AITA wedding engagement drama that keeps me up at night - REACTION
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- čas přidán 2. 11. 2023
- AITA wedding engagement drama that keeps me up at night - REACTION
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Well, buckle up, folks, because Charlotte Dobre is back and ready to serve you a steaming cup of AITA (Am I The A**hole) wedding and engagement drama that's so sizzling, you might need oven mitts to handle it! 💍🔥
In this jaw-dropping video, Charlotte takes you on a rollercoaster ride through the wildest, most cringe-worthy, and side-splitting wedding and engagement tales from the world of Reddit. From the bridezilla who insisted on a unicorn-themed wedding to the groom who proposed with a chicken nugget, these stories are more entertaining than any rom-com you've ever seen! 🦄🍗💑
Prepare to gasp, giggle, and guffaw as Charlotte dissects these hysterical tales with her trademark wit and charm. Her reactions are priceless, and her commentary is pure comedy gold. Get ready to spill the sparkling tea, my friends! ☕🎉🤣
So grab your popcorn, hit that subscribe button, and let's dive headfirst into the world of AITA Wedding & Engagement Drama with Charlotte Dobre. It's like a romantic comedy, but with more laughter and fewer lovey-dovey clichés! 💐🍿😂
Don't forget to drop your thoughts and share your own engagement and wedding drama stories in the comments below. We know you've got some unforgettable tales to tell! And make sure to ring that notification bell, because more hilarious content is headed your way soon. 🛎️💍👰
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*DISCLAIMER* Due to a high volume of submissions, there is no guarantee that we will feature your story in a video. By submitting your story, you give me, Charlotte Dobre, the right to feature it in a video.
AITA - Where I decide if you're the AH or not ;) - bit.ly/3Wds7w6
Petty Revenge ! - bit.ly/3PwAUHl
Entitled People Stories - bit.ly/3FtDB83
Crazy Wedding Stories ! - bit.ly/3j1Xonu
Caught A Cheater ? - bit.ly/3FTyFuI
In-Laws From HELL ! - bit.ly/3YqjReg
Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I make a joke or two. I love poking fun at social media, weddings, entitled people, tiktok and OF COURSE petty people. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
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Personally, I couldn't imagine wearing a 6k - 10k ring. I'd be terrified to do anything with my left hand for the rest of my life. So I told my fiance "If my ring cost more than 2k, I don't think I could wear it." He got me a gorgeous aquamarine ring (my birth stone and favorite shade of blue) with little gem leaves as the band from Etsy within my price max. I got a jewelry cleaning machine so I can take care of it and keep it that pretty blue.
Same. When we were first married, I didn't want an engagement ring because my husband and I were only going to wear simple, plain gold bands. But then, just for fun, I decided to get a cheap CZ from a chain jewelry store. Once we got married, I just wore the gold band and loved it. Fast forward a few years; I thought I wanted a nice diamond ring and sprung for something in the $6k - 10k range. It was beautiful, but like you, I was terrified of losing it and rarely wore it. That was 20+ years ago and I still am nervous to wear it. 🙃
My fiance 25 years ago proposed with an antique aquamarine that's Art Deco style and gorgeous! I don't know what he paid, but he bought it from a jewelry store that sold fine estate jewelry so it wasn't cheap, but I doubt it was over $500. I don't care, because I couldn't have loved it more! That's my favorite shade of blue too.
We never married because of a personal family tragedy (mine) that caused me to leave the state indefinitely and go into hiding with my little boy. I loved my fiance and did not want to break up, but it was for his benefit and it was the right thing to do.
With a heavy heart, I handed him that ring back. I should have known that he'd hand it right back and tell me it would make him happier if I kept it and "thought about him every now and then". Yes, I do think about him often and cherish the years we were together. 🥹
My husband got my custom engagement ring off Etsy maybe $400 as well and it's better than anything I'd find in a store
I love this!!! Mine is moissanite, but it’s so similar to a lab grown diamond, it doesn’t even matter! I tell people it’s lab grown! Natural diamonds hurt people in the real world, and you can’t control for things like clarity and cut all the time. Moissanite and lab grown are always perfect!!!
Ugh. Same. As pretty as it is, I would constantly be terrified having something that pricey as an everyday accessory. Plus every ring I’ve owned besides plain bands gets caught on EVERYTHING. So I’d rather a nice platinum or silver band with an engraving.
I have dated a mommas boy before and that is where I learned the difference between loving your mom and being in love with your mom. I've never been jealous of someone's mom in my life and never have again. They have a very happy life together.
ROFL 😅😅😅
good grief sounds like an absolute nightmare
eww incest
I literally screamed 😭👏🏾 I’m glad you chose you 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Lmao. My husband is a momma's boy but he knew when to call for boundaries especially when I told him that it would be super creepy if she didn't back off especially if and when we get intimate. Our first years of marriage, his family didn't believe that we would rather be around each other because apparently sex is only for procreation and they also have never been around newlyweds who actually love each other.
One of my friends recently got divorced over having children. He married his then wife even though she said she never wanted children. Once they were married he kept pushing to have kids and she refused. He, mistakenly, thought he would change her mind. He was wrong and they got a divorce over it. I told him it was his mistake not hers. She told you no kids ever and you didn't listen. I also told him that generally people do not change, they are who they are.
I broke up with a guy over this because he kept talking about two kids. I told him I did not want kids so he went and got two teenagers.
Yeah, he should've broke up with her before he married her if she told him no to wanting kids you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do so yeah the divorce was on him.
I absolutely agree with you both that *most of the time* people don’t change or sway on things that they are adamant about. However, my sister was one of those people who said she absolutely does not want children (she is a fantastic elementary school teacher and those are her kids lol). But, my now BIL wanted children, and it came down to him telling her that if they could not compromise and at least have 1, he would not propose nor marry her (back story, they have been together since 15, so it was a highly heated discussion for years). Long story short, she ended up agreeing. But sadly, my BIL ended up foregoing his request once they did a genetic testing that showed he carried the gene that would cause their children to have a very severe form of Muscular Dystrophy like his Dad currently has, and they didn’t want their future children to endure that. It sucks, because my sister actually had changed her mind and was looking forward to having bio children, and they would have made amazing parents. Adopting could always be in their future. 😊
That lady deserves to be Single and should never have agreed to Marry a Man she knew full well that he wanted kids!!
It’s definitely not black and white on who is right or wrong. He shouldn’t have gotten married thinking he could change her mind and she shouldn’t have gotten married knowing that he wanted to have a family. But at the end of the day maybe they weren’t communicating and on the same page, maybe he thought she might want to eventually or that he would change his own mind, and maybe she didn’t know his intention was to change her mind.
My engagement ring was $400 and I love it. Was going to say “the cost isn’t everything” but then I heard the rest of the story. I personally wouldn’t be comfortable accepting a ring that expensive because I’d be too scared to wear it because it could get lost or stolen. I also CLEARLY COMMUNICATED what kind of ring I would be interested in long before my husband bought it. Communication is key!!!!
my husband bought me a pawnshop ring 12 years ago that was obliterated in an accident; had to be cut off my fingers and we got a $35 silver one as a replacement after that.
Same! My future hubby only spent around 400 on a gorgeous vintage, emerald ring.
When the story started I thought it was ridiculous to ask for a ring that expensive but by the middle of the story I got it. My issue for a ring that cost $10k is that he may be able to afford it because he saved but $80k is a moderate income.. I've got a ring that cost $5k and it would be a stunning engagement ring - $10k is not necessary. The money is better spent on a their life together or a fantastic honeymoon.
Same, my ring was cheap, but the man who gave it to me means more than any expensive ring.
First story….
Soooo, the price of the of the ring means more than what it symbolises and who’s giving it to her? Red flag maybe?
Holy crap. I had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis and also just don’t want kids via adoption or surrogacy, and literally one of the FIRST things I would say to someone I started talking to was “if you want kids, this is a waste of time, sorry”. Most of them were understanding, a few of them showed their true colors real fast 😂
And now I’m engaged, to a man who ALSO doesn’t want kids. Just us and the fur babies.
Same with my boyfriend and me. We’re happy being uncles and spoiling them rotten and babysitting but when the clock strike 6PM, they gots to go! ✌🏻
Happy for you! ❤️🙌
Had the same situation here in my late 20’s. I did the same thing. First of the convos w sm1 new was me explaining I can’t have children and why. I didn’t want to lose sm1 bc I wasn’t up front or have sm1 stay but resent me later
EXACTLY!!! I had my fallopian tubes removed due to health issues(side effects from endometriosis) and its one of the first things I discussed when I was dating. I never had a hard time finding a boyfriend because of it. Honesty is always the best policy.....I've been with my current bf for almost 10 years and we're quite happy just us and our pupperoo ❤❤❤
Wish i could get that surgery. They Will not do it until i am over 40 even though i take meds that put me in menapause.
My chances of a sucsessfull pregnancy via IVF is like mayyybee at best 40% and my risks are Huge so me and my husband are going to foster. Wiiiiish they just would remove my killer uterus.
Good for you that you found a person that shares your wishes in that regard.
Can we normalise having serious conversations with someone you're dating early on?
We should know if the person we are dating cant or wont have kids, not interested in marriage, any interest in travel or moving state/country, what is loyalty and what is cheating, what defines a successful relationship, how you feel about family etc.
Just a few examples, but these things can and will effect a relationship if you and your partner have opposing views. Its so important to know these things from the jump so we can make informed choices about what we want from our futures.
Its not even "serious", its just being honest. NORMALISE HONEST CONVERSATIONS DURING THE DATING PERIOD!!!
Amen sis
For real! I would want to know what I'm getting into before getting attached.
People say hide the crazy for a while, I say no way, you get it up front. If you decide to stay then you knew what you were getting into😂 If people are going to like you for you, then don’t hide yourself away. If they don’t like you, good, then at least you didn’t put in a bunch of time only to find out it wasn’t going to work^_~
I do this with my bf lmao
YES! Once you're actually dating and not just doing the Tinder thing or whatever these conversations need to happen!
I love seeing this developing relationship between Charlotte and her sassy editor. The mic bit - hilarious 😂
I laughed so hard at that part, honestly even rewatched it once or twice XD
I remember having a conversation with my SO about not wanting kids at like 19. I knew early on I didn't want children and if this was his dream then we should split now. I don't want to be the cause of resentment later in life when he realized how serious I was. As I got older I did consider it again more seriously and had a talk with him about it again, because I wasn't sure if I still felt the same way. He felt happy either way we decided to go, (kids or no kids). I just turned 35 and we are happily together still, child-free but with two pups. Open communication is honestly the best thing you can do for yourself and for a relationship. If you don't see eye-to-eye on the big decisions, there is no hope in the long run, imo. That includes being honest with yourself first.
first story, $10 grand is a ludicrous amount to pay for a ring in my opinion. If someone paid that for a ring for me I'd tell them to go get their money back and we'd put it towards a house deposit. That's a lot of damn money.
literally, 10k is life-changing money for me
Let’s also consider the depreciation level of diamonds- it’s value decreases as soon as you walk out the door with it. Not saying don’t get a diamond, but maybe not THAT diamond….
This is life set-up kinda money...
Diamonds are such a scam that valuing them is a red flag for me. It’s just spending money to spend money.
srsly, i wanted a sparkly ring but with zirconia so i wouldnt be worried about them falling out. probably less then $300. use that money on the marriage.
I was present when my friends' marriage essentially broke up in front of my eyes as he found out she had absolutely no intention of ever bearing children.
I was so shocked I blurted "You mean you guys didnt talk about this before you got married?!"
I slid out of there seconds later as they both stared penetratingly into each other's eyes in wordless communication.
Short time later, he slid out of there too.
Sometimes as women we communicate having no wishes of having children, but some men can't understand that cause, we are women, what else is there for us if is not incubating a kid? And bout the time their braind can process that is real and if a woman wants it, she actually can and will NOT having a child EVER, is too late and deep in merriage. I've seen several cases like this.
Maybe not in yours friends case, but this is what I see, a lot more I would like.
Oh my gosh how awkward! I probably would've blurted out the same thing!
It never ceases to amaze me what people who are desperate not to be alone and therefore desperately patching up sinking ships with denial of truths, will do. The lengths some people go to in order to avoid a relationship breaking round of truth-telling... That sounds awkward AF, but I'm glad it sounds like it was at least a quick end (from that point). :x
That guy is a taker. He should kiss the ground she walks upon if she is still with him. SMDH
…no intention of bearing HIS children, most likely.
I laughed so hard with Charlotte's math, girl it's not 22,000÷10,000 its 10,000÷22,000 so basically $0,45 a day 🤣
😂😂😂
I came here to say that too. Love you Chatlotte if you see this btw!
Ran to the comments to see who girl math’d first. 👏🏻
I think the math is wrong. Every marriage in my family that has lasted to the 10th year has had an upgraded "engagement" ring. You start smaller when you are young and can't afford the expensive diamond (smaller diamond is fine). Then, 10 years into the marriage when you are older and more financially established, you splurge and buy that diamond she always wanted. It's a nice gift for 10 years and not so much money is spent at a time when money is tighter.
Our girl Charlotte is so otherwise gifted, I can forgive the math!~ LOVE YOU GIRL!!!!
My partner and I are almost 2 years into our relationship. We had the "kids" discussion 6 months in. They're aware I've never had the desire to have kids and that I have a fear of pregnancy. I'm aware they've always wanted kids. Because we care deeply for each other and want a future together, we've come to a middle ground where we're open to trying surrogacy and adoption when the time comes. This wouldn't work for everyone of course, but it ahould be 100% normal to have this kind of conversation early on in a relationship, ESPECIALLY before marriage.
Im afraid of pregnancy as well and I hate it when people dont take it seriously. Most mothers i know had complications while carrying, birth or with their infants(trouble breathing).
It freaks me out
I want kids but I don’t want kids i know I want to adopt for sure but I just want one of my own but I’m too scared of pregnancy and I’ll probably have to get a C-section because a lot of the woman in my family had to have one. sister had to have one because she’s a rear case where she can’t dilate her body won’t let her she almost lost my fist nephews if the doctor didn’t look her over again because they said even though your water broke, you’re not ready, but she my nephew was losing oxygen her body just wouldn’t let her give birth. They had to do an emergency C-section when the doctor noticed that. They same thing happened with my second nephew they.
Yeah pretty much. My boyfriend used to want kids and I did too. But I realized that I have tokophobia and I'm terrified of pregnancy and childbirth. Even though want kids but I can't carry them because I can't stand it. My boyfriend was really disappointed at first because he wanted biological kids but now that his values have changed and his wishes for the future have become clearer, he is okay with having adopted children now because he really just wants someone to pass his legacy and belongings too (property and business stuff) and to be a dad, not just a father. He is also okay with not having kids and just having each other for the rest of our lives.
I think the conversation about WHY you want kids should be had early on too. Because I found it really disappointed when I learned that at first he only wanted to pass his genetic legacy :/
Personally (I’m a married woman), the value of a ring doesn’t put the value of the marriage. Each to their own, but I told my now-husband I didn’t want a diamond ring because of the ethics of it and because it’s just a marketing scam. I also didn’t want a large gaudy thing that’d snag on clothes and be difficult to clean. I wear the ring he gave me every day, and I love the small gemstone he chose me❤
It's not much about the ring and more about him refusing to buy her the only expensive thing she ever asked for and will use for the rest of her life.
He's worth any money to her as she demonstrated but she's only worth 5k to him.
I have a diamond ring (I think) but when we got married 25 years ago I seldom wore it. When I washed my hands, I took off my engagement ring and walked out, thankfully it was returned to me each time. So finally I just wear my wedding ring and my engagement is only for nice events.
Hubs and I did much the same, for similar reasons. He got a lab-created stone (which shows much better than the "natural" version) for my ring from eBay, and I designed my engagement and wedding rings around it. He wanted an engagement ring, too, so I had the design of a special ring I own copied into a ring in his size; we built his engagement ring into his wedding ring.
Unfortunately, I can't wear rings anymore. I have health issues that cause my hands to frequently swell and return to normal. So, I got a tattoo just below my left collarbone that hubs and I designed together. I call it my wedding ring.
We've been married twenty-one years.
However, other people have other priorities. That doesn't make their way better or worse than ours. It's just different. 💙
Nice to you... But I don't think its okay to shame women who look at ring differently.
I wouldn't personally want anything expensive... I don't even know if I want a ring as I don't wear them... But in this case I think the guy is cheap and she should leave him.
Personally, I just don’t see the point in diamonds. We’re conditioned by marketing to believe that a ring has to cost a certain amount to be valuable when that money could be going someplace else more important that could bear more fruit. I agree the wedding ring should be nice. I disagree with his choice of words as to why he didn’t want to buy an expensive ring, but I don’t think it has anything to do with him not valuing her. I believe it’s fair to say no one who truly loves their significant other can put a monetary value on them. The value of a ring should be in the meaning it carries, not the money it costs. The bond two people share, not the fact that one person deserves a certain amount of money to be spent. I’m sure if she were in a similar situation as him, he’d take care of her in the same way because in those circumstances, money has more meaning, but carrying on about money for a ring this way shows the two have completely different priorities when it comes to money and how it should be spent.
Personally I’d be TERRIFIED of walking outside my home with a $10,000 ring on my hand 😅😅
But also my engagement ring obviously doesn’t come close to my real value 💁♀️😂
Last point - my wedding band still has immensely more value because of the meaning and sentiment behind it, even though it was just $100. ❤
That’s just me though 😂 2:26
I 100% agree and to be honest and $10.000 ring is ridiculous. That’s like a decent car or something nice a bomb ass month long vacation etc.
Thank you for not monetizing a relationship. It's the thought that counts, not the price.
And saving $10k on an $80k salary is not as easy as anyone is making it out to be? At least $10k to throw down on a single semi-vanity item. (The ring isn't vanity, but demanding a diamond really is)
Agreed also that she took care of him is great but a lot of what was discussed didn’t actually cost her anything. I think the style is much more important then the stone or cost. That my partner knows me and my preferences or if it’s a sentimental piece.
I have a wedding ring set from my parents that cost less than 300 from a pawn shop. It's one of my favorite jewelry pieces and what got me into collecting rings. I'll buy cheap ones on trips just to remember the trip or more expensive ones for the more memorable moments. My bf recently bought me a white gold ring as a moving in present (I got him a pocket watch) and I love it. Everytime I see it on my finger I smile. It's a memory holder and something I collect. He made sure I'd like it (had me looking at styles I liked and he picked one in my style which I appreciate fully) and made sure it was gold as I'm allergic to silver. He even said the first ring I buy you has to be gold not just cuz im allergic but to show how much he values me that he wanted to make sure the ring wouldn't tarnish or break or cause me to break out. It's more the thought I care about. You can buy me a ring from a pawn shop for all I care along as it fits my style and you put thought into it I don't care where it came from or the cost
First story is baffling. My husband spent like 2,000 on my engagement ring and wedding band set. He later told me that he got a good deal because each of them were separate returns 😂. Well their loss, my rings are beautiful, I love them and 10 years later i wouldn't change them for anything. While this girl sounds like a total catch a 10,000 ring is just wild.
Never had nor wanted an engagement ring. We both have simple gold wedding bands, and we just celebrated our 33rd anniversary. Idiotic to spend enormous amounts of money on a ring. If you aren't partners and best friends, it won't matter if you have expensive jewelry. Lots of $$ spent does not equate to the depth someone loves another.
We did the same, instead using the 💰for down payment on our first house, which we sold for double the amount and investing in better property, until now, 38 years later, we have a stunning property, 70 acres and a stunning house…..no mortgage. Don’t fall for the horrendous debt of expensive engagement, ring, wedding, etc…. IT’S A TRAP!
It's idiotic to spend a lot of money on a man who doesn't pay it back. He had no problem taking her money but doesn't want to return the favour.
My first diamond engagement/wedding ring (we eloped) was my grandmother's ring. A few years later he scraped together enough to buy a small diamond (chip) and matched bands. Nearing 20th anniversary, he went all out on a full carat diamond ring with custom setting with my birthstone. Said he figured if I stuck with him up til then, I earned it - in a joking way of course - especially since he was a prince among men, the milk of human kindness flowed in his veins, etc. He actually haunted this poor jeweler in town, trying to learn all he could, so he he pick out the best diamond/size for his budget.
Yes bc he LOVED you he tried his best. The guy in the first story can't be bothered and doesn't even have to try bc he already has the funds.. sad 😔
He is a keeper. My bf recently bought me a ring as a moving in present (I bought him a picket watch as that's what he collects and I collect rings) and he made sure it was gold as I'm allergic to silver. We have been looking into wedding ring sets and have been discussing around the 3k range. But this may also be a handmade or specially made ring. All I need the ring to have is a decent diamond (nothing huge as I think big stones aren't pretty personally) and white gold preferably. I would love a skull on it (another thing I collect) but that's only if we got it custom made. I think what your husband did was great. Slowly upgrading when possible. Nothing wrong with that at all and I actually think that's a better way of doing it. A wedding costs money. As long as you get a decent ring that won't break then 👌 for the wedding. Then upgrade when you can if you can. I even have a wedding ring set from a pawn shop from my parents. It's yellow gold with 6 diamonds total. 1 larger and 5 chips. I don't think they paid more than 300 for the set. If that's all my bf could afford 1. I'd be so appreciative 2. If I wanted something else I'd offer to pay any difference. This is something I have already offered my bf. On my wedding ring set I am fully willing to help pay for it.
That’s not the same situation, you’re husband spent as much as he could afford, that’s fine. The man in the first story had money and could AFFORD to spend 6k-10k to get the ring she wanted he just didn’t think she was worth it, he disrespected her and showed how little he cared about her.
Children are a dealbreaker. This is something you should bring up on a first date so you can avoid wasting each other's time and getting your feelings invested in case you're not on the same page.
On the first date?!? You don’t even know if this will lead to a 2nd date and your just dumping the children thing in your date’s lap? Get real.
@@jpbaley2016 Do it like some sort of screening. Depending on your age, ask your date where they see each other 10-15 years from now. If the answer involves having children, thank them for the date and wish them well on future endeavours. I would not want a second date with someone who wants children. It's not worth it for any of us to keep any sort of interest in each other. It's best to cut our losses after the first date if we're not on the same page.
@CatsOverBrats first date is a bit much though, I get a month or 2 into dating and you're feeling g like you want to move it forward but first date isn't for that conversation
I know what you mean, maybe a few weeks in if you're both looking for something serious. I could never deprive a man of a child if he didn't have any. I had my son when I was young and he's college age now. However, my current boyfriend of 7 years has always been clear he wants children. I don't exactly want anymore and feel too old but I am willing to do it one more time because I love him
@@captainhindsight6994 Two months in have a lot of people emotionally invested and will have them end up heartbroken when they finally talk about this. That's not worth it in my opinion but you do you. I'm not on the market so it's no longer my headache to navigate the dating world.
Everyone seems to ignore the fact that in the 1st story, she didn’t say she wanted a $10,000 ring. She sent options in a WIDE range for him to choose from. It didn't have to be the most expensive.
He decided to say, "No one is worth a $10,000 ring," where in the moments, it's "YOU'RE not worth my money." He didn’t have an appropriate discussion and talks about her as if she's suddenly a nuisance because she asked for something.
If he really didn't want to spend that much, they could have found a comprimise, cheaper ring better honeymoon/cake/venue whatever.
I completely missed that part. I thought she was set on that ring.
I can't believe the first guy even posted that.. As soon as I started typing about her moving me in when injured, taking care of me, paying for med treatments and getting me a job after I was well again I'd have hit delete, got my coat and gone out the front door to go shopping for a 10k ring.....The self refection and seeing just some of the things she had done on the screen would have given me my answer
"why would I buy her the ring just cuz she helped me out a FEW years ago" that show what kind of man he is , ungrateful ,calculative man
@@fatisummer9106 I don't know, spending that much on a ring seems financially irresponsible to me. It would be one thing for him to refuse to cover medical expenses or something similar for her but trying to force someone to spend that much on a ring, instead of I don't know, putting it towards a *house* would give me all the pause.
Comparing it to the medical experiences is apples and oranges.
Thats because you a real man.
Its not financial irresponsible to get her the social standard of something she likes and wants and will mean the world to her. Something she will be proud of.
You want her to be proud of her choices. You the biggest one.
@@MothraVsTheWorldif you need a 10k ring to be proud of your relationship, then you should be single.
I hate this comparison that her supporting him so he doesn't go homeless and gets healthy is equivalent to a $10,000 ring. That was incredibly generous of her after knowing him for only six months, but the alternative for him would have been some very rough physical and financial times. The alternative to her not getting the $10,000 ring.....is a cheaper ring. Communicate with each other about why she puts so much value on the ring and why he doesn't. What makes him so hesitant to spend the money, and why is she focused on the ring's price over the ring itself? I do think it's absurd to spend $10,000 on a ring, but I'm also, not even close to making that kind of money.
Yeah, I was thinking the same that he was under more serious circumstances. She is a real one for helping, but situation is quite different to be compared
I didn’t see anywhere in the story where SHE was fixated on the price. She just sent OP rings that she loved enough to wear every day of her life, and that happened to be the price range. OP is one tripping about price, and also he can afford it thanks entirely to her using her family connections to get him a job. OP is straight up lost
Didn’t she get him a job? Like I aint saying this lightly but if OP applied and she didnt pull strings, its unlikely he’d get the job. 80k salary can afford it imo. Its not like shes asking him to go poor and out of his budget.
Agreed. That comparison is total crap and it's just to guilt trip him. No one needs a $10,000 ring and so many people are way too entitled to think that someone not wanting to spend that much makes them an asshole.
This was my thinking process too. A cheaper ring doesn't have as dire of a consequence as not being able to pay rent while you're severely injured would. Especially on an ENGAGEMENT ring. This could be better spent on doing something nice for her instead like taking her on a trip somewhere or something instead of getting a ring that she won't wear once she gets the wedding ring. He was wrong for telling her she's not worth that much, but he wasn't wrong for suggesting other beautiful rings that were more affordable.
I married a momma boy, and yeah, it was supper annoying. For both of us, my mother in law and I 😂. After a few months after we married, she finally told him, stop second guessing your wife and trust her judgment. He literally ran to her and asked her opinion on everything we discussed. I have to say I won't the lottery when it comes to MIL's. She was sweet, courageous, and just lovely. She passed away a few years ago, and I miss her just as much as I miss my mom. My husband did manage to stop going to my MIL for everything, and we have been happily married for going on 30 years. ❤
WOW you struck GOLD. I have never heard a story of a momma's boy changing like that. Sometimes I hear of them sticking up for their wife's a little, but usually let their mom control everything.
@xoxablade8345 I was lucky that my MIL shut him down at the beginning of our marriage and told him marriage means trusting your wife, and if you keep coming to me, you will ruin your marriage. His dad also had a talk with him and told him he needs to trust in each other and not come to his mom for everything we discuss. The reason he was such a momma boy was he was a premature baby, just under 2lbs when he was born and a medical miracle as the 1st to ever use an incubator. She was overly concerned and babyed him growing up and he was also the youngest of 6 kids and had his fair share of being spoiled by his older sibs(whom I love as much as my owne sibs). She was a great woman. I was blessed to have her as my second mom. He really matured after his mom and dad set him straight and learned to communicate with me and trust me.
Your MIL is ❤
Yeah, I married a boy who was afraid of his mom. She really weaponized love, he could NEVER take my side, she was pretty vile to me. It ended in divorce. Very, very toxic woman. Her son has given up on relationships, which is a shame, but unsurprising. She's been dead for years, but still screws him up.
Sorry for your loss. Sometimes we're blessed with very special people.
In response to the engagement party story my boyfriend would never let his family treat me like that. He was out of touch with his sister for about 8 years but got back in touch because he wanted to meet his niece. He started talking to her again on the condition that she doesn't say or do anything to hurt me or him (she's bipolar) they got in a fight a couple of months ago & I got brought into it & she said something really messed up. He said alright I told you my conditions, you broke them, I'm done. I love that man. He's been hanging out with them again for about 2 weeks because he missed his niece & she missed him. She started naming all her construction worker Little People Bob (my boyfriend's name) in his less than 1 month absence which I thought was cute.
Love that the guy from the first story laid out in great detail all of the things his GF did for him, cared for him through injuries & surgeries, opened her home, paid his portion of the rent, medical bills & regular bills after only 6 months of dating but then immediately was like I don't think I should have to buy an expensive ring "because she helped me out a little" like she loaned him $50 bucks for groceries. Wow dude just wow you're a huge AH
All of a sudden I really felt like it was the gf writting this not him. Did not make sense to me how he even has a list of things shes done for him and makes himself really look like TAH
@@lorenaramirez9387 Yeah, I also found that story fishy.
That’s some transactional BS. If that’s how you view relationships (if I help you through an illness then you owe me a $10k ring) then you should be in therapy, not a relationship.
@@BoringTroublemakerand in grown up land it IS transactional and pretending otherwise has caused our insane increase in divorces because everyone expects a Disney ending.
Every single relationship you have is transactional whether you admit it or not.
Friendships, family, coworkers, bosses, so's, hubby/wife. All give and take all transactions.
Welcome to grown up land. Refuse to accept it? You admit your a user that doesn't want to give.
@@kopykat6843 “grown up land” get serious. Perhaps you need to understand the difference between reciprocal and transactional - then come back and talk to me about being a grown up. I’ve been married for 20 years. You stand by your partner with the understanding that they will do the same for you if the situation was reversed (unemployment, serious illness, whatever) NOT because you expect an extravagant gift for doing what is necessary.
For blathering on about “grown up land” you don’t seem to understand what being a grown up is about at all.
The editor preparing me for the audio issue is the true mvp of the day. Great video!
YES THIS!!!!! Usually we suffer wondering if it's an error on our ends.
For real! I thought I'd fried another bluetooth speaker and I wasn't ready to blow another $15 for a new one! I'm not made of money, ya know.😉
I didn’t even notice 👂🏻
It’s all good 😻
Was it Tim? Love Tim!
fist story, as a guy, I went from "shes a relentless golddigger" to "I will buy the ring myself". shes a keeper.
she's from a well off family and he's not, her being a gold digger was never an option
As a girl, I think at his salary, those rings are way too expensive.
Not so sure op is 😳
@@loosiluit s not like an engagement ring is something you offer your partner every 2 weeks . He should at least make some financial sacrifices for that one specific ring
She definitely sounds like She's worth it to me
It doesn't have to be $10,000 but definitely should be in the $5000 and up range she took care of for quite awhile
A 10,000 ring is ridiculously expensive. I get she was selfless and there’s more to the story but you can get amazing rings now for a lot less. As someone who is about to be engaged and is also excited about a ring I think that’s a lot to ask of someone.
Plus paying for someone to keep a roof over their head and food on the table is, whilst a nice gesture she was in no way obligated to do, covering for basic necessities. A 10k ring is at the absolute opposite end of Maslow’s pyramid.
@@adeliecn1763 100% agreed. Never disagreed more with Charlotte than in this post. It's not about getting even and viewing it that way is gross. It's about them being partner's and that's why she helped him after a literal injury. If he got her the ring and they were then 'even' I guess he doesn't have to help her when bad luck hits right? The smart thing is to save or put that towards a house or anything else than a trinket that adds no real value to their shared life.
I feel mixed about it, i personally dont care about an expencive engament ring. But she never had an extravagant gift at all. Give her this one thing that shes going to wear the rest of her life. Better than an expensive dress that she only wears once.
@@EstherHulst-Artist a house to live in would be a far better investment than the ring. He was already about to spend 1.5k on the ring while the cheapest option she sent was 6k. Plus she grew up well off I’m pretty sure she had at least one extravagant gift.
She wanted a diamond ring. He can afford it. It was something that would really make her happy.
If you don't see the issue with him being like "oh yeah well she was with me at my worst even tho we barely knew each other and helped me get back on my feet but that's no big deal" makes him an asshole.
Can I just say OP w the sister who had cancer is a super stand up guy! If only everyone could accept the consequences of their mistakes and choose to learn and grow from them.
today im getting my first tattoo! I have no one to celebrate this with IRL, so i wanna share my joy with the potato crew!
Also, Butterscotch coffee and AITA is the breakfast of champions 😂 i was looking at the subreddit this morning😂
Aww Congratulations and good luck!
@@FlavaFlav87thank you!!
Good luck under the needle fellow potato!
Y'all are such sweet potatoes 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Congratulations girl! Hope it turns out great 🩷
"Nobody's worth a 10.000 dollar ring" is honestly my own gut reaction, because all I would think about is what, I could use that money for, for both of us... HOWEVER... is my partners wants, needs, feelings , wishes worth that much? Yes, absolutely - which is why you need communication! Rings have symbolic meaning to me, but to me it doesn't matter whether it was dirt cheap or expensive and I honestly think diamonds are so overrated, but we are all different people, and the only way we can try and understand each other, is to talk... I would hate spending 10.000 on a ring, but I would love the happy expression on my partners face, which is what would make it totally worth it...
"Nobody's worth a 10.000 dollar ring" is just the wrong thing to say , the person that will spend ur life with is not "Nobody" and she deserves the world ,I hate the way he expressed or feel that this ab worthness, if he really cant offered it he could simply say it and I am sure a woman who stay with when he broke his bone do ,but if he think she is not worth of 10K ring ,is not good start for healthy marriage
This…it sounds like she’s only in it for the ring, when in reality, that should be the last reason to marry someone!
His phrasing was awful, but the sentiment is not bad. He's allowed to think that's a completely unreasonable expectation, he just needs to learn how to talk about his feelings with a bit more care. Something even as simple as "10k is outside of my budget, can we find something you like around $X?" would have been better. Also, knowing her father owns a big company and that she insists on a diamond gives me spoiled rich girl vibes, which probably doesn't bode well going into a marriage.
As a side note, 10k on a ring when you make 80k a year? That is completely ridiculous. You shouldn't be spending 1/8th of your yearly salary on anything short of a car, house, maintenance on those things, tuition, etc. I could never.
No, did you not listen to the story at all? She financially took care of him for years and he has given nothing. This isn't about a ring, this is about him being a leech. @@KDu400
For the first story: I was shocked already at the 1500$ price tag for an engagement ring. I wouldn't be comfortable wearing that. Let alone 10k. Holy crap! For me, an engagement ring as well as a wedding ring are about the symbolism. I'd be fine with a 10$ ring. I am getting married soon and I don't know how much he spent on my engagement ring but I hope it wasn't more than 1-200$. And also, for me it's a huuuuge difference if you pay for someones expenses, ie stuff neccessary to exist, or if you indulge someones ridiculous expectations (a ring)
See... I get this!! And as someone who comes from a very poor background, I'm right there with ya!! That said, I still don't know about the $10 ring... ONLY BECAUSE $10 is easy enough to throw away in today's society. A man being willing to spend at least a couple hundred on a ring, to me means he's willing to financially invest and at least worked to set aside the money he needed to get a proper ring as a thorough commitment to the relationship...
That's just me though. That doesn't necessarily mean anything. :) some people can afford to throw a couple hundred away... I have never been that person. 😅😅😅
I looked up the comparisons with diamonds! A 1 carat diamons is 4700! . the 2 carat can go up to 23K!!!! Lab grown are like, NOTHING in comparison. You could but a 7k stone in 4 CARATS. 4. That's a planet. I read that the GIA rates them the same! It's like we've been totally warped into buying this stuff as proof of what we're worth.
The diagrams for those 4 carat stones on a finger, as much as I yelped at the cost? Woah nelly. They looked a little sexy. :) Then again so does a down payment on a car. So like. Yeesh.
You are exactly how I wish all women could be. My woman should want to marry me even if I tied a string around her finger as a ring. I ofc wouldn't do that, but marriage isn't about the ring, it's about being happily together.
What is even going on with engagement rings being that excessive? 😱 In our culture some don't even wear their engagement ring after the wedding tbh. So I was totally content with a white gold ring with a little zirconia for the sparkles 😂
Damn, in my culture although we don't buy diamonds. We splurge on gold and I mean literally.
My neighbourhood is full of middle class families, but the gold they buy during weddings is insane. It usually goes from 10k to 20k.
So her demanding a diamond ring worth 6k didn't seem much to me, cause well he could afford it. But diamonds aren't a great investment, and the culture differs so he must've found it expensive.
But instead of compromising with her or talking to her, he is acting like she isn't "worth" it.
@@sparkyblue7016 yeah I know some splurge on gold and that's totally fine. 🙂
But yeah I think there was a whole lot of no communication going on.
I'm sorry to me, as a gal, even spending 1500 on a ring is asinine. 10 thou???? Is insane.
Also the difference between paying for serious Healthcare and a useless ring is astounding. Plus they def are keeping score.
Yeah those are not comparable. Fortunately it was him and his sister making that comparison and not the gf who brought it up or that would be a HUGE red flag.
Still very much not a fan of spending 12% of my annual income on an engagement ring (not even the wedding band? Is that another 10k incoming idk how that works)
Was just typing out the same thing. Your partners surgery and health care after an accident that they had no choice over is completely different and does not entitle you to a ridiculously expensive piece of jewellery. It's completely fair to want reimbursement for the money spent, but not to expect a real diamond ring that isn't even ethical or worth it. Life is more important than materialistic items.
The story said she came from a wealthy family sounds like she's been sacrificing so she can get her pay off later.
She was worth a 10k ring until she demanded it. OP probably would have been fine spending 9k on a honeymoon and 1k on the ring. If she leaves, good riddance.
@@Heddrickhow do you know he would have spend 9k on a honeymoon? She paid his hospital bills and the apartment and doesn’t sound like he even tried to pay it back. He probably will demand they split the honeymoon cost
I agree: no one needs a 10k ring, and 80k is not THAT much for a salary, but I grew up poor and think it's an extravagance that could be put to better use. Sounds like different backgrounds, different expectations and priorities, so will eventually result in money issues in the future
Yes, this is a typical reaction from a spoon-fed brat.
I totally agree
I think what he said pissed her off because she _spent_ maybe $10,000 on him... and for him to say "You're not worth 10 grand"... Yeah. That's why she's pissed.
It will be an ongoing argument until they can compromise on this topic. $10,000 for an engagement ring... and $10,000+ wedding ring. That's still $20,000+ on just the rings. He's figuring that he'll be spending maybe 5,000 to 6,000 for both rings... and spend the rest for the wedding. By my math, that's nearly $15,000 that can be spent on other things... like... a honeymoon... a wedding.
Yeah... it sucks, but at least he's having this discussion _now_ instead of after the engagement party, lol.
I feel like an 80,000 dollar salary is really good for this day and age though
@maevecostello2629 no. No it isn't. Not when monthly rent for a one bedroom is typically 2k in rural areas, yet alone what they are in big cities. And the choosy of food and fuel. Absolutely not
As a woman myself, TO ME, anything over $300 is WAY TOO MUCH. I told my husband I’d be okay with a ring pop. Rings should not cost more than rent tbh 💁🏻♀️
I've been married for almost 10 years. My original engagement ring wasn't a diamond. Cubic zirconia. Both my husband and I now wear and prefer silicone bands. Cheap, comfortable, safe for my husband at work, and doesn't cause my eczema to flare up. How expensive of an engagement ring you give or lavish of a wedding you have really means nothing in the test of time and truly choosing eachother.
👍👍👍
I wanted a 75-150 dollar engagement ring and my husband wanted to get me an expensive one... I thought the 1000-3000 dollar ones he was looking at was exorbitant... I can't imagine expecting a 10,000 dollar ring 😬 such a waste of money! And my husband makes way more than 80k per year 😅
I would rather have a ring that isn't going to make me a crime victim. Where I live, there are gang bangers who will stab people for their sneakers. A few years ago, our town was listed as #30 of the highest murder rates out of all cities and towns in the USA. We had a higher murder rate than Chicago!
I have a valuable gold necklace that my dad bought for Mom in 1962. It has a 60 carat dark purple amethyst that's almost flawless. Mom gave it to me before she died because she didn't trust my brother to give it to me even though she specifically left me all her jewelry in her will.
I love it but rarely wear it, and when anyone asks about it, I tell them it's fake.
@@LazyIRanch - I’m curious what town?
I guess there are cultural differences here. In my culture a cheap ring would be considered offensive, particularly if the man can afford a more expensive one. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, if the couple agrees to not spend too much that’s always fine, not every girl cares for a ring tbh. But culturally, we consider it a kind of insurance/safety net for the woman (along with the dowry).
It’s not about being superficial at all, but a sign that the man is willing to invest his resources into the marriage. It also shows that he is serious about the marriage. It is also completely relative to how much the man makes so it’s defo looked down upon to demand an unfair amount that would put too much pressure on his finances. Realistically that would be pretty dumb because his money will essentially become yours, so why on earth would you force him to make a purchase he can’t afford? that will only hurt you in the long run as well.
So no, it isn’t a waste of money, it not expensive for the sake of being expensive, it’s deeper than that and we defo shouldn’t assume anyone who wants that is being superficial or isn’t smart with their money.
@@LazyIRanch damn, that’s really sad. I hope you’ll get a chance to enjoy the heirloom a bit more in the nearest future. Sounds like a very sentimental and beautiful piece.
I don't want a ring at all. Maybe a keychain or something else that can be put anywhere or just not worn at all depending on my mood. By boy knows that.
As a woman, I feel like it does not matter to the price of the ring. What matters is the meaning and the heart behind it. I am 44 years old, I have never been married, I was in a very long-term relationship for over 25 years, we had two children together, we are now separated and he is getting married to somebody else and we have a very amicable relationship and I am also in a new relationship as well. I've been engaged to three times. The ring does not matter. What matters is the purity of heart behind it, and the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. And I would take a bread tie wrapped around my finger, with somebody that I love, as opposed to a hundred thousand dollar ring with somebody that I don't really give to much about. It's not about the ring it's about the heart behind it
Also, if the other kind of ring is more ethical, it's better. Plus, more money left over for our life together.
For some women, it DOES matter, like me, for example.
Oh absolutely save your money. I could go into it. Literally I had a shotgun wedding. I'm not joking. My husband's mom and my grandmother who is more of a mother figure in my life. Shotgun wedding all the way. This is so funny. We just had our 20th anniversary. My husband says, why do you always call it a shotgun wedding? I said are you kidding. You have technology in your hand today and you haven't bothered to look that up. He did. He was like Oh my God 😅 I'm sorry. 😅😅😅😅 Holy moly. We had a shotgun wedding. I would like yep. Told you..
Everything fell through. Everything wasn't going as planned so I just said drop everything we'll get married. And let it be. I let go of everything and saved a lot of money..
What's really awesome is that enabled us to purchase a home and a business..
As a matter of fact I've never been on vacation. Ever. First of all, back then we lived in Paradise. Vacation is anytime I want to take a break.. 😅 and.. I work too hard. And so does my husband. And vacations are always loved at home. Where you get to relax. Do some chores you've been trying to get to. And sleep. Like there's no tomorrow.🎉
Spending a whole bunch of money. On a frivolous experience. No thanks.. I was too busy. And so is my husband. Although, my son has graduated. Top of the class. And he's moved out. Doing well has a job. And now, we actually may be able to take a vacation. But to be honest. I would rather run to nature. And camp then ever be locked up in a hotel. And or, be at the beach. Because I grew up at the beach. And I'm okay I'm good I'm all sanded out. With my back injury I can't surf anymore. I prefer deep sea fishing. But since my pregnancy with my EDS. I get extremely car sick and seasick. Not worth it. I would rather run to the Red Forest. Never seen it. And, I would love to touch that nature. I think I actually made for the first time in my life have a vacation.😅 I didn't even have a honeymoon. No way. To go spend money at a hotel for 2 weeks hell no. Or a month. Nope.. I did go to my favorite hotel for a couple days. Went shopping had lots of fun buying different orchids for my property. Never looked at the beach. Slept the whole time. I work too damn hard. And, I went to the beach practically anytime I had time off. And did lots of fishing on a boat. I can't stand it whenever people fish on the beach. It can be very dangerous for people that swim and surf.
My husband and I were talking a couple months ago. On our anniversary. He was like. It's amazing how you allow things just to fall into life's path as you call it. And you walk forward with grace. And without worry. Thank you so much. I said for what. He said Just making life fun and easy. Normally women would have freaked out about the wedding. My ex literally was planning our wedding for 5 years. She had three books. Put together. Of what she wanted. You chucked everything to the wind and was like. Forget that. Okay, don't call my new child a bastard. I'll get married. And I can't believe I just learned that we had a shotgun wedding. He said 20 years and I laughed I said yes. 20 years of you having no idea that that actually happened. Hilarious. He says why do I feel so guilty. I said because I would have liked to have waited. And I'm sure you knew. But, what did I not want put upon our child. He said.. The bastard proclaim I said exactly. I was not about to let that happen. And, I was swelling so bad because I had one good working kidney and an 11.9 mm kidney stone. There's no way I was going to buy a dress. For a body that was pushing its limits. Waste of money...
He asked me. When are we going to have an anniversary party? I said. When we have the time. And if your congruent with it. You never really cared about anniversary stuff. My husband got sad. And emotional and he said I ruined it didn't I. I said yes because every year I would try to make it really special on our anniversary and I gave up. On, he said number 10. That was the last anniversary that you celebrated with me. I said yep..
And now look at you. My husband has become very nostalgic about our marriage. And it wasn't until our 15th wedding anniversary He started to really kick in and celebrate. He got upset and said I'm so sorry. I said that's okay. It doesn't bother me. Those are frivolous things. If I were to allow something like that to bring me down. And control my emotions. There are so many other things in life to worry about. Then a frivolous day. Hooray. He's like it's not frivolous though. I said now it's not to you. You've never had anything past 5 years. A car, a home, a relationship. I'm the first for all of those. The day we took our vows. Whenever she said till death do you part. I looked at him and said if you part, You're ..💀.. My husband chuckled, and looked around and said we're getting married. I said I know. My mother has been married six times. Two times to one man. And you know, I didn't want to get married today. The lady marrying us starts getting worried. She's like Are you serious I said yeah. I'm having a shotgun wedding. My husband was like I don't know what that is and I don't know why you call it that. I said if you part your 💀. End of story. Take it or leave it. We can walk away right now.
My husband was like okay. If I part I'm 💀🫡. I said good. We can proceed. The lady marrying us was just shocked. I looked at her and I said yes. I may look conservative as hell right now ma'am. But I'm not. I'm definitely the black sheep. Forced to wear white. Shotgun wedding You knew what that is don't you? She said yes. My husband and I were like, reminiscing and I laughed and said Even that day when we were getting married and we talked about it you never thought to Google it or look it up? He was like no. Cuz we didn't have shotguns. Oh my God it's hilarious I laugh so hard.😂😂😂🎉😂😂😂
But he said. Not only the moves that you made, to make life go through easier. At someone else's expense. And you did it so well. So kind. I hope my mother is looking down feeling bad at the way she treated you. Because out of all the women and my family. You truly give a loving foundation to our family name.. that made me cry.
She is low maintence other then the ring.. therefore she isn't worth it? She sounds reasonable.
@@vsm5787Okay congratulations for having a holier than thou attitude but let people have their own preferences, they want expensive ring let them have it, no questions need to ask it’s not your business, if you want cheaper ones then go for it. The point is they want what they want you want what you want, do you want cookies or medals for such a poetic “I’m better than you” speech?
Some peoples love can afford to buy their significant other an expensive one because that’s how they value them, for THEM that’s their symbol of how much they love them, willing to give everything what they can.
@15:00 it IS lying Charlotte; it is called ‘lying by omission’. Couldn’t be any more true in this instance. Basically she wanted to trap her husband in a marriage before he realized she couldn’t have kids, and then hope he stayed.
A wife is not entitled to have children…..
"Just because I didn't tell you, doesn't mean I lied" is infuriating.
Yep. Last story, ETAH. Brother was a cad for what he said; sister, doubly so for becoming engaged without discussing this with her fiancé, presuming to go into marriage with the untruth; and fiancé, for never insisting that such an important issue got settled. I'm 8 years older than my husband - he was 23 when we met and 25 when we married - and I made damn sure to tell him that I already had prohibitive health issues and that biological/genetic children were not likely (this was 30 years ago, before surrogacy was a thing). He married me anyway. He married ME, not my uterus. Some people ain't got the sense that God gave a doorknob. Thanks for bringing this up, Charlotte.
Edit: spelling.
Relationships are tricky. What I’m surprised by is the numerous red flags that are ignored until the thought of getting married occurs. It’s like people are passive in every aspect then suddenly have standards when finalizing permanent arrangements.
Sometimes those red flags aren't prominent until things get more serious unfortunately. People can be really manipulative and make you think your in the wrong
I think people are so afraid of being alone they will ignore red flags until engagement. After engagement, people are so afraid of marriage/divorce, they start realizing being alone may not be so scary in comparison.
I will never understand the obsession with expensive rings. Like if you can afford it and want to, there's nothing wrong with doing so. I told my husband I didn't want anything crazy because I'd rather that money be spent on like a house....which is what we ended up doing.
As a South African, I can confirm that the first guy is in trouble because of a great marketing campaign by De Beers. Connecting a woman's sense of value to a diamond, so you can sell a ring for higher than a minors annual salary.
10k for a ring is insane. I get that wedding stuff is expensive but some of you act like it's forbidden to buy a normal priced ring for a wedding. Who wants to be 10k in debt and only have a ring to show for? I even think 10k for a whole wedding is too much. Everyone is always like "Boohooo, got no money" but throwing said non-existent money around just to celebrate one lousy day. You just don't havenproper financial education if you think that going into deot for a wedding is normal. It's just not. Ppl who want their SO to go into debt for them for an effing piece of jewelry is just materialistic AF.
100%. Minus the AF
10000 with a 80000 salary is affordable unless you suck at budgeting. You could literally pay it off in the 1st year of marriage.
I can sympathize with the woman that didnt disclose that she cant have kids due to cancer. I'm in the same boat. Cancer has already taken enough away from us, yet still finds ways to take more. As much as it shouldn't be, it's embarrassing to have to admit that my body doesn't work how it should. I've literally had a guy break up with me, even with him knowing all of my medical history, by telling me he needs to be with a woman that can do the one thing a woman should be able to do (i dodged a bullet with that one). So I get her hesitation, but still agree it should have been brought up sooner.
This kind of information should absolutely be made upfront in relationships if any questions about kids happens. It's unfair to lead someone on that wants kids and goes blissfully unaware that it can't happen but of course you wouldn't make it your opening statement on a first date. Even if the question of kids arises, simply saying you know you won't want to have kids instead of going into medical stuff could work. The story specifically says the guy had asked about kids many times and she had avoided the question. The moral of the story is make sure the person you spend years of your life with is someone that's happy with everything or else you make them angry and feel lied to and both of you have wasted years of your life Inca relationship that would never have worked and that time could have been spent finding your soulmate
I am perfectly healthy and I adopted. There are millions of children in need and mortality rates for pregnancy in the west are on the rise, sorry not sorry, still a woman. And a mom. 🎉
@@bettersecret1499 More power to you, im glad you are happy. I have personally always wanted my own biological children so when i dated i would make sure that whoever i was with aligned with that or else it wouldnt work. Adoption is a great thing and me and my wife are considering it in some years once our 2 little ones are older to have a third without needing to go through the pregnancy stuff again. Who said mortality rates for pregnancy are on the rise though? Searching, they seem to be pretty flat overall with minimal changes. Even during covid it was barely affected.
Wow from what you described you really dodged a big bullet 😮
I hope you will find/found someone who appreciates and loves you for you 😊
@@bettersecret1499why the "sorry, not sorry" after the mortality rate is on the rise in the west? Like...? So you're ok with women dying before/during/after child birth. Or nah? Maybe that was meant to be after being "perfectly healthy and still adopted". Let's hope. Because if not, we should pray for that poor child you adopted.
As someone that has fertility issues in the family, I had the conversation as soon as we started to get serious because I didn’t want to fall in love just to break my heart later if that was a deal breaker
I also have fertility issues and really never wanted kids anyways. My ex and I spoke about this before we got married. I gave him an out: if kids are a deal breaker, then we don't have to get married. He was all like "it's fine," until it wasn't. We were divorced 18 months later.
@@Claudia-lq3ns sorry to hear that! Sounds like he may not have been honest with himself about his dealbreakers
Friend of mine gave in and got an expensive ring. Then she asked for a second cheaper one to wear daily cause she felt uncomfortable walking around with something so valuable. Love the hoops people jump through to justify good ol greed.
I have a moissanite ring and I love it! It only cost my husband 450 and then the wedding band was 270. I picked them out myself because I really wanted a ring that I liked, and I told him I didn't want an expensive ring because if we were ever going through a hard time financially, it would be too much temptation not to pawn my ring for the money. I literally look at my ring all the time and just admire how beautiful it is. I don't regret my descision ever.
I'm completely with the guy that told the fiancé that he couldn't have kids. The way he said it was gross but he deserved to know BEFORE getting into a marriage
For the first story: I'm gonna be honest but the argument that he should buy an expensive ring (with the only point being that it's expensive and not because it looks better) because she took care of his needs when he couldn't take care of himself, sounds incredibly transactional. Additionally, to compare an engagement ring with getting support after a car accident seems off.
I read it more in the terms that she apparently didn't think or care about the money or being transactional when doing things for him.
While he's the one doing it now - judging, evaluating and determining the monetary worth of her one explicit request.
In the background of this all, he seems very happy that they have been on the same page so far. And that's great. But their first major disagreement is about money, he made it so, and he doesn't seem that much into compromising. Probably good this happened now.
I agree with the guy that no one is worth a 10k ring. Also, no ring is really worth that much anyway… Making 80K a year does not make him Mr. Moneybags, especially if he was flat out broke 4 years before. She can make up the price difference with her family’s money if they’re so well off
Especially as he may prioritize buying a house and having savings
Let's be real, it's about appearance.
I agree it sounds superficial at first. And I worked as a jeweler at Kay's jeweler's for a while so I know all about the "diamonds" they are literally a dime a dozen. Its like buying a car fresh off the lot. They lose appreciation as soon as you purchase them. You can resale gold and silver but no one cares about diamonds lol. Its really messed up. Unless it is a rare diamond that is pink or red then you have literally nothing after you buy it. Its actually not a bad idea to buy a precious stone like sapphire which is a step down from hardness from a diamond. Even with all of that info I still agree with the fiancee. She feels that she is worth it. Thats all there is to it. She wants to feel worth it. She wants to be shown that all of her work into this man is going to give her what she feels is is worth it and the diamond that she wants. He either bites the bullet and does it or just maintains his stance. I personally think she is worth it but there are other options that will give you the same result with a much less price point.
My in laws were gracious enough to pay for our wedding and made it much nicer than my husband and I would have been able to afford on our own (the original plan). They offered after we had paid for some of it and even reimbursed us. They NEVER impeded on the planning decisions but only added more extende family to our fuest list than we would have but we were find with that because it was their bill. I will always be greatful to them for not only making a gorgeous wedding possible for us but also for being entirely lovely during the peocess and during our later marriage. They treat me better than my own parents do which has also been amazing to feel adopted by these lovely and generous people.
I used the 1000$ my man had saved up for a ring and I bought 15 different simulated diamond rings. Now I have interchangeable rings and they are all beautiful. Although they tell you don't wash or use handsanitizer with them on, I do! I have also renovated a house with them on the entire time only taking them off for paint or stain. They have lasted through alllll of that without a freaking scratch!!!! Ladies quit falling for the trap of a real diamond ring, buy a car or something with that extra money!!!!! Frfr
Story 1: she comes from a well off family while OP grew up poorer. He may be able to afford it now, but he doesn’t want to nor think it is ok to spend that much on one piece of jewelry. That’s ok to have that mindset because if he were to ever lose that job, he’d still have $5,000- $8,500 that he didn’t spend on a wedding ring. He did make a poor choice in wording, but I’d never spend $6500-$10,000 for one single ring. It could be saved up for more important things like unexpected issues in a house or save up for a rainy day
This not not ab saving money nor ab not being able to afford the ring,he look like he can afford the ring just fine ,this is just what kind of man he is ,"why would I buy her the ring just cuz she helped me out a FEW years ago" ungrateful and calculative man ,a man that cant be trusted
@@fatisummer9106 I’m not saying that. I’m saying because she comes from a richer family, she doesn’t know why it’s generally not a good idea to spend a crap time on the ring
@@TsukiKageTora Assuming just bcuz she is from "rich" family that she doesn't know the value of money is just ur own biased opinion, it is far away from the truth, and this dude who refuses to pay 10K for wedding ring for his future wife could be the same guy who will be more than willing to spend more on a watch or expensive car for himself, cuz he "worth" it !!
@@fatisummer9106 being ungrateful that the ring wasn’t the amount you wanted to have spent? She isn’t good for him and he isn’t good for her, both sound terrible in general. But you’ll probably argue with me that the wife is in the right because of some sexism you have
@@TsukiKageTora he is UNGRATEFUL bcuz he think that the good thing she did for him means nothing just bcuz they were a FEW YEARS ago,if someone does something good to you ,these things lose value with time;what a Logic , he is ungrateful,on top of being calculative person,
When he broke his bones she should have dumped him, why caring for jobless , sick person and spend all money on medication, free rent ....
Since we love measuring ppl worthiness of thing ;tell how much money she could "saved" then since he was pretty "worthless" and she could have "saved" a lot of money there ,
But she wasn't as calculative as him , he doesn't deserve HER
My first husband thought rings were stupid and wouldn't give me one at all. Finally, his mom gave him his grandma's gold band to give to me... for me it wasn't about the ring, it was about the symbolism. I told him many times he could just get one at the thrift store for $10, it was just the symbol that mattered to me because it showed the world that we belonged to eachother. Fast forward (we got divorced after 10 horrible years filled with disrespect and abuse) and I met my current husband. He was a bit traumatized by his first 2 marriages so wasn't into marriage. After 3 years of me asking him to marry me every 6 months (trust me, he's a keeper) he decided he was ready to take the leap, a 3rd time. We went to our local jewelry shop and got two silver rings, priced $30 each. We are both so happy and we've been together for 11 years. My husband grew up poor, I grew up middle class. Neither of us would be into diamonds for ethical reasons (Diamonds need to be a thing of the past. If your partner thinks the blood of enslaved children isn't a good enough reason to skip the diamond... I would run.). Also, the $10k could go to something more meaningful, like a home! Or save it for retirement! What it all comes down to is these two needed to have this conversation and this argument, so that they can learn how to have hard conversations about things that are emotionally charged. Most marriages are full of stressful arguments. You can't take 2 totally different adults, put them in a home together and expect them to get along and understand eachother all the time. HOW you disagree with eachother is more important, and he needs to communicate to her that her demand makes him feel like he's not worthy because he grew up poor and is reluctant to jeopardize their comfort and security, and she needs to explain why it is important to her, and then they can find a solution. He needs to make it clear to her that it's not about her worth... no woman should feel she is "worth" the price of her ring... that's obscene and sexist, not to mention he can't afford a ring that is truly her worth. Her worth is infinite, hence his desire to spend the rest of his life with her. He needs to explain that if it really makes her feel badly to have a ring under $10k he's happy to keep working and postpone the engagement until he has the money. And she needs to express to him why it's important to her, and maybe that will help. I know someone who does wedding ring workshops, where you learn to make eachother's rings together! I think that's a super sweet option, and would allow them to each have a ring that is truly priceless. You know, or design a ring and have it made by an Etsy seller or a local jeweler.
Lab grown diamonds are also ok. My engagement ring is lab grown for both monetary and ethical concerns.
I agree with this entirely! I feel like they really need to have a proper conversation about the whole ring issue. I personally could never feel comfortable walking around with a 10k ring. I agree that the symbolism is wayyyyy more important to me than anything else, so I personally really love the idea of going to a local jeweler and designing something together. That way you can get something you really love at a price point you are comfortable with and can avoid the whole unfortunate blood diamond issue. The demand for an expansive ring and feeling like her worth was tied to the cost of the ring really didn't sit well with me.
@@MoonJellyontheMoon It's not the symbolism. He isn't objecting because of some sense of morality. He's "dated" this woman for four years, used her for her connections, and is now bored. End of story.
As a man, I would feel very uncomfortable with buying such an expensive ring.
Why?
My fear would be that someone would attack my wife in order to steal it. And if that happened, I would feel guilty.
And if she was killed in the robbery, I would never forgive myself.
My mother has a $6000 ring and she’s said multiple times that I shouldn’t get one that expensive. She has nightmares about it constantly.
Things to make sure you are on the same page about before engagement (even before any long relationship continues): boundaries, children, finances, and what it means to be married/in the relationship. Many other conversations stem from these key points. It’s a pretty big thing to not be capable of having kids (man or woman) and not tell someone who may potentially want to have kids. Not that kids are the only point of a relationship but it’s something that is important to some people
For that first story, I would not frame it as “he doesn’t think she’s worth the money” (I suspect if she had medical bills or education debt that was 8-10K, he’d willingly contribute).
I think it’s more that a *ring* isn’t worth that bill.
And honestly, I’m more inclined to agree with him. My ring was around $1500, and even *that* was verging on audacious for me.
I can't get over these prizes for rings, holy cow.
I proposed to my Fiancee with a ring that was like 10 euros, just so I had something cause I didn't know his ring size. ( my guess for ring size was right btw :D )
After that we went and got actual rings and those were 50 euros per ring.
1500 for an engagement ring is CRAZY
Why does the engagement ring need to be SO expensive when you're gonna replace it later on with a wedding ring anyway?
Right on! The Irish had it right in the olden days - a Claddagh ring was used as an engagement AND wedding ring! It depends on which way the point on the heart is facing, one way means you’re engaged and the other way means married. So much simpler!
In the us, engage rings and wedding bands usually go together and are made to be welded together. Most, not all, are like that.
For someone who grew up well off, a $6k to $10k engagement ring is probably mid price. For her, it may not be transactional, it's what she was brought up to expect.
Not to her, but is to him. He "owes" her? Despite his marriage proposal? That's obviously not good enough for her.
@@druidriley3163reminding him that he owes her YEARS into the relationship is incredibly disgusting imo. What, she's gonna remind him for the rest of his life?
I know the Engagement Ring story is more complicated than this, but as someone who grew up in large and poor family: $1,000+ for just the engagement ring is mindblowing! Even if you can afford it, I would be terrified to wear it, and potentially loose it, because of how much it costs! The dimond rings with $6,000+ price tags would be SO MUCH WORSE! And thats just for the Engagement ring, not even the WEDDING ring! Wouldnt he be expected to spend more on the actual wedding ring? Unless people dont really get two different rings anymore?? Because I know people with both situations, where the engagement ring becomes the wedding ring, and where they get both an engagement ring and a wedding ring for the future wife! My Grandma has a really cool set where a engagement ring and wedding ring link together on her finger to become a bigger ring. And while they were expensive, they weren't even close to the $6,000 dollar range when they were bought, even when you take inflation into account. (Both rings also have real dimonds, and other precious stones.) You can get beautiful real diamond rings for less than the $6,000+ price tag, and the fact that she was upset that he said he couldn't afford it?? 🤨 I know there is a lot more to the situation, but come on.
Well technically he didn't say he can't afford it. He feels she isn't "worth" that much. But I completely agree with you. No way I would want a ring that expensive on my finger. I care more about sentiment than price.
@@mssimgirl No, he said no one is worth a. $10,000 ring. He worded it very wrong. The most important thing is how you convey your message.
Personally, I don't think the cost of the ring should matter at all. I had been gifted a ring by my grandmother that I loved and my man knew that, so he secretly had it resized and popped the question with it. I was so happy! Then when it came to buying our wedding rings, his cost under $300 and my two bands (one all small diamonds and one solid gold, joined together) only cost $500. We both love them and feel its what they symbolize that matters most. I also think if your partner is obsessed with how much you are spending on them, RUN! That's a red flag for sure!!!
Agree 100%. My engagement ring was 100 euros. I loved it. Our marriage rings were in total around 500 euros. They are beautiful rings - I wold not change them for any 10k diamond ring.
17:30 it sounds like she withheld the info at first to protect herself, then had no idea how to break it to him
My ring was $1,500. It's a sapphire in the middle and 2 diamonds on the side and I was perfectly happy with it. Here we are 20 years and 2 kids later and my husband and I are still very much in love. It's not about the ring and it's not even really about the wedding (though both are important) it's about the marriage. Marriage is HARD (legit a full time job!) To be fair I would have wanted a real diamond if I were her but would not demand to have 10k ring
There's a great deal of difference between taking care of an injured person, and getting someone a Blood Diamond, as opposed to a man-made diamond
👆👆👆👆👆
Also, the arguments about how “she’s already selflessly taken care of him in sickness and in health now it’s his turn to pay her back” defeats the entire purpose of “selflessly” doing anything for anyone else if all you’re doing is keeping score. You either do things selflessly out of love or you do them transactionally expecting it to paid back eventually- in which case, don’t act like you’re doing it out of the goodness of your heart.
The one with the mother in law: note there is no mention of a father in law, she is going to be the third person in your marriage. He is a mama’s boy.
RE: Diamond ring - get an antique ring! They're a little more affordable and ethical, and tend to have some super unique settings.
Story 1:
I don't really agree. I think that the whole argument would've make sense if she was feeling entitled to choose the destination of the honeymoon, the reception or things like that. But expecting to be payed back for something you did for your partner (having the means to do so btw) sets the ground for a grossly transactional relationship. If you think like that you will be keeping mental checks for what everyone has done economically and emotionally for the other one and will live a life where your marriage is a job, not a relationship. You should do stuff for your partner because you want to, not to have something to hold as blackmail to get what you want.
She didn’t expect him to pay her back though. She just wanted a diamond ring that ranged between $6k- $10k. Then later agreed and let him to decide. It was his sister who brought up everything his gf did for him. His gf never calculated with him.
@catl1705 🙄
That's exactly what they are saying though. Well I did this for you so you owe me this ring.
i can never understand pricey ring drama. if the relationship is strong, a £20 ring off of a market stall would do. its meant to be symbolic, and honestly £1100 (about $1800) is already a crazy amount to me. i would legit feel nervous to own something like that. a single item that's supposed to represent an entire relationship for £6000? and the pressure of it for him, having to use a ring to essentially represent the monitory value of an entire relationship? Her investing into the relationship was her choice and should not be used as some sort of trade-off for a big rock down the line. The whole relationship sounds like a car crash waiting to happen if they're both putting this much weight on a bloody piece of jewelry over the value of a 4 year relationship. also its not 1910 anymore, in most modern relationships both partners are earners. why is the bloke expected to fork over thousands for a ring and she's not. its bonkers!
That's how I feel. I feel like her attitude about it is wrong. Like, You should have done that stuff out of the kindness of your heart, and not expect anything for it. Also, the ring is one part of hte wedding. He still has the rest to contribute too AND their entire life. Too put it all on a ring is dumb. A ring is useless itself, it won't do anything for you. You shouldn't even need a ring, your mouth can tell people your married, you don't NEED a ring to prove it. ( I am a married woman that never wears a ring and we cool with it). Too pressure him to spend money he isn't comfortable with is an issue. Especially, as I said, there is more of the wedding you know she will expect him to pay for OR expect him to not have a say in.
I heard that and I was like "holy shit f*ckin 10k?????" Then again I also told my bf he could propose to me w a fuckin ring pop and I would be the happiest person alive
Lets remember we are only hearing his side of it though.
Also it's not the gf saying she wants it as a trade off.
From what he choose to divulge from the sisters reaction I'm thinking the drama might be more over how _he_ is saying she isn't _worth_ it. There are 100% better ways to phrase it, if you however do decide to phrase it like that then yeah... then you invited the tits for thats.
I could never imagine wearing a dismond ring, but I also couldn't imagine being with someone who straight up called me unworthy of one.
I feel the same. My husband got me an antique diamond ring from a friend that's a jeweler (he only calculated some of the old and gifted the stone and services for free). It was €120 or something and I LOVE it! I would be really upset if he would spend more than a month's wage on it. Our wedding was around €20.000, that's kinda extravagant in Portugal, and I would be sad if he HAD to spend another 10K on a ring.
The whole argument of "he can afford it, so why does it matter" is such rich people view of the world.
Wedding minister here. It really doesn't matter what ring you choose for engagement or wedding band. Many of my couples choose Moisionite (?spelling) or some other stone that's not a diamond. Some for financial reasons, some because they want something "different." And guess what? If you really mean your Vows, 'til death do you part, you can always upgrade on an anniversary when you're more stable financially, and maybe have found a style of ring you like better.
The girl at 10:10 needs to run 🏃♀️. Fast.
the woman who gave her fiancé wifey treatmeant honestly is worth as many diamonds as she wants.
edit; to clairify i was saying she absolutely deserves better than how her partner is treating her, sure i should have worded it better and not compared her worth to diamonds, but i genuinely couldn't think of any other way to phrase it at the time.
$10,000.00 dollars on a ring is a huge waste of money. People are starving, animals are suffering. A ring like that is just embarrassing. Besides, she will lose it within 3 years, or her tastes will change.
no, shes not. shes worth the same treatment. she pent omoney on him in a LIFE OR DEATH situation. a ring is not life or death. shes worth all the money she spent on him, but not in the form of a ring
@@user-ff5zm7ic4v im aware she deserves her money back in more than just a ring, my comment was implying she should buy HERSELF something she wants cause shes worth more than what that man is saying shes worth.
When I married my late wife, our rings cost less than £100 in total.
We got married in the USA, where our wedding cost $25 for the license. She was American, I am British.
There was just us, the Pastor and two witnesses.
The witnesses treated us to a meal to celebrate.
Having said that, paying for a spousal visa, flights, and other expenses related to her to coming live in the UK with me was in the region of about £4K and this was in 1999. In today’s money that is about $11k.
So although the rings were cheap, the amount of money spent to enable us to marry, was not much different from the $10k ring.
So for us the ring was much less important than the visa and other related costs.
Of course it would have been nice to spend more on a ring, but being together was far more important. Neither of us ever regretted having inexpensive rings.
We shared a wonderful 18 years together.
🥰🥰
An engagement ring is a symbol of your love and at 26 years old your life has just started and saving your money is more important than the price of the ring. He still has time to “pay her back “ through out life. I’ve had 3 strokes and my fiance spent $1800 on a ring he designed exactly like I’d love rose gold with butterflies and no one on this planet has the same ring. My fiance has taken physical care of me those things are more important than an expensive ring. I know how much he loves me and there’s also upgraded rings after 10yrs…
That's good and all, but that's not what this lady wants. What you eat doesn't make other's sht.
Thank you! She sounds great for taking care of him, paying rent & helping him get a job (though acting like she’s the only reason he makes so much is ridiculous-she helped him get the job but he worked to keep it & earn that money) but a ring isn’t a thank you-the promise of the happy, loving life is, him working hard to make her feel loved & cherished, being there for her, that should be the thank you, all of which can be promised with a more affordable & practical ring.
Not to mention he could take her on a fantastic holday/honeymoon as a thank you, or put it to a wonderful life together. (The money market can crash & having savings/holdings is much better than an expensive ring that would be worthless if the market had crashed)
(Obviously just my opinion that he’s not TA, he worded what he said badly & she is allowed to want what she wants, but I do wonder why she wants it to be so expensive, would a lab grown diamond, which is more affordable & ethical be acceptable to her, that’s what is confusing to me)
Your ring sounds beautiful & utterly perfect & unique ✨🦋✨
Nah I think it’s about giving your partner something they would love. This mentality of “our money would be better for something that builds our life” is applied if you literally do not have enough options available. Why sacrifice a reliable car for an engagement ring? But that’s not the case here. People buy themselves PS5 and trips to Disney land like that shit does nothing to build a future together but it’s what they love. I don’t see why someone with privilege should have to lose out in that.
I get the feeling that he's probably not very appreciative of her in general or at least doesn't show it. That's why she wants him to show his appreceation at least with the ring. It's not about the ring but he's lack of appreciation. I bet if he would organise a nice vacation or start showinf his love in other ways, she wouldn't mind a cheaper ring.
I would be appalled at myself if I made my husband go into debt. I got the ring I wanted, which was unique and custom for a very reasonable price (I am not a diamond lover). 80K take home is 50K. Minus expenses, isn't a lot. The start of a marriage is not the time for debt. There is no set rules for this, and it is a faulty mindset that the dude has to pay so much. But what he should be is grateful and come up with a solution with her.
I couldn’t imagine having my fiancé spend more than $300 on an engagement ring. We spent $700 on a set that came with my engagement ring and our wedding bands. Its so crazy to me that people spend so much money on engagement rings. That’s not what marriage is about.
10k on an engagement ring seems so insane to me, because she's going to want an even better wedding right I assume.
Well you do you. People have things they want and don't shame them for what they want
@@vanny3129 There’s just no sense in doing that. Total waste of money and then you gotta buy the bands too. That’s too much to ask of your partner. Now, if it’s their spouses idea, go for it.
But demanding a 10k ring out of someone else’s hard earned money shows so much entitlement.
@@scrapbookee8647 Exactly, it’s the entitlement meant for Me. No one should hold their self value over how much money is spent on a ring
Personally, it's not about any set amount. It's all based on what ur partner can afford (a $500 ring from someone who makes, say, $500,000 a year is insulting). Second, he's saying she's not "worth that much." Pair that with how she HAS shown she is in fact worth that. Yeah, he's an AH
The onus of responsibility lands on the two fiances to report any problems such as not being able to have children. Period.
I'd be mad if my man DID pay $10k for any jewelry! 20 years married, I proudly wear a stunning triple opal 10k white gold ring, which cost less than $150!
I’d rather use the 10k for a down payment on a home
How are the opals doing, I love them but I always let jewelers talk me out of them because they say they're "soft".
An opal engagement ring would be gorgeous. As someone who would prefer a more unique ring (re: not a diamond), that’s something to think about
Right?! That would honestly make me worried we had incompatible values and priorities 😅
@@jennyanswer42 they're still stunning!! I usually don't wear them when showering but for everything else, I do!
a $10k engagement ring would make me feel like it was going to get stolen everytime i left the house, even IF the ring itself didn't have a HUGE diamond in it. 😬
Can’t even get through the first story: love is not transactional, you’re supposed to care for loved ones. You don’t owe them anything just because they were there for you through hard times. I say that as someone who’s been there for my family through it all, I don’t expect any payment from them for it because that’s absurd. If you care about someone, you shouldn’t be “burdened” with caring for them when they need you.
She also had the option after the car accident to just wish him well instead of caring for him and could’ve still stayed with him. The fact she’s weaponizing caring for him during that time or at least the sister is and she might silently be in agreement on deserving an expensive ring because of that gesture, tells me she’s resentful of all she’s done for him which is a red flag.
Comparing an expensive engagement ring (not necessary at all) to nursing somebody who got into a car wreck back to health (when it’s uncertain whether he asked for that very necessary support) is ludicrous.
Yeeeessss! My thoughts exactly! I actually can not believe how many are on her side just because she cares for him in his time of need. Maybe for the 20th anniversary but not engagement ring.
Wasn't it OP's sister who reminded OP what his girlfriend did for him?
13:40 Ordinarily, I’m not one for sharing your siblings’ stories with their significant others. But when it comes to things like fertility, that’s the kind of thing that SOs should know about.
I have to agree with the guy about the $10k engagement ring. That's multiple months of a mortgage. That is a downpayment on a new car. With how expensive diamonds are, and taking into consideration the ethics of sourcing, one can get a ring of a different stone that is just as gorgeous and big, if not more so, than a diamond for a fraction of the price. My current ring from my husband is actually my birthstone, which makes it even more beautiful and meaningful to me. Girlie needs to reevaluate her priorities and realize that diamonds are not the only way to go.
Yeah I don't really understand how normalized it is to spend 10k on a ring that could be spent toward a house or a car is absolutely mind blowing to me. Clearly she's amazing but her priorities are, imo, really messed up. That being said, it's ridiculous he didn't feel any need to make sure she feels 100% paid back for what she spent on taking care of him.
@@deathsheadcashew “paid back” implies taking score. The worst thing to do in a relationship.
@@qwinlyn you're 100% right, I think even making sure she feels appreciated for it even works as a general statement as well. Sounds like it stayed in the back of her mind and she's just materialistic enough that she saw the ring as an equivalent, instead of talking to him. I also can't imagine not making sure someone who did that for me didn't know how much I appreciated what they did.
As I said in a comment thread here in regards to the woman who couldn't have children:
Being too embarrassed to be vulnerable around the person she is with already shows that the relationship needed work.
If I can't discuss all of my fears, worries, doubts, and shortcomings with my person... They're not my person.
I was diagnosed with cancer and went through chemo treatments (I'm in remission). The doctors told me that there's a big chance I could never have kids.
Why would I EVER waste someone's time, hopes, effort, etc by leaving out such a key piece of information?!?!?
It should be discussed on the FIRST date if they hope to have a family in the future or not. Specifics can be brought up later if they are in alignment.
Otherwise, this leads to unnecessary heartbreak.
I couldn't care less about ring prices. Anyone who has a hissy about a RING is ridiculous in my mind.
I'm binging your content recently and the incoherent judge noises SENT ME 😂😂😂 you're hilarious
So, regarding the first AITA - I completely agree that he should be more flexible about the cost of the engagement ring, especially in light of the fact that she looked after him financially after his accident. She absolutely sounds like she'd be an awesome wife and he's really lucky to have her. What he needs to understand is that an engagement ring is not like any other piece of jewellery; it's special and will be worn every day.
Having said that, £/$10k is a lot of money (even if you can afford it) and I understand his hesitancy. I recently got engaged and my fiance and I are currently saving for a house, so I'm in a very similar position. Although he earns well, initially we'd agreed on a £1k budget for the ring, and he ended up surprising me with something *a lot* more expensive (which we got on a ridiculously good deal). I would have been happy with something cheaper (every one is different, I fully recognise that), but it meant a lot that he was willing to splurge a bit on me for an important piece of jewellery.
What I was also concerned about was that we were eating into the savings we were building for a house. What I'm driving at is that it's about balance, priorities, and compromise. Clearly the ring is important to her, but they can both do a lot to meet in the middle here on price, especially given the current economy. It's also worth taking your time to shop around - this is not a purchase you rush.
A good compromise is making it close to 4-6k by using lab grown diamonds instead. Lower than her range, but it's what she wants, and closer to his mental budget!
Yeah there NEEDS to be a compromise here or the marriage shouldn't happen.. She gave so much to him, he is right that 10k for a ring is ridiculous, however if she wants a diamond, get her a diamond. It doesn't have to be expensive if you're thinking of future savings. I've never agreed with expensive engagement rings, the wedding ring is more important, that ring should be more expensive. Engagement is a promise, but the wedding ring is the knot tied, that means more than a promise to do something.
I don’t think I will ever understand super expensive rings, or any other jewelry actually. Why does it matter how much is spent on it? Nobody is worth a 10k ring, that’s ridiculous 🤯 and why would she need to be paid back for being there for him? Isn’t that what a partnership is? So materialistic
6:27 Cool, now lets do what I call, poor math. $10,000 for a metal band and a shiny rock is $10,000 less for a house deposit, or $10,000 less for the wedding planning, or $10,000 less for the dress, a car, medical expenses, broken white goods... And yea he has the money to afford it NOW. That doesn't mean he'll suddenly have had a change in his perception of money, value and worth that growing up less fortunate trains into people and that continuing on to have a pretty low miniatous life and GF has helped enforce.
The widely cited 'traditional' rule (from a marketing campaign that was designed to get men to spend more on wedding rings) was it should be 3 months salary, so if we were to go by that the ring should cost him no more than $6,666.67.
my fiancé bought me an 100$ engagement ring. i was so grateful
I’m cheap as hell, my engagement ring was $150 😂 I just wanted something that wouldn’t turn my finger green. That was my only requirement
You’re no better than anyone else lol chill
Lol yea it's the meaning of the ring and the ring can always grow as y'all grow.
@@sarabrenton6364why would you think they’re insinuating they’re better than other people because they don’t require an expensive ass engagement ring? That’s weird. I think expecting a $10k ring sounds like you think YOU’RE better than others.
Agreed, money saved on exorbitant engagement rings and /or lavish weddings make great down payments towards a condo or house, something I prioritize at a much higher level.
My engagement ring was expensive because I literally can't wear cheap metal stuff , it makes my skin itch 😂 I am unwillingly a gold digger 😂😂
In the early stages of my relationship with my husband before we got married 10 years later, I made it very clear that I didn't want to have children. I made that decision when I was 16 (I'm 34 now). Thankfully, he didn't want them either. 15 years together and we still don't want kids. Not to mention, found out I can't have kids, it is what it is. Make it clear at the beginning of your relationships, before it starts to become too serious!
Exactly!!
I've been with my bf for 6 years. 2 or 3 years ago I realized I don't want kids. I told him right away and said that I understood if he left, because it's something I'll never give him and I don't want him to resent me. Months later I talked to him about it again just to make sure he understood that I will never change my mind. Both times he said he didn't care and he'd be happy with a family of pets. Communication is key for any relationship to work out. Love isn't enough if both don't have the same goals regarding their relationship.
@@Tinyballofmadness Agreed
Do people still do both engagement and wedding rings? For the first story, I feel an easy solution would be to have a conversation about getting an affordable ring to propose with, and then saving up to get an expensive diamond ring for the wedding (that way all wedding cost are accounted for).
When she helped him after the accident, she should have made him sign a repayment contract. 😂😂😂
Totally disagree on the 10k ring. That is way too expensive. Tons of people lose their wedding rings on accident. That is half the cost of a small home in some places.
Where do you live? Wehre I live, you'll get maybe a garage door for that Money
Naaaaah did you hear what she did for him in the relationship? And the fact he said “she is not worth the money” disgusting
@Soundtraxzz what? Anything any caring person would do for someone? I mean what she did was nice, don't get me wrong, but it's wasn't extraordinary by any means. And kind of sounds like she benefitted by helping him the way she did, so it's not like she hasn't already been paid back in some way. She isn't some Saint. She just turned out to be an shallow person when it comes to the symbol of love, since she obviously needs something she can show off to her friends and family. We all have our flaws.
@@honestyisadyingvirtuewhat the fuck are you on? How did she benefit from spending thousands on his ass, housing him for free, feeding him, paying his medical bills and getting him an 80k job? This man owes everything he has to her, he is a parasite and she should dump the loser.
The difference for the ring post is that you don't NEED a ring that's absurdly expensive. Yes, she's clearly selfless enough to provide for her boyfriend by helping him out financially for things that were a necessity (health expenses) for him to get better. He handled the situation so poorly, though. Big no no on saying no one is worth a 10k ring, but she is asking for something that costs money that they could put away for something genuinely worth it, aka the wedding, wedding dress, a house, a car, or future kids or trips. It's a WANT at the end of the day, very different from a need. Also, they could start out with something on the less expensive side and then upsize the diamond(s) later. My husband and I have done exactly that, not because I wanted to, but because he wants to when he's able to make the expense outside of paying bills, etc.
idk what it is about the turkey voice but “I MAKE THE RULES IN MY COURTROOM” has me rolling
When my husband and I got married we had already been living together for 4 years. We had joint bank accounts and finances. Very little changed after marriage except our tax filing status.
If HE spent $10k on a ring for me it meant WE spent $10k on a ring for me when would have been absolutely unacceptable. We had far more important things to spend money on as a couple. If he had spent more than a couple hundred on my ring I would have made him return it, and he knew me well enough to know that. We’ve been together for almost 20 years now.
Also, if you do something nice for someone else expecting to be paid pack, it’s not being selfless or charitable- it’s being transactional in the worst way possible, because you aren’t even having the decency to be clear about your intentions.
"You're not obligated, but you should feel obligated." This marriage is doomed already if shit like that is the move.
I hate when people say stuff like this. Me, personally, I'd be happy with a ring that didn't turn my finger green and was thoughtful. Let's take the $$ that would be spent on a ring and put it towards a honeymoon or house. Like it's not that deep. I wouldn't want to spend more that $3k on a ring if I were a guy
Context was super important in this situation lol
@@dct90210Same! Save the money from an expensive ring/ expensive wedding and use it on a house and or nice honeymoon
@@mandystephens8258and lots of context was still missing
she helped him so selflessly, only to guilt him into buying a stupid 10k ring...
My ring is gold plated sterling silver with a faux ruby. I got it for $6 and love it so much. Expensive rings aren't necessary, but the guy might want to discern why one is so very important to his girlfriend. It doesn't sound like he's bothered to ask. It might not even be about the time and money she sacrificed in the past, which is plenty tbh. Her reasoning might run even deeper 🤷♀️
My husband went to my SILs wedding in May of 2023, evey five minutes of the reception, someone came up to me and asked me when my hubby and I were having kids, the first two times I explained our fertility issues, but as the night progressed, the comments and questions started to bother me, we've been married from almost 6 years and don't have kids, not from lack of trying, I was angry and hurt, upset, especially since my other sil has a daughter and she had one on the way, people would not stop bringing it up, to the point where the wedding was ruined for me, at the end of the night, my hubby had to take me on a walk where I bursed into tears, cause it's something we've been seriously struggling with, his grandma told me "I expect you to be pregnant next time I see you." (she died 8 months later, we never saw her alive again) I get innocent questions, but I was asked when I'm having kids, why I don't have them yet, did you know other sil was pregnant again, arent you excited, it was exhausting,
Now, when I look back at that day, I don't think of my sil getting married, all I can think of is that my husbands extended family just sees me as an incubater, I can tell by how they treated me. That day is forever ruined for me, I tried to enjoy the fun wedding, but the constant questions and comments made me want to shrink up and die, it was so embarrassing.
7:54 She stepped on consecutive Legos 😅