone and accepted that I am alone, I found myself only going out when I love them as friends as people. And I, in turn, felt respected in a deep way from them because they felt that I simply like them as people and not because I wanted to party or get attention. This actually happen more than you think, most people that I look at have this problem.
Ive been living like that for 2 years. Cooking for myself, going to gym, learning guitar,playing football,travel, everything alone and i think this was the worst time of my life and i dont even want to remember it. Now i connected with old friends from school, we travel and do fun things together and i finally feel like im alive.
That sounds like u are lonely n need constant validation from peers
Humans are social creatures and we are not ment to live alone
As an introvert myself, I do need friends, but not toxic friends
A wise man knows to choose quality friends over quantity friends
The moment i moved out and lived alone it was the best feeling ever, im a lonely person, my parents always thought im a failure and always forced me to be around people which i hated, no they have no say i don't really talk to them anymore, im happy.
I know what you mean...Learning to love being alone is one of the greatest gifts you’ll give yourself!
I actually just published my first video on how the London lockdown taught me to love being alone. You should check it out! :-)
To be honest, since quarantine it’s been hard to really understand why I kept to myself even more. I struggled and still kinda struggle with being single and being alone, but I’m starting to realize that putting time into the things I live is supremely better than being popular or going out all the time. Immersing my life into working out, nutrition and soon electric guitar is changing me for the better and I welcome all that comes my way!
You only need you my friend coz if you looze you.. You'll loose everything.. Take care
Today i realized i have no real friends and i had a breakdown bc i don't have friends and then i had another breakdown bc i realized how much i rely on other people for happiness. I just want to learn how to be happy by myself
Once you find yourself alone you automatically attract the right persons in your life as friends and your life improves whether your are alone or not ! Just stay positive 😉❤️
As soon as is get through the storm ALONE that’s when all the homies wanna reach out 😤lone wolf gang 💪🏿💯
Haha love that
I thought I'm the only one with this mindset until I came across your channel.
That’s what I was thinking...
I've been alone for 5 years. It's great! I have no stress, and I'm in great shape, I'm better than ever. Great video.
I am also feel better if I'm alone because I can do all my stuff without being instructed by someone. And being alone is different from being lonely because alone is your own choice of company for yourself while lonely is longing for someone's attention. Tya!😁
the best thing is having a quiet place to work without people screaming like crazy
The premise of this video will most likely be my entire life. No child, not married, and with how crazy the world is today, the future isn't looking great to change those things. We came in this world alone. We leave this world alone. We really all need to take care of ourselves. Cant make people like you, or want to stay with you through life. It amazes me that kind, caring, and loving people are some of the loneliness in the world. Ever see how homeless people are more caring and giving then the wealthy who have a lot more to give.
Over the years, I ignored the negative feelings of "being alone". I used my extra time, energy, and money to advance my career, study nutrition, exercise, etc. What was the result? I had a fantastic career, made a lot of money, retired early, am very healthy and fit, etc. What about those close to my age who had girlfriends or wives during all of this time? Almost nothing good. In debt up to their eyeballs, children that went bad in drugs or alcohol or other troubles, children that want little or no contact with them anymore, etc. And how do these "married with children" people look now? Most look horrible. Years of stress and not enough sleep took its toll on their health and appearance. Do you not know that the majority of successful singles never go through a "midlife crises" when they hit their 40s or 50s? It's the married people who make up this category. A midlife crisis for a man happens because he wakes up to a huge mess in his life and family- decades later. With face in hands he says to himself "How did I get in this mess?" Stop thinking that the missing link to a happy life is finding a mate.
@@BicycleForHealthI’m 19, and this is very helpful advice. I’m also a Christian so I put all of my trust in Him and I am surrounded by His mercy and grace! This advice is just the icing on the cake, thank you ❤🎉
@@afrofaeries You are welcome!
My parents passed away a few years ago and now I live alone at the age of 35. It is so lonely, overwhelmed and it is hard, i don't know how to be happy living alone. Still learning how to be happy alone. Yes but working out at home does make me happy. And I volunteer at this place from home which keeps me occupied. So I am trying to get used to living alone. Thanks for your video and tips.
I was “lucky” enough to be in a relationship with my ex during pandemic. I was 5,5 years with her and spend almost 9 years in relationships. I realise the answer is not to drink, not fill the gap with friends, not to eat unhealthy and not getting busy. Its just me, my dog and me. It’s scary at times, it’s sad even more often but I finally think a bit more clear. I have times when i’m alone and just happy and I finally get to finish projects I tried to finish years ago. I know learning something is hard but always worth it, learning to be alone is hard. But I started meditation, working out, gardening, cooking healthy for ME, slowly starting to study and I’m just a bit proud of myself - I thought the love of my life left me and first I was jealous of her. She hangs out with loads of friends but then I realised we are both introverted and I never tried being alone after a breakup - and I never found relieve before. This time it doesn’t matter how great she was, I slowly start to see the love of my life is me. Thanks for your video’s and positivity.
how are you feeling today?
My problem with your comment is that you see friends as 'filling the gap', but if you have real friends I believe that they can enhance our life meaningfully. Having people you trust and can be 100% real with should even better our connection to ourselves in my mind
The way friends 'fill the gap' is, based on your comment, the same way a dog does.
Maybe it's really the type of friends it's all about. They can be people who treat you with love and respect (dog and real friends) or people who disregard your feelings and only hang out with you for their own pleasure (fake friends)
And by the way I do not mean to attack you in any way. I'm just someone who tries to make sense of life. And right now my focus is on what friends are and what they're for. And I just really don't want to accept that they're just another meaningless way to distract ourselves from our pain
I have no friends and I don't get girls but I'm the happiest I ever been 😃
Cope
Me too
@wungamingo x-D jeez, shut the fuck up!
It’s so important that you’re consistently addressing this topic for the loners gang out here. I relate to everything you said. I have few but really good friends, but they’re all in different cities and countries so i haven’t been able to meet them in person with the pandemic. We text everyday but that’s just not the same, so i’ve been feeling lonely at times. I had to move back to my hometown after losing my job in another country and i don’t have anyone here, and i’m sure many others can relate. Focusing on myself has been soo useful to keep feeling accomplished and productive. I’ve been cooking a lot, reading a lot, going out alone or with my family, enjoying my time with my pets, exercising so much that i pulled a calf lol. Regardless of the rough situation, i’ve never felt more confident. To be comfortable with our own company and to not need external validation/attention is the most powerful achievement. Sending a hug/a pat/peace fingers/whatever to anyone out there feeling a little lost. You’re never alone in feeling lonely. Be your biggest fan. ✌🏻
My experience with "friends"is they will lie,cheat,steal and harm you,so that is the reason I for one don't have any friends thankfully.
A few month ago I (23) broke up with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 6 years. When we started dating I didn’t know how important his words would be for me one day. At the beginning he told me that I have to be happy on my own and just with myself because otherwise the relationship could not work. And that this relationship is a safespace to grow as a person. So all these years we had a live together but at the same time I lived my live alone. I loved being alone and i loved being with him. Now after the breakup I realised how important that is because I could process the breakup much better and it’s not like I lost who I am. There is so much stuff I enjoy alone, things I don’t even want to to with somebody else and now that I am talking to a lot more new people I realised how rare this is in my age group... the looks people gave me when I told them that I go for four hour long hikes alone, searching for a nice place and fall asleep in the forest :D
We don't need any friend living alone is best and most powerful thing 💪
I’m so proud to be an introvert. Too many fake people out here nowadays that pretend to be your friends while low key none of these clowns call or text you.
Then call or text them?
Of all the CZcams videos I've seen on being single, yours is perhaps one of the most upbeat and positive. I love how 100% of your focus is on bettering yourself, as it should be. Keep on keeping on Cole!
I know this was posted a while ago so you may not see this comment Cole, but this was an extremely helpful message that I needed to hear today. My depression caused by loneliness was cripling hard today and kept me from the gym but I forced myself anyways. Had a great session. Then I watched your vid and I feel more re affirmed in my new circumstances.
This channel is so underrated and underappreciated it hurts.
I've been going through being dumped and eventually ghosted situation which is really hurtful but I'm working on myself and your videos have been very very helpful today after being good for a couple of days i suddenly feel this heaviness in heart and anxious watching this helped thanks 🙏❤️ keep making these videos they really do help!
"Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay".
This is the video that I didn’t know I needed. I’m on a journey of finding myself and self love right now. I feel exactly the same as you described at the start, I am nothing without a partner or friends. thank you so much♥️
There needs to be more videos like this. Thank you so much for making one on this topic. I really need this in this point of my life.
A couple years ago I was alone basically 24/7. I went to school and went home and was by myself all day mostly. I would be alone but I was fine with it. In the past 6 months I’ve been dreading everyday especially when I’m alone. I don’t know how my mindset changed and what caused it but I’m struggling to fix myself because I don’t have a clue where to start or what to do.
yeah same. it gets so boring. how are you doing a year later now?
Being alone is better than having fake friends
Thanks for sharing your story on choosing to be alone. So glad I found your channel. I am also introvert and love my own company. I have dreams that I'm still going for so I'm being selfish with my time.
Being alone is fine, but animals NEED intimacy with at least 1 person. Otherwise they will get extremely depressed. You need someone to hug no matter what to be mentally sane. Even if its just a pet.
No wonder there’s cat ladies
Is it time for me to adopt a pet? 😫
@@trippytrellis7033 really good idea. Dog would be very grateful with rabbit right.
Not true there are solitary animals who aren't social that spend the rest of their lives alone like leopards and bears.
animals? we are HUMAN BEINGS.
I've been alone pretty much my entire life. So much so, that it's actually making me awkward now that I have to interact with and be around people.
I learned to be alone when I was 11. I was scared staying home by myself but when my parents separated (they're back together now) and I became a latchkey kid, I had to depend on myself, so I developed a fierce sense of self-reliance, typical Gen-X that I am. Even through high school and college, if I had trouble with homework, it would not even cross my mind to call a friend or classmate to ask their help.I'm just the type of person who has to do things myself. So nowadays I'm happy to be alone even though that goes against the norms of society. My favorite phrase has become "I'm a happily single man!" I don't want to be married. I don't want a family. I realize that I would be an awful father and husband. Not because I would cheat or anything, but I'm too selfish to share my space and life with others. I crave privacy to the point where even staying with relatives in a large house I will feel cramped and cranky in a few days. Height of my social life was in college when I had a large group and we hung out a lot. But then we graduated, many of them moved, got families. I moved myself, and I'm sure there are a few who cut me off because of politics as well. For the first time in my life, I have the strength to say, "THEIR loss, I'll find other friends." As soon as I stopped caring (or at least stopped obsessing) what others think of me, the easier it got.
i dropped out of school and lost all of my friends, I began to fell lonely after a few months and I had the mindset that I needed lots of friends to feel happy in life and go out with them. After watching a few CZcams videos it actually helped me a lot. I change my mindset into "I don't need friends to be happy, I can make myself happy" the more I said that to myself the more it became my reality and now I love being alone but I also love being around family and other people.
Over the years, I ignored the negative feelings of "being alone". I used my extra time, energy, and money to advance my career, study nutrition, exercise, etc. What was the result? I had a fantastic career, made a lot of money, retired early, am very healthy and fit, etc. What about those close to my age who had girlfriends or wives during all of this time? Almost nothing good. In debt up to their eyeballs, children that went bad in drugs or alcohol or other troubles, children that want little or no contact with them anymore, etc. And how do these "married with children" people look now? Most look horrible. Years of stress and not enough sleep took its toll on their health and appearance. Do you not know that the majority of successful singles never go through a "midlife crises" when they hit their 40s or 50s? It's the married people who make up this category. A midlife crisis for a man happens because he wakes up to a huge mess in his life and family- decades later. With face in hands he says to himself "How did I get in this mess?" Stop thinking that the missing link to a happy life is finding a mate.
Always value your alone time it’s where you can self improve and become the best version of you! 💯
I know what you mean...Learning to love being alone is one of the greatest gifts you’ll give yourself!
I actually just published my first video on how the London lockdown taught me to love being alone. You should check it out! :-)
Man thank you for articulating things in my head out loud I would never be able to organize and present like this. I have been traveling alone for months and kinda felt like I was going nutty from it even though I am an introvert and love being alone. haven't seen anyone but a grocery clerk in a minuuuuute but I've settled into it and now i'm just grateful to have all this time to invest all my energy in myself. And also when you cook alone you get to eat it all too 😍 i don't mind. it's nice to vegetate and consume content but you're right I feel more fulfilled when i create something in my solitude
Hobbies is a great way to focus on something. That's what I love to do. I have tons of them
I’m really glad I came to this video, for one, I’m really so proud of you to step out, taking the financial responsibility, plus the resilience and motivation to carry on.
Thank you for sharing this, it does impact as I’m sure it resonates to many.
Hope you’re doing good!
I love being alone. I prefer being alone in a dark room playing games, watching youtube, thinking my thoughts and talking to myself
Wait!!!!... Is that logan Paul? What happened to his hair?...
Relatable
I’m glad I have friends
Thats not healthy my guy
@@ren.8137 But some people may not want to accept us, so we pretty don't have a choice to be alone most of the time.
LETS GOOO NEW COLE HASTINGS CONTENT
LETS GOOOO
Being alone is good, but I had the opposite problem. I was too "stoic" growing up and pushed people away. I wasn't a loser/nerd, I was popular, but I hated being around people.
It's self defeating to be alone all the time. And impossible. You need to work on yourself just enough not to depend on others. But atomization causes other mental issues.
I was having a really bad night and stumbled upon this video. I hope you know you made my night better and you motivated me to do better things for myself. Thank you.
I’ve struggled with this my whole life and recently got out of a relationship. Thank you for making this I needed it😅
Being alone is a power that not many people can handle
Exactly, and I cherish it.
i agree with you buddy . lot of my time im alone in prior months it was depressing but now ive found my true goal to pursue and im enjoying every minute of life
I take care of my rescues, a 1 year old cat and a 1 month old puppy and now my days are never lonely 😊😺🐶
This comment made me so happy haha, thanks!
@@zosia.9 you're welcome ☺️
If he writes a book one day, I bet it would be a huge success 👏
Already did :) link in description
@@ColeHastings WOAHH I’ll check it out now !
because of your videos, I've changed my view for men..I didn't realize that some men tend to be the same with women like being alone with life! that is me! I seeing myself on you..thank you for your videos I proved to myself that it is okay to be me, to be who I am 🙃🙃🙃
I do like my own company cuz when I'm in crowd I don't feel much involve in them so I love to be alone I talk to all but still I love my solitude ✨
FR! no friends or even best friend and I think I'm really comfortable and ok with it. My happiness doesn't depend on ppl around me, weird but it gives peace of mind.
P.S Since grade school w/o the so called friends. I played with some kids around our neighborhood up to highschool before however I was not really able to make a close bond with them not even my classmates.
If we learned how to enjoy and love being alone the world would be less dramatic a lot of people are afraid to be “lonely”.It’s all in the mind! I mean what’s better than being your own best friend ,explore yourself and do all the things you have passion for without waiting for another person to show you that or validate you. We’re caught up in a world of seeking validation sadly,most of us are denying the fact that NOBODY is going to complete and make you happy other than yourself ✌️
Amen to this girl! 🙏🏻
I know what you mean...Learning to love being alone is one of the greatest gifts you’ll give yourself!
I actually just published my first video on how the London lockdown taught me to love being alone. You should check it out! :-)
It's not in the mind. You are hardwired to need touch
Love what u said❤️🩸
These are all fantastic points. Thank you. I'm struggling a bit to find happiness in solitude where it's become the normal for me.
I fell in love with this man from the moment I saw this video's title, for his straightforwardness, sincerity, and uniqueness. I find myself on the same journey as him and can't thank him enough for his openness and willingness to share his journey. so here I am, here we are, we are different and the same, we thought that we were alone but we have never actually never been. There are always places that can give you a sense of belonging. This is one of those places. Again, I appreciate what you have been doing so far, this video is super useful, special, and needed to be known for.
Have a good one so far Cole Hastings.
New subscriber here. recently going through a break up but this channel has helped me in so many ways and feel like I have the world in my hands. Thank you 🖤
Being alone for quite a long time, i can relate so much on your perspective. Very inspiring and motivating!
I know what you mean...Learning to love being alone is one of the greatest gifts you’ll give yourself!
I actually just published my first video on how the London lockdown taught me to love being alone. You should check it out! :-)
Back in September I cut off from all of my friends. Best decision of my life.
And I still have some friends, not many, but I feel meaningless and I feel the powerful need to interact and be surrounded by people I care about and that care about me..😔
Don't develop hate towards them though. They might just not be as far in their journey as you 👍
i did this in january it is a really good thing, change is usually for the better
@@ColeHastings nah bro course not, I understand that everyone has different paths and I respect their choices, it’s just I have different plans and goals in life :)
@@alex_georgescu nah that’s good bro, I just didn’t have that. If your mates are helping you grow as a person while you help them, that’s a powerful relationship and you should cherish that :)
Thank you Cole! Im alone for my first time and this is hard. All the things you mentioned are things i have experienced but are so hard to stay consistent with... Im getting better and your motivation helps so much!!!!
I'm slowly getting back the habit of waking up early, now I'm waking up at 7:00 a.m but my goal is to wake up at 6:30 but it is just gradual and also getting back to cooking myself good meals for breakfast and continuing going to the gym and watching a good TV series from time to time but one issue is my job which definitely needs to change ASAP because has been alot of issues messing with my mental health because it has become too repetitive and rutinary so I need a new one which I had been searching for 2 months now but eventually I would find a better one and in the meantime I'm learning new skills for my job.
For me, it's not about feeling happy, but rather it's about not being bored. I've done so many things successfully by myself, and it's just boring now. There's little satisfaction in being the best at something if you're alone at the top. I much prefer doing things with friends because it makes things more interesting and a large part of the joy of life is experienced in the company of others.
Yeah, I can see that. I enjoy joining groups that have similar interests and go do things with them sometimes and it's fun and easy .
10k more people for to 100k, before you hit it i want to say, your content has improved and I can notice all the cool edits you do in your videos and I respect it so much. Thanks for the amount of effort you give us through the videos. As well as the amazing advice and mindset. You are a friend I enjoy having in my recommended.
Thank you brother! 100k soon
you are not alone! you are with yourself and that is wonderful in many ways.