Matteo Lane Roasts Christmas In New York City
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- čas přidán 13. 12. 2022
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Matteo’s vibe is literally a grumpy old man annoyed with the kids on his lawn and longing for the golden years and I’m here for it 🤣
I'm totally here for it too! 😆
Yes.
Christmas is the city truly is Survivor 🤣
@Michelle not only the capitolism but also they are restricted environmentally too. No access to fresh foods, total surveillance due to crime the list goes on.
12:47pm. The true spirit of holidays has been overplayed by retailers and materialism. Bah humbug
Literally the most New York thing to want to walk around and enjoy the city but complaining the whole time about how everybody else isn’t doing it right. I for one relate completely ❤️
Yeah 🎅😂 I also wonder what Christmas would actually look like for Matteo & Co.! What would you add and what would you remove from it ? ❤️🎅☺️ N
Js, not just a NY thing
Just did that last Friday, to keep our tradition going
Egads this is the perfect dishing to wake up to on the last day of 2022. I work at Pike Place Market in Seattle and deal with "holiday cheer" all day every day until January. I cannot wait until Tuesday and lock myself away from it all while someone else tears it all down and hides it away for another year.
Hangout with Parisian.
The earmuff arc is the best thing I’ve seen in a while, absolutely hilarious
1000%!
He's cute wearing and probably the closest he has ever gotten to a muff
@@dawnmarie1433 😂😂😂😂 brilliant!
Yes!!!! 😂😂😂
I have earmuffs that are pandas and I think they’re very cool 😎
You know the old Italian man tradition of walking through construction sites and not giving a fuck about anything? That's Matteo's vibe, just walking around New York grumpy af, complaining about the lack of holiday cheer and judging whether each guy he passes is a bottom or a top. I'm not judging at all I absolutely love it.
Old Italian men in construction sites not giving a fuck? 😅
Not impressed, yes.
Not caring? Never! 😂
Italian men magically became architects and construction engineers after retiring. And tattlers.
They loiter around construction sites in organized groups, criticizing the hell out of everything and everyone and pissing every worker.
It's basically the national sport, besides soccer... 😅
Back in the early 90's during the Christmas season, my best friend, Michael (RIP) who worked retail for Neiman's and I for Tiffany & Co, in San Francisco would spend our only day off sitting on the benches on Union Square and smoke Marlboro Reds and drink from a flask and make up stories about the people walking in and out of the stores. Getting drunk and just wasting an afternoon cracking each other up was the absolute best! It was something we did every year for four years until Michael's death from AIDS. It has been 30something years now and I can recall every snarky remark, eyeroll and impromptu outburst we shared. Matteo your annoyance with the whole thing in NYC made me smile through tears.
I'm so sorry about Michael. Both of my brothers, Keith and Kris, were gay (like Matteo and his brother!) and I lost them both to AIDS in the 90's. Kris lived in NYC for a few years and had the same reaction as Matteo. Just TOO much hype and not enough true Christmas Cheer. They would have adored Matteo tho.
I'm glad you have such a precious memory of your friend....he sounds like a wonderful person and a lot of fun! Merry Christmas stranger!
@@notyourbizz5211 To you and yours a wish for good health and the best of a New Year. Also, thank you for the lovely acknowledgement and my deepest sympathy! For people like us, COVID was not the first pandemic in our lifetime. We watched many beloved die from a distance, health care workers overwhelmed by the hundreds they lost each day and a President who couldn't manage to address much less say those four letters. It wasn't until straight people start dying that the Government felt they had to do something. A sad but true part of our history.
@@lisarhoades965 I hadn't thought of it in those terms but you couldn't be more right. The 90's devastated the gay community and so much misinformation was spread. It was a heartbreaking time to live thru and I never want to see another pandemic in my lifetime. Thank you for your lovely reply and Merry Christmahaunaquanzadan! And may the New Year bring us much-needed joy!
@@notyourbizz5211 🤗
Continued safe journeys to Michael, Keith, and Kris. I'm so glad y'all have good memories of them to warm your hearts through the years, though I wish they were still with you instead.
There was a gal in a massage-covid group I found during shutdown that was in-practice at the beginning of the AIDS pandemic and she had a lot of great wisdom that stemmed from those early days of terror. I also found out the dental practices regarding sanitation protocols, etc stemmed from learning more about AIDS and how it spread. (It's the covid micro- clotting that terrifies me as a massage therapist; there's no way for us to know or be forewarned. I retired this year from the field.)
I'm still in awe that within 40yrs of it initially striking, there are now methods of controlling the virus that prevent spread as well as improve quality of life and life span for those that have contracted it. My continued hope is that they can eradicate it quicker than they essentially eradicated smallpox (200yrs).
Matteo: There are too many people skating in there.
Also Matteo: I wonder how much it costs.
My favorite part was the "they should limit how many people go in there" and then "they're *somehow* sold out tonight" story arc
This video should have been titled “Christmas gives me anxiety and I’m sharing it with you.” 😂😂😂 love you Matteo ❤
4:51 lmaoo I love how he whispers "this whole place is for rich people" like they're gonna kick him out of the store if he reveals the truth
We all just watched Matteo reach that age point where function > fashion. Congrats! Welcome to the club! Sweatpants are on their way.
Comfy Gang
Matteo is clearly our generation's Nathan Lane. When are we going to get Matteo in The Bird Cage? This timeless classic needs an update, and this singing, dancing, comedic triple threat needs to be on on the big screen!
Such a GREAT movie!!
Who else would you cast and for what parts? 🤔 Which role for Matteo? 😉 I would watch, yup.
@@SuZ4242 I want to see Nick Jonas as his husband and of course Timothy Chalamet as the son, and Ryan Reynolds as the maid.
@@richiejohnson Perfect. Blockbuster movie!
@@thelairdknows2389 💜 It DEMANDS to be done
1:42 the guy at the right eavesdropping and laughing is everything
Kids are playing with avocado!! I’m dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Matteo - If anyone can bring back those ear muffs, it's YOU! I think you made them look goooood. Can't wait to see you next year in Indy!!!
I'd love see Matteo in earmuffs... only.
@@flgardener1155 Not outside in this weather though...he'll catch a cold.
I love the vibe of stressed gay man. That’s how I feel in every public situation honestly
Matteo only smiling and laughing when he's talking about everybody else not smiling and laughing is me
If the fanny pack can make a full comeback, horizontal man-muffs can too. I'm with you. No one is happy during the holidays but yet every year, here we are. Thanks for another one! 🎄🎅❄
Massive Coco Peru vibes when you are inside the stores complaining about everything 😄
8:15 - "But we were over thereee!!"
Such a good moment 😂😂
He never appears forced or practiced. He seems like such a genuinely funny guy that just says whatever pops into his head and it’s hilarious. And he looks sexy in ear muffs.
NYC was just voted the Grinchiest city. Not enough decorations up & not enough places to buy them.
Matteo forgot what happened to the fox tree last year
@@INDIEMUSICGUY1966 Fox probably lit it on fire themselves to have actual news content :D 🤔🤣
@@user-tt5xj5ib1e Have my money, damn it!
No joke, I spent a couple of Christmases in NYC and felt like it was so depressingly devoid of actual Christmas cheer! 🤣
Its bc its full of tourists…?
Even when he's mad, he's still precious. I feel you though. That whole trip looked like it was overwhelming and crowded 😬 It gives me the feeling of "I left my house for this??"
Rockefeller Center and 5th Ave were the most stressful part of our NYC experience. Never again 😂
I rarely laugh at anything. Matteo just looks at me and has me cackling throughout the video🤣
I literally just spit coffee at the "wall of c** rags" comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀
"I might as well walk around with a Pikachu"
I actually expected the very next cut to be Matteo walking around with a Pikachu.
2:29 "That's like Robin Williams in Hook"
2:50 "This is the dad from Home Alone"
New people watching game, find movie father doppelgangers in crowds. Bonus points for seasonal finds. Matteo got 20 points just then. Beat his score.
Matteo is slowly morphing into Coco Peru. "This bothers me."
9:11 Matteo! I was on that express bus, recognized you and waved furiously, with a huge smile too!! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!!👍🏻😊🧡
I totally relate to this. Was in NY in December and my god the city was at once both christmassy and miserable. No one was smiling, everyone was angry and it actually ruined Christmas for me. I won’t go to NY for Christmas ever again.
I'm so happy I'm not the only one who thinks these EXACT thoughts while walking around midtown and Times Square during Christmas time.
We need a Hallmark movie where Matteo learns the true meaning of Christmas
Thanks, Matteo! I lived in Manhattan for an extremely long time and I felt this way every freaking Christmas.🎄
People never appreciate what they have, I'm in another country and I'm dying to visit NYC but I cant...
@@mrmr4622 no it’s actually a tradition! If you leave nyc you have to complain about nyc for the rest of your days 😂 I think it’s written in fine print at the end of each lease agreement.
"Its a no for me" 🤣 Christmas doesn't give me joy, but Mateo Lane roasting New York does.
The earmuffs look cool dad, don't worry, just keep distracting them with 25 year old movie references 😉 jokes aside, this is my absolute favorite thing to watch on CZcams, I could watch y'all walk around NYC all day. Thank you for the work you put in to your videos! *Also - your Advice special was FANTASTIC and I admire you for putting it out on CZcams. You absolutely have the drive and talent to sustain your career on your own🤘
I used to work in Rockefeller Center and Christmas was always just the worst. Matteo is bringing the correct energy.
You keep wearing those earmuffs! I don’t care how they look, they are great 😅
I picked up on the "leave the Christmas tree for dead" quote. And I just wanted to let everyone know, when the lights are taken off and all the festivities are over, the tree is then taken to a saw mill and made into lumber, which then is donated to Habitat for humanity to build houses for the less fortunate..
The tree is also donated.
This year it came from a family in Queensbury NY...
Merry Christmas To All...
6:49 " this bear is staring at a wall he's got issues"..idk why that made me LOL
This video is kinda giving me Nona and her grandson exploring NYC holidays energy and i loved every second of it!!
Matteo, go find a Santa Claus, sit on his lap, and tell him how you want it to be. It would be cathartic for us all.
Great Video! I am glad you're honest about the experience you had..Anyone else would have sugar-coated it. There's nothing wrong with being grumpy and Italian, and you really rocked the Northface jacket and the earmuffs..Buon Natale!!
Part of me wishes Matteo made 2 different versions. Go back the next night and play the 'Christmas special host' with a stick up their ass lodging way too much cheer up there! Wear an extra-long Angora scarf, and notice how every bit of minutiae is "simply charming" and "adorable." "Every year, I think the tree looks better than the last, and this one is lit as if from heaven above!" He could really sell it like a $2 QVC item retailing for $59.99!
"Look at these fantastic skaters. They're not letting anyone fall down. That's the Christmas spirit right there!"
"Even on the sidewalk, you can hear the magic of 7 carols playing all at once."
"I'm smelling roasted chestnuts! Where are the chestnuts?"
He could Hoot The Hell Out Of This with a secondary version. Maybe next year. 😅
This feels like the un-drag version of Miss Coco Peru walking through a supermarket, and I'm living for it. Buon Natale, Matteo!
That bothers me!
Matteo obsessed with being uncool in ear wraps while wearing The North Face. 😆😆😆
You are so much fun, Matteo. Cannot get enough of you. And Chris has got to be the coolest camera man, ever.
Pessimistic me feels attacked. You taken my hatred for the holidays and maxed it out 1000 times lol thank you Mateo for making us laugh 😂
Mateo is just a real New Yorker, i feel the anxiety and stress everyday in this city! Its a struggle just walking through the crowds. 😅
“No furniture- are people carrying sofas”? 😂
Your mother’s Christmas tree light tip is 100% spot on!
Never imagined it, as a purely white-lights person, but I am excited to try this out. Thank you, Matteo y Mama.
Give me a haunted house over ANYTHING Christmas any day of the week! I was stressed just watching you. That was introvert hell - cold and filled with humans. The things nightmares are made of! You are great though. I hope you doubled your meds for that video!
Matteo and I have that same "elder gay who is so over it all" energy and I love it.
i am so happy you said they should be playing nat king cole, his songs just naturally make me feel the holiday spirit
Monsieur Grinch Lane in full glory... LOVED IT!!!! Hahahaha...
I went to a market yesterday post work to get some random decorations or maybe a kinda 'happy' top to wear but just ended up walking at my usual speedy pace while jostling the hordes and didn't get anything and only about checked out a couple of spots. Only good thing was getting some yum grub to go and then getting the heck out of that nightmare to get back back home and stuffing me face. Yep! I'm 36 and this is life now... 🤣
At least you get to live in New York 🌆😊
God I feel this so much, hahaha. Every time December rolls around I get tempted to head back up to NYC and go check everything out but then whenever I do I go full Grinch Lane by the time I'm done and this video was a perfect reminder why😂
Rockefeller Center at Christmas 🎄 time is horrid. Baby carriages, people bigger than a tree walking around clueless... thank you, Matteo, for this ❤😂
I feel like we all know Matteo. Like he’s our cousin we don’t visit often enough.
I think Matteo looks adorable in the ear muffs 🥰
You are so cute in those earmuffs.Yup. You had a MUFF around your HEAD. Process that! 🤣🤣🤣 I'm going to do Christmas things in NY this weekend. I promise I'll be smiling!!!
lol this cracked me up many times. Obviously the highlight of the cat-in-tree anecdote, but the pickles thing is hilarious too
This vid gave me real nyc Xmas cheer. I got to see all the lights, go to fao Schwartz (I never had the gall to step in there), agree with complaints, etc without dealing with the train or people or the cold 😂
The Odyssey of being continually more overstimulated and going with the flow is a very accurate Christmas in NY 💀
Matteo brin back those ear muffs. Claim it. They're so warm and so functional. It looks good. You make it look good. I'm going to get a pair of those actually. Lol
I think you could single handedly bring back the earmuffs. 🤘
Why is Matteo single, he is so adorably cute , funny, and very huggable.
Maybe by choice? He probably has a lot of options.
Okay, I'm picturing Matteo wearing only that pair of ear muffs, lying on a blanket in front of a fireplace!
Talk about Christmas cheer! 🥰🤣
i love matteo serving the coco peru realness
Scientific Illustration with Peggy Macnamara! She's a legend, an icon, she is the moment.
THERE IS A HORSE BEHIND YOU 🤣🤣🤣
These videos have such Miss Coco Peru energy and I love it.
5:42 is adorable because I can see Matteo slowly getting into loungefly collecting, especially star wars and maleficent
You're so freakin' funny always, but you HAVE to keep doing these adventure videos. They're gold. Your improv skills and quick wit are unmatched.
Matteo serving real Nick energy here 😂❤️😂
Just saw the video/podcast where the guy artist host told you he didn't think artistry could be genetically passed on.
I was a little offended, because my sister-in-law (artist/illustrator) produced 3 boys that seemingly came out of the womb with mad drawing skills. Your mom must be so proud of you in many ways.
Happy Holidays!
Dress it up like a drag queen and leave it for dead - LOL... Thanks for all the humor - it's been needed.
HOW DID HE MAKE THE EARMUFFS LOOK GOOD 😭😭
Lmaoooo I love you! This video perfectly embodies why I am hesitant to visit NYC 😂
You should go! Its amazing! 🗽🎄🎉
This should be titled Matteo complains like an old man for 10 minutes
🎄Bring on spring!🤣💐 Matteo would make the best Grinch! 😅
For a video that’s such a heavy roast for a city it made me wanna visit NY again
i want Matteo and Coco Peru to roast everyone they see on the streets of New York.
I will not make a joke about Matteo not finding an entrance, no Sir, I wouldn't stoop so low...
Joan Rivers Reincanate.. I needed this in my life.
I’m totally lol!!!!! You are such a delight to watch. There may have not been happy, smiling people there, but it’s NYC. ONE OF MY WORST VACATION EXPERIENCES EVER. But you Have made me smile and laugh this entire video!!! Thank you!
Oh honey, my mooooood exactly! I hate fun, apparently, and just want to stay home forever. LOL
Matteo come to Wisconsin where people smile, hug you and wish you merry Christmas even in July!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. I grew up in Manhattan and boy, what a difference!
This is what I need when I am home from work sick , thanks for making me smile a little today ..
Those earmuffs remind me of the ones I wore in the Navy, they were the only ones authorized in uniform.
Yes, they are warm.
This brought me joy at a bad time for me. Thank you.
"like I'm just going to walk thru you like Kitty Pryde" -- CLASSIC
I'm so old I kept "his ears must be cold!" before he said anything. I was so relieved when he put on the earmuffs.
10 minutes of constant bitching - this could totally be ME 😂😂😂
I love it when he says nobody is smiling 😄
Just be yourself baby!! I am buying ear muffs in solidarity ✨
I would warm his ears up, such a cutie
I love that the lumber from the Rockefeller Center Tree is used ever year to build a house for Habitat for Humanity!
After watching this video, I think I just realized that you are my spirit animal. Thanks for making me feel normal. 🤣😂
I always appreciate a twink giving the bears a callout
Keeping warm is always cool! You do you!
Matteo's jokes are so good that the California tree dressed as a drag queen left for dead December 26th played twice in the video; at the beginning and at 1:30 😅 still so funny even after I rewind several times.
The level of insane introspection and neurosis re: the $7 earmuffs is astounding. 🤣
ya bring on spring! this is what i think about christmas since 40 years...