Marriage, Todays Culture, and Catholic Living w/ Jackie Francois Angel
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- čas přidán 1. 07. 2024
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0:00 Start
5:28 Puka shells and the 90s
10:41 Why is Australia now the new north
11:46 Parenthood
18:53 Temperaments
27:34 Community and social media
37:05 Pornography
43:22 Marriage
52:48 Friendship
55:01 Marriage continued
1:07:39 Radical feminism (and discernment)
1:18:18 Conversations with Jackie and Bobby podcast
1:20:53 Pet peeves
1:28:29 Video podcast on human formation
1:29:31 Martial relationship (Start of Q&A)
1:33:18 Children in mass
1:39:20 Raising teenagers with a non-Catholic spouse
1:42:42 Advice for engaged couples
1:48:00 Navigating miscarriage
1:53:00 Fostering
1:56:32 Consecrated life
1:58:41 Today’s Culture (and the birds and the bees)
2:09:33 Wrap-up - Zábava
you did a great great job and thank you so much for buying me CANDY - Avila Grace Fradd
:D 💚
Show Matt after hid interview the other day and he spoke about how much he hates how people chew ice
czcams.com/users/shortsJ-6-GSc-Gh4?feature=share
I used to be sad that I wasn’t married then I noticed how challenging it is, even healthy Catholic marriages. Years ago I realized that marriage is like anything in this world, challenging. Since then it’s been confirmed many many times and I don’t feel bad about being single anymore. If God wants me to be married I need to be ready to give of myself and put someone else before me. I must be ready for a beautiful challenge.
I think it's normal to feel sad in any state of life, married or single. We all feel that way from time to time. I'm currently also unmarried but I believe that marriage has the potential to make two people very happy. It takes letting go of fear though, embracing it, not everyone is ready for that. And of course the right person has to come along. Patience in waiting. I much desire to give my love, if marriage is your call you will receive it, if not you will be called to give love in other ways. The vast majority of people are called for marriage though. One thing is for sure, we aren't here only for ourselves, we are here for community, loving each other and not just ourselves.
I’ve seen so many people who were not ready at all or still aren’t ready, yet they’re still in relationships or end up married. But if you aren’t ready then you’re just not ready. 🤷♂️
@@467076 to be fair, no one is truly 100 percent ready for that, but some people are more or less ready, especially once they are well adjusted adults who are able to live independently
Marriage is beautiful, but it's also the method of sanctification for you and your spouse, a sort of "way of the cross". Living with another person is hard, like being in a rock tumbler; you'll polish out each other's imperfections. But that polishing can be painful. Make God your central focus no matter what. Try to heal as many wounds as possible prior to a relationship, more will emerge, for sure... God bless your journey
@@mariemunzar6474 what about the people that get married at like 18 though? I'm sure they weren't ready, or would you say is more of a if the lord says you're ready. But yes, I agree no one is 100 percent ready.
Big hugs to snifflers who are in tears because they are so moved by the Eucharist but aren't in a position to leave the Church to find a tissue. Know that I love your sniffles! Your whispers to the Lord, tears, and clinking rosary beads give me extra stamina to desire holiness.
Loving this discussion. My wife and I have been together for 59 years. We have 7 grandsons. We were a team for the Catholic marriage preparation program Engaged Encounter for 15 years. It was a great experience for us and for the couples who participated especially those who for the first time realized the seriousness of marriage and decided to not get married.
I'm glad she says kids ages 1-3 is hard. I just had my fourth, we now have four under four years old. Helps me adjust my personal expectations ☺️
I have 3 under 4 and am dying lol. Congratulations on your 4th!
You both are doing amazing!^_^
What a Godly woman. I got the chance to meet her at A stuebenville conference in 2018. That retreat the Holy Spirit changed me forever. I’m very blessed to have gotten to meet her. She also prayed over my self-harm scars and told me not to be ashamed of them- ‘Everyone has scars, some people have them on their skin. Be a witness of just how great Gods love is.’ Thank you for being an instrument of Gods peace and speaking it to our youth. I’m now 23, married with a one year old, never before that retreat did I believe my life could be so fruitful-Thanks be to God!
what do you mean by she prayed over...
How do you know she is a Godly woman?
Love Jackie Angel! First heard her speak nine years ago at a Stuebenville conference right before she was married!
It's so true what Jackie said about Catholic friendships for young parents! My husband and I have been growing more in our faith and I would love to make some friends who are also in a similar spot in their lives, but its so tough! Community is so important to surround ourselves with people who will help us and our kids get to heaven.
Wow I am always blessed by Matt & Cameron’s channels but today especially so. My husband and I have been married 4 years today and I’m listening to this as I chase my 2 little ones around! I am loving it all. God Bless you Jackie! And you too Matt! 🎉😊
Our parish is amazing for families with young children. The clergy has gone above and beyond in being consistent with having the outlook that crying babies are a blessing in the church. They want the families to stay with the children being children. It’s a wonderful way to bring the kids into formation from a young age.
Plus, Jackie’s prep talk and talking points in mass for young kids is very helpful. I’ve seen a few families explaining the mass to their kids, it’s quite beautiful.
general knowledge, your name Ali is the same as a very popular Muslim Male name among Muslim chia. they call their sons Ali after Ali ibn abi taleb the cousin and son in law ( yes! ) of their so called prophet mohamad they write the name علي in arabic . he s the reason why the predominant Muslim sunni and the relative minority muslim Shia fight endlessly till this day.
we have in our parish a mass at noon specifically for children and their parents the priests interact with them differently and create sermons fit for their age , they even read the bible in a way they can understand it.
Love Jackie!^_^❤ Thank you for rooting for single people ❤ It's a struggle being single and also being Catholic. Praying for all single people ❤
1:36:55 I feel so blessed that at my church I have so many people who love my son and will entertain him and hold him to give me a break so I can focus and pray. Especially as a single mother, it has been such a blessing how much my parish community has stepped up and taken care of us
I adore Jackie, she’s such a beautiful person ❤
Yes, she radiates such joy and humility.
Fascinating. The root of insecurity is pride. "I am supposed to be the best (by whatever worldly standard of beauty)! Therefore I am acutely aware to an inordinate degree of other people who fit the worldly cultural standard of the moment in a negative way."
I think the best advice to give an engaged couple would be, to eliminate the words "I quit" from your vocabulary.
It's amazing what you can get through, and honestly, makes you so much stronger! ⚘️
The crossover we all needed!!! Love Jackie and Bobby! ❤ praying for you guys!
I need to share this, and this probably says a lot more about where I'm at in my spiritual life more than anything else, but when Matt read what the Catechism had to say about taking care of infants and not going to mass, I teared up out of anger and hurt. I've had 4 babies, and each time I felt like I wasn't given the time I need to rest and recover with my newborn before having to leave the house and be stressed out. It was so stressful. I was still bleeding, tired, sore, baby was still figuring out how to latch so my breasts hurt, which made feeding my babies outside of my home so incredibly stressful, which made the baby upset and made me even more stressed.
I guess I just wish someone would have thought about what's best for the baby and me during those first few weeks post partum rather than being dogmatic.
I hear you! I had no idea that you could miss mass for a baby and I wish I had heard this years ago
There could be Eucharist service for mothers who cannot go to mass because of their babies - like there is for elderly when priest comes with Eucharist regularly. So that mothers have enough time to recover without having to be without Eucharist...
I am sure it could be individually arranged...
@@terezka5340- Or maybe you can just trust that God knows you're devout and have eaten body and blood hundreds of Sundays and therefore you can probably stand to skip one while you're fresh off having a baby
Oh yes absolutely you can take a break when postpartum! My mom used to stay home for 6 weeks after having her babies. She also worried about babies being around so many people when they were so young. I usually have pretty good postpartum recoveries so I usually can go back to Mass after 2 weeks. But every mother is different and you should be definitely be careful and aware of what you can handle. God definitely understands!
Such a great talk, I love both of you!
This is such a fantastic video. Thank you!
A great suggestion for a future guest: Matt Maher. He is a great person to talk with about music, worship, ecumenism, and his wife is also Protestant. I didn’t even know that until I heard him talk about it on the Abiding Together podcast. He has really great things to add to the conversation about unity with Christians of other denominations.
"Lord l Need You" is so powerful for me. Dante Schmitz and P J Anderson...
"Shine On Me" another go to. Thank you. .
Y'all had me dying laughing a few times and there were some moments I felt like God was talking straight to me, I feel shaken up a bit. Thank you Matt and Jackie!
This was such an enjoyable conversation!! I love Jackie!!
Wow what an awesome flashback as someone who grew up at OLA in Ventura during Jackie’s time, the Bartas, love it!! Praise God for both of your ministries!
Thank you Jackie!!!!! Same mentality, as somebody who was not wanted by their father…I said the same thing, it stops with me!
This was great! Love Jackie
Great episode. So easy to listen to you both but challenging also with the honesty of the topics you discussed.
Thank you so much for this! I was jotting down notes throughout, the nerd that I am. It's so good to hear about these topics since I never learned this stuff growing up; I guess my mother was indeed ashaimed to talk about dating and marriage etc. with me.
To speak to what you said at 1:40- I converted to Catholicism after I got married and to my husband COMPLETELY changed. I have to understand that he almost feels betrayed or tricked somehow. We have four kids and a fifth is on the way. I’ve fought him on contraception the entire way. I just can’t offend God and allow him to either. I also started becoming catholic shortly before Trump became president and we saw a lot more political divide. Although I didn’t vote for him, the associations made between republicans and those crraaaaazy Christians made me feel more like I was walking on eggshells. I believe God has allowed this to force me to live for Him more in deed and seek Him in solitude. I whole heartedly believe my husband will be saved. God is so merciful and has put us together for a reason. God bless.
I also converted after marrying my husband. It is a very difficult path to walk, but like you say, we shouldn’t despair! I pray every day for my husband’s conversion as well as to love him better as his wife. It’s a topic I would love to hear others talk more about, as it can definitely be an isolating experience.
@@k1y2l2e1 I'd also like to hear more conversation on that type of marriage, where one partner converts before/without the other. It's honestly part of the reason I haven't converted yet, as my husband is tolerant of my taking the kids to a protestant church and praying before meals, but has been outspoken about his disagreement with the Catholic church. I think there would be a lot of discord in our marriage if I actually go through RCIA, and we're already in a pretty messed up/stressful situation as it is.
@@k1y2l2e1 Fellow convert after marriage here! I have yet to hear a discussion on this topic, marriage is always assumed to be between two practicing catholics trying to help each other get to heaven. What about us adult converts, who came into the Church after already being married, and did not have the spouse follow?
What a great episode! Especially for parents & young couples. Jackie came to our small parish in KS a little over 10 years ago, and we have followed her material ever since. I listen to Pints with Aquinas regularly, so when I saw an episode with Jackie we watched it together and loved the discussion points!
I love how you mention The Place we find Ourselves. I'm a criminal justice major but have taken an interest in psychology and consueling. As a Christan it is hard to find resources that are faith to the bible. I actually used this podcast to prepare for a teaching I did at my small group last Wednesday.
Dallas is a beautiful city. I love seeing it at night and all the buildings light up and it's like a light show going on. It's awesome.
Oh Matt, me too! I'm very extraverted in circles of few people I'm close to. But in a medium to large crowd, especially with people I'm not as familiar with, I totally retreat inward. Too much uncertainty and anxiety.
I love this woman... she's so cool.
any child at mass is behaving fine as long as there at mass
ive never found a woman more bueltifull than when they dont have make up on
Amen to both my friend!
Nah. Get the crazy meltdowns outta there
@@iroamalone6953 Did you listen to what she was saying at all?
Most of the grass in Dallas/Fort Worth area is bermuda. It goes dormant in the winter and turns brown.
I just started listening to you guys talking about your youth years and how you used to listen to Britany and N’SYNC, watching Opera at 3 pm , and all that … you are surprised how Australian people were so influenced by the American culture back then … well, I am a middle eastern from Jordan, born in July 1983 as well, and I was growing up listening to these same singers and watching these same talk shows and all 😅😅😅 you guys made me stop right here just to thank you for this intro 😄 I felt like I am sitting right there with you and sharing all these memories 😂 I love listening to you both, and I can’t wait to listen to what is coming next ❤
What a wonderful series. It truly opened my eyes to the truth of Vatican II and not just the hearsay I've heard. God bless you guys.
It's possible to give your spouse a chance to go to Mass alone by splitting duties: one spouse goes to Mass alone and the other stays with the kids. Then swap and the one who stayed home gets to go to Mass alone. But it's important as well to take kids to Mass and let them get that grace and practice. I found that taking kids to church during the week, when it's open for prayer (Ok, I live in a Catholic country), and taking the kids on a walk through the church, pointing out things - statues, Jesus's 'room' (the tabernacle), and his 'light' (the tabernacle light), helping them identify and recognize the holy people in the statues, paintings and stained glass images, telling them what the confessionals are, and basically steeping them in the quiet, holy atmosphere when the church is mostly empty and you can get them used to the feeling that 'this is a special place where we are quiet and talk in whispers.' I used to tell my nieces and nephews that it was 'God's house, God's furniture, God's floor, God's pictures of his mother, stepfather, good friends (saints); the altar is his table; the priest is his representative and where he sits, etc. Telling them that it was God's house and we were going in to say 'Hi' to God, and could tell him anything in our hearts helped them greatly in having a sense of awe and reverence when they were under the age of reason. Because we went during the week to 'say hi to God' in 'God's house' and sit on 'God's furniture,' they got a sense that they should be on their best behavior. We don't run in grandma's house or the library, or shout and jump on the furniture in someone else's house - including God's. For little kids, the idea of jumping on God's furniture can fill them with a strong sense of the wrongness of that.. So I would say, by all means, don't just take your kids to Mass on Sunday. Take them for quiet times in the church during the week on walks, and talk to them about God and let them talk to God and gaze on the art and so on, explaining what it is at their level.
Oh God! My husband and I are in our fourth year of marriage and both of our biggest wounds are being ripped open right now. Thank you for sharing.
'83 baby here too! Houston, Texas and St. Thomas More Catholic School. Love your content Matt and Cameron, both. Our family watched SNL and The Simpsons as a family.
Thursday, I really like the videos that talk about parenting little kids.
Please have Fr Ripperger on! But NOT to talk about his work as an exorcist. Instead, ask him about the overlap of psychology and the spiritual life, the mechanics of prayer, thomistic philosophy applied to mental and spiritual wounds, the temperaments, etc. He has so much knowledge outside of exorcism.
How about debate between Jackie and Steph Gordon about women's place and speaking(like one Jackie is doing...)? That would be amazing...
This is going to be good.
Something that always makes me insecure with dating as a Catholic is a really negative midset some of the more traditional Catholics hold. That i should be getting married as a young 20 year old because then i will be fertile. I almost feel a sense of judgment and shame and not being good enough because im not ready to get married now. Not because i dont want to, but because there is a lot of healing and self work i need to do.
Thank you for saying that. I feel anxiety over the same things 🙏🏻
God’s opinion is the only one that matters...
@@SS-wt7kc wow thank you, you are ABSOLUTELY right
You’ll grow older and learn to stop caring so much about what other people think, and maybe then you’ll get married when you’re more comfortable, but generally, men do like it when you are younger. It’s not just trad Catholics. Hopefully you don’t need to spend another 10 years to work out your healing, but then again maybe you do. Stay open to God’s plan for your life and be assured of my prayers for you today!
@@gabrielle_riley AW thank youuuu🥰!!!
That date night book idea is a great idea
Matt using this as pet peeve therapy 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 listening to a video without earphones I'm cry laughing cryyyyyyyy laughing
I wish I could hear more, I am totally deaf in my left ear and partially deaf in the right. I praise the Lord for most sounds I hear.
Our parish is kid friendly ..listening to this podcast baffled me. The family that sits in front of me has eight kids. Last Sunday they came with twelve. Cousins.. our church is kid packed Sundays.
I was there too - Rome 2000❤
My husband and I live near Chicago and people are leaving here left and right. Or should I say “fleeing”. It is so lonely and like Jackie said isolating as a stay at home mom. My husband and I unfortunately don’t have any family around, and our parish life is barren, on top of our neighborhood has only seniors. Not trying to complain as we are incredibly blessed, but this desire to have deeper connections and authentic community with fellow Catholics is only growing as time goes on…ESPECIALLY since we have a young toddler. Maybe we should move to Steubenville too?! 😅🤯🙃🙃
Can you commute to St. John Cantius? Solid community faithful preaching and teaching
That was the one thing I was least prepared for as a new mom, the isolation. My kids are 22, 19 & 16 now but it was definitely very difficult to not have enough adult interaction during the day when they were very small. I would suggest starting a mom's group at your parish that meets during the day. That was something that helped me.
We live an hour outside of Chicago! We're trying to build community here as well. It is definitely lonely having small kids and trying to be faithful without community
@@fswan1944 thats tough...we had a good community growing then families started moving. We concidered driving 2 hours x 2 a month but finally decided against it. My wife joined groups such as Mops.. and A protestant bible study which allows fellowship and community.. she now has some support... Maybe there is a M.O.P.S. in your area?
that's the problem of the west broken family ties moving away from family and relatives at 18 and being lost in the world. that's the opposite of our society where everyone stay next to each other. provided it's a healthy family .
Totally off topic but the grass you were talking about that is typically planted in the Southern US is called Zoysia Grass, it does turn brown in the Northern US, but stays green in Florida. (My son has a lawn service and is a grass geek!)
Literally chewing my ice when hearing Matt say he hates it😂
I love both of u ❤❤❤
I was engaged about 2 years ago. I actually helped my ex revert back to Catholicism, But I found out he was cheating, during the whole thing, so I left him. We do have a daughter together. It sucked. But either I'm staying in that kind of relationship for life and unhappy or I'm a single mom and more on fire for God than I've ever been. I was definitely being held back in that relationship.
God bless you and your daughter, Crystal. May the Lord protect you both and give you his joy.
Understandable situation although being "on fire for God" and living by His will are two different things. You can go against His will and still feel righteous
@@sercastamere9853 mm no. You don't make sense. So explain yourself
@@Farfaraway88 You are not to have sex outside of marriage.
Nice girl. Good honest talk.
Love that you guys talked about temperaments! For anyone who’s interested, a fifth temperament was theorized by Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno that they called “supine”. They can be described as people who express like a melancholy, but actually want the same things as a sanguine. Definitely recommend people check out their book!
The four "humors" aligned with the four "fixed" points of the zodiac, and the four Gospels. Since ancient times it was that way. There's no fifth. That's what the famous "quintessence" was supposed to be--the secret "fifth element." I laugh that PhDs wrote something like that.
I see somebody already said so, but that was the quintessence, literally the 5th essence that was thought to hold the universe together, aka "ether" I believe. Ok, that's all.
Oh, write that book Matt!
Loved this talk. The little CZcams timeline says “Martial” relationship. I once heard that the only difference between martial law and marital law is where I is.
So when a catholic and a protestant marry and need to come to agreements we could call this Mixed Marital Arts? Ok sorry i will show myself the way out
Brooke Ligertwood is the greatest praise leader ever! I love that woman too! She sounds like she got her whole NZ accent from her lol
Great!
It would be of great service if you guys could share a document with those tips of marriage conflic resolution used in Net Ministries. They seem truly useful.
Brene brown talks about this type of cobflict resolution on her books/podcasts :)
Legalism is the extreme we don't want! It's growing as a counter to the extreme secular dysfunction and it's not good. We need to live and stand in truth but not get caught up in legalism.
We pray for strong, independent children, and then, we get them.
And we learn to appreciate them.
Right after we stop wanting to squish them.
I would love for Jackie to clarify a few things. When she says arranged marriage does she mean forced marriages? Because they're not the same. Secondly if arranged (but not forced marriages) are wrong and always seem to lead to abuse. There must be 2000 years of Church history where only a tiny amount of people weren't in abusive relationships. What is it that is so different about the how people get married that opens up one method to abuse and the other is apparently free of it? Secondly. The I would rather be single and happy and married and miserable seems like a terrible philosophy. Marriage and suffering go hand in hand. Because we are all flawed and fallen. Even the Blessed Virgin (whose marriage was traditionally said to be arranged) had to suffer in their marriage. They lived lives of intentional poverty and I'm sure there was a lot of suffering associated with that. But coming to the point of being single for your whole life and being and happy, the thing that changed my mind was when my parish priest said this - there is no vocation to spinsterhood or bachelorhood. There is consecrated Virginity or celibates for the Kingdom, but that is a formal consecration taken with thr objective to serve the community and Body. I have found that getting married later habituates us to living our single lives and makes it harder to be one in heart and mind to another person. Our character becomes formed in being single. Which makes it harder to get married and then of course to stay married.
Edit. I want to clarify that I'm not saying we should marry whoever and especially not someone who would definitely be a terrible spouse, but most of the time what i have seen is the people who claim not to find a good spouse, (because nobody can see their heart of gold) are themselves quite unsuitable to be married to. Either there are not any people their age or that they have habituated themselves with being single and living the high life.
"They are either 100% happy or 100% angry." I can remember when I remembered that my emotions used to be either/or. Either I was totally loving my mother or totally angry with her. I don't remember that phase, but I remember reflecting that, 'I love my mother but I'm angry with her at the same time, and I remember when I was just one or the other. This is hard.' I found it hard to have mixed emotions and remembered it didn't use to be that way.
Matt's drip is on point today, wp
Wow we are all the same age and this was a such a trip 😂
Age 32 hasn’t been an old age to get married since maybe the 80s 😄
Right! 😆 It's quite common, even in Catholic circles, for people to be married in their 30's!
1:26:25 OMG that triggered me so much! People listening to music without headphones in public places. A few months ago, I was sitting on the train and another passenger did this. As he was 3 seats away from me, I asked him politely but loudly to use headphones. Unfortunately the guy was drunk and we almost had a fight (his friend managed to calm him down) 😂
But yeah, here in France, I've noticed that people tend to do this. Remaining silent doesn't seem to be the "default social norm" anymore...
For sure people say "it doesn't matter who you marry because no one's perfect. You just make it work. Of course you hopefully match in core values but ultimately everyone is broken." Granted, the couple I know who give this advice eloped after getting pregnant at christian college and have an amazing (and big) family. They've "made it work" but I'm sure with a lot of added stress of personalities not aligning.
Wonderful, wonderful talk! However I would caution on the foster parenting unless you get intense training in attachment disorders beforehand . Those who raise these children are truly heroic but most Christian parents do not know how very gut wrenching and difficult it can be. It is not a walk in the park. It is not all sweetness and light. But there are training sessions that go beyond the standard foster parent training and I would recommend that anyone and everyone interested in becoming a foster parent access these. Also have a strong prayer life! it can be done but it is not easy like so many think.
44:10 Jackie helped me realize I should break up with my boyfriend. I did it last week and I’m very sure I did the right thing!
I live in South Africa. And even I started to think 🤔if I ever moved to America I'd live in stuebinville 🤣🤣
Can Jackie share where her mock turtleneck is from? Love it from a modesty perspective!
Great book by art Bennett.
And we also do not have any reference point for what should be on the top of the map. For example, arabic carthographers put south on top and north on the bottom, so the Australia could still be pictured the way we do now, even if the australians colonised the world
I reckon you can use a cup as a door stopper
amen...
I’m developing a conspiracy theory that this show is just a huge on going sales pitch for Steubenville real-estate and I’m absolutely falling for it I just applied to go to Franciscan pray for me to get in please
Well... I would imagine that "the care of infants" would be in regards to actual infants. Like before the days of "purification" are complete or whatever that time is called that Mary stayed home until the presentation. Thoughts?
What parish in Ventura? I went to St. Bonaventure High School in Ventura
CZcams has no idea what I want to watch. I feel like it gave up a while ago. It tries to feed me the big media corporations that pay it, but that’s about it. I almost always have to go find the next video if I’m watching 2 in a row.
I’m one of those stay at home moms without family nearby who has no community..It does suck especially when your kids don’t really have anyone else to play with. I guess that’s why I am currently listening to pints with aquinas lol loneliness sucks
Jackie or Matt, could you let us know what resource book Jackie read after experiencing miscarriages?
❤️
My parents didn't let us watch the Simpsons either! But we could watch Friday the 13th movies..... 🤣🤣
Jackie - I’m so sorry but I’m going to have to say your NZ accent sounds a lot like an Australian one (although you totally nailed it when you said ‘awesome’) 🤣
Please pray for NZ, as an aside - our bishops have recently released a document which normalizes and encourages LGBTQ+
behaviours in Catholic schools 😢
I'm from Germany and can feel your struggle.
I will offer a rosary decade for New Zealand and keep it in my prayers🙏
🎶Wee didn't start the FAARR 🔥
The year 2000 and frosted tips? They were trying to be like Dawson's Creek 😂.
It took my 40 minutes to realize that Matt shaved his beard. Ha ha! I was like "what's wrong with his face!?"
Darn that is such a good kiwi accent !
What strategies do large families have for the children getting adequate time with their parents in a group setting but also in a 1 on 1 or 2 parents 1 child setting? I’ve found it challenging even with only 2 kids, granted they are both under 4, which is a tough stage, and my first born is hell on wheels and counts as 3-4 children when compared to my second child. Just curious what others do because I think/can imagine that neglect from parents can easily set in with the open to life mindset. I know kids have siblings to keep them company and learn from, and that’s great, but from my own experience what I really needed while growing up was my parents, and they were absent after having 5 kids. My goal of this post is to learn what others do as it will make being open to life easier and might help us all move forward with healthy families/children. Thanks.
I don't know if this is helpful, but growing up as one of three kids and a parent with chronic health issues, my parents made a point of quality family time and then once in awhile, when it was possible, there would be planned one on one time. Also the gift of being present in that moment. Sometimes that meant a special outing but often it was conversation, a game, etc with no siblings or interruptions. I see how that influences now me and my sisters, all now moms of three kids each! When my kids were little, we tried to make a point at least every couple months to each take a kid for some special one on one fun. Special needs and a third child changed some dynamics. These days, that special time is often a game, conversation, a walk, etc. But my very long point is that wanting to provide that for your kids is the important first step and it doesn't have to be a big production but rather taking those small moments and giving them the attention in that moment. I hope that helps.
As they get older, set aside time right before bedtime for each specific child on specific days - i.e child #1 gets special time on Mondays, child #2 on Tuesday, etc. Put all the other kids to bed and have that one child stay up an extra 20 minutes to do a special activity of their choosing with parent(s). With fewer kids, you could do it multiple days a week for each and a specific parent each time. As you get more, they can each have a specific day.
@YAJUN YUAN thanks Yajun. Best listener award always goes to you.
My parents did what they called "special time." Each one of the six children would get one-on-one time with Mom or Dad. It was a rotation. When it was our time to choose, we got to pick what we wanted to during that time, whether it was going for ice cream, bowling, the park, etc.
About little kids in church. You can’t make little kids behave/ be silent in church, *but* you can take steps to mitigate their distracting of your neighbor who is there to follow the holy sacrifice and has a right to a modicum of peace during the sacred liturgy.
1. When my children were young we used to sit in the back. We left the front and the middle of the church for people who didn’t have a little children so that they can focus on the mass more easily. it’s an act of charity to your neighbor. People without children should leave the back pews open for parents with little kids.
2. parents know their children fairly well, when your children start to be noisy or distracting in church, and you know that they’re not going to calm right down, take them out of the church until they are calm and quiet. This is, again, an act of charity towards your neighbor. Sitting in the back provides an easy and quick access to the doors.
3. The practice of having one parent go to mass while the other stays home with the kids, and then comes home to allow that other parent to go to the next mass is an old practice, that makes sense for a lot of families. My wife and I did this especially when we had sick kids.
I have noticed over the past maybe 10 years or so that the younger parents simply do not take their noisy/crying/detract distracting children out of church as previous generations used to.
Parents with young children should do their best within reason, to not become a distraction or an annoyance to their neighbor, who probably is unable to get to Mass during the week and desperately needs to have their Sunday Mass one that is peaceful and not distracted, so that they can properly unite themselves to Christ in the holy mass.
This is true even out of church settings. I was born in the latest 80s to older parents, and as kids we were not allowed to misbehave. Anywhere. Acting up at the grocery store, mall, or any social place/event was a one-way ticket to getting taken out of that place. Now that I see my peers parenting theirs kids, it blows my mind the tantrums that seem to be totally acceptable now. I refuse to let my own kids (9,7,4,1) be rude or distracting to other people. Mild & temporary fussing is one thing, past that they get taken out.
Exactly, K B, exactly!
The front can be less distracting for little ones, less people to look at and easier to see what's going on. When I take my daughter out she doesn't want to return. As a single parent if I remove her then we miss mass. If I don't take her how will she learn? Even at 3 she's learning the mass. That's because I have been bringing her even when it's hard.
I have gotten dirty looks and negative comments, but then there are people who thank me for bringing her to mass
The problem sitting up front is that when children begin to make noise and become a distraction, the people sitting behind them suffer the distraction because they are in their direct line of sight, not to mention hearing.
Also, and this point is most important: when you take a noisy child out of mass so that they don’t disrupt and distract others, *you are not missing mass. Father Chad Ripberger talked about this in one of his conferences. Father Ripperger was very clear that parents taking their noisy, crying , distracting children out of church *are not missing mass. It still fulfills your Sunday obligation.*
Children will learn about the mass. We teach them at home, and at mass when they are calm, and quiet, and they pick up more and more as they get older. There’s no need to keep a crying, noisy child in church with the idea that they might miss something.
my Daughter is currently 3. we would play her hard before services (park, etc) and then give them a book of icons when we got there. if she wants to be held or what have ya we would
i take this as a sign from on high that i will be single for more time. crap haha. thank You God for this gift of certainity
I absolutely love Jackie. She speaks with so much class and you can tell the Holy Spirit is leading her. I especially love when she speaks on single/ness, marriage, and the importance on waiting for the right person to enter the sacrament of marriage with. There are tooo many divorces even among Catholics so I 100% agree with her stance. I like Matt too, but some of the things he says 🤦🏼♀️I feel like he lives under a rock. For example saying that his sister married at 32 is way later in life… that’s actually not late or unusual today, it’s the the 50’s anymore, you kind of lose the younger crowd with this thinking. And also please let Jackie talk he interrupts so much with nonsense, I wanted to hear the important stuff, I don’t care that you hate ice crunching 🙁 anyways just a few critiques, but I really enjoyed listening!
I think he s overexcited to have her as a guest. when it comes to getting married at 32 is late , he s kind of right .Catholics must grow not decline. once you think you found the right person why wait. the feminist view of having a career first live my life having out of wedlock sex and children then get married later kind of thinking is the outcome of a heavily brainwashed society who wants to profit from women workforce and spread depravity at the expense of having families .
@@theydidit5838 spot on!!!
@@theydidit5838trying to have a career does get in the way I agree. I spent my twenties just trying to find some sort of job I could reasonably settle into. That said, I did make some efforts to date but have not found the right person. Finding the right person is not something that's a given, it does not automatically happen to people. It's a gift from God if anything. Relationships especially when with the wrong person can be something a person isn't ready to handle emotionally. Even if they're 25 or so. I didn't actively try to avoid getting married and I did desire to marry young. But that hasn't happened yet. Doing my best to leave it in God's hands.
Baahhh!
I laughed out loud when Jackie said "Taking a toddler to mass is like taking a squirrel"...
🤣😂🤣😂 😆 🤣 😂 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣
Do we think parenting styles change with each generation?
I wonder if Jason Evert ever corrects Matt Fradd when Fradd calls him Jason Everett (always - never gets the name right).