7 Things You Don't Need to Justify To Anyone

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  • čas přidán 25. 08. 2022
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    There are things you are likely justifying to others that you don't need to. There are many reasons we tend to justify things - but the most common one is because we are looking for the approval of others to build our self esteem and help us feel more confident in our decisions and, at a deeper level, in who we are, but what we don't realize is that this way of trying to build our confidence does not work. What does work is working on trusting ourselves more and approving of our own decisions more.
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Komentáře • 389

  • @ixiec1689
    @ixiec1689 Před rokem +105

    This video is a miracle. 33 years of my life revolved around justification. Now I'm making a change. Love this!

  • @juliemarkham4332
    @juliemarkham4332 Před 8 měsíci +27

    1. What's important to you, 2. Being yourself, 3. Career path, 4. Health choices, 5. Appearance, 6. Goals and dreams, 7. Why you put yourself first.

  • @dianep6335
    @dianep6335 Před rokem +136

    Being on disability I always felt I needed to justify it around people who stigmatize it (thinking I'm "riding on backs of taxpayers", a "vacation every day", not "willing to work", etc.). I used to stammer when they'd ask why I'm on disability, but now after learning about boundaries I just answer, "I won't bore you with my medical details". And if they press further, I say, "I don't discuss my medical with anyone but my doctor".

    • @gretchenburton7184
      @gretchenburton7184 Před rokem +19

      It is so hurtful and daunting. Neighbors have been so cruel that I don't want to have anything to do with most of them. Unbelievable comments and actions. Bless you❤

    • @pavilion3064
      @pavilion3064 Před rokem +14

      Thank you so much for these alternative options!

    • @micheleanhoury518
      @micheleanhoury518 Před 10 měsíci +14

      Right here with you! 🫶Thank you for Sharing your empowering responses, I’ll use them from now on! 🙏💪

    • @kb8511
      @kb8511 Před 7 měsíci +10

      Those are some really good responses. I’m very insecure about that as well because I get those same remarks as well and it makes me feel really bad about myself.

    • @user-wm2fv3sp3x
      @user-wm2fv3sp3x Před 5 měsíci +11

      Everyone has a background story. People are not entitled to know about it. It is up to you whether you choose to share it. And whether they want to listen to it, of course, is up to them. Listening doesn't necessarily mean understanding either. At the end of the day, only you know what you are going through and why you have to make certain decisions in your life.

  • @thenextcobrakai
    @thenextcobrakai Před rokem +5

    I loved the “you don’t owe the world your beauty” quote it was so mind blowing.

  • @calmingbabysleep1256
    @calmingbabysleep1256 Před rokem +92

    Thank you Julia!
    1. The things that are important to you ( food, hobbies)
    2. Your career
    3. Your food choices.
    4. Their appearance
    5. Your goals and dreams
    6. Why you are putting yourself first

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out...💬

    • @Katie-vy5rd
      @Katie-vy5rd Před rokem +2

      Thanks!

    • @Izkapts
      @Izkapts Před rokem +2

      Food choices? What if the food choice is people? What if food choice is a family of other animals?

  • @jammyjay917
    @jammyjay917 Před rokem +22

    I found alot of people are very judgemental, they judge what we do and don't do so that's probably why we feel we have to justify ourselves.... I prefer to distance myself if these people keep on questioning me, it's none of their business....

  • @taraelmegreen5527
    @taraelmegreen5527 Před rokem +73

    When I was leaving my abusive spouse after 28 years, your vids, knowledge and even the kindness in your voice helped me more than you will ever know. I still throughly enjoy your style, choices of vids and the way you share them. May God bless you for your effort to help others in this crazy ride of life......I am sure I am not the only one who has found solace and peace in being a part of "your little community in this corner of the internet......"
    Okie Girl🤠

  • @Roxy0405
    @Roxy0405 Před rokem +42

    Constantly trying to justify yourself to others is absolutely exhausting and soul- sucking. Why is it people expect me to justify standing up for myself? Yes, and how I look at the gym is no one's business because it's not affecting anyone else's workout!

  • @thenicholashernandez
    @thenicholashernandez Před rokem +48

    Proving is like putting yourself in a way that whatever you are experiencing are still lies. I think the core message of this video is, never allow other people to make you feel guilty until proven innocent. You do not need to prove anything at the first place.

  • @keepitmovinginternational3367
    @keepitmovinginternational3367 Před 2 měsíci +4

    Its almost ridiculous that we have to be told these things yet your advice is invaluable ❤ People are bullies and im over it!

  • @stephanieolsen1520
    @stephanieolsen1520 Před 16 dny

    “Your allowed to show up in EXISTENCE…..” LOVE THIS. I love the things you say. These are great to hear!!

  • @sherrijones9234
    @sherrijones9234 Před měsícem +4

    I'm learning the hard way I don't have to justify myself while grieving the loss of my child

    • @virginiahobby3726
      @virginiahobby3726 Před měsícem

      No you don't and everyone grieves differently and at their own pace. You cry when you need to cry and talk about you child when you need to. Embrace your grief and don't run from it so you will heal in a healthy way.I'm so sorry for your loss. May you find peace at the cross.

    • @LindaOhearn-mt9vk
      @LindaOhearn-mt9vk Před měsícem

      Blessings to you. Grieve in your own way. Take as long as necessary. There are support groups for child loss trauma. Sometimes people can be so cruel. Take it a day at a time.

  • @mardellethomas238
    @mardellethomas238 Před rokem +22

    This is a very important piece of the puzzle of establishing our identity. I have done some work in the last years to know who I am. Now I am training myself to not over explain my choices or not explain at all. Thank you for helping me to just be me.

  • @jerrykimberly9455
    @jerrykimberly9455 Před 19 dny

    It’s refreshing to be with others who are actively and deliberately shifting!!!!

  • @marybernstein9577
    @marybernstein9577 Před 11 měsíci +7

    Woman, I've seen many therapists in my life but you are one of the best. Thank you

  • @FunnyBirdVideos
    @FunnyBirdVideos Před rokem +21

    Having been exposed to a person with narcissistic traits, I felt almost always having to justify my actions which of course is tied up with their insecurities. I sent flowers to a mutual friend who lost her mother and this other person (the narc) said I did it to show off/go over the top. I did it because I too have lost my mother and appreciated when others showed some loving words and actions. But I found myself having to justify myself, then felt awful if others did see me as a show off/insincere. I know now my actions were genuine and now hate the fact I stood there floundering and apologising. We should all learn these valuable lessons at a young age so we’re not having to justify to others and stand firm in our own decisions.

    • @gail777
      @gail777 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Narc was projecting what he would do onto you. He would have sent flowers to show off. It wasn't about you, it was about him.

  • @venust.4119
    @venust.4119 Před rokem +5

    Great video! I would add one more thing: Don't justify or apologize for being educated. I see this ALL the time people feel judged if they use a fancy term or speak a foreign language. They always add something like "oh look at me, I'm smart pants..haha..." Even college teachers say something similar to that to students....That just sad. Be humble within reason, but also be proud of the learning work that you've done.

  • @denniscreason
    @denniscreason Před 4 měsíci +7

    4th video I've watched now and I'm getting super excited because I see a possibility of me being on the verge of a major breakthrough.

  • @estherclark820
    @estherclark820 Před rokem +8

    Yes, the other way around for me. They don't get to be snarky if I want cake & icecream while they're all getting seeds & spinach salad. So blessed for friends like that!

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out...💬

  • @lindafolks
    @lindafolks Před dnem

    Thank you for your channel!
    We need the freedom to be ourselves without justification from anyone!🙏❤️🕊🌟🎶🌹💝
    God bless you!!

  • @zakiamwoma4647
    @zakiamwoma4647 Před 19 dny

    Thank you Julia. I lived for years expecting acceptance from my family;mother and siblings. It has taken me years to realize that I am myself. I am what people/family want me to be. It started after marrying a woman that they could not approve of. Instead, I have lived being gas lit from left,right and center. You education here is for me. I suffered childhood trauma. Now, I want to just be. Just who i am. No justification,no validation,no accetance,nothing. Thank you

  • @robertorhymes
    @robertorhymes Před rokem +8

    Seeking others approval is self confidence removal A fantastic insight on how to treat yourself right Thanks Julia

  • @kashesan
    @kashesan Před měsícem +1

    "Outsourcing our sense of self" Wow. That's great.

  • @pollytheparrot8929
    @pollytheparrot8929 Před rokem +4

    Amen to that..Im 35 yrs old, living with narc parents..and I'm done..God bless you Mam😍🤗❤❤🙏

  • @rhondasaraullo5115
    @rhondasaraullo5115 Před rokem +37

    Great discussion. I’m dealing with stepdaughters. After 22 years they have been so mean and critical and you have helped me lots tonight. From Australia xx

  • @IsmailTuncel
    @IsmailTuncel Před rokem +3

    Thanks for sharing this! Maybe we can add 'You don't have to justify what your expenses are'.

  • @jessicashaw7143
    @jessicashaw7143 Před rokem +17

    Thank you Julia I spent 52 years living for everyone else unable to get to know myself. I came out a trans-woman and was happy of me for the first time in my life. But was told I was wrong because everyone else was now sad. This did not persuade me from being myself but what I realized is it took me 52 years before I began to actually know who I am. What you said here today is so beneficial for me because I'm trying to learn to be me and love myself. Past pressure and society continue to say I have to be for them but I can't. I need to be me no matter what or who says or thinks. You have inspired me to fight harder to do for self and know I am right. My boyfriend has told me to just be me but I never understood that until now. Thank you so much!

    • @NZelalem96
      @NZelalem96 Před rokem +2

      Hello Jessica. I also was struggling for many years with finding my identity (I am 26 now) until I began having a relationship with Jesus. It really is life-changing. Therapy is also a very great tool. Have a blessed day :)

    • @jessicashaw7143
      @jessicashaw7143 Před rokem +2

      @@NZelalem96 hello, I understand where your coming from. However, I believe in God through Christ Jesus. Most people in religions condemn people like me just as did my family. Although I know God made me as I am and also is teaching me every day how humanity must stop looking to thier own righteousness but see who they truly are and humble themselves before God who shows mercy to whom he will. Knowing we have no righteousness in ourselves but wholly look to and depend on the righteousness of Christ to cover us as children of God.

    • @12onin_Gypsy
      @12onin_Gypsy Před rokem +2

      Well done Jess, enjoy your life 🙂

    • @NZelalem96
      @NZelalem96 Před rokem +2

      @@jessicashaw7143 I'm sorry you experienced that. I can relate as I've experienced this at my church too, but in a way it brought me closer to Jesus. Humbling ourselves yes Amen God bless you sister.

    • @theresekearney1640
      @theresekearney1640 Před rokem +2

      When my Mum was in her 90’s I asked her, a bit flippantly, what advice she had, and quick as a wink she said “be yourself”, such a few words to convey so much complexity. I’m learning more and more about what those words really mean, allow, and encourage in me. One of the most profound pieces of advice she gave me, which continually guides me, along with these videos.

  • @sharoncarey2931
    @sharoncarey2931 Před rokem +8

    This is a really excellent talk. I work in a hair salon behind the chair for 40yrs. You just pointed out a few more things I don't need to justify. I'm thoroughly enjoying your whole youtube channel.

  • @corner23
    @corner23 Před rokem +5

    Yes yes yes!!!! There is so much freedom in learning how to not feel the need to justify yourself!

  • @wontgetfooledagain8178
    @wontgetfooledagain8178 Před rokem +4

    I always feel as though I need to justify my career path to my parents. As such, this video is super useful !

  • @markgibbs904
    @markgibbs904 Před rokem +12

    Great topic and important to stress.
    I don’t try to “fit in” and never have. No apologies for my taste in music, oatmeal or Gin.
    “I gotta be me, it’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it!”
    Syrup is good on sausage.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +3

      Glad we're on the same page when it comes to the syrup and sausage Mark ;-)

  • @liztetley3609
    @liztetley3609 Před rokem +10

    The part about not owing the world your looks really resonated with me. I got made fun of as a child in school because of my disability and still am self conscious, though not as much as I used to be. But I’ve been struggling with body image lately because I’ve tried to lose weight for a long time and now perimenopause is making it even harder.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +4

      You do not owe the world a certain type of body Liz - remember that.

    • @fml5910
      @fml5910 Před rokem

      I wish the best of luck. I know most of us are self critical of our looks, and our bodies me included.

  • @duncanwoodward6831
    @duncanwoodward6831 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Some other things to add to the list of things you don't need to justify:
    1. Your relationship status
    Some people want a relationship or marriage, some don't. Some people are happier alone, some when they're part of a relationship in a solid family environment, you do what makes you happy.
    2. Your sexuality
    What happens between two consenting adults of legal age is their business, nobody elses, and you should not need to justify why you are atrracted to a certain type of person, just be happy with the people you love
    3. Any disabilities you may or may not have
    Whilst you should never use disability as an excuse for bad behaviour, you should also never need to justify it either .......... you do what you need to so that you can get through life the best you can, and nobody elses opinion on that counts

  • @lifescalling8080
    @lifescalling8080 Před 2 měsíci +1

    You had me at syrup on sausage! 😂 Seriously though, every girl ever, needs to hear you!

  • @ChildofGod98765
    @ChildofGod98765 Před rokem +23

    Thank you for this message. I am so thankful that the Lord has given me strength, to keep going, even though I want to give up. I have two beautiful boys both are autistic. My husband passed away years ago. I’m all alone. I lost my job over declining the vaccine. LIKE MANY OTHERS! I declined due to my pre existing health conditions lupus and heart disease. I’ve been struggling to provide for myself and my children since losing my job from Forsyth hospital. I’m now waitressing, and I’m thankful, but I’m not making nearly enough to get by. Groceries are super expensive. Every month is a battle to not end up on the streets with my two children. I’m constantly in fear of losing my home. To even think about being on the streets with two young children is terrifying. But even as I face homelessness seemingly every month. I have faith, God will provide! With GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! Faith over fear.

    • @cyndyfabian7555
      @cyndyfabian7555 Před rokem +5

      Hi, Grannie Cyndy from South Australia here.
      Golly, I feel for you. People hear you. God does too.
      The fact that you're on this channel shows that you are on a learning path. Keep walking the walk. God will sustain and lead you.
      God bless you richly. Xxx

    • @pebblesmiller9026
      @pebblesmiller9026 Před rokem +3

      It must be hard not to be overwhelmed. This channel will help you I’m sure. Sending courage and hope.

    • @Caitriona_
      @Caitriona_ Před rokem

      God bless you very much, sending you lots of love 💐🙏

    • @aden313
      @aden313 Před rokem

      Mom you are so strong . Never give up .
      You child will thank you for being a good mom one day . And if u don't mine
      Where do u live ? Please let me know .

    • @Clevelandsteamer324
      @Clevelandsteamer324 Před 4 měsíci

      You can get survivor benefits from social security

  • @TheDessadess55
    @TheDessadess55 Před rokem +10

    Loved this! Especially today, I had to stand up and tell my boss I need a week to fly home for loss of my grandma

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +5

      I hope your boss was supportive and understanding. Sending you love as you grieve.

  • @gloriaalmroth7166
    @gloriaalmroth7166 Před 5 měsíci +2

    We don’t need to justify why we don’t want to drink

  • @ruckerbrady8342
    @ruckerbrady8342 Před 9 měsíci +3

    I'm getting better little by little at setting boundaries. Especially with narrsistic people. I probably saved myself alot of pain simply by recognizing someone as a narrsistic person at my church who was hoovering me and trying to suck me into his world of lies and deception. Had I befriended this person I would have ended up feeling worthless and been a door mat. I recognized the toxic behaviors very quickly and backed away fast. This person was staring at me intensely with black eyes (intimidation attempt) during church service and he also did a crab pose that bodybuilders do (intimidating attempt again) all in the middle or church service lol. 😳. I want NOTHING to do with such people and see nothing but lying for attention. I owe NO ONE an explanation, especially a narc!!

  • @sandorlaszlo4553
    @sandorlaszlo4553 Před rokem +5

    This was a very soothing video to find. I came across the words "compensatory disorders" yesterday in the context of an unstable personality who makes up for their self-perceived shortcomings by really going for the gold and approval in other ways, to compensate. It's hard to find a video on that but this was pretty close to what I was seeking. Thank you for working with people who are trying to develop healthier mindsets.

  • @estherclark820
    @estherclark820 Před rokem +6

    The ones about food health choices are delightful! I have some special needs and my own quirky way of caring for myself. I sometimes can feel accosted by people with advice about things to try, or ways I could better manage. The temptation to justify my own choices can kick in. It can be tricky for me to shift the conversation away from their unwelcome "good advise.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out...💬

  • @annmalone8208
    @annmalone8208 Před rokem +6

    Outsourcing our sense of self. Very interesting concept. I have a friend who is pretty overbearing and is super opinionated. In this relationship I have learned to say no. I learned that no is a sentence just like yes. I have found the more I explain the less empowered I feel. I am learning to not offer more than is needed and in this way I feel. empowered. I am learning to love myself just as I am.

  • @j.r.1823
    @j.r.1823 Před rokem +6

    If we stop justifying our own choices so much toward others, if we live more for ourselves/ by our own values and preferences and "own" what we do-
    I think we can allow others to be themselves, to follow their own path much easier as well.
    Thanks for this encouraging and empowering video! ❤️

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +2

      Amen to all of this. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

  • @jodieiscool9351
    @jodieiscool9351 Před rokem +3

    See my name here Julia, Jodie is cool. Your videos have helped me love and embrace myself. I am cool. And I have a heap of other attributes that I am finally proud of. Thanks to you x

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment....

  • @tjj5337
    @tjj5337 Před rokem +6

    I hate when I am around smug married folks and I need to justify why I am single and don’t have children. Why do married folks do this?
    I am an independent woman who can stand on my own 2 feet.

    • @smileyhs7334
      @smileyhs7334 Před rokem +3

      Consider that they may envy your freedom! Just smile and say "that is MY choice, you live your life according to your choices". For years my husband and I had to defend our decision not to have children and I eventually learned that the people who criticized us the worst, were those who were the most unhappiest because of their own choice to have kids, so don't let them bother you. Good on you for being able to be independent -- enjoy it! (From a woman who envies you for that!)

    • @Clevelandsteamer324
      @Clevelandsteamer324 Před 4 měsíci

      By independent you mean an adult? Do men say they are independent?

  • @CarlosBroderick
    @CarlosBroderick Před rokem +6

    I love your videos. My ex boyfriend & I both watched your videos when we first met. Your video's remind me I am my own person before I start ruminating.

  • @NoneYa-pg6dk
    @NoneYa-pg6dk Před rokem +6

    Timing has never been better. I am itching so much to explain why I made my decision to a family member who is passively upset, which is understandable, but I changed my mind because I didn’t fully evaluate the situation I was putting myself into. Anyways, I hope one day this will come to me naturally.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +1

      It will with practice and with feeling more solid and secure in who you are.

  • @sonjazachowski8777
    @sonjazachowski8777 Před 2 měsíci

    I need to hear this 50 more times.....trusting myself. Knowing my worth because of who He says I am.....that's it....gold!

  • @NothingWasted
    @NothingWasted Před 6 měsíci +1

    Hi JULIA ❤ I am learning one of the things I dont need to justify is the healthy choices I make when I feel triggered in conflict. When I feel the tell tale signs of trauma response in my body OR signs that continuing will end in an argument... I may say, "I need to bow out and regroup. I need to process some things. I am going to go tot he park to walk. I am going to pray and journal" etc...often times those very healthy things can be challenged when those things are WISE and is evident of growth.
    I will work on not justifying my healthy communication pauses/trauma healing choices when someone questions the validity or turns it on me.
    After counseling about this, I have recently said, "Going forward, I want to let you know I will continue to choose to do healthy things when I feel it is appropriate to process things and later regroup and no one can stop me" 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @rach5516
    @rach5516 Před rokem +2

    We are all different, that is what makes life wonderful, you shouldn’t have to justify the things that make you unique, Providing it doesn’t hurt others.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out...💬

  • @tacocat510
    @tacocat510 Před 8 dny

    Regarding food choices: my mother is a registered dietician but when through college in the 1960s (big push for dairy, meat, eggs). She didn't serve much fruit and we never had salads, just a cooked vegetable as a side. In 9th grade I was overweight due to a medication I was on having caused 50 lbs of weight gain in only a year. My school health teacher taught about eating a high raw fresh fruits and vegetable diet with about 15-20% cooked rice, beans, sweet potatoes, or cooked veggie. I decided to try it out with a few classmates and feel in love. Within the first year , I had dropped the 50 extra pounds, felt great, had tons of energy, slept better than ever, acne cleared almost completely, the list goes on. The only problem was that my mother felt rejected because I wouldn't eat what she made for dinners but rather made my own salads to sit at still eat with the family. I always cleaned up after myself also. She would make little comments throughout the first year to make me feel bad for not eating her American diet foods that focused in "portion control" and "caloric limitation" but she would serve everything from hamburgers, spaghetti with meat sauce, Mac n cheese, beef stroganoff, etc. I kept explaining to her that I felt so much better physically and mentally eating the fresh fruits and veggies and not having to limit my portions so I would actually feel full and not hungry all the time. Year two turned into constant arguments about it. She thought I didn't have a "balanced diet" because I wouldn't eat the ice cream or pie desserts. She said I couldn't possibly stay on the diet I was in forever and I needed to go back to eating "normal foods" and just portion controlling them. Finally, she said that she was so hurt by my not eating her cooking that it was going to ruin our relationship. So, at 18, I chose the relationship with my mom over my food choices. It took me 6 months to not feel sick eating that food again and I was never able to go back to dairy as I had become intolerant over the two years off it. Now, I'm over 40 and still eating all the junk meals my mother approves of and am obese. Anytime I've attempted to go back to the other diet, she shames me so badly when she visits and then "reeducated" me on how to portion control. I've done a lot of work on myself emotionally the past 5 years and have finally learned to detach myself from our enmeshed relationship. My mom is angry and says she's miserable and that it's my fault for intentionally punishing her by not doing what she approves of with my life and the final step will be getting back to my long lost healthful diet of fresh whole foods. I'm actually really excited and know the extra weight I have will fall off over time. I also know my energy levels will go back up and I can exercise more than I do now (even though I'm obese, I'm very active. I exercise daily and am remodeling an old house about 4-5 hours a day after I do what I need to with the business I started a few years ago. This video pinpoints some very specific things that many struggle with in these unhealthy relationships. I just remember now that no matter what even my own parents think of my decisions, I know why I chose them and they are right for me and that is enough. Cheers everyone on this journey to health in all areas!!!! ❤❤🎉🎉

  • @verucasalt6519
    @verucasalt6519 Před rokem +2

    Not that I needed another reason to love you but yes to syrup on the sausage. I am glad you and I connect on that among many other things! 🎉

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
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  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I was a Hospice volunteer Julia.

  • @edwardboyle1381
    @edwardboyle1381 Před rokem +2

    Just ordered "Drive Your Own Darn Bus" I'm New to watching/listening to Julia and I am really liking what Julia has to say and is very important to me! Thanks Julia!

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
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  • @trishsaunders4296
    @trishsaunders4296 Před rokem +6

    300,000 subscribers. Congratulations Julia! Thank you for your wonderful teaching.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +3

      Thanks Trish! I'm grateful for every human here wanting better for themselves and their lives. It truly is inspiring.

    • @chrisdigitalartist
      @chrisdigitalartist Před rokem +1

      @@juliakristinamah Time to update your profile picture with a new number! Lol

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    You can put yourself first there’s nothing wrong with that.

  • @MariyahWatkins-my7th
    @MariyahWatkins-my7th Před 3 měsíci

    Hello My name is Mariyah Watkins And I just started watching with everything that's going on I feel like I can learn something new everytime I watch It like I can get something out of it everytime

  • @twinkle3026
    @twinkle3026 Před rokem

    Hello and thank you from The UK! I have found this video very comforting as i am 61 years old, (This is me in a recent photo on my profile picture) and due to me being on the receiving end of a very abusive, so called family, whom i ran away from, over 40 years ago, i never had a childhood or a teenage life because they never allowed me to leave their house except for school, work and grocery shopping for them and they would flog me with belts and a piece of cut up hosepipe for even asking to be allowed out. I was always scared and lonely in that hovel/prison! This has made me, as an adult, want to be very thin and dress very young. I feel real good, by dressing in this way, but whenever i go anywhere, i get ridiculed by unknown women the same age as myself. You have made me finally realise, it is none of their business. Before, i would feel guilty about dressing in my chosen way and as my confidence is very low, i almost felt they were right to criticise me, but now i realise, i have been shaped into who i am and other people have no say in how i dress. I wear short tight dresses, mini skirts, slashed jeans, tattoos and piercings, but society says that at my age i must have short silver hair and wear very conservative clothing! There are even lots of toxic videos on -line, 'advising' us older ladies what we "MUST NOT" wear! At long last i think to myself, i can wear what i please as long as i don't hurt anyone, so there!!! ....... Thank you so much, pretty lady, for helping me to see the light! Kind regards! xxxxxxx

  • @heathersiegfried8985
    @heathersiegfried8985 Před rokem +1

    Great talk! The one thing I constantly feel I have to justify is my time. Typically this is to my significant other. I'm struggling with how much of that is his and how much of that is mine.

  • @erikkohl
    @erikkohl Před 11 měsíci +2

    Syrup and Sausage with a Side of Kale!
    Oh, if only I was still interested in writing songs, this could have been a great one that your discussion just inspired me to write. But, I do not feel the need anymore to justify my existence by trying to create something great, and I thank you for helping me with this. I so appreciate the value of your inspiring input. 🤸 🤸‍♂ 🤸‍♀ 🤸

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I wanted to be a History teacher Julia because I love History.

  • @hatweigle2268
    @hatweigle2268 Před 5 měsíci

    Yahhs Our choices/taste/seasonal changes are our own business. Ty Ms.

  • @samiramehdian211
    @samiramehdian211 Před měsícem

    You are the best!!! We are lucky to be able to hear this

  • @ms.vickieb
    @ms.vickieb Před rokem

    Thank you so much!

  • @user-ok8mr6qz7h
    @user-ok8mr6qz7h Před měsícem

    Just listened to your emotional immaturity signs it’s excellent precise and a very clear understanding and yes I have experienced several of these signs from my late husband and a few friends. I feel it can be very taxing on you to have these people in your life thus I choose after much thought to not be in those relationships I have great and healthy relationships I totally enjoy and have come to realize I don’t need to be in relationships that are toxic thanks for this information you’re a great therapist

  • @teresastankard5340
    @teresastankard5340 Před 10 měsíci +1

    I always justify why my house looks like it does when people come over.

  • @learn-rz1dx
    @learn-rz1dx Před 3 dny

    4:38 1. What's important to you
    7:09 2. Being yourself
    9:58 3. Career path
    14:07 4. Health choices
    17:17 5. Appearance
    17:51 6. Goals and dreams
    21:58 7. Why you put yourself first.

  • @carloscanenguez6540
    @carloscanenguez6540 Před 8 měsíci

    Thank you 😊

  • @bruceprigge5212
    @bruceprigge5212 Před rokem

    Thank you! 🙂

  • @HorticulturaconlosZamoras

    Great!!! Thank you!

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I love Soft Rock and Seafood Julia.❤

  • @MariaSantos-gm7ps
    @MariaSantos-gm7ps Před rokem

    Thanks”

  • @riihne
    @riihne Před rokem

    Wow, I needed this video. Thank you🥰

  • @sabariel33
    @sabariel33 Před rokem +1

    This is beautiful. THANK YOU❤

  • @kseniakovalova3435
    @kseniakovalova3435 Před měsícem

    Thank you so much for this, it sounds obvious but I needed for someone to outline it for me, because I’m so guilty of over explaining. Also thank you for bringing up the reason why we do that.

  • @ricardojmestre
    @ricardojmestre Před 2 měsíci

    Brilliant! Thank you ❤

  • @bonnielee7134
    @bonnielee7134 Před měsícem

    Yes. My covert narc sister would project her worries and time lines of not achieving life goals and say to me: don’t you want to go to college? Don’t you want to buy a house? Don’t you want a career? I’m like, no, I don’t think or worry about these things, quit stressing me out with your own worries. That’s you! Not me!
    But as time went on it did wear me down about being a, “ looser “ she would call me looser. I had no idea about this personality disorder.
    The church does it too, you know. Only it’s worse because they use your own fear against you. The fear of heaven or hell.

  • @aleismaxim6575
    @aleismaxim6575 Před měsícem

    I know this comment comes late, but I wanted to add a thought that came when you were speaking about the food shaming. In relation to that, as a drug and alcohol counselor, we need to stop shaming people who are not drinking alcohol in a social setting. It does not even need to be commented on. The attitude around alcohol in the UA is so unhealthy that it makes it difficult for people who have a problem and are trying to change that behavior. I tell my people that they do not need to justify why they are drinking to anyone.

  • @joncaradies3155
    @joncaradies3155 Před rokem +1

    Great video !!! Thanks ! I always get so much from your wisdom !!! ..... Cheers .... :D

  • @user-jq4vy7hj4e
    @user-jq4vy7hj4e Před 10 měsíci

    So good!!!!

  • @Mirage1969no
    @Mirage1969no Před rokem

    Thank you. I just found this channel and have watched 6-7 of your talks. Responds well with me. Rigmor, Norway

  • @Thecoolcjay
    @Thecoolcjay Před rokem +5

    Thank you Julia for the video

  • @socogirl8610
    @socogirl8610 Před rokem +1

    Thank-you. Much to process. Cried thru the whole video

  • @tanyajohnson2118
    @tanyajohnson2118 Před rokem +6

    I’m on your waitlist.
    Your teachings have helped me greatly in creating a new healthy lifestyle mentally/emotionally. Thank you!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +1

      Can't wait to welcome you Tanya - you're going to get so many shifts out of it.

  • @SoniaProteau-cj6tk
    @SoniaProteau-cj6tk Před 4 měsíci

    Thanks this is educational 😊

  • @frgrl3205
    @frgrl3205 Před rokem +1

    Hi Julia! I just got your audiobook. I’m excited to listen to it. I’m glad you are the narrator. Thank you for all that you do.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out...💬

  • @denisf.1744
    @denisf.1744 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Thank You Julia For Coming Back With Another Great Video,Denis🧸😘

  • @frgrl3205
    @frgrl3205 Před rokem +2

    I love your book!!! Thank you. Your channel is by far my favorite. I’m learning so much, I’m on your waitlist. ❣️

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před rokem +1

      So glad you loved the book -and I can't wait to welcome you into the shift.

  • @sallyrichardson6078
    @sallyrichardson6078 Před 3 měsíci

    This was just brilliant . What a gift you are. Thankyou 🇦🇺

  • @deewashington424
    @deewashington424 Před rokem +1

    Preach it Sista!

  • @dalenjurgens6751
    @dalenjurgens6751 Před rokem

    Good to see you again, thank you for the video.

  • @Zskyblue63
    @Zskyblue63 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Great advise I’m new here and in todays world just gaining more knowledge is power . Thank you for teaching things that are easy to understand 🙂that in itself helps .

  • @joemerenda3389
    @joemerenda3389 Před 10 měsíci +1

    really enjoying these talks. Helping me both personally and as a clinician.

  • @alpha9605
    @alpha9605 Před rokem +4

    Thank you so much for all of these videos :) 😀

  • @user-me9be3mk4p
    @user-me9be3mk4p Před 4 měsíci

    Good one.

  • @kirstenvzumba9246
    @kirstenvzumba9246 Před rokem +2

    When you used the example of a person feeling that they need to justify healthy food choices, I was feeling the exact opposite!! I sometimes feel like I'm being judged by "food nazis" for eating carbs, sweets or whatever is the current "evil" unhealthy food!! I always find myself saying "I'm having a rough day, I need some comfort food" or "I did 2 hours of Zumba, so I deserve a little treat!". WHY do I need to justify the fact that I'm NOT a vegan or a low-carb, no sugar ascetic?? I'm human and I enjoy delicious foods!!!

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out...💬

  • @txspacemom765
    @txspacemom765 Před rokem +3

    Move in silence. I have a list of what I am working on and no one knows. It's when it's done, IF they find out, good for them. I don't explain. It also comes with age. I don't have time.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment...

  • @MariaSantos-gm7ps
    @MariaSantos-gm7ps Před rokem +3

    Good morning Julia Kristina I just finished reading Your book

  • @amymartin7272
    @amymartin7272 Před rokem +3

    We really appreciate your work and your style, thank you for being so kind and thanks heavens for you; to me to u, to u to me.

  • @aden313
    @aden313 Před rokem

    I just love you . Thank you so much for this content ❤

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Před rokem

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment....

  • @kv7282
    @kv7282 Před 2 měsíci

    Very very nice information.