Avoid These 10 Mistakes in Your Conversations!
Vložit
- čas přidán 4. 06. 2024
- 10 common mistakes gentlemen should avoid when having conversations: gentl.mn/mistakes-in-conversa...
#conversation #mistakes #notsponsored
SHOP THE VIDEO:
→ Caramel & Dark Burgundy Shadow Stripe Socks: gentl.mn/caramel-dark-burgund...
GUIDES YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS:
→ What It Means To Be A Gentleman Today: gentl.mn/gentleman-means-today1
→ Speak Like A Gentleman: gentl.mn/speak-like-a-gentleman1
→ How To Overcome Social Anxiety & Have A Great Conversation: gentl.mn/how-to-great-convers...
→ Body Language Etiquette: gentl.mn/body-language-etique...
→ How To Get To Know Someone: gentl.mn/get-to-know-someone1
VIDEO CREDITS:
→ Script: E.J. Daniels & Preston Schlueter
→ Camera: Chris Dummer
→ Editing: Lukas Mooney
→ Visual Supervision: Preston Schlueter
→ Gramercy Pictures
→ Warner Bros. Entertainment
→ Paramount Pictures
→ Brooksfilms
→ Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios
→ Walk Disney Company
Want to see more videos? Subscribe to our channel!
→ gentl.mn/youtube
Become a part of the Gentleman's Gazette community - support us on Patreon!
gentl.mn/patron
Want to join our team? View our open positions:
gentl.mn/work-with-us
________________________________________________________________________
Gentleman's Gazette
gentl.mn/GG-websitehomepage4
gentl.mn/FB-classicaccessories4
Facebook: / gentlemansgazette
Gentleman Quiz: gentl.mn/gentlemanquiz-signup4
00:00 Conversation Mistakes Introduction
If Michel de Montaigne (Mee-shell deh Mohn-tahn-ya) is correct that “The most fruitful and natural exercise for our minds is … conversation”, then we expect the modern gentleman to be a good conversationalist.
We do want to be clear that this video is not meant as an attack on people who find conservation difficult to make or follow. In particular, neurodivergent individuals like those with autism. Our only desire is to provide you with the tools to help improve your confidence while making conversation.
02:36 10 Mistakes in Your Conversations: 1. Not Paying Attention
04:04 2. Getting Your Phone Involved
06:08 3. Using Outdoor Voices Indoors
07:33 4. Interrupting Others
09:31 5. "Bulldozing" Others
10:55 6. Being A "Brick Wall"
12:40 7. Employing Antisocial Body Language
13:52 8. Overusing Small-Talk
15:00 9. Engaging In One-Upmanship
16:20 10. Not Reading The Room
17:41 One More Word
We also hope it goes without saying that a gentleman should never engage in conversation that unfairly demeans, degrades, or insults anyone. It should never be shocking and upsetting.
18:28 Conclusion
Armed with these ten rules we hope that you’ll feel empowered to really showcase your wit and charm. Avoiding these mistakes will ensure the excellence of your conversation. For as Somerset Maugham said, "Conversation is one of the greatest pleasures in life”.
19:20 Outfit Rundown - Jak na to + styl
Preston keeps glowing up dude
Ikr, it's so not fair
You cannot deny the truth!
We all are proud of him 😊
What about Raphael though? He's become the perfect blend of Cary Grant and Bond villain. Absolutely pitch- perfected their appearances, these gents.
I once had a grumpy manager. I always improved things by asking about her children. This worked every time. M.
My father is hard of hearing, and combined with my autism, it took me years to learn when to be loud and when not. I am not loud to be rude, but to be heard when conversing with my father
I am autistic and I have to say these tips are golden for people like me, it's good to see stright to the point advice in these times.
I gotta say your acting is impeccable and hilarious, Preston!
Keep up with this type of video. How to deal with people in the gentlemanly manner is always helpful.
"Oh! Preston made the funniest pun on the Gentleman's Gazette the other day".
Do you even have the slightest idea how every little that narrows it down.
Keep up the great work. I'm terrible in conversation, about 50% of the time. I'm always working on it.
This channel’s videos about manners, etiquette, etc. are always great.
"My idea of good company, Mr. Elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."
"You are mistaken," said he gently; "that is not good company; that is the best. ~ Jane Austen, "Persuasion".
This is nice, but often doesn't apply to today's World when all information change by each minute. The conversation in companies could be used to get informed, because people have different knowledge. The company can still be powerful and people can still enjoy working there - it depends on them.
@@kleniiiiI think you mistook their meaning- "company" in that quote refers to those other people around you, not a business.
How I love this intro 😍
There's an Irish saying about speaking so wonderful that when you tell someone to go to 🤬 they would actually look forward into going there.😜🤣😂.
Raphael in the video cover is telling Preston he's a good fella and he'd be really sorry if an accident happens to him
These are good tips for anyone to follow. Thank you!
I must say your channel is doing a noble service.
Thanks! I’ll be applying some of these!
Just wanted to say that the casual beard and swoopy hair look is very dashing. Looking good!
Great video! I wish I saw this video when I was in college.
Great topic. My personal problem in conversation, I need to work on is rather difficult. My internal voice/mind always tends to complete every sentence of my counterpart and keeps on doing it, because Iam right most of the time.
Great tips!
One thing that I’ve been working on is not to formulate my next comment while the other is still speaking. I’m sincerely trying to focus on what is being said. Call it the art of listening. Seems to improve the conversation. 🎩 Thank you for the videos.
Excellent observation; thank you, Yahya
I've seen my husband randomly scroll through his phone right in the middle of a conversation. He doesn't get that it's rude & shows he's disinterested.😡
Meanwhile, I'm reading the comments while listening to the video...
@@michaelmireles1307 Same here! 🤣👍🏼
Interruptions and bulldozing are major peeves of mine. I will entirely leave conversations if this happens, and clearly state why.
Here is my problem : you are talking to someone who is bulldozing and goes on for half an hour saying all his thoughts experiences and ideas. You as a polite man you try to listen and wait for the endless monologue to finish BUT buy the time it eventually does what you wanted to say is already forgotten! Happens sadly to often. So you just end up by saying something like 'yes you are right'.
What can be the appropriate solution to stop this boring patience robbing monologue that doesn't give you a chance to express yourself?
I seem to suffer the same problem. And when you do finally get a word in, it's exactly that, a word, then you get interrupted by another monologue.
I agree it's a big problem
If you are in a group, suggest that someone else may be interested in speaking before the evening is over. Hopefully, the blowhard will get the message.
Personally , I raise my hand and I manage to draw attention most of the times . I am in no position to know if or how this is going to work out for you , but I am just making a suggestion . Feel free to follow your own instincts if you disagree with my suggestion !
@@user-vl7ys6us1m should work depending on the stubbornness of the bellows
My biggest difficulty in group conversations is knowing when there's space for me to speak... If I have on-topic input that I want to share that doesn't detract from the conversation as a whole, too many times I try to share my thoughts only to be bulldozed because the previous speaker took a full second and a half to continue their apparently incomplete thought.
Love your shirt today Preston!
Thanks for this. It will be really useful for autistics, and so I've shared it on my facebook aspie channel (if that's okay)
Thank you, Jan - we're glad to be of service!
Hey Preston, missed you!
What I find amusing is the idea that even in the United States the 'Pork Pie Hat' is referred to still as a Pork Pie Hat when about 99.99999999% of Americans would have absolutely no clue whatsoever what a pork pie even looked like. A pork pie being a traditional English dish, more specifically from Melton Mowbray in Leicestershire.
Personally I don't eat pork so I would not eat a pork pie, but I do know what they look like.....
good video, this reminds me of the conversation I was having during my 3 month vacation to Europe where I was talking about battlefield wounds and flanking maneuvers, hold on I'm not done, so as I was saying... lol
"Louder isn't always lovelier " something I've been trying to communicate to my husband for YEARS.
Had to laugh at the Bulldozing. My mother has a friend who will dominate a conversation, even when she's not even in it. Her family used to come to our house after church on Christmas Eve and it was basically my parents hosting a visit between her and her two daughters. I was friends with her son and we'd be trying to talk and my Dad would be trying to talk to her husband and no one else could be heard over her and her daughters
I always get some people automatically start yawning when I start my turn in a conversation. It isn't my tone or how I word things or if im boring but I noticed some people just automatically start yawning when they're not in active talk mode and need to actively listen.
I usually do these things when people are rude to me. 😂
preston with facial hair got me acting up
,Some do speaking only 1 way. Loud and proud, we all lnow such a person
Another one with phones: if there is music playing, don't take out your phone and start playing other music. I can't count the amount of times people have done this at my house. It's almost never actually relevant to anything, they mostly just seem to decide they want to listen to that song. Over the top of the album I am playing.
You play albums? Lol.
@@johnclaybaugh9536 as do all actual music fans
@@adama7774 nah. I've lost everything three times in my life. I'm not investing in albums anymore.
Although, there are many that U listened to as a teenager that I still remember all the songs, in order.
But I guess some people think one has to be rich and privileged to be a music fan. Thankfully, that's nowhere near true.
@@johnclaybaugh9536 rich and privileged? What drugs are you on?
@@adama7774 how much money does it take to own albums?
As I said, I lost everything own multiple times.
But I'm definitely a music fan. Heck, I spent a thousand dollars on a concert last summer.
This concise guide is very well done, thank you for this simplification of etiquette rules !
But what I mostly learned from this small course on conversational politeness is how to manifest one’s lack of interest or disapproval about a conversation or a person : do not pay attention at the other person, look at your phone and do not say anything. Then when you stop looking at your phone just interrupt them and go on and on while sublty belittling the other individual and their achievments.
Preston is a inspiration for me.!!
Also that is the name of a restaurant in Houston Alabama. It's name is The talk of the Town.
There are "no rules for good conversation" (Cicero) if and only if you happen to be the Emperor
Wow 😳 Preston what a glow up ♥️♥️♥️♥️🥰🥰♥️🥰♥️🥰
Number 8! I avoid any small talk if possible.
In a business dining conversation with 10 ppl, What to do when one of the conversation partner has done with his meal and asking few questions to me...But I haven't done yet..Skipping eating and talking with them will make them await so long as there is so much food in the table for me...
Also I am a slow eating person 😅😅..If I delay eating it will make the whole team to wait for me...If I skip the talking & continue eating I might have missed a fruitful conversation as they came from abroad to have one on one conversation with my local team & casually stay for one week or so...
Please suggest to not make any awkward thing 😬
WOW, Preston, looks like you are growing a beard. Unless i am called it correctly. Great video as always
You listen because it might benefit you and you want to listen not because out of fear.
That would automatically defeat the whole point of a conversation aka being equal in something.
How about some principles when you have to attend court, and how to behave towards a Judge.
I appreciate the Berlin style of Conversation more transparency and clarity. Americans are taught it lie .
You must be looking forward to make a guide about suspenders
I think interrupting someone depends on the situation, and there are cases when not interrupting others are really bad.
People have different knowledge, view and feeling. There are some types of conversations which are like X talks 10 minutes, them Y responds in 10 minutes, but mostly we're in proactive activity. If someone keeps talking for 5 minutes constantly, but I know something else which would mark his base thought false, and I can prove it / have the correct information, then waiting 5 minutes once I know that it's useless is not kind. What would I do if I'd not interrupt him but would wait to finish him? Sorry, it was totally waste from you to talk to 5 minutes, because considering [new information], you're wrong, and it's not going to happen, so here's what we can do instead.
This is really important in job (IT). Each team member's knowledge is different, everyone works on a bit different part of the project. When I try to explain why I'm going to do this task like X, but someone knows that Y is also needed, my X plan is no longer correct, so we have to create a new plan together. This is called teamwork. Proactive conversation is the most important part of the good teamwork.
I think you should've empharize that by interruptions you likely meant not acting as "hey I don't care what you're talking about even if you're right, and I'm better (at least I say so) you must listen to me instead". Even in team meetings, there are cases when waiting for someone other to finish is the best option. Later, I can say that "thanks for sharing your thoughts. Until now I thought it should be done as [...], but your plan seems to be better for me / why do you think yours is better?"
It may be irritating, yes, I can feel it sometimes, but not because I got interrupted, but the fact that the other party uses his power, he would not want to know why I think my opinion is better, and would not explain me why it isn't, meaning he doesn't care about my knowledge level, and doesn't want me to be able to learn. If he just says that "no, we'll do what I said", I will feel bad.
In a good team, we want to find the best way to do X. But we don't have unlimited time to be able to let anyone say what they want, them talk about why what they told are incorrect and then start the cycles again. Having a longer meeting than a hour is also irritating. Even worst if we cannot have a good agreement after one hour, because we don't have enough time for planning or talking. I can always keep speaking for hours. And I'm sure they're not interested in that.
Just pay attention, and know others. These are always important. I like to raise my hands to signal that I have something important to say, and when they notice it, I continue speaking. This is like a request for acceptance, and I trust them in that they also trust me in that what I'd say is very important, and it's better to listen to me.
Thank you for your thoughts on interruptions - indeed, interruptions can be different in a casual vs. a professional conversation. Hopefully, if everyone displays courtesy while conversing, it will ensure a smooth and enjoyable discussion for all involved.
I'd have loved this even without the Lebowski reference
You look great with facial hair!
I'm not going to lie I constantly take out my phone during conversations to show someone something I got to stop doing it
We do it to be relatable and it's a common mistake, i did it yesterday and had to apologize for it
Showing someone something is far better than showing just yourself something, even if it is topic-related (like checking dates from Wikipedia articles).
i always find it best to try and bring them over to the right side of politics.
Which side is that? There's the side where the president claimed we were building the wall in various states, including Colorado, or there's the other side where it appears that the president is shaking hands with Casper.
I think we should throw it all away and start over.
Very good Preston 😊
I HIGHLY recommend Leil Lownde's book How to Talk to Anyone. She gives concrete tips that are really helpful!
Keep the beard Preston! You look great!
Everyone of you gentlemen are wonderful to watch. I 💕 the channel and tell as many men I know to view this excellent channel.
Thank you for spreading the word! 😄
You listed them well but offered very little in terms of solutions. For instance how to deal with someone that bulldozes or interupts etc.
Su voz me relaja.
The minimal beard makes my homeboy here look great! You shall keep it
I had a pair of loafers like that once, they were one of my favorite types of shoes (probably from a different company as I am cheap).
I dig the beard, Preston
Also, that striped shirt is killer
The thumbnail looks like one of those terrifying AI generated images of cartoons in real life: Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.
I really appreciate how above-and-beyond the GG team goes at being inclusive in your videos. I've noticed it a lot more over the last year, and it's wonderful to see!
Preston keep exploring with facial hair! Looking quite natty sir!
U can't be more cautious about wearing a casual dress 😮
No way the big lebowski made its way onto this channel 😂
Dang Preston you like Dad today? HUH! DOES THIS MEAN?
Well said.
Could we also see a video that contains both greeting someone in your place and going to someones place and be a proper guest
Bro sounds like the Tik Tok narrator 💀
I think you may be running out of topics, all this goes without saying.
Missed a golden rule of conversation: Avoid discussing politics, religion, philosophy or other controversial topics.
@@anotheryoutubeaccount5259 "Everything else" is not something people can talk about. Be more specific.
@@anotheryoutubeaccount5259 That's exactly what I'm talking about. Every time someone says "we can talk about everything" there is nothing we can talk about, because the answer is "I don't know", "I don't care", "you can choose anything", which is not an interesting topic. A good conversation requires two parties to be interested in the topic. If the first one can't say anything good, the other cannot continue it, and the conversation won't continue. So the starting point cannot be "let's talk about everything" because for sore people won't start talking about everything. This is mentioned in the video: talking to a wall is not good.
Do you mean controversial topics like the next ‘C++’ standard?
No matter what one is talking about there will be someone who tries to make it political. For instance, every time a store runs out of something it's Biden's fault.
And at the same time most people didn't blame Trump when every store in town ran out of toilet paper.
Lol this guy is totally the life of the party definitely take this advice seriously
Unshaved Preston…😮why the change?
I noticed in the video, the small beard let’s Preston appear less skinny, specially when I see him from the side. Perhaps he can keep it.
These guys wear a tuxedo when showering.
You're just envious of their wardrobe.
Mind numbingly reductive.
This chanel is so politically correct that sometimes is a bit boring
What in the world are you going on about?
You think you can prove Plato wrong fool
bro a gentleman is also strong, u should hit the gym also 😂
Does anyone else find it adorable this awkward nerd is trying to teach us about outgoing conversational skills? lol
Why is this guy talking like this lol
shave the facial hair. In all charity, it takes away from your look.