The Most Unforgettable Marriage Calls I’ve Taken | Greatest Hits Vol. 2
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- čas přidán 24. 12. 2023
- On today’s show, we’re looking back at some of the most epic calls in show history, including:
- A wife reeling after discovering she’s been lied to for almost 30 years
- A couple unsure of how to recover after trying an open marriage
- A woman wondering if she should tell her husband she was unfaithful
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or reach out via this page: Ask a Question - Ramsey (ramseysolutions.com). We want to talk to YOU!
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As a personal trainer, I beg you all - don't get involved with your personal trainers!!! I've seen so much shenanigans in the gym. The way they make you feel is the way they make all clients feel. The slimy ones just prey on the vulnerable ones who fall for it. Please dont ruin your marriage for foolishness.
I say have the Personal trainers keep doing what they are doing.
They are saving a bunch of men from unfaithful women. Assuming they ever find out
Agreed!
@mildchaos6037 Sometimes it's the attention, and these charmers know what to say. Not all are unfaithful. Some are broken
@@Mrscarricom it will never cease to amaze me that women still don’t understand a man will tell you literally anything to sleep with you
@mildchaos6037 it's why the creator called them the weaker vessel
If your partner is putting pictures of you on the Internet, sexualizing you and saying that you are looking to be with a man in front of him...he is marketing you. This is dangerous. Neither you nor he have any control over who encounters this information on the Internet. Your husband is dangerous. Run!
Oh, ouch. Marketing. That's exactly what my ex did to me, but I never thought of it in those terms....he put my personal info on polygamy and sister-wives sites and I had noooo idea. Ugh.😢
I watched a reality show where a man had done that to his wife. She left when he drugged her and men took turns while he watched. Seriously RUN!
Doing that without a spouse's permission is wrong. But don't confuse that with consensual open marriages.
I said the same thing. He could be opening her up to be trafficked.
Open what now?😂@@user-rf3te8uf2d
The open relationship one makes me think that a lot of people today are bored and also self-absorbed. They say things like “I need attention,” and then use that as justification to step out on your marriage. Love is putting someone else’s needs before your own and serving your partner. Everything now is me/I/myself, and that attitude does not facilitate a good marriage.
They want the safety of being married but the fun of an extramarital affair. Totally selfish.
It's really not that way they choose to live that way because they really do like it and it makes them both happy.. I know several married couples married for 30 years that way! Typically in this kind of relationship if your partner has found a new partner that makes you happy and vice versa... Not for me but like I said I have a lot of experience in it I actually run a lifestyle group!
They are narcs. Raised by codependent permissive parents. The world resolves around them.
Yes yes and yes
@@davidjonburke2729Nope, 100% wrong. They are selfish, self centered, and have neglected their spouse, family, extended family and most important their children..if they have children. It's a crime against children.
It's hard enough to have time for each other in a marriage, with family.
Where are the children?
Where are the grandparents?
My husband and I spent mega hours with work, raising children, volunteering, fitting in extended family events. We barely had time for each other.
Birth, death, taxes of life and not necessarily in that order.
People who think with their genitals and instant gratification are selfish, irresponsible people to their family and society.
Don't for a minute say it " worked" for them as if there is no damage.
First wife. Your husband has not stopped his sick addiction. Trust me.
Exactly. I can bet my life on it. He is Just putting up the show of improving and all... In reality it's just bla bla bla
Right, nobody can stop something that deep cold turkey. Well maybe not nobody, but it would be very rare.
If she got back together with him, she guaranteed herself more years of misery. He was good at hiding that part of himself and getting caught will only make him better at it. She will never be able to, and should never, trust him again. He shared her face, body, measurements online specifically for other men to sexualize WITHOUT HER CONSENT. That’s divorce paper behaviour.
Yea that’s wild though because I can express all that stuff to my wife freely 🤷♂️
First wife. You are crazy if you stay. Dump him and move back to your home state before the divorce. He was not your best friend.
That first wife needs to divorce her husband right away. This is a character issue that can not be fixed. I don't think she needs to tell all her friends their business, therapists only. Once you start telling friends it's too many cooks in the kitchen.
I agree. Talk about making things worse.
P*rn addiction is not a character flaw. It is an illness that has become worse for a lot of people because of the internet. A lot of times addictions stem from deep seated childhood trauma and a struggle to connect. P*rn addiction is no different than food addiction or drug addiction.
That being said, if you have no trust, love can't hold its footing. She has to decide what work is worth doing if she decides to stay or go.
And I agree, telling too many people causes more problems. Better to speak with a therapist and maybe one really good friend she knows will just listen and not force their opinions.
@datheamore6395 food addiction and drug addiction aren't breaking a covenant, and neither is a reason for divorce in Christianity. Porn is.
@@datheamore6395but she doesn’t have to live with that…what kind of life is that. Don’t be scared of being alone. Live your life.
I so agree with you. I was surprised that he advised her to talk with her friends about it. I've never seen that go well. She has a therapist to share with...I think that's enough.
How do people think an open marriage is ever okay?!?!😰
Abraham, David, Noah, Solomon…
@@greenAbbotoh yeah they all worked out so well 😂
Open marriage always looked like a lot to me.
What gets me is that monogamous couples thing open marriage will save it. Truth is, open marriages take work. You have to have the boundaries and the rules already in order before you do it. You talk to your primary partner before, during, and after, always! Primary partner comes before the secondary. Too many people don't talk to their partner, they don't express their feelings, Primary ends up feeling neglected and the secondary is put on a pedestal.
@@lita313 an open marriage is not marriage. Marriage is a word with an objective, definitive meaning. Though the culture is corrupt and wicked, marriage is one thing, and one thing only.
Crazy how people always don't know what to do AFTER they've done everything to ruin their marriages.
😂💯🙃 IKR?
Make it sound easy.
😂😂😂
Right?
An offer for open marriage would immediately end the relationship for me. Absolutely no way I'm doing that
I agree. ☝️ f your partner is asking g you to open the marriage is because he is already manning to cheat. But convincing you to participate makes him look better in public because if you’re doing it as well, then no one can point a finger at his cheating ass. I would end the relationship as well.
Yeah, so why bother getting married !!?
That husband who posted pictures of his wife will never change. I don't care how much he goes to therapy.
Yes. She needs to be honest with herself. This is over. He is a narcissist and will only appear to change. She needs to quit protecting this guy! Eww. He is a creep.
Jesus Christ died for all
@@colleengarcia7752without defending the guy for doing what he did...d.why do women CONSTANTLY jump right to labeling a guy a "Narcissist"...??? Lol!!! Ypu literaly have no basis for that nonsense. It doesn't even make sense in this situation. I'm convinced most women don't even know what being a Narcissist actually means.
He'll troon out soon, he's a danger and she should run a mile.
IF WE WILL LET HIM, HE MAKES THE ONLY WAY FOR US TO CHANGE!!!@@DrDoerk
One of our preachers said to ask your self each day “what can I do to help my mate today”. It takes the thought off self and onto your mate.
I think that many people'd be far better if they focused on themselves rather than others. Also, helping others without them asking for help is a great violation of other people's boundaries, and you're really presumptuous if you believe you know the best what's good for other people.
@@barbthegreat586 ha. As if we don't already struggle with thinking of our own desires first. Humans do not need any help to think about themselves more. Look around at our current culture. People need to focus on themselves more ? Nuts.
I told my husband I absolutely love doing things for him. When he asked if I could do something for him, I jump up and do it. It actually makes me happy to make his life easier. He's always so appreciative of the tiniest little thing it makes loving him so easy. I always tell him he's such an easy person to love
@@liannemarie2504sounds like your love language is acts of service 🙂 My husband's 💯 the same. My love language is words of affirmation so I feel like it's a great combo. Cheers to healthy and happy marriages 🎉🫶
Love languages are different for everyone.. it’s important to have that conversation with a partner.
I wish my therapist and our marriage counselor would have been this upfront with us. It might have saved my marriage.
It seemed we were just doing superficial work and left to flounder.
Thank you for your work Dr. John.
The second call had excellent advice for any relationship struggling over any issue. Simple, but not easy steps for healing .
Yeah... a bad therapist can destroy your life
@@ineedhoez .... how do you know? Did this happen to anyone that you know?
We also tried a marriage counselor. Aside from being later & later for each appointment, I felt like she was refusing to help. When we opened with his cheating with a stripper, she looked at him, he looked at her & they laughed....while I sat crying. She knew he interacted with this hooker/stripper admitting he started by motor boating her naked body. The appointments that followed, she wore lower cut blouses each time showing more cleavage. I asked her about workbooks or exercises to help us. She insisted we weren't ready for that. Because of his lies over 32 yrs, I asked her if we could do a .polygraph test. She refused that as well. I left & never went back.
Just because they hang out a shingle, doesn't mean they're qualified to help.
@@suzannewilliams759I’m so sorry for your experience. You should report her. She needs to lose her license. That’s dangerous. Same thing happened to me. First visit she was laughing with my then fiance. I sat there crying my eyes out and they were talking like we were out at a restaurant or something. I reported her to my next therapist. I left his butt behind.
The second caller said, “Blame Covid, blame this Blame that”. Are you serious?! How about, I chose this instead of that. Take Responsibility For Yourself!! Also, she came back because “it didn’t work out”, not because she knew what she was doing was wrong. Nor did she say she loves her husband.🤦♀️🤷♀️
I blame the husband. He "agreed to it to keep her happy" - instead of saying hell no - I will leave you so fast and be out the door
Exactly! She's sounds very immature.
Yep, she just talked about HER needs not getting met, not getting attention, etc.
She needs accountability for her actions. That's up to her to choose. It was irresponsible to believe that being with more than one sexual partner will be the solution to their troubles. I hope the best for her and her husband.
Very good point. I always think when I hear stories like that well you came back to your husband because it didn’t work out but let’s imagine that things were going great with this new dude…would even a one thought about your husband cross your mind? The answer is no! Because she would be thinking “yeah this new dude is so great! Giving me so many great emotions! That’s what I’ve been looking for!” But in reality the fairytale stopped pretty quickly and then she goes “actually my husband wasn’t that bad I actually want to work on our relationship” well it seems to me she hasn’t changed and I would expect her to do something like that again when she again needs “more new emotions”. Unfortunately no wisdom there at least I didn’t see it 🤷🏻♂️
If the two of you are already having problems, involving a third party will only make things worse.
Yes, it's like having a baby to save the marriage. Terrible idea
I had a coworker that tried that. They divorced and he ended up remarrying and had another child.
THATS what I kept telling My husband but he acted like I was over sensitive, too old fashioned & after a couple yrs first married hearing his FANTASIES to groom Me into his idea of fun, I said NO..
He gave up for some yrs after our 3rd yr..then somewhere into more yrs leading up to 8th, 9th yr his swinging desires went full tilt WITHOUT ME..on the sly
I found out, tried talking sense to him for about 3 or 4 more yrs..eventually I kicked him out
I supported him his 1st 21/2 yrs into our marriage
I'm old fashioned. I believe in love. I believe in vows.
Why do people swing? It's never gonna FIX ANYTHING but only make it worse
I'll never forget the moment I caught him. I was on My way to do HIS LAUNDRY...and got a feeling I should return back to the apartment QUICKLY after leaving ..because I sensed he was online with HER...AND HE WAS..BUSTED! He tried to deny he was doing anything wrong...even laughed AT ME as if to imply, I'm being ridiculous...THEN..
I said show Me your minimized screen...BUSTED!
I read All their sex talk of WHAT they wanted to do..like WTF...why?
I was THE PERFECT WIFE!!! and I was very attractive...I was very UNDERSTANDING, PATIENT, GIVING, EASY GOING, GREAT COOK, KEPT GREAT HOME, ....
so its not like he wasnt LUCKY
it's ALL ABOUT his juvenile selfish wants
I discovered my husband of 25 years had been having an affair when he told me he had an STD.
He told me the day after my dad’s funeral.
He made up a crazy story that he’d had a one night stand… all lies.
I remember he got on his knees in front of me and begged for me to forgive him.
He said‘I don’t want to lose my home’
At no point did he say he didn’t want to lose me or our family.. Game over..
Batard
"Hes just there."
🤣😂 yeah you really love the guy.
Exactly! I feel for that man. Cucked by his wife and when her fantasy inevitably falls apart she doesn't even comprehend the possibility that he could be hurt or struggling.
He’s a potted plant
The woman in this relationship seems horrible. Poor dude
Only true Delony fans are listening now on Christmas Day. 🤪🎄🎄🎄 deck the halls and listen to tragic stories falalalalala
Sorry im not Christian or catholic. Howevr i found this on jan 25, 2024
Second caller. Her husband allowed the "open relationship" to make her happy?!? She only stopped cheating because her "boyfriend" didn't treat her right. Did she ever mention that she loved her husband? One day the husband is going to realize that he's not enough for her. Unfortunately, it might be when she finds someone else.
Its never really love if you can allow another person to get deep up inside your partner. These people are not ready for marriage and should just stay single forever
She never cheated he consented to an open marriage 💀
But l thought she said husband accepted it because he had someone else too. Maybe l missed something.
I’m mad that ophelia wants her husband back after the boyfriend thing ended. Her husband has to be so hurt.
They both participated in an open marriage. While she initiated it, he seemed to be content with the idea of sleeping with other women. Honestly, they are both supremely at fault. My husband would never trade me out for open sex. Her husband didn’t love the idea but he said as long as he can have side action, he’s fine. That’s gross on both their parts. She emotionally got attached to one person, he had sexual encounters. They both defiled the marriage bed and their commitment to each other. If they are able to fix this, it will be both of them having to work on their adultery amongst many other things.
If someone came to me about an open marriage I would agree. Then I will get a divorce the next day. That's an open marriage.
Cool miserable stories on Christmas. 😂
😂
😂😂😂😂
This comment is gold😂😂😂
Here for it 🙌 ❤
😂
My husband kept begging to open our marriage. I finally said years. That’s how I met my new husband. Never been happier. Exhusband seems to not find what he’s looking for back then as he’s now got a drug habit lost his job and got a new gf every couple of months.
First woman needs to leave him and not look back. He’s NOT going to change. He might make a good attempt at faking the change, but it won’t take long for him to turn into Super Douche again.
he may be a sex addict. Plus he's pimping out her pics....unbelievable.
I agree she needs to leave. Also I laughed at the super douche part I thought I only said that lol 😂
Exactly. What does she think he's doing living on his own? Does she think he's happily waiting for her? She wasn't enough for him when they were together everyday. Why would she think she's enough, when he's flying single? Smh.
It's a circus out there, that's for sure
Perfect day to have this come out. Ho, Ho, Ho's all around 😆😆😆
😅
I snickered, nah I laughed😂
😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Big respect to Dr. Delony here....to analyze such complex situations in such a short time, to give practical steps and insight, and to offer hope - quite remarkable.
To share your measurements and compromising photos of yourself taken in confidence, and sharing it sneakily to others like him is also compromising your safety, questionable and ultimate betrayal. Is he pimping her! Trust is broken. 💔
Agreed. Any weirdo could’ve seen that and and taken him up on his offer - randomly and potentially violently. That’s one of the most absurd things I’ve ever heard a husband do to his wife. I’d actually report this to the police just to have it on record, then I’d file for a divorce.
i agree......it seemed like he was trying to put her in danger on purpose....really sick.
She could've got a stalker from that, or had a guy attack her in her home after getting all these sexual ideas from hubby. Very unsafe. And to think of all the diseases he could've brought home. Smh.
The Ophelia call broke my heart. Those people are ruined forever…
It's truly degrading for her husband. I love it how John tells her that it will never be the same again because it's true. Their marriage will have to be completely different.
She seems like a terrible self absorbed person. I hope she listened to this call back after to hear herself.
And this is how we ruin a marriage folks
Posting or sharing sexual photos of someone else without their permission is illegal in Australia! 😮 this is vile behaviour.
As it should be! However, despite the fact that what he did was morally repugnant and most definitely wrong, if she’s clothed (even racily as she stated - shorts and a short tank top) would that still be illegal? I’m guessing not.
It’s illegal in the US. I’m kind of surprised John didn’t say that she has the option to sue.
My husband wouldn't even stay with me when my dad was dying and I was into my third trimester and we had a daughter that was 16 months old. He had a softball game and he was the manager and said they needed him. At 31 year old man. He made it rough for me the last four and a half years of my mom's life. I need to call Dr John
Good Lord, Honey. I hope you are divorced from that jack*ss
❤🙏
He's a pig.
Hope you have! May 2024
Sorry you have been treated so poorly 😔
“I need you to see me and still love me”! That really shook me. I wish that when we were younger, I’m 57, but I wish I had the patience and the ability to sit down and listen to people who knew what they were talking about instead of thinking I knew everything. I wish to God I could get that time back. But I can’t.
😢me too
Hopefully you learned the lessons that you were meant to learn, because that (imho) is what the point of hardships and struggles are…and you will keep getting lessons given until you learn them. 😊
Who else has trust issues after listening to this ?
I actually started feeling much better about being single all my life.....I actually feel proud of myself for not settling and for making decisions that lead to physical/emotional loneliness but kept my integrity whole....
Yeah, that second call nearly violated my marriage by proxy. That dude's misery went through his wife's 2nd-hand testimony, out through my speakers and touched my soul inappropriately.
My sis had this happen to her and it ruined her. He also repented and it was true and sincere but its been 3 yrs and they both still weep. Counselor told her if they are doing better in 5 yrs than they are doing well. It takes a long time to heal from entire marriage being a sham.
I don't think coming back from this sort of betrayal is possible. If someone has proven that they are willing and able to hide the truth and lie to your face for years on end, how can any amount of time of honesty prove that they've changed?
The remedy to every grievance (beside compensation for the grievance) is a change in behaviour from the offending. You forgot something? Write a reminder so you won't. That's a guarantee that it won't happen again. There is no equivalent guarantee you can give for years of lies, deciet and manipulation. I think it's why spousal betrayal is one of the worst sins, because there's no way to remedy it, it will either upend the relationship, or the agrieved party "forgives", i.e. they pay the price for the cheater's mistake.
@@balazsfoldes4700 just the creepiness factor is enough to end it.
@@balazsfoldes4700it is also the most common result of marrying a man.
Gotta love Dr. D, giving us all the gift of "see, somebody else out there has an even *more* screwed-up family!"
Me and my wife thought about open marriage to spice things up, but then she said she was afraid that id like the other woman better and leave her. And i dont like the idea of another guy with my wife.
I also knew personally 2 other couples who did that and it ended up ruining both their marriages. we just decided its not worth it and agreed to not do it. Monogamy only.
Have you maybe considered a s*x doll ?? Good innocent fun and nobody gets hurt, they're an investment but could save a marriage 😍
To the 1st caller; the same thing happened to me after 30 yrs of marriage. I’m in a therapy group with other women this has happened to. Please know that recovery is possible if you want it. All this pain you feel is horrific. Please look for a CSAT therapist; so important. Don’t tell friends that can be unsafe, it can cause you even more ptsd. Again a CSAT led therapy group will help you heal. Much love ❤️
Thankyou
@@oweunuffin2252 I would just say if ur in a marriage and hees not having his needs met. And ur upset at him for trying to having his needs met (via substitute). Why are you two even together? If reconciliation can be found there needs to be a compromise. Or else he will resent you and you will hold the grude from the past. An it will become either toxic or very cold and distant.
@@Will-ef2twDon't u dare blame her!
@@Will-ef2twWill, let me guess; you've done something like this and as your girlfriend or wife was kicking you out of her home, your male ego screamed, "This is all your fault because I have needs!" Indeed you do but your URGENTLY important needs are NOT between your thighs; you can handle that need all by yourself. Your truly urgent need is between your ears in your poorly educated brain. If you ever learn that a woman is more than a living porn doll you might stand a chance at not being alone and constantly kicked to the curb.
If he is not satisfied- it is up to him to be HONEST & communicate with his WIFE… not live a life of lies!!
I kind of feel like disclosing the sex she had with the other guy is more to relieve her conscience, than actually heal anything in their relationship…
Agree, just because an item needs to be said, does not mean an item needs to be heard
@@wstone4046 - Ooh!! I like that!
That's just it - it does both! From the perspective of the husband, healing comes in two ways: 1) he has another reason leave her 2) rebuild their marriage in truth when he is ready. I like the way John put, both ways are going to be incredibly difficult. She no longer has an out and must live with her choices. If she loves her man the way she claims to, she'll tell the truth.
Yeah she doesn’t sound too upset. I feel like she’s fine with a divorce if it does come to that
eww you're a woman of poor character. i hope your husband cheats on you LOOOOL
Porn addiction..soft or hard...ruin many a relationship... especially when the partner lies about it and hides it...there is so much trust destroyed...and so much pain in thinking you are not beautiful and wanted.
🧢
100%
they get addicted to it....and prefer it to real relationships.
This lady may be shocked that her friends don't think that her husband is that great .
Story 1: He's not going to change, that's who he is
2: the second you open the marriage, the marriage is over, this Dr. Is giving false hope.
3: She lied more than once. She can't be trusted...divorce is best for him.
The first one. Run! Go out, don't trust him anymore no matter what he say or do. Go run.
One thing I noticed Dr.John missed with the middle story was at the beginning, the first domino that so many people knock over that starts this downward trajectory is TALKING TO OUTSIDE PEOPLE about your marriage. You can speak to someone outside your marriage but it has to be a therapist or an actual marriage coach/mentor who wants things to work out in your marriage!
People constantly speak to friends, parents, siblings, and co-workers about private things in their marriage. You are allowing outside strangers, who do not care about your marriage and probably are either not married or have a toxic relationship themselves, a loud voice in your marriage. As we can see speaking to another co-worker specifically the opposite gender he offers to sleep with her to fix their problem.
He doesn't care about your marriage... it sounds obvious but people don't have common sense. Now when the other people got what they wanted out of your little entanglement, they can leave happy and you're left with your spouse trying to clean up the explosion that just happened inside your marriage.
Its amazing how many people allow acquaintances to destroy their marriage. People can come back from these things but it is challenging.
There needs to be a course people take before they get married.
I think most people dont understand accountability. I see it more in todays women. Sadly
Yes! I am very careful about speaking about any relationship issues or venting because it’s so easy for family and friends to demonize the side they aren’t hearing.
@@dandaniels2868
Culture teaches that men are stupid and women are the savior of relationships. Social media is destroying more men from a women's point of view, making more demands than most men can deliver.
As for me, I feel inadequate. Being in competition with social media has killed any sparks of romance.
I don't know, he recommended the first caller tell some close friends about what's happening with her marriage.
Idk. What usually happens is the man forbids the woman from talking to anyone, meanwhile he feels free to complain about her to his friends.
Neither wife (last 2 callers) seemed real remorseful for the hurt they’ve caused their husbands. Very selfish immature behavior! I hope they’re just coming across in podcast as careless. And that their families can heal and go onto to live happy lives, especially for the innocent kids involved.
This guy is amazing. I love how he isn’t afraid to call out bullshit but also admits that he is only getting a 30000 ft birds eye view of the situation and he almost never tells people to leave or stay in a bad relationship. He also acknowledges that sometimes economics prolong a bad marriage. That isn’t talked about as much anymore now that woman can get jobs and make 3/4 as much as men.
He just told the First Lady to leave. Is he a psychologist? He should not give his opinion ( s)
@@carlakenyon6073Yea she should leave the hell ?????
I love an expert who does take that extra step n ask such messed up folks to leave. That first relationship will never heal
The lady that was with the trainer, belongs to the streets. 😮
And she had a 2 year old and a 4 year old! I can't imagine the mental gymnastics she did to justify that. makes me sick.
@@epsilona7472blaming men is always easy, maybe that’s how she justified
Couldn't torture that information out of me. You tell your friends and you and your husband will be the weirdos FOREVER.
He was seeking out for attention of other couples, and was basically pimping her out to the other couples as a freebie sounds rather insulting
Sharing photos of her with strangers on the internet. There would be no coming back from that with me. And the second caller just started and I cannot listen to the vocal fry, her voice is nails in my ears. Bye 👋 Merry Christmas everyone ❤
Yess! Or her up talking too.....
Thank you, Dr. Delony. I listened to your “The Most Unforgettable Marriage Calls I’ve Ever Taken Greatest Hits Vol. Two” for the first time this morning. The call with Rebecca really hit home. But what struck me, and frankly made me burst into tears, was you telling her the parts that were real in her marriage. Because I truly believed that our entire relationship, and marriage, was a lie. We were together for almost 25 years. He treated me like I was a princess for the first 20-ish years. I felt the shift, and tried to talk to him, but he denied that anything was going on. I put on my detective hat, and pretty much found out everything. We’re divorced; initially I wanted to work things out, but I discovered another piece of the puzzle, and I couldn’t go on after that. Thank you, again. I guess hearing an intelligent, caring human being (outside of my circle of family and friends) say “that part was real” is something that I needed to hear.
That's heartbreaking I'm so sorry 😔
Situation number 1, I don’t think telling her friends is a good idea. They’re going to demand she leave the marriage and will never respect him ever again if she decides to forgive him and continue with the marriage. Way too much drama.
No, i couldn't move past husband posting pics of me and asking who is interested.
Exactly!!!!
I would press charges
Agree, don’t tell any friends they can’t help you they’ll just be talking your business pay for professional help.
I asked my husband if he would ever want another wife. He said that one wife is trouble enough. He would like to have his sanity intact hahahaha.
LOL. Mine says the same thing! I used to tease him about getting a sister wife, and he would visibly cringe😂
Ha ha ha. My husband said he does not know how some Muslims have 4 wives as they are allowed. One wife is ENOUGH, to drive a man nuts.
Saying these things does not mean anything.
what a strange question to ask your husband
Exactly! Every married man I know says that one woman is trouble enough!😂😂😂
There's nothing "normal" about a pornography addiction
maybe not “normal,” but common
Might as well be normal now.
is normal synonymous with natural? or common? If certain behaviours are common among gamblers, wouldn't there be normal addictions and abnormal addictions? both are unhealthy, like even though snake bites are rare and bad, there'd be normal bites and abnormal ones right? or like if you get envenomated, it'd be normal to have to call an ambulance.
Statistically there is a normal version of everything. Normal is in reference to a normal distribution which states which percentage of people fall into a certain place on a spectrum. Therefore there are normal serial killers, normal pedophiles, and normal cannibals. They just represent the most common version of the group they are a part of, no matter how immoral or reprehensible that group may be. Notice how John says that he is calling it normal porn addiction because of the industry that he works. He has spoken with so many people with porn addiction, he can visualize the distribution of cases and can see that the case presented was not common amongst people with porn addiction and is therefore a statistical outlier and not normal.
Right? That was just invalidating towards people who have gone through the trauma of finding out that their spouse is addicted to pron and/or entertaining chat room infidelity. This is such a man's response to something like that. Basically, "oh yeah, we've all been there" without addressing the trauma of having been completely betrayed. Just because it's ubiquitous doesn't mean it's not incredibly traumatic for the spouses who have to deal with it. The posting of pictures is just one branch of a huge betrayal.
I feel so sorry for the husband who is about to get sicker-punched with the news from his wife that she cheated on him. And the fact that she has been lying for the past 2 months - he will never feel trust in her again.
She needs to shut up, fly right, and never stray again. No way should she ever tell him.
@@wstone4046 I think that’s so wrong to withhold something that big.
@@wstone4046Found the cheater.
@@wstone4046 Nah. That perspective of self-preservation further elicits future episodes of not telling the truth to her husband. She may steer clear of it for a time but it further worsens the problem at hand. She'll then keep doing it to save her skin and live a life of shame that will eventually implode especially in her "faith" as a church-abiding person.
@@wstone4046 Agree! Never go to another gym. Ask God for forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on!
Let’s break it down….
She hoed around, husband disconnected, lost love for her, found someone else….THEN she wants to close it and fix it. Sorry lady, you played yourself and he’s moved on. He will NEVER see you the same. It’s just a long goodbye now. You broke him.
So true! I still don’t feel like she actually cares for him. She just wants him back because she’s lonely now😏
I love that you did this. As someone who had 0 family around me this time of year, it’s nice to have something to look forward to. 🙏🏽💚 Merry Christmas to you and yours
All the best to you in 2024.
I don’t think people ignore their intuition or miss red flags. What seems to happen is that we tell ourselves if we don’t put up with it then we’ll always be in and out of relationships because nobody is perfect. The next person will also have all sorts of flaws and it’s only a matter of time when they do something that really puts us off.
There should be deal-breaker "red flags" early on, such as signs of low-character. If someone has low-character, there's no working with that. As far as expecting perfection out of fellow human beings, when we ourselves have flaws, that's arrogant and unfair.
If you’re raised in an environment that denies reality (like alcoholic parents denying that anything is wrong, or gaslighting their kids), a person learns to ignore or deny their instincts. Counseling can be very helpful at teaching them to sense and pay attention to their instincts.
It’s easy to miss red flags. Especially when the person is good at hiding things. Like John said, it’s only looking back after learning the truth can you see the signs. During everyday life they are easy to miss until the person either gets caught, or their behavior starts to slip and you can then notice the changes.
And if your marriage is falling apart, Merry Christmas. 😂😂😂
Loving the conversation cards! Thanks for Questions for Humans! Merry Christmas!
Second call--I don't agree with calling a friend to share everything. That's no ones business, and really serves no purpose other than to share the caller's misplaced guilt. She needs to talk to a professional that will be there for the long haul. At this point, only HER feelings matter, and don't muddy the waters with friends' comments.
Sure she should. Best day to call a friend and dump your troubles is Christmas morning. 😂
@@JustinCase780 👍would just be awful
I love this show. It's a great reminder for me, why I stopped dating at all or having sex & have zero desire to get married or shack up. It's too much risk, too much work, not worth it, to me. The predicaments the callers on Dr Johns show are in, only strengthen my resolve. I'm grateful for this.
Most things in this life that are the most worthwhile and fulfilling, require sacrifice and risk. You should absolutely be smart in who you decide to spend your precious time with, and not be looking to another human being to "complete" you. But, marriage and family are truly worth it all.
Agree totally!
Spot on 👍👍👍👍👍👍
@@mbwilson8592 If that is your point of view & how you choose to live your life, then, that is what suits you. Some people, such as I, are much happier, productive, remaining single & celibate.
My life is so good, there is nothing that any person could or would add that could add quality to my life.
I HATED being married.
The ex-only beat me one time. He didn't get a chance to do it again.
6 months after the divorce I met a truly wonderful man. The connection was there, we had a lot in common. When he died, I wanted to die, too.
A year after that, I began dating again, it was horrible. The liars, cheaters, sex pigs, guys with deep control issues, so jealous, so possessive.
When I made the decision to stop dating at all in 2012, I became so much happier. I began volunteering, helping other people, traveling more, indulging in a hobby I'm passionate about. I began working out & going to fitness classes, more.
Life is good!
@@abbyxiong3931 There is no reason or need to be sorry. When I hear of all the crap people do to each other in marriages & romantic relationships, my life is of a much higher quality.
If I had stayed married, I would not have been able to travel as much as I do, I would not have the career that I love. I might even have been killed.
When I was married, I loved to do volunteer work. He would become so irritated by it, tell me I was wasting my time etc.
I tried talking with him, his mother tried talking to him, even our children. He wouldn't listen to anyone.
He didn't believe I would leave him. Afterall, he only beat me once. (eyeroll)
The creeps out there in the dating world ~ UGH!
Can't believe this comes out on Christmas Day 😅
I truly appreciate how honest you are. Listening to you has helped me be honest and open. It is a great feeling being free of secrets! Thank You!
I appreciate how honest but nonjudgement you are. Thats huge
The advice in the second call was so, so good. I’m in a good and healthy marriage, but the freedom that comes from learning that there are times of hot and cold for intimacy and discussing what you want to get out of a getaway is just soooo good. I’d even push it to say that you should discuss your goals before a date night, so that even for those few hours, you both understand what you want out of it and aren’t disappointed.
I'm the first call when he said that saying or feeling "it's all fake" is a defense mechanism is incorrect I feel. Yes, he was there when Mom died, etc. but we want people's actions to be aligned with the feelings they are portraying. I've been where "everything is fake" and when it truly was, it's not a defense mechanism.
Don’t tell him. You’re only helping your conscience and causing pain for him.
Him trying to fill in the gap he doesn’t know about for the rest of his life is a far better outcome 👍
i agree. and i dont even think it will help her conscience !
I agree!
LOOOVE the digital echos on the “paaah-ra-pah-pah-puuum!” 😂
I love how you help people and counsel them thru this hard time with your solid advice. Very sweet ❤
Dr Delony is the BEST and most HONEST psychologist today!
First caller needs to leave that guy and take everything
This one show of stories helped clear up so much between my wife and I, thank you so much for everything you all do not just in my life but the millions you touch everyday. Thank you.
It's no excuse when people say, "Oh, we've been together for a long time." The time doesn't kill desire. Relationships are work, and they take effort like anything in life. You want to be healthy and look good, it takes effort to eat healthy and work out; you want to save money, it takes effort and sacrifice to save money; you want a good marriage, it takes work and effort. Why would anyone ever stop putting effort into their marriage and expect it to last, is beyond dumb.
I absolutely agree. I think some people come into marriage with an immature mindset. I don't think age has as much to do with it as maturity but sometimes they do coincide. I married my husband because I could not stand the thought of not being with him for the rest of my life. The moment I met him I just felt this need to be around him. We've been married for almost 12 years and together for 13 and I still can't stand being away from him, lol. He is a wonderful person and he is just sunshine and everyone's life. He's just a good man and I really love him. I don't see this waning anytime soon. But I am blessed to have parents that are happily married after 45 years. My husband's parents have been married about the same time.
Exactly and it’s very few people who can comprehend this and it’s all ‘we love each other so that’s all’ but that’s not all you need to put in work for a seed to grow. Love also means work
I was having a not so good Christmas morning but I feel better now lol merry Christmas y’all 🎅
People who have porn blocks and warnings on their phones can easily get past that to keep their old behavior going.
Amazing advice! It’s not all applicable to every one in every relationship but there’s something there for everyone. Ty for your work!
I love that you tell your callers truths about their situation and give them good advice with love, integrity and candor. When the lady that referenced “searching Google” said that I was thinking: trust “Delony not baloney” 😂🙌🏼. Great show! Catching up a little late ☺️ but great show!
Just discovered your channel few days ago and been binge watching ever since. I sent this one straight to mama. Lol. 👊🏻
Call number three, this is so sad. By lying when it came out you created a situation where he will always wonder what else?. Either it will destroy your marriage in one spectacular explosion, or die from a slow destruction from the inside. Obviously you must tell him, and accept the fall out. The good news is that you have a conscience, and this continues to bother you. If the trainer is associated with the gym as an employee, he should be fired. Most employers don’t want employees sleeping with the customers.
I stumbled upon this channel today and I’m hooked! Dr. Felony your advice is wonderful and fair and straightforward. Listening to you is very therapeutic
Autocorrect…Dr Felony 😂😂😂
The best part was just singing at the end! Great advice as usual merry Christmas
The second lady who called can only be saved by being served divorce papers
Totally agree.
She needs lots of therapy before she can be in a relationship - getting back together is not a great idea for her husband.
Out for a walk now and need some Delony in my life.
if that first one was me I really think it would be over. soliciting sex on my behalf is terrifying and one step away from trafficking
LMFAO! The echo on your Mike had me😅😅
Love your show!
This is the first time I tuned in .. this is the kind of therapist we need where you feel the pain bc you know it’s the truth .. I can relate w the caller w her seeing her husband behind the mask , 😷 ugly truth is she never knew her so called friend / husband :😵💫
John is giving you good advice. If you’re willing to lose the relationship than vomit it all up but it will only hurt your husband. But if he’s a Christian man he will find a way to forgive you. But me I’d take it to my grave. Especially with kids involved.
“Everyone thinks he is perfect!”
Yes you learn who your friends are. Also much you can’t tell - don’t tell - that’s isolating. You don’t want to embarrass anyone. I feel so isolated too! Unbelievable!!
Wow. ❤️
I commend all these people that are brave enough to call and talk to Dr John on the air.
Well, I identify with caller #1 and it has been 3 years. Still not healed.
Me too friend 😢
22 years. Still not healed because very little changed.
I'm sorry. I imagine your spouse had porn addiction.
Why are you with him
We aren't.@@fredflinstone6601
Hey, to Thorne supplements, thanks for supporting Dr John! Your supplements are top notch. 💕
Thank you for this vid. Definitely needed to hear this.
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story Rebbeca!!! You say it feels isolating but I can tell you I've been through the same exact thing with my ex. Although I am terribly sorry for your heartache, it is nice to know I'm not the only wife who was completely blindsided and lied to for years. I already know though, your doing better now. Thank you again!!!
You go girl... do what's right for you advice...
Surprise! Open relationships don't work.. go figure...
I cheated but don't want to tell my husband or take accountability... the house of cards about to fall.... trust dead... still didn't learn the lesson despite our talk...
The second call was so scattered. I wonder if she actually loves her husband?
I think she loves what he has to offer her. The other man couldn't,,, so that is why she is running back....
No one who actually loves their partner suggests an open relationship.
She never said she loves her husband
I love that John said (to first caller) to call two friend and being open about this issue. Such a healthy way to deal with such a secret sin, bring it into the light so it will die for your future to be better.
I needed to find this channel. Thank You.
I’m just discovering you and I’m mad I didn’t a few years ago! Delony is not full of bologna 😊 😂you are awesome 🤘
One point to the last call: Guys fear their wives physically sleeping with a man, women fear their husband having the emotional connection with a different woman (and potentially taking care her children if applicable)
I love this so much!
People get used to being the DOORMAT. It is hard for the abuser to change but it is also hard for you to change and not be the doormat. Concentrate on you.