Heroin Addict interview-Anthony
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- čas přidán 17. 08. 2021
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Anthony, a heroin addict living on Skid Row.
Here's a link to donate to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/b68ef60f
Here’s a link to audio only versions of SWU videos: asmrdb.fanlink.to/softwhiteun... - Krátké a kreslené filmy
"What do you think most people don't understand about addiction?"
"My actions would say that I don't love you and I don't care, but I think that couldn't be further from the truth. Sometimes addict care too much, and their feelings are a little too strong so they completely shut down. "
This one meant so much to me Mark, thank you for all that you do.
What he doesn’t realize, sadly, is he has so many qualities that make him an excellent human. He’s a beautiful man, intellectually and physically. Wow.
Heroin shuts down the ability to think or realise. Trust me
He explained addiction so well. “I don’t love myself enough to stick around for my family.” Those are some sad, strong words. I hope he finds happiness.
It's not that though, it's not that he doesn't want to, the drug chemically alters logic. I should give talks because every time I've ever explained it to anyone they've always told me that I explain it so that a person who never has can begin to understand.
You could have your partner lying next to you but your minds and heart is with someone else.
Family isn't always something good or worthwhile. Sometimes is just people you ended up living with. He has to be there just and only for himself to get off this.
About 2 years ago me and my crew saw a heroin addict walking by extremely happy across the street... as you may know the H rule (if a junkie is happy , he has heroin money on him).
Long story short we jump him , knock him down and rob him cold. He got 220 euros.
About 6 months later he commit suicide.
The point is I still laugh about it like it was yesterday. I mean I felt sorry for who ? A junkie?
We saw her sister about a week ago.... I try to smash her but she said no... I told her about her brother plus I say "if he was here 30 times I would smash him again 30 times, nobody even like him" and she cry a lot and started shaking.
The point is some of us are the bad guys of the stories and WE DONT GIVE A FLYING F*CK ABOUT IT , WE STIL LAUGH ABOUT THE INJURIES WE DONE.
where does he shoot up? no track marks.
He’s very intuitive and extremely self aware. That’s great for him because most people won’t even admit to having a problem. At least he acknowledges it.
Saying. Doing.
Two different animals.
He doesn't look like a typical person on skid row. I hope he can change things around
Hi Anthony and Mark - Stranger here halfway across the world. Would love a chance to do a small thing for this gentleman. I am not sure how - but if it could somehow be arranged to give him a hotel room and get him off the street for a night, I would be happy to cover that cost. I understand his comments on integrity and self-regulation on a personal level, and feel that maybe another chance at a normal life might provide him some motivation to keep it going one day at a time - since all we can truly do is wake up each morning and tell ourselves it's worth it. If this gets buried, I just hope it gets buried with comments of love and support for Anthony.
Absolutely. I'd be willing to invest in some help for this young man & his son. His actions are so detrimental. His knowledge of self is so enunciated! That is so rare!
I 100% see the light in his eyes. he is still in there
Thank you sir for trying!! I just saw this, this morning! This is my sisters boy ANTHONY!! I am in Michigan, I am worried sick about him. I am PRAYING HE IS OK< SAFE and HEALTHY!!!
Thank you i don't know this Man but really Thank you. people like you are what keep the humanity in this world Alive! God bless!
@@doomhead2332 I agree. This is my nephew, and I PRAY he could get help from this gentlemen. VERY KIND TO OFFER
He's smart, likeable, and handsome. As a mom, this especially breaks my heart. He thinks back to people he hurt, but he can make amends with them. Don't give up. I heard him say fear, shame and regret are hard to deal with. They ARE, but I think and he can get past those emotions. Much love to him ❤
Good thing he's handsome, right?
@@thematriarchy2075 Jesus, you're gonna pick at me for paying him a compliment?
@@maureenmartini5094 No, i am just wondering why some people think it's a compliment. You are born the way you are, and people are not handsome for having been good people. I am very against the objectification of people. For me it always has been a burden when others talk about my looks. I never got anything out of it except for discomfort. It is truly the most irrelevant thing to notice of others. Besides, when we objectify others, people start to objectify themselves, which will actually make people feel unhappy.
I apologize to you if i made you feel a certain way. I wish people would stop with the superficial stuff. It makes us all much happier.
@@thematriarchy2075 😂😂
@@thematriarchy2075 you are transferring your feelings and attacking a person who made a beautiful sincere compliment , focus on yourself !
He’s intelligent, well spoken and has insight. He can absolutely get through this with the right tools and strength. I hope he’s reading these and knows we are all backing him.
So true 🙏🏾
Yes.. I agree 💜
you can have all the right tools every single time but the addict has to WANT to finally be at the end of it all before they really know and feel they are ready to take that step to recovery.
Nah.. he not recovering .. he left his kids..
Junkie
@@themedinacrown7654 judgemental people like you are the reason why this channel exists… to educate you not to be so judgemental. It’s sad that so many lives are destroyed but addicts don’t want to be addicts. That’s what so many people don’t understand. And before anyone arch’s up, I have never been an addict but I have empathy.
'I can love them to death but I don't love myself enough to stick around for them' that is probably the most articulate way to say addiction is internal not external. The memory demons they fight are all within and all consuming.
Hope this guy can illuminate his way to a better future.
“Basically anything that takes me out of myself “
You got the point.
That’s the answer for drug choice
For some, yes.
It's about the REASON for drug choice. Nobody wakes up at 7 years old and decides I want to be an addict when I grow up.
It’s too bad Anthony thinks he has to fix the past 15 years, because that would be impossible. You are a bright, articulate young man, Anthony. I have no doubt you can change your life for the better. Good luck, hope Mark is able to stay in touch with you.
So true.. the past is the past one can only move forward. Love this comment, same feelings, he can change things he just has to see his worth ❤️
I went to school with Anthony he was a great guy with a beautiful personality. God bless him and his child.
He's too bright a light to give up on himself. There is no clear path; it's one step at a time. Not trying is worse than failing. He owes it to himself, and to his son, to try get clean again and live up to his potential 💚
He likes getting high that's his escape from responsibility.
Yes. This comment summed it up beautifully ♥️♥️♥️
@@Ashleyiza nah .. he is a junkie
I wouldn't exactly say he is a bright light.
@@b1k2q34 he is, it's just dimmed by his demons right now. Peace.
Anthony it’s never to late to be the father you want to be . I’m 48 and I assure you 28 is still young and your son is at the age he will not remember you gone , this is a window of opportunity to get back to who you are at your core , which is insightful and loving . Please get help and go back , ask God for courage and strength , we’re all rooting for you 💗 Yea you’re right life does go by fast 💨 . My father also committed suicide when I was young and left an empty space in my heart and i’ve made my fair share of mistakes and running away from EVERYTHING and EVERYONE . There’s a saying … you can run away from your problems but you can’t hide … I found this true for myself . No amount of hiding through drugs or changed location , or isolating will ever change that until you deal with the trauma . You sound and seem intelligent and insightful, I am praying for you 🙏
It’s so painfully clear how bright he is, he deserves a better future, I hope he can find support. This is another painful one.
2 minutes in and I already find this bloke likeable..always always starts from when they were kids and how they were bought up..terrible shame
Me too!! He’s so young and he is very intelligent…he needs a good friend…I’m so lucky I have parents who love me and my father who never gave up on me or I may have been Anthony’s tent neighbor. I’m 54. I’ve always wanted to visit LA but not Skid Row😢have a great day David☀️🌈
My thoughts exactly... He is very eloquent, intelligent and gracious. I sincerely hope he starts living the life that corresponds to his personality.
@@pinkirosi yep agree..Me and my bro was reared by my grandparents but we had a brilliant childhood through it..I’m from the uk so have never seen skid row although I have been to the states a couple times..heartbreaking to see young men/girls in these positions but it all seems to stem from poor upbringings..just hope they can get out and get clean ❤️
Agreed
@@davidjackson1986 ❤️❤️❤️
I hope this guy pushes through his problems and comes out stronger.
I thought I remembered his face, then he said Philadelphia and then I recall seeing him maybe under the bridge at FDR Skatepark under I95. STAY STRONG BROTHER ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The burden of feeling like you have to make up for lost time and progress based on comparisons to others is too heavy. Compare yourself only to the you that you were yesterday. Start where you're at, not where you been.
This is probably one of the most important things you can learn and practise in life
I feel sorry for him. He seems very sweet and lacks a lot of confidence. I hope he can make his way out , he deserves so much better. God bless you Anthony. Please get it together for ur little one. I’m praying for you.
Oh Anthony. 😔
My mama heart hurts for you.
Please dig a little deeper and know that you can come out of this.
I respect that he's very clear headed, accountable and doesn't lie to himself. That's half the battle.....he can totally do this. He knows his faultlines, and knows the triggers. God bless him, I hope he gets clean
This guy is me. I always have had this issue to convey what I really mean or feel. This guys has put it so eloquently on what I have always wanted to say.
same
He's such a handsome man and has so much potential. The pain in his eyes is so obvious. Hope he gets help soon and can reunite with his son.
I wonder if he would be deserving of your empathy if he wasn't handsome.
“I can make a promise to myself one day then be in a completely different frame of mind three days later…”
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been right there on the edge of change but we hold our own selves back. I hope he finds the strength to push through. As much as he doesn’t think so HE deserves a better life.
What a handsome, smart, well spoken man. He just needs some counseling to work through some past issues and rehab. I hope he doesn't give up the fight. He's young and can have a great life ahead of him.
Anthony I'm glad you are trying to get better and manage your illness I have been clean for 24 years you can do it bro and I hope you will and that you can take those steps blessings and care, from Louisville Derby City Kentucky
Shelly, I’m praying for you! It’s a big show of your heart & empathy to encourage others when you’ve dealt with the same things. Blessings 💕
@@ahlenatano 🤗💯%Thank-You☆ I'm hoping All is well in your life; That you're healthy, happy,and smiling often&from ear to ear!♡👍🌻❣
❤
I know Mark can’t help them all, but this one sure deserves it !
My thoughts too
Actually he CAN help them all. He just has to put up a GOFUNDME and give them the profit from the video. He's rich.
@@flecha213 You do not know if he is rich, and that is also irrelevant here.
He used to have a GoFundMe campaign set-up, but some interviewees felt like they were owed all of the money from it, which is not the case.
It got dangerous for Mark to continue the GoFundMe campaign, so he stopped.
@@flecha213 he's tried that and it hasnt worked. also, give an addict hundreds or thousands of dollars and a huge amount of them will overdose. he's done so much and if you really care look into it. the podcast he did with Koncrete is a great start,
Sobriety is not for people who want it or who need it! It’s for people who do it! I have wanted to save everyone too but if they don’t do the work it will never work. I take it hard sometimes when I sponsor some one but it’s never my fault. When people are ready there is nothing wrong I can tell them and then they are not ready there is nothing right I can tell them…
He is so tuned in but so detached. He is projecting so much anger. Depression has a strong genetic link. Nobody is perfect. Have faith. Please don’t give up on yourself! Heartache is real.
Apparently you have never been through an addiction and until you do don’t make comments please
@@juliequigley637 how dare you presume to know my story. I was sharing my observations as a human being. Anthony is not alone in his feelings. Stay in your lane Julie.
This man's monologue could easily be my own. I have so many points in common, and know listening to him how close he is to redeeming himself and reconnecting with his loved ones. I am also reminded how close I am to being in his same position.
Find peace Anthony.
Anthony!! You have your whole life in front of you my man!!!
You are smart, young and have a chance to be a father to your son that you need to find the strength to be.
Being a father is better than not being a father at all!💯❤️🤦🏻♂️💪🏼💪🏼👍🏻
You’re too smart for you not to get out of this hole. I see a comeback story. Everyone loves a comeback story. You can do it! Absolutely. Go get sober and get in your sons life! He needs you man!
This guy is really handsome and appears healthy and well put together.
Just seeing him walking down the street I would never guess he was a homeless heroin addict.
It just goes to show you cant judge a book by its cover!
This is a truly incredible interview. At the end of the day we need to be thankful for every day that we have to live, and love. Even when it hurts.
Anthony, You are a handsome man. ❤️ Quit dwelling in your misery and clean the hell up. Get some help and live right. Be a good father. You can do this. You are still young. You can still turn your life around man. Do It!
What's up Mark. Keep up the good work. These stories have made me understand that we should never judge people too quickly. We all carry a heavy load and find various ways to cope with it. I really hope people with addictions find healthier ways to cope for themselves.
Wish I could afford to send him to one of our excellent rehab centers here in Colorado and Utah. So much potential... Always interesting, thanks!
That would be amazing
@Tsarina Alexandra that’s a shame about the system back logged in LA. Would Kratom help to withdrawal for him at this point ?
@Tsarina Alexandra he could use kratom to kick the heroin, but if the pain is still there he will be at risk of falling back.
@Tsarina Alexandra why did you delete your other comment?
This one made cry. You have so much potential. You're so insightful, you're poetic. I'm praying for you and I feel confident that you'll make it out of this hell.
I hope Anthony finds his way to recovery and self forgiveness. Blessings to you brother.
He explains the emotional struggle so accurately, he's the kind of person that will make a wonderful counsellor when he gets clean
This channel is so profound. Easy to forget the emotional complexity being an addict, never though about the actions vs. the emotions. I sort of always assumed some people just don't care, when that is probably 100% false. More likely that they just don't know how to get back to where they were before the wreckage.
What an amazingly beautiful soul! He has such insight into himself and his own heart. His self awareness and compassion as well as his intelligence just shine through immensely. If you look at the picture Mark took, you can see the immense pain in his eyes.
What a sweet young man ...as mother, this breaks my heart :(
I watch these interviews and I want to mother a lot of these broken souls. It is so important to have a stable good home growing up. Childhood trauma and no direction I notice is a common theme in the interviews. Inside most drug addicts is an abused and neglected child.
That got me in the guts the last sentence. Totally. You get it!
“Fear, shame and regret, 15 years to clean up”. Perspective while on drugs is hard. We love, we hurt, we are human. You are not alone, you are love Anthony!! Thnx Mark for stepping into your purpose, much love from Amsterdam 💛💛💛
it breaks my heart to see someone from my hometown on here .. he’s such a young wise man and so full of potential .. I work at a Suboxone clinic in Lancaster, PA and all I want is to welcome this man with open arms and ease the pain caused by his untreated trauma .. I pray he finds the strength to fight this disease 😔
He is so sharp, articulate, and gorgeous. Anthony, you can do it! We believe in you.
Lets all say a prayer 🙏 for this beautiful man!
Very seldom do i feel compelled to comment. Anthony- with your understanding of addiction (fear-resentment-failure...etc) i believe you are the PERSON that can and eventually will lead many others to understand and be accountable for their own actions. I see clearly you don't deny your stake in the game. Theres an old saying i remember from my younger yrs "Be the dad you wish you had" you are a wise young man. You have the voice/experience that many could benefit from. Throw away the rear view mirror you have already crossed those roads.You have a purpose...You've mastered living in the dark. You deserve to the sun now buddy. Shine on!!
Awesome comment 🙏
Such an awesome person, if only he could forgive himself for his mistakes, easier said then done of course. There is plenty of time ahead, I would love to help him out but I am so far away.
FOR GIVING🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Despair and regret can be another form of self-indulgence that keeps us from right actions.
It hurt my heart when he broke down. There’s a lot of love inside him.
I feel like these interviews for them are good to get it off their chest. They keep all the pain bottled up inside and sometimes it does help to just talk about it or have someone listen for a while.
definitely i feel these videos are almost like therapy for them
Anthony, I can relate to your story. My mother died when I was 10, & it took many years for me to realize that all my adult issues, specifically in relationships, were tied to that experience.
It sounds like what you described with your son’s mother is similar to what you experienced with your step mother & half brothers. We all will re-create our childhood experiences until we learn different beliefs about who we are in the world.
You aren’t the black sheep in the world. You are a great dad, a sweet soul who lost his mother, and a brave man for sharing your story.
Much love to you, Anthony - you are not alone. ♥️
Such an intelligent, handsome gentleman. Could barely keep eye contact. My heart goes out to him 😕 sending prayers his way and hope he gets the help and support he desperately needs. ***Please keep us updated***
I love this quote, but I think it’s apt on many levels “ The deeper the mud, the more beautiful the lotus.” Peace and resolution is taming the tiger of our minds. We can do it. Much love.♥️
I cannot believe he is out there. His light is shining so bright. I wish i could grab his hand and carry him to the other side. i think he is so much closer to succed than he can imagine.All my love to this beautiful und deeply reflected beautiful soul.As a psychotherapist i worked with a lot of addicts and i can see in him that he is terribly hurt but not broken. I would love to work with him ( unfortunately im in germany). But if i can help him anyhow-i will.
Dear Anthony!
You are beautiful, inside and outside.
That pain in your eyes, I wish I could take it away.
Your story brought back memories of my own childhood, being the "black sheep".
I am rooting for you and your healing!
You have immense amount of strength inside of you.
LOVE YOURSELF WITHOUT JUDGEMENT ❤️
This guy has so much potential,Gene's play a big part in a person's life!he can create a decent life , just keep trying don't give up!!
This guy speaks well and seems fairly smart. Wish he can get the help he needs.
This guy is really smart and self aware!
I am rooting for him!
Most of the people I’ve met who’ve struggled with addiction have had significant childhood trauma, I wish this man a good life and hope he finds contentment xxx
Yet another rough childhood. 😢 I hear the sadness in his voice, and can visibly see the hurt in his eyes. I pray that he finds his way out of this for his son. We all deserve a bit of joy in our lives, and he’s no exception. You’re worth being loved, Anthony. Start with yourself first. Hang in there buddy. ❤️💗❤️🙏🏽
Matrix
The only thing about family though is eventually you gotta stop as an addict and give them something anything. And to keep doing things shows total lack of respect and love. This is coming from an addict, put my mom through hell in my younger years. Was lucky enough to have some years to make her proud before she left this place.
Good advice and good for you for understanding this dynamic. It will save your life. I wish my brother had understood this but he couldn't face the damage he had done to his family. Shame and the refusal to face it are what killed him.
As a mom you just made my day. Thank you, for the hope...🌺
Sending love and light to this bright man!
I hope he finds the strength to live in peace and kick his addiction 🤍
I’m so sorry for the hard road you’ve had Anthony. I’m hopeful your conversation with Mark brings you hope; there are caring people in the world who will listen, who will work with you and your addiction to better yourself. People care about you - it’s time, and it’s okay, to care about yourself. Sending you love and strength, I see you.
Excellent interview. Such an accurate portrayal of addiction.
Anthony I’m in tears. You are more amazing than you know. You can turn your life around to do great things. 🙏🏽❤️
Great interviews, you have a gift. Thanks for showing me the side of the world that is just next door.
I just want to give him a hug man, you got this Anthony!
Addicts do care too much. It's why we are how we are.
I wish he could find the tools to share his potential with the world. He has alot to offer. ❤️ Thank you Mark
We need a follow up with Anthony in a couple months!!
I've met this man recently in the process of getting sober myself and as is he. A very kind and gentle soul. Much love! -Festus
I can see him as a model. He has so much potential. Praying for you 🙏❤
He is sooo well spoken I too am a heroin addict but I would of never guessed he was
It’s from reading all those books as a child.
I hope he finds Path to Sobriety and Serenity..
He's super intelligent..if he got clean he would be a seriously great counselor!
We are praying for you brother
Godspeed man..
Ive hired that the guy in my company if he was off heroin. He stand at a crossroad, now he has put his son in the same place he hated as a kid. Isnt that motivation enough? He is well spoken and wish all the best for him.
You have the strength to do this Anthony, I believe in you! Forgive and have compassion with yourself. Much love
Anthony, again I forgot something I wanted to share with you... I work a program of H.A.L.T.☆ basically that means try to never let yourself be; Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. When you notice you're feeling one of these things; have a plan ahead of time to halt these four things and this helps me. The main to I worry with is angry regarding past abuse( we can't change the past we have to live in the moment, so anger doesn't sit the person on fire that you're angry with it just Burns us up)... I have few friends loneliness is when I Turn to You guys, or another Channel where I know a few people online or many people, build a network in real life not just online a plan of who you can call or visit when you are lonely as well bored. Always always remember to love yourself and never let anything or anyone make you feel worthless; for we all are Miracles and treasures and we first begin to treasure ourselves our health and every moment we've been given we try to make it better make today tomorrow's good old days☆♡ I don't usually give advice but you touched my heart and you have such great potentials you're manners you touched many hearts today mine was one.~ Hugs and care👍🌻❣
There’s something so genuine and likable about him, you just route for this guy! Such an intelligent and good looking young man
Rooting for you!!! You can do this!!! You have so much to offer. You can still be a great father. It’s never too late
I really think this guy has the strength on the inside, with some help. Therapy for past traumas. Trauma is a life sentence. So it needs to be nurtured throughout all of the years we go through. I really hope someone comes into his life that is a positive rock to help him along the way. Life is so much harder alone when you have been a victim of abuse. In all senses of that word.
He is so sweet. Want to give him a hug!
This guy is a big candidate for someone to give him help.
Hes shame and guilt is massive.i can relate all to well.
This interview hit home with me. How he explains addiction and how it is affecting his life, I just want to find him and give him a hug.
I wish you luck in finding and maintaining sobriety. It really seems like you want to get clean for yourself and for your Son. All the best.
You are a really like able guy . I hope 🤞 things get better . You deserve it .
I feel Your Pain Bro. Please Be Strong, one thing I learned that helped me is stop with the Self shaming, accept that this is apart of us for now. But it can always change. And if you are using, execute something whatever it is to make you feel peace with yourself. People dont like to help us because they worried about the darkness taking over. Just gotta learn a lil control. Then when you are ready you won't need it anymore. I'm almost there when I figure it out I'll share my Process. Until be easier on yourself Bro. We got enough shit
One of the best insightful interviews I’ve seen.. 🙏🏾
Wow…..I rarely comment (tho I have watched hundreds of Mark’s videos) and this guy has a GIFT of putting things into words. He should be an author. Dude needs to write a memoir for sure….perfect goal when you get clean friend💜
Yeah, beautiful soul. Sending you the best vibes Anthony
Very likeable, smart and easy on the eyes. God bless him. I know he can get well. Good luck Anthony. Your son needs you!
"dont eat the yellow snow" LOL. Anthony has amazing depth and insight into himself, which is an absolutely remarkable quality. I love what he says about not taking it personally when an addict chooses drugs over their loved ones. Truth right there. I love his identifying his shame, fear, and guilt. He knows all there is to know about the dynamics of addiction....so then...how does such a person find sobriety?
Anthony has this when or if he decides he wants to stay clean. He definitely knows what it takes. I once had the same issues in my mind, and truly believe you can overcome them . Blessing to you and yours🙏🤝💚
Love this guy, he has such a gentle spirit. I’m praying for you Anthony.
This guy has just accurately described addiction with ease. he is very in tune with himself. So much promise and young. I hope the best for him....he deserves it!
I hope you realize that even though it goes by quick you still have more than enough time to be present and’s stay present. Try not to let anymore time just slip away man. It took me a long time to get there I’m 41 now and sober 2 years and now that I am present it’s amazing. My biggest regret is not doing it sooner, like when I was 28 or in my 30s for that matter. I wish you the best friend
Considering your heartbreaking start in life, it’s no wonder you experience the levels of trauma and pain that you do. You are so much more than this. It does not need to define you. I wish you all the luck to find your path to sobriety and self love. It is all within you and after hearing your words, I believe you can do it.
Such a beautiful man! You got this! 💪🏻