Codependency & Pathological Loneliness: Why We Stay with Narcissists. Loneliness Hurts!
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- čas přidán 3. 04. 2015
- In this video, Ross Rosenberg discusses how and why codependency and loneliness are connected. When explaining why trauma resolution is indelibly linked to long-term codependency recovery, he analyzes how loneliness is the primary effective state that keeps a codependent from finding a healthy romantic relationship or keeps them stuck in an unhealthy one.
ABOUT ROSS
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., CADC, is Self-Love Recovery Institute’s CEO and primary contributor. His internationally recognized expertise includes pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and attachment trauma. Ross’s “Codependency Cure™ Treatment Program provides innovative and results-oriented treatment. His expert educational and inspirational seminars have earned him international acclaim, including his 22 million CZcams video views and 230K subscribers. In addition to being featured on national TV and radio, his “Human Magnet Syndrome” books sold over 140K copies and are in 10 languages. Ross provides expert testimony/witness services.
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"You don't have to give up everything about yourself in order to be loved" oh my god, that hit close to the home 😢
I was the nice child. I finally learned at 60 to self love and not feel guilty.
I was the nice child,too,and I am still struggling with having a nice day and not feeling guilty for it. No regular Job, no origin family -so why do you think you deserve food and fun. It s in my bones..cannot get rid of the thought.........
But I am angry and will reach my Goal !
How did you do it?
@@christianeherz2438 hi. What do u guys mean by "the nice child"? Does it include avoiding your parents to know about trouble you got into?
@@christianeherz2438 May I ask how are you doing now, 11 months later...?
I bet the 19 people who gave this video a thumbs down are narcissists.
Lol
Probably
And???????? CAPTAIN UN PERRO IM SURE UR EXEMPLARY PRIME SPECIMEN OF MENTAL HEALTH RIGHT??? Thats why u photoshopped that glamorous pic... save ur hedious snide remarks for s1 who cares ok bei bei, ever give frontal lobe lobotomy beach?????
Yes girl! They got exposed and hate truth!
My last narc must have cured me - cuz I sure love being alone! LOL! No loneliness here; just peace and quiet... and lovin every second of it.
Narcissist Free Same here.
Narcissist Free I'm pretty much free of narcissist women, except for my parents.
+Narcissist Free going through it right now. If someone you love tells you to go fuck yourself and die... you kinda start to understand the value of yourself.
***** people's actions are either of love or of cry for love. There's nothing in between. Psychopaths included. They have so much pain that their brain is not working properly.
Daath Gnosis they have no pain because there was so much trauma in their early lives that they cannot feel any emotions. Their brains shut down their amygdalas.
Yes loneliness kills. I understand elderly and how they must feel. I have no family as they are narcissistic and abusive. No friends who don’t use me and ex partners who were takers. Time to give to me. I wish I could afford therapy.
This is therapy & it's FREE!!
@@lovelv1278 no it’s not and I’ve done that ty
It took me years to realize my husband is a narcissist. I am an empath. I lost the use of my heart but I'm still alive. Thank you for this video.
Justme650 Don’t give up on yourself. You’ll be happy as soon as you find an exit plan. I thought I was dead too. But having a plan has brought me back life and hope. It’s never too late. You still can make it out.
Justme650 23 years...I am in exit mode!
Justme650 Sade?
I hope your heart cures over time, because it's not worth it.
THATS A LYRIC. “I’ve lost the use of my heart, but I’m still alive.”
SADE --Soldier of Love.
Thank you Ross. You've made me cry. You've just explained what happened to me. I left my narcistic husband after 30 years... I felt so lonely I couldn't bear it. I quickly found another narcist and felt happy for a while. When he left me after a couple of months it was too much pain for me to cope with. I attempted suicade. It was the breaking point. It was 18 months ago. I've been re-building myself from the scratch since then. Thank you so much. I cannot aford a therapist, I keep listening to Lisa A. Romano and I know she respects you very much. I will be listening to your videos too. I cannot express my gratitude to people like you for all the help you bring to the world. Namaste🙏🏻
💜
I have literally said to my family when they ask why I jump into relationships so fast...I say " I feel so lonely it physically hurts my heart " thank you for validating what I've been experiencing for years
Ross you absolutely nailed my experience perfectly, but in my case I am not attracted to narcissists but to anyone that can make me feel loved. Pain of loneliness is traumatizing beyond compare. Abandonment issues, childhood emotional starvation, narcissistic parents, etc. Perfect recipe for codependent misery. I am getting help this week for the first time in 51 years. I've had enough of living like this. Thank you for your keen insight.
How is the therapy / healing going?
Honestly, not much doing. The counselor I went to was essentially worthless. Need to find someone else who knows how to work with codependents. Ugh.
+Lt Col Cj Does co-dependency healing coach Richard Grannon resonate with you? Have you listened to the audiobooks The Body Keeps the Score? You can search both on CZcams if interested -- I found the book a masterpiece if you are willing to go deep to heal wounds from childhood as Ross explains in this loneliness video ... Until you find the 'right' therapist who has lived these experiences and genuinely healed from them, these resources are a huge help.... I think both Ross Rosenberg and Richard Grannon also offer online courses / therapy for these issues but I haven't experienced them directly as I'm still in research mode.
Never heard of Grannon but I will look. Only odd thing is - to the best of my determination- I don't deal with this narcissist-attraction thing at all. In fact I am repulsed by narcissists (there are a few in my family) and I avoid them at all costs. So I don't match the typical narc/CD situation.
Linda Pick your poison is right! So much hurt and trauma to try and recover from. It truly makes my heart bleed for those who have never known in their whole lifetime, what genuine love and total acceptance feels like. I was very lucky that in middle age (in my thirties) that I bumped into the real deal. What a miraculous tonic and healing balm for a broken heart and broken spirit!!! Wishing everyone here eventually experiences that.
I have cut off the narcs (outside of family members) and I'm going through this at the moment. The pain is debilitating, it's like a never ending hollow feeling. It hurts so much, I'm at constant conflict with my mind. I feel like I'm just learning how to navigate the world without my crutches.
Kry Kry same here, study as much as u can, be as connected with as many types of the RIGHT ppl as u can, avoid those that only offer simplistic platitudes and please eat sleep exercise as much as u can, hopefully youve improved in the mnth since u posted yr comment. I,m aware you prolly already know all this stuff. but I felt compelled to type it anyways
LoAGirlBoss hope the last 9 months has seen great healing progress, my situation is still all too fresh and raw. I have allowed myself to become a mostly disconnected hermit.
despair and misery, hopelessness are all unwanted tenants, hopefulness determination self belief are trying but dont win often enough.
my narc seems like she was the queen, a black belt, the author of how to be a narc. thankgod I was able to realise that is what she was otherwise I wouldve attributed the unhealthiest off all relationships as my failing and I wouldnt be here now most likely.
wishing that you are recovered, because u r a beacon of light for those of us who are fresh in the trauma
I feel you!
LoAGirlBoss
L
LoAGirlBoss yes happens me when I dump narcissistic people it hurts losing role as codependent
I am so happy to have found you. I am 59 years old and I have suffered from a narcissist mother. I feel like I have searching my entire life for the knowledge that you have given me. I never knew why my life was such a horrible mess. I just watched your video and I am crying. I am so glad that I finally found out what happened to me as a child. I remember most of my childhood was spent crying because I couldn't figure out why my mother had conveyed to me that I had no value. She only showed me attention when I was doing for her. I have been married four times. When the abuse got totally disfunction able I was forced to get a divorce only to repeat the cycle all over again. All this finally makes sense. I am feeling pain, because I have to accept that I had a mother that never really valued or accepted me as her child. I spent most of my life trying to get her to love me. I have to accept that I have to love myself for me and for her. Because I will never get that love from her. It hurts, but at least now it makes sense. Thank you. KP
+Karen V Pampas as well i am 50 years old and i have a very controlling mother, lived a 25 yr marriage of abuse and control, now i am at rock bottom, noone understanding my depression and crying....when i found this I was the same i am now in therapy, this is a blessing to find but bitter sweet, i have always wanted to be accepted, caregiver, makke sure i give advice to others...when i need to be worrying about me.... i wish you the best as well and thank you Ross for your life lessons
Cathy You are a great person for getting through what you have gotten through. seriously. the spirit is indestructible and eternal. you'll be fine 😊
Karen V Pampas thank you for sharing. I’m 48 and I literally can’t take it anymore. I know for a fact that my mother does not love me. Unfortunately I have been neglectful of me. Not taking or at least denying that this is my life and experience. I have been living in denial. I’m going to love myself or at at least learn to respect myself.
You been married 4 times and divorced and you say your mother fault, you have problems yourself and you do not acknowledge to be responsible for your own problems, until what age you been living with your mother? If your mother was narcisssists why you been living with her , you could go away after your 18 years old and live your life away from her .
Me too. I am 50.
My husband is a narcissist. I didn't know until I stood up and want to get out. He became threatening. After being separated, I was able to point out these things he has done to me and recognized he has a mental illness. We've been separated so many times. I would want to file a divorce and he would contest only to see I have no money left. After 9 months he would come back and beg. Now it's 15 years wasted. Many times since the separation, I would feel lonely I want to compromise his behavior and take him back but I stumble upon your video and I am confidence, I am doing the right thing leaving. It's been hard but I am getting better. The pitty I have for him is slowly going away. I am walking into healing. I just can't not love myself to love someone who don't love me!
As a Christian, knowing and accepting God's love is healing me. My mother was a narcissist and childhood was emotionally painful. Then married covert narc. In healing, I realise that much pain does go back to childhood. Thank you Jesus for making a way to Father God's heart. I need your love and care every minute Father. Cry out to Jesus.
Dad wasn't present [he worked too much] unless he needed to hand out a beating. He told me he loved me once, the day before he died, 39 years after I was born. Mom was equally not present, due to working. I don't know if either was or is a Narcissist. I suspect they just weren't great parents, and dad certainly showed no interest in dealing with us.
When I had problems finding a relationship as a young man, my mother taught me that I need to "bring something to the table" if I expected to be loved. This involved things like money, cars, a home, and things. That's how to get a woman, with money and things. A man has to be a provider, she asserted.
I had to become worthy in this regard. This was confirmed when I'd go out, and women would ditch me, a man with a job, in favor of a man who had an established career and wealth. With friends, I had to provide value, so I'd always be open to doing things for others and saying yes to requests. I did that for them, so they'd like me. They never did anything like this in return, and for some reason that never registered.
Looking back, my life was filled with Narcissists. A few years back I got caught between two dangerous Narcissist, and it cost me everything. Since then, I've been working on my own self, spending time with myself, and working to deal with my Codependency so that I might trust myself when it's time to select new friends.
What I'm learning is that there is a big difference between loneliness and being alone. Being alone is okay, and in some ways I like it.
Wow... I totally resonate. My dad worked a lot (even at home he always had to have a project) and my mom was just in her own world, while my older sister was a histrionic-borderline-narc combo of epic proportions that beat my twin and I up and tried to kill me with a knife, and my parents were in total denial... they never said I had to be a certain way to get a man- in fact they told me never to get married and have kids which was totally scarring, and then they didn't allow me to date. My older sister had to be seen as "the pretty one" and programmed me to believe that I wasn't, so I didn't even know I was attractive and had bad self-worth from that. So I went off into the world with negative ideas in my subconscious (probably that I wasn't worthy enough to marry) and no experience with boys whatsoever. Naturally, the first boyfriend I had was an abusive narc who left me when he realized he couldn't get to my parents' money to set up his political campaign (wtf?) He only told me several years later, after coming back to fuck with my mind again. Then I went to grad school, and I made many friends who like you I felt I always had to provide value and do everything for, but who never reciprocated. I also met a new narc boyfriend who was very poor (from Eastern Europe) so I always tried to cook for him so he wouldn't have to take us out to dinner and we did a lot of things together like free concerts in the park. We were discussing our future together, marriage, when he started cheating on me and then after I confronted him, a couple months later he was back with the ex girlfriend (who had supposedly victimized him before I met him and he said he never wanted to see again). I couldn't help noticing that the ex-girlfriend was in a PhD program (therefore likely to be successful) whereas I was stuck with paying loans on my Master's. It's hard to get the good jobs in Economics when you don't have a PhD. Nevertheless, God helped me and I was hired as an Economist anyway and have done well. Then my closest narc friend from grad school who had disappeared off the face of the earth came back into my life because she was supposedly being kicked out of the house by her husband. I took her in and fed her for 6 months, but I found out that her ex husband was actually angry at her for heaving him! She found a way to make this sound like he had pushed her away, and I grudgingly bought it. But then this year, after she got back on her feet financially and moved out, I noticed all she wanted me around for was to tell me all her new man problems. I watched her date several at once, lie to them, and discard with total ease and finally saw that she was for sure a narc. I was so disgusted. When I hung out with her, she and her friends bullied me into drinking when it's very bad for me owing to my autoimmune issues which I had already explained to them. So I had to distance myself after that. Thankfully I realized that my newer work friends that I had made in the more recent years after my ex left me and after I was out of grad school were all healthier people than the friends I used to make. So I think that confronting the narc I almost married made a difference in the kind of people I have met since then. But like you, I have romantically been alone since my narc ex left (apart from a close friendship with a man who was going through trauma too- he later married someone else and we are still platonic friends.) I agree that it is better to be alone until you have worked yourself out than bring this into a new relationship. Now I know I am looking for a giver, not a taker. I am looking for someone who knows how to love and prioritizes it. I am looking for someone who is affectionate and who is there for me when the chips are down. I don't want to hope to "heal" anyone. That was how my narc friend hoovered me back in. It is also what my older sister has done to me- for at least a decade I have tried to help her "heal" and have spent thousands of dollars and a lot off my time to try to help her find herself and be happy, but when I stood my ground last Christmas over a boundary violation, she went into a screaming and cursing fit, left the family home, and wouldn't talk to me for almost a year. For the first time I realized I didn't care because I had done more than enough for her, and I didn't want to waste my time anymore. My life has been filled with narcissists too. But being alone and safe, sane, and out of the mental fog they create is better. I now know the signs to spot a narc and I am working on booting any new narcs out of my life as fast as possible. Thankfully I have some caring friends in my life too... and my twin sister is loving as can be. My parents have also grown to be a lot more emotionally available since they retired. I try to appreciate the love that I have in my life. It also helped that I spent several years giving myself the experiences that they hadn't, and after my ex narc left, I went to all the places that we were not going to go to together after all. When you finish unfinished business and honor your inner needs whether others did so or not, you become your own protector, parent, lover, friend and you trust yourself. Then you become your primary relationship. Once I cleared out a lot of this emotional unfinished business I knew I was ready for a new partner again. I could finally give again. I knew that I wanted to receive, but I wasn't carrying a whole lot of baggage from the past, so that my new partner won't have to make up for what I didn't get in the past... until that person is in my life I am enjoying taking care of me and not pouring my energy into bottomless pits, aka narcs.
Thank you, that was very nice.
I understand this. I’m only 28 but i am similar. I constantly bend backwards to help others and spend my money on them and recently I’ve realized that it’s partly for the same reasons. I enjoy doing things for others, but sometimes it’s bc I seek validation and crave human connection and friendship. But nobody does the same in return. I feel used and manipulated and I don’t know who my true friends are as I only have a few people in my life and they seem to only be my friend when they want something. My whole life has been me giving and giving, but never getting anything reciprocated. I want people in my life who appreciate me for me and enjoy my energy and company. I’m alone 99.999% of my time and I want to learn to be ok with that. I want genuine friends and relationships and I want to be able to not fall for narcissistic women which has been all 3 of my relationships so far. I’m glad you’re finding understanding. Stay strong and positive
Drum Wild NOT ALL women seek a relationship with a man for the reasons you give. Perhaps many did back then since women were taught to be stay at home housewives during your moms youth. I don't believe that's the case anymore. Women can be successful with careers of their own & have sonething to add to a relationship. Not all one-sided as in 'kept-women'.
WOW! Spot on.. God bless you.. I truly pray you find love, healing, freedom and wholeness.. mind, body, and soul.. ❤
Honestly lost 15lbs and weeks of sleep because of my last break up. Went from 155lbs to 140 in a little over a week. I think I'm getting better now. But I fell hard, ended up in psychiatric treatment because my friends were scared for me. I'm going to counseling starting tomorrow
I don't intend, in any way, to minimize the feeling of loneliness that a codependent feels when leaving a narc, but aren't they already experiencing extreme loneliness when connected to the narc, as a primary relationship. Narcs are so incapable of true intimacy that it seems, to me, to be, one form of loneliness exchanged for yet another. ??
True, you feel lonley AF while still in the relationship, but it gets worse after he/she discards you. Or at least that's how i felt. I never tought that feeling like that, in so much pain, it's even possible. I made the "great" mistake and went back to him because i wanted to die and i saw no other way out of that missery. 2 mothes later, we broke up again. I've been better ever since, day by day i feel like going back to my old, happy self. He's still out there waiting to attack, but i'm not giving him the opportunity ar the ocasion to reach out. An the funny thing is that, for the first time, i'm doing this for me and for my own good because i don't ever want to feel that lonlines again. So yeah, it can get worse, and it did for 3-4 months, day by day.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You encourage me to seek for help at this age
Pursuing Growth
True but its debilitating to be alone.
@@buzzingbee6380 There's there an old saying, 'Better to be alone than in BAD company'
@@snap2114 I have a hard time giving credit to sayings. I usually find they are not right
Excellent explanation of the cure for codependency: self love.
Oh my! The universe just sent me a gift...this video! I am currently struggling with this very issue.....I soooooo want to reconnect with my narc X....he doesn't want me anymore (another gift to me) but I still have the compulsion to try to make him want me! Without him, I feel horrible loneliness and disconnect to the world!! Being with him takes that feeling all away!!! Very strange......well, not really....I understand its origin. My beloved Dad abandoned me when I was 12.....
Thank you for this video....xo
Allashakti Karma You're a sweetheart! Thank you....
You are so loved and totally complete. Things in you that you think are missing, they are there, they just need to be found.
.....wow! what amazing words! you are an angel! i now believe in angels!! i will think of what you said for sure and I will not forget...thank you sweet angel.....hope all is well in your life xoxo
Donna Perry I am going through something very similar to you and can totally relate to what you said. I know it is hard... But you/ we deserve better, Donna :) Wishing you all the strength and courage you need to breakthrough and move on. Let go of the old so new amazing things will come to you. Best :)
***** ...sorry to hear of your painful situation. I wish you strength and courage and know that everything happens for a good reason and something good WILL come from your pain. It always does if we are open to seeing the gifts. All the best to you! xo
So beautiful. I am so ready. How I know is because I refuse to ever return to the narc. No way, no how. I've grown enough to know I deserve so much better, even if alone. :)
Great video. I’ve spent years undoing the trauma I’ve been through as a child in an alcoholic family and married 34 years in a marriage to a covert narcissist. I’ve been out 9 years and it’s taken every bit of that time learning to self love 💕
excellent advice! thank you!! I am coming out of a narc/codep relationship, and am struggling with loneliness but everyday is getting better. The narc I was with just ended our relationship of almost 3 yrs saying he met someone else, and wants nothing to do with me. In past relationships I have jumped from one failed relationship into another, and I definitely don't want that pattern anymore.
I can relate
Thank you so much for this. I have been in therapy for 3 1/2 years with a trauma therapist but with many many issues including cronic health issues. I've recently peeled back all the layers to go to the deepest part of my pain. My therapist advised me that is wasn't going to be easy & it was going to be very painful. This explains generations of loneliness in a huge family. I will be forever grateful for this.♥️
Gosh, this is exactly what I have been feeling. Thanks, Ross, for the thorough analysis and coherent presentation. Shame is behind it all. The thought that was new and encouraging for me was that healing of codependency comes through healthy connections. But it’s still a mystery to me how I can connect with myself, especially when my narcissist guilt trips me.
This is hitting my core and myself of Shell is melting
+Endy M glad to help
Ross Rosenberg
Thank you so much! I was raised by a malignant narcissist who is also a psychologist. So she had narc super powers!!! LOL. Not to mention I am an only child. Loneliness and fear of abandonment are issues that plagued me throughout my life, until I realized how I was trained to understand love as conditional and based upon my performance. And even if I performed well, there was still never any guarantee I would get approval. I was the best daughter, putting aside my every .need to tend to my narc's needs. I carried this dysfunction into every relationship I had in my adult life. Now after 8 months of intense work, I am healed. But I remember being in bad relationships, where I was trampled on while I gave the shirt off my back......And even though I was miserable, I feared being alone more than being crapped on! So I stayed, thinking it was the best I was ever going to get!
Thank God those days are over! And your videos have been a cherished contribution to my healing. God bless you, Ross!
Can you share more about the 8 months of intense work? What kind of healing work helped and who helped you through it? Thanks!
Cynthia Moore McGovern
I answered you before, but I guess someone erased my response. I'm a Christian, and I got really tired of arguing with my mother. I don't know why I never prayed about what was wrong. I guess I just always assumed because of my programming, that I was the one who needed to find that place of peace with her.
But one day I just flat out, asked God, "What IS this?"
I remember I was standing in the middle of my kitchen angry because my mother had just tried to gaslight me again.
Five minutes after that I found myself on the website Daughters of narcissistic mothers. From that day on, everyday for 8 months God dealt with my heart on a new issue. Even in my anger stage there was a point where He told me to stop watching narc videos because it was trapping me in my anger.
It was a genuinely beautiful process.
I'm only answering your question. I don't want anyone on this thread to act like I'm trying to convert or preach.
+Tess W. I'm in the same way. God has taken me baby steps along this crazy road. Just when I think we're over it, He brings in something new. This is our new baby step, co-dependency. I have a narc dad, step mom and step sisters who keep me out of most of their activities yet demand that I be there when they snap their fingers. One day, I had a picture of my head of me tapping on a glass window, trying to get their attention. The Lord led me away from it. I guess this is the last step to walking away from them. He gives me strength and helps me deal with the Lonliness. it feels good to finally have a name for it. For years, I thought I was the problem. I'm also suffer from Avoidant personality disorder which means I have an unrealistic fear of rejection. I never knew it until, like you, I found a website that talked about AvPd and there I was on the page. It has been a very beautiful process and has bonded me to Him. And He's brought me far. I feel I'm almost through this thing. At least now I know why I keep going back to them and it needs to stop. Self love is something I really don't have. But now I guess this is part of the baby step we are taking. :)
kimdkus
I'M SO HAPPY to hear about how God is changing you. He's better than any psychologist you can go to, because He literally changes your heart and heals those wounds. It's great hearing Him quietly whisper to your spirit about what He wants to work on next. It's so intimate, like you're His only kid, right!?😃
I had a good friend who has Avoidant Personality disorder. I know what she went through. She would walk into rooms and scan for threats, she constantly thought something would happen that would publicly embarrass her. She was plagued by the fear that people were constantly judging her. It was really hard to have a conversation with her because she was always trying to read my mind while she was talking to me....like she was always waiting for the "axe to drop". I got used to it. Sometimes she'd even try to set me up by telling me something really bad about herself....then she'd wait for me to criticize it. But I knew what she was doing so I never said a word. She wanted me to reject her, but i didnt and that angered her......because of course , in her mind, I was STILL judging her, I just wasn't being honest by saying so.
(😐)
It's strange because I think her worst fear was the fear of being exposed, exposed as a bad person. She wasn't bad, she was funny , smart and generous.
Oddly enough, she stopped being my friend because I knew her too well.
Now she just sits alone every night with a bottle of vodka.
And she hasn't made one step closer to the Lord in two decades. It's sad. She's afraid of doing the work. She's afraid of even God "seeing her."
You know what I mean?
But I'll tell ya. You can get a lot of freedom through deliverance! If you ask the Lord to deliver you from spirits of anxiety , rejection , and fear of rejection, He will do it! I'm so glad you're getting free!
Tess W , hit it on the nail wow this is sooo amazing understanding myself better, well said Tess w. super narcissist yup.
You are talking to me directly Ross. I am no contact a month now and do have a emdr therapist. The loneliness is excruciating. Self love isn't easy but I am giving it my best because I cant see staying in loneliness the rest of my life.
Thanks for you videos
Wow!! I am now at this stage of loneliness and I keep going back to the narcissist ... I hate it and need to get out!!! is my next step therapy?
Ross Rosenberg you have great videos!
This is excruciating to face and despite years of specialized trauma attachment therapy, and all types of self care activities and spiritual and social groups, I feel like it will never end. It’s hard to change a lifetime of trauma. But thanks so much for talking about this and clarifying the role of toxic loneliness.
Wow you nailed it when you explained my marriage - both my husband and I are each a half a person. I'm so sick of being attracted to a narcissist, tired of feeling lonely. And pissed at myself because I am a co-dependent person! I hope I can eventually toss out this awful part of my life. Unfortunately the nearest therapist is 1 hr 15 min drive one way. Having other health issues, kids, work, sports, taking care of EVERYTHING at home with such a busy life, unfortunately I can not get that important step on my busy schedule.
Jodie H How are you going? I hope you found someone to work with on the phone. 👌🏻
:(
my mom never loved me, i knew this by seeing her actions, even though she would constantly deny it and say she does.
i never knew why though. sad to finally know the truth.
TylerJaden24
Would it have made any difference to you if you knew the truth years ago?
My mum never loved me either. My mum always said she couldn't feel anything.. yet would say she loved my brothers.. but maybe she was pretending to be 'normal.
At least she made an effort to lie, somewhere along the way she did actually think about ur feelings - or thought the fallout was too much effort. I was told by her at a fairly young age (
this resonates so deeply within me. it brings a level of understanding about myself I didn't have. I know I need therapy to help myself break away from codependency. what I didn't know & makes so much sense is that at the core I have trauma bonding issues. I struggle so much with self worth & I do feel complete but also trapped when involved with narcsasists. I'm piecing together where this started, with my own parents. high regards & respect to you! I'll continue to watch your videos as they are medicine for the soul & I am healing mine.
Thank you Ross, I kept asking myself why I allowed the bad behavior. You answered that question.
Oh WOW.. My husband of 19 years just told me he wants a divorce.. He is a monster, Sociopath, narcissist.. A walking nightmare, that's haunted me for nearly 2 decades... BUT! I feel like he ripped my soul out, the pain in my heart actually hurts! The thought of living without that man scares me.. I miss my monster...
i know what you mean. i tried to leave mine but came running back because i wanted to die without him. Problem is he is so convincing that he actually cares about me, but i don't know if it's true anymore.
P.B Penelope OMG u just described me! x
P.B Penelope I hope you haven't, narcissist are the most toxic people I have ever met. Everything he did was fake, and all it was to get supply from you
Take it from someone who has narcissistic parents and have attracted friends and women as narcissists
Please be strong and find connections with healthy people. Helping others help you feel strong and a person who has worth and love to GIVE others. Peace.
I truly understand. Your monster is also your best friend. No one in your circle gets that. I get it, though. The cord you're supposed to cut is a mile wide of metal.
"sex and love addiction" is a real thing
Ross you are so spot on about this. Since I left this last narcissist in November of 2016 and quit dating and started therapy I feel so lonely it's unbearable. This is the hardest thing I ever have done in my life.
Dr. Rosenberg, you hit the nail on the head. Please keep giving us your knowledge. Everyday I get better and better. 14 years
THANK YOU DR. ROSENBERG, for the first time in my life, I feel I have heard what is the root cause of co dependency. The withdrawal symptoms from a narc is loneliness...wow....You are a great teacher. And very kind to share and want to help people on CZcams. God Bless you.
You are so awesome and kind in the delivery of your message. For us suffering, you help us understand that our issues are deep-rooted. And we can become who we desperately want to be...free, and loved, because we deserve it.
Thank goodness for all these videos after 21 years I was really starting to go crazy with all that goes on in my life.
Loneliness goes away when you connect with your self and honor your feelings
Thank you for explaining this ! 30 years of not knowing why! Thank you for making a difference I'm my life!! Janeen
Wow! You nailed my story. Never felt good enough, even though I spent my entire life trying to get recognized for my self sacrifice. Painful loneliness from losing my father at an early age and being the youngest of a large family watching my Mother deal with her situation. I pretty much raised myself from 8. I married a woman with three kids and after 24 years, I’ve never been good enough. I have given everything to my family and they couldn’t care less. I feel they see my choices out of weakness. My wife constantly flirts and I’m 100% sure she’s had multiple affairs. I’m successful at my career, have run 100 miles, worked full time while getting multiple degrees. Have multiple professional licenses but I’m still feeling inadequate. My wife hunters me with small amounts of attention, Ocasio all mad love bombing. It hit home yesterday when I was almost in a freeway accident, cars flipping right next to me, scary crap. I pulled over and called my wife to say I love you and her response was what would you like for dinner. Not a care in the world. Whole new perspective today. Thanks
Self love has a lot to do with it, not being able to love myself when loved ones reject me. I'm working on it.
yes, one has to stop seeing oneself through others
So true... it is like getting off of drugs.. extreme withdrawal.... extreme loneliness. I told this 2 a friend but had no clue that this was actually factual & diagnosed by therapists in such a way. I am learning to love myself & recover from childhood trauma that caused this. One day at a time.
Your words make me Cry..! Self Love, I never loved myself ever till you say that to me today in this beautiful, Educative, wise, Magnificent, Awesome, amazing Video Doc..! Blessings on you Doc..! You Touched my Heart today..!
Self-respect. See long post below to know exactly what that means.
I really like how you present this.Truthful but not harsh.Thanks.
I've found that silence is truly golden.
At exactly one year old I was given up for adoption, I spent six months in a foster home and was adopted. My belief and experience is intense loneliness. I tried a couple relationships but of course they didn’t work out. The last one was 15 years ago and it was very unhealthy. I’ve never felt loved nor that anyone really wants anything to do with me even though I was a people pleaser. As and older person now and watching this video I realize I must become my own person and find out what makes me whole. Connecting with healthy people instead of the many other codependents and narcissistic people out there. Thanks, yours, forever alone.
Great video. I'm going through all this right now. I'm 3.5 months free from my last narcissist. I had withdrawals, but I think I'm doing better. One day at a time.
Amazing, I've been looking for that explanation so long. Now all makes sense. Thank you!
So spot on..after so many years of working on myself I get it. Great video!
Thank you Doctor for your empathy.. and your work in this regard. May God bless you for the difference you make to other people's lives.. I'm a codependent and everything u said is absolutely true.. dad was a narcissist and now I attract emotionally unavailable men and slightly arrogant. Maybe not full blown narcissist. The fear of loneliness makes me want to stay in relationships that are not serving me... It's so painful to be alone cuz it's like going through anxiety and trauma
Thank you. So much wisdom here! Thanks for being a voice to so many of us who have been abused and victimized and are trying to rise from the ashes..... thank you!
This resonates so insanely well. Thank you 💛💙💜💚❤
Wow, this was very eye opening for me!! So helpful but scary at the same time. I am just beginning my healing and your videos are helping so much.
I've lived with a narcissistic mom and I've had bad relationships with men who are narcissists too.I've found my self going back to men who were not good for me. I've slowly discovered that this is a product of how ive been raised too. thanks this is an eye opener.
i go to Coda meetings for six months now,thank you dr rosenberg.
Thank you so much for this video!!! It is really cool of you to do these videos to help so many people.
I certainly know what it’s like to be with a narcissistic woman. My soon to be Ex Wife was a Narcissistic Sociopath. I blinded myself & convinced myself she was so much more than she was & is.
But everything you say is just so true and relatable to me. I am not even making sense right now because I am just so astonished at how right you are! I mean this is so familiar to me!
The thing is the last few years of my marriage has been very lonely. My ex met a group of selfish, man hating lesbians. They completely took my wife & idk stole her in ways but idk.
I wish I could explain myself better and spend the time to explain my situation but this is all resonating so deeply with me!
Great segment, thank you for the resources and the insight.
This is the most helpful, thorough, and right-on explanation of CoD that I have ever heard. Brilliant.
This is the best video on co-dependency I’ve ever seen. Excellent! So well said. So clarifying. Thank you Dr Rosenberg.
My parents are insecure narcissists. When they learned I was reading the truth, they attacked me. I pretty much learned that a human being will betray his or her own children to maintain their status in society. Whether that society is high society or society in a particular church (in this case, the Church which is called after Jesus' name in these Latter-days), they will sell out their own offspring to maintain their relationships. The Church has eaten their ability of discernment. They are as blind as pharisees or saducees.
The only reason I stay with them is that I have no other place to go, but I'm quietly empowering myself. I am free of the hypocrisy, but not from the abuse I receive from my own parents regarding my own beliefs. I won't be free of that until I have the ability to physically separate myself from them. I've also been quietly empowering them, also, so they won't be dependent on me.
It's worse than that. I learned the night before then that they have no room in their hearts for me and my siblings. My brother Jeremy gave up his self respect and became Peter Perfect. My brother Seth gave up his innocence. My sister Hollie gave up her heart. All because my siblings wanted to be loved by them.
However, someone is on the way that could possibly soften their hearts. She's my spiritual identical twin -- and she isn't asking much of me. In fact, she wants to give me all of her.
Yeah, it's very rocky, last week I told my sister (who's hiding her homosexuality from herself) that I loved her. My brother Jeremy loves me, and my brother Seth loves me. I return my love to them.
I've been promised that they will love my twin flame, I don't know when; but I guess I'll find out in about a week. ;)
Oh, in case you're wondering if I'll move from one co-dependent relationship into another, it's not going to happen. Twin Flames have the toughest relationships in the history of relationships. There's no room for narcissism in a twin flame relationship. If it manifests, it has to die.
Yeah, it's awesome. There's like 6 phases in a twin flame relationship. The first is reunion: where twin flames discover each other. The second is the testing phase, where the Twin Flames test each other against their backgrounds. the third is Crisis means that the Ego is about to die and it warns the Twins that it has to survive.
The fourth is the runner phase: one or both twins' Egos have to survive. So we run. This is the toughest phase. This is where therapists can step in and heal both twins -- preferably apart. :) [fight or flight, you can't fight your beloved so you usually flee]. The fifth phase is Surrender. This is where the twins' ego finally dies, and both twins surrender to the reality of each other and their mission here on Earth.
The final Phase leads to perfection. The Ego does crop up from time to time. It's called Harmonization -- where the two twin flames learn true unity.
The trick is to bypass stages 2, 3, and 4 and get to the surrender stage of the relationship. So, after we are together, I'll have to talk to my twin about me and possibly her getting some therapy for co-dependency. :)
elton robb I'm curious, how can both parents be narcissists? Wouldn't they need a codependent as a partner?
Cyndi Moring your be surprised. Lolololol. It's truly disgusting.
great video, I learned so much!!!
You've just shone a bright light on certain feelings I grappled with from childhood from parents' abuse. Thank you.
This is absolutely true. The loneliness is earth shattering, extremely painful. I am a recovering codependent in therapy after two relationships with narcissists over 8 years. You will stay in any relationship to avoid the painful loneliness.
Thank you so much for your video :) I really needed it :)
Love this video. Thank you ❤
Thank you so much. Like others here, this is a gift of hope. I've experienced overwhelming loneliness my entire life and this is the first time I've had it articulated so powerfully and meaningfully. A gift - gratefully received!
Thank you so so much! You hit right on target, and it was an answer to prayer!
Yes I see this with domestic violence’s victims who look for new man
Lauren Paterson ... your post made me remember something that happened almost 25-30 years ago. I knew a woman from a support group who was going through a divorce with an abuser - more than likely a narcissist. Just as soon as her divorce was final, it was as if she went into a zoned-out, enraptured state with another man immediately and was flying high on Cloud 9. Almost like she was on heroin. I was so shocked at how quickly she found a new man, and knew that it wasn't good for her. But she was off and running. Never did know how that new relationship turned out.
This is fantastic. I had no idea what label to put on That Mystery Feeling -- an unwanted emotional anchor trying to pull me down, down, down into horribly polluted and dangerous and terrifying waters -- no way to describe That That Mystery Feeling after I escaped my abusive, alcoholic husband (I also didn't have access to a good therapist at the time, just a psychiatrist who preferred to medicate my feelings into submission).
Anyhow, my mind told me that escaping a husband who's been an abusive tyrant and then tried to kill me was a good thing.
But something deep inside which I could not identify -- That Mystery Feeling -- a jagged crater lined with broken glass -- both white-hot and colder than death -- that something made me crave him, made me want him back, made me run endless one-sided conversations with this cruel person who -- thanks to a protective order -- wasn't there -- and I never, ever, ever would've described That Mystery Feeling as "loneliness".
Wow... years later, and the toxic legacy remains strong... but your tapes are truly helping. I actually feel better -- a touch of life's natural color has returned to brighten my monochromatic internal landscape -- I feel better at having a label to put on That Mystery Feeling... wow. And thank you.
Linda Broussard as reading your comment it appears that your torturous relationship with your alcoholic husband has made you an descriptive author you need to write down the comment if you're reading this maybe write a short book nothing long to help other women.
V free Totally agree! Doesn't she have a marvelous descriptive way with words!? She is captivating and cuts right to the heart of things. At the very least, I hope that she will journal her feelings and experiences, and later on, pass it on to someone who finds themselves dealing with a simular situation!! (Yes, I too believe it could be very helpful, because I'm sure that others could absolutely and instantly relate to it.)
Beautiful. Thank you! Still working on all of this codependency stuff. Such good information!
Oh SO true! Excruciatingly painful lonliness!
This was a good basic lay of beginning of recovery from codependency. I'll back this up because I've been in recovery from it since last year. Unfortunately without a therapist because in my area it's hard to find one like this, also I was scared to go to one because I was afraid of being treated like I was a threat. But I'm thankful for the support system I had at the time. I've had to learn by trial and error, but now I'm realizing where my problems come from, trauma. I remember the loneliness being so bad, and I've had this several times over my life, but I could feel my skin as if it were an empty pool, like you could look on it, and see a bottom. It was strange and scary. I'd share this video.
Great video, very informative and helpful. Working on some codependency issues myself. Thanks
Ross, Thank you for this video, it was right on and a beautiful gift to all that will watch it. Thank you for the work you do.
Thanks for this, I will have to listen to it again and again. It gives me new appreciation for finally being free, away from my narcissistic family dynamic and away from my previously unhealthy relationship(s). It is JUST ME now, but yes, I am suffering from loneliness.... I'm glad to know that this is a healthy part of healing.
A favourite lyric of mine that applies: "Loneliness is getting hard to perceive; seems it never comes or it never leaves"
Thank you again for this upload :)
Thank you so much! Wow, you explained my life! Where can I find a therapist like you for help? I'm ready!!
What do you do when Your entire Family is narcissists?
You separate from them.
Do what i have done. Walk away from them.
Runnnn
This video was a blessing! It makes so much sense to me now why I am this way. Praise God! You were born to answer these questions to help and heal others and I'm so grateful.
I can not believe how every word I hear from you rings so true Ross sincere thanks.
recovered... but this 100% accurate!
It is.
I know this loneliness. Torture pain, seriously. I had enough of my narcissist kicked him out and I got so sick. I didn't sleep for six months, I thought food was poison, I begged him to come back with suicide attempts.... That was many years ago, but he's right about the pain of this type of loneliness. The insomnia was so severe, I still suffer twenty years later, don't love myself. That's it.
I am sorry- I too had a couple of relationships like this and suffered as well, thinking all the while: Why am I doing this to myself? But I just could not stop this because the loneliness was so crippling that I felt depressed and crazy. I felt suicidal and could not function without strong antidepressants. This video has made me realize that I honestly DO have an addiction. I never realized that I had an addiction- a real problem. My brother is an alcoholic (addiction) in my mind that was not going to happen to me. I thought that I had escaped the childhood trauma of neglect and emotional abuse- boy was I mistaking. Thank you for opening my eyes. Several therapist later, none of them even came close.
I have a narc wife. I was confused for a while about me or her or both of us being a narsacist. Now after watching this, its clear I am a co dependant. we have split for two months now because she lied to the police to punish me as narcs do and stopped me seeing my kids for that time. The loneliness has nearly made me kill myself. I remember (while i was watching this video) crying as a child because my mother never seemed to be there when i needed her. She seemed to do a great job raising 3 kids on her own but she was and is so angry and insulting. I've clung to my wife to much for to long making her not respect me and to then think she can talk to me how she likes and lie about me to everyone. I can't get divorced because I am a Christian. This has to be worked out starting with myself.
Thank you for this video.
+Nicholas Robinson Get away from your toxic wife. God will foRgive you, because a loving God does not want his children to be abused and suffer. Ask for help, get a support system, and find out how to protect yourself legally. You deserve love and respect. Start by respecting yourself and then love yourself, because I know it's hard to do it the other way around when you have not done it all your life. Do not just sit and wait for her to change. They never do. Best wishes.
+PopSugar Sprinkles
Thank you so much.
Good luck. You can divorce and you'll be a great role model for your children on how to practice self love.
Nicholas Robinson
Your wife is not loving you nor respecting you as the bible teaches a couple to live by.
The church told me I was completely and justifiably dismissed from my marriage.
Thank you so much for deciphering,"simplifying" all these feelings and struggles I have !been dealing and suffering with for far too long.
This was one of the best videos I’ve watched. You explained things in a very simple way and you were right on. I can completely relate and now understand the root of my codependency. For me loneliness is as you described it “painful “ but I’m learning. I’m definitely not going back to a destructive and toxic relationship.
I have no idea how to break the cycle. I have been broken up with my narrcissitic ex for four years and still feel the constant heartbreak. We have a daughter together and because of that, I still have to see him. I try to be strong and give him as little engagement as possible, but he still manages to pull me back in his cycle, over and over, making me feel weak. 4, almost 5 years is a long time to feel heartbroken. It's almost as if my head can't convince my heart that he's not what I thought him to be...
Good luck. I hope it works out. Start doing therapy and doing things for yourself that make you feel good. You are worthy of love
makuyiigmu study on soul ties you haven't broken the soul ties and believe me I had a soul-tie for 30 years I'm so glad I broke it and it was a process if you don't you're going to go on to the next 30 Years also.
you need to realise that he's using your daughter to get to you. he's using YOUR CHILD to do that. go and get help, it s a breakble cycle, i promise you that. you can get out of it, but what you need to understand, first off all, that he is not at all like you. you need to understand him, the way he works, the way he thinks and feels. it's so different and seems hard to understand that a person can't have emotions, but they just can't. to me, understanding my narc was the key. because by understanding what he goes through day by day will make you realise how miserable, narrowminded, weak and predicatble he is. You already know how he's going to react to everything, you cand hear what he's about to say in your head before he even starts to talk, you know how he's going to react in certain situations. You already have all the knowledge. And knowledge is power ;) Undertsanding him gave me the power to forgive him and to move on after 4 years of emotional torture. i know how hard it is, but you really have to want to let go. do not talk to him, do not call him, ask a relative to stay with your daughter while she sees him. yet it sounds to me that you don't want it to be over yet. you are not ready to move on. but you need to understand that he will never cut the cords with you. that emotional toxic connection, you need to break it, ot at least ignore it. To this day, there are times when i feel it, i feel like he will call me, or contact me in some way and try to drag me back in that circus. but you need to realise that you're better than that, that circus is not you.
Hey. I watched a youtuber by the name Angel Speaks .... She touches on this subject because she has children with her ex narc and has to see him every two weeks. Check out her videos. It might help you heal a little faster. Angel Speak's
Hello, how can one come to love self when all others seem to reject you? I'm a 40 year old, professional male, who feels lonely even when I'm around people. I feel like an alien in this world. I'm a nice, caring, Christian and yet I cannot maintain friendships. I have simply come to the conclusion that people are prideful, arrogant, self-centered, lairs that only seek to please themselves? My whole life no one has ever wanted to get to know or accept me. I always try to seek people, show interest in them, listen, acts of kindness, and as time goes on I get nothing but disinterest and rejection.
I have the same problem. It doesn't help that I've been chronically ill nearly all of my 20s, either. I seem to be making progress with my health baby steps at a time, but no one can understand the ill unless they've been there. And everyone is too busy to remember those whose life is put on hold while they still have their health and ability to live their life. I'm sorry you can't find the right people. I know how much that sucks.
I understand it too. A lot of it is that you're exactly right! People (the vast majority of them) in this culture of selfishness and pride, are exactly as you've described them. And the scripture told us they would be exactly that way! We are living in times that have been foretold, and most in this culture simply do not care about others. They don't. But there are a few who do, and it is those that we should have as friends. Think of Servant-hearted projects, volunteers who go out of their way to serve others because of the love that's in their hearts. They don't get paid, it's strictly a volunteer sacrifice of time, love, and energy. Maybe they serve the infirmed, the elderly, the homeless, the needy. Christians should be doing this anyway, from tender hearts, not with pride. I have heard that such people become friends with each other, and care for each other. It makes perfect sense, they care, others don't. So they appreciate each other, and show it. I'm sure you have noticed that this culture has taken on narcissistic traits over the last 30 years, more so, the last 20. People in general are focused on themselves and their own selfish priorities. They don't give a flip about others, much less, the hurting! So I believe the thing to do is to find people who have the heart of Jesus. You have spoken of kindness and traits that were once common, that are now downright rare. The world would have you become bitter and selfish too. Don't. You have much to offer, and only fools are too blind and walk away. I know you feel like the odd man out, like an alien in your own turf, but the world has become stony-hearted all around us, so naturally, we are different. But we were called to be different, loving, and kind. They rejected Him, Love personified, so why should we think they'll care about us. Apostate "christians" have also grown hard hearts, they are nothing like Him, so there can't be friendship there either. No, we should be looking for those who do what He did, who reclaim the hurting. For what it's worth, I would want to know you. "Guard your heart, for out of it flow the issues of life." Proverbs 4. Be well, my friend, may His peace keep your heart tender, and in His Hand. -- Hugs. :)
C Aslaneh Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. May God bless you.
I am going through the process of leaving a narcissist, so I found this video incredibly helpful. Thank you for creating it! I can't express how much I relate to everything you have said.
Thank you for your you tube channel. You give me hope! It’s been hell to say the least to wake up at 60 years old and realize I’m lacking love for myself! I thrive on helping others! I don’t know what to do without it! I separated and then go back for another round of abuse! That’s really the addiction. You nailed it loneliness! My narcissistic husband committed suicide and now I’m awake to the mental abuse of my adult daughter! I had no idea I enabled them both until he died! My heart is broken in pieces but I am gonna survive as you and many others have proven I can! Thank you for your you tube channel and for being honest.
Great video! My question is: would a recovering co-dependent form a relationship with another recovering co-dependent?! I have left a narcissist and stayed clear of intimate relationships for 2 years! Mr perfect found me and we hit it wonderfully. It's been 1 year now. I find myself acting weird. My partner is caring, considerate and always ask me what would I like to do, go, eat! He've been through a horrific relationship with a narc too. He is happy to please and easy going. Yet he maintains his individuality. On the other hand, am turning into a narco path. Grabbing, clutching and overbearing somtimes! I wanted freedom for the longest time fought for it too! Yet I find myself wanting to be owned, captured and possessed by another!
I do stop and keep myself in check every now and again. Then I go back on this mad circle of why can't he be my all and am his! Sounds scary and exactly what I ran from. I have reffered to my partner as co-dependent as I have noticed he struggled to say no. Some times he agrees to plans but I can tell he is not happy abput it. don't want to lose this good man or my sanity and individuality! Am turning into a narc, or am I one and didn't notice till now! Or is this picking up fleas after being married to a narc for many years! Thanks for reading. Hope someone can help me understand what's wrong!
This is a painful video to watch
MsEliza dashwood yes, you go “omg” it’s me, “oh my, it’s just like that!” I was nodding the entire time. It’s painful but thank God for awareness! It’s the first step. These acceptance. Then action. By taking baby steps we find the way out. And that is, as he said, self-love.
God bless you.
I've been looking for these answers all of my life.. Your work has saved me and my family. I will get your books.Thk you!!
Once again you have given us the key to understand yourself.that's no small thing. It is also I think,the key for victory!
I realized I need the loneliness. I need to be with God and ask him to please guide my steps. I was with this narc for a reason...
yes, same here, I was able to get over a narc using God's help
what if the narcissist isn't a parent but rather the narcissistic society we live in?
Hey Ross. Your videos are incredibly enlightening. I want to thank you for your advice and expertise in this area, it's very valuable.
Thank u so much for your free CZcams videos you and many others here have helped the quality of my life! ❤️
love cannot exist without freedom..........freedom is the key to love.........control , overt or covert squelches love....and is the breeding ground for co-dependency. Self love doesn't exist.........love requires a relationship an other to value and sacrifice for. codependency attempts to give for the wrong reasons without having a storehouse of resource to give from. we must learn to receive from loving people, ultimately God. this is confusing at first because loving people have boundaries and may seem impossible to get to until we learn to trust GRACE and assert and ask for help and our needs to be met........unearned and undeserved favor. people pleasers always try to earn and deserve love and someone controlling latches onto our guilt and uses it to their own advantage.
breaking the cycle means we stop seeing love as something we can do without taking in healthy love from healthy people. we must posses love before we can give it away. if we don't have it we can't give it.
RECOGNIZING REAL LOVE FROM A LOVE COUNTERFIT IS KEY.....LOVE IS A FREE SACRIFICE OF TIME ENERGY AND RESOURCES FROM THE HEART....you can't know love is real unless they have and demonstrate freedom to say no and to hear no........... "A FREE NO LEADS TO A FREE YES" doing things which masquerade as love will lead to dissapointment when we realize over time that what we thought was love was mutual counterfits of love hiding their control or neediness.
LEARNING TO TEST LOVE AND WAIT FOR ITS MOTIVE TO MANIFEST IS KEY!!! DON'T RUSH THIS PROCESS OF TESTING RELATIONSHIPS OVER TIME BEFORE YOU ARE VULNERABLE OR SACRICE MORE THAN YOU SHOULD.
People always talk about self-love but what does that actually mean. Telling someone to love themselves when they don't know how to is cruel!
Gulliver7 Self Love is learning how to self care. Getting plenty of rest as well as exercise. Making sure you are feeding yourself and caring for your body. Saying no, when you don’t want to do something, not always giving in yo what other people want.
I just started the learning process of self love. I'm 28. I used to ask the same question Gulliver, couldn't understand, but t klein summed it up perfectly.
Also trusting that little voice in your head called intuition. It almost never fails you.
I am a recovering codependent and i really appreciate this video. thank you
This is therapy gold!
Thank you Ross!