I Quit Amazon After 2 Months
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- čas přidán 12. 01. 2024
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Reviewed video: • I quit Amazon after tw...
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Hey I am sponsored by Turso, an edge database. I think they are pretty neet. Give them a try for free and if you want you can get a decent amount off (the free tier is the best (better than planetscale or any other))
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Part of the reason I uploaded this was because I saw your video about your struggles before you started working at Netflix. Appreciate what you do Prime!
Thanks Man
NeetCode is my GOAT.
I viewed your video and i can understand your position. I totally don't agree with him saying you made a mistake by not toughing it out. You don't tough it out at the expense of your health.
two goats 🐐🐐
You definitely missed an opportunity. Yes Amazon sucks but that feeling you had wasn't the feeling of fire or stuckness or inadequacy. It was fear. You were scared of making mistakes. You were scared to be yourself. You weren't setup for success by your manager. This was an opportunity for you to say "Hey, I know I'm really good at XYZ but I'm struggling to make progress, can I pair with someone or is there somewhere I can go for help?" Anyone reading this: If you manager calls you after you turn in your resignation and asks you to reconsider, this is your opportunity to explain how you feel, what is preventing you from succeeding, and ask for options. Don't quit unless you manager refuses to help you or tells you it's up to you. There is no weakness in asking questions, asking for help, or asking for documentation. - A manager.
"10 sick days" This is so weird to me how in the US the employer can literally just limit how many days you can be sick like it's in your control or something.
Yes yes, thank you, lol nothing on you, but we get it. WE GET IT. Our vacation time sucks unwashed ass. Thanks. We get it, but at least the pay is pretty great, I suppose.
@@yoko312 that is true, pay in the US it’s pretty great
@@yoko312bro had a seizure
@@yoko312 Wages stagnate below inflation each year, companies all keep forming monopolies and homes/col is skyrocketing lol. Shits bad.
well...@@yoko312 , maybe. Depends on your state. If you gotta pay 50K in rent per year (or more in mortgage!), your 150K per year is equivalent to 30-50K per year in Eastern Europe or somewhere mid in Asia. So your observation might have been correct 30 years ago, but it's now only partially correct. California for example would suck all dollars from you. Arizona or another state, yeah, definitely better.
Just saying.
What with all the inflation, wokeness, police not doing their job, it's starting to look a bit less inviting than people generally expect.
Immigrants, especially from poor countries, get over stuff like that, generally. But some states makes it VERY hard to do so lately.
Tom didn’t quit JDSL after 2 months
Tom is a genius!!!!
Why would he, JDSL is great, Tom is a genius.
Just don't write comments and you'll be fine
Tom who?
@@abujessica Tom is our forefather in programming. He is a genius. Watch "most amazing software ever created" by this channel... best vid out
@@abujessica Tom The Genius
Daamn.. and I thought I've hit the bottom at some point. Got back to programming at 35, wasted more than a decade... But I'm telling myself 'better late than never'. Gotta stay positive
Trust me, you got this
Programming is not an age thing, its a mental fortitude thing. You like puzzles and making your brain work? Then its the perfect place regardless of age.
You can do it bro!
Same here bro, but just keep at it and you're up to speed in no time!
Same. I quit programming 20 years ago. I wanted to see what AI was like and decided to learn python and deploy a gaming website with a database for users. While I was successful, I couldn't be any more discouraged now. The amount of work it takes to be a solo full stack developer is almost impossible to accomplish alone and there's no guarantee you'll make any profit. So you have to be part of a team. And having tried AI and looking at Google laying off 30,000 people to be replaced with AI. I've given up again. In a few years there will be nothing AI can't do in coding that a human can.
@@Baby4Ghost hmm, well it takes a toll on your eyes, wrist and fingers, not to mention increased chance of heart attack or stroke due to sitting in chair all day every day an night. Oh and there is bad posture leading to curved hunchback syndrome. Otherwise, age is just a number.
Please do not intepret what Prime is saying as you should tolerate and push through any and all hardships. That is a one way ticket to serious burnout which may have lifelong impact on your quality of life. Choose your battles carefully. You don’t go to the gym for the first time in your life and suffer through breaking your back trying to squat 200kg expecting to come out stronger. Definitely strive to become resilient, and push through some tough situations. But be mindful of your capacity and if your struggle is far outside your weight class and should be left to be fought another day.
well said
Exactly this. The attitude of "never quit, struggle makes you stronger" is provably wrong and toxic. You need progressive overload to improve, if something is too hard for you then quit.
this
Good stuff
I cannot say how much i appreciate people talking about personal struggles like this in the industry. I myself am struggling with some addictions right now and a lot of anxiety. There are a lot of days in the grind where I am just crawling to be better and it often feels useless and futile but it gives me a lot of hope to see people who I look up to beat their struggles and come out on top. More than any other of your contents I think these would be the ones that I will take with me going forward, the other being influenced to start using vim lmao.
Hope you get on top of those addictions. I myself am a little addicted to weed.
The grind can be a grind, but once you’ve grinded for a long time you’ll be grounded and grateful
I have a banner in my garage that I stare at every day, “Comfort is a slow death. Prefer pain.”
When I was about to become a father I was broke, not broke broke, but credit cards cruising me into the 500s. I remember studying code in Northern Midwestern cold from text books in a wonky garage on a cheap ass couch, with cheap cigars or Jane and low sleep. 😂, so maybe I’m one of those guys who paired his vices and his learning… but it paid off. And I understand this dudes feeling, I occasionally still get the third-person effect where I’m able to zoom out like I’m playing Sims and be like, “they’re paying me this much to design UI’s for prospectively millions of customers…”
Speaking of which, instead of very hard drugs some of us fell into the MMO gaming hole of the 2000’s, it was like crawling out of a 1950s nuclear bunker and not recognizing the reality you returned to. Having the dark spot in your life gives you a bit of resilience for sure.
I hope you pick up a coding routine. Do 100 days of code. It literally changed my life and it could change yours. Never underestimate the power of habits.
You do realize that you are describing literally everyone who has ever existed right? Some people are better at showing the mask than others. Not only are you not alone, the way you feel isn't even remotely unique.
Just find how other people are suffering and connect with them on that. You'll realize very quickly how all that feeling of anxiety never mattered because you were never alone to begin with.
@@Xe054 self-discipline leads to habits. 👍🏼
My first six months as a developer, I was often tempted to quit, worrying that I might get fired. However, it didn't take long to see that the company had just as many shortcomings, and I had the excuse of inexperience for mine. This led me to change my attitude to "I'm not going to give up. If they want me gone, they'll have to fire me." This got me through it. The Dunning-Kruger effect also applies towards one's ability to accurately judge negative situations.
same same. I really thought I was the most incompetent guy on the team but my coworker eventually complimented how fast I was improving which had me confused
I like how you put that, that we can have Dunning-Krueger for judging our situations just as much as a skill. I’ll remember that next time I feel imposter syndrome (which is often)!
damn so accurate, 1 year in my junior position and i have feeling “they will fire me in any month” i am constantly afraid end of month
@@marektengler6033just completed 1 year and got a raise, still think I'm getting fired at any moment
I was never able to shake off this feeling of being incompetent at work.
I have the utmost respect for you and your willingness to use your platform to share your personal struggles. It takes a lot of courage. I am glad you are doing better now, and am thankful that you are in a position to help others going through similar situations.
NeetCode is the goat 🐐 appreciate him for keeping it real and sharing such a personal experience with everyone
yeah love him too
Sounds like this guy wasn't in a very healthy place to begin with. Amazon is indeed a very stressful environment. If you're not mentally and emotionally healthy, it will certainly break you. Hope he's doing better now.
100%
Most people straight out of college are not in a good place mentally. They've been in school their whole life and everything has just been about studying for the next exam. They have no idea how to suddenly adapt to the working world. School sets people up for failure when it comes to attitude even if they have the knowledge.
He's got 500k subscriber on CZcams
Yeah if your manager says "don't ask questions" then probably your only sensible options are talk to them and drill down into wtf is going on, and ideally get that problem solved, or, if they're an a-hole, go over their head to get them deleted, or quit. If you're young and inexperienced at dealing with people, quit is probably the only option.
Sure, but as an intern you're already scared shirtless about your performance and how the big scawwy seniors look at you, it takes experience to do these steps, both knowing to do them and having the courage to do them.
Yeah generally my experience with lunatic superiors is being honest gets you fired, because… if they’re ridiculous people to that extent, they also aren’t interested in dialogue and improvement and honesty
Peterson has a phrase “It’s not worth it to simply say ‘I’m going out in a blaze of glory’ if all that means is you burn yourself to a crisp, and someone carelessly comes by and sweeps up your ashes.” (You gotta have a smart pushback if you’re gonna push back otherwise you’re just playing a silly martyr game that doesn’t help you OR the company)
@@NoahSteckley agree with this, talking to them just paints a target on your back best bet is just to go over the top of them. Unfortunately you have to play the politics sometimes
Just ask questions anyway. You'll find a couple of people who aren't complete d*cks or people who are d*cks but will answer you questions. Also, some people that are burnt out are looking for any reason to put their focus elsewhere for a little while. Or you should take your questions directly to the manager.
It's hard to know how that was phrased. When you're the senior person trying to hit a deadline it can be frustrating having a bunch of new people taking up all of your time asking a million questions. Maybe management wanted to head that off and encourage them to spend some time on the problem themselves before running to one of the senior people for help right away. Knowing when to ask for help (and how frequently) is something a lot of young people are often not good at.
On the other hand, when they are more than doubling the team in that short of time that means they are either screwed or half the team just quit and management is trying to replace them.
Sounds like he had DPDR - de-personalization/de-realization. It's something that can happen when you spend too much time alone and in your own head. The real advice is to keep yourself from doing that. If you're going through a hard time, make sure you're making contact with the outside world every day. Literally go outside and touch grass, even if it's just with your feet. Getting grounded is the main way you keep yourself out of DPDR, and you don't want to get into it, because it's harder to get out of it than it is to avoid it.
This video is legit - both OP and Prime spit a lot of wisdom here. Only thing I *kind of* disagree with is around 10:00-14:00 when Prime says you should "break through shitty, difficult situations instead of quitting" (paraphrased). Yeah, you might grow. Alternatively, you might get gaslit, abused and wrung out till there's nothing left. Arguably worse, you might get molded into a shitty manipulative Amazon-robot for the rest of your life.
I spent 11 months at Amazon after college and quit for similar reasons as the OP and, similarly, my manager tried to tell me "oh don't do that you don't need to quit we can make this better."
Bullshit. Trust yourself. If something feels wrong, it likely is. Amazon taught me how to work in a pressure cooker but fuck sticking it out once you know something is fundamentally wrong. There's a reason long-time Amazon alumni have similar reputations to the company as a whole. Stay too long and you might see yourself become one of them.
There is a big difference between technically hard were you can grow and overcome it and destructive hard, where you can at the most endure and hope it won't fuck you up long term. I too would prefer if it was pointed out, but you can't have everything.
I think he is saying that he doesn't hear a good reason to quit. Was there too much work pressure? Were the managers unhelpful and rude? Was work environment toxic? If you have any of these reasons, please quit. Else push through.
@@fluxter7629 if there are 6 noobs on 5 engineers who are so burned out that newcomers shouldn't ask them anything, it surely doesn't sound as a healthy envirnoment
@@maciejglinski6564 but he didn't say that was the reason. He said that he was having anxiety about work, not that he was burned out by work.
this. there's no reason you should keep up with terrible work environments. if it's draining you and making you unhappy constantly, i really dont see a reason to continue. i've had very very rough moments in my current job , but at least my managers did their job to make it less stressful, and i got paid accordingly. what i mean is: dont let yourself get used and abused by corporations. it's never worth it
For a year - I was getting extreme anxiety on things I could/should do better. It was gripping me - I was successful but had this feeling - so painful feeling failure - and my performance started getting called out and I was spiraling. My wife had me see a therapist for months.
Some more Months later I was going blind… turns out I had a brain tumor.
Had the tumor removed… that extreme anxiety was gone! Had a golf ball in my head on my pituitary.
I feel I understand more what people go through. I also learned things about myself.
Was wild/scary hard but that was a experience I had.
Just saw the 36 thumbs up - appreciated! People really do read comments!
wow that's scary man, hope you're doing better now!
I'm glad he overcame all that. Prime and him definitely had it more difficult than most of us.
The beginning is always the hardest. Everyone feels imposter syndrome.
I also felt it, but fortunately for me, I knew impostor syndrome was a thing, so I just kept at it and studied more. I knew I wasn't great, but it was just a phase and it would come to an end.
Also, thanks for the inspiration PrimeAgen.
This was one of your best streams. Thank you for this. It really helped me look back at some things I've been through and look at them a different way. And this was the advice I needed going forward.
It is good to have somebody near you, so you can manage it with others.
Like at Amazon, if you have a Senior developer sitting near you, to mentor you, and your life will be a lot of easier.
At Amazon, I had a senior developer who was intentionally giving me the wrong instructions and then calling me out in front of the whole group for doing things wrong (what he told me to do). I'm not saying it's an Amazon thing btw. But yeah. This is a new trend in this industry apparently.
@@anclaudys sad to hear
I am in a situation like this myself right now. I have just quit. I was working for an offshore team. I was frustrated by little things that would keep going wrong with staging or whatever. It sounds trivial now. I was angry at dealing with the bullshit and learning nothing in the process. Worse, I even self sabotaged a different job opportunity that would have let me leave this job, over some lunatic thoughts I developed towards the end. I thought that with this job behind me I will get back in touch with programming etc. I've spent the last 3 months doing nothing.
Over the last 2 weeks I started learning rust. I really like it, but it's quite hard. And just the other day I had a nice interview with a startup looking for a JS dev. I feel a bit lucky that I stumbled across this video. It puts my recent experiences in perspective and I just do not want to repeat this experience again.
Please take Prime's advice and go to bed (emphasis on go to bed) on a consistent schedule and at a reasonable hour. Try to also by extension get up each day at the same time. A lot of what you've experienced and described can be caused or at least greatly magnified by poor sleep health. I hope you have a good day and good luck in getting your next job!
Thanks for this one, primeagen. I burnt out hard early last year and have been slowly figuring my shit out since. It really helps to hear stories like these to know that I am definitely not alone in my experience.
I found myself in this kind of situation right now.
I never struggled through school, but my parents always had a rough time. During my senior year, me my parents ended up getting a divorce, and me and my dad had to move out. I wasn’t even aware that they were both addicted to drugs at the time.
Now, i’ve basically failed out of my freshmen year of college. I’ve lost all of my scholarships and i have to get two jobs to support myself. I can’t stop smoking weed.
I want to get better and change my situation. I just feel stuck. My dad doesn’t have a job and probably won’t get one and i’m stuck taking care of him.
I appreciate the op for telling his story. i know no one will see this but i hope everything is well with you if you do!
I see you. Sorry to read that, I really hope life becomes better for you. Stay strong, things will change, they always do especially if you're aware of the problems.
Hey man, you'll make it! Stay strong 💪💪💪
Hey, I just saw this now. I hope you're doing alright. The biggest thing that helps me focus on dealing with the stuff is when someone told me "focus on what you can control." You can't control other peoples addiction, but you can keep yourself from following in their footsteps. Take care of him, but don't let that become your life. I don't know where you are in the world but in the USA there are groups like al-anon and they will know how you feel. You're not alone, and things will get better.
Love when you get real on vids. Something incredibly sincere and powerful when you talk about getting out of a shitty situation. Or maybe it just resonates cause I get it.
I just finished out the first 10 minutes of the video and want to say that primes video encouraged me so much to continue learning and developing my skill set, i really appreciate what the prime does to influence us and lighten the spark
RESPECT
God damn it Prime, the honesty and transparency you put out there is insane and so appreciated. Thanks for the content man - can't stress how much it helps me in my day to day.
When I was at amazon I was coached not to ask or disturb others - solve it for myself. And then they bragged about working in small teams! No teamwork
just individuals clustered around services. That was my experience for a year before I knew I had to walk.
Nailed it in so many ways on this one. Imagine what the world would be like if every engineer still had Prime's mindset.
Thank you for sharing this man, a lot of people out there who are going through similar situations.
You bring up Salesforce plugins... a buddy of mine left a 6 figure job that he had in downtown Chicago, moved back to UT where he is from, started a Salesforce plugin shop with a buddy of his and is making more than double than he was before. Going deep on a topic is not just real advice, or good advice, it's really good advice.
thank you for posting this content and doing what you do. I hardly ever post, your content is helping me with the rut I'm in and can relate to a lot of things you touch on.
You can be intense and passionate and not be an absolute a hole. It’s even worse when it’s an a hole on a power trip
cant have all three people are too confident in their bs
I appreciate the transparency and honesty. Been watching you for a while and this video confirmed some things I had come to conclusions of. Thank you for being honest, giving good advice, and following God. Appreciate you a ton.
Recently subscribed to you @ThePrimeTime. I am going through some physical & mental stressors currently while preparing for a job change and had been procrastinating for a few days. I am not very good with Algo/DS and resume has average companies so have been getting quite a few rejections just based on the resume which added to the stress. Just an hour before , I was with a psychiatrist and she validated my strategy of taking things slow and I was planning to continue the same. But this video and your general vibe hit me so I am going to go back leetcode today and hopefully can keep this up. Thank you.
Move to any Eastern EU country (it's in some of the central EU countries culture as well). Everyone's an honest asshole and we still like and respect each other. Also, there was a study showing incrementing pay isn't what motivates employees the most - after you get a certain level of living where food, roof over your head, some savings and a decent vacation once a year stop being an issue, you need more than just a raise or free fruits in the office kitchen. You need regular challenges and the freedom to solve them however you want (it has to go in pair), you need your r&d time, and the last but not least, you need to see the results of your work positively impacting your workplace (or your business if you're your own boss).
Where are you from?
@@bezimienny5149 Hehe, Spain. Ale zgadnij, gdzie teraz mieszkam. 😆
@@cprn. już chyba wiem :) Jak długo?
@@bezimienny5149 18 lat minie w lutym, ja już miejscowy, Kraków, obwarzanki, maczanka, kumpir 😆
Pushing through shitty places is what allows companies to stay shitty
agree. have quit one or two jobs and glad I did. there's no reward for putting up with a really shitty situation. ended up in waaaay better jobs thanks to pulling that trigger sooner rather than later.
Honestly you two are such an inspiration to me, I've struggled my whole life but I'm not giving up. If something, I'm stronger than ever. Thank you both for your honesty.
I will listen to you along the way I'm coding, not because of the tips and the sayings you have in your content, because you exactly know what it feels like when you're down and what drugs do to the brain and body :) , wish that I had a pal like you that could talk about life more and more and also learn from each other . so thanks for standing up once again for yourself and for the ones who follow you 🤟🏻
Great motivation for us devs going through the ruck of life. Glad communities like these are here to keep us focused on the right track. Thank you, keep up the good work!
Such great advice here, thanks for sharing. I'm about the same age as you Prime and have similar experiences. Came for the HTMX, but just really enjoying it all!
This right here is why I absolutely love your video and find so much inspiration and motivation through the stuff you preach about. Your story is something that is relatable to mine, being able to give me hope in myself. My first couple decades of life I believed I was meant to be a nobody and just be a loser ass bum all my life with no purpose but you are helping me redefine my purpose and give me a lot of hope. I appreciate you and your content. Keep it up man, you’re killing it
Ill NEVER understand quitting a job because you think you're going to get fired, and maybe its just a survival thing. Even if you are going to get fired collect as many checks as possible and stay eligible for unemployment while looking for a new job. Jobs can suck, but NO tech job sucks more than being broke
That was my mentality,if they made a mistake by hiring me, at least give me my severance package, not fired yet
As someone who once ended up broke and homeless after quitting a shitty job. I very much disagree. They're rare, but there _are_ jobs that are worse than being homeless.
Damn, Amazon's agile retro's are hardcore. On a serious note, this entire video was incredibly relatable. Spend years and thousands of dollars to get educated, and then fail, especially in your first job, it's a hugely stressful issue. It's not just being poor, it's being poor **and** in debt. Combined with a complete loss of confidence in what you just spent all that money and time earning. This dude managed to work through his issues and that is impressive on every level. There are a lot of great life lessons here. College sucks. Pushing through challenges will always make you a better person, but not necessarily a happier one. Just because you loose your path does not mean you can never find your way back. Don't do (too many) drugs. Have a routine. Just to name a few.
This was powerful, powerful stuff. I appreciate this on so many levels. Thanks Prime for sharing
Had some issue with a lead engineer last year and I also almost started forgetting how to code simple stuff.. might be due to lack of sleep agonizing about the issues. A few breaks here and there helped stabilize myself again, but oof, this is some scary thing to go through. I feel NeetCode!
What makes software development hard is the human factor. Getting people together to find a common goal. And if you are looking for collaboration in software development, you might find that a lot of developer are very self-centered and do the minimal stuff needed. Not everyone is really motivated or interested in the field. A lot of devs just want to pick something from Jira, rather than communicating with people. And in some places you understand why. You want to do what you are best at, at the people around deciding what to develop are a distraction. Socialization is very much a distraction to many - especially in these times if remote work,
You right. It’s the First time I agree with a woman about development.
Thanks for this Primeagen. My first job was an internship as a data analyst, first 1 month i had not delivered anything. I felt sick with anxiety every standup. Coming from SQL the db was NoSQL, i wanted to quit soo bad, but I knew if i push through because working in construction was terrible i needed to change my life.
TLDR: i managed to make live dashboards for marketing and c-lev executives.
Currently am developing software (python and bootstrap)for my church after hearing the rev say he was going to use a spreadsheet to store records. All thanks to finding Jesus it's not a real tech job but it's a start.
This has to be one of the most relatable and enjoyable streams you have ever done. Love it.
wow. I've had the forgetfulness for a while after hitting huge rockbottoms in life and I genuinely thought I actually hurt my brain, minus I never did any drugs. It's really good to hear this kind of stuff and see that people do come back. I feel like I'm mostly back and in fact better in some aspects
as an individual stuggling right now through a lot of shit that life is throwing atm, thank you! makes me feel less alone
much respect for both of you guys. thanks for sharing your stories. i like primes motivation of helping people. with that attitude the world can be a better place for everyone and vim users and vscode users can live in harmony side by side fixing shitty legacy code
Mad respect man. Thanks for sharing this.
"OMG, I can eat!" - sooo relatable. Remember having no coins for the coffee machine because no cash at all. And no money for public transport to get back home. From work.
Love your content and your positive message. Thanks, brother.
I can relate to the room layout take so much as a single guy. I invested in a very decent apartment and money isn't an issue at all but getting the furniture and decorating stuff is just such an hassle and unnecessary thing to do for me. I'd rather do something else even in my free time than shop for stuff. This guys chair and cupboard are way better than mine. Id should get a decent chair instead of random ikea kitchen chair. It does it's job tho.
When I got my first corporate job I bought a house (back when people could do that) that was way too big for me. There was my motorcycle, mountain bike in the living room and a chin up bar and a couch I slept on. TV in one room on floor with an xbox. Didn't use any of the other rooms.
House got cleaned every month or so when my sister visited and was like, "what the hell is this". I miss those days
Honestly, you do you and all. I noticed that life started to feel better for me, when the space I was inhabiting felt like it was an extension of the better aspects of myself. I know its not like that for everyone, but I strongly project myself on my space and if the room looks and feels soulless or dirty I start to feel that way too, so I gotta put up paintings I like, plants, even build my own furniture (it looks crappier than if I bought something nice, but it looks exactly how I envisioned it). To each their own though
If you're at the computer at all, definitely invest in a good chair. I got an Aeron for myself, but you can get other ones, like the Steelcase Think.
8:30 - To be honest, if I'm in the senior engineer's position here, a better thing for the manager to do would be to take me off tickets for a few sprints to help ramp up the newbies. Going back to basics, not being on a mega time crunch, and teaching would be a great palette cleanser after a string of burnout sprints.
Of course, we all know what would actually happen - you'd get the training responsibilities, but also still get tickets to do in the meantime.
I just want to say I am trying to become a web developer, been self teaching and I will be going to school for a web developer program as well. You seem very wise and knowledgeable, and I have subscribed for more of your tech and life insights. Looking forward to it :)
The LSD part really hits hard before getting into SWE after the army I felt empty, I once had a really horrible bad trip with LSD, alone in my room, and since then I can't really tell if I'm not dead, like I've no certainty, I'm now comfortable with the idea that I might be, because whether I'm dead or not, doesn't change the subjective experience I have to being alive, but early on it was hard to pull myself through the days not knowing,
I used to be a pretty sensitive guy and as a new dev my mentor assigned was a guy that no one got along with and they thought he was an asshole. Turns out he was just majorly autistic and would say exactly what he meant. No tact at all BUT he also genuinely never said anything intending to be rude, it was all just people that wanted nice over truth and he could only do raw truth. It was the best thing that ever happened to my career and i worked with him for 10 years. After getting past my sensitivity and realizing it wasnt personal, I just took his advice no matter how it was delivered. Love truth over smiles
I always hate hearing things like "we all have to do." No we don't. We don't have to be fake dishonest people. We choose to out of convenience and social pressure.
Nothing irks me more than this notion that we just "have" to do these fake things. Personally I've stopped, and never felt better. Sure, I burned a flimsy fake friendship or two, but atleast now I know that when I make a friend, or develop any type of relationship with someone whether it be business or personal, it is a result of who I actually am, not the phony person I used to pretend to be.
Hear hear.
Meanwhile I'm more offended by the assumption we all constantly think negative about our peers. I for sure don't. This says more about your issues than you think
@@dave4148Yep exactly.
@@dave4148 exactly this. If you think everyone being nice is just fake, you're the issue.
Corporate talk and toxic politeness ARE issues, but we can still be respectful and nice to others.
Lots of people like to think they're "just being honest" when really they're being too lazy to consider the feelings of others in how they phrase things.
When I graduated from college, I was actually in talks with a local high school to become a mathematics teacher for $36k a year or around there. The only position they currently had was for an ESE special needs class, but they promised after 6 months, they'd have mathematics classes available for me, and since my second degree was a pure mathematics degrees, I was in high demand.
...but apparently not because after I accepted the job at the high school, they gave my job to someone else and didn't bother to tell me. I ended up getting a programming job for $40k/year and politely telling the high school "not a fucking chance" when they tried to re-recruit me 6 months later.
It wasn't my first job, or even my first full time job, but it still felt like my first "real" job.
The wise way to look at these behemoths is not to say "I'm sure Amazon is horrible." In fact, it's basically impossible to talk about these huge organizations in such simplistic terms. In my experience, the only thing that matters is the team, not the company.
20 years doing IT, still haven't found a shop that isn't some degree of actively burning, for years I thought I was going to eventually find a company that just had it's shit together, at best I found a fairly stable company that I've been able to stay at for the last 5 years with still enough challenge to keep me interested, but feeling like I can logoff at 5pm when things aren't on fire.
At Amazon, I had a senior developer who was intentionally giving me the wrong instructions and then calling me out in front of the whole group for doing things wrong (what he told me to do). I'm not saying it's an Amazon thing btw. But yeah. This is a new trend in this industry apparently.
They are trying to eliminate what they feel is their competition
@@keylanoslokj1806 it’s pathetic to be threatened by a noob wtf
0:49 its very easy to say "better to work for people who will speak directly to your face" till you work with someone, or for someone, who speaks directly to your face. It can make your life hell, and if the "directness" is about something subjective, you will quickly lose interest and deteriorate. It can also be jaring to work with someone who lacks social skills and speaks directly because of it.
The correct, realistic answer is a balance. You want someone who is nice and understands social interactions but will be honest to you (nicely) when needed.
Love this dude. I go through the same shit everyday. This dude is awesome
Depression is such a hard thing, especially because people do not understand you. How would they understand when you do not understand it yourself?
You know rationally what is happening, that your brain is low on neurotransmitors, that making that phone call, or going to that appointment or literally writting that line of code or that comment on your thesis is a 1 minute task. And somehow, you would rather get shot in the leg than do any of those things.
And anxiety is a similar case: I have a good life, I have finantial stability, I am relatively smart, I have a phd. I have so many things going on for me. Why do I have this constant feeling of impending doom? I once thought that something bad (but not terribly bad, just bad) had happened. In 10 seconds at most, I went from something bad had happened, this will lead to this, to that, then I will have to do this, and it all end up with me being expelled from the country and destituted, considering doing something to myself. In ten seconds I went from reality to delulu land in which I was about to do something terrible to myself in the near future because I ruined my life.
Why? Because I thought I had missed a healthcare related payment of $15. It turned out that I had paid it, but I forgot to mark it as paid.
So literally nothing happened, but in 10 seconds I ruined my week and cried so much.
These are things that cannot be just "pushed throught" many times. Something is physiologically broken in your brain and you need time and therapy to recover, even prescription drugs, just like you would need help to recover from a broken leg.
I can say this is honestly one of my biggest fears. I realize I've gotten pretty lucky in life and I'm not sure how I'd handle it if things started falling apart. Not saying like I've had crazy pampered life at all, and I have had some difficulties, but on the grand scale of things it's been pretty easy/good.
This was a good watch. I'm not in the same field, but the lessons here apply all over for sure. It's worth pushing through difficult times because the experience of doing it does make you stronger. The memory serves as proof to your own mind that yes, you can in fact overcome whatever is in front of you. You did it before. So, you can do it again. And if anything about what's coming is similar to what already happened, well, you already know what to do, so to speak. The whole context of it all changes and you're no longer left in the scared, disoriented place.
As that develops you're able to pick your battles better. Instead of having to react to what's coming, you can better anticipate and thus be proactive about it. You know better what's worth getting into and what isn't. You can choose when to take a day trip to the Abyss to grind out some stats and start putting more focus into your build. Start unlocking prestige classes and multiclass leveling, as well as new gear. New spells, like "Giving your shitty boss the finger" become much more effective and you get some bigger ones too, like "you can't fire me because I'm the only one who knows wtf is even going on" and such.
Anyway, I really appreciated this one and look forward to seeing more
This was a pretty uplifting video, thanks! I just hope that no matter where Im, Ill be able to do something interesting.
"Go through emotionally difficult things and not crack" - for how long? Is cracking quitting? I left AWS after 7 years, and my mental was definitely fucked up, it took a lot from my life and changed me. I actually wish I "cracked" sooner and moved onto new opportunities with my experience.
Also when you are saying the manager is like "you don't have to do that" etc- at Amazon they might say that so you stay, and they can use you for unregretted attrition.
i watched this before (and was fascinated since i'm in the alexa org lol) but i forgot -- this story took a turn we did not expect...its difficult to parse how much was the issue of the job or the coping mechanisms he chose...that said, i've heard from folk who have shifted to Google and mentioned that culture wise it was night and day from what they experienced.
I don't think people worry as much about working with intense people as they are about working with combative people. Intensity can be contagious. Different perspectives can help us get around our own internal biases. It's the combative side that makes work shit. I'm not going to fight with people who are adamant about the wrong path. There's too many idiots who believe they understand more than they do, it'll just mean fighting all the time and promoting the bullies. If people really want to fight me because they want to do something stupid, natural consequences will do a better job teaching them than I ever would.
That anxiety of never feeling enough, of always suspecting everyone else is better and we're to be 'found out' never goes away. In fact the more experienced you get, the more you doubt yourself.
There's never been a time when I didn't anticipate catastrophe in the immediate future; and have always gotten through. It's a lesson in being, as Prime says, being emotionally resilient and brave. Everyone thinks the same!
Also; Prime is right - software is hard and none of these companies have their processes, culture, software, tech debt...absolutely nailed. It's a mess everywhere; it's a matter of degree.
Attitude, team focus, business thinking trumps tech ability; nurture that and you'' be charismatic, likeable and employable.
Great message, thanks for the video.
The whole, "Being put in a hard situation," thing... yes, 100000%. Some people are just very gifted and are never pushed beyond what they feel they're capable of. So when they encounter that situation where they're suddenly challenged, they fold.
I'd rather take the person who's overcome challenge after challenge after challenge, struggled and endured, and live to fight another day, than the one who just floats through life. At some point, everyone will encounter something that is above them, that is hard, that is more challenging than they've ever encountered, and you need to know whether the person you have working for you is one who will persist and fight and gnash and just tackle that challenge, or one who's going to crumble. I want the fighter. I don't care how gifted you are. If you're scrappy, I know you're going to make it.
Dawg, this was surprisingly raw, never went to the place he went, but this shit is still relatable and humbling...
Yeah man I got addicted to drugs in uni. Its hella rough and still to this day (~5years since i quit) I still feel the effects of the addiction. Its like the withdrawal hasnt stopped since i quit, it just gets better by 0.00001% everday. Coding regularly and working hard is what keeps me going honestly. And working out, especially zone2/zone5 cardio. And deadlifts lol.
Came for programming, stayed for life advice!
My mentor has a killer resume, including 1 year at Amazon. He said it was miserable and that after 1 year, he was in the top 50% of seniority, which is when he quit.
Mental health is no joke. I went through psychosis around the same time. I blame it on working with AI while working in quarantine. The fact that my brain turned on me without me knowing is the scariest thing that I’ve ever experienced. If your job sucks you should communicate that to someone otherwise you keep internalizing your emotions to the point where the brain won’t know which world to operate in. Know what existential questions are. If you are questioning reality you’re probably experiencing mild psychosis.
I like the mindset of trying to break through difficult things. New job are always hard, 2 months are definitely not enough.
Sometimes (I'd say almost always) it's only hard because there is so many new informations and things you need to process. Also could be because the seniors are burned out and not really helpful. Some people are having a hard time accepting new teammates.
Most workplaces, especially in huge companies, are toxic and will always be. Being a junior always sucks.
When I worked in a factory one night I had one of 2 electric motors for the water pumps in my responsibility go down, told supervisor, said we needed electrician to fix it because if pump 2 went down we were SOL and would have to shut the line down, dude literally said "I don't want to bother the electricians because I've been calling them a lot to night" guess what happened to pump 2 in like the last half hour of my shift. Management was not happy when they got in that morning lol. When his contract ended they didn't renew it.
I never saw a person become really good when their goal was making money. In our industry when everyone is in danger of being replaceable, a person without any passion and only motivated by climbing the ladder, either becomes the best example of a replaceable colleague, or worse - the person who replaces colleagues. Programming is a tool for a purpose, not the purpose, and money is a side effect. If you invest enough effort into getting better at solving problems and building your dream project, you would never worry about money, you would be very much needed.
To everyone commenting in stream: Drugs are not the problem. Fleeing from your life and your issues is. It does not matter if you flee to drugs, fantasy, computer games, gambling, or just hide under the covers. Fleeing is bad. Disconnecting is bad. Drugs are not bad. Fantasy is not bad. Computer games are not bad. Being under the covers is not bad. Gambling on the other hand is definitely stupid unless the odds are always in your favor (hint: they are not).
Totally agree with the hard stuff makes you stronger.. lost mom at 15, dad at 20, no food.. get up. Do it more. Do it better. Good luck with everyone in their coding endeavors, I have a coding interview on Friday, WISH ME LUCK BOYS!!! (AND GIRLS... I DON'T SEE ANY BUT IF THEY'RE THERE... YOU TOO!)
Best video on the channel so far IMO. Thanks mate!
So true prime. I've had I think 5 job offers at amazon over the years, all expenses paid, fly me to canada, set me up with an apartment ect to work for them. Declined all of them. Not setting foot in a FAANG company in my life. Where I'm working and have worked is a shitshow but not as bad as FAANG as I hear. And at least I got a social security net here with friends and family if I hit rough times.
I've been a software engineer for over 20 years. I think sometimes substances help 😁 I've solved some of my biggest problems in code in the evenings when I was high on pot or half drunk. I thought outside the box and it worked. I haven't touched acid in many years.
Moving on in the software field is just so different from my original field.
I've worked at a lot of places. A while ago, I left a place that I felt was way over my head (as well as a bit outdated). I panicked and left there in 3 months for another job that luckily paid the same. Day 1 my boss wanted me to work on a ticket and started watching over my shoulder as I worked on it (kid you not). I was like "ehh, just push through this time" because you can't just do this everywhere. Pushed through, got my ticket done, and I became one of the most productive programmers on the team because I adapted to the new and old versions of their code base and just took any ticket that came to me.
"The experienced devs are a little burnt out, so don't ask questions. That way they have to fix your shit in addition to doing their job. That'll probably help them"
Damn. This whole video was journey. Everytime i thought i knew where it was going it took a sharp direction i didnt know was there.
Intel, in its heyday, used to make everyone take training in "constructive confrontation," which was all about being direct and a bit combative, but also being able to resolve conflicts and move on.
It was kind of an intense place to work, but you can't argue that it was ineffective.
I don't know if they still do that.
Thank you prime for doing the real work out here.... making us all feel better about our shitty rooms and the fact we have mattresses on our floor. Real fckin talk!
27:01 i love you prime, you push me to be a better dev and a better person
My experience with emotional resiliency is polar opposite. I spent most of my life head down attacking everything head on. Learning how to experience peace and calm are far more useful to my resiliency than the hard work. I am doing things now I never could have done before.
I didn't expect thos video to be this good ans this deep. But it is. Liquid gold right there. Thanks Prime & Navi!
I once left a comfortable job to work for a company doing (I thought) cool stuff in the product space. The first week on the job I sent an email to the dev team about some cool stuff being worked on by Microsoft (this was the early 2000s). First major red flag, kinda' like the "don't ask questions" comment in this video: The company owner who was also on the dev team, took me aside and said I shouldn't pass along any tech news unless I have a presentation to make. Essentially, that just casually sharing information and being informed about our industry was somehow a bad thing. Yeesh. The message was "we don't have time to read and learn here".
Candor can be refreshing. A problem arises with candor when it is substituted, sometimes directly, for thoughtfulness. So, candor is a form of expression, and can be used to express right thoughts and wrong thoughts... and sometimes without proper judgment - in the name of Candor.
Best damn video I have listened to in a while. Real shit. Needed it. Thank you.
Having 50% new grads and 50% seniors is just the dumbest idea.
They can often not even understand each other. You need some intermediate people there
and we are back. thanks for making me cry