Vanessa’s dad was spot on. He knows that she doesn’t want marriage, she just wants to “win” Zander. 3 weeks ago she didn’t even care about having a long term relationship with her.
FACTS! & I don’t even think he was doing it to “call her out” - he said he use to be like that multiple times, so I feel like he was speaking to a younger version of himself…this is your ego & years from now you’ll realize that like I did type of way
The thing w Aussie is that lots of people have baggage and we can have empathy for that but also Aussie is using that as an excuse to not take any responsibility and to treat others badly - I think that’s the point where it becomes unacceptable in a healthy relationship
Oh my gosh I feel so deeply for Aussie! The episode where Aussie is sitting on the curb crying and suddenly experiencing the dawning of how deep the feeling goes and where it comes from. To me it read like Aussie had never fully made that connection before, which is huge and fragile and I really hope it plays out so there's space for it to get all the way unearthed and healed (hopefully in therapy and with a loving support system and maybe throw in some shrooms). And ALSO Sam is wonderful and a catalyst for good and doesn't deserve to be walked out on all the freaking time.
This is what confuses me, Mal said on episode 1 that Yoly is the type that can fall in love with anyone and she didn’t know what made her different. This is proving her point. Why did she propose to this woman?
@@TheQueenE I saw that. I don’t think they are. Vanessa went into this experiment not wanting to be married at all. Mal just wanted to be more financially secure before getting married. She never said she didn’t want it. She just wanted her money to be right.
Aussie also did it to Mildred during their trial and acted confused when called out on it. I'm eager to hear Aussie"s reflections at the reunion. This show definitely served as a mirror.
All I can say about Aussie: you're not responsible for your trauma, but you are responsible for your healing. Mal - STAND UP, do not get down on one knee for someone who isn't 100% sure about you. UGH. Mal please no. STOP THE CAMERA, RE-SHOOT THE SCENE. If Vanessa wants to be with someone who's obsessed with her, Lexie is right there. Xander is running off with Yoly, bffr.
Exactly with Aussie! I do empathize with them, but they need to heal because they’re being their issues and taking it out on their partners. That’s not fair to Sam. Glad Sam stuck up for herself
I’m not mad at Mildred marrying for security. Security should factor in to a union. But her unwillingness to listen to Tiff and passing it off as a cultural thing-Nope! Aussie needs therapy period. She is not in a proper emotional space to be a true partner. Aussie’s break down was heartbreaking. It feels like she was terribly abused. Lexi’s personality is too strong for Rae. Rae needs to break free. Maybe run off with Sam? Yoly and Xander need to run 18:33 off together. I’m not mad at Yoly for, again, wanting security. And the passion between the two of them is undeniable. It gives all the things-love, chemistry, and financial security! Mal and Vanessa are kind of in the same boat. It took your partner falling in love with someone else for you to now suddenly take marriage seriously. Mal can do better. Pick someone who unreservedly picks you, boo! Vanessa just needs to go out there and live her best polyamorous life. Love your reviews!!!!
But if security reasons are enough to be married, why isn't Mildred still married? Did stability go out the door and then so did the marriage? Marriage is for better or for worse.
Mal is the one that everyone is in love w this season. I'm straight and I'm like well damn, Mal's got it going on. Lol. She could have anyone honestly- and deserves someone who wants her fully ❤
It's crazy how Vanessa claimed Xander would be asexual without her meanwhile Xander is laying and slaying so much they should be sponsored by Gatorade.
Xander, in the conversation literally before the one in which Vanessa said they are basically asexual, admitted to being a fairly sexual person. Not sure if Vanessa is lying or what.
@@Monocultured01 I don’t think Vanessa is lying. I truly just think Vanessa is so into herself that she let herself believe that because Xander wants marriage and before this, Xander was the one doing the chasing in the relationship she truly thought that Xander only wanted her when Xander was just being a normal monogamous partner.
Xander just wants what they cannot have. This is immaturity. Took me long time to learn this lesson. If a high self esteem person doesn’t get needs met they leave fast. Xander just needs an attentive partner - period. Xander is the example of what I would consider a fantastic mate. They need to define what they need over what they think they want. I’m not absolutely sure but I don’t think neither Yoli or Van are best matches for Xander. It’s their choice I understand, and Yoli is def the better choice but I think Xander has something destined that is still to be discovered.
@@jadechaya9025 yea towards the end when Lexi said they were some sort of soulmates and she saw Mal in her life for a long time, Mal’s facial expression was off
I don’t believe for one minute Vanessa has actually changed. I think she never thought there was the potential Xander would actually connect with someone so now she’s running scared.
The way I have been waiting for your recaps I'm feeling a little thirsty over here. I love your takes and the way you admit you don't know everything about the dynamics in a queer relationship. As a queer woman I'm here to say ✨️you're doing great sweetie ✨️
I’m surprised the way Lexi communicates with Rae wasn’t of note for you. In my opinion, she’s toxic and controlling. Rae needs to find her voice because I feel like that’s the core reason why she’s unsure if she wants to get married.
Aussie seems exceptionally selfish . Her needs and feeling come first and everyone has to wait to discuss things on her terms. Sam needs to leave the relationship.
Yes! She puts her down! And I went down that rabbit hole and apparently besides her only fans, she is something of a financial sector rockstar- merger and acquisitions senior consultant! And apparently Rae is seen as less than being a software engineer? I feel so inadequate reading that and their ages lol
@@unicornL Don't feel inadequate. I get the feeling based on the way she talks around her parents that she's very privileged. Yes, you have to be very smart to get a job like that, but I'd be hard pressed to believe that she made it to that point at her age with no networking help from her parents.
I don't feel sorry for Aussie. Being with someone who doesn't deal with their own stuff is truly exhausting. People with baggage can totally be in relationships. We all have baggage. But if you don't deal with your own and dump it on your partner, it's only a matter of time the partner gets tired of putting up with it. We can be there for each other and "protect ourselves" but we are not meant to be therapists to our partners. Both persons needs should be considered and met. Aussie is the oldest (I think?) and they are so immature and selfish. I don't think they're the most horrible person ever, but they are a very self centred partner because they're stuck reliving trauma triggers as a child. And I am sure at least one person in their life has at least brought this up to them so this shouldn't be an epiphany for them if someone puts them in their place.
@@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 Yeah, it's old enough to acknowledge they are responsible for bettering themselves. I would not be surprised if previous relationships also ended because of their "me me me me" mentality. Oddly enough, I think they'd do very well on first few dates knowing all the right things to say. Then when you actually get in a relationship with them, that's when their victim mentality fully explodes. Another thing that bothered me about them ( I am a CIS straight woman so maybe I am coming from a place of ignorance) is how they equated not doing household duties because they are masc presenting. That would be a wonderful topic to dive into and explore in therapy for them. It's an interesting glimpse of what masculinity means to Aussie. And as a society and group that fight against gender bias, this is truly gender stereotyping in a sense. They need to do so much work on themselves and deconstruct so much.
Yes!! Ausse is bonded with her childhood abuse & trauma. So much so that when she acknowledges only receiving love from her grandmother, she HAD to excuse her parents in that same breath. It is completely unfair for Sam to take on the responsibility of therapist in her relationship!!!
Hi! 👋I'm asexual. Just wanted to comment on the asexual question you brought up. Asexual people aren't necessarily indifferent to sex, but experience little to no sexual attraction to others. So it's about attraction, not action. Many asexuals want and do have sex (some don't as they are indifferent or repulsed). So Xander may still be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. They haven't said anything themselves about it yet, which makes Vanessa's comment even worse to me
Mal ISN'T a victim here. Neither is Yoly, they don't fit and u can tell they R different ppl. Money was just 1 of there problems so i dont get how ppl forgot that. Mal's ego is y after 3 yrs she's chasing Yoly. She has a problem with rejection and a need of validation. No shame alot of us do, but proposing to someone, telling u they r in love with Xander doesn't add up. I could tell they were emotionally not on the same page and the relationship had Run it's course.
I agree. When I first saw Mal's intro, I said it out loud she does not want to marry Yoly. Mal talks a good talk and ppl are falling for it, but Mal came into this saying she's not ready and she's still not ready. How does it make sense that Mal is ready now in 3 weeks when when nothing in her situation has changed?
@@melissasllew2527 yea well said. when my friends and I saw ep1 with Mal and Yoly we all were surprised that they were even a couple. There energy wasnt even in snyc.
I want to give %100 applause to the producers for making Mal and Yoly go first on Decision Day. Yoly KNEW Mal was going to propose regardless. Yoly doesn’t want to be alone but she doesn’t want Mal but she has to trust Xanders word of them running off together (I believe Xander will stay with Vanessa) which sucks for Yoly but I want Mal to find someone who wants Mal, not just companionship.
@@orangesunset9901 Yoly is on the show because she gave Mal the ultimatum. She wants more than just companionship or she wouldn't give the ultimatum. She wants marriage and a baby. Mal has been putting her off for 3 years. Probably Mal is the one who just wants companionship and not marriage, but is not being honest about it. She's only ready to propose now because she doesn't want to lose Yoly to someone else. Yoly deserves to find someone who wants not just companionship but who wants the same things and also wants it as badly as she does.
@@TheQueenE lol I’m putting my legit psych degree and my eyes to use. This woman hasn’t changed. Now Tiff I see growth. Vanessa is still the same person since day Omg
Right?! All I see is fear and desperation in Vanessa at this point. She’ll go back to being her authentic self when the threat of losing Xander is gone.
@@aw4460 I talked to someone else about this because I too thought Vanessa is exactly the same. No growth. She’s too in love with herself. The person I talked to said she suspects that Vanessa incurred a narcissistic injury when Xander hooked up with someone else. Now, in order to regain control, Vanessa is love bombing Xander. When Xander gives in, Vanessa will resume the prior dynamic. It makes sense. Vanessa is the most toxic, self centered person I’ve seen on a reality show in a long time.
Personally, I don’t like the Xander/Yoly…mostly cause Xander reads as shady to me idk what it is. Also don’t have much fondness for Lexi, I get she’s probably feeling insecure because of Rae’s insecurities but the way Lexi drags Rae ain’t it 😒 Aussie…She needs tons of therapy. Sam didn’t do anything wrong and Aussie was taking out her trauma on Sam and it’s veering on abusive with how Aussie insults and dismisses sam.
I felt like Xander was very shady about the whole situation with Yoly and her when she was talking to Vanessa and other people. It rubbed me off the wrong way. Xander and Yoly definitely deserve each other in this regard.
I do get sneaky from Xander & idk if that's a side effect from being closely associated with Vanessa or if it's bc she's actually shady😂😂 I do get that she's kind of pretending with Vanessa or at least playing out the final days of her relationship with Vanessa bc it's on her face a lot of times. Like she gets this disgusted look, but masks it with tears lhh
Yolys admission pissed me off, bc one of Mals reasons for NOT being ready to marry is she wanted to be prepared to be a provider. She wanted to build her money up, and Yoly made it seem like she didn’t care. Now all of a sudden “Xanders got her money right” and it’s a reason you’re choosing her???? Either she’s using Xanders finances as an excuse to choose her, or she always cared and obfuscated that concern w Mal.
Yoly did not agree with Mal that she needed to wait for her to build her money up. She wanted to marry Mal without it, Mal is the one who didn't want to. Yoly and Xander came into this wanting marriage and babies like yesterday. It's a bonus that Xander has things in place. I don't know why Mal is making it seem like Yoly is just interested in the finances when Yoly was ready to marry her without it
@@melissasllew2527 I hear you, but that’s why I’m so confused! 😭 if she didn’t care, why was that one of the reasons she mentioned to Alicia and Mal, when she knows that was one of Mal’s insecurities in the first place? 😭😭
@@ndeat.5833 that was the best answer to the question they asked. They asked her something about if she's sure Xander is ready, well how much more ready can Xander be if she already has plans set in place for in vitro?
@@ndeat.5833 Yoly also brought up her age. I can see how for Yoly it's a decision between someone who's ready today and someone who isn't clear when they're going to be ready. Mal has been working on her finances for years; how much more is it going to take?
11:14 I don’t doubt that moment is real, but it’s always about Aussie. Like Aussie is taking Sam changing personal af, Aussie ends up blaming Mildred or their childhood, or on the fact that Sam had the audacity to change. It’s a lot.
Mildred is 100% the problem. At least Tiff is working on her stuff and able to acknowledge what’s wrong with their communication style. I genuinely think Mildred doesn’t think she has flaws
Mal and Vanessa are similar in that they both don’t want to lose. They both had valid concerns and stances that they’re now overlooking because their partners are interested in someone else. When Mal said that Yoli falls in love with everyone, she meant that Yolo is opportunistic. If you want what Yoli wants, then Yoli wants you. Mal wants Yoli to want her for her. And she deserves that. Yoli is in a quandary because she’s always chosen with her head and now her heart’s involved. Xander matches her vibe. Xander is romantic, has similar sex drive, and doesn’t need to be told what to do. Those two are compatible just as they are. It seems like there was a tediousness with Mal in that Yoli had to tell her or correct her before Mal gave her what she wanted or needed. (And when it came to sex, that wasn’t enough.) I hope Mal realizes after this horrible proposal that she deserves to be chosen too and that she doesn’t need to earn anyone’s love. I hope Yoli and Xander go for it. Vanessa’s dad clocked it correctly: Vanessa just doesn’t want to lose. Her newfound perspective doesn’t outweigh her narcissism. She uses her growth as bait to get Xander to choose her. She just wants Xander’s undivided attention.
I like your breakdown, except I don't agree with the Yoly is opportunistic part. I can't see how that would be what Mal meant when Yoly was ready to marry Mal without the finances being in place. I feel like most everybody is overlooking that part when it's the whole reason they're on the show. Yoly wasn't wanting to wait for Mal to have finances in place or do anything to earn her love. She was willing to marry Mal as is. Mal on the other hand, knows Yoly is gonna be in love with whoever she's with, so how does Mal realistically expect Yoly to prove that Mal is the one? Did Mal set a bar that she knows cannot be reached? 🤔
I see no hope for Tiffany or Mildred. Mildred's reason for wanting to get married and the way she communicates is in itself super problematic. Tiff has issues, but the way Mildred talks to her is upsetting and frustrating. Aussie is also blinded by her own selfishness and I do feel like it’ll end without them getting engaged. A lot of these people do not need this show, they need therapy.
I’ll admit I was the first passenger on the anti-Vanessa train but I feel like Vanessa is different now and we hate to admit but it took her seeing Xander wanting and longing for someone else for Vanessa to gain some perspective
Vanessa is simply love-bombing Xander to regain control of her. If you are buying it, it’s a sign you might be susceptible to that kind of manipulation.
Vanessa isn't different, she's insecure like any other narc who finally realizes the world doesn't revolve around them😂😂 remember she told us Xander was asexual outside of her literally 2 minutes after Xander confirmed she likes sex & 30 minutes b4 we saw her checking out titties & rubbing all on Yoly🤦🏽♀️🤣🤣🤣
Hey Queen E! I found your channel last week and binge watched all your review videos for this show. I really enjoy your take on things and love that you show so many clips! I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow! I hope Yoly and Zander choose each other, especially for the reason that I don't think Vanessa could ever give her the full commitment and stable life that Zander wants in a marriage with kids.
I agree I believed what Vanessa said too… but that’s still a lot going on If Aussie can’t be willing to have accountability I agree sam should be ok to wish her the best and gtfo
Tiff's acceptance of Mildred's special needs son really made me love Tiff all the more. But I think Mildred needs to work on herself but that Tiff will end up choosing her and honestly- I think Tiff is better off without her. I hate saying that! Also, I think Yoly is less chaotic than Vanessa and I liked that Xander pointed out that what she was getting from Mal was more friendship than love, and despite some red flags- I do want them together. I wanted Lexi and Mal to hook up, and a part of me thought they did when Mal was talking about Lexi's body, etc- but, Lexi is obsessive over Rae and I think it's because that's who she discovered that she was gay w? Maybe I'm off there? I really think that Sam deserves more than Aussie can give, and I can't be alone in saying all the friends from this season really wormed themselves into my heart ❤. I think Mildred, Vanessa, and Aussie need to leave and seek therapy immediately. Actually maybe not Vanessa- maybe she needs to get into a fun throuple and call it good.
See, people hate or discredit when people say marriage is a business but Yoly is over here choosing financial security over a 4yr relationship. Does Yoly love Xander ..sure I guess but she built and invested a life with Mal and she’s considering/ willing to walk away from it because someone else can give her the life she WANTS….call it what you want but she’s not the only woman making that decision….that decision is made all the time
It's unfair for ppl to paint Yoly as focusing only on the financials when Yoly was willing to marry Mal without the financial security. Mal is the one who wasn't ready. Yoly is connected to Xander on the basis that they came into this on the same page, wanting the exact same things. She only talked about Xander's finances, because Mal's friend asked if she's sure Xander is ready and she was making the point that Xander is ready and has money aside for invitro. Mal is being disingenuous by saying oh so it's about the money, knowing full well that Yoly was wanting to marry her without all that.
Vanessa isn't as bad as everyone thinks, she's just got foot on mouth disease and is a bit in her fantasy about herself. She's an easy target to hate but the true villains (lexi and yolly) are far more insideous. Yolly is a gaslighter and lexi treats Rae like her property.
She actually checks all the boxes of narcissism. If you don’t pick up on those traits and you are seriously giving Vanessa the benefit of the doubt despite all the glaring red flags, I really suggest looking into it so you will be aware if you ever encounter a narcissist yourself.
Aussie is not in a place to be in a healthy relationship right now. Aussie needs therapy. Weekly. It’s ok to have baggage, because everyone has baggage at that age but you need to be actively working on it.
People get married for security all the time. Heck, people get married for insurance. I think it's important for Tiff and Mildred to be clear about each other's reasons. It seemed like Tiff was being intentionally obtuse when Mildred was saying what she has with Tiff is different IMO
I feel like Aussie can't accept her flaws. She justifies her mistakes by saying she is trying her best and doesn't take accountability for her actions. She's 40 years old but acts 19. She's just so self centered that it's really irritating. I also feel like Sam doesn't accept that her actions hurt Aussie because she believes that as Aussie's girlfriend she already supports Aussie so much that any of her own flaws are justified. It's just not a healthy dynamic, they make each other miserable. This is a wildly unpopular opinion but I started off not liking Yoly AT ALL and now she's one of my favourites. I feel so bad for her. I know what its like to fall in love with somebody when you're both in relationships. She didn't choose to fall in love with Xander. My heart is also breaking for Mal. Girl deserves so much better than to be beg for love from someone who can't give it. Xander is being manipulated by Vanessa's attachment issues but I can see so much love in their eyes when they're with her. Xander loves so wholely and unconditionally that she lets Vanessa mistreat her. Vanessa seems to be delusional about how other people view her and her actions. She came into this experience believing Xander could only ever be attracted to and in love for her. She belived that her table apology would be received well. She was wrong both times. It's just all so goddamn messy.
Vanessa's father referring to Xander with their pronouns warmed my heart so much, speaking as someone with she/they pronouns and wouldn't know how to tell my partner's family my gender
I appreciate your take on Aussie. I see people saying Aussie should date a wall. People can be in relationships and be unhealed. As it is though I feel Sam deserves more.
Of course you can be unhealed and in a relationship. But to lack the basic consideration, awareness and accountability to the degree Aussie does is extremely destructive.
From the beginning I didn't feel like Mal wanted to marry Yoly and while everything she said sounds good, I thought was just excuses. It just crossed my mind now, when Yoly talked about Xander's financial plan, Mal was like "oh so it's about finances. I was wondering why you're so in love". Well why would Mal wonder tho? Didn't she aready say from beginning that Yoly falls in love easy? So why make it seem now like Yoly needs Xander's money to fall in love? Mal is the one who's being fake idc
I think Mal was saying that as another call out to Yoly not giving the full truth on her experience with Xander. Like Yoly was downplaying it all. However, I do agree that Mal didn't & still doesn't want to marry Yoly. Their relationship is like Vanessa/Xander in that they've been together so long, neither wants to walk away bc it feels like quitting. They don't want to admit that the relationship has run its course.
12:50 and this what makes me almost doubt Aussie’s outbursts cuz anytime Aussie is uncomfortable, Aussie runs. You’re right, hella immature. And that “mate” bs was weird af. Calling Sam’s valid and reasonable questions dumb was so annoying!
For the astrology girls we found the charts lol Yoly , Mal & Vanessa are Virgos . Xander is a Gemini …personal opinion Geminis and Virgos are not a match . I think Yoly and Xander are both validating each other in ways that they aren’t in their original relationships but Mal has a point …Yoly and Xander Do not know each other !
I hear you! I want Vanessa to grow so bad, but I really think she's just lying to herself as to what she really wants. If we're being honest this whole show is a hot mess of pick me pick me lol.... im here for it though =)
I believe nothing that Vanessa says or does. I am watching the show but I still do not believe Vanessa. She is here for a come up. Vanessa loves Vanessa only.
Vanessa makes me crawl in my skin. The way she treats Xander feels like DV. In later episodes there a scene wherein, even after they are on shaker ground and Xander is being reserved with her, Vanessa takes her to a location, makes her close her eyes and physically restrains her (masked as a playful hug). Vanessa surprises her with a solo hot air balloon ride (so Xander cannot get away), physically grabs Xander’s glasses off her face without asking permission and then forces her to sit through another pre-written monologue from 5,000 ft in the air. She physically cornered Xander and forced her to agree to her terms. I honestly felt physically ill. It isn’t overt, it’s covert, but it’s ab@se. I felt it in my gut. Vanessa is a monster. Sorry, I just had to say it.
I’ll admit I was the first passenger on the anti-Vanessa train but I feel like Vanessa is different now and we hate to admit but it took her seeing Xander wanting and longing for someone else for Vanessa to gain some perspective
Apparently, what she is doing is a form of love bombing. It isn’t sincere. She lost control of Xander, so she will do anything to get Xander back under her control. Think about what happened on the hot air balloon date. Vanessa put Xander in a position that they didn’t consent to (the date was a “surprise”) and where they 100% could not escape being cornered at 5,000 feet (high stakes, high adrenaline). And then she monologues a pre scripted letter essentially robbing Xander of her agency to refuse a reconciliation. I think it’s just scary how manipulative she actually is.
Vanessa’s dad was spot on. He knows that she doesn’t want marriage, she just wants to “win” Zander. 3 weeks ago she didn’t even care about having a long term relationship with her.
FACTS! & I don’t even think he was doing it to “call her out” - he said he use to be like that multiple times, so I feel like he was speaking to a younger version of himself…this is your ego & years from now you’ll realize that like I did type of way
@@UrbanDecayLova247 100% Plus this is her first queer relationship. She’s not ready to settle down.
I was so pleasantly surprised that he clocked it! He’s the healed version of Vanessa, a gem truly
The show Vanessa is putting on and the crocodile tears. I can’t with her
The thing w Aussie is that lots of people have baggage and we can have empathy for that but also Aussie is using that as an excuse to not take any responsibility and to treat others badly - I think that’s the point where it becomes unacceptable in a healthy relationship
She's Co dependant af
Oh my gosh I feel so deeply for Aussie! The episode where Aussie is sitting on the curb crying and suddenly experiencing the dawning of how deep the feeling goes and where it comes from. To me it read like Aussie had never fully made that connection before, which is huge and fragile and I really hope it plays out so there's space for it to get all the way unearthed and healed (hopefully in therapy and with a loving support system and maybe throw in some shrooms). And ALSO Sam is wonderful and a catalyst for good and doesn't deserve to be walked out on all the freaking time.
This is what confuses me, Mal said on episode 1 that Yoly is the type that can fall in love with anyone and she didn’t know what made her different. This is proving her point. Why did she propose to this woman?
I guess it is her ego like she said. I don’t get it either but it feels like Mal is floundering like Vanessa.
Fear of losing her more than love itself.
Apparently Tiktok is saying Vanessa and Mal are the same person in different fonts… maybe that’s it, the ego
@@TheQueenE I saw that. I don’t think they are. Vanessa went into this experiment not wanting to be married at all. Mal just wanted to be more financially secure before getting married. She never said she didn’t want it. She just wanted her money to be right.
@@Cloud-ql3oy I don’t think she is. I just don’t see how she doesn’t realize that Yoly is doing exactly what she said she was going to do.
Aussie was very passive-aggressive when she said "mate". It was a condescending tone and it was meant to hurt Sam
Absolutely!
💯
Aussie also did it to Mildred during their trial and acted confused when called out on it. I'm eager to hear Aussie"s reflections at the reunion. This show definitely served as a mirror.
All I can say about Aussie: you're not responsible for your trauma, but you are responsible for your healing.
Mal - STAND UP, do not get down on one knee for someone who isn't 100% sure about you. UGH. Mal please no. STOP THE CAMERA, RE-SHOOT THE SCENE.
If Vanessa wants to be with someone who's obsessed with her, Lexie is right there. Xander is running off with Yoly, bffr.
Exactly with Aussie! I do empathize with them, but they need to heal because they’re being their issues and taking it out on their partners. That’s not fair to Sam. Glad Sam stuck up for herself
I feel like Vanessa’s “growth” is just her being aware that everyone hated her and not wanting to look like the villain on tv. Basically, all an act
I feel the same. I can’t take anything she says seriously I feel like everything she does is so calculated
Agreed
I had to yell “STAN UP” when Mal got down on that knee.
I’m not mad at Mildred marrying for security. Security should factor in to a union. But her unwillingness to listen to Tiff and passing it off as a cultural thing-Nope!
Aussie needs therapy period. She is not in a proper emotional space to be a true partner. Aussie’s break down was heartbreaking. It feels like she was terribly abused.
Lexi’s personality is too strong for Rae. Rae needs to break free. Maybe run off with Sam?
Yoly and Xander need to run 18:33 off together. I’m not mad at Yoly for, again, wanting security. And the passion between the two of them is undeniable. It gives all the things-love, chemistry, and financial security!
Mal and Vanessa are kind of in the same boat. It took your partner falling in love with someone else for you to now suddenly take marriage seriously. Mal can do better. Pick someone who unreservedly picks you, boo! Vanessa just needs to go out there and live her best polyamorous life.
Love your reviews!!!!
Spot on
I agree with you 100%. But omg… can we discuss the Sam & Rae pairing?! How have I not considered mixing up more of the cast like this.
But if security reasons are enough to be
married, why isn't Mildred still married?
Did stability go out the door and then so did the marriage?
Marriage is for better or for worse.
Mal is the one that everyone is in love w this season. I'm straight and I'm like well damn, Mal's got it going on. Lol. She could have anyone honestly- and deserves someone who wants her fully ❤
@Miranda Golino lol I could really see it too now! That would be so cute ❤
It's crazy how Vanessa claimed Xander would be asexual without her meanwhile Xander is laying and slaying so much they should be sponsored by Gatorade.
Xander, in the conversation literally before the one in which Vanessa said they are basically asexual, admitted to being a fairly sexual person. Not sure if Vanessa is lying or what.
@@Monocultured01 I don’t think Vanessa is lying. I truly just think Vanessa is so into herself that she let herself believe that because Xander wants marriage and before this, Xander was the one doing the chasing in the relationship she truly thought that Xander only wanted her when Xander was just being a normal monogamous partner.
Xander just wants what they cannot have. This is immaturity. Took me long time to learn this lesson. If a high self esteem person doesn’t get needs met they leave fast. Xander just needs an attentive partner - period. Xander is the example of what I would consider a fantastic mate. They need to define what they need over what they think they want. I’m not absolutely sure but I don’t think neither Yoli or Van are best matches for Xander. It’s their choice I understand, and Yoli is def the better choice but I think Xander has something destined that is still to be discovered.
Why do I feel like mal and Lexi would have had a “thing” if Lexi was more open to it and not so engrossed with Vanessa…. Just my thoughts
I agree, her immaturity came out and it was a big turn off.
Mal probably picked up on her toxicity towards the end. She read her and knew she had to say everything Lexi wanted to hear to keep the peace
Yeah, I feel like the viewers got cheated a bit. Lol we deserve!
@@jadechaya9025 yea towards the end when Lexi said they were some sort of soulmates and she saw Mal in her life for a long time, Mal’s facial expression was off
Exactly!! They were talking about mixed race babies and saying I love you after like 3 days 😭
I don’t believe for one minute Vanessa has actually changed. I think she never thought there was the potential Xander would actually connect with someone so now she’s running scared.
The way I have been waiting for your recaps I'm feeling a little thirsty over here. I love your takes and the way you admit you don't know everything about the dynamics in a queer relationship. As a queer woman I'm here to say ✨️you're doing great sweetie ✨️
Mal’s friend is the goat with her reactions. Also she kept it 100 with both of them.
I’m surprised the way Lexi communicates with Rae wasn’t of note for you. In my opinion, she’s toxic and controlling. Rae needs to find her voice because I feel like that’s the core reason why she’s unsure if she wants to get married.
It felt like the same convo from last episode so I guess I glossed over it
Aussie seems exceptionally selfish . Her needs and feeling come first and everyone has to wait to discuss things on her terms. Sam needs to leave the relationship.
I can't stand lexi, she's awful to rae and no wonder rae ls not wifibg her up. She doesn't want to be controlled for the rest of her life.
Yes! She puts her down! And I went down that rabbit hole and apparently besides her only fans, she is something of a financial sector rockstar- merger and acquisitions senior consultant!
And apparently Rae is seen as less than being a software engineer? I feel so inadequate reading that and their ages lol
@@unicornL Don't feel inadequate. I get the feeling based on the way she talks around her parents that she's very privileged. Yes, you have to be very smart to get a job like that, but I'd be hard pressed to believe that she made it to that point at her age with no networking help from her parents.
I don't feel sorry for Aussie. Being with someone who doesn't deal with their own stuff is truly exhausting. People with baggage can totally be in relationships. We all have baggage. But if you don't deal with your own and dump it on your partner, it's only a matter of time the partner gets tired of putting up with it. We can be there for each other and "protect ourselves" but we are not meant to be therapists to our partners. Both persons needs should be considered and met. Aussie is the oldest (I think?) and they are so immature and selfish. I don't think they're the most horrible person ever, but they are a very self centred partner because they're stuck reliving trauma triggers as a child. And I am sure at least one person in their life has at least brought this up to them so this shouldn't be an epiphany for them if someone puts them in their place.
Aussie is 40 years old.
@@oliveyim5216 42.
@@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 oh god
@@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 Yeah, it's old enough to acknowledge they are responsible for bettering themselves. I would not be surprised if previous relationships also ended because of their "me me me me" mentality. Oddly enough, I think they'd do very well on first few dates knowing all the right things to say. Then when you actually get in a relationship with them, that's when their victim mentality fully explodes.
Another thing that bothered me about them ( I am a CIS straight woman so maybe I am coming from a place of ignorance) is how they equated not doing household duties because they are masc presenting. That would be a wonderful topic to dive into and explore in therapy for them. It's an interesting glimpse of what masculinity means to Aussie. And as a society and group that fight against gender bias, this is truly gender stereotyping in a sense. They need to do so much work on themselves and deconstruct so much.
Yes!! Ausse is bonded with her childhood abuse & trauma. So much so that when she acknowledges only receiving love from her grandmother, she HAD to excuse her parents in that same breath. It is completely unfair for Sam to take on the responsibility of therapist in her relationship!!!
Hi! 👋I'm asexual. Just wanted to comment on the asexual question you brought up. Asexual people aren't necessarily indifferent to sex, but experience little to no sexual attraction to others. So it's about attraction, not action.
Many asexuals want and do have sex (some don't as they are indifferent or repulsed). So Xander may still be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. They haven't said anything themselves about it yet, which makes Vanessa's comment even worse to me
Can't wait for June the 7th for the new episodes. Love your reviews.
Mal ISN'T a victim here. Neither is Yoly, they don't fit and u can tell they R different ppl. Money was just 1 of there problems so i dont get how ppl forgot that. Mal's ego is y after 3 yrs she's chasing Yoly. She has a problem with rejection and a need of validation. No shame alot of us do, but proposing to someone, telling u they r in love with Xander doesn't add up. I could tell they were emotionally not on the same page and the relationship had Run it's course.
I agree. When I first saw Mal's intro, I said it out loud she does not want to marry Yoly. Mal talks a good talk and ppl are falling for it, but Mal came into this saying she's not ready and she's still not ready. How does it make sense that Mal is ready now in 3 weeks when when nothing in her situation has changed?
@@melissasllew2527 yea well said. when my friends and I saw ep1 with Mal and Yoly we all were surprised that they were even a couple. There energy wasnt even in snyc.
I want to give %100 applause to the producers for making Mal and Yoly go first on Decision Day. Yoly KNEW Mal was going to propose regardless. Yoly doesn’t want to be alone but she doesn’t want Mal but she has to trust Xanders word of them running off together (I believe Xander will stay with Vanessa) which sucks for Yoly but I want Mal to find someone who wants Mal, not just companionship.
@@orangesunset9901 Yoly is on the show because she gave Mal the ultimatum. She wants more than just companionship or she wouldn't give the ultimatum. She wants marriage and a baby. Mal has been putting her off for 3 years. Probably Mal is the one who just wants companionship and not marriage, but is not being honest about it. She's only ready to propose now because she doesn't want to lose Yoly to someone else. Yoly deserves to find someone who wants not just companionship but who wants the same things and also wants it as badly as she does.
Mal asking Yoli fam for approval and proposing now ahead of getting Yoli decision just screamed manipulation to me.
QUEEN!!!! Girl what growth for Vanessa? Did we watch the same show😂. But yes her dad was ON POINT!!!
Maybe I’m tripping but I see it 😭😭
@@TheQueenE lol I’m putting my legit psych degree and my eyes to use. This woman hasn’t changed. Now Tiff I see growth. Vanessa is still the same person since day Omg
@@lolalucky89she's realising she's not the center if the universe. It's a start
Right?! All I see is fear and desperation in Vanessa at this point. She’ll go back to being her authentic self when the threat of losing Xander is gone.
@@aw4460 I talked to someone else about this because I too thought Vanessa is exactly the same. No growth. She’s too in love with herself. The person I talked to said she suspects that Vanessa incurred a narcissistic injury when Xander hooked up with someone else. Now, in order to regain control, Vanessa is love bombing Xander. When Xander gives in, Vanessa will resume the prior dynamic. It makes sense. Vanessa is the most toxic, self centered person I’ve seen on a reality show in a long time.
Personally, I don’t like the Xander/Yoly…mostly cause Xander reads as shady to me idk what it is. Also don’t have much fondness for Lexi, I get she’s probably feeling insecure because of Rae’s insecurities but the way Lexi drags Rae ain’t it 😒
Aussie…She needs tons of therapy. Sam didn’t do anything wrong and Aussie was taking out her trauma on Sam and it’s veering on abusive with how Aussie insults and dismisses sam.
I felt like Xander was very shady about the whole situation with Yoly and her when she was talking to Vanessa and other people. It rubbed me off the wrong way. Xander and Yoly definitely deserve each other in this regard.
I think it's because they still have to do some pretending to keep shooting content for the show. That's why Xander is playing along with Vanessa
I do get sneaky from Xander & idk if that's a side effect from being closely associated with Vanessa or if it's bc she's actually shady😂😂 I do get that she's kind of pretending with Vanessa or at least playing out the final days of her relationship with Vanessa bc it's on her face a lot of times. Like she gets this disgusted look, but masks it with tears lhh
I feel the same about Xander!
Yolys admission pissed me off, bc one of Mals reasons for NOT being ready to marry is she wanted to be prepared to be a provider. She wanted to build her money up, and Yoly made it seem like she didn’t care. Now all of a sudden “Xanders got her money right” and it’s a reason you’re choosing her???? Either she’s using Xanders finances as an excuse to choose her, or she always cared and obfuscated that concern w Mal.
Yoly did not agree with Mal that she needed to wait for her to build her money up. She wanted to marry Mal without it, Mal is the one who didn't want to.
Yoly and Xander came into this wanting marriage and babies like yesterday. It's a bonus that Xander has things in place. I don't know why Mal is making it seem like Yoly is just interested in the finances when Yoly was ready to marry her without it
@@melissasllew2527 I hear you, but that’s why I’m so confused! 😭 if she didn’t care, why was that one of the reasons she mentioned to Alicia and Mal, when she knows that was one of Mal’s insecurities in the first place? 😭😭
@@ndeat.5833 that was the best answer to the question they asked. They asked her something about if she's sure Xander is ready, well how much more ready can Xander be if she already has plans set in place for in vitro?
@@ndeat.5833 Yoly also brought up her age. I can see how for Yoly it's a decision between someone who's ready today and someone who isn't clear when they're going to be ready. Mal has been working on her finances for years; how much more is it going to take?
11:14 I don’t doubt that moment is real, but it’s always about Aussie. Like Aussie is taking Sam changing personal af, Aussie ends up blaming Mildred or their childhood, or on the fact that Sam had the audacity to change. It’s a lot.
Mildred is 100% the problem. At least Tiff is working on her stuff and able to acknowledge what’s wrong with their communication style. I genuinely think Mildred doesn’t think she has flaws
17:22 the way I thought this was so sweet at almost 40 and you’re like, you want a round 2?! 😂🤣😭😭
Mal and Vanessa are similar in that they both don’t want to lose. They both had valid concerns and stances that they’re now overlooking because their partners are interested in someone else.
When Mal said that Yoli falls in love with everyone, she meant that Yolo is opportunistic. If you want what Yoli wants, then Yoli wants you. Mal wants Yoli to want her for her. And she deserves that.
Yoli is in a quandary because she’s always chosen with her head and now her heart’s involved. Xander matches her vibe. Xander is romantic, has similar sex drive, and doesn’t need to be told what to do. Those two are compatible just as they are. It seems like there was a tediousness with Mal in that Yoli had to tell her or correct her before Mal gave her what she wanted or needed. (And when it came to sex, that wasn’t enough.)
I hope Mal realizes after this horrible proposal that she deserves to be chosen too and that she doesn’t need to earn anyone’s love.
I hope Yoli and Xander go for it. Vanessa’s dad clocked it correctly: Vanessa just doesn’t want to lose. Her newfound perspective doesn’t outweigh her narcissism. She uses her growth as bait to get Xander to choose her. She just wants Xander’s undivided attention.
Best comment here period. Very well informed, not based on personal feelings but on the FACTS. Well said
Spot on!
I like your breakdown, except I don't agree with the Yoly is opportunistic part. I can't see how that would be what Mal meant when Yoly was ready to marry Mal without the finances being in place. I feel like most everybody is overlooking that part when it's the whole reason they're on the show. Yoly wasn't wanting to wait for Mal to have finances in place or do anything to earn her love. She was willing to marry Mal as is.
Mal on the other hand, knows Yoly is gonna be in love with whoever she's with, so how does Mal realistically expect Yoly to prove that Mal is the one? Did Mal set a bar that she knows cannot be reached? 🤔
@@melissasllew2527 yea it's true Yoly isn't a sum gold digger. U wanting Fnancial stability before u have somebody's kid And for your kid is CORRECT.
It seems like the self-awareness gene skipped a generation for Vanessa
I'm so glad you decided to continue these recaps!
I see no hope for Tiffany or Mildred. Mildred's reason for wanting to get married and the way she communicates is in itself super problematic. Tiff has issues, but the way Mildred talks to her is upsetting and frustrating. Aussie is also blinded by her own selfishness and I do feel like it’ll end without them getting engaged. A lot of these people do not need this show, they need therapy.
Girl there is no way you’re buying Vanessa’s BS 😂😂 come on now Queen E!
I’ll admit I was the first passenger on the anti-Vanessa train but I feel like Vanessa is different now and we hate to admit but it took her seeing Xander wanting and longing for someone else for Vanessa to gain some perspective
Vanessa is simply love-bombing Xander to regain control of her. If you are buying it, it’s a sign you might be susceptible to that kind of manipulation.
Vanessa isn't different, she's insecure like any other narc who finally realizes the world doesn't revolve around them😂😂 remember she told us Xander was asexual outside of her literally 2 minutes after Xander confirmed she likes sex & 30 minutes b4 we saw her checking out titties & rubbing all on Yoly🤦🏽♀️🤣🤣🤣
Hey Queen E! I found your channel last week and binge watched all your review videos for this show. I really enjoy your take on things and love that you show so many clips! I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow! I hope Yoly and Zander choose each other, especially for the reason that I don't think Vanessa could ever give her the full commitment and stable life that Zander wants in a marriage with kids.
I agree I believed what Vanessa said too… but that’s still a lot going on
If Aussie can’t be willing to have accountability I agree sam should be ok to wish her the best and gtfo
Tiff's acceptance of Mildred's special needs son really made me love Tiff all the more. But I think Mildred needs to work on herself but that Tiff will end up choosing her and honestly- I think Tiff is better off without her. I hate saying that!
Also, I think Yoly is less chaotic than Vanessa and I liked that Xander pointed out that what she was getting from Mal was more friendship than love, and despite some red flags- I do want them together.
I wanted Lexi and Mal to hook up, and a part of me thought they did when Mal was talking about Lexi's body, etc- but, Lexi is obsessive over Rae and I think it's because that's who she discovered that she was gay w? Maybe I'm off there?
I really think that Sam deserves more than Aussie can give, and I can't be alone in saying all the friends from this season really wormed themselves into my heart ❤.
I think Mildred, Vanessa, and Aussie need to leave and seek therapy immediately. Actually maybe not Vanessa- maybe she needs to get into a fun throuple and call it good.
Vanessa was so mad her dad didn’t side with her she went and got rid of his nose lmao , peep the new one in the reunion 😭
See, people hate or discredit when people say marriage is a business but Yoly is over here choosing financial security over a 4yr relationship. Does Yoly love Xander ..sure I guess but she built and invested a life with Mal and she’s considering/ willing to walk away from it because someone else can give her the life she WANTS….call it what you want but she’s not the only woman making that decision….that decision is made all the time
It's unfair for ppl to paint Yoly as focusing only on the financials when Yoly was willing to marry Mal without the financial security. Mal is the one who wasn't ready. Yoly is connected to Xander on the basis that they came into this on the same page, wanting the exact same things. She only talked about Xander's finances, because Mal's friend asked if she's sure Xander is ready and she was making the point that Xander is ready and has money aside for invitro.
Mal is being disingenuous by saying oh so it's about the money, knowing full well that Yoly was wanting to marry her without all that.
Vanessa isn't as bad as everyone thinks, she's just got foot on mouth disease and is a bit in her fantasy about herself. She's an easy target to hate but the true villains (lexi and yolly) are far more insideous. Yolly is a gaslighter and lexi treats Rae like her property.
We haven’t forgotten the “They would be asexual if not for me” comment
@@GigiofGigi didn't she say zander had said that to her... She's vain and a ditz but she's not malicious.
She actually checks all the boxes of narcissism. If you don’t pick up on those traits and you are seriously giving Vanessa the benefit of the doubt despite all the glaring red flags, I really suggest looking into it so you will be aware if you ever encounter a narcissist yourself.
@@MJ-gm7km lexi is the narc dude, she's angry Controlling and very mean spirited
shes a textbook narcissist lol
Aussie is not in a place to be in a healthy relationship right now. Aussie needs therapy. Weekly. It’s ok to have baggage, because everyone has baggage at that age but you need to be actively working on it.
People get married for security all the time. Heck, people get married for insurance. I think it's important for Tiff and Mildred to be clear about each other's reasons. It seemed like Tiff was being intentionally obtuse when Mildred was saying what she has with Tiff is different IMO
I feel like Aussie can't accept her flaws. She justifies her mistakes by saying she is trying her best and doesn't take accountability for her actions. She's 40 years old but acts 19. She's just so self centered that it's really irritating. I also feel like Sam doesn't accept that her actions hurt Aussie because she believes that as Aussie's girlfriend she already supports Aussie so much that any of her own flaws are justified. It's just not a healthy dynamic, they make each other miserable.
This is a wildly unpopular opinion but I started off not liking Yoly AT ALL and now she's one of my favourites. I feel so bad for her. I know what its like to fall in love with somebody when you're both in relationships. She didn't choose to fall in love with Xander. My heart is also breaking for Mal. Girl deserves so much better than to be beg for love from someone who can't give it.
Xander is being manipulated by Vanessa's attachment issues but I can see so much love in their eyes when they're with her. Xander loves so wholely and unconditionally that she lets Vanessa mistreat her. Vanessa seems to be delusional about how other people view her and her actions. She came into this experience believing Xander could only ever be attracted to and in love for her. She belived that her table apology would be received well. She was wrong both times.
It's just all so goddamn messy.
Vanessa's father referring to Xander with their pronouns warmed my heart so much, speaking as someone with she/they pronouns and wouldn't know how to tell my partner's family my gender
I appreciate your take on Aussie. I see people saying Aussie should date a wall. People can be in relationships and be unhealed. As it is though I feel Sam deserves more.
Of course you can be unhealed and in a relationship. But to lack the basic consideration, awareness and accountability to the degree Aussie does is extremely destructive.
From the beginning I didn't feel like Mal wanted to marry Yoly and while everything she said sounds good, I thought was just excuses. It just crossed my mind now, when Yoly talked about Xander's financial plan, Mal was like "oh so it's about finances. I was wondering why you're so in love". Well why would Mal wonder tho? Didn't she aready say from beginning that Yoly falls in love easy? So why make it seem now like Yoly needs Xander's money to fall in love?
Mal is the one who's being fake idc
I think Mal was saying that as another call out to Yoly not giving the full truth on her experience with Xander. Like Yoly was downplaying it all. However, I do agree that Mal didn't & still doesn't want to marry Yoly. Their relationship is like Vanessa/Xander in that they've been together so long, neither wants to walk away bc it feels like quitting. They don't want to admit that the relationship has run its course.
12:50 and this what makes me almost doubt Aussie’s outbursts cuz anytime Aussie is uncomfortable, Aussie runs. You’re right, hella immature. And that “mate” bs was weird af.
Calling Sam’s valid and reasonable questions dumb was so annoying!
Yoli's gonna say no I bet and I think her crying at the outro is her crying over the loss of Mal, but accepting that she wants Xander fully
For the astrology girls we found the charts lol Yoly , Mal & Vanessa are Virgos . Xander is a Gemini …personal opinion Geminis and Virgos are not a match . I think Yoly and Xander are both validating each other in ways that they aren’t in their original relationships but Mal has a point …Yoly and Xander Do not know each other !
Oh hell no! 🥴
@@WilliamsPinch i thought for sure Yoly and Xander was going to be water signs but I’ve been proven wrong before
I hear you! I want Vanessa to grow so bad, but I really think she's just lying to herself as to what she really wants. If we're being honest this whole show is a hot mess of pick me pick me lol.... im here for it though =)
7:44 yeah no, I’m not falling for anything she says. I just don’t get anything genuine from her.
Aussie is sooo fkkn weird to me . I fast forward her parts d anything with Rae and Vanessa
I believe nothing that Vanessa says or does. I am watching the show but I still do not believe Vanessa. She is here for a come up. Vanessa loves Vanessa only.
Exactly
Thank you! cannot agree more!!! I think she’s so in love with herself, she’s dangerous to other people.
Is Aussie my husband? Because damn 🥴
Bro, that's men. They think thier feelings and triggers are the center of the universe
husband? did you mean ex husband?
Skip couple's therapy and just get divorced girl
Vanessa makes me crawl in my skin. The way she treats Xander feels like DV. In later episodes there a scene wherein, even after they are on shaker ground and Xander is being reserved with her, Vanessa takes her to a location, makes her close her eyes and physically restrains her (masked as a playful hug). Vanessa surprises her with a solo hot air balloon ride (so Xander cannot get away), physically grabs Xander’s glasses off her face without asking permission and then forces her to sit through another pre-written monologue from 5,000 ft in the air. She physically cornered Xander and forced her to agree to her terms. I honestly felt physically ill. It isn’t overt, it’s covert, but it’s ab@se. I felt it in my gut. Vanessa is a monster. Sorry, I just had to say it.
✨🫶🏽💃🏻✨
I’ll admit I was the first passenger on the anti-Vanessa train but I feel like Vanessa is different now and we hate to admit but it took her seeing Xander wanting and longing for someone else for Vanessa to gain some perspective
Apparently, what she is doing is a form of love bombing. It isn’t sincere. She lost control of Xander, so she will do anything to get Xander back under her control. Think about what happened on the hot air balloon date. Vanessa put Xander in a position that they didn’t consent to (the date was a “surprise”) and where they 100% could not escape being cornered at 5,000 feet (high stakes, high adrenaline). And then she monologues a pre scripted letter essentially robbing Xander of her agency to refuse a reconciliation. I think it’s just scary how manipulative she actually is.