I Cheated On My Partner... Now What?
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- čas přidán 27. 06. 2024
- Confused about what to text him? Just copy and paste any of these 9 texts - bit.ly/1EpQNbm
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In this week's episode of LOVELife, I take my first question on the show from a guy. Kenny's messed up his relationship with the mother of his child, and we discuss what he can do to move past this tough situation.
Video links at the end -
How To Win Back His Trust: • How to Win Back His Trust
How To Recover After An Argument: • How To Recover After A...
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Website: howtogettheguy.com
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Matthew, you deserve standing ovation for this! I applaud your ability to critically assess the complexities of different sort of problems, I wonder if you got a degree in psychology or related field! I envy your amazingly structured analytical mind! Just stunning! You are the best at what you do :)
I was amazed by his calm and kind approach. :) He is the man at the right place. He explains it so well, he gave him pretty concrete advices and that is really important. Cheating is horrible, thatswhy it is touchy subject, but Matt handled it so well. :)
Aneta Puskásová oh yaah its a great lesson, did you say the women and gay how present the show, i hate face there making and laughing as well pfff
yasmine rose what?
i mean the two hosts who was joking on that! how do you think about theme ?
yasmine rose I have no idea what are you talking about.
Man, Matthew is such a great person. I honestly hope there are men out there that are like him.
There are men out there like matt, women are just looking in the wrong places. Nice guys dont finish last. Its the guy women run to when their partner leaves them for another female. Just stating the fact.
There was a time when I used to think that checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? CYBERLOGICS_ got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life
Oh look, incels gather here. Shocked. :)
Thank you Matthew for showing anyone who watches this, whichever position the viewer is in in relation to this story, how to be compassionate to the wrongdoer and how to guide them back to a healthier mindset and self-care journey
This was nice seeing a different side of Matt. Addressing a more serious issue here u did a great job not only in advising the right things to the caller but helping him face the truth without being biased agreed with this advice good job Matt this was awesome!
This one goes deep. Loved hearing a male on the other end and also enjoyed seeing how Matt approached dealing with a guy.
I cried so hard, feeling like for once someone truly understand and speaks my mind.. Your words are so comforting and makes me realize, this is what I want in a man.. This kind of change is what I truly want. This kind of mindset and change of attitude and approach in life, is what I want in him. And I realize now.. I'm not asking the impossible things.. I'm asking from the wrong person perhaps..
Nicely done! I also give that gentleman credit for calling in and asking for advice. Wish him the best and hope and pray that he continues on with his sobriety.
thank you so much for this. i don’t think a lot of people realize that sometimes the people that cheat aren’t cheaters in their hearts. but it’s a a bunch of small reasons and things that don’t always relate to the relationship, at least at the surface. IF YOU CHEATED THAT DOESNT MEAN YOULL DO IT AGAIN. Work on yourself and prove it. i’m on day 3 of being caught cheating emotionally and i’m on day 3 of changing my shit and being the best man for her to come back too. (i’ll let y’all know how it goes. might be weeks, might be months, might be years)
Wish you luck man!
And how are you? ❤
@@leaneleane6868 i have been sober from THC for the past 2 months. I’ve been journaling. i went to therapy. My ex and I have had civil nice phone/ft calls. she still doesn’t talk to me nor do I but on the occasion we both have stuff to say we both talk it out. We giggled like we used to when on the last call i had last week. I’m hoping for the best still…yet still expecting the worst.
What’s the update and why and how did you cheat
It’s been about 5 months…we are working through our problems. We have our first counseling session as a couple on Friday. She did sleep with others while we were broken up…kinda sucks because although we weren’t dating, it still hurts knowing she moved on so quickly and fucked people. I cheated but all I did was heavily flirted with a girl and it only was one night of flirting…I don’t see how it weighs out but that is why we are going to therapy…at the end of the day we are trying again :) and it makes me happy to see us fight through this together. We love each other very much and we both made some mistakes. It’s time to work harder and stronger for our future we so desire together
We wanna feel SAFE. That's really all that we want!
Then riddle me this
Why do women go after bad guys who can give them thrills?
There's little safety in that 😂
@@arnavrawat9864 Girls* do, not women*... A woman is someone who's grown up from that "bad boys love" phase... It has got nothing do with her age, it's all about her individuality, self esteem and internal growth... A woman who's 20 might know clearly what she wants and picks a high value man, other hand a 45yo can still be going through her high school cool girl bad boy phase and dating men who cheat... 💯
@@sqoishicasette How i wish that were true.
People don't grow out of liking something. They just learn how to ignore it or control themselves better.
As a guy who strives to be good, it really hurts that women prefer the bad ones.
@@arnavrawat9864 tbh you don't even want those women who prefers bad ones right? It's not your job to convert what people like... You just need to be mindful you invest in a women who's evolved enough
@@sqoishicasette I know it's not my job to convert people.
And it would be stupid to reject people who are interested in me. I already have a girl i cherish.
I worry about the fact that this preference exists in women. Because ultimately i don't want to be a bad guy just to be attractive.
And i worry about it because my partner is a woman too. And i do want to be attractive for her.
The thing is, even if we are aware that cheating is bad, we still don't know the actual consequences until it's actually done. My deepest regret is that I hope these kinds of videos have been lingering around my youtube channel few years back, so I could have saved myself from the darkness. But it's all in the past, we all deserve to heal.
I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay
Whtsaap him"**
✚２３４８１４０7９９３２３
There was a time when I used to think that checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? CYBERLOGICS_ got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life
Wow, this was powerful. Shows how Matthew is not purely a love coach, he is a LIFE coach!
Matt, my own self confidence is already benefiting a lot from your work but I need to say this: you, Sir, did an admirable job talking to this man! I am proud of you and proud of knowing about you. It's truly a priviledge.
This is too deep. I love how you addressed the issue and the caller is so genuine in wanting to change bcos he love the girl
Wow... Matt... you continue to surprise me everyday with your wisdom. You are absolutely incredible! Hats off to you!
YOU ARE A SPECTACULAR HUMAN BEING! Much respect Matthew.... xxxxxxx
Love the balance of truth&compassion..so inspiring
I’ve never watched any of Matthew’s videos before but this is one of the best ones on CZcams I’ve heard about cheating and healing a relationship. Wow if this man on the call follows this and his God and heart he will not only win back his wife but more importantly himself! 💞
This conversation is amazing, Kenny is brave enough to recognize his troubles but even better is willing to change his life in order to get back to his family, hope they make it work, family worth all. American society needs to put more effort in get their family values more strong. Matthew you are so wise and empatic with people there's no way of loving you as the great man you are.
💯
There was a time when I used to think that checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? CYBERLOGICS_ got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life
Yes, actions not words, but it certainly is impressive how Matthew can talk about feelings and such situations, Im sure I would have never found such fitting words to tell the person this message
Actions speak louder.... thank you, Matt! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
What an incredible video. Matt, you are so full of wisdom!
Absolutely love this post, and yes...can apply to all relationships. I would love more videos on this topic. What makes people toxic and/or why toxic people come into your life? What are the early signs of a toxic person at the beginning of a relationship...and how do you avoid them? Thanks, love all that you do!
I think woman are very intuitive, being cheated on is by far one of the worst things I've ever felt. Although, nothing in comparison to losing a loved one (passing away) I find strength in reminding myself that I've faced "real" loss & have adapted to their everyday absence. If someone can cheat on someone they say they love, it's ok to walk away from that & it is miniscule loss if it means finding someone that would never put you in such distraught mental/emotional disillusion.
Love the response! Structured clarity of thought! Mad props mate!
Amazing advice and inspiration Matthew.. spot on with everything you’ve said and conveyed so elequently
Matt, that was brilliant.......... Kudos to you and what comes through you.
Matthew, you are amazing! The way you nicely communicate and much more. Even a cheater need support to learn his mistake or issues, you effectively helping them. Thank you.
U got it! That is EXACTLY the way to try to fix it. In PROVING it, not just saying it. Your videos are so inspiring! Love it!
Greets from Germany :-)
Matt, that was awesome. I don't think that caller could have gotten any better advice than what you gave.
I haven't heard so much wisdom in a long time. Great advice!
Wow Matt! How can such a young man be so intelligent and wise? I LOVE your videos, blog, book, etc. Keep up the awesome work. :D
Very genuine,loving,and insightful..
Man he gives such impeccable advice. I haven't heard him say a single thing that wasn't logical and sound
I love you Matt. I actually thought there is not really a way to excuse cheating . But you are right, it is mistrust and guilt and if he is serious about wanting the woman back, he has to prove it with action not only empty words .it is also true that it can take time before you can build trust that always depends on the person. But what impressed me the most ist the fact that you called him out about his own ego, this cheaters always make it about themselve and thats why they mostly fail to get back to the person. I normally hate cheaters because they just hurt the person said they love but the way you described it kind of release the pain
Once a cheater is always a cheater.
@@amish613 you are very close-minded
@AliSand ofcourse there are people who will cheat again, but, the vast majority won’t.
@@jaapscheeuwstra9350 you're foolishly openminded
There was a time when I used to think that checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? CYBERLOGICS_ got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life
Matthew, You are wise and deep! Thank you for so much good advice!!
Amazing on so many levels, I really hope he takes your advice with this, I’ve just been cheated on, if only more men wanted to make these changes
Matthew you cover all aspects of our lives, you go daddy “O”!!! 🤩
Legitimately so much insight, unbelievable.
After watching this video I made my confession.
I cheated on my GF this past week. The next day I was dealing with the guilt, and I was planning into hiding it. But looking for advice videos, I found this.
I called her right away, we talked. I don't know what's going on, but I felt good doing the right thing telling her right away.
I'm not proud, I'm suffering seeing her so sad and down.
She told me this: "I want to hate you, but I can't, because I love you more and I know you're not a bad person" that was soul crushing.
My advice, it's not being a week but hear me out. If you're planning on doing it, tell your partner, call them right away, ask for help, thell them you're having this thoughts and need their help.
It's going to be hard, but not as hard as watch them feel betrayed, you don't want the person that you love feeling sad, heartbroken, and destroyed.
THIS. I don’t get hurt knowing my partner wanted something else, I’m an adult and we live in a world of temptation and we are human. The hurt and betrayal is lying and hiding it from me and then going through with it. Instead of trying to stop yourself and protect our relationship.
@neul song we broke up lol
@@kamikazelombardo how long did you guys stay together after the cheating?
@@harunachi6577 We didn't, the relationship was over after that. She was ready to give me a second chance but I didn't took it. I felt it was more harm than good, because even if I loved her as I did, I knew staying with me was hurting her more than helping her, we became friends and stayed close for about a year or so before she found her current boyfriend and for what I can tell she's really happy.
@@kamikazelombardo you are lucky that she was willing to give you another chance. I wasn’t fortunate enough to be given a second chance.i would’ve taken it and proved her that it was a drunken accident and I’m not a cheater… I just lost my gf of 4 years because I confessed. I regret it
Best advice I’ve had so far
This mans level of insight is mind blowing!!! Absolute gold. 👌
This is such a relatable video man thank you brother
so powerful I had chills
Thank You so much for what you do!!!! this was so so so helpful!!!!!
Matthew, you're just amazing.
and the caller's honesty about his mistakes is amazing aswell:)
Dude is an amazing listener!
Wow. I've been writing a letter explaining this for the past 4 hours and he just put it into words so eloquently in 5 minutes.
Holy crap Matthew. This is the best advice I've ever heard you give. SO good. ❤👌
I'm having the same problem with my girlfriend. I cheated on my girlfriend after I broke up with her last May, then we got back to together after a week of the break up. She just found out this month about me cheating on her with another woman after I broke up with her. So now she doesn't trust me anymore, and what makes this worse is that we are in a long distance relationship by me living in Texas and her living in Indiana. She won't believe in my words saying that I'm sorry and that I won't ever do it again. We are still together and she told me that I will have to do a lot to be able to fix our relationship, but at the same time she didn't think I'm going to do it, while I'm trying to do everything that I can to change for her.
Amazing💗 Thank you for always sharing your outlook and positive ways to change situations that better the people in them. I think you touch everyone's heart when you show up authentic and inspirational. XO ( kiss on the cheek and a hug because those are my standards ;) lol
ugh matthew, i seriously might love you. whichever lady that gets you will be veryyy lucky! 😊
U are amazing !! I learn alot from this video too
I needed this Thank you both 🥺
cheating is none negotiable for me. you can't just kiss and make up as if nothing happened. even if you say its just one night stand. there's no excuse. because in my mind it's just not the physical act of sex, that affects me it's the violation of emotional contract and trust that i gave to the man. my bf cheated on me twice and i have forgiven me but third time around and saw the girl in the office, .. nah' i won't take him back. enough is enough. move on and find someone who deserve you most. loving a person is not easy either but trusting him and betrayed you. there's no option there but to leave him.
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Amazing my man. I’ve been in tears all day. Cheated on her, rushed up to her uni and told her everything. We’ve agreed she needs time. Tough. Wish I never did it
The fact that you regret it and are emotional (tears) shows that you are remorseful And that you care. This alone is such a good thing and says a lot about your character.
Your partner may or may not want to stay with you. And if you did stay together things won't be quite the same, there will be a change but the relationship could still be workable.
The thing you know now is that you'll never repeat this behavior again in the future whether it's with your partner or someone else in a future relationship.
And though it's a really hard lesson to learn it is valuable.
I hope you don't beat yourself up over it and can move forward whatever happens and things will be ok.
@@HeatherLikesArt Thankyou, i appreciate this so much. Turns out things are going pretty well, with time. My approach was honest and from a place of humility, it seemed to make things a little easier for her. I certainly did learn my lesson, and feel like a better and more complete man because of it. Sometimes the biggest developments we make as humans come about through mistakes, and how we react to them. this has become obvious to me
There was a time when I used to think that checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? CYBERLOGICS_ got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life
im in the same place as u but have literally just sent her a vn something like the video above. currently waiting for her reply.
If theres a kick back or negative response then a bit unsure how to tackle it.
@@swingerz Hi Chris, recently confessed unfaithful as well, be as honest as you need to be and as express everything you need to tell her please . Don't ask for her forgiveness and just pray for her peace, happiness and forgiveness!!;
I'm going through it with you too
It has helped me so much I’m giving her her space at work rn. I was so insecure and I felt like she was distancing herself I cheated and she found out it was over text but she seen the whole thing. I promised myself to make the change i I will continue regardless but I do want her to know I want to show her everyday how special she is and if she will give me the chance I know I can prove over time I am that man she can trust and spend her life with.
Hi there , how's it going?
I noticed my spouse was acting weird and It was so obvious but he wouldn't stop saying I was acting crazy. I contacted CYBERLOGICS_ got full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and I don't regret it
Yeah…..no. Let someone better have her. You need to let her go.
My dad was an alcoholic and cheater, he is a wonderful man now.
Everyone makes mistakes- Kenny, I hope you have changed your ways for the better!
He probably didn't though. Cheaters (man or woman) rarely change their ways
There was a time when I used to think that checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? CYBERLOGICS_ got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life
@@theduchess9691 You don't know that.
I'll make my confession right now and say that I cheated multiple times. I'm 24 years old, by the way. Eventually, she broke up with me when she should have done it earlier. The one thing I got absolutely destroyed over is not the break up, but the mistakes I did. I thought to myself, "Screw this, this shouldn't be me" immediately I made changes in myself because I would never want to put myself or another partner though that pain.
People can change if they are wanting to better themselves. Some choose not to and don't care about themselves or others, only the desires they want.
@@Night_Fury479lol do you understand that this makes you a totally untrustworthy person? Will you tell another date one day hey I've cheated many times in the last but now I've changed? Nobody wants to be with an (ex?) cheater
@pist251 yeah I can actually. Then that's for them to make a decision to be with me or not either way I would understand if they reject. But I would rather be honest and truthful then hide it because that's what would make me untrustworthy.
Everyone learns and grows up if they choose to. So your opinion means nothing.
Wow! I love this!!! 😊
Thank you man i really need this ❤️
wow you're really good at this.
How do I tell her, speak with her or prove things to her if she blocked me everywhere, said she never wants to see me again and removed me from her life (i didn't physically cheat but I texted with a girl in a very inappropriate way that u can call cheating)
Let her go, mate. She deserves better. Do better with the next one. This one’s gone.
I need this too bad today... Thank you
I really needed this thanks Man!
This is some good stuff
you're a wizard harry. 😃✨👏
This made my day! xD
Me? A wizard? 🧙♂️ I’m just Harry. Just, Harry. 😂
idk but matt's face looks sad while the guy is talking on the line jdkdksks
Wowww! Brilliant words
That's the good advice.. Back to her and promise never ever do that thing and arguments is only for one hour not whole day and don't sleep someone is angry and anger is not good for heart.. And for the process woman see the fundamental reasons and feel safe and that's why show it... Yes actions is more than words.. Speak and works.. It's melted the heart.. Sustain and nurtured.. That's good and you live a life with calm and when you grow older.. You Will tell how the important of understanding with love
Wut?
I needed this! Tysm man
Gee. That was pretty impressive.
Man your such a great person 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Thank you for this video
This guy knows a woman’s heart ❤️
And how to play with it
I hope that one day I will get to meet and be really happy with a man just like you Matt. I wish there was more of you in the world :-). Xx
I wish my ex who cheated on me could watch this
How do I call in and get your advice? :o
I don't have any amount of respect to cheating husband/wife or even just a Boyfriend/Girlfriend situation, it wasn't done by mistake, its a poignant decision in the first place before you decide for yourself that you're gonna cheat but you still chose to.
Exactly…..there are thousands of micro decision that goes on during.
Marielle really though that her problems where way beyond the point of resolution, and I had to agree with her, she just couldn’t fort, secretly she didn’t want to. Then out of the nothing she mentioned Treitan Mellory’s site and how it somehow helped her get her ex back…, powerful stuff.
What's the best advice someone can give in regards to building your own life?
What do u do if u are dumped for telling lying her your age for a year ? And she found out on her own by sneaking through your personal docs
I am crying right now
How to stop the uncertainty in relationships?
Madison Seachrist exactly! I am not a bad person. I was just in a sexless marriage for too long!!!!!! And it almost killed me. Then I cheated.
Absolute priority. Different mindset. Show him that youve changed fundamentally. Focus on building your life. You have to go through your process. I hate that I have created someting that have cause you pain, but I would never do that to you again. I know that I ant get you over this thing overnight but I’m willing to work with you to move past this and I know that I dont have your 100% trust, but give me a chabce and I’m willing to prove you everyday that I deserve this second chance.
Nah. If you cheat you're for the streets.
There was a time when I used to think that checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? CYBERLOGICS_ got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life
Don’t come in between her and her future boyfriend/husband you selfish prick
@@peaceunion5316 shout up
No one is for the street we all make mistakes
you get wath you give
Damn that part about distinguishing between guilt and love . That’s so true , I made a mistake and cheated on my gf and I hated us ending with her knowing I did this. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t love her , I just made a mistake when we were having problems . But at the end of the day when I was in the relationship I wasn’t happy . So I’m sure me chasing her now is mainly trying to prove I’m not a shitty person .
Yes bro I just cheated on my gf and honestly I’m not sad that I’m not with her I’m just feeling guilty because I hurt her and she didn’t deserve that. I wasn’t happy I’m the relationship at the end of the day neither.
hell yea i relate to both of y’all 3-4 months ago i cheated on my gf (ex now we dated for a year and a month) i invited another girl over and we watched tv awkwardly for like 10-15 mins then i made her leave told my gf the next day and she forgave me but we broke up a couple days ago because even tho she forgave me and i didn’t cheat sexually she couldn’t be with someone who did that in the first place and i was happy with her the first couple months but then i kinda got unhappy later on and i let her know it wasn’t her fault and that she doesn’t deserve to sit up at night and blame herself over something i did and that was it.. i never cheated before honestly i’m jus upset and myself and feel guilt that i did that to her but no sense in trying to chase her still it would jus be to prove myself
I did the same thing. We weren’t doing well and I got violently drunk one night and made the mistake. She left me without question and I have been grappling with guilt since. How are y’all doing on your journeys since?
@@robstone6711 honestly i’m forgiving myself and healing i made a mistake and i was mad at myself for a bit but we all make mistakes it’s natural so i’m getting over it… me and her talked last week for the first time since we broke up we talked about EVERYTHING and we agreed that if feelings are still there in a couple years then we could try again but i told her i’m not gonna hold my breath… i know what i did was wrong but it is what it is just gotta do better and be better for myself but the healing journey is definitely going better then expected just staying positive and reminding myself that atleast i told the truth and it’s not like i had sex with another female or touched another female or anything so ya know but be nice to yourself obviously hold yourself accountable but just forgive yourself when you can and move on it happened nothing you can do to change it no reason to sit around and say “i should’ve” or “i could’ve” like that’s in the past just be better we got this 💆🏾♂️
Just did it too guys, I dont know if I cheated. I talked dirty to a girl for 20 seconds on dm. my gf did not forgive and left me. i want to die now honestly. i feel sad and very much depressed. she was such a good person. should not go through this.
Some times I feel like I want to end my life because of this
Me too
Don't say that. Grab life by the balls. It'll open up to you.
@9/8c eat shit
Same it sucks when you hurt someone that showed you so much love. I feel so guilty now. I pray one day we will all be given the chance to show our new and improved selves
Me too. Hope things are better
EXCELLENT title, excellent!!!
(dats why ah DONT cheat....)
I'm interested in the other side of this. For the women or person that's been betrayed.
+lily portillo: From my side of it as I have been cheated on a few times. The worst one was when I was married and he had some internet relationships. I can tell you the worst part of it all was when the first time it happened only a few weeks after we got married and the last time he was seeing her over the internet and calling her international for a year and I never knew about it. But I believe that a relationship is based on trust. Without trust there is no love. So once he came clean the first time and told me about it I said I was very upset but I believe in trust and forgiveness. I have to forgive him for cheating and trust that he won't do it again and have faith in the relationship. The last time he divorced me shortly after that. Also recently, I have been engaged and there were messages to a girl on text from my fiancee but nothing sexual or anything like that and I asked him about it and he said they're just friends so I said ok I'm trusting you that your telling me the truth cause a relationship is about trust. So I trust you. Cheating does hurt but in the end if you really love your partner and want things to work then you work together to make things work as a couple and pull through the hardships in your relationship. A marriage is not easy. You really have to work at it as a couple. Some people think marriage is easy and boy are they in for a rude awakening. The first year it is the easiest but after the first year it takes work to stay together and make things work as a couple.
I would literally marry you! Your wisdom is from heaven ♥️
This just hit me so hard
kenny had loads to say i wanted to hear him
i wish he understood
I love u. U hv all my problems solutions....
This is from 9 years ago. No idea on their "status" now. Unfortunately as much as I still love my ex, it just got to a point where I had to say "enough is enough." And walk away. Just don't have it in me go give it another go with him.
Have you done Counselling or physiology?? If not...your a natural.
*psychology
This one was so good 😭😭
You are amazing
How to forgive cheating?