Why Our Future Depends On Parents | The Lila Rose Podcast E114
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- čas přidán 27. 07. 2024
- Today I sit down with Melissa Kearney, professor of Economics and author of Two Parent Privilege, to discuss the privileges attached to coming from households with two married parents. As the world blames a myriad of issues as the cause of the mess of our culture, Melissa Kearney believes that the most foundational problem lies in the way our society values the stability of family life. We discuss the eye-opening statistics of the differences in outcomes between those who come from intact families and those who don’t, what our government should do to encourage stable marriages, how our communities should support those in tough economic circumstances, and more.
Check out Melissa's work here: econweb.umd.edu/~kearney/meli...
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Timestamps:
00:00 Intro Sequence
00:30 Introduction
01:35 Welcome Melissa
01:55 Why She Wrote "Two Parent Privilege"
02:49 How She Got Into "Family Structures"
04:25 Good Ranchers
05:28 Differences in Outcomes in Children With or Without Both Parents
08:29 Income
13:48 Two Parent Advantage
17:30 Seven Weeks Coffee
18:31 Is Cohabitation Helpful?
23:48 How The Trends Came to Be
30:37 Nimi Skincare
31:25 Helping Couples Overcome Barriers
34:52 What Policies Should We Employ to Help Families?
38:55 "If We Make It Easier We Will Undermine Marriage"
44:12 Every Life
45:03 The Right Way To Give Resources
46:50 Should The Government Prioritize Better Maternity Leave?
51:24 The Ideal For Raising Children
57:10 Should Mothers and Fathers Be Treated Differently
58:57 Where To Find Melissa's Work
59:34 Wrap Up
I love the information presented, but was disappointed at the cowardice of Melissa to acknowledge that mothers and fathers have unique, irreplaceable roles. She’s knows the truth, but backed out in fear. Can’t wait to see more research come out in the future about the roles of mothers and fathers.
I am a college educated stay at home mom! We see the development of our child as the most important thing. Also if I worked I would have been unable to breastfeed my son for over a year. Therefore putting my child second to a job. It just isn’t worth it for us.
She says this is beneficial: “Married parents spend more time with their kids than unmarried parents bc the unmarried parents have to work and spend less time with their children”
Wouldn’t it follow that if a mother stays home with their child or has a flexible work arrangement where she spends more time with her child there’d be better outcomes?
I echo what many others have said: her body language was very tense in the end and I could tell she was uncomfortable being pressed on the questions Lila asked. She had great data to share, and that part of the interview was intriguing. She fell short of saying what we all know and don’t need studies for- men and women are different, and children crucially need their mothers in those beginning years.
I mean in Melissa’s defence she said that it’s not her area of expertise, and she’s not sure what the data says-not that “No there’s no support for a mother being home more in the early years.” It make a lot of sense though how married families are better off because children just get more of everything; time, resources, emotional support and parents are more likely to stick it out through the challenges of raising a family when they go into it seeing it as a commitment. I’m so grateful that in Canada I was able to stay home with both my boys for 18 months (and also with my first when I was on mat leave with his baby brother), receive a portion of my salary during that time (by using my employment insurance that everyone working pays into), also get child tax benefit based on income (I receive about $872 a month), and $10 a day child care recently in my province-so I can actually afford to work part time, now that I’ve been back at work. Obviously no policy is perfect-but as a middle income family, with everything else going up-it truly helps!
Melissa's whole tone shifted at the end. You could see in her body language, tone, and facial expressions how frustrated, angry, and defensive she was becoming. Good job on Lila remaining calm and firm with her questions. Also thought it was humorous how Melissa just kind of shut down and refused to say anything and then was like "oops time to go".
I think her tone changed because she was being pushed to comment on things she hadn’t done research on. Melissa came to speak on two parent privilege, not to be pressed on other factors.I think we need to be careful not to put words into people's mouths. Thanks for all you do Lila! I plan to read Melissa's book now.
Her responses at end of the conversation are why conservatism alone is not enough to recover the family and traditional virtues/values/morals. There must be a return to Christian marriage and family.
I would love for larger companies to have more part time roles for moms/ dads with young children. As an IT professional, it would be nice to do my current work, but just part time, but mostly in higher paying jobs part time
Isn’t a thing.
Thank you Lila for giving Dr. K the space to provide her opinions even though they did not completely align with your own at the end. Married SAHM of 4 and part time veterinarian here. Really appreciate your work and conversations.
Lila, I love it! Cash credits for married families with children ❤ let's encourage good lifestyle changes!!
or unmarried but together?...
If you haven't yet, please have Dr. Jennifer Morse on your podcast!! She will speak to all you were getting at throughout this interview and especially at the end.
Lila is always coming up with gems. 💎
Just imagine what a stable environment we could have for children with 2 married parents and other family members living in close proximity, whether that me in a seperate but close dwelling or the same home. So much less stress and enough time and emotional bandwith to go around for all the children. Plus if a parent dies, that is able to be buffered by the prescence of grandparents and other family members.
I appreciated Melissa’s insight at 54:25. I agree with her that we need to put the horse in front of the cart first. Too many women and men are hesitant to marry and start families because of careers and economic instability. We’re facing a crisis of replacing the next generation and need to fix the very foundation of society. It’s a much larger issue than whether women should work or not. Let’s make sure people are getting married and having kids in the first place.
Trueeeeeee
Let couples negotiate gender roles between themselves. Not everyone is going to be trad and let the men and women pick the lifestyle they want with their spouse. I agree with you, promoting families is way more important than whether mom has a job or not. Let the individual couple decide that stuff
Her attitude was very different in the end...
FYI, we love good ranchers! Subscribed to 3 yrs now. 😊
Awesome!
Yes & amen. So appreciate your thoughts, especially at the end. Thank you
I totally agree with Lila! 🙏✝️❤️ 💙💗💙💗💙💗🙏✝️❤️
My son will be one in a few weeks. I work full time from home with a very flexible job by comparison to anyone I know. I'm an engineer and bring in half our income. We currently have my parents watch my son two days and a nanny at the house three days. I'd love to be a SAHM but it just doesn't make sense to give up my income given my circumstance. I'm still breastfeeding and my son has a great relationship with my parents and the nanny (still prefers me but doing well so far on thoughtful transitions). I know this won't be possible for most people but if you think about what you want to do and make it likely it will be family friendly then you can get some kind of balance. Nursing would be my second choice if I were to go back as much more part time options. Staying an individual contributor and turning down management tracks has helped a lot.
Thank you sister Lila and sister Melissa, our elders in Christ. God bless you brothers and sisters out there who love Christ like me and my hubsand do.
Those who have a college degree have mortgage level college loan repayment
You should also check Dr Fernando Pliego’s book, he is a Mexican sociologist who made a meta study about this topic, his book is also in English and free on his page. It’s such an important topic!
Thanks I’ll check his work out!
I am a husband and father. I agree we should not shy away from the truth that women have more to offer very young children.
I barely just found out about you and can honestly say I hope to find a woman with your beliefs and mindset some day.
It's because she's connected to the University, so she's restrained wrt the gender differences issue at end.
That makes sense. Thank you for the insight.
As a step parent...lol oh I have lots to say on this...and I love how she does says people that are together with the person they made a kid with are either just not a thing or the chance is high they end...I think we have a lot more folks co habitating but not marrying, esp if one of those is a step parent...lol
Amen and amen.
A CZcamsr named Zack D Films made a short on how conception works! He’s the animation guy who sometimes makes CURSED shorts tho ☠️
This is almost unbearable for me to listen to, go straight to it. The government convinced women they don't need a man, they can do fine married to the government. Marriage is not valued. That's the problem, not socioeconomic advantage
Melissa is a coward and she won’t change a damn thing. Loved everything up until the end and her mask was removed. she is being told by someone above her that she can not talk about how the role of a mother is different than a father because it goes against the huge picture of gender ideology and I can see in her face when she shut down that she told her self “I’m not being cancelled today” and that’s the attitude I can’t stand with people. Don’t be an advocate for change but then filter your responses due to a larger agenda. It’s sickening and it needs to stop
You need heal You tears stop crying hard times Just make though the bad part there new storm coming across Texas Make space for Love peace and happiness it the world not the partnership there hope but there always New devil / Hidden mountains somewhere Self-love pick yours tears up everything going be okay there won't be none rapture