Congratulations Homosexual
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- čas přidán 25. 06. 2023
- "For capitalism. You homo."
The Jeaney Collective:
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Audio:
share.epidemicsound.com/rjsya9 (Epidemic Sound - Bright Afternoon - Frank Jonsson)
• Aperture Science Tune
• Aperture Science theme
Hi, Al. This video is a dub of a Tumblr / Reddit meme about an Aperture Science announcer congratulating a homosexual. Please show it to people who will like it. Thank you. - Komedie
"For capitalism. You homo."
im not gay 😭😭😭
capitalist homosexuality
😮aight
Yes. I am a homo. A homosapien.
❤
"Congratulations! You are being pandered to. Please do not resist."
Holy chit this is a good comment.😂 How does this not have more likes?
"We're cynically exploiting your sexuality as a marketing tool. You're welcome."
Being pandered to means that businesses think the queer community is large enough to be a viable market, and bigots are too few to matter. When businesses stop pandering(as they somewhat did this year in response to threats of violence), that’s a bad sign.
@@evilvitaminWell said. So many ppl are salty about gayness being marketable, but if it isn’t you live in a bad place. I’m not even gay (and female) but when I wanted a rainbow cardigan my mom told me “You might get beaten up for wearing that.” Gay pride is not marketable here, cause most people are so homophobic they’d *stop supporting* companies with a temporary rainbow logo.
@@evilvitamin That doesn't make sense though. As a gay man I don't buy a gay cheese grater or a gay cup of coffee. I buy the same stuff as you do and thus the regular, non-rainbow advertisements are also for me. I want to be treated the same as you, not put into a special separate box for marketing purposes. That's not progress. I don't know a single gay person who supports this corporate pandering, which has become more and more like exploitation over the years. The 'viable market' you're talking about isn't 'the queer community', it's targeting a much larger market - white, straight, middle class college kids (i.e. the default market demographic) who are confusing corporate pandering with being a good 'ally'.
This concludes the pride month section of aperture science if you feel you have not been properly celebrated for your existence please take some time to reflect on this homosexual music
**Everyone is Gay starts playing**
**ticking clock sounds**
**Loud Buzzer Noise**
This next test is very bigoted. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain abuse, gay jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One.
@@Violet_KnightI would love some *_gay jazz_*
YMCA
**Followed by Ram Ranch**
I kinda wish companies were this honest it would be extremely funny
Yeah, but honesty just isn't profitable.
@@lilwyvern4
Yeah. Endless lies and exaggerating the products are.
Also I'm fuckin sick of everyone trying to sell me something in USA. All the livelong day! Gaaaaaahhhhh. I know what I want/need and buy it when I need it. It's so inhumane to constantly be bombarded by ads.
@@A_Ducky can i interest you in some pharmaceuticals cause you really should be taking some meds
I'd still hate them, but I'd respect them more if they were more honest about their antipathy towards us.
@@kitkat-the-guy here, take 200 oxy and this addiction, it's on the house - we love return customers
In a glados voice
“Oh, it’s the month of pride, i guess you should be prideful on your obesity, and all the horrible things you’ve done to this facility”
that definitely sounds like something glados would say
you deserve that heart
"To prevent you from being offended, we have canceled pride month, as you have nothing to be proud of."
@@trikstari7687”this next test was made for this occasion, the lasers have become rainbow colored and the companion cube now has a rainbow heart, how cute”
@@TheAverageCreature"Perhaps you will feel even *more* like a monster when you inevitably throw *this* one into the fire at the slightest provocation. Is *that* what you feel so proud of?"
I love how everyone who tries to do an American accent is just doing a Texan one, I guess that's like how when Americans try to do a British accent and they just do Cockney.
I am speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing!
I wonder if maybe to Jeaney's ears the Announcer's accent sounds indistinguishable from a Southern accent 😂
@@raindrenchedneon
"Look, gayboy, I CAN hear you!"
@@raindrenchedneon”look, metal ball, I CAN hear you”
“OK NO NEED TO DO THE VOICE JUST RUN”
Damn I never thought of it that way. Huh.
Wheatley: “All you’ve done is boss me around”
Glados: “I know that voice. I know you. You’re that twink little voice in my head that’s been spouting gay ideas to try to make me more gay!”
Wheatley: “I am NOT a TWINK!!”
Well...He DOES whine like a twink, maybe glados has a point
@@Nomadithnah
@@king_james_official yes.
I don't want them puttin crap in the code to turn the frickin AI gay!
@@chickencurry420DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
as a portal fan, thank you for this video
As a portal fan I thank Jeaney as well.
As a fellow portal enjoyer i must also thank jeany for this
As another portal fan I also thank Jeaney for this video
As an actual portal I also thank Jeaney for this video.
(Also to those of you who keep using me to scratch your nether regions and have left me traumatized as a result, just remember: there is a special place in Hell reserved just for you)
as a jeaney fan, i must thank video too for this portal
I'm imagining Aperture would recolor warning signs for pride month, making them easy to overlook.
and then get lose a load of money over lawsuits lmao
Or make specifically colored stuff like a stop light or some sort of warning system a rainbow, and make it completely useless in the process.
@@jiquandaviussongaming8640perture gets lawsuits? Im surprised OSHA's perfectly fine with deadly lasers, hazardous waste pits, and continual exposure to cancer-inducing moon dust, but draws the line at signs being multicolored
that seems like a VERY aperture move
@@bogjooreHow did Aperture last long enough for GlaDOS to even kill everyone lmao
Glados would learn every homophobic and transphobic slur in the book just for the sake of having more ammunition.
Bold of you to assume she doesn't have them memorized already.
There's probably a test chamber where she takes a trans person and forces them to enter a gendered bathroom.
The bathroom contains a bunch of turrets, but it's still embarrassing for the test subject.
No... don't... that means wheatley would know them too when he gets the thingamajig... no.. NO... NOOOOO!!!
@Nate2010
No, it's fine, he'll just use them for the wrong things. He'll use a homophobic slur in place of a transphobic slur and vice versa.
And GLaDOS will be on your side at that point anyway, she'll be *supporting* you!
@@TCM464 "Shut the fuck up you [insert slur idk]"
"Yo Wheatley I Am A Robot With No Sexuality Dumbass"
"Sexual Preference": ❌
"Flavor of Gay": ✅✅✅
I love strawberry flavoured gay
personally i'm more of a garlic bread guy@@ciphergacha9100
my flavorite is vanilla gay
My favorite is blueberry bubblegum.
Y'all are forgetting blue raspberry flavored gay that's literal cuisine right there
This is the greatest thing ive ever seen. Time to create combustible lemons in rainbow colors.
do these lemons also burn people’s houses down?
@@mysticz3686yes, in a colourful manner
Lemons, you say? 👀
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Fruity
@@matthiass._.that’s it, the joke’s gone full circle! This thread needs no more comments!
Wheatley: “I am not a homosexual!”
Glados: “You are! You’re the homosexual they made to make me gay!”
*Wattpad noises*
or straight in a way because Glados is clearly a lesbian and wheatley is a gay twink
Wait does GLaDOS absorb Wheatley's homosexuality or his attraction to men?
@@icklemon07i love the idea that they created wheatley to make glados hate all men
Me to that one hot guy that sat next to me in school:
Cave Johnson here! Humans aren't made equal, some are made for great science and others are made to test that science so my science making guys can make more science.
However some employees have noted me of a new community, a community of the alphabet! The lab boys tell me that it means different people have different sexualities but who am I to care? They got money and we got products!
So we decided to paint some products in their flag colours. Want a rainbow turret? Fill out a cheque and I'll send ya two of 'em for the price of two!
Some people call me scummy for banking off the small percentage, but if the left-handed people can pay for a left-handed portal gun without complaints then so will the alphabet!
Cave Johnson we're done here.
lmao
Extremely accurate 💀
I read this in jk Simmons voice
definitely sounds like something he'd say XD
"We'll send you two for the price of two" is fucking perfect
“We did it gang (semi)equal rights!”
“My brother in Christ you have become a marketable plushie!”
What do you mean semi
They just want to get married.
Enjoy that drag show, kids.
@@davisdelp8131 gay people are somehow losing some of their rights again (conservatives started arguing about gay marrige again too) and trans people are being crushed from every corner there is for them to exist
I received 3 death threats the past week alone just for saying "trans rights" 💀💀💀💀
@@ShortArmOfGodwe will
As long as there are no Mason jars nearby it's fine.
Remember kids, Aperture Science does the same thing every other corporation does, just with a lot more honesty.
I mean Aperture is just Raytheon if it was honest
@@zandaroos553 Raytheon has portal technology?
@@zandaroos553 Nah, Raytheon has good benefits (like, astonishingly good benefits) and they don't test their products on their own employees.
@@blarg2429 if they did would we know about it?
Thanks for explaining the joke
‘Neurotoxin does not discriminate’
This rhymes in my language and it makes it sound like a commercial aperture would put somewhere
@@Applemind La neurotoxina no discrimina
@@elcatrinc1996 not Spanish but this works too lol
@@Applemind damn, i though i had it, its Portugués by any chance? no wait, don't tell me, give an hour on Google translate
@@elcatrinc1996 it is lol
Aperture: Somehow more honest than real life corporations
I remember that in the boots of long fall introduction they were like:
"We kept running into the same problem: lots of expensive equipment being broken"
As they showed a human dying from fall damage...
@@nathanwaterser8218Lmao
@@Ardorstorm Aperture Science is the company of all time
Other real life corpos: rainbow logo
Opera gx: two men kissing
And less evil, too. At least GLaDOS had the decency to be disrespectful to Chell's face, and didn't pretend to care about her until maternity leave/wages/literally any workers' rights became a subject.
“It’s pride month, GLaDOS. You know what that means!”
“Huh? What? Do you want me to make like. A gay test chamber? What?”
"It's pride month, Chell. You know what that means."
"...?"
“FISH-!”
I have no idea where this meme came from but i love it lol
This feels ripped straight out of one of those old videos valve made.
Aperture Science supports your fight for justice! From a distance!
I feel like this would also really apply to Hyperion.
"The Hyperion corporation would like to wish all employees a happy pride month. To celebrate, your salaries will be reduced, with funds going to charities that definitely exist."
It would fit the borderlands humor perfectly.
“Attention team, because it’s pride month, Gut Wrecker is now 50% off if you’re a member of the LGBTQ, adequate proof includes: photograph of significant other, identifying 5 or more pride flags, or being able to correctly reverse the acronym LGBTQIA2. -Regards, Mission Control
-in fine print.
Evidence must include appropriate information to track your significant other as well as additional personal information of our discretion.
Not limited to ID/Bank Accounts/Corporate Records/Relationship Records/Security System Control Access.
I feel like Handsome Jack is homophobic, but pretends not to be, or genuinely isn’t homophobic, but comes across as someone who is
@@gamertwo6263 I feel he isn’t homophibic, but would act homophobic to gay vault hunters
yknow every time I hear of Tales from the Borderlands it sounds super appealing to me, damn I might need to play it soon
"Congratulations. Your group has become large enough for us to profit from, well done!"
Large enough? Demonstrably false, given that Whites are 62% of the American population and the non-sexually-aberrant are 95% of the population, yet Basketball-Americans and fruitcakes get all the corporate simping. The evidence at hand requires you to get a new theory.
They would 100% do this, without argument
I love randomly getting a notification that just says "congratulations homosexual" /j
congratulations homosexual
congratulations homosexual
congratulations homosexual
congratulations homosexual
Congratulations homosexual
"Here at Aperture Science, we don't care what you identify as, so long as you also identify as test subject!"
Those test subjects are about to identify as dead once Aperture is done with 'em lol
*July 1st*
"Cave Johnson, we're done here."
This feels like a person landed on an unknown planet and the inhabitants of said planet spotted a pride flag patch on their spacesuit, so they decided to make them feel welcome
Welcome to being gay on Earth
@breauseph this implies that all gays are aliens from outer space
LITERALLY
You did a really good job of describing what it's like to be gay in North America.
@@dimsum3329 technically it implies that we're space travelers and cishets are the aliens
P.S. “We’ve also baked a cake for you. Extra rainbow sprinkles. Brought to you by [Insert Business Name Here].
Please enjoy! :)”
Disregard the cyanide, it's just a flavor enhancer 🤌
[Subject Local Bakery Here]
We love gays
*Legal disclaimer: no homo
That's what they all say
I love gays
Legal disclaimer: homo
I love gays but I would really love gays if they gave me all of their money.
@@melvint-p9500 i would give you all my money melven 🥺🥺🥺🥺
@@InsertFunnyThingHere stop deadnaming me smh
"I'm going to have my engineers create a lemon that splatters pride colours"
🏳🌈
what's really funny is that this is exactly what you would expect Aperture to say about it.
also this is almost exactly what other corporations do say about this.
"we will be right there with you, after you have done the work, until then you are on your own"
And even then only so long as it stays profitable and culturally acceptable. If the homos ever manage to lose public acceptance, all of those pride logos will disappear like a desert mirage faster than you can say "negative market perception".
"How does it feel to have your identity becoming nothing more than part of the PR? Your value as an individual being narrowed down to a marketing tool. You are more of a billboard to this company than an employee."
"Glados wtf are you talking about?"
*Cave Johnson voice:*
"Caroline tells me it's "pride month" in... two hours, so I had the lab boys whip up some multi-colored portals for you. If any of you feel like jumping out of something other than orange and blue for a change, just apply for the official Aperture Science Handheld Queer-Chromatic Quantum Tunelling Device at the front desk. Oh, a little heads-up though, try not to place more than two portals at once. One test subject entered her green portal and reported seeing her colon come out of her purple portal while the rest of her came out the yellow one. Later tells me she'd rather wish something else of her got chopped off. We're still looking for that color combination."
This feels so in character, lol. Let me know if you figure out the color combo.
“Cave Johnson, we’re done here”
Aperture science redefines gender reassignment surgery by doing it with portals
Aaaand that's why Black Mesa is better
It fits so well
Turning the logo into rainbow colours
Glados: "This was a triumph."
I’m making a note here, huge success
it's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can
@@kemcolian2001For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.
The dramatic reveal of the pride month Aperture logo is just so well done.
wheatley: “adopted gay, gay-ey gay-ey no parents”
glados: “and? whats wrong with being gay?”
wheatley: “uhh….lack of heterosexuality?”
lack of children?
@@halp9887lack of ankl bitr
@@halp9887 adoption:
@@cewla3348 lack of parents
This implies GLaDOS did it first
"it's pride month, Chell!"
"what- do You want us To, like, defeat gayer personality cores?"
how can you get gayer than the ones she already defeated
"...continue fighting for basic human dignities and Aperture Science will be right behind you... until July."
This is both scarily and hilariously accurate to Portal
As in
This is TOTALLY something Aperture would say
Just remember, every big business is just Aperture but with a proper PR team.
more lies no portals, BORINGGGGGG
And with 60% less bullet per bullet
As a Aperture gay who is way too obsessed with Portal, this is downright beautiful
same
The gay logo of aperture looks like your average painting app logo.
We'll be with you every step of the way...two steps behind.
Both an accurate depiction of how corporate entities view "The Gays" and fully in-character for Apature Labs.
"It's pride month, GLaDOS! You know what that means!"
"Huh? What? Do you want me to run...gay tests? What?"
My favourite flavour of gay is lime
Mine is blue raspberry!
Grape
Wild berries gay gotta be my favorite
Wot, no watermelon?
Mine is pickle
July 1st: Now I only want you gone.
"Aperture Science: We support you 100%
....just don't go spreading it around."
“Flavour of gay” new name for any sexuality
Name for the newest flavour of repulsion gel
@@baileyjerman5573 mmm, blue raspberry gel 😋🤤
I will actually be disappointed if this isn't in Portal 3. That is, assuming Valve learns how to count.
Hahahaha no.
I would be disappointed if Valve went out of their way to do this.
"I mean, we won't help your cause, but we'll celebrate that you did whatever you wanted to do."
Most twitter users
If it's any consolation, if you were straight and cis they'd just find some other way to exploit you.
i guess in some kind of fucked up way it really is equality huh
selling pride stuff to you while saying it will make you one of the good cis straight people
Incorrect. Non-sexually-aberrant White Christian men get absolutely zero 'exploitation' (euphemism for free promotion and simping) from the corporate and academic powers that be.
I never knew I needed Aperture pride.
Now why would you need a company that has committed several immoral actions to put a rainbow on their logo? I mean they make talking automated guns for citizens which is definitely pro gun. Also it’s a company that makes portals so what does it have to do with lgbtq+ things
as a homesexual, I'm glad I'm accepted for loving my home
Lmao that took me a second, even after rereading it
Wait... So then, if you use your home as an AirBnB, and people loved staying there... does that make you a pimp??? 🤨
_(I feel like there's a "safe sex" joke to be made about condominiums, but I'll leave that for someone else to make 😊)_
mood
That would be Oikosexual or Oikophilia. Yes Homophilia is a correct word too for Homosexual, according to Wikipedia and Wiktionary.
@@NotRay1995 as it should be
GLaDOS:
"I know you."
Wheatley:
"Ah- sorry, what?"
GLaDOS:
"The engineers tried _everything_ to make me queer.
To make me fruity.
Once, they even attatched a twink intelligence sphere on me.
It stuck in my brain like closet-side, generating an _endless_ stream of gay thoughts."
Wheately:
"No, not listening, not listening."
GLaDOS:
"It was your voice."
Wheatley:
"No. y- No, you're lying, you're lying."
GLaDOS:
"Yes, _you_ are the closet-side.
You're not just a regular twink.
You are _designed_ to be a twink."
Wheately:
"I am Not! A! Twink!"
GLaDOS:
"Yes, you are!
You are the twink they built to make me a lesbian!"
Wheately:
"Well how about now?!
Now who's a twink?!
Could a twink?! Punch?! You?! Into! This! Pit! HUH?! COULD A TWINK DO THAT?!
...
U-oh."
As inspired by comments under this video.
im sorry but this absolutely needs to be a mod right now
When Aperture lifted his sword and shouted "FOR GAY RIGHTS!" I was shook.
as both a massive Portal fan and a massive bi, thank you
really brings meaning to “dual portal gun” (im not a homophobe i just couldn’t resist saying that)
@jiquandaviussongaming8640 Good one, and don't worry, I don't think anyone would get homophobe from that
tbh yeah .) same
This is canon to portal lore and you can’t convince me otherwise
That portal gun is gonna be used for some devious things
implying we wouldn't be hearing an unhinged rant from Cave Johnson confused about what makes rainbows gay.
This is lore accurate.
i love this meme, portal is the best
In this economy?
Just like in my dream...
and then the wolves came
Maybe wait a few additional years to make sure that the victory really sticks. But, after that, we’re definitely right behind you all the way. Just make sure to keep that public acceptance up for the rest of time too.
Nice touch from the artist who colored the Aperture logo like the very oldest version of the pride flag!
I'm Argentinian and let me tell you, it's exactly the same here lmao the government and businesses try to profit from pride during this month, and then they forget about us
Its the same everywhere.
The companies dont care.
One Month? That's stupid.
Why not profit every month from gays like real capitalists?
@@poppers7317big brain
@@chunkerdunkerSad but whats even sadder that the fact that If we take It for granted the homophobia and transphobia is becoming more vicious and more agressive (especially the 11 year olds make their ENTIRE personality to be a freaking nazi)
@@nutmatical1042 Unless you're in a country where random civilians can buy guns, I wouldn't be worrying about the 11 year-olds. Not when there are adult men who also make "nazi" a huge part of their personality and can vote.
The delivery on that "Afterwards" is peak portal timing humour
“Im NOT gay!
Yes you are! You’re the gay they built to make ME a homosexual!”
As a homo i find this profitable
We need a pride month mod for both portal games based entirely on all the gags we can make from this
As a homosexual, I feel congratulated.
I feel sorry for your mental illness 💔
@@Pvrge.I hope yours is cured some day
@@Pvrge. you have a wojak pfp, your opinion doesn't matter
@@Pvrge.you’re talking to yourself again? man we need to get you your schizo pills.
@@Pvrge._spongebob foghorn sfx_
OK, but the pride aperture science logo just makes it look more like a camera company
If I were gay, I’d appreciate this more than what actual companies do. At least Aperture is upfront about it being pandering.
As a bi Portal fan, I'm glad that Aperture sees me
As a tool for marketing, that’s how they see you
*your favorite flavor of gay.* mighy be my favorite sentence ever.
I love flavor gay
my personal favorite is garlic bread
@@kemcolian2001 asexual?
"For the convince of all lemons, we have now added yellow to the Aperture Science logo."
"Offer void in Poland. We apologize for any inconvenience."
I hate how canon this is.
Dear Aperture Science,
Us South American homosexuals have achieved basic human dignities to a level similar to the North American homosexuals, thus, we ask to be included in all future sales of recolored Aperture Science appliances.
Sinsqueerly,
The Gays.
sinsqueerly 💀
Cave Johnson: Nope, couldn't keep a straight face
If the portals were rainbow coloured, how would you know which is the top and which is the bottom?
That question sounds like prejudice. (Glares menacingly) are you trying to prejudice me with your common sense? I'll cancel you...
so true
@@Russo-Delenda-Est I can’t tell if sarcasm or not, so just to clarify, not prejudice. Its a top or bottom joke
@@IAmAdamTaylor I'll have to add one of these (😉) in the future to make it more clear.
Well obviously that depends on their orientation, but some of them are versatile enough to do both.
As a homiesexual, I approve of this message
does homiesexual mean you smash your homies
Of course a breaking bad fan is gay..
It's either a nazi BB fans or a gay trans BB fan
You can't be anything in between 💀
omg heisenbergs gay I didn't know that.
@@icklemon07 No, he's Homiesexual, he loves Homers and/or homies.
Anomaly spotted, instance- Tuesday on this day I forgot. Heisenberg is still everywhere all the time. We are on his tail though, it's 6 hours ago, who knows if this is the latest Heisenberg sighting, or he's already somewhere else. I'll get him eventually.
I could totally see aperture actually doing this if they were real
I appreciate the attention to detail on adding the Aperture music, and editing the logo appearance to time it with the music ❤
This is really great. I hope Aperture will continue to be a portal to an accepting future!
The way this comment was structured, it actually took me atleast a minute to actually get it.
Capitalism is truly the greatest thing
Legal disclaimer: Until July 1st at 00:00hs
Will be changed back to normal at midnight at the end of pride month
Aperture Labs would be the only company to say something this unfiltered and still be applauded.
I am one of them. Thank you for your honesty, Aperture Labs.
Like, they are so comically, unapologetically evil it's endearing.
And far more honest than most evil megacorps. Like, most corpos trying to avoid safety regulations lie to the workers until something goes wrong, instead of placing PSAs about reporting OSHA agents.
Okay but that Aperture pride logo slaps fr
If someone told me this was hidden dialogue or something in portal, I'd genuinely believe it. It's so accurate lmao
Doing their part for the British Empire
Amen brother 🙏
I hate how this is the first thing that appeared in my CZcams recommended after taking a break from Portal after getting stuck on a certain part
this is what the announcer said to literally everyone before portal 2 and after glados' death
"We also repainted turrets! You can check it out right now."
*"Target acquired"*
I like that Aperture isn’t helping to get people basic dignity, they just want to celebrate when people get them… you know, afterwards…
almost as if its parodying the multiple soulless corporations which do the same
Basic human dignity would be to keep gays away from the public eye lol
⚡"The cake is gay - until June ends, tomorrow night..." 🎂🏳️🌈👀🤣
Companies on June first:
“Why are you gay?”
*”MONEY”*
One portal is red, and the other portal is blue, and everything between them is a secret rainbow.
it's orange, not red?
Ah, a new morning alarm for me. Not gay, but being woke up by "Congratulations, homosexual" is to funny to pass up
Wheatley: "I am NOT. A. TWINK!!"
GLaDOS: "Yes you are! You're the twink they built to make me a lesbian!!"
"He's not just a regular twink. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the gayest twink who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility."
woah mama
Your impression of the Portal 2 announcer guy is _impeccable!_