You are so blessed! We have Father Derek Lappe at Our Lady Star of the Sea in Bremerton WA. I would so love to have Father Kilcawly trade with Father Lappe on one of his many Parish Missions. Lent some year would be awesome!!! God’s deep peace and Love... Always..... John
This was an excellent interview. I struggled with this since I was 10 years old. It became progressive and out of control. I finally allowed the Lord to come into those halls of darkness and heal me. God has graced me with over a year sobriety. There are days that the temptation is not even there. Only by God's grace. As a Patron, Matt, thank you for this interview and your ministry!
@@KethenGoesHam You are not alone; it's a weekly or even daily struggle for me too and, though it has improved, it's not gone yet. I believe the "journey" is part of the test... we are not meant to get out of this easily, lest we take it for granted. I have hope though!
@@KethenGoesHam maybe he made it sound too easy for him and didn’t give all the details as to what he went through and how. You can make it. Keep seeking the original trauma/open door. It is often a lot younger than we remember. The Holy Spirit will help you keep inviting Him into your pain for freedom. Deliverance, therapy Jesus paid the price and made the way out for you. He loves you. You are not a second class citizen to him. Ephesians chapter 1.👑
Pornography ought to be illegal. It used to be. No one thinks making it illegal would end the sin problem. But it would keep a LOT of kids safer through their early developing years. And would move the Overton window towards sanity
I had to look up what the Overton Window was, and when I did, it reminded me of the UK government's current ideas regarding what constitutes extreme pornography. They decided to allow more perverse and harsh actions in pornography so that fewer images/videos would be seen as extreme and fewer people would end up being prosecuted. All that happens is that people are better able to become desensitised to cruelty and depravity, with all the ramifications of that. You're absolutely right to use the word "sanity" - our current laws are anything but.
Lol have fun. I don't regard laws as anything more than suggestions anyway. Anything one can get away with is to be commended in this teetering world. I take pride in being under the radar and doing what I want.
How can I help someone struggling? My boyfriend has a problem and he refuses to admit it saying he does have a problem and how do I get him to recognize the issue?
@@catlady7183 he needs to understand that he's hurting you and that he's telling you, through his actions, that you aren't enough. He may also want to consider the grave immorality of it. Many of those women are trafficked, abused and sexually assaulted. I don't see it as something that can be consumed with a clear conscience. I'm unsure of how to get another person to confront something like this other than by showing them the harm inflicted. I will pray for you.
@@catlady7183 to be blunt... if he does not care about your well being enough to fight for you and to consider your worth, feelings and human dignity... then you may be better off elsewhere.
@@WhiskyJax thank you so much for this. I thought about breaking up with him cuz he never wants to hear what I say or is aware of how many ppl r hurt from it for his own desires. Whenever I try to talk to him about God he never wants to hear it and idk what to do
"I need to pray as if I'm a sinner who needs to surrender my life to God. I don't need to pray as if I'm a mystic who just has a porn problem on the side every three weeks" OOF
"but is it a *weighted* cassock?" Fellas, I hollered out loud laughing. This interview has been tremendously helpful and edifying for me in my own struggles. Thank you.
I know you guys know this, but I really think you should not always phrase this as a man looking at porn and hurting his wife or girlfriend or whatever. My girlfriend has had tremendous struggles with pornography for many reasons stemming from personal traumas throughout life. She is open about it with me, but it still seems like something shameful for her, she feels like a man because she looks at porn and that creates the shame cycle you guys mentioned. I just think it would be really helpful for her and women like her to hear more about the FACT that this effects many other women as well.
He had Sr Miriam on his show recently! She’s given quite a few talks on her sexually abusive past and her resulting addiction to pornography, maybe your girlfriend would really appreciate a female approach 🙂. From what other commenters have pointed out, it seems like they’re generally talking about it being a man because they’ve both been in that situation themselves, and maybe they forget to always include women in the approach unless they’re specifically addressing female pornography use. I’ll pray for your girlfriend!
Matt, Fr. Kilcawley is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! O how long this world has been waiting for his specific ministry!!! Praise Jesus and Mary for this priest! He should start his own podcast too! haha 😃👊🏻. Thank you so much Matt for serving Our Lord and Church. God bless!
Search for his name on CZcams. There are more videos from him not just from his channel but video posts from various churches and groups across the US.
Your challenge on what constitutes a lie was very apt and the fact that Father didn't get it was concerning... To lie is to speak a falsehood. It's not lying to omit to say something. That may be immoral based on the circumstance, but that doesn't make it a lie. This is a super basic definition and without it it's impossible to speak precisely about these things. The fact that he offered to bring up the catechism (which would have proved him wrong, so props to you for sparing him the embarrassment) also left a bad taste in my mouth, because not only is he wrong about something, it's something he's willing to bet he's right about it. As a traditionalist some of what Father says here is challenging, and it's a good challenge. On the other hand, there is a theme you've been bringing up, Matt, over the past few months, about whether contemporary Catholic speakers are just psychologizing. I don't think any of your guests has given satisfying defense. edit: around 1 hour and 5 minutes he started saying really useful things so I partially rescind
An old video, but as of this year: I have been using Covenant Eyes for over a year now, renounced Satan and sinfulness through conversion to Catholicism (since Easter Vigil, April 8th!) Since conversion, I have been tempted, yes...but I have no desire to sin that sin anymore. I have not sinned in lust since, and I give all honor and glory to God the Father, because He equips all of us who desire to be free from that sin (and all sins) with the angels and saints' prayers and intercessions, most importantly and chiefest of saints: The Blessed Virgin Mary (whom I love ever-so dearly and adore her Immaculate Heart!). Thanks be to God. This is the faith. This is Holy Mother Church. Please repent/renounce your sins, and believe in The Gospel. Pax Christi. Ave Maris Stella. Be safe everyone. Praying for their journeys towards healing and renouncing the sin of lust/sexual immorality. It is truly a deadly sin.
Thank you so much for your wisdom father Sean. Just within the first 10 minutes you helped me realize that I was bemoaning and complaining about things that other people have done that hurt my heart deeply, all while doing the same thing to God when I ran to sin in response to the pain. Bless you for all your work.
My best friend for 10 years of my life and helped me through my parents divorce and that other difficult time and when I lost my job, I now have to say to that best friend that I don’t want to be friends anymore. That’s such a beautiful way to look at it :) thank you
I’m not catholic but this guy made me want to be. To be fair, I have sought help from my church/leadership. The part where he talked about people not being able to pray it away otherwise it would’ve already happened struck me. Can I go to a confession if I’m not catholic?
You won’t be able to receive confession if your aren’t a baptized Catholic, but you should be able to reach out to the priest to set up a 1-on-1 meeting. God bless!
@@timothyfreeman97 I believe we can peaceably agree to disagree on whos orders and sacraments are valid or not. I would not spend time on a fruitless argument such as that one. Peace be with you brother.
A wonderful and important conversation, I was brought to the catholic faith within the last year and it continues to fill me with something money can not and never will buy ! i used to think money could buy everything.... I will always remember the day i stopped being afraid of the "god" element of the 12 steps... I now no longer shy away from this topic ! YOU CANT FIX YOURSELF !
The discussion around 1:17:00 about drawing boundaries around irresistible temptations, and the whole “can’t do that” inner circle…that hit home for me, and it’s truly uncomfortable. I would say, that’s our idolatry circle, and it’s exquisitely personalized. Lord have mercy.
This is a controversial opinion, but I think therapy is sometimes overrated. I wouldn't discourage one from going to therapy, but I'm not sure how efficacious it is when it comes to porn and masturbation. Mostly because these academics are so involved in sin that they don't even believe that one can even be addicted to porn or masturbation.
Been sober from drugs and alcohol for 2 and a half years. Haven't been able to quit nicotine and porn. In my experience, the 2 defining characteristics. Willingness and consequences. The willingness to stop hasn't been as strong because the consequences are not perceivably as severe or life threatening as drugs and alcohol. You don't wake up in a strange place hungover and unaware after you've watched porn. You don't get a DUI or overdose from a cigarette. Not justifying or condoning. Only sharing my experience. It's been tough.
@@brianwalsh7352 as good as that sounds, I've been without vape for 1 month and porn for about 3 months now. At the end of the day my friends, what I've learned is that it's God's grace. It's no special formula.
I appreciate the effort, but it would be perfect if you put a sort of index with talking points to seek arguments.. in a long interview it'd be great! Sorry for my english, God bless you.
Does anyone know of any groups or programs for specifically women struggling with masturbation+porn? It seems like so much of it is for men. I really dont relate to much of the advice given from that perspective but I need help cant do this alone.
first off, excellent interview. Thank you both for your candidness. However, the question about how do we be intimate with God if He doesn't laugh, respond, speak, hug us, etc is one of the biggest ones out there. The response concerning Jesus' face on the shroud doesn't even begin to cut it, since none us would be satisfied interacting with a smushed face on a linen cloth in any other context. The response that Jesus came in a body also doesn't cut it, given none of us have the privilege ourselves of interacting with Him in that body. The response that we just need to imagine xyz? Why do we need to imagine a relationship/interaction if the One we are trying to have the relationship with is supposed to be the most real/satisfying one that exists? Wanting a letter from your wife over hugging another human? This only makes ANY sense if you have had lots of actual physical in-person time with your wife and will have it again. To be alone and satisfied with a piece of paper doesn't cut it either. I haven't heard a good answer to this question from anyone, and I personally continue to be confounded by interaction with and prayer to God, as far and away the majority of the time, I would have the exact same experience simply talking to myself. A human father who never tangibly interacts with his children when they come to him would lead those children to become pretty messed up adults. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Also, a LOT of celibate people, while they may not be "completely miserable all the time" certainly would attest to being pretty miserable a lot of the time, unless they are extremely particularly gifted. Having friends that you part ways with after the fun is over but then go home alone yet again every night......doesn't cut it.
The devil seeks to destroy people through one of the seven deadly sins. For some, it's greed, for others it's lust. A ardent daily prayer life is the best defense, but the devil will try to distract you. First he'll tell you: "It's okay to skip prayer, there's a important football game on" which leads to the devil whispering in your ear: "it's okay to just look at bikini pictures." Within 2 days of that, you will be back at square 1.
The SLAA description here is NOT accurate from my experience. It also came off as dismissive. It is extremely important to be careful about making generalities if you are not a regular, attending member of a particular 12 step group yourself.
Traditionalists should know better than to reject or critise saints as its a mortal sin and if you are led away from the church because of your desire ....then you that is the wrong way.
@@learnbibleversethroughpict6027 The verse reads: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” I don't see humbleness as a synonym with gratitude. Maybe I am wrong. Although in no way is gratitude opposed to humbleness.
I can’t break free of it. I’ve tried countless times, consecrations and novenas, self help and podcasts like these, etc. I can’t do covenant eyes because I have no one in my life who would act as a sponsor, and I’d be too ashamed or embarrassed to ask a stranger. I also wouldn’t pay to stop an addiction that is ultimately free and helps to sate the constant loneliness of a single young man’s life. I think maybe we ought to consider that as damaging as porn is, there are cases where it is permissible even if it’s not encouraged.
Don’t quit! Keep praying for freedom and going to confession. We all struggle with some kind of vice but we cannot give in to our temptations and let our vices control us. Failing is part of the battle but when you fall you must get back up admit that you have sinned, repent and ask for forgiveness. The path to freedom is a journey and not a destination and we cannot fall into a state of despair no matter how many times we fall.
@@Tyler-qx2jqwhen I ask for forgiveness in confession, I only feel more and more like a hypocrite, and I know that my act of contrition is not being said honestly, because I always know I’ll go back to it. Between now and the time of the original comment, I gave in several times, despite even trying the resources offered by Matt in strive. No, some people can’t be saved.
I think you really need to take into consideration what you are saying when you say you can’t be saved, as Jesus Christ gave his life for your eternal salvation. Maybe Matt’s strive program isn’t working for you but that is no reason to just hang it up fall into despair. There are many other actions you could take, such as the ones discussed in this video by Fr. Kilcawley. Keep in mind Matthew 5 29-30 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. Maybe you just need to get rid of your internet access entirely, or maybe switch to a clam phone that doesn’t have internet but we should keep searching for something that works for keeping us out of sin. Remember the only way that the evil one wins is by you falling into despair and not asking for forgiveness, even if you don’t feel that you want to give up the sin pray that you want to want to begin to give up the sin. Lastly I just want to say that just because you fall into the same sin again doesn’t make you a hypocrite, as long as your intention is to stop committing the sin and you strive to become free of it you are not a hypocrite. I will for sure be praying for you and I will keep monitoring the comments.
@@Tyler-qx2jq I think I'm just a hypocrite then, because I know it is better for a part of me to die than all of me to go to hell, but I still choose damnation for my own temporal pleasure, to alleviate my loneliness. I can't let go of the good things I have. Even with fre will, I'm a slave to sin. This is despair, Christ cannot save someone who themselves are to weak to help themselves.
I understand where you are coming from trust me, I’ve struggled with this very issue. I hope that you continue to pray on this, I just want you to know that Christ still desires you. I know that you might feel like all hope is lost but what really helped me when I first started to quit was praying a rosary every single day along with regular confession but it still isn’t easy. I think a lot of people like to make it sound a lot easier than it is but to break free of this requires a lot of prayer and work and the temptation is still there from time to time. It’s a day to day battle, some days are very easy, some days are a battle. It is your prerogative if you want to choose sin and allow it to own you, but if you want some additional resources I would also recommend listening to Fr Ripperger to help in the realm of spiritual warfare. I want you to once again know that Christ still desires you and that I will be praying for you. God bless you
"Doing something new." That's a scary statement by this priest. "Doing something new" is one of the many reasons the Church is in such bad shape today, especially all of the heretical and sacrilegious novelties in the liturgy.
Once again, men are the bad guys and women are the virtuous heroines. What if the woman you are going to marry does not tell you she is an obnoxious shrew? I’m sick to death of male-bashing, wherever it comes from.
T MM The section beginning with revealing your sexual sins to your spouse. The starting point is of course men. And when Matt tries to talk about women having problems with pornography notice how quickly the priest gets back on track with the guilty men. There is something about this priest I don’t like at all - maybe shown most clearly in his having a female therapist! Fr. Mike Schmitz in his talks on practical virtue also gives in to bashing men and always valorizing women. Even the best priests it seems cannot get out of the seminary without some degree of feminist indoctrination.
@@ransomcoates546 You seem pretty upset, which I think is leading you to interpret things ungraciously. He probably said "he" because that's what he hear more frequently as a confessor/pastor. He also said he deals with seminarians, so that narrows it down too. I also don't see where women are being valorized?
ChaZarudo You did not hear the longish section about men revealing their sexual sins and struggles to their wives? He was certainly not talking about seminarians there. Matt, I think, specifically remarked that women can have such struggles too because he felt the conversation was becoming too one-sided. And as I observed, before you knew it we were back to men. It’s a persistent form of gender political correctness in the modern Church.
I certainly don't like your way of expressing it, and have not heard the podcast yet. However, I get your point. At least it seems there is a tendency to highlight all the negative sides of men, while all women are put aside as the innocent victims. In the theme of pornography, well, it makes sense: men are certainly more prone to it. But when it comes, say, to the institution of marriage, there's guilt at both sides, but I seldom see people pointing out how women can be as sinful as men can be, and how cruel they can get as well. When a married men gets addicted to pornography, he is to blame because he gives way to It. But do we raise the question about how his wife might be acting for him to seek refuge in so grave a sin? It is surely not always the case, but it is rare to see the flip side of the coin being mentioned. Almost as if we are afraid of saying bad things about women.
There is this thing called....Science. Why one would ever try to understand the world through outdated ideas by Ideologies that have a really bad track in getting things right?
With all Matt Fradd’s eloquent research into the shame of pornography and its humiliation and objectification of women, he makes no comment on biblical sexual violence. Mr. Fraud create a video in which you read aloud _Ezekiel 16 and 23_ to your Catholic audience, I dare you.
aren't those two chapters metaphorical? Or am I mis-remembering. Don't both of them start out saying the women actually represent such-and-such cities?
@@maxspringer01 You are remembering accurately. The chapters are commonly referred to as the Ezekiel _"marriage allegories."_ The author of Ezekiel does indicate at the beginning of each chapter to receiving a Devine dictation from God. The passages depict sexual violence, child marriage to God himself, and the torture and murder of rape victims. Whoever wrote these passages had a grotesque view of physical intimacy and marriage relationships. IMHO
@@SergeantSkeptic686 Oh, I didn't know they were referred to that way, although it makes sense that there would be some kind of phrase used to reference them. I've since read them, and, yes, they are rough and grotesque chapters. However, is it accurate to say they depict child marriage? At least with the version of the verses I read, the English translation seems to refer to them as "women" or "grew up and matured" and then "old enough for love". Can a child be considered "matured"? I definitely see the murder, but what are you referring to when you say "rape victims"? Are you saying it depicts that God raped them? Or are you calling the women's prostituting of themselves rape? I wonder what allegorical things all this stuff is actually referring to? Sorry, I'm just reading these afresh and thinking out loud here.
@@maxspringer01 There is so much sexual violence in Ezekiel it’s hard to keep it all straight. I’m referring to Ezekiel chapter 16 starting at verse six. *(Note: there is no claim this is a historical event, it is an allegory depicting sin)* God finds an abandon female infant and marry’s that child when she grows breasts and pubic hair. All the stuff about spreading out a garment are Old Testament euphemisms for a sexual relationship. God’s marries and has a sexual relationship with a girl just entering puberty. The girl becomes a whore representing sin and God gets really mad. Ultimately God only becomes calm again after a mob strips his wife naked and murders her with swords. (Ezekiel 16:39-41) I’m not sure what kind of sin justifies this allegorical sexual violence. I suspect it’s not the word of God, but the word of some very angry oppressed ancient man. Check out my CZcams channel for more information.
@@SergeantSkeptic686 thanks for your explanation. I guess in chapter 16 when I see the phrase "old enough for love", then it doesn't mean child marriage. If a child is not old enough for love, then a child relationship is not what's being described. Having said that, I sure would have written these differently if I were the one writing them......I'll check out your CZcams channel - thanks.
35:00 This hit me like a truck. The three months of summer in which I actively worked were proof that the temptation does vanish in periods of activity. But the moment I left work, I experienced a highly similar thing which the Fr. described here. I need to learn more about that.
THIS IS MY PARISH PRIEST!!!
Lucky
Lucky XD
I am watching Father Sean's RCIA presentations which he is posting on his CZcams Channel.
You're really lucky. Not that my parish priest is bad but the clarity of mind and humanity fr. Kilcawly is really inspiring
You are so blessed!
We have Father Derek Lappe at Our Lady Star of the Sea in Bremerton WA.
I would so love to have Father Kilcawly trade with Father Lappe on one of his many Parish Missions. Lent some year would be awesome!!!
God’s deep peace and Love...
Always.....
John
This was an excellent interview. I struggled with this since I was 10 years old. It became progressive and out of control. I finally allowed the Lord to come into those halls of darkness and heal me. God has graced me with over a year sobriety. There are days that the temptation is not even there. Only by God's grace. As a Patron, Matt, thank you for this interview and your ministry!
I hear stories like this and it destroys me because I feel like I'm not being given this same treatment. It can't have been that easy for you.
@@KethenGoesHam You are not alone; it's a weekly or even daily struggle for me too and, though it has improved, it's not gone yet. I believe the "journey" is part of the test... we are not meant to get out of this easily, lest we take it for granted. I have hope though!
@@KethenGoesHam maybe he made it sound too easy for him and didn’t give all the details as to what he went through and how. You can make it. Keep seeking the original trauma/open door. It is often a lot younger than we remember. The Holy Spirit will help you keep inviting Him into your pain for freedom. Deliverance, therapy Jesus paid the price and made the way out for you. He loves you. You are not a second class citizen to him. Ephesians chapter 1.👑
Pornography ought to be illegal. It used to be.
No one thinks making it illegal would end the sin problem. But it would keep a LOT of kids safer through their early developing years. And would move the Overton window towards sanity
I tjo kids shouldn't be aloud to have phones or electronics. The reason gen z is so bad is cuz the phones exposes them to so much
It would be a great deterrent, especially if the penalty was severe.
I had to look up what the Overton Window was, and when I did, it reminded me of the UK government's current ideas regarding what constitutes extreme pornography. They decided to allow more perverse and harsh actions in pornography so that fewer images/videos would be seen as extreme and fewer people would end up being prosecuted. All that happens is that people are better able to become desensitised to cruelty and depravity, with all the ramifications of that. You're absolutely right to use the word "sanity" - our current laws are anything but.
Lol have fun. I don't regard laws as anything more than suggestions anyway. Anything one can get away with is to be commended in this teetering world. I take pride in being under the radar and doing what I want.
Let me inform the local drug dealers 😅
“Mercy only comes when we are prepared to receive justice.” Oooooompf. That was a knockout reminder, folks.
Father’s analogy of your addiction being your best friend is a great perspective change
I’m finding so much fulfillment in your podcast, Matt. You are authentic and honest. Your guests are helping me get closer to Jesus.
I've been free for two years and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and my marriage.
Stand guard and God protect you
How can I help someone struggling? My boyfriend has a problem and he refuses to admit it saying he does have a problem and how do I get him to recognize the issue?
@@catlady7183 he needs to understand that he's hurting you and that he's telling you, through his actions, that you aren't enough.
He may also want to consider the grave immorality of it. Many of those women are trafficked, abused and sexually assaulted.
I don't see it as something that can be consumed with a clear conscience. I'm unsure of how to get another person to confront something like this other than by showing them the harm inflicted.
I will pray for you.
@@catlady7183 to be blunt... if he does not care about your well being enough to fight for you and to consider your worth, feelings and human dignity... then you may be better off elsewhere.
@@WhiskyJax thank you so much for this. I thought about breaking up with him cuz he never wants to hear what I say or is aware of how many ppl r hurt from it for his own desires. Whenever I try to talk to him about God he never wants to hear it and idk what to do
This is the best talk I have ever heard about Porn! Blessings!
It’s the best talk about anything
I met Fr. Sean on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land in 2013. Meeting him changed my life. He is such a blessing. May God Bless him and his work.
Honesty + honesty + honesty = healing
This conversation touched me in a different way. Thank you for this one.
"I need to pray as if I'm a sinner who needs to surrender my life to God. I don't need to pray as if I'm a mystic who just has a porn problem on the side every three weeks" OOF
needs to, or else WHAT?
@@jjgeoffphhcinkklleeenslavement
Fr. :“We live in a new culture…”
I’D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE MY NEW BOOK!!!
Fr. : 👀👀👀👀😀
"but is it a *weighted* cassock?"
Fellas, I hollered out loud laughing. This interview has been tremendously helpful and edifying for me in my own struggles. Thank you.
The prayer I was taught was:
O pure heart of Mary, Help me stay pure; heart, mind, and body.
This is the best talk on pornography (and the best video on your channel largely) I have ever listened to
I know you guys know this, but I really think you should not always phrase this as a man looking at porn and hurting his wife or girlfriend or whatever. My girlfriend has had tremendous struggles with pornography for many reasons stemming from personal traumas throughout life. She is open about it with me, but it still seems like something shameful for her, she feels like a man because she looks at porn and that creates the shame cycle you guys mentioned. I just think it would be really helpful for her and women like her to hear more about the FACT that this effects many other women as well.
He had Sr Miriam on his show recently! She’s given quite a few talks on her sexually abusive past and her resulting addiction to pornography, maybe your girlfriend would really appreciate a female approach 🙂. From what other commenters have pointed out, it seems like they’re generally talking about it being a man because they’ve both been in that situation themselves, and maybe they forget to always include women in the approach unless they’re specifically addressing female pornography use. I’ll pray for your girlfriend!
I have good news for you guys, one of the recent interviews is on this very topic.
OMG Love him!! He came to Benedictine College this year, gave a talk, and made everyone cry!! I'm still wrecked!! I love him!!!! yess!!!
Matt, Fr. Kilcawley is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! O how long this world has been waiting for his specific ministry!!! Praise Jesus and Mary for this priest! He should start his own podcast too! haha 😃👊🏻. Thank you so much Matt for serving Our Lord and Church. God bless!
Search for his name on CZcams. There are more videos from him not just from his channel but video posts from various churches and groups across the US.
Thanks brother! Will do, Elod! Thanks man! 😊👍🏻
You can also watch his RCIA presentations on his CZcams Channel.
@@artkovach8454 Thanks for the heads up, Art!! I’ll check it out. The world needs more open honesty on this most evil scourge destroying humanity. 🙏🏻
Your challenge on what constitutes a lie was very apt and the fact that Father didn't get it was concerning... To lie is to speak a falsehood. It's not lying to omit to say something. That may be immoral based on the circumstance, but that doesn't make it a lie. This is a super basic definition and without it it's impossible to speak precisely about these things. The fact that he offered to bring up the catechism (which would have proved him wrong, so props to you for sparing him the embarrassment) also left a bad taste in my mouth, because not only is he wrong about something, it's something he's willing to bet he's right about it.
As a traditionalist some of what Father says here is challenging, and it's a good challenge. On the other hand, there is a theme you've been bringing up, Matt, over the past few months, about whether contemporary Catholic speakers are just psychologizing. I don't think any of your guests has given satisfying defense.
edit: around 1 hour and 5 minutes he started saying really useful things so I partially rescind
An old video, but as of this year: I have been using Covenant Eyes for over a year now, renounced Satan and sinfulness through conversion to Catholicism (since Easter Vigil, April 8th!)
Since conversion, I have been tempted, yes...but I have no desire to sin that sin anymore. I have not sinned in lust since, and I give all honor and glory to God the Father, because He equips all of us who desire to be free from that sin (and all sins) with the angels and saints' prayers and intercessions, most importantly and chiefest of saints: The Blessed Virgin Mary (whom I love ever-so dearly and adore her Immaculate Heart!). Thanks be to God.
This is the faith. This is Holy Mother Church. Please repent/renounce your sins, and believe in The Gospel.
Pax Christi. Ave Maris Stella.
Be safe everyone. Praying for their journeys towards healing and renouncing the sin of lust/sexual immorality. It is truly a deadly sin.
34:53
Escaping into non-existence, that's a brilliant observation
Amazing interview. So much to take to heart. Thank you Fr & Matt 🙏🏼
Thank you so much for your wisdom father Sean. Just within the first 10 minutes you helped me realize that I was bemoaning and complaining about things that other people have done that hurt my heart deeply, all while doing the same thing to God when I ran to sin in response to the pain. Bless you for all your work.
My best friend for 10 years of my life and helped me through my parents divorce and that other difficult time and when I lost my job, I now have to say to that best friend that I don’t want to be friends anymore.
That’s such a beautiful way to look at it :) thank you
This priest has a great smile.
I’m not catholic but this guy made me want to be. To be fair, I have sought help from my church/leadership.
The part where he talked about people not being able to pray it away otherwise it would’ve already happened struck me.
Can I go to a confession if I’m not catholic?
You won’t be able to receive confession if your aren’t a baptized Catholic, but you should be able to reach out to the priest to set up a 1-on-1 meeting.
God bless!
I'm sure just about any priest would be happy to talk. And you'd feel a lot better. Take care ;)
Lutheran or Anglican churches often do confession, so if you are seeking confession outside the Roman Catholic church there are options. Shalom!
@@codyc2344 invalid Sacraments from invalid Holy Orders. I'm sorry, bro. I'm not trying to sound harsh.
Pax 🇻🇦✝️🕊
@@timothyfreeman97 I believe we can peaceably agree to disagree on whos orders and sacraments are valid or not. I would not spend time on a fruitless argument such as that one. Peace be with you brother.
A wonderful and important conversation, I was brought to the catholic faith within the last year and it continues to fill me with something money can not and never will buy ! i used to think money could buy everything.... I will always remember the day i stopped being afraid of the "god" element of the 12 steps... I now no longer shy away from this topic ! YOU CANT FIX YOURSELF !
Matt you are really good in asking questions and through that bringing us nearer to the actual point of matter.
Love the podcast. Thank you!
The discussion around 1:17:00 about drawing boundaries around irresistible temptations, and the whole “can’t do that” inner circle…that hit home for me, and it’s truly uncomfortable. I would say, that’s our idolatry circle, and it’s exquisitely personalized. Lord have mercy.
This episode is absolutely phenomenal, Fr. Sean is brilliant!
Idea for a debate: Jason Everts vs a pornographer on the morality of pornography
Better idea, Jason Evert and others at the state capitals explaining why pornography ought to be made illegal-again.
Oh man. I needed this wisdom and insight so badly
I’d like to echo Fradd’s frequent recommendation for sexaholics anonymous.
May we turn to the infinite mercy of our Lord. Glory to Jesus Christ!
I was healed through the Sacraments , therapy and consecration to Jesus through Mary.
This is a wonderful talk. Real.
I've listened to this discussion twice; it's great! So much gold here. 💛
This is a controversial opinion, but I think therapy is sometimes overrated. I wouldn't discourage one from going to therapy, but I'm not sure how efficacious it is when it comes to porn and masturbation. Mostly because these academics are so involved in sin that they don't even believe that one can even be addicted to porn or masturbation.
Because they're all JEWWWWZ, right??? Lol you nutbags.
Been sober from drugs and alcohol for 2 and a half years. Haven't been able to quit nicotine and porn. In my experience, the 2 defining characteristics. Willingness and consequences. The willingness to stop hasn't been as strong because the consequences are not perceivably as severe or life threatening as drugs and alcohol. You don't wake up in a strange place hungover and unaware after you've watched porn. You don't get a DUI or overdose from a cigarette. Not justifying or condoning. Only sharing my experience. It's been tough.
Yeah agree. The consequences are not physical. But they are VERY REAL nonetheless! Keep up the battle 👍
@@brianwalsh7352 as good as that sounds, I've been without vape for 1 month and porn for about 3 months now. At the end of the day my friends, what I've learned is that it's God's grace. It's no special formula.
@@brianwalsh7352 it's a fine line. I want to say, "I respond to his grace". Not that I did something.
But with drugs and alcohol, porn, and nicotine, it was paradox that really saved me. A real understanding of powerlessness.
God bless this Father
This is very refreshing. Glory to God
Thank you! Great interview
Did marriage encounter with Father. One of the best priests I have ever met.
Very helpful talk
According to this guy you shouldn’t ever talk to your spouse without two therapists present. What an absolute joke. He’s a therapy addict.
that aint what he said
@@jc_dogen it is.
@@sharptakes1662 he said that was ideal. i watched the video today..
I appreciate the effort, but it would be perfect if you put a sort of index with talking points to seek arguments.. in a long interview it'd be great! Sorry for my english, God bless you.
Does anyone know of any groups or programs for specifically women struggling with masturbation+porn? It seems like so much of it is for men. I really dont relate to much of the advice given from that perspective but I need help cant do this alone.
You have this: www.magdalaministries.org/
Matt interviewed its founder, some days ago
That explains why I had the wet dreams. Thanks!
first off, excellent interview. Thank you both for your candidness. However, the question about how do we be intimate with God if He doesn't laugh, respond, speak, hug us, etc is one of the biggest ones out there. The response concerning Jesus' face on the shroud doesn't even begin to cut it, since none us would be satisfied interacting with a smushed face on a linen cloth in any other context. The response that Jesus came in a body also doesn't cut it, given none of us have the privilege ourselves of interacting with Him in that body. The response that we just need to imagine xyz? Why do we need to imagine a relationship/interaction if the One we are trying to have the relationship with is supposed to be the most real/satisfying one that exists? Wanting a letter from your wife over hugging another human? This only makes ANY sense if you have had lots of actual physical in-person time with your wife and will have it again. To be alone and satisfied with a piece of paper doesn't cut it either. I haven't heard a good answer to this question from anyone, and I personally continue to be confounded by interaction with and prayer to God, as far and away the majority of the time, I would have the exact same experience simply talking to myself. A human father who never tangibly interacts with his children when they come to him would lead those children to become pretty messed up adults. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Also, a LOT of celibate people, while they may not be "completely miserable all the time" certainly would attest to being pretty miserable a lot of the time, unless they are extremely particularly gifted. Having friends that you part ways with after the fun is over but then go home alone yet again every night......doesn't cut it.
The devil seeks to destroy people through one of the seven deadly sins. For some, it's greed, for others it's lust. A ardent daily prayer life is the best defense, but the devil will try to distract you. First he'll tell you: "It's okay to skip prayer, there's a important football game on" which leads to the devil whispering in your ear: "it's okay to just look at bikini pictures." Within 2 days of that, you will be back at square 1.
Thank God for the priesthood.
I need to find help....a 12 step program and counseling for my husband. I don't know where to go. We want it to be Catholic based.
Sean kilcawley well he's definitely Irish 😂😂
The SLAA description here is NOT accurate from my experience. It also came off as dismissive. It is extremely important to be careful about making generalities if you are not a regular, attending member of a particular 12 step group yourself.
Traditionalists should know better than to reject or critise saints as its a mortal sin and if you are led away from the church because of your desire ....then you that is the wrong way.
Father Sean, your cheeks must be tired from smiling so much.
It's the existence of the technology.
Can anyone point me in the direction of more about "gratitude is the opposite of pride"?
“Story of a Soul”, St. Thèrése of Lisuièux
Nicklas
Read📖 James 4:6
@@learnbibleversethroughpict6027 The verse reads: “God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”
I don't see humbleness as a synonym with gratitude. Maybe I am wrong. Although in no way is gratitude opposed to humbleness.
@@jamesdelap4085 I don't understand what you mean with this comment. Sorry.
@@NicklasNylander87 No need to say sorry🥰 Humbleness make you closer to God.
To myself it's "we're being conditioned." This isn't that obvious. But that doesn't answer the question, right? :)
I can’t break free of it. I’ve tried countless times, consecrations and novenas, self help and podcasts like these, etc. I can’t do covenant eyes because I have no one in my life who would act as a sponsor, and I’d be too ashamed or embarrassed to ask a stranger. I also wouldn’t pay to stop an addiction that is ultimately free and helps to sate the constant loneliness of a single young man’s life. I think maybe we ought to consider that as damaging as porn is, there are cases where it is permissible even if it’s not encouraged.
Don’t quit! Keep praying for freedom and going to confession. We all struggle with some kind of vice but we cannot give in to our temptations and let our vices control us. Failing is part of the battle but when you fall you must get back up admit that you have sinned, repent and ask for forgiveness. The path to freedom is a journey and not a destination and we cannot fall into a state of despair no matter how many times we fall.
@@Tyler-qx2jqwhen I ask for forgiveness in confession, I only feel more and more like a hypocrite, and I know that my act of contrition is not being said honestly, because I always know I’ll go back to it. Between now and the time of the original comment, I gave in several times, despite even trying the resources offered by Matt in strive. No, some people can’t be saved.
I think you really need to take into consideration what you are saying when you say you can’t be saved, as Jesus Christ gave his life for your eternal salvation. Maybe Matt’s strive program isn’t working for you but that is no reason to just hang it up fall into despair. There are many other actions you could take, such as the ones discussed in this video by Fr. Kilcawley. Keep in mind Matthew 5 29-30 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. Maybe you just need to get rid of your internet access entirely, or maybe switch to a clam phone that doesn’t have internet but we should keep searching for something that works for keeping us out of sin. Remember the only way that the evil one wins is by you falling into despair and not asking for forgiveness, even if you don’t feel that you want to give up the sin pray that you want to want to begin to give up the sin. Lastly I just want to say that just because you fall into the same sin again doesn’t make you a hypocrite, as long as your intention is to stop committing the sin and you strive to become free of it you are not a hypocrite. I will for sure be praying for you and I will keep monitoring the comments.
@@Tyler-qx2jq I think I'm just a hypocrite then, because I know it is better for a part of me to die than all of me to go to hell, but I still choose damnation for my own temporal pleasure, to alleviate my loneliness. I can't let go of the good things I have. Even with fre will, I'm a slave to sin. This is despair, Christ cannot save someone who themselves are to weak to help themselves.
I understand where you are coming from trust me, I’ve struggled with this very issue. I hope that you continue to pray on this, I just want you to know that Christ still desires you. I know that you might feel like all hope is lost but what really helped me when I first started to quit was praying a rosary every single day along with regular confession but it still isn’t easy. I think a lot of people like to make it sound a lot easier than it is but to break free of this requires a lot of prayer and work and the temptation is still there from time to time. It’s a day to day battle, some days are very easy, some days are a battle. It is your prerogative if you want to choose sin and allow it to own you, but if you want some additional resources I would also recommend listening to Fr Ripperger to help in the realm of spiritual warfare. I want you to once again know that Christ still desires you and that I will be praying for you. God bless you
"Doing something new." That's a scary statement by this priest. "Doing something new" is one of the many reasons the Church is in such bad shape today, especially all of the heretical and sacrilegious novelties in the liturgy.
No honestly, apart from physical weakness, that's all there is to it: conditioning ;)
1:16:48
Forth 😇💫
Life’s not a race
background sound on halo add is bad
I've gone 6+ months no M on multiple occasions and I've never ever had a wet dream ... Ever.
Trigger warning
Third
Life’s not a race
@@alexsadventures66 Sometimes
First
Life’s not a race
Once again, men are the bad guys and women are the virtuous heroines. What if the woman you are going to marry does not tell you she is an obnoxious shrew? I’m sick to death of male-bashing, wherever it comes from.
Not sure what part of the video that you’re referring to. Would you explain ( or provide a minute mark on the video)?
T MM The section beginning with revealing your sexual sins to your spouse. The starting point is of course men. And when Matt tries to talk about women having problems with pornography notice how quickly the priest gets back on track with the guilty men. There is something about this priest I don’t like at all - maybe shown most clearly in his having a female therapist! Fr. Mike Schmitz in his talks on practical virtue also gives in to bashing men and always valorizing women. Even the best priests it seems cannot get out of the seminary without some degree of feminist indoctrination.
@@ransomcoates546 You seem pretty upset, which I think is leading you to interpret things ungraciously. He probably said "he" because that's what he hear more frequently as a confessor/pastor. He also said he deals with seminarians, so that narrows it down too. I also don't see where women are being valorized?
ChaZarudo You did not hear the longish section about men revealing their sexual sins and struggles to their wives? He was certainly not talking about seminarians there. Matt, I think, specifically remarked that women can have such struggles too because he felt the conversation was becoming too one-sided. And as I observed, before you knew it we were back to men. It’s a persistent form of gender political correctness in the modern Church.
I certainly don't like your way of expressing it, and have not heard the podcast yet. However, I get your point. At least it seems there is a tendency to highlight all the negative sides of men, while all women are put aside as the innocent victims.
In the theme of pornography, well, it makes sense: men are certainly more prone to it. But when it comes, say, to the institution of marriage, there's guilt at both sides, but I seldom see people pointing out how women can be as sinful as men can be, and how cruel they can get as well.
When a married men gets addicted to pornography, he is to blame because he gives way to It. But do we raise the question about how his wife might be acting for him to seek refuge in so grave a sin? It is surely not always the case, but it is rare to see the flip side of the coin being mentioned. Almost as if we are afraid of saying bad things about women.
There is this thing called....Science. Why one would ever try to understand the world through outdated ideas by Ideologies that have a really bad track in getting things right?
Which things?
Science???? Omg I have never heard of such a thing. Thank you! 🤯🤯🤯
With all Matt Fradd’s eloquent research into the shame of pornography and its humiliation and objectification of women, he makes no comment on biblical sexual violence. Mr. Fraud create a video in which you read aloud _Ezekiel 16 and 23_ to your Catholic audience, I dare you.
aren't those two chapters metaphorical? Or am I mis-remembering. Don't both of them start out saying the women actually represent such-and-such cities?
@@maxspringer01 You are remembering accurately. The chapters are commonly referred to as the Ezekiel _"marriage allegories."_ The author of Ezekiel does indicate at the beginning of each chapter to receiving a Devine dictation from God. The passages depict sexual violence, child marriage to God himself, and the torture and murder of rape victims. Whoever wrote these passages had a grotesque view of physical intimacy and marriage relationships. IMHO
@@SergeantSkeptic686 Oh, I didn't know they were referred to that way, although it makes sense that there would be some kind of phrase used to reference them. I've since read them, and, yes, they are rough and grotesque chapters.
However, is it accurate to say they depict child marriage? At least with the version of the verses I read, the English translation seems to refer to them as "women" or "grew up and matured" and then "old enough for love". Can a child be considered "matured"?
I definitely see the murder, but what are you referring to when you say "rape victims"? Are you saying it depicts that God raped them? Or are you calling the women's prostituting of themselves rape? I wonder what allegorical things all this stuff is actually referring to? Sorry, I'm just reading these afresh and thinking out loud here.
@@maxspringer01 There is so much sexual violence in Ezekiel it’s hard to keep it all straight. I’m referring to Ezekiel chapter 16 starting at verse six. *(Note: there is no claim this is a historical event, it is an allegory depicting sin)* God finds an abandon female infant and marry’s that child when she grows breasts and pubic hair. All the stuff about spreading out a garment are Old Testament euphemisms for a sexual relationship. God’s marries and has a sexual relationship with a girl just entering puberty. The girl becomes a whore representing sin and God gets really mad. Ultimately God only becomes calm again after a mob strips his wife naked and murders her with swords. (Ezekiel 16:39-41) I’m not sure what kind of sin justifies this allegorical sexual violence. I suspect it’s not the word of God, but the word of some very angry oppressed ancient man. Check out my CZcams channel for more information.
@@SergeantSkeptic686 thanks for your explanation. I guess in chapter 16 when I see the phrase "old enough for love", then it doesn't mean child marriage. If a child is not old enough for love, then a child relationship is not what's being described. Having said that, I sure would have written these differently if I were the one writing them......I'll check out your CZcams channel - thanks.
35:00 This hit me like a truck. The three months of summer in which I actively worked were proof that the temptation does vanish in periods of activity. But the moment I left work, I experienced a highly similar thing which the Fr. described here. I need to learn more about that.