Historically Accurate Hercules
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- čas přidán 22. 07. 2022
- Hercules accurately crushes his enemies.
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Hercules - Tom
Asceplius - Don - Komedie
I hear only the biggest of chads with the tiniest of peckers would even DARE watch the drawing video where all this was brain-stormed. Does that sound like you? czcams.com/video/F80iU2Q0Jy8/video.html
Do The Little Mermaid.
Gotta support the troglodyte Quasi babee!
E
Ok
1:50 The timing was a stroke of Genius men.
As a student of ancient history I would like to point out that this is in fact *NOT* historically accurate, as most of the ancient Greek people tended to not speak fluent english.
What about the subject? As possibly the statues made them smaller to not be a distraction
Balderdash I say! We all know that all ancient Greeks spoke with an American accent, just as all Ancient Romans spoke with a British one. This is indisputable historical fact sir!
About the subject men with bigus dickus were considered inferior and unintelligent.
@@CameroonyoTheFirst Definitely the other way around. The Greeks should be the Brits and the Romans should be the Americans. Better parallels.
Uuuuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhh
Who the fuck gave captain obvious his powers back?
Must of been Admiral Hindsight
"like a baby's finger holding a blueberry!" Man just makes it sound so majestic
@@JackNapierRisus whatever you wish for my child
The best part is the following, self-satisfied “Hmmm.” right afterwards.
Well I mean why wouldnt it be? Hes the son of Zeus. He should only get the best
"if I chop off its head will three more take its place?"
Whoever made that joke is genius
Hail hydra
@@blackpotatomaster hail Typhon father of hydra
Normally I’d say that Hercules was in the wrong, however I’d have to agree with Hercules and say that he has the perfect size and in fact it probably is a little bigger than normal size, and it has a very humorous personality.
Don't worry my brother in Christ I understand what you're saying. I know your pain. Smol pp gang for life king😂
Dw bro yours will grow, you'd be seen as a demi god in those times so don't feel bad about it
K lol?.
Lol xd ?
@@rantingsofamadman9796 big dawg delete this
Once again, more accurate than the History Channel dares to be.
🤨
Aliens
@@vexxama Ancient
"Is Jesus secretly an Alien from Mars?"
"The History Channel, where the Truth, is history"
"Like a baby finger holding a blueberry" I'm in tears! Lol
I was already laughing, then I started choking!!! Lmao
Yeah I pretty much died at that one. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm posting from Hades
Reminds me of that Key and Peele skit were the gay guy said "Like a babies arm holding an apple:
@@louie2747 that's exactly what I thought, I'm sure these guys got the joke from that too lmao
Diiiiied hahahahahhahahhah🤌🏼😂😂😂
Fun fact: Heracles actually killed megera after being driven insane by Hera, then he did the 12 labors to make up for it
We know!
Just saying
@@jvanimation9520 I KNOW... you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept.
@@magallanesagustin4952 i understood that reference!
I made this comment for people who didn’t know btw
lol the fact that Asclepius is the Greek god of medicine makes the line "I suppose that's what separates the gods from the mortals" so much funnier.
Even though Heracles became the god of sport and victory after dying?
@@itzyaboyguzma5992 more like proto-jesus. Savior, "soter". Once human, saved peope from evils/monsters? had a god-father, died for their sins, ascended to godhood.
Other religions had some similar figures too.
That is what late Heracles worship was look like. Christianity just copypasted parts of it to enter smoother - good marketing, nothing personal.
@@hirdbarding3399 Bruh there isn't a single culture on the planet that doesn't have a mortal born of a god savior in their history.
@@hirdbarding3399 I know it's popular to claim that Christianity just mixed and matched bits of religion together, doesn't mean you can blatantly make things up. There are zero parallels between Jesus and Heracles. Totally different life stories, totally different concepts. And Jesus does have evidence of being real according to Tacitus and Josephus.
@@hirdbarding3399 cringe
"imagine how boring the Greek mythology would be if Zeus just kept it in his pants" - Kratos
maybe he would shit his pants instead? 🤞
Which mythology?
@@MB-yk1qk Milfology was Zeus' game.
@@owenlindkvist5355 and zoology tho🫠
Giant Duck avatar Zeus. Detachable-regenerating tentacle junk. Just saying! He could have been much worse.
Tom and don never disappoint with the weirdness of the videos
Oh, just wait until you read up on Greek mythology it you want to see weirdness…
It's not weird, bro, although they're conflating things a bit for humor. It's not the Greeks who thought that tiny pp is better, but the Romans. The Romans gave preference to small pp because they thought it meant less distance for the sperm to travel and thus the man was more virile and capable of impregnating a woman with his nutt.
Agreed, but lemme just say that your pfp is hilarious.
So, can you add Tomdom to the list of your fetishes?
They need to hire someone named Dom now.
A smaller penis is only symbolic of moral superiority, whereas a larger member was considered to represent lust and all the reprehensible indignities of the human condition.
The woman or young boy line is disgustingly accurate for a lot of history… even up to the 1940s
You misnumbered "2020's."
@@calanon534 lol
Even to present time! Please see multiple middle Eastern cultures
@@MyerShift7 wow
@@maxim_beatbox It's funny cuz it's true. I heard of some real fucked up shit over there. They are still behind on the times.
Now I can say Im hung like Hercules
If only it was John Brown
Great for picking up chicks at the bar.
Just because Greece states portraits 2 meter tall buff dudes with small penises doesn't mean that they actually were like that
@@danguy6591 But they did consider small penises to be more a more desirable trait, so the idea that a demi-god hero would be absolutely miniscule down there makes a lot of sense.
@@danguy6591 well back then when sex wasn't the biggest unit of value and it was only used for getting children, people saw small penises as a more desirable trait and the big one as unwanted and barbaric
I love how the lion is just looking at him with disappointment
A gorilla is actually small.
Well they do have tiny dicks for their body size,
i had the misfortune of witnessing what male lions like to do when a big crowd passes their enclosure at a zoo.
When a male lion abruptly turns its backside on you, run, because you are in the crosshairs.
And that lion is dead.
That lion is actually Scar from Lion King lol
I thought that was his hair
The fact that the lion cape is judging the guy as well made me laugh so hard :D
I guess I’m blessed by the gods
Olympus would be proud
That's the spirit! 😂
Historical accurate pirates of the Caribbean would be something
Crabs and scurvy, and drinking enough salt water to think manatees were mermaids.
And think of the dental health back then.
It turn into a Johny and Amber BS probably...
@@johnmcvey4243 , and the rats, and the moldy hard "bread" that had maggots in it....
Well there is the horrible smell of them, how many just died from being on a boat in the middle of the ocean, or how many slaves they could plunder from other ships.
It's also about small, FLACCID weiners, as you can look up how the ancient Greek portrayed the animalistic, impulsive satyrs, that have huge, erect ones and thus seen as "more beast than man".
So getting visibly aroused down-under, in public was a big nono, the statues thus also portray self-control.
Ever heard of Priapos?
@@vermilion7777 Yeah, the Romans would set up statues of him like garden gnomes. If said gnomes would bum would-be thieves silly.
All I gotta do is whisper in their ears about my ED, and they will swoon for me.
Orgies in public? Perfectly acceptable.
Erection in public? Barbarian.
This is also why the Greeks and later Romans were apalled by the Israelites and their practice of circumcision, which they believed improperly exposed the glans and shaft, marking out the man who had been circumcised as a barbarian. They believed that a small, flaccid penis covered completely by the foreskin was modest and proper, and signified civility. So it's no wonder why when the Selucids and Romans ruled over the Jews, they tried to ban it. Results were bloody, as expected.
Jumping into the ocean and having it all spill out at the end did me in. 💀
Bro I just realized the Nemean lions eyes are moving when they talk about his thing-along
Love how its actually accurate to real Ancient Greece. They believed that large phalluses meant that you were more animal than man and that small phalluses meant you were more in control of yourself and your impulses.
Did ancient Greece really believe that? Damn!
Are you sure this entire cartoon wasn't just based off Greek statues of men having small genitalia? Because that was done as an aesthetic. Statues of that time period weren't proportional, the heads and shoulders were much larger than the waist and legs. This was done because the viewers would be at ground level and it let you see the details of the upper body easier even if they were far above you. That and no one wanted the main focus to be David's dick.
Sounds more like some tiny dicked philosophers got together and made that the common belief because of their lack of size
@@danielwells1734 ye, kinda interesting: it wasn't the penis size (or lack thereof) that represented manliness or virility, it was the intellect needed to power the man’s responsibility to father children, prolong the family line and sustain the city.
@@danielwells1734 yup, they also thought women were more attractive if they were bulky because they thought a slender woman would provide weaker children, and have more trouble having children.
It's basically a complete reversal of nowadays.
I am disappointed that we didn't get a Flashgitz rendition of "Go the Distance" themed around giant shlongs
Yes
That's for part two where he raises his IQ and it shrinks... only the IQ keeps going up and it keeps shrinking.
Some little spartan boy finds him and tells him he's not afraid he can go the distance
I concur, we need a parody!!!
i dont think you would want your shlong to "go the distance" back then.
I pretty much lost it when he said: *_"It's like a babies finger holding a Blueberry"._* 🤣
0:59 - 1:06
From what I've read about this time period, I am 100 % positive that this exact conversation took place...more than once 😂
"Like a baby's finger holding a blueberry"- Hercules 1250 B.C.
Not historically accurate. Circumcission wasn't a thing in ancient greece.
@@vermilion7777 He just had very tight foreskin okay.
Vermilion77 well technically it was a thing, it was very disliked by the dominant culture. There were circumcised Israelis living in Greece that had to use foreskin restoration in order to be allowed to participate in politics and sports. Of course back then they didn’t cut off nearly as much skin, so that wasn’t as hard to do as it is today. But yeah I see what you are saying. The dominant culture in America thinks of penises from a circumcised perspective. Which leaves a lot out. I don’t like how the circumcised have been persecuted in the past, but I believe circumcision is very, very wrong and I’m thankful that it didn’t happen to me and I got the choice.
@@megamax898 Me too. All genital mutillation should be banned. Every year more boys die in total of it, than girls. Thank God greece was the first country that got christianized and made an end of that tradition (till the puritans brought it back).
@@vermilion7777 technically you can pull the foreskin back even if you're not circumcised :p
I feel Clepeus’ pain. I share his pain daily.
You saying you got a pecker in a size that none would like?
:)
Cursed to roam the earth longing to be normal like the rest of the world
I'm sorry Atlas but you're banished from this village. Macedonia doesn't even want you. Maybe try somewhere in Asia.
Hahaha! You could never please a woman with one so large and disgusting as yours!
Absolutely barbaric!
I was born in the wrong generation.... i would've been treated like a god.
The definition of suffering from success
Well that put quite a spin on something I never even imagined
This really is accurate to ancient greece, tiny pepos were seen as prettier, that's why all the statues have teeny weewees
This is the only correct example of being born in the wrong era
From an evolutionary viewpoint it makes sense, less of a target and one size fit-all is probably the most biologically sensible. Splurting quickly too if you think about it. I never did and now I feel foolish and bigly endowed.
@@aelix56 also when not wearing clothes and in the forests it must sucked having a bigger one lmao.
@@andreismith9696 Imagine getting it stuck in a thorny bush 😨
Some may not get the joke but the ancient sculptors considered large members to be uncouth and smaller ones were more aesthetically pleasing or at least that’s what they told them selves
"They just don't appreciate me."
"They just don't appreciate me."
"They just don't appreciate me."
As in too distracting
You would probably trip
Legend has it that Archemeaies discovered the phenomena of water displacement (his Eureka moment) not from taking a bath, but by witnessing Esclepius jump into the sea.
Archimedes*
I really like this animation, and the whole historically accurate series, they are really funny. The main joke about the ideal penis size is 100% correct and I love how Hercules' design shows him wearing the skin of the Nemean Lion, which is also accurate. However there are things that are NOT historically accurate.
One thing that everyone else has mentioned is the fact that as this is the Greek version of the myth, the name "Hercules" shouldn't be his name as that is the Roman name, it should be Heracles. (Even though Hercules and Heracles were also not his real name, they were only titles that mean "glory of Hera", his real name was Alcides/Alcaeus).
Also, Hercules saying to Asclepius that "... separates the gods from the mortals really." is not correct, as Asclepius is not a mortal, he is the god of medicine and son of Apollo, god of arts, sunlight, music, healing, etc; (This makes Hercules the half-uncle of Asclepius, as Apollo is also one of Zeus' many children, so Apollo and Hercules are half-brothers) And Megara was a princess from Thebes not Athens.
Again, this animation is great and funny as hell, these are just some things that I wanted to point out.
Thank you *so much* for doing this. Never stop doing these.
Brilliant ending, somehow knowing why it was that he was mocked (not just what he was being mocked for) made it even better. Maybe a mockery of Robin Hood (something about men in tights prehaps) is in order. Fantastic video as always.
Haha the displaced whale in the water was a nice touch.
The fact that the ocean actually emptied out when the guy jumped in like Heracles said is fucking hilarious
"Like baby finger holding a blueberry" 😂😂😂
My friend and I used to make these same types of jokes.
I miss him, he was a great dude.
Sorry
@Fill Kaggots F uncool
Im sorry you killed him with your ginormous pecker
I don’t, I’m glad he’s gone
He might be gone but his tiny pecker lives on in our memories.
Please add "Avenge Me Brother" hoodies to your crowdmade site!
Lol... good luck with GW's lawyers.
@@vermilion7777 They have shirts! We need more upvotes!
I love your magnificent work lads!
If I ever need a commerical made i will call you two!
I love this. It speaks of how really beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
the size issue here is about sensation- an annoying tickle or a painful deviation from the 7th heaven- but not beauty
Apparently Hercules wasn't capping when he said bro can't get in the ocean without it washing away 😂
That's what I said.
@@michaelhaynes4946 bro that phrase is used all the time tf you talkin bout Willis?
@@Treeeee2008 who the fuck uses that? I've never once heard somebody say 'capping'. Bet money you wouldn't say capping in a job interview.
I’m sorry, I have to question the authenticity of this one… you mean you really expect me to believe Hera went this long without trying to kill him?
They did say say she drove him insane
Excellent as always my hats off to you guys keep up the good work!
Yours is a quality CZcams Channel, I hope you start getting even more recognition.
Best of regards.
It’s just like high school all over again 😭
I HATE IT
I'm the sixty-ninth like 😏
If it's historically accurate, he should be called "Herakles"
FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE GETS IT!!!!!!!
Hercules sounds better
LIKE A BABY’S FINGER HOLDING A BLUEBERRY
I'd think Atlantis would rather stay mysterious than admit that's how they really sank.
This literally happens every time I take my pants off in public.
I know the pain pal 😔
People pointing and laughing? Yea. The thing is, today's society thinks the exact opposite as they did back then, bigger is better now so they're laughing at the smallness.
People laughing or being arrested?
The Greeks also believed that testicles descending was what caused deeper voices in men.
Nothing to do with hormones though, They thought they tugged on the vocal chords. A man won an ignobel prize for that discovery.
My grandparents still belive that
Explains the saying “Balls dropped”
I can't really blame them for using that logic back then. What else were they supposed to assume? XD
A lot of people still believe that
@@AmberyTear I don’t know age maybe? I guess they used eunuchs as an example to prove the point but I don’t see how they’d explain women getting deeper voices… or how mens voices don’t keep getting deeper with age.
Since we went down the Cyclopes route…
“Nobody would ever want that thing near them.”
I like how the entire ocean spilled out when he "got in."
It just means Hercules was right. A tree trunk will have better luck fitting in then that guy's dong
Man Heracles had some pretty thick ass neck muscles there. He can easily crack an egg just by twitching his neck.
beauty standards in antiquity were interesting to say the least.
Lots of parts of the world a unibrow is still considered attractive
@@TheDevilockedzombie found the guy with the unibrow
I think that was only true for the Greek world. I think folks in the middle eastern were of the other mindset. See Ezekiel 23:20
Everybody in this comment section is getting this wrong.
They didn't idolize tiny dongs in ancient Greece, but they DID consider public displays of arousel to be shameful and un-manly.
As in, you lack self control and discipline, and pitching a tent in public exemplifies that.
THAT'S why all those statues were depicted with such "un-heroic" proportions. It was like saying "Hurcules is SO disciplined and powerful that he could be surrounded by fawning babes without feeling so much as a flutter."
@@kgpspyguy Thanks for setting the record straight. One look at any greek statue and people would see exactly what you mean.
I never get tired of these videos
We all know that the ceramic jar ladies should've been totally enlightened on this subject.
Damn, even the muses were laughing AND THEY WROTE THE STORIES
If Hercules had his sidekick Herculad he would have won
He still hasnt collected herculad at that point of the lore
The lions judgy eyes XD I can't...
Best one I’ve ever seen pls a sequel or more like this ty
In a way, we haven't changed much from that era's judgement. We now just do it on the opposite.
True
Been waiting for this for a long time
The condescending looks from the lion on his head is what really got me.
Even though the lion is dead on his head it still gives Clapeus that unapproved look non stop.
I honestly cant believe that you guys feel the need to throw this stuff on a second channel. ITS HILARIOUS! The last few cartoons are on this channel, imo, some of your best work.
As usual a good work of animation and comedy like always.
This is my new favorite video on CZcams.
I love these historically accurate vids
what a bout a grower?
Akways wondered if the ancient greek cared about that too
No one talking about how Meg looks looks here but I couldn't take my eyes off her whenever she was on screen. Just. Magnificent.
Seriously, very fucking funny.
They never disappoint with the weirdness of the videos we keep thinking that can’t surprise us anymore and we get proven wrong by how unexpected and weird the videos are
I mean it's exaggerated but not weird, they do represent veridyc facts after all.
The ocean spilling out was the perfect icing on the cake. xD
Clepeus, my brother, you were simply born at the wrong time ;_;
You guys have the best humor on all of CZcams.
Subscribed! That produced a true belly laugh! Thanks.
Yes! More of those! I was hoping they'd make more Historically accurate cartoons.
The draining the ocean at the end was a nice touch.
ngl these are fucking killer insults Hercules is throwing out there
Nowadays Asclepius would be known for "suffering from success"
i just notices that the oceans waters did all spill out when asclepias fell into it lmaoooo
Just absolutely amazing. So funny I loved it.
My god she’s gorgeous!
Easily one of my favorite videos. You truly perfected the Greek form with Hercules. A paragon of civilized society in every way shape and... size. Myess....
Incredible
And really keeping with realism at the end, there.
That disgusting mutant.
I was born in the wrong era :(
God thank you for these videos
Need more from these guys
I often imagine what I'd do if I time traveled back to ancient Greece and showed off how barbaric I am down there
You'd probably be aristocracy with that baby dinkle.
Don't worry man, you'll blend in with the locals quite well
If I did I'd be a god-amongst-men. They'd sculpt me spread-eagle and everything
Would the guys who are growers not showers be barbarians in disguise then?
@@teddyroosevelt512 These are the questions...
Well, I guess this explains why the "barbarians" had more kids.
That and their preference for, y'know, women
Those kids would die of sickness and stuff
@@talltroll7092 Barbarians...preferring soft women over the *AESTHETIC* of men.
Disgusting.
@@talltroll7092 quite untrue , even barbaric tribes allowed sexual relationship of the same sexes , it is a common misconception that greeks are gay , by our definition they were but not by theirs greeks never allowed same gender marriage , also they hated feminization of men and to be more manly you had to be the one penetrating not the one taking the dick in the ass . Vikings also were like that if you had to have sexual relationship wiht other men you would had to be the one doing the penetrating , it was a great offense even to call somone a "rassragr" (in ancient norse means a men that allows other men to sodomize him) , and not only that if you were to be insulte one in such a way you were legally allowed to kill them , even more so obligated , because if you did not it would imply that you are weak and an efeminate men .
I'm pretty sure they just raped women a lot.
This gave me so much confidence
This is one of the funniest things I've seen in my life
I feel like this is Flashgitz most tame video.
Now we need historically accurate winnie the pooh lol
Is this just a bear mauling a small child to death?
Or is it a sequel to a certain meat of the canyon short?
It can be either one lol
You mean the CCP?
Nah it pooh chian
i love that all the water in the ocean spilled out when he jumped in
Love the guy in the background measuring it like a fish.
This must be that little "Herculad" I've heard so much about.
now if you bring hercules in 2023 it would be hella different
I like it that he actually falls in and spills the ocean dry.
Inaccurate, Hercules never went mad and murder Meg and his human parents
Do you know, this video is a joke? Seriously why you guys commented more inaccurate details, of this humouros animation.
@@iamlouis1495 you do know this comment is a joke right?
@@AverageEvangelionFan and do you know there are 20 fingers?
@@iamlouis1495 but do you know that skinned blue berries are green and mashed blue berries are red