the sopranos - a dose of reality from dr. krakower
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- čas přidán 30. 03. 2010
- Dr. Krakower gives his unfiltered (and unapologetic) opinion to Carmella - and the audience - reminding her of what type of person Tony essentially is: a depressed criminal prone to anger.
- Zábava
This guy provided more help to Carmela in one session than Melfi did to Tony the entire series.
Melfi was entertaining herself with Tony. Whether she knew it or not. Once she realized tho that she was making tony a better criminal with her “therapy” they parted ways.
You can't treat sociopathy lmao, idk why you're surprised
Melfi didn’t entirely quit Tony until she caught herself just before she ordered a hit. That’s when she realized how HE was affecting HER.
Good point@@evanlee6644 . Like Tony would last one session with this guy. He'd have a temper tantrum after 2 minutes and never come back.
To be fair, its probably FAR easier to help Carmela than Tony.
I love the brutal, unapologetic honesty of a wise old man.
@@tommysoprano1441 is that a line from the show? Or your own life? If it’s your life, then decide if you love the person you are cheating on, and try your best to think what you would feel if she or he was doing the cheating, think if she or whoever loves you, how would feel if you hurt her, destroyed her trust, and remember she is gonna lose faith in you, & she will not see or look at you as them man she loved she or thought loved her. I was told “he took the light out of your eyes, what a sad day that was, when my best friend who knows me said that, sad for me! Can you live with that disappointment when she looks at you, even if she forgives you and takes you back? Can you leave with the light that was in her eyes being gone, when she tells you she loves you or shows you love, and you aren’t the man she loves anymore, if you can then it’s time to maybe leave and let her find someone who won’t cheat and can love her the way she loves you.
Because once she finds out even if she forgives you, things won’t be the same, she won’t be happy, so either quit doing it or get counseling and leave your lover, or move on with your lover. It all comes down to how would you feel if she knew, how would she look at you, & how would you feel if she was doing what you did. She deserves better if she is a decent person, not perfect but decent.
Me I can’t hurt anyone like that, even though I can tell you that for the most part my fiancé has been pretty good. I have told him that I long ago i repeatedly warned him I was not his trophy to be paraded around or his damsel in distress because I am sick, (don’t ask for kudos for doing the things people do everyday for loved ones) and that if he lied to me about being able to handle my issues, when I had warned him then I refuse to feel guilty because he lied.
And that the light in my eyes and joy in me and love is quickly being drained, and if he does not get himself together and tell me the truth, I have no choice. If he’s honest then tells me he lied, and gets help I can work with him, but it better be soon. And cheating was never negotiable, so I am talking about the mental part of the lie that has exhausted me. He’s worn me out even though he does many many sweet things, I don’t care about what he bought, he knows what I am saying but HE wants me to lie to him and I won’t. I deserve the best, I have had the worst because people lied, and deceived then begged for forgiveness, robbing me of precious time, and joy! He was warned, so when I walk away I won’t apologize even though he has done some nice things, I told him what I needed. I never lied. He can never said I did not tell him.
Psychologists and psychiatrists are specifically supposed to avoid moral judgments on their patients. Like Melfi, it's supposed to be all about making them happier and more day-to-day functional. Unfortunately, as Melfi learns only too late, that makes you an enabler of their behavior - you're simply making them a better criminal.
This scene was well-deserved and much needed, but IRL the shrink would never have expressed his opinions so openly. If he didn't want to see Carmela, he'd simply wait until the last minute of the appointment then say "I'm sorry, but I'm unable to accept you as a client" and refuse to take her calls anymore.
Absolutely. Also, few priests who do marriage counseling would advise a woman to change a psychopath. The Church is strong on marriage but it's not stupid on this issue at all, at least not now.
yeah, wise for not wanting a billing record with her
I want him to be my therapist
Krakower: "i'm not charging you because i won't take blood money"
Melfi: "..."
he is simply imposing his own morality now I know we all know Tony Soprano is far from a good person
But people like this doctor want a world without crime and that may sound good to a lot of people on paper but with the world without crime we wouldn't have any drugs anything illegal that people enjoy such as driving cars spirited etc
More so Tukwila, Goldman's 1913s a anarchism what it really stands for people that hold the Lauper to a gold standard and truly believe that no law should ever be broken I want the world and the people that inhabit it to be the equivalent of a flock of sheep walking down a straight path with two high walls on other side Harley obedient if you really think about it that is how we are in this world
Referring to the American government, the greatest American Anarchist, David Thoreau, said:
"Government, what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to
posterity, but each instance losing its integrity; it has not the vitality and force of a single living man. Law
never made man a whit more just; and by means of their respect for it, even the well disposed are daily
made agents of injustice."
Indeed, the keynote of government is injustice. With the arrogance and self-sufficiency of the King who
could do no wrong, governments ordain, judge, condemn, and punish the most insignificant offenses,
while maintaining themselves by the greatest of all offenses, the annihilation of individual liberty. Thus
Ouida is right when she maintains that "the State only aims at instilling those qualities in its public by
which its demands are obeyed, and its exchequer is filled. Its highest attainment is the reduction of
mankind to clockwork. In its atmosphere all those finer and more delicate liberties, which require
treatment and spacious expansion, inevitably dry up and perish. The State requires a taxpaying machine in
which there is no hitch, an exchequer in which there is never a deficit, and a public, monotonous, obedient,
colorless, spiritless, moving humbly like a flock of sheep along a straight high road between two walls."
Yet even a flock of sheep would resist the chicanery of the State, if it were not for the corruptive,
tyrannical, and oppressive methods it employs to serve its purposes. Therefore Bakunin repudiates the
State as synonymous with the surrender of the liberty of the individual or small minorities,--the
destruction of social relationship, the curtailment, or complete denial even, of life itself, for its own
aggrandizement. The State is the altar of political freedom and, like the religious altar, it is maintained for
the purpose of human sacrifice.
In fact, there is hardly a modern thinker who does not agree that government, organized authority, or the
State, is necessary only to maintain or protect property and monopoly. It has proven efficient in that
function only.
Even George Bernard Shaw, who hopes for the miraculous from the State under Fabianism, nevertheless
admits that "it is at present a huge machine for robbing and slave-driving of the poor by brute force." This
being the case, it is hard to see why the clever prefacer wishes to uphold the State after poverty shall have
ceased to exist.
Unfortunately, there are still a number of people who continue in the fatal belief that government rests on
natural laws, that it maintains social order and harmony, that it diminishes crime, and that it prevents the
lazy man from fleecing his fellows. I shall therefore examine these contentions.
Search Emma Goldman.anarchism what is really stands for on google.for the rest
@@lurk7967 Normally I don't read tl;dr comments. But this was ok :)
Silly old man. All money is blood money
@@lurk7967 I apologize if this sounds ignorant to you, but I understand your criticisms of government and agree with most of them. The problem is whenever I have a conversation with some with anarchist political beliefs we end up agreeing on the flaws of certain economic models and government institutions, but I've never heard of an anarcho alternative that sounded realistic and reasonable to me.
@@lurk7967 This is way too insightful an analysis to be stuck in a CZcams video. Thanks.
Just when we were rooting for the crew, along comes Dr. Krakower to remind both Carmella...and the audience...of who exactly these people really are.
Amen!
The show always did that. Every time you started to empathize with them the writers would remind you that they're horrible people.
Amen, everyone talking about Carmella's reality check, it was as much to give us one
This was the episode after Tracee. I'm not sure the rafters were filled with the crew's fans at this point.
@Leif H lol what's that supposed to mean
"How's that going?"
Killed all further arguments.
They should have kept him on the show!
@@beastdclxvi5959 I think he has the perfect amount of time on screen.
@@beastdclxvi5959 he died shortly after.
It was actually an excellent line. Here, he gives credit and opportunity to the priest and Carmella's religion and without being condescending or judgmental, he makes Carmella see that she did in fact try her priests suggestion but it did not work. So now she MUST try something different.
@@retroguy9494 Yea this scene is amazing. We need clearer honest thinkers like that. Dude reminded me of Thomas Sowell
"Probably the least of his misdeeds."
I love how he's calling out Carmela for her self-centeredness. She's whining about Tony cheating on her, yet he's done so much worse that she never says anything about. To other people.
@@akshaynatu1084 one character that comes to mind who didn't deserve Tony's power trip was the cop who pulled him over. Tony promptly got him fired, found out the guy suffers from depression like himself, considered getting him his job back, but decides against it out of his own pride. He even goes to taunt the poor guy at his new job and tries to make him take his money so tony can free himself of his guilt for getting him fired.
@@akshaynatu1084 But Tony didn’t kill or hurt any of them for the sake of justice. Not even Ralph. I remember after they killed Ralph and dispose of the body, Christopher and Tony were at the Bing and when Tony woke up, he looks at the picture of Tracy. And I thought that was an amazing scene. Tony looks at Tracy showing that he is excusing himself by saying to himself what he did was a good thing because Ralph is a horrible man who murdered a 20-year-old single mother. That makes him feel like he has morals. But in reality, he just killed a made guy over a horse. Not only that, Ralph killed the horse only for money when his child had just become a vegetable. If Tony had killed Ralph after he killed Tracy, then he can say to himself “hey you know what, I did a good thing.” Only that isn’t the case, he killed Ralph because of a horse and his own mental issues. Which is inexcusable both in mafia morals and regular people's morals.
@@whatamidoingeatingsushi2677
“She’s a beautiful innocent creature! What’d she ever do to you?” I’d like to think he had Tracy in mind, but I know he didn’t. He really did kill him over a horse.
@@akshaynatu1084 the crooked politician did no less deserve it
best comment
Carmella was never leaving that life of relative luxury for lesser financial circumstances.
purple sword I think the psychiatrist knew that secretly.
MultiEvil85 we all did
Notice right before he said "Probably the least of his misdeeds," she said "So what? So what? He betrays me every week with these whores!" *THAT'S* the only aspect of Tony's lifestyle that she has a problem with. Not the human suffering he causes.
As soon as she said the word "apartment" it was over. Just like Chrissy seeing that family at the gas station, it broke them.
Relative? Dining out in fancy restaurants on a near daily basis is the definition of luxury
Her reaction to merely hearing the word "mafia," said bluntly, with no varnish, instead of the usual "this thing" or "this business" is so fucking great. Just that one word was enough to obliterate the walls of denial and justification she built up around her for so many years, just for that one instance. And it scared the living hell out of her. Brilliant writing elevated to even greater heights by flat-out superb acting.
She was shock for something that was all over the news, books, and tv.
Yeah, but they're just "Jersey Mob"
Wrong. No one says “the Mafia” because it’s not really called “the mafia” in America. It’s called La Cosa Nostra, which literally means “This thing of ours”. That’s not trying to be all comfy and “in denial” about it, that’s what it’s literally called. The feds and the police are the ones who call it “the mafia”.
The only “mafia” is in Sicily. That’s who actually invented the word Mafia. The Mafia is Sicilian thing. There are other “mafia” like organizations throughout Italy. In Naples it’s The Camorra, in Calabria it’s called “Ndrangheta”, in Venice it’s called the “Mala Del Brenta”, Apulia has the “Safra Corona Unita”. There’s a different organized crime group al throughout Italy, but only in Sicily is it “the Mafia”.
At first, back in the early days, 1800’s to the first half of the 1900’s, The American Cosa Nostra was more of an extension to the Sicilian Mafia. It was started by Sicilians and only Sicilians were allowed to join, and both of your parents had to be traced directly back to Sicily. The only early guy they let join the commission was Al Capone, and Capone didn’t even want to be apart of it at first because he wasn’t Sicilian, he was Neapolitan.
After time went by, after around the mid 1950’s, they started allowing non-Sicilians join. That’s when America became its own thing and operated separately, and completely different from the Sicilian Mafia. Nowadays you don’t even have to be full Italian to become a made man. You have to be at least half Italian and it has to run through your fathers side. Meaning If you’re Italian, but through your mother’s side, you can’t join (Idk don’t ask, maybe it’s because the last name? Idk).
So yes, it’s not called “the Mafia” in America, at least not by wise guys, because it’s not exactly Mafia. To everyone else, “Mafia” just means any organized crime group. To Italians in the street “Mafia” strictly means the group in Sicily.
How do I know this? My father and uncle are made men. My uncle is on his 12th year on a RICO down in Coleman max federal prison down in Florida. My father was allowed to retire after he did 10 years.
Now, believe it or not, my father is a changed and good man. He helps me manage my dog walking, dog training, pet sitting and boarding business up here in New England (not going to say exactly where). My parents live 1 block away from my own family and I’s house. Honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better way to live. My father is finally happy after 6 decades of hell working for a family (won’t say exactly which).
@@bostontowny4life744 quality posts
"Take only the children, what's left of them, and go".
Man did he hit the nail on the head with Meadow and AJ.
It is a brilliant line.
I grew up with no empathy .You learn from damaged and corrupt people.It is so hard to break free from that .It is burned into your soul.
He was honest with her. She didn't go there for honesty.
True
He saw right through her bullsht lol
We all say we like and want honesty until we actually receive it.
@@lucasrackley250 I mean, getting honest feedback sometimes “hurts” or is uncomfortable, or is unexpected, or is uncalled for at times but I will say that more often than not, I did appreciate it AFTERWARDS when someone told me I was being too nice or if I had a piece of broccoli stuck in my teeth, or if I didn’t approach a challenge at work properly or in an understanding manner.
Many folks may not like it or appreciate it at the moment, but I don’t know too many folks who didn’t appreciate getting more insight into what they weren’t aware of before.
@@steverogers7601 It all comes down to the delivery. Honesty without compassion is brutality.
"So you're saying that I need to keep some distance, stop internalizing . . . "
"Dafuq did I just say?"
Right? He said nothing even resembling any of that. Clearly she went to "therapy" to hear that sort of typical jargon so she could twist it into a justification in her own mind of what she does and reassure herself that a therapist "agrees" with her outlook. This guy blew that strategy clear out of the water. Which is why the next time we see her she's at home in the fetal position on her couch.
"Did I stutter?!"
@@walterlv01 He was a damn good therapist.
@@vasvas8914 Man of culture
Some forms of Sociopathy include empathy and kindness. It can be reserved for mothers, family, pets, etc. It all depends on the class and degree. Sociopathy is known for a strong lack of empathy, not a complete loss of it. Psychopathy is a term usually used for a person with Zero empathy and complete criminal irritability, and lack of control. It's safe to say that Tony had the makings of a Sociopath, but he never had the makings of a varsity athlete. Small hands was his problem.
Shineopathy is a term usually used for a person with Zero empathy towards other shineboxes, and lack of control of his own shinebox. It's safe to say that Tony had the makings of a Sociopath, but he never had the makings of a varsity shiner. Small hands was his problem.
Not going to lie you had us for the half there.
i hate being taken along for a ride like that. have your fucking upvote
Hazardeur Lol.
Fucking got me 🤣
Carmela’s tears dry up real quick when Tony gives her jewelry & cars 😂
"It's a Cayenne. Like the peppah."
T always knew when to provide...
The butter not melting in her mouth, whatever happened there...
This is exactly what Tony meant during all their arguments and clearly he wasn't wrong either lol
Her tears dry up TEMPORARILY. Then they flow like a river when she's lying in bed next to Tony's fat a$$ who is snoring away like a freight train after eating three big plates of Rigatoni washed down with a few glasses of red wine. "What the fuck kind of life have I settled for?" is Carmela's thought every night. While she fantasizes about Furio.
Her reaction when he says "the mafia"... it's like she tiptoed around it all her life and suddenly someone spits it out in her face.
Exactly. Denial as a way of life
That and the way she moves her hand in dismissal of its truly criminal nature by saying, “organized crime” as though that makes it less awful than the more disorganized type…
Good acting by Edie Falco. She truly understood Carmella Soprano.
@@dtschuor459 yep. She always acts like people such as drug dealers are wayyyy worse than her husband, yet most dealers have probably never killed anyone and are actually rather "good hearted people". I've met a few dealers who were incredibly nice and caring people, they just needed more income and had little to no other means of getting it. Plus, without drug dealers we wouldn't have drugs. And idk about you but a LOT of people are fans of drugs. Without them there'd be a hell of a lot more angry, stressed out people in the world lol.
@@John-sr2hr
It sort of depends on the drugs…but yeah.
Dealers aren’t a universal evil…there are predatory “lenders” who do it with the law on their side, and nobody refuses to invite them to a barbecue 🫢
@@dtschuor459 yeah, the fent dealers and the violent pieces of shit who will kill you because you owe them $15 definitely aren't the nice ones I'm talking about lol
“One thing that you can never say, is that you’ve never been told.” Completely strips the mob wife of their immunity to guilt, regret and shame. Brilliant quote
I'd actually pay to see this doc.
yes that is how therapists work
@@sumukhvaze7161
Not ALL therapists work like this.
@@sumukhvaze7161 what weed you smokin? Not all therapists are this brutally honest with they’re clients
@Zip Zipperhead I actually don’t think this guy would in this situation, given it was her first session. Unless she decided to listen to him and leave Tony and pay for it with her own money. Bud he knows that she very likely won’t take his advice and even if she does she likely won’t be able to afford him. So either way it’s very unlikely he would be giving her ongoing therapy, so I think he would chalk this up as a free first consult.
He said in one session what other Doctors take ten years to say . Like pulling off a band- aid. No pussyfooting around with this Doc.
One thing you can never say - that you haven't been told.
Could be the most brutal sentence in the show when you think about it
They’ve been told. Twice. Now I’ll tell em
Yep
Of course it won’t stop her from playing the victim in it all.
So powerful and so true.
"Take only the children, what's left of them, and go."
What's left of them, as in what of them hasn't been corrupted by Tony.
It is already too late by then.
James Fielding that was why Carmella was never innocent. She let her daughter be subjected to that life and money...it was all fucked up.
Only Meadow had any sense at this point. She had an independent streak and questioned Tony. AJ was already ruined from being so spoiled he wouldnt make it if his survival depended on hid willingness to work. By the ene of the series, Meadow was a full apologist for Tony, engaged to another mobsters son, becoming a lawyer to defend people like Tony by trade. AJ who after all of his fuck ups, was given a good job by his dad and after burning his suv was seen driving a new beamer and as we all know with Carmela, she realized she couldnt do it on her own, all it took was Tony buying a spec house and she could live high on the hog still.
@@goodplenty534 yupp, not only a mobsters son, but a guy who was on track to be in that life as well, kind of already doing small crimes
@@ehsaankhan7078
Finn? Son of a mobster? Small crimes? I missed that part.
One of the best scenes in the entire series. Amazing acting from Edie Falco. This guy tells it to her straight, cuts through all the defenses she's perfected and you see her going back to into them with her " you think I should draw clearer boundaries, not internalize," and he brings it right back to her with his "what did I just say? Leave him," and you can see the shock on her face. Love his parting words to her, "one thing you can never say is that you haven't been told."
just another example of the amazing screenwriting in Sopraonos
MrLamotta86 That, yes - and also the amazing lack of authenticity where anything medical was concerned. I loved The Sopranos, but my one big beef was the gross inaccuracy of every single medical situation, from Uncle Junior's surgical odyssey to Tony's "squaw-moose" skin cancer. This is a classic example; a real psychiatrist would never breach therapeutic neutrality like that. I understand that it was a TV show, and the writers had only 4 minutes to portray Krakower attempting to penetrate Carmella's many defenses; but they could have hired a medical consultant, who would have immediately said, "No! No shrink would ever be do it that way. And that's not how you pronounce 'adenocarcinoma', or how a skin cancer is removed ... " and on, and on. With all the trouble that David Chase went to, to make everything as authentic as possible, it's amazing that he didn't care whether the medical information was accurate or not.
Joe E
what david chase has shown here is a psychiatrist who has become fed up with what psychiatric therapy has become and the results of it show themselves across america..
This wise old man has over stepped the conventional method and told her as it is...and at the end he says at least you haven't been told..
David chase was breaking grounds and even in this scene he has shown that americans have become too soft and politically correct..
Any how carmela only saw rhis guy once...melfi was the one who was working on the proper guide lines.....and what was the result there....
Good points. Melfi is actively if at first unwittingly enabling and encouraging Tony, whereas Dr Krakower gives his personal advice. He knows he won't see her again.
al muslim I agree. We have many people all over the world in “therapy” for years instead of getting them to make healthy choices, & break dysfunctional relationships. All original sin is is crazy dysfunction taught to other generations. People go to church, synagogue mosque, Buddha instead of breaking those nasty habits. We can still have empathy but we got to be straight with people. Dang my mentor wanted me to practice, this is making me think I may give it a go. If I can direct patients to getting healthy, instead of keeping them coming to me. It’s ok to check on once in awhile but I am astonished by people that go for years with no progress.
"Probably the least of his misdeeds." How's that going?
Man, was that deep.
mighty mate lol. Love this character, I met real psychiatrist’s like this. He is great. And I wish this for every patient!
It's line like that make this guy a pretty terrible doctor to his patients at least in a realistic this show is very
he is simply imposing his own morality now I know we all know Tony Soprano is far from a good person
But people like this doctor want a world without crime and that may sound good to a lot of people on paper but with the world without crime we wouldn't have any drugs anything illegal that people enjoy such as driving cars spirited etc
More so Tukwila, Goldman's 1913s a anarchism what it really stands for people that hold the Lauper to a gold standard and truly believe that no law should ever be broken I want the world and the people that inhabit it to be the equivalent of a flock of sheep walking down a straight path with two high walls on other side Harley obedient if you really think about it that is how we are in this world
Referring to the American government, the greatest American Anarchist, David Thoreau, said:
"Government, what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to
posterity, but each instance losing its integrity; it has not the vitality and force of a single living man. Law
never made man a whit more just; and by means of their respect for it, even the well disposed are daily
made agents of injustice."
Indeed, the keynote of government is injustice. With the arrogance and self-sufficiency of the King who
could do no wrong, governments ordain, judge, condemn, and punish the most insignificant offenses,
while maintaining themselves by the greatest of all offenses, the annihilation of individual liberty. Thus
Ouida is right when she maintains that "the State only aims at instilling those qualities in its public by
which its demands are obeyed, and its exchequer is filled. Its highest attainment is the reduction of
mankind to clockwork. In its atmosphere all those finer and more delicate liberties, which require
treatment and spacious expansion, inevitably dry up and perish. The State requires a taxpaying machine in
which there is no hitch, an exchequer in which there is never a deficit, and a public, monotonous, obedient,
colorless, spiritless, moving humbly like a flock of sheep along a straight high road between two walls."
Yet even a flock of sheep would resist the chicanery of the State, if it were not for the corruptive,
tyrannical, and oppressive methods it employs to serve its purposes. Therefore Bakunin repudiates the
State as synonymous with the surrender of the liberty of the individual or small minorities,--the
destruction of social relationship, the curtailment, or complete denial even, of life itself, for its own
aggrandizement. The State is the altar of political freedom and, like the religious altar, it is maintained for
the purpose of human sacrifice.
In fact, there is hardly a modern thinker who does not agree that government, organized authority, or the
State, is necessary only to maintain or protect property and monopoly. It has proven efficient in that
function only.
Even George Bernard Shaw, who hopes for the miraculous from the State under Fabianism, nevertheless
admits that "it is at present a huge machine for robbing and slave-driving of the poor by brute force." This
being the case, it is hard to see why the clever prefacer wishes to uphold the State after poverty shall have
ceased to exist.
Unfortunately, there are still a number of people who continue in the fatal belief that government rests on
natural laws, that it maintains social order and harmony, that it diminishes crime, and that it prevents the
lazy man from fleecing his fellows. I shall therefore examine these contentions.
Search Emma Goldman.anarchism what is really stands for on google.for the rest
@@lurk7967 Oooookay.....
@David Cat did you get that from somewhere? ;D
“How’s that going” I almost died of laughter! the delivery was perfection
Yep. It’s the theme of the whole show.
This guy deserves a raise from whoever pays his paycheck.
“Enabler would be more of an accurate job description of you than an accomplice.”
He says “neighbor” not enabler
@@NightsChapterSeven
Try again.
He says “enabler”, and “enabling” Tony makes perfect sense, as opposed to being his “accomplice.”
“Neighbor”, which he does not say, doesn’t make sense.
Enabler
@@NightsChapterSeven he says enabler
@@josephpalacio2343 enabler would be a more accurate job description than accomplice.
A neighbour would be a more accurate job description than accomplice.
The first comparison makes sense and the second doesn't in this context. Besides you can hear the L too
This is the only responsible medicine administered in a shrink's office during the entire series. Sober her up to the immorality of her life, don't get her high on psychotropics or Freudian rationalizations of that life. Dr. Melfi should have perhaps listened to her mentor. Instead, therapeutic neutrality and her own fascination with treating a mafioso renders her precisely what Carmela is: one of many enablers of Tony.
That's her arc, though: at the end of the series, she finally realizes how futile it is to treat someone who has no intention of changing. Melfi had flaws, but she was capable of growth.
Some fans have suggested this is a dream. Carmela subconsciously knows all these unmovable moral truths about her life, and projects them onto a vague preconception of a psychiatrist as an older Jewish man. When we next see her, seemingly depressed on the couch, its been read she's rhetorically positioning herself in a way that gets her what she wants. But perhaps she also just woke up.
One of the most subtle, complex, convicting and powerful scenes in the entire series. I think about this one all the time.
it wasn't subtle. it was as blunt as can be.
@@mikefingers8909 Seriously subtle as a sledgehammer. "I won't take blood money, and neither should you."
”Take only the children - what’s left of them”
Greatest line in the series
Why would you think about it all the time, you in the mob
@@cogen651 we all can’t grow up in fantasies.
I love his “I’ve been married 31 years” I see it as a sly to Carmellas’ hypocritical excuse about not leaving tony due to the “sanctity of marriage”. His face when she tried to imply that he wouldn’t get it because he was Jewish. Ugh I love how often they remind you that Carmella is only in that situation because she wants to be.
She knew who he was when she married him. She’s such a hypocrite.
Love Jewish People...They have insight from years of suffering...
@@KimPhilby203 You mean like almost every other sect of people on earth?🤦🏾♂️🤣🤣
she starts by making the point that he would not understand the commitment of marriage family.. etc...
ive been married for 31 years..
"well then you know".......
@@aaronmiles2802 Jews and blacks are the only people whose past suffering has become marketable..so in turn its the only ones people "care" about
"Take only the children, what's left of them, and go". That is a very powerful line to say to a mother. The fact that she heard that and still didn't listen proves that her character was just as bad as Tony's. Such great writing on this show.
I wouldn’t say as bad she was rotten for sure but tony was a sociopathic serial killer night and day
How do so many fans of this show always miss the point and say dumb shit like this
@@BassssicBasssssssss care to elaborate?
she didnt give a shit about tony, aj or meadow. yet pretended she did.
@@chrisweber6090 she is almost as bad because she pretends to be offended by the stuff Tony does she wants to keep the lifestyle that comes with it
Everyone is focusing on the actual conversation, which is relevant, but I think an equally important aspect of this scene is the contrast with Dr Melfi’s sessions with Tony. The writers are showing us that she is an enabler and only keeps Tony as a patient because, in some level, she’s drawn to him. She only realizes that in the very end of the show!
i hated melfi, she was so selfish. the episode where she gets raped, she didnt tell tony so she could feel some sense of power and control. she allowed that guy to walk free and unharmed when she could have had him killed. anyone after that point he rapes is on her, and because she did it to feel in control i would argue she's no better than a rapist.
good distinction, very little time used in developing subpoints like that in the show. Very economical.
Precisely! This scene reveals so much to which the audience was oblivious to since we were also seduced by the charisma of Tony Soprano.
Not surprising, it was implied and even stated outright deep down Melfi knows Tony was a lost cause but kept seeing him because it created a sense of danger and thrill for her. Even her own therapist called out the fact that Melfi seems to derive a kind of almost perverse thrill at treating a mobster. Plus heavily implied sexual attraction to him.
The amount of times people got whacked on the Sopranos yet this was the most brutal murder of them all. The psych absolutely shattered her reality and called her on her bullshit more than Tony ever could.
Interesting how Carmela throws in that line "you'll charge me anyway". Just like Tony throwing cash at Melfi when they were disagreeing about something.
Carmela and Tony are strikingly similar in some regards - that's why they got married and it's why they're not divorced. They somehow both see themselves as self-elevated working-class Italians who are constantly victimized by the outside world so they're entitled to victimize it back. The famous "poor me". Carmela didn't earn a penny of that money yet she confirms 100% of what the Dr. is saying when she dismissively throws money at him - she's Tony's first moll, nothing more.
That’s her way of trying to deceive that doctor into thinking she doesn’t want to be there and hear what he has to say, carm is very deceitful.
@@Rutherford_Inchworm_III Sadly, you're right. And I have knows several Italians who felt the same way. I'm talking about REAL working class Italians, not ones involved in criminal enterprise.
"If the truth can destroy something it deserves to be destroyed"
This is arguably the crucial scene of the entire series.
does anything change as a result of it?
@@squeezycakes1775 let’s just say something festers in Carmela as a result of this session which comes out later on.
last scene: tony and carmela meadow and aj sitting happy in a restaurant. this scene changed nothing
@@squeezycakes1775 No, but that's kind of the point. Carmela is just as addicted to the lifestyle as the rest of them, and so makes her choice to stay in it.
@@rodrigomunoz9217 wouldn’t exactly say that Carmella’s happy. More that she’s accepted that she’s in a shitty toxic relationship with a bad husband since that’s the only way she can make money, as she can’t be bothered to work for a living.
AJ was manipulated into forgetting his dreams about joining the army into becoming a producer for Carmine Jr., who literally mainly does porn films.
And Tony is a husk of his season 1-2 self, completely forgetting what it means to be a good man and father. Even though it depresses him, he still clings onto his family for pride
Carmella didnt want to go out there and get a real job
Dr : " he's a Goodman , you tell me he is a depressed criminal, prone to anger serially unfaithful, and does not have the makings of a Varsity Athlete.. is that your definition of a good man ?"
To be fair, I do have my soft drink of choice.
😂😂😂😂
He probably doesn't even have a shinebox
😆
“Take only the children, what’s left of them, and go” Fucking brutal
Every six months or so I come back to this scene. It's the heart of the whole show, the keystone of that gigantic arch.
Indeed.
Same here.
The precipice of an enormous crossroads
Where’s my arch?
I agree definitely
1:43 To Carmella, Tony’s infidelity is his only misdeed. She’s fine with the rest of it
Absolutely - this is because this is the only aspect that affects her personally. Carmella is fine with what Tony does because from a cultural standpoint, they use their Italian/Sicilian heritage to justify what their "family business" is. She is fine with what Tony does because it affords her a lifestyle she has become accustomed to - home maker, giant mansion, fur coats, jewelry, etc.
If it weren't for Tony banging hooahs on the side her biggest problem would be chasing after Tony with a suit every time the local cops or FBI drag him away.
@@creepspilla Yes for all her moralistic BS she views the Law's treatment of Tony and the mafia as "Persecution" (her words).
I think Carmela is just totally in denial about the extent of Tony's violent crimes. Her life is a lot easier if she choses to believe the "illegal gambling and whatnot" explanations.
@@dimebag6996 She's also fairly ignorant of the extent of his crimes, unless she researched mafia history. She's not a Karen Hill.
@@histguy101 Would knowing about them really make a difference to her ? There is no limit to how much denial one can live with. Everything from an Italian inventing the telephone to discovering America she lives in an echo chamber.
This scene is another example of why the Sopranos is a masterpiece. Dr. Krakower is a highly intelligent, wise, straightforward and principled man. He sees right through Carmella's bullshit and tells her straight to her face why her illusion is an illusion. Carmella wants to have her cake and eat it too. As we know now with the series over, Carmella made a choice to stay with Tony because of the $500 shoes and diamond rings as Tony pointed out in Season 5. Carmella made a decision to be Tony's accomplice and enabler in the pursuit of wealth and influence. This was a great cast and phenomenal story from beginning to end. Every actor on this show made this show special in every way. I am grateful to have grown up on this show and see real actors shine every Sunday night on HBO.
“I’m not charging you, because I don’t take blood money. And you shouldn’t either.”
SAVAGE!
WELL, she could at least take the part of Tony's income that was legitimate. He WAS a waste management consultant at Barone Sanitation. That's not blood money!
Get a fucking job, sweetie.
*can't
@@scottmatheson3346 Good correction - "can't" is the key word. He's not giving her advice on the right or best thing to do; he's saying it's impossible for Carm to continue accepting blood money if she wants to continue to exist as a person, which, given how things go in the final scene, is almost definitely true in one way or another.
This is the best shrink ever.
Jewish version of Dr. House!
@@beastdclxvi5959 Instead of vicodin, he's hittin the Manischewitz.
America needs more like him. We may not like what he says. But we may thank him later.
"probably the least of his crimes." And "how's that going?" Are great.
misdeeds*
Crazy how different Melfi’s teachers philosophy was from hers. Tony would have beat the crap out of this guy if he was that blunt and honest.
I find it very ironic how Carmela actually judged the therapist with assuming about his Jewish beliefs. But then gets offended when he simply states the facts about Tony that she gives him and assumes he’s judging her and her family and status. Like she’s above it all because of the blood money... great scene.
I don’t think she’s offended _ just freaked out. As the guy himself implied, she’d never been told before.
That’s just it. She knows what Tony does but is in love with the idea of high status. But blood money is tainted so she’s been exposed. So I can see where I can be both.
“Is that your definition, of a good man?” Always got me weak😂
"Probably the least of his mis-deeds."
Dam! Brutal honesty!
The implied "yet its the one you care about the most" is quite an indictment of her.
@@paulgilbert2506 Well said.
This is what I love about The Sopranos: uncompromising. Cooperation with evil is on par with evil. The reference to Crime & Punishment is a killer!
Uncompromising? Phil compromised!
@@m4cheteaxt109 Hehe. Yes, but only because he had to!
@@m4cheteaxt109 he did 20 fuckin years!
I wanted to get some work done today, but I compromised.
I watched 37 sopranos clips by the radiator instead.
"We don't binge watch. It's embarrassing."
@@user-wt2me2fe5t Well, if we do, it's not in shorts.
Hey Phil: Were you ever in the can?
And she never follows the therapist's advice. The comfort of luxury and familiarity of privilege persuades her to stay, thus trapping her like a fly in a clear glass bottle. Brilliant writing
Easier said than done. She was the boss' wife. He would have tracked her down, especially if she took the children. And he would make it his priority in life to destroy her, if not literally, then certainly figuratively. She was never escaping Tony, if she wanted to. So, she figured she may as well milk it for all she could. Not saying I felt sorry for her. She chose that life.
Recurring theme in the show, people abandoning an honest, better life, for easy comfort and luxury, and in the end they all pay for it. Tony B, Vito, Carmela.
Power enables corruption, wealth and influence is the most difficult drug to sober yourself from. No matter how miserable it makes you, you will never abandon it because your on top, and the view is nice.
“One thing you can never say, you haven’t been told.”
This therapist is invaluable. He tells it like it is. Love how he ends it with saying " don't say you haven't been told"
That cameo by "Dr. Krakower" was the sole voice of truth and morality in the entire series. It is fascinating that the entire series portrays the lives of the characters as a vast construct consisting of a complex yet tenuous web of immorality and lies, and it is all concisely exposed and summarized in a single moment of plain unadorned truthfulness.
Such a small part, but Dr. Krakower's scene is one of the most powerful, well-written in the entire series
I wish Dr. Krakower had a recurring role!😂🤣
Edit: I found out Sully Boyar passed away 2 weeks before this episode aired. RIP DR. KRAKOWER
I wonder if there was a plan for him to be recurring. Rest In Peace.
@James Hagan Watch "In Treatment" from HBO too
He shoulda took the money
Rest in piss
this is what therapy should be -- brutal, honest, clear.
“So enabler would be a more accurate job description for you then accomplice? My apologies”
Yikes 😳
A simple honerable man who said it like it was, all the world ever needed.
“How’s that going” best bit
Carmella tries to pull the deer-in-the-headlights act with this guy, and he just verbally puts her down.
Carmela had some nerve implying that the guy couldn't relate to her situation because he's not catholic. So disrespectful
You're very obviously not Catholic! And if you don't think the Jews do the exact same thing, you're sadly mistaken.
Low-key racism is almost more insulting than full-blown-in-your-face racism.
@@stiofanloingsigh351 The problem is, people think racism is only against immigrants, blacks, Hispanics and Asians. Those of a certain age remember when discrimination against Jews AND Catholics was very much a thing here in America.
@@retroguy9494 as a Catholic, there’s no excuse, and even the church sanctions divorces for infidelity, criminal involvement, etc. What Catholic Church are u referring to?
@@socomply5963 Oh no no no.....what Catholic church are YOU referring to????? As a Catholic myself, I am SHOCKED that you do not know that the Church never EVER sanctions divorce no matter WHAT the circumstances and never HAS sanctioned it. The very best one can hope for is an annulment. And infidelity by itself does NOT qualify for an annulment. It has to be something serious like being married to someone else at the same time and/or having a child with that person.
I had a therapist like this. Not the same context obviously but the same straight forward manner. “What did I just say?” Saved my life.
Notice how she was about to leave when the Dr. said that Tony cheating on her wasn't the worst thing her husband had done. She was expecting validation just like her priest, Furio and her "friends" had given her, not a reality check. At least she stayed long enough to be told what was the right thing to do and acknowledge that she choose herself to be in that toxic lifestyle.
this guy was the best lol
most important scene in the series. i love that he tells her tony needs to read crime and punishment. after this she went home and took a nap then let tony buy her dinner. choices!
Thanks for the upload. This is such a powerful dialogue. "One thing you can never say is that you haven't been told". Straight,no chaser.
As others said, I love that this is a reminder not only to Carmela but to the audience that Tony isn't a hero we should be rooting for but a villain.
I love when she starts giving the standard BS therapy solutions and he cuts her off. Great scene.
This is the slap of reality that the audience keeps forgetting for some reason. I loved the show but I found all of these characters loathsome, especially Tony. Great actors, great show, but these are not people you'd want to meet in any way shape or form. Maybe that's what makes them so appealing.
That is beautifully stated. I share that opinion: I love the dance and hate the dancers. They are parasitical killers, liars, torturers, extortionists, thieves that make everyone else's lives damaged.
But somehow we are made to feel something for these loathsome self deluded people by the quality of the writing and the quality of the acting.
This is a high level achievement
I think it's similar to horror movies in a way. We watch them to feel the thrill of fear without the nasty consequences and trauma of it
And in the sopranos or many of the classic gangster movies, it's like living vicariously through them, the idea of wealth, power, freedom, the secrecy of it all, the members only club type feeling, being on the margins of the law. It's almost like classic westerns in alot of way.
Which I think dr Cusamano brings up at some dinner with Melfi actually
and maybe that's why we indulge in fiction because we don't want to meet the people in our lives?
This scene led me to read Crime & Punishment, and it changed me forever.
Just wondering, how? Im thinking of reading it myself.
Fyodor is the real deal. You made a wise choice.
@@ChicagoIrishman we say sorry and apologize very easily these days .It has become a fashion accessory.
This is the most professional roast I have ever seen
The man is brilliant. Gangsters and thugs are not something to be revered for anyone on a spiritual path of enlightenment. They are the spiritually decayed ogres of our world.
'Probably the least of his misdeeds' 😂😂😂
'Enabler would be a more accurate job description -my apologies'
'How's that going'
The way Carmella broke down at the mention of the word "mafia" shows her extreme denial.
This is one of the most powerful and utterly truthful scenes in the entire series.
Carmela is such a fraud.
take only the children, what's left of them
holy shit taking no prisoners
When you're a mob wife who wants to play the "babe in the woods" routine while benefiting from their husband's crimes... but than an old school therapist straight up tells you the reality of the situation. Most just want to feel good about their bad behavior instead of actually fixing the problem.
He really snatched that hag down from her high horse
The underlying message: You can't help someone who doesn't want to take responsibility for their situation and help themselves.
Carmela wanted absolution, not help.
Her breakdown when he says the word "mafia" - what an amazing actress.
Gandolfini was great but look at the support the series had from the rest of the cast.
Edie Falco was brilliant.
I cannot see anything getting close
Imagine if this guy was Tony's psychiatrist instead of Melfi.
Tony would never return
He would broke Tony, or Tony would have reacted violent agaist the psiquiatrist
I LOVE......LOVE this scene, the brutal honesty.....the stop the bs way he looked her. He knew she wouldn't leave him
“My priest said I should work with him, try to help him be a better person.”
“How’s that going?” 🤣😂🤣
My children listen to and watch Hollywood TV Cinema and my in laws are broke because of usury but my govt says oligarchy is the best way for a Country to behave..
How's that going?
How great would it have been if Carmella replied "There is no Mafia."
“How’s that going..?” Bam
He’s the Jewish version of Dr. House!
Genius writing, brilliant acting, what a series.
This is Season 3, episode 7. Dr. Krakow's character, phenomenal truth in acting!
The single most powerful seen in the show, hands down. Tony was about the life but in the end so was Carmela. She turned a blind eye for the money, the house, the clothes, the status. She could complain all she wanted but she was along for the ride. The whole meeting with the Dr. all she is worried about is the money. That facts.
I agree with your premise, however will say that you have to have money to live.
that short one line "how's that going?" cuts deeper than the ocean. For like always, none of the promises, efforts, mindbending or outside influences have changed one single bit about the reality they live in.
Just as Tony embodies the worst male stereotypes of unfaithfulness and violence, Carmella embodies the worst female stereotypes: She is as definitive a golddigger as possible, pretending that her unyielding tolerance of Tony is proof of her being forgiving and human, when in reality, her love for material things is the only reason. She associates financial worth with self worth not just for herself, but for all people. I found her character nearly impossible to stomach.
Associating self worth with financial worth pretty much makes her American.
@@robertthomas2601 Why do people associate Americans with being materialistic? Go to China, Russia, or the Arab Gulf States and it's much worse.
@@bassmaster867 I guess Americans just stand out the most for it.
@@bassmaster867 People in general are materialistic but American culture brought it to a new level. So no, it's not much worse. China isn't the country who's having a huge obesity crisis.
I find Livia worse than Carmella, even though she's less materialistic. I understand where you're coming from, since Carmella disgusts me too. Even more than Tony, even though he's objectively worse than her.
And then Carmella just gives 50 Grand to Columbia to feel better and makes no changes
we're all living in denial one way or another and when somebody calls us out on it or tells us we tend to get mad and refuse to see the truth.
That applies to Carmela. I don't think it's anyone elses place to decide when someone is or isn't ready to confront something.
Breathtaking television. Perhaps one of the best scripted scenes in the history of the medium. Magnificent casting, acting, dialogue, direction and overall execution. Bravo!
As you have seen every scripted scene in the history of TV, what would be the second?
The doctor has several mic-drops in this scene. 'How's that going?', classic.
One of the most brilliant scenes in the series. This acting. Props. 🌟🌟🌟
That man was a great counselor. Last of a dying breed
One of the best examples on how to write scenes and dialogues for characters .
One of the best scenes in the show
Tony wasn't a psychopath. He was a sociopath.
He was the boss of that pygmy glorified crew over there.
Tony was neither of those things. Psychopaths and sociopaths have total disregard for the feelings of others and laws of society, and are incapable of feeling guilt or remorse. They may learn to convincingly act like a real person and display emotions, but they are hollow inside. Tony may be a criminal, but as depicted in the show he has real feelings of love for his family and other people. And while he suppresses and compartmentalizes many of his emotions, he does struggle with guilt...guilt over killing or betraying people, guilt over cheating on Carmela. It's more like he has two sets of rules, those for his criminal organization and those for his role in legit society, such as it is. He doesn't hold civilians to the same set of rules as other mobsters; he has a sense of propriety regarding the separation of those worlds and when it is/isn't appropriate to cross those boundaries. He knows AJ is not at heart the criminal he is, which is why he's truly heartbroken when AJ starts down that path. None of this is to say Tony isn't a murderer, a drain on society and ultimately more bad than good...but what makes the show so compelling is that he is not just those things. Tony and his crew are violent scumbags, yet they also have the same feelings we do for their families, and try to be good parents and, through a certain lens, try to help their community and people close to them. Labeling Tony a psychopath or sociopath is dismissive and shortchanges the complexity of the character, the brilliant writing and Gandolfini's wonderfully layered and nuanced performance.
@@DanFlashes99 Yet you are wrong, sociopaths do have a limited, albeit weak, ability to feel empathy and remorse. That's what separates them from psychopaths. And Tony was a sociopath for sure.
@@canguneri8355 you're correct. Although sociopaths can lack remorse or empathy just like psychopaths they are also capable of forming emotional attachments to people and animals like Tony does its just depends on the individual and how the disorder manifests with them because there's different models for psychopathy and sociopathy. Sadly on you tube everyone is a fucking psychologist who knows it all 🙄😂
@@DanFlashes99 actually it's psychopaths who have no remorse or empathy, you're right that they can certainly fake emotions but they aren't capable of feeling them.
Sociopaths can form emotional attachments although not all of them do it just depends on the individual and how the disorder manifests within them.
Psychopath's are born sociopath's are made and molded into what they are. Tony's chaotic and traumatising upbringing molded him into a sociopath where in the criminal world he's done some horrific things to people and has covered it up and felt no guilt at all whereas other stuff does effect him emotionally. As fucked up as this sounds Tony to an extent does have a moral code albeit a massively fucked up one. He has a love and affinity for animals who he sees as innocent and defenceless that's why cruelty to animals upsets and angers him so much that's mostly a sociopathic trait. Also Tony's angry outbursts throughout the series where he flies into a rage like when he beat Ralphie for killing the stripper and then finally killed him for killing the horse was impulsive, sociopaths are more impulsive than a psychopath they act out on their compulsions and have less self control than a psychopath would.
Psychopath's tend to be highly intelligent, organised and very detail orientated they plan everything meticulously so they make fewer mistakes and can have a massive amount of self control, press a psychopath's buttons and they're more likely to keep it together and turn it round at you because they think like predators and will plan their attack to the last detail before they act. Press a sociopath's buttons and agitate them they will lash out and go on the attack. There's so many hints throughout the series that Tony is a sociopath you just gotta connect the dots.
She never cared about the crime that financed her life. It was him cheating on her which as the Dr said, the least of Tony’s misdeeds
It’s like they’re not even acting. Amazing performances
That's what good acting is.Duh
Melfi gets you to ask questions about your life. ..this guy actually gave advice
This dude was absolutely grilling her. “You’re not listening” ahaha . All Carm was thinking about is her own financial safety and company.
A key scene in the whole series.