Top 5 things keeping your limerence ALIVE!
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
- Disclaimer: Just my opinions. CZcams is not therapy, nuance is everything.
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Hi I’m Marios, on this channel we talk about psychology. I'm doing my doctorate degree in counselling psychology in London.
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00:00-01:17 - INTRO
01:18-03:01 - AMBIGUITY
03:02-03:13 - SAFETY IN IMAGINATION
03:14-04:05 - CREATIVITY
04:06-06:44 - LOW RESOURCES
06:45-08:22 DISCONNECTION & MEANING
Disclaimer: On the channel we discuss themes relating to psychology and mental health, but it is not advice and if you need support including mental or medical attention please seek support from a licensed professional.
#limerence #obsession #heartbreak
tags: limerence, obsessive love, obsession, love, why can't I stop thinking about them, psychology, personal development, limerence help, limerence cure, limerence vs love, limerence abandonment, limerence addiction, limerence intrusive thoughts - Zábava
Get support with limerence:
unfoldinglimerence.com
hi Marios. I'm prone to pure OCD and had a few limerence xp's too in my life, even though I'm typically not a 'romantic' person. I think they are somehow intertwined. the connection must be the rumination, the thinking instead of FEELING and whats maybe even worse, the thinking instead of DOING. To be fair, these acts are not even " thinking", more daydreaming (limerence) as you put it or repetitive mental checks in the case of OCD. Both conditions make you completely overwhelmed and lose the will to enjoy the small things in life. I had cases back then in my adolescence and very early adulthood where limerence made me fully paralysed and I did not approach women that I knew were probably attracted to me. It's as if it was partly their attraction ( coupled with some uncertainty as you never know what's in the other person's mind) that kicked off my limerence. I also think people with 'avoidance' schemes are more likely to experience limerence because they are less willing to just feel what they "have to" feel.
completely agree with your content online. thank you.
I struggle so hard with limerence. It consumes me. I am quite successful in business and highly creative. I can meet someone and within an instant think they are some type of soulmate and cycle into limerence. If and when I enter into a 'real' relationship I get bored quickly and lose interest. I really don't know how to steer myself out of this cycle. I write poetry and creative writing and do use my obsession to fuel that energy because it exists in my world so deeply I need to some how get it out.
U need therapy
You don’t need therapy, keep writing and pouring it into your creativity.
Active imagination is a beautiful way to process emotions.
Oh Brother. This is exactly what I'm doing. I'm doing what I can to escape the feeling of drudgery in my current life, to make it more exciting, but the progress is slow. I won't give up; I don't know what else to do, and I'm not going to let this thing devour me.
I'm also suffering from limerence. I wish there was a support group but that might not be right for me. What's helping me now (since I am in the disillusionment stage) is the negative emotions that I feel towards the person I was obsessed with. I now see the person as a rival instead of as a romantic interest. It's pushed me to see my reality for what it is. I've forced myself to confront the negative emotions and the environment that I am escaping from. A lot of self reflection and some shadow work has also helped identify my childhood issues and trauma that caused my limerent feelings. I've also learned to redirect my obsessive energies towards my own goals, towards improving myself and my issues, and the circumstances that led me to develop limerent feelings.
To people suffering from limerence, I support you. I know you will overcome the limerent emotions and go back to living a normal, healthy life. It is possible. I hope one day you can wake up and find the love you are deserving of.
Sounds like you’re doing a lot of good work with yourself. Best of luck and thanks for sharing.
@@Marios_CG Thank you. Best of luck to you and your work as well. Your videos on limerence have helped me tremendously and I am hoping it will help others as well.
Do you have any tips? I was a brilliant student and I went out with a guy in my year who also had very good marks and was studying the same field as me.
He left me almost overnight, without me understanding why or him explaining, and I've had limerence ever since. It's been two years and I'm doing less well in my studies while he's doing better than ever. I really want to get rid of this feeling. I realise that he's quite mean to other people and very insecure and I wouldn't want to get back into a relationship with him, but I keep thinking about it and it's ruining my life
(sorry for my english btw)
This is the best video on limerence I've ever watched, and I have watched many. The conclusion, the "cure" part especially hit the nail on the head, that is the tricky part no one ever talks about. I've never ever heard anyone having such clear insights on limerence and the solution (which needs to be practiced and maintained). Definitely going to watch it a few more times.
Love your calm voice and cut to the point delivery, grateful for this CZcams recommendation and your effort. Looking forward to your videos.
Thank you so much for the lovely comment I appreciate it
One second at a time. If you fall, you get right back up. Making my own card games and board games and putting my energy into that has helped me immensely
I have also suffered immensely from limerence since my husband died with two men, one of whom was a therapist! And to make matters worse, I was (and still am) a limerent object for both of them. I no longer want to be with either of them, but I am consumed now with rage and wanting them to pay for how they have treated me. I just don’t know how to get over my vindictiveness and the feeling of wanting them to “get what’s coming to them.” The vindictiveness is now filling the space where the limerence once was and I just can’t seem to get past it.
When I’m limerant I can’t concentrate on anything and start failing my job, it’s a very taxing thing for me
I've suffered from limerence since I was a child, I'm now 35 and have been obsessed with the most recent one for over a year. I get strong signs of interest here and there when I see them, and then it goes cold.. I have ADHD and I believe it makes it even more overwhelming and unmanageable. If you know about ADHD as well, it'd be great to see a video about that as well, and how the two are so closely linked. Appreciate your videos so far, thanks.
You just told my story except I'm older.
Yeah, and do you find that you actually don't want to face reality? And you'd rather stay in the fantasy where there is an ongoing storyline between you and her?@@scottytv1
Your practical tips, your calm voice, and short to the point videos are so great. Subscribed
Thank you
In September this year my long term platonic limerence over Tim, my old work colleague had dissipated quite a bit. But 18 Dec would have been his birthday and it has heightened my limerence a bit again.
My limerence with this guy is entering a 1 year anniversary come February 2024 😅😂
And I have employed him again to model for my designs this January. I know he already said to me he's not gay, but when I see him again, I want to get that definito, NO, because that's really what I want
Very clear insight about Limerance
I believed that I am in twinflam relationship but after four years I found it is Limerence
Same
I had no idea i was drawn into this. I knew it was obsessive and not healthy but never thought it could be this . Glad to Learn it is because of the inconsistenties and pushing away of the other. Now i can forgive myself..
Your videos really help me educate myself. Thank you!
I'm curious, how can we effectively unlearn old patterns and unhealthy coping mechanisms (like excessive daydreaming)? And how can we "learn" healthy love and relationships that are good for us?
Thank you for the comment I’m glad the videos are helping. I’ll make note of your questions for future videos.
Thank you Marios. I’m gradually working my way through all of your videos before I take the plunge and booking a call with yourself. Please bear with me whilst I find some courage 😢
What fuels it for me is when I don't think I am attractive and somehow feel at that one time I was considered attractive and then they somehow saw behind the curtain and view me how my friends view me, just some average looking loser guy. This is an early 20s thought pattern that I got fixated on
I found that some scents really affect me, especially with one person I didn't click with at all. Despite our huge differences, there was this pull. We saw each other daily at work, and their scent stuck in the office, making me feel trapped yet drawn in. To deal with it, I started using tea tree oil and another scent, without knowing much about aromatherapy. Surprisingly, these scents helped me keep some distance from the attraction, more than anything else I tried, like avoiding eye contact or trying not to think about them. It's interesting how this turned out to be my best move.
I'd like to get over my current bout of limerence without the humiliation of a "NO" - as in the past. The difference is this time, I am consciously aware that it is limerence. In my head there is high ambiguity in my head - but requesting an answer seems unreasonable. Can I heal on my own?
Thank you. could you make more videos about this subject, I thought it would be interesting if you make it in a form of podcasts
Very helpful
So, its not my fault?! His Pulling away created it t and made it worse the further he pushed me away..
I want to stop thinking about this person but I don't know what to do cause the worst part is that I see them everyday 💀
So I only experienced this with my husband because we're having a sudden breakup. We were happy and both in love, but some dynamic changed due to external factors, and he walked out. Is this limerence?
If you are the LO and the L isn't confessing their undying love, but they're like staring at you, taking pictures of you without consent and bombarding you with questions, do you address it, or do you let them work it out for themselves. By the way I have said for him not to point his phone at me, I answered some of the questions. I didn't want to be rude or hurtful, but I changed the subject for some of them. What I'm asking is do I say I've noticed the behaviour and there's no chance even though he hasn't said anything, or do I let him carry on but I put gentle boundaries in and leave it at that.
When I was experiencing Limerence, the only time I really began healing was when I got a direct no from LO. In my opinion, it would be best for L, and for you, if L gets a direct and absolute rejection to maybe spark that healing process
@@not8348 Thanks I ended up putting in clear boundaries, and I think he's ok now. He seems fine. The behaviour has stopped.
are there Zodiac signs that lean more towards for limerance behavior?
Let's vote. I think gemini
Gemini
You look like Moohamd salah😊😊