7 Signs Your Partner is Emotionally Immature

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  • čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
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    Emotional immaturity is when someone can't recognize or control their emotions in an age-appropriate way. An emotionally immature partner shows a lack of depth and understanding about their emotions as well as their partners. This can be an emotionally immature man or an emotionally immature woman. Being emotionally immature puts a lot of stress and strain on the relationship leaving the other partner drained and emotionally depleted. If you've been struggling in your relationship because you can't seem to get on the same page as your partner, it might be because they are emotionally immature, and in this talk I tell you the key signs to look for so you can know for sure.
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Komentáře • 69

  • @sunshineandrain2278
    @sunshineandrain2278 Před měsícem +33

    1. Lack empathy
    2. Selfish
    3. Don’t respect boundaries
    4. Don’t take responsibility, blame others and struggle in diverse contexts
    5. Take things personally/Very defensive
    6. Difficulty controlling emotions
    7. Not be honest about feelings

  • @minnae.1747
    @minnae.1747 Před měsícem +34

    Talking about emotional immaturity is a great way to talk about narcissism, without even having to use the word narcissism.

    • @rongike
      @rongike Před měsícem +6

      yeah the word narcissism triggers tf out of people, especially narcissists..

    • @Nick-kf3io
      @Nick-kf3io Před měsícem +6

      Non narcissistic people can still be emotionally immature though

    • @minnae.1747
      @minnae.1747 Před měsícem +2

      @@Nick-kf3io Yeah they can be. I've been on this emotional immaturity kick lately. It gives something very concrete to say about a narcissist without labelling them. Hell, I love to label them but not everyone is as receptive about labels.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před měsícem +8

      it's true - but both are usually the result of some kind of trauma or attachment injury during childhood.

    • @melissasymonds1523
      @melissasymonds1523 Před měsícem +1

      @@juliakristinamahyes but not all people that suffer abuse and trauma become narcissistic - but we often end up with one 🤦‍♀️

  • @Padam91
    @Padam91 Před měsícem +11

    My ex boyfriend checked all of these boxes and then some. We broke up 6,5 years ago but I still get scared when entering a new relationship. I just started going out with a lovely man who hasn't shown any of these tendencies so far. Being with him feels so easy and peaceful. Let's hope it continues to be this way 😊

  • @percystreet
    @percystreet Před měsícem +7

    Stupidly/comically defensive……… even a question like, “what is the weather going to be like today?” Is negative criticism…… exhausting….. “how can I be expected to know that?”

    • @patriciacole8773
      @patriciacole8773 Před měsícem +2

      Gosh I have said many times the only safe topic is the boring weather forecast. Yikes!

  • @lisareid7043
    @lisareid7043 Před měsícem +20

    Now so much makes complete sense and even gut warnings when meeting new people make sense now. Over 40 years married I learned peace is way more desirable than company or a relationship.

    • @lesliengo8347
      @lesliengo8347 Před měsícem

      Loneliness is an issue if we don't connect with someone we can be ourselves with.

  • @mvg2x34
    @mvg2x34 Před 12 dny

    27 yrs married and the pattern never changes. Mistake(financial, car accident, schedule,etc. - they are confronted with the mistake > they throw an emotional fit> takes discussing their mistake as a personal affront>full on defensive behavior> further dishonesty.

  • @lesliengo8347
    @lesliengo8347 Před měsícem +3

    My dad is emotionally immature. He does not talk about his feelings when it comes, takes things personally, does not regulate emotions, blames external factors for his problems, interprets things negatively and gives the silent treatment when upset. Like most, he didn't learned how to manage feelings, but it is difficult if we raised issues with him and he cannot see what our prespective is like. This often results in boundaries and requests go unmet repeatedly. However, identifying these behaviours is the first step to address issues in a relationship.

  • @angiefoster4340
    @angiefoster4340 Před měsícem +12

    I have been with my spouse 3.5 years. Hearing this today described us better then I have been able to put into words or even understand why. Thank you

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před měsícem

      I'm really grateful that you found this helpful. Thanks for watching.

  • @aok9969
    @aok9969 Před měsícem +6

    Sounds very familiar. Weird how there’s always a pattern. Weird how everything makes sense when you think about it. People seem to develop in similar ways. It’s eerie.

  • @patriciacole8773
    @patriciacole8773 Před měsícem +1

    They intentionally twist reality to dysregulate our emotions to see our upset as proof of their anxiety being normal since they just got you to exhibit anxiety.

  • @therocknrollcook
    @therocknrollcook Před měsícem +7

    I recently came out of a relationship with an avoidant middle aged man. He never had a relationship longer than 2 weeks before me. I saw over 6 months why . He had been so emotionally neglected/ abused as a child which of course materialized in his broken, short term relationships and low self esteem despite his handsome appearance . 😢😢

    • @veronikakdc
      @veronikakdc Před měsícem +1

      I had the same with my recent ex. So pitty and hard on me ad most of the time I couldn't understand whats going on as he wasn't able to communicate at all. His professional life has similar issues really.

    • @therocknrollcook
      @therocknrollcook Před měsícem

      Yes ! His professional life was in shambles too. You nailed it sister

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Před měsícem

      thanks for sharing that.

  • @robin513
    @robin513 Před měsícem +3

    I'm dealing with this . A partner - also an adult child

  • @chrisdigitalartist
    @chrisdigitalartist Před měsícem +6

    Julia,
    What a very interesting video today:
    7 Key Signs Your Partner is Emotionally Immature
    First, I really like and appreciate that you added text for each sign on the video. It makes it easier to take down notes. Thank you! =)
    I am not in a romantic relationship with anyone, but I can see that all these things can still be applied to family members and friends. It also helps me to look within myself and see my growth in my own emotional maturity.

    Here are my notes:

    *Emotionally immaturity refers to someone's inability to recognize or control their emotions in an age-appropriate way.
    *People who show a lack of depth of their own emotions and a lack of depth for their partner's emotions.
    *Emotional Immaturity puts a lot of stress and strain on a relationship.
    *There is no judgement for those who are emotionally immature or those with someone who is emotionally immature.

    7 Key Signs:
    1. They Lack Empathy.
    2. They Don't Respect Your Boundaries.
    3. They Don't Take Responsibility.
    4. They Have a Hard Time Managing Their Emotions.
    5.They Take Things Really Personally.
    6.They Often Get Very Defensive.
    7. They Will Not Talk About Their Feelings.

  • @jacquelines7071
    @jacquelines7071 Před měsícem +6

    I can see this now with my adoptive mother. She was bad . 😢. Yes she was never the problem in her warp of a mind. I know because she told me what happened to her. But I've never abused my children because of her.

    • @jacquelines7071
      @jacquelines7071 Před měsícem

      And I see it goes on until you do something about it. All my relationships I took care of everything. Now I'm the female I'd like to be somewhat taken care of

    • @jacquelines7071
      @jacquelines7071 Před měsícem

      And now she's gone dead there's a peace I've never had it ce from both parents. He molested me. At times he was a very good person, I don't understand how that came to be only I watched he was not alone with my kids . I don't think that malady can be healed or fixed 😢😢😢😢

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 Před měsícem +6

    Lack of empathy = psychopathy. Run. These people are not human.

    • @rongike
      @rongike Před měsícem +7

      not necessarily, they can just be sooooo insecure they don't have the mental capacity to notice anyone else's needs. lots of that these days.

    • @therocknrollcook
      @therocknrollcook Před měsícem +2

      @@rongike well said 😢 so much of these in today’s society 😢

  • @sailor1921
    @sailor1921 Před měsícem +6

    Why evaluating others (except, of course, to avoid self-reflection and focus on oneself)? Whether or not the other one is emotionally immature (or whatever they could/may/might be) or not is none of your business, for one. Two, if they are, and you keep being around them, chances are, you are yourself too. Or co-dependent. Or both.

  • @lttlod1
    @lttlod1 Před měsícem +1

    I've been emotionally immature. The friendships I've attracted have been emotionally immature. I've worked on myself and have left friends who blame and couldn't take responsibility and grow. I want a partner that is emotionally mature and I want to meet him at that level : ) I love these videos!!

  • @laureen9576
    @laureen9576 Před měsícem +5

    This is a very good subject, I can be emotionally immature in how I react sometimes. I was pretty bad as a young adult but over time I’ve learned to control my emotions having better tools to help me resolve issues that use to overwhelm me. I believe that is key. When you were not taught how to resolve an issue, it’s overwhelming depending on the severity of the problem. I’m looking forward to learning more from your suggested videos. Thank you! ❤

  • @seowweetang2253
    @seowweetang2253 Před měsícem

    Just the other day, my partner told me her tummy hurts. I told her "Get some rest. Hope your tummy feels better". She started a fight over the fact she doesn't like the word "hope". Saying its negative.

  • @percystreet
    @percystreet Před měsícem

    No accountability, no empathy, backed up with lies……. Thankfully, a year plus of research has meant that I am now able to see what is what

  • @VeronicaMxoxo
    @VeronicaMxoxo Před měsícem +1

    This was so affirming to hear put into words and as you described. I know I have some work to do in this area but as I’ve tried to better myself my partner seems determined to dig his heels in even further with defensive, blaming responses. What you said about trying to resolve something being interpreted as an attack is spot on. Thank for you this video Julia!

  • @kathybrady-cl6xt
    @kathybrady-cl6xt Před měsícem

    I feel so emotional after watching this. I have been married for 37 years, and 90% of the marriage has been great, but one thing goes triggers him, and he is exactly as Julia describes. It all makes sense.

  • @Sunpg
    @Sunpg Před měsícem +2

    I really needed to hear this today. Thank you for posting this. I cannot say the issues are all on the other side, I have some of these issues as well. Really good to know and recognize these signs in myself or others.

  • @antoniostrina82
    @antoniostrina82 Před měsícem

    I had a relationship with an emotionally immature girl, twenty-one years ago. She was seventeen and I was twenty. Only now, almost forty-two, I know that I could have helped her instead of being stubborn against her behaviour, and prevent her to make wrong decisions for her life.

  • @abiolaarrow4787
    @abiolaarrow4787 Před měsícem

    Thank you Julia, this was enlightening... Very spot on

  • @carolssslife
    @carolssslife Před měsícem +1

    Hi...love your content. I love people who are mature, and so wise. Thanks for sharing

  • @russellmacallister6846
    @russellmacallister6846 Před měsícem +1

    This has been a difficult almost 2yrs. I've been dealing with almost ALL of what you shared here. The 1st thing I noticed and asked a friend-(therapist) about was Transference.
    I see something in her that's worth fighting for, but at what expense to my all around health?
    I will continue to pray for her healing process. 🙏✌❤

  • @patriciacole8773
    @patriciacole8773 Před měsícem

    Excellent information

  • @skylight6904
    @skylight6904 Před měsícem +1

    You just described my wife in 20 mins. How do I find someone like you in my country? Is there any hope for me me?

  • @Marekcatholic
    @Marekcatholic Před měsícem +2

    Thank you Julia. This is helpful to understand whats going on in someone's mind. Sometimes I dont know what to think when dealing with people.

  • @berduss7149
    @berduss7149 Před měsícem +2

    I am emotionaly immature ....how about the relationship with myself ???.....

  • @homiecrab
    @homiecrab Před měsícem +3

    Is it good to leave a good relationship?
    I know it is, but without a reason except wanting to, it feels off to leave

    • @rongike
      @rongike Před měsícem +1

      there's always a reason, even if it's just a feeling you can't explain. that's your higher self stepping in to set you on your path.

    • @sim771
      @sim771 Před měsícem

      It depends, primarily on the why. Relationships aren’t all excitement and spontaneity and healthy ones are mundane so if you’re seeking that rush of excitement then that is worth looking inwards because fr no relationship is going to always feel exciting and be perfect.
      Probably worth actually talking to a professional like a therapist or counsellor rather than the internet

  • @luvqraft6024
    @luvqraft6024 Před měsícem +1

    I carry my own load along with my adolescent jokes.

  • @aliahmedyacin721
    @aliahmedyacin721 Před měsícem +1

    Thank you a lot, JK❤.

  • @Leggs013
    @Leggs013 Před měsícem +3

    Too Many Childish Adults in the USA

  • @meganbroad6981
    @meganbroad6981 Před měsícem +1

    My husband.....😢

  • @Klay_Dubya
    @Klay_Dubya Před měsícem +1

    Okay so what do you recommend for two people in a relationship that both are not consistently emotionally mature?

    • @lesliengo8347
      @lesliengo8347 Před měsícem +2

      Depends on the situation. Is it a partner, friend or parent relationship? Regardless, learning about emotional immaturity and how to become more emotionally mature is a good start. It works if they are willing to learn about emotional maturity.

  • @percystreet
    @percystreet Před měsícem

    A five year-old….. yes……. There is a 20 year age difference between myself and my wife……..often it seems more like 60 years

  • @percystreet
    @percystreet Před měsícem

    How is it?……….. appalling……my two daughters (6 and 4) are showing more emotional maturity

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 Před měsícem

    18:09 eagerly offended

  • @stevecatanio8532
    @stevecatanio8532 Před měsícem

    I'm mature I think .😂

  • @percystreet
    @percystreet Před měsícem

    Lonely, yes, because they do not work as a partner……… they end up p155ing on you all the time instead

  • @ronaldrobinson4559
    @ronaldrobinson4559 Před měsícem

    Women seem to have the emotional issues. Men are very direct and understand things with logic.

    • @lesliengo8347
      @lesliengo8347 Před měsícem +2

      Depends on who you ask 🤷🏽‍♂️. I am a male and I struggle with emotionally immaturity.

    • @CJSmith-ky5bh
      @CJSmith-ky5bh Před 29 dny +1

      Given the violence against women by men, the assaults, murders, stalking etc, I’d say that’s the huge proof that there’s a great deal of emotional immaturity in men.

  • @88Oleksiy
    @88Oleksiy Před měsícem

    If you are with an emotionally inmature person, then you are also emotionally immature person. Emotionally mature person would never be with emotionally immature person.

    • @lesliengo8347
      @lesliengo8347 Před měsícem

      We don't have control over our external circumstances. We might not even recognize the signs of emotional immaturity until we get deeper into a relationship. And that is assuming we know what to look for in an emotionally immature person.