The Toxic World of Hustle Culture, Fake Gurus & Self Help | Asmongold Reacts to James Jani
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- čas přidán 8. 07. 2022
- Asmongold Reacts to “The Toxic World of Self Help: Hustle Culture, Toxic Positivity, Addiction, and Fake Gurus.” By James Jani. Gary Vee, Andrew Tate on the thumbnail.
Original Video by James Jani: • The Toxic World of Sel...
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#Asmongold - Hry
Asmongold: Getting a false feeling of progress from books as dopamine is so alien to me
Also Asmongold: Fuck yea, I got my 253rd mount on the 3539th attempt
100%
Well you should consider that without "the fake feeling" of dopamine we would all get totally depressed and just not eat and die.
@@nahyeahwhatsahandle A mount is the friends we made along the way
Getting dopamine isn't a problem. Dopamine keeps you alive and makes you do things for survival. But tricking yourself into thinking you're improving something by just "reading" it is the problem. And that applies to many other scenarios. But mount farming is irrelevant
he was coping so hard during this vid.. it was sad he scoffs and mocks those who try to better themselves... his audience of neck beards are the ones who need these books the most. even if all the book does is motivate them to brush their teeth every day
I've been watching Asmongold for a while and I think it's working. Any day now I'll turn into a literal God.
I've been watching for over 5 years and I'm still a fucking degenerate
@@Juhnu I've been watching for half a second, now I'm a literal degenerate God.
Have you stopped showering yet?
Worked for me.
Just wait for the hair loss to kick in.. then you'll know
"There ain’t no money in the cure. The money’s in the medicine." - Chris Rock
Broke my leg, mama putting Robitussin on it ... *_"Yeah let that 'tussin soak down the the bone!!"_*
Listening to tubers and streamers give life advice is like going to a bar to learn how to get over alcoholism.
A great quote from a movie with bill bob Thornton " you can't help yourself because your self sucks".
George Carlin had a good quote on that:
Paraphrasing:
"How is this self-help? If it is self help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self-help, that's help! If you want to call it self help, you must read a book that you wrote yourself. And if you do that, that means you never needed help in the first place."
Yeah this dude is not even in shape and trying to Tell me Who to listen to lol
@@Visualiize very weird logic my dude
Aren’t you implying that youtubers and streamers suffer from illness similar to alcoholism which automatically makes their life advice inadequate?
cope was hard with this vid... not a great look for asmond.... yeah, screw reading and positive thinking... yeah 👏👌👍🤣
My ego death came one day when there was a crisis at school and I realized everyone was just as scared and faking it as I was and since then I've never been afraid of being in public or talking to people.
I literally told myself: "Oh my God... we're all the same..."
we are all the same organic "AI" lol
@@thisisfyne I pity those people, they never seem happy.
This happened to me when I started college back when I was younger. I went way out of my comfort zone and stopped caring about how I thought other people felt and just did what I needed to do.
Unironically, the biggest coincidence boost for me was seeing how shitty everybody else is.
I thought the trick was to realize your own greatness, but it was the other way round...
@@richardshiflett5181 Yup, you're unique just like everyone else.
I don't even understand people that want to be liked by everyone, seems stressfull as shit to try to please everyone around you all the time or to be happy 24/7...
for me it is wanting to make my familly proud of me(they do and already are) but i wanted to do something more and show them how great i can be and make them happy with what i accomplish and can acomplish for them and for myself and to repay them for all the good they have done for me, i don't feel the need to get validations from people outside my family and best friends though since i could care less what they say or think of me, basically i select the people who i wanna hear judging words from, which tends to be people close to me which is why i can't relate to people that gets offended or insulted over the internet or gets bullied by words(throughout highschool and colledge if people wants to bully me, they HAVE to physically bully me since mocking and spreading false rumors tends to not work as well for said bullies).
@@drearmouse9510 well no, I'm not talking about an echo chamber when I'm obviously in the wrong I'd want people I care about and whom I consider trustworthy to point it at me directly to my face and I'd do the same for them, it's just that randos don't really know you, like you for example idk you and you don't know me anything bad or good that comes out of YOUR mouth I don't care about because I don't trust you, any praises about me that comes out of YOUR mouth I don't care for, because the way I think is that you don't know me or trustworthy enough for your insults nor praises to really mean anything to my being.
Positivity can be very toxic, if you're never doing anything "wrong" there's nothing to fix, so you don't grow or learn anything
This is why Jordan Peterson is useful. He doesn't exist to make you feel good about yourself, he's there to show you what you could be
Or you can be like tim Dillon and start a fake business..
@@A_massive_wog Show you you could be a massive crybaby transphobe? Lol that guy is so pathetic. He should get back on the benzos.
@@A_massive_wog He just speaks in platitudes, just learn psychology, neurology, intelligence studies, simulated intelligences, AI, to properly learn about yourself and how things and you think.
Much easier!
@@Tyrrituil Some of us were not as smart as you and needed someone to open the door to seek further knowlege
I really liked Asmongold's anecdote about him using the wrong saw to cut down a tree out of stubbornness, and his dad using the correct saw to cut it down quickly. That's a real life lesson: learning/teaching by example to get the desired results. No "10 tree-cutting techniques that will make you the next Paul Bunyan", no shaming him for using the wrong tool or ridiculing him for being a fool. Just do it right and with minimum effort, trust your apprentice/student to understand the lesson, and move on.
The most insidious aspect of "self help" is when workplaces weaponize it. I worked for a large organisation where we were all loaned (not even given) copies of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", wasted countless meetings doing pop quizzes on it's contents, sent to meditation and had it drummed into us to "choose your attitude". This was essentially a way for the org to treat employees like absolute shit and if anyone challenged it well then they weren't choosing the RIGHT attitude.
Oh instead of replacing that Supervisor position, we'll just add another 30 people to the 60 you already supervise in a high risk healthcare environment! What you have burnout? CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE. I did eventually and went to work for a much better and healthier org but screw their corporate gaslighting.
Here are 3 tips to improve without bullshit:
1. Making mistakes is okay, as long it doesn't harm anyone. You learn better from mistakes. Or think about the person who made the mistake in your shoes. Learning how to bike can cause some scars, but you learn and adapt. When making mistakes, don't make most of it too much of a big deal. This one is very important.
2. Accept and experience what you truly feel deep down. You need peace and equilibrium for everyday, not happiness. If you have emotional pain and experiences, you need to accept them to feel better. No pain no gain.
3. Don't worry about things you cannot control. Divide tasks into small tasks to reduce being overwhelmed.
why only 3 tips and not 4 or 2?
that’s 4 tips :p 3 is like 2 tips in one
Yeah and this is common sense, or at least it should be.
That's basically Epictetus in a nutshell.
I have one to add: "Everything in moderation." Don't do anything too much. Don't think of anything too much. Take a step back every once in a while.
When I heard "hard work is its own reward" at work, it was kind of an acknowledgement that working hard often meant that people would keep giving you work and you were going to have to keep working hard. Given that I was working and being paid and judged on billable hours made this slightly more tolerable, but it was never an upbeat or happy statement; the partners who told me this were putting in insane hours and generally exhausted and short on sleep themselves. The grind never ends.
I was addicted to self-help books, videos, podcasts, etc. for a very long time. I got to a point that instead of it giving that hit of dopamine, I started feeling more and more depressed after every bit of content I consumed, because I noticed that nothing was actually changing in my life. I can write down my goals a million times, but the point that most of these books and guru's don't go over is what happens next; You have to take actionable steps towards those goals and that's different for every person and every goal. And taking those steps towards your goals are terrifying because the type of people who get sucked into this self-help-world are usually scared of failure or being seen as a failure.
That's how it was for me; what if I try and I fail? What if I just make a fool out of myself? -- So, I just didn't even take the first step. So, I kept reading, watching and listening in hopes that the next video, the next book, the next podcast was going to give me that one piece of information that was going to be the epiphany moment where everything I needed to do to be successful in life was going to be planned out in a completely foolproof way and everything in my life would finally click together like finding the missing puzzle piece. But that never happened, it was a constant search for some holy grail that actually doesn't exist. The hard truth that took all of my 20's to realize, you have to fail at some things to learn and that it's okay to give up/quit on certain goals as you change as a person or you realize that that goal wasn't something you actually even wanted.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I am addicted at watching these videos as well to the point I was going to leave my Grandmama and just let her die without me looking after her just so I can work at another city.
I earn only 50% above the minimum wage (clean) thru welding in a local fabrication shop and being an assistant leasing manager during weekends but with free rent, water and food because my Mother was providing it for me in exchange for looking after my Grandmama since my older brother died back in 2018. I was planning to do office work in a city plus part time just so I can earn twice with what I'm making but then it hits me that I will probably only have $40 at the end of the month because I have to pay rent, fare, and food and not to mention the guilt afterwards if my Grandmama died without any of her family members besides her.
These videos messed me up for a moment where I prioritized greed over everything else. Your comment was such an eye-opener for me.
Ps, I live in a third world country where our minimum is $220 and is very family centric.
@@quchi7232 The current culture of self help is centered around financial wealth which is fine for some, but If that's not your route to happiness then don't feel bad. Be there for your family man
@@MajorJefferson It doesn't make sense. But, I was a perfectionist and I thought that if I couldn't do something without failing or messing up, I wouldn't even try. I had a huge fear of failure. So, I kept searching for a perfectly planned out life path to follow where I could go through it without that fear of failing. My parent's also kinda gave up on me in my teen years because I was quite difficult due to some mental health stuff (mental health being even less understood back then). So, I never learned or developed life skills, which I searched for in that self-help content, but life skills are learned from living life and I was scared of living life if it meant I had to fail. I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of my own personal hell that took a decade for me to break out of.
@@hamahamamies Self development definitely isn't toxic, but the self-help gurus who tend to prey on people to sell them courses, books, etc and the hustle culture and toxic positivity that tends to come along with it, that's the toxic part that people who are susceptible to that type of influence need to be wary of. There are several self-help/personal development books and channels here on YT that are great resources, but it's good to not fall too deep down the rabbit hole.
@@OllieInTheAttic Good on u dude. I tried every self help trick in the book and it didnt mean shit until I sorted out my mental health. I found out at 25 I have severe ADHD and life has been 10x easier since I started treatment. Most self help gurus seem to avoid discussing mental health because it means they can keep the blame on you and make sure you stay in the loop.
“I started working out and scheduling my days”
“What a loser!!” - Asmongold 😂
Cuts to narrator - never lifted in his life, arms like sticks
@@VarietyGamerChannel so if you don't workout you're a failure?
Wow I'm really glad this video was made. I thought I was the only person who fell prey to this bullshit in the past. The absolute worst for me was when, in a really dark and depressed state, i had a "friend" sell me a self help program she guaranteed would be the thing to transform my life. Because I was so vulnerable at the time I agreed to going along with it. It's still fucking embarrassing to admit. And all I got out of it was a waste of a half of year of my life, the self hatred of realizing i had allowed myself to be manipulated and taken advantage of and loss of my previous reliable employment on top of now being thousands of dollars in debt.
tangential but.... Herbalife made millions upon "getting people to feel good, but always needing more" in the context of eating healthy via fitness shakes that, shocker, didn't actually work. They reward the best snake oil salespeople, and the other ones are on the hook. Check out "Betting on Zero"
nothing is wasted my friend
U gained experience, strength, and foresight. Nothing is wasted.
Self help shit is fine just take action and don't waste your money on the bullshit they try to sell you. Theres so much free content out there to consume that gives your the info you're looking for.
This video and these comments make no sense to me. I came from from nothing, became wildly successful in a highly competitive field; making $30k-$200k per month at 21. The Less Browns, the Grant Cardones lit a fire in me, and turned me into a *FKN MONSTER.* I wasn't attempting coup with stress, to attain friends, and establish self worth. I desired wealth and power! I owned million dollar vehicles, fkd $10k prostitutes. The existence of this series, and your relatability, is most likely because you people had an emotional disorder. Self improvement, wealth, power, success, is the furthest thing from what you people needed.It's an arduous, nightmarishly difficult struggles, requiring complete, and utter dedication to a particular craft. If you're not emotionally balanced, your life will spiral out of control. A book teaching you to accept yourself, a seminar reinforcing you self worth it's to blame. It's you're young, impressionable, depressed, mind. God I would love to make a video refuting the entirety of this uploads.
A dude I work with has a wife obsessed with mental health, self help, all this shit. He literally sometimes can't come in because she's having a "crisis" about the kids not putting their shoes on or some shit. He's super depressed because of it, meanwhile she spends hundreds of £ on self help nonsense which just makes her feel worse.
She just needs to read two more self help books then she will be all fine!
I understand how things like that look from an outside perspective. But it appears that you don't fully understand their situation and have never dealt with something similar to what she may be going through. You're right, a lot of this stuff is shit, but unfortunately its the stigma around mental health struggles like you posted here that makes people in a crisis feel even more stuck and hopeless. Its not your fault, our system just did its job by teaching people to help oppress for them.
😬
He's a good rule of thumb: If the self help guru's successful business ventures consist entirely of selling self help books or self help coaching then they're full of shit. Spoilers, its all of them
It's all of them eh? So you've read all of them? :))) I don't read that shit, cause I don't read shit that doesn't interest me. But I have the braincells not to talk shit about stuff I know nothing about.
@@kevinc8955 I just made the argument not all of those books are full of shit :) That's all. I know people who were fucking morrons before reading a self help book(any book at all actually) . I don't think the book's purpose itself helped them but the ideas in it opened up their clogged up sinkholes of a brain. Now I can talk to them about anything without them claiming they have the undisputed truth.
@@kevinc8955 Jordan Peterson disagrees
@@kevinc8955 well showing up and doing work DOES help you. if you have a good work ethic you will rise through the ranks faster. w/e you quit your unloading trucks job at walmart or goto a trade school if you lack the drive to put in the work/effort into anything you do how can you actually improve anything in your life?
@@kevinc8955 no, he doesn't speak to a niche of people. He speaks to all men. You should try actually checking it out instead of just reading Google.
Hard Work and EXTREME LUCK - so many celebrities and successful people leave out the luck. They convince themselves they did themselves through only hard work and it pisses me off.
10:30 "so alien to me"
Gets a mount, rides it for ten minutes, uninstall game, download new one, repeat.
when they started talking about 'action faking' I was waiting for him to realize "wait, that's literally what video games are" but the lightbulb never went on.
“Nothing matters so just do it” -Asmon. I guess same goes for “nothing matters so just don’t do it”. If you believe the former is more true than the latter then something has actual meaning which means some things matter. Responsibility will give you freedom from the paralyzing grip of meaninglessness.
@@CrackedConker I agree, and I'd just say it's insufficient instead. Without responsibility, you may act with no aim or purpose.
Hecato said in his writings, “What progress have I made? I am beginning to be my own friend.” That is progress indeed. Such a person will never be alone, and you may be sure he is a friend of all.
- Seneca
Seneca is one of my favorite greek philosophers.
@@todeskult2818 lmao thats all you got from it?
sad.
@@todeskult2818 ok
@@todeskult2818 I ain’t wasting no time with someone like you
@@todeskult2818 What about that sounds like insanity? It seems like you might be mis-interpreting the quote.
There's nothing wrong with self development. We need to look inward, to heal, to learn to treat ourselves and others better. For the culture I can't speak. Everything good gets twisted when it becomes popular
It's the difference between self development and self development industry. One is for you, the other is to make money off of you.
The issue I have with this video is he uses his personal experience to set up the industry issues. They have nothing to do with each other. There are many people who would argue they have improved themselves from taking a similar route.
"I spend 5 minutes everyday imagining my love ones being shot in the face, that's how I motivate myself throughout the day." Gary Vee. There is self help and there is brainwashed desperate people who follow self help like cults
@King DJ seek help, your hatred for others and yourself is frankly cringe, if you can't, please stay on twitter; have a good day.
@@kevinc8955 I don't care about Jordan Peterson, nor your opinion about him, I commented because the guy was pretty rude, spewing random assumptions but I guess that's CZcams comments.
For me it was all about taking action. I almost never was into this motivational content and self development though like many others I was trapped in thinking, reflecting, procrastinating etc. What I figured out was that the only thing making me achieve something was putting the effort in. Not planning, dreaming or writing down goals but taking small steps to get whatever I want, changing what I don’t like in myself bit by bit. As a result I ended up being rather skeptical about self care stuff like sessions with psychologist or especially watching/reading motivational content. I understand why some people need this, it’s just that my personal experience made me realize that taking action was always the key to success. What I also can relate to is struggle. I grew up thinking that it was a thing to avoid at all costs, however what it really came out to be is a very valuable experience. Each crisis I came through made me mentally stronger and more mature. What helped me through my toughest time was changing the surroundings and some bad disturbing habits were gone therefore making it easier to focus on what was really important.
this is so interesting because these self help nonsense products always rubbed me wrong and felt off but I could never really figure out why
Whenever someone sells a "product" and lays all the responsibility for that product to work onto you, your alarmbells should go off!
It doesn't matter if it is a good old gold rush or NFT's.
You don't wanna be the guy down in the mine or buying the next cool jpeg.
You wanna be the guy renting out his mine and selling the shovels and pick axes, selling the hopes and the dreams.
What? You didn't find any gold? Should have worked harder, you just searched in the wrong place, btw rent is due.
People like Tony Robbins literally tell depressed people that he can fix all their problems in 5 minutes if they pay 10k for his show. It blows my mind how people don't instantly see it for what it is. Instead he gets invited on tv shows to promote his scams. 🤦♂
Self help gurus and religious cults like scientology are built on hope, you throw away your money to expect to fix your life issues which most of the time it won't happen
Okay now show us when he literally says that
@@A_massive_wog I don't know man, try his website? It mentions quite often that your life will transform DURING the event, promising an instant cure all for every problem you have. Leave the event with infinite energy and a stronger body mate.
This seems to just be a video about sheer addiction. Recognising faults in yourself and striving to improve them by addressing sleep schedule, health and fitness, how you interact with people, and your overall motivation are all really good things
The most helpful thing I've consumed and done to improve my life is simply watch a guy study for 10 hours and study with him. Hopefully I can achieve my goal of becoming a desert goblin in a van fucking off from the world.
"All of these goals that you're setting for youself are all in the context of another person".-
Man that just hit me right in the face.
Could this be considered self-help for self-help addicts?
In psychology we call it "Internal Locus of Control", where you talk about blaming only yourself for the things that happen in your life.
It is the #1 thing we look for in business/military. It shows that you take ownership and responsibility, and those types of people will be successful and effective in life.
@@Quintessence4444 he means born into wealth and getting lucky. Even my success has a major factor in luck and chance. "Hard work" does not work on its own. That is a literal lie. I'm in HR and seen companies laid off people who dedicated DECADES of their lives working their butts off...... literally they were trash to the companies. You can not control your entire destiny. You are not a god. That is narcissism.
@@Quintessence4444 Everything, extreme ownership. You get fired? It's your fault ... your girlfriend leave you? It's your fault. You're fat and poor? It's your fault.
It sounds bad at first, but it isn't about hating yourself ... it's more a thought process of like "blaming external influences is literally pointless because I can't control them, so what can I DO about this situation to make it better or change it.
Have a great day!
My self help book said to write my goals down and clean my room. So I wrote down that I need to clean my room. Feeling good.
The self help stuff changed my life and got me where I am in my life. Read probably 25-30 books, lost 80 pounds, bought a house and fixed it up, got married, etc. But it's not maintainable.
It’s all about the individual and how you approach it. I think the important thing to take away is that you can help people without trying to make them live like you.
I'm glad it helped you, but I was the benefits manager and hris manager for a group of companies that did this scam... and it killed me. The millionaires I worked with were horribly mean people and had literal NO practical experience. Do not pay for their stuff.
Asmon, love your reaction videos. You react 'Harder' than other streamers and it doesn't feel forced or ungenuine.
Lmfao
Content theif
@I The problem was most of the react channel didn't even bother with the "react" part while Asmon sometimes goes on rant a little bit but at least he do it properly by giving the video a reaction without the forced "OMG!" part (The time Asmon say that if the video genuinely surprised him or he utterly baffled by the information in the video like in Internet Historian video "TheVarus™ Strikes Back") .
In my opinion, Asmon is the supposed "grey standard" for the react contents.
So you're telling me Asmon DOESNT just let the video play out while he leaves to heat up his chicken nuggies (he only had to do that because his mom wasn't there to do it for him)?
@@thynErro His mom already passed away dude, let it go.
There is a reason why almost all his reacts is double the time of the original video. He sometimes eats but still giving an actual reaction to the video, that's why I called him the _"grey"_ standard.
So self help is all relative. For me it was a means to unlearn years of drug abuse, horrible eating habits, and actually get up and keep myself in shape. Some people (like myself) actually need someone in their ear. It's all just a matter of who you let that person or persons be.
Agreed. Reading books to do with how to deal with people, how to manage your mind etc. helped me out of a hole too, but it wasn't the thing that actually made anything happen. You need to actually put the work in. Now that i've metaphorically "levelled up my life" over the past few years and gained more than I did in the 25 years previous, I can chill out and rest on my laurels a bit while riding the wave i've created.
guess it depend for everyone, i couldn't have someone in my ear, fuck em. but you do you
i agree. there are benefits but it's not the ONLY thing i guess. in the end we have to learn how to execute, but not all selfhelp is toxic and fake
It's really about the idea that "something is wrong with you", that people feel the need to "improve" and be "perfect". If you let go of the judgment and see that for what it is, you can realize everything just is what it is, independent of its projection - which - is, ultimately, ambiguous to words.
Thanks for the video, listening to what you had to say on the topic really helped me come closer to forming an opinion too!
Self-help is kinda a weird space now, but I will say the Dale Carnegie book (How to Win Friends and Influence People) is actually pretty valuable for people who have issues with social interactions. That said if you get "addicted" to self help you won't end up solving any problems. That is to all say: There are nuggets of very good information in all of this but you have to keep your own head on your shoulders and don't frame everything as "manipulating" other people.
When I was 18 in my first year of college, I went through a self help phase. One day I realized that something was off with the authors that I would read, they were all selling the same product. A pseudo sob story followed by advice and an offer to buy a product / course
This works with tons of different types of media. React videos, Talent show moment videos, Grief porn, Animal rescue porn (most of these are staged and AWFUL). It goes on and on. There is a media for every personality type to get addicted to. Self help videos don't give me any dopamine rush at all. React videos give me a HUGE one because I'm highly empathic, and lonely. Watching reactions makes me feel emotionally connected to other people when in reality I feel isolated from them. CZcams is so successful cause it has the widest variety of content to nail nearly every personality type's dompamine button and the content is constantly flowing. It's like having a drug dealer that can make most drugs you want appear in your room a few seconds after you text them and for free.
This was a really good video, hit home for me... I had a stretch reading these books, and what it did, was make me feel more depressed for not living up to what I thought was the right way to live.
I hate mornings, I usually fall asleep at 2am, I procrastinate over literally everything, and I'm not good with anything numbers related (I'm good at math, I just don't like it).
Instead of trying to fit in someone else's lifestyle, I created my own. I'm a lot happier, I'm very productive and overall I'm happy. I have bad days still, but when I finally figured out how to work around my weaknesses, my depression slowly disappeared, and eventually I was comfortable just being me.
So the issue isn't the self-help, it's the lack of self-control the individual has and how they get addicted to a feeling of success and learning without doing anything more than reading and watching stuff. Also to a degree, there is the danger that we live in a world where you have to help yourself to get better and there are con artists who are offering tools to help people get better which actually prey on those who don't do the due diligence to make sure their source of self-help is good and legitimate.
You can only get self-help from yourself, everyone is different. You just gotta discover what you want from life.
Yeah exactly. I read a couple books, but they weren’t on self-help, rather on sales, on Economics etc. and now started a company and just landed my first client. If you don’t take action then those books can’t help you but if you do take action a lot of books have good tips so 🤷🏼♂️
@@Kueperkai Well said! 😀
I was yelling at so many parts of this. So glad at the end he actually said “the power of now” is the book he recommended. That’s the one I was yelling the whole time. Broke my addiction to really toxic out of control negative thinking. That and CBT. More of an explanation of our psychology. Which if you didn’t know, will really change the way you think. I agree with the looking for a father thing but more along the line of looking for anyone to explain some shit but you don’t even know what you need explained. Lol
wherre can i read a summary of the book? or a video, thanks.
The Power of Now is total trash.
most of the times it's not the thing you are addicted what's keeping you from doing other stuff, the addicting part is just a way to cope with the real issue which is preventing you to move on, i'm "addicted" to youtube these days and it's not because i can't stop watching videos but because i'm going through a very tough part of my life and it's a way to literally get through the day for me, it can back fire if you don't know when enough is enough, but sometimes it feels as simple as easing the pain a little in order to get through it and not die in the attempt
5:11 so true man i spent half of my "childhood" just to do that, to beg my parents to love me to prove to them that I am more than just a mistake and when its didn't work out I stop and start to think that doing so isn't going to help me and why do I beg for my parents to love me when they don't needed me in the very beginning because I was just an accident to them and I realize I just have to learn how to love myself I don't need anybody else.
34:27 Asmon hit on something major - when you want to enter a field, don’t waste time being abstract or consulting self-help ideas that are elusive and floating up in the air.
Look at real-life case studies, real people today. It is not just extremely powerful, very realistic, more inspiring… But it’s easier: mimicry of somebody who’s doing something you want is easier but very effective. It is an underrated skill.
when you copy somebody’s behavior as you’re starting out, you’re actually copying thousands of small ‘ideas’ / habits that go under the radar.
Then, When you advance past mimicry, you’ve subconsciously absorbed hundreds more sub-verbal insights than somebody else who sat with a book ranting about verbal insights, or someone who just sat on a porch contemplating some profession abstractly.
My buddy had a passion for sales from about 20 yrs old to 32 yrs old and he was lucky the market collapsed and he was able to buy a house in an up and coming market and now he's "rerolling" to a lower pay, lower stress, more family time in a support role in his career. He found happiness not in making as much money as possible but to enjoy what you do and do it with purpose. However if he didn't set himself up first he would still be on the sales grind.
Self help imho are like the get rich quick bs.
The people that are actually rich aren't gonna write books and teach you how to play their own game. Their teaching you a diffrent game giving bad advise and everytime you come for help they want your hard earned money. Only to get more generic unhelpful advice and keep coming back.
The outlook on life is actually brilliantly positive!
The way young men are taen by the hand and led into situations like this. Happens to all of us in our everyday lives..... Its easy to see how these guys are dragged into things like this but in essence. Your whole life is a collection of things your just holding onto to make you feel validated.
People will always take advantage of you, you are never number 1 in someone elses mind.
If someone isnt going to get into your grave with you at the end of it all they are not worth your time.
All you need are your friends and family and to be good to each other.
not necessarily! the problem with the video guy is that he is his own worst problem. some people love to be told they are good people, or that they are doing a good job even when they are not that great or they are super mediocre. no one challenges their worldview or their present circumstance to force them to change or make the necessary changes to get the results they want.
what is the point of buying all the self-help books or going to seminars if you never apply anything you actually learn into practice? the true issue is people want to go to these MASSIVE seminars or stuff that celebs are into thinking that they will either get that 1-to-1 mentorship or someone behind them that will push them to make the changes they need to make to succeed.
if you have an actual mentor in real life who is coaching you, pointing out your flaws, and helping you improve how can you fail? but if you have some talking head on your phone or tv telling you to do some generic shit and you turn it off when you're bored and never put any of it to practice how can you actually improve?
I won't say the self-help stuff is all bunk but people are naturally lazy and are always looking for shortcuts, if they weren't they wouldn't be here looking for a guru to help them get rich quick or get into shape overnight or get better with women etc.
@@soraactualize5464 I imagine you think therapists have your best interests in mind lol… computer screen or real life your still nothing to no one.
@@46pippi
Bla di bla bla. You're just noise. What you wrote is not worth anything.
I think the thing asmon talked about at the end of the vid "Theres always more" is why I enjoy being a software developer. Theres always something new to learn, something to get better at, even though theres a lot of initial frustration with learning new shit it feels so rewarding to finally get something working.
@@AliothAncalagon Not all professions do that though. Especially the most office jobs... Well, that is technically not true, you can get better at it. But it is not rewarding in the same way if you know what I mean.
@@AliothAncalagon I think its more about how much this seeking for improvement is being rewarded. I cant speak mich about other jobs, but as a software dev, you are even expected to learn a lot, since technology you work with changes a lot almost every day. And the difference between the same person who tries to get better and the one who just tries to not get fired is crazy.
@@AliothAncalagon I was talking about jobs in general. Not just "crafts"
@I lol. chill. its not that serious. I know, we were talking about different things, I was explaining that.
I love how real and honest and true to yourself you are in your videos! 🤩
One has to put forth the correct actions when improving ones self
You sir are an absolute inspiration to me.
I am with Asmongold, the concept of requiring a book to live by is alien to me. Everybody I know who got into self help motivation all became insufferable, not unlike religeon. Personally the road to happiness seems like common sense, we all know what and how we can improve our welbeign, the issue is motivation which only we can do
It's not necessarily just about happiness but more about falling a rabbit hole like with reading wikipedia. There are gateways to this material based on any problem you may be facing. For example, you are struggling in school and look up study tips and BAM a bunch of videos, blogs, podcasts and books about time management tips, studying methodologies, organizational software, college applications, test taking, stress management, mindfulness, self-empowerment, stoic philosophy, brain anatomy...wait hold on wtf I just wanted some study tips. And its not like any of this material is wrong or useless in itself, but its the obsession and falling off the deep end.
You can imagine similar gateways where someone thinking about losing a few pounds falls off the deep end of fad diets and supplementation. Or someone thinking about hitting the gym getting hooked on reading about most efficient pre-workout regiment. Or someone wanting to make it as a youtuber getting obsessed with seo and marketing theory.
i absolutely agree, anyone who started talking about gurus and self help i quickly drifted away from because they became terrible to talk to lol
you seem to be narrowminded
@@Julian_14 If you say so
True. And based. Thats why I hate that people take morals from the bible and other books and not the reality they live in.
I read those books and they helped me in the context of acheiving certain outcomes in a job or dealing with strangers. The lessons in the book can be mis construed to be maniplulating people. But in the right mentality and where ever you are in life, the lessons were very helpful
Close teacher bought me a self help book for grad and the beginning sentence was
"I dreamt of a dog telling me, your life is going to be ruff ruff ruff"
I closed that s*it and started reading overlord instead.
I swear a lot people can't believe that some of us are 100% content just existed as is. I feel so much more freedom and contentment by opting out of chasing all the fluff of this world. I have no motivation cause I see most of it down right pointless.
@sisuphos how so?
@@00x000 I'm not to that extreme of laying down but I'm not about to hustle just to get rich and impress people who I don't know and don't care about me. Chasing money as a life goal to me is dumb.
@@KarmicSlayer The enlightened Dharma practitioner.
@@KarmicSlayer I agree, despite that my mind doesn't feel at ease, it's not peaceful.
I don't put money/objects/grinding on a piedestal but I still struggle to feel content.
@@zoorrken It's a good idea to take a break from social media and get alone for awhile and just do the things you want to do without any influencers. You'll find out things about yourself when you cut out all the background noises.
I'm more like Zack, in that I'm easily satisfied. I'm happy with or without, and my outlook is not dependent on what others think. BUT my ex-girl friend left me for the guy who literally worships self help Gurus. Today I often wonder how things turned out for her. For me, not much has changed. I'm still happy with minimal effort, and content and satisfied. I might not be JQ Motivated BOB, but I still have fun, and I'm still stoked on the smallest stuff.
This reminds me of my ex girlfriend while she was struggling through uni. She procrastinated a lot and got really neurotic and stressed about it, and whenever I came to stay with her for a few days, she'd have all these motivational messages and encouraging quotes and pictures and stuff on her wall, and sadly, I don't think it helped one bit.
best video i watched keep covering these good video to wake up people and sharing awareness and exposing the Truth ❤️
This video was so dramatized, it felt like an actor's "the sky is falling" type drama of the month. I watched it awhile ago and it still sounds as obnoxious now as it did then. And the irony of his video is it's trying to convince you of something the same as all that self help crap is.
The moral of the story is a fool and their money are soon parted. This guy being a fool doesn't reinvent any part of that narrative.
.... almost all videos try to convince of something bro. It would be ironic if he was trying to sell self-help courses.
As I was watching this I thought to myself "I bet the presentation in this video would make someone with a simpler mind than mine think he's doing the same thing as these gurus." And there it is
Preach!
@@domerame5913 These are predatory. Please do not spread this. I worked for a "Family of Companies" as the benefits supervisor and Hris manager and SEVERAL of their companies were scam self help people. DO NOT buy their books. You don't need to pay for ANYTHING to help yourself. These people pay their workers on 99 contracts or at minimum wage and bring in millions just for using predatory speech that sucks you in. They have no actual skills other than suckering you into a false sense of security, like a preacher or a cult.
nah man, the point of the video was to, just DO it, not think about or dream about or read about on how to do it etc.
To be honest I don't think many people engage with self help like this guy did, it seems kinda weird and extreme. I wouldn't know for sure though.
They do, it's even worse than you think, each succesfull "guru" Represents the masses behind them being tricked into this sort of shit. Tiktok and youtube shorts also have tons of these "life coaches" Literally spewing lies to their gullible audience.
Bro the dude in this video has never worked out in his life xD He looks even worse than asmon. He didn’t even try anything from self improvement . He just wanted to make silly video.
16:45 The guy mentioning gender norms isnt disagreeing with Asmon pointing out guys are doing violence.
He's stating that one of the reasons guys especially feel so vulnerable at that age is because of these norms.
"You have to provide" "You have to become a man" "You need to know what you want in life"
All these things are far more heaped upon guys, resulting in psychological pressure to perform (no innuendo)
This video has a lot of truth to it.
As far as few people actually worth listening to regarding self help, Jordan Harbinger Show and HealthyGamerGG are great shouts for practical advice you can implement.
Actually bettering yourself means you’re no longer in their target audience. Why would they want that?
MODERATION IN ALL THINGS. This guy sees the world as black and white. He went from putting self help on the highest pedestal to now demonizing it as the worst thing you could invest your time and money into. He clearly doesn't understand the value of knowing yourself, loving yourself, and finding truth for yourself which can only be defined by your own personal journey and experiences. Very typical of young men to behave like this, myself being one of them. I hope he learns one day that there is no RIGHT or WRONG, there is only what WORKS for YOU. That's what self love is.
that's exactly what asmon said, whats the point of loving your self soo much when you can just work hard on what you love, get a ton of money and be happy XD.
How to Win Friends is more about salesmanship and how to get that sales relationship going. In that context, it's a really good guide.
Not just that, it's a good way to make allies and learn to manipulate others for things you want.
Women express their dissatisfaction in other toxic ways. It's more geared toward how they look vs who they are.
This video is a self-help video in disguise. It's even filmed in the style of self-help. It's debunking the industry while mimicking it. His channel is filled with those types of videos.
Man the comment about you being there at the right time… Dude doesn’t realise that big streamers and content created pop up basically daily at this point. The huge ones have just had more time to stay. Not all big CCs will go huge, but in the real grand scheme of it all, bigs more than good enough for plenty of us
this guy seems like hes blaming authors for spending all his time reading. i've never read a self-help book that told me to do that.
What I hate about this video is how it's mixing good books with fake gurus and put them on the same scale. "How to win friends and influence people" is an Excellent book and not just random "self help" book. It shows and explains to you how things work, it's a guideline to notice more about your actions with others and how it is impactful.
Then the next sentence he put those fake gurus and their BS as an evidence that all these books and materials are the same. Which is not true.
You're part of the problem.
"How to win friends" is imo not a self help book nor a psycho scheme book. It's actually very basic with lessons being "listen what people say and genuinely care".
The only self help I need is two cold ones on a Friday night and I’m good. Ain’t got time to be depressed and shit.
Theres no shortcuts. And sleeping to much can kill u too. Wise man once told me work smarter not harder. Ill never forget those words.
Asmon - I discovered your channel during the Johnny Depp defamation hearings / I love your energy, authenticity & down to earth attitude.
> This video in particular is a splash of cold water to the face 🌊 - 😳….. It’s true. There are a lot of unhappy people out there ( myself included ) who feel lost from time to time & then experience shame on top of that - Like “how did I go so wrong ? “- btw - the music industry also feeds off of human pain & suffering.. € And then this magic book pops up & I feel like - ok, maybe there is a way out of here..
> The thing is, life is full of challenges, pain & loss , untold suffering, etc. etc.
> And the truth is - self help is a multi billion dollar industry-
But one could also say the same about these born again Christian groups who feed off of scared & lonely people, who force these “ lost sheep “ to be “believers”, & then “ supporters “ & then lifetime members - etc.
> I think AsMon has it right- these “ help groups “ prey on people who feel orphaned. - It would be good to see a teaching where the person is encouraged to be self sufficient & self reliant.
That would be a sure sign of SELF development. 🐥🤔🥰
How to win friends is the best book I ever read. Got me promotions and relationships.
Best take away. Act like a dog when you see someone. How does a dog react? They are happy to just see you. They don't want anything other than your companionship.
Dale Carnegies book isn't about self help. It's just about learning to manipulate others and get things you want from others. And that's not bad it's a skill you need in today's world.
@@teamspeak9374 indeed. Pair what they want with what you want.
@@FDRTKOva the problem I have with the word manipulate is that it implies deception. One of the main things he talks about is how it only works if you are sincere. Insincere flattery and manipulation will only end up hurting you. If you aren't sincere and attempt the things he recommends, more often than not you will fail and it will be counter productive.
I've been watching Jani's videos for a while, they are excellent!
Go inside and see self. Listen to self and witness self . Was hard was painful and am still healing but at least am dealing what I denied
Holy shit this hit the nail on the head for me. Especially the part about not “indulging” in yourself and instead trying to “make yourself a better person.” I basically just focused on school instead of making friends in college and I regret it. I’ve never bought into or believed in self help because if it actually worked those books wouldn’t need to be written.
Confirmation biased. You wanted to see that "self help" as something useless and you took this video as affirmation to your believes.
i basically focused on friends & entertainment rather than school and i regret it
@@BleachRush Sorry lemme rephrase it more specifically. I don’t see the idea of self help as something completely useless. The reason for that was stated in the video a few times. Some of what the self help gurus preach is true and good for people in general. What I see as useless is the act of spending your money on a self help guru’s books/seminars/podcasts/etc. Hence the use of the words “bought into.” I figured if someone saw my comment they’d be able to understand what I was saying, but I guess you couldn’t. And yes I’m biased. So what? I see self help books as a waste of time and money because you could actually be doing shit instead of just reading about ‘how’ to do shit (action-faking).
@@domerame5913 The way I see it is this: If the concept and practice of self help actually worked in the way those gurus describe it, then there would be no need for those gurus to write more books that essentially spew the same (or differently worded) motivational bullshit. If their books did actually provide something of long-standing substance (that wouldn’t result in only a temporary motivation and good attitude) then the people who read their first book wouldn’t need to buy more self help books. The reason why gurus write more books is because there’s money to but made and they know that people will literally buy into anything if it re-affirms their beliefs or makes them feel better about themselves. That’s how I see it at least.
@@casu6480 feelsbadman
If you need to be explicitly told that utopia does not exist then you have bigger problems than any self help book can solve.
Also, this sounds like he was just addicted. That's definitely not one of the tips.
You know who motivates men and doesn't sugar coat the world? JORDAN PETERSON.
Jordan peterson is good and seems genuine but from what I can tell a lot of his advice is common sense might be useful for some. Same trap is applicable to him even if it may not be intentional.
Jordan Peterson's books can fall to this self-help trap just the same as any other book. Like Asmond said, it's a missing father figure is partly why many young men fall into this toxicity (which includes JBP by the way). I spent hours upon hours on this content, looking for something that'll help me. Some of which did help but he says the same thing over and over. I keep expecting more on top of what he has already said. If what JBP has already said all that there is, then maybe life itself isn't for me. The reason why I continue living is there is some lingering sense of hope that there is something for me. Although, as time passes, I am unsure I'll find it in time or at all.
@@eatright909 " Like Asmond said, it's a missing father figure is partly why many young men fall into this toxicity (which includes JBP by the way"
Please explain in what JBP is included?
He's attempting to reverse the damage done to western society by intentional narcissism and nihilism in the name of cowardice.
I find it incredibly difficult to categorize his work as "self help" just because it helps people.
He berates his audience for being dishonest with themselves and others.
The rest of his lecture tends to be, not just statements of fact, but his discoveries while attempting to pursue "Truth". Not "The Truth" that fixes everything. He's interested in what truth is and is kind enough to let us know that most of what he's praised for is not "Bravery" per se', but making the decision that causes the least amount of suffering and then advising we do the same and decide for ourselves if we experience less hell and then roll with it.
Anyone who is likely to publish a statistical peer-reviewed study on the affects of intentional behavioral modification on young boys, is willing to die before speaking under exterior compulsion and is sickened by the pursuit of "pleasure", CANNOT be considered a candidate for self help unless one identifies as the entire kulak population of the western hemisphere.
Liked your talk on ego death. Very true. Nice
I love wahat Asmon said about accepting who you are and not trying to be what you think other people want you to be.
31:00 it's ok to work hard, but you gotta work smart before you work hard, seen lotsa people burn out because they use every ounce of energy to do a job only for me to turn up, figure an easier way to do the job without compromising on the essence of the job and end up twice as productive as a result without tiring myself.
33:20 that's an ideology called positive nihilism, aka why should I torment myself over this, we are all gonna die in the end anyway. The problem with that ideology is that it's still nihilism and you have a likelihood of progressing further into nihilism, at the same time it's important to care about things in order for life to be worth living, so the proper response isn't "we are all going to die anyway so why should I care" but rather "This isn't important enough for it to be a problem"
just take one look at greek. this is his addiction but he doesn't do anything besides workout, stream and complain about everyone else.
Man, that part from 5:35 to 6:10 helped me understand why I couldn't make friends in college. Like Asmon says, the other people were there to learn, while I was a 19 yo with the mental maturity of a 13 yo and was preoccupied with what class to speedlevel up next in WoW in order to take advantage of imbalances.
I cannot related. Self help book changed my life. I read a few books and decided to set out a 2 year plan on how I wanted to get my life on track. I set out a weekly cycle where I would complete tasks to improve my earning potential, physical and mental health. I didn't miss a single week in that 2 years.
Now my incomes tripled and it literally changed my life.
I ve read 2 self help books in my 22 years of life. 1 was the " subtle art of not giving a f*ck* " ( Mark something, I dont remember the author ) and the other " The easy way to quit smoking " by Allan Carr. I don't remember anything from the former, but from the later? - I ve been a non smoker since I ve read it 2 years ago and I was a pretty heavy smoker ( ~ 2 packs / day ). I guess my point is, just like any type of book, there are good ones and bad ones ( and it s whether you actually choose to take something from it or not ) .
I read the subtle art of not giving a f*ck good book
Thanks for making this video. The only difference between people like Tate and telephone scammers is that the latter take advantage of vulnerable old women while the former takes advantage of vulnerable young men. Most people sympathise with the women while criticising the men.
@Eventyde Fallacy no. All humans are born with value. Men are just as valuable in the dating market as women cause guess what. Women need men to date too. Tate is not a serious human being and taking him seriously is frankly a way to lose everyone's respect
@Eventyde Fallacy Froggyy couldn't have answered for me better. Tate's whole con works around people thinking the grass is greener on the other side. People's sympathy towards telephone victims is more due to age than gender.
@Eventyde Fallacy Are you telling me if I had a photo of a six foot, ripped man in a Lamborghini you would be inclined to see me that way?
@Eventyde Fallacy if you believe this about yourself it will feel true and real. But guys also want to bang tons of girls with no commitment and no vulnerability or consequences. And they’re upset that’s not happening for them. But girls aren’t trying to do the same thing. They’re more genuine in their dating and will reject you just trying to bang them which makes a lot of sense doesn’t it.
@Eventyde Fallacy I can see why you hold so much faith in internet photos. Display is quite an important part of your life isn't it?
Dude - enjoying the commentary - well done
38:08 "the power of now" from eckart tolle is actually a good book for just having fun by existing with tons of benefits like lucid dreams and emotional control
This guy knows how to react to James Jani
To the "no rich person sleeps 8 hours a day" let me tell you that when you have no money to pay rent or food, you dont sleep 8 hours a day either, this is NOT a fair world were people who sleep less are rewarded or that in general going through struggle = reward. YOU have to find what works for you, what Elon Musk came from a model married a Pilot family he is not YOUR role model, take a deep look inside and recognize yourself and that you dont have the same support others have find what makes you happy and what kind of success fulfils you, fuck the world if it don't fit its standards, if living in a small home with a loving family with a job what lets you have hobbies and enjoy your time outside the job is heaven for you, then pity those fools who need more. find what you want and pursue it your own way.
This video looks like the origin story of a Marvel Villain.
Guy didn't see results, so now he's turning into "Anti Self-Help Man" that's gonna destroy the Self-Help industry, and the whole planet (just because he can)
"The Avengers: Curse of Self-Help" out in theaters on April 23rd, 2023
The burnout thought you said here is tricky because not only it depends on the person, but it absolutely is something one has to experience by themselves, cuz when I was younger I thought "I dont wanna make the thing I love the most my work cuz if I end up hating it because of burnout I will get really depressed" and nowadays I work out of it not because I ignored that belief, but because I was miserable by living under that belief, I got jobs I hated, studied things I hated, and upon experiencing that much (struggle btw) I learnt that what I love is actually enjoyable enough and allows me to sleep properly and go out and have a healthier life, the only thing to take into account is that I have to be conscious of when my body really needs some rest. But as I said, it depends on the person, it wont work the same way for everybody but I encourage ppl to experience both sides of the coin if they can, that's the best way to find out.
Asmon is an interesting person to talk about this because he’s sort of the opposite. Complete rejection of the idea of improvement. Complete rejection of any ideas that would make him feel like he could be happier if he bettered himself or ideas that suggest he could be wrong. He’s the other extreme.
Glad I'm not the only one thinking this. Excess Nihilism is just as bad.
These people are all like cults .. way too convinced of their bs and they can just talk circles to you and you’re trying to either get away or get to the point - so you can address their premise but they never actually get to it and then they just ask you when you have time to come to their thing and they make it sound like you can’t say no bc they are so happy to have a friend ..
I tell them that all the stuff they are saying I can get is everything I already get from Jesus Christ
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that a person deserves everything that happens to him/her and that everything that happens to a person is the result of his/her doing or how they lived their lives. I'm going through some hard times right now such that somehow I was the only one in my family who adopted the nihilistic philosophy and I'm now learning to accept it through CBT, but in all honesty I never wished to become this way ever. It was just that I believed deeply that "great efforts and hardships will always be rewarded in the end" and the only reward that I've got for all that I've done was betrayal and ostracism, or perhaps that I haven't got to "the end" yet and I'm still somewhere in between meandering.
That book is a good read. For me it taught me how to easily spot when people were trying to manipulate me, helped me spot narsacist and people with severe mental illness that would only cause harm if i let them into my life.
Imagine going to college and having enough time for all this existential bs. When I was in college it was class, work, study, sleep and repeat. My friends where the other 5 smartest kids in my program and we only met up to study, it was a truly perfect relationship.
15 year old kid that made the video has watched all the self help gurus, planned his day, started going to the gym and so on.
Now its his time to tell the world about the trappings of this toxic cult of influencers. What a time to be alive.
You should be careful who your rolemodels are.
He is 22, not fkn 15 ya dingus.
For me burn out happens when the work loud becomes to excessive and past the scope of my job. I've had that happen to jobs i enjoyed and just the sheer amount of work left me exhausted and resentful because it wasn't what I signed up for but I was the only one they could rely on. Its so much easier to have a job you don't really care about because then you won't push your self or put up with it. Don't like your job and don't be friends with your managment.
That cycle referenced in this video sounds very similar to tutorial hell for new programmers, no actual progress but you feel good and think you are making progress.
It's literally a tutorial hell for being happy